


Brief Encounters

by HitmeonmyTspot



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, TaronEgerton
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, TaronEgerton&reader, taronegerton - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:20:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 106
Words: 252,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HitmeonmyTspot/pseuds/HitmeonmyTspot
Summary: Eryn an independent writer wants to escape her current drama to the luxury of a holiday abroad. Covid 19 has other ideas.She ends up in her childhood holiday location of Aberystwyth in Wales.A chance meeting and a little bit of courage might just change her life.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

Oh dear, she thought, Yep, yep that was her stop, damn it. As she watched the station disappear. Great! She would have to grab a taxi from the next stop. Peeling her face off the cold glass of the window had left a red mark on her cheek and as she checked her face in her compact, she groaned. She needed this holiday, so badly. It was a shame it wasn’t somewhere exotic, but good old Covid – 19 had put pay to that. The train was packed now, children were squealing and running up and down the aisle, families and friends chatting away. She could hear a couple of overly loud phone conversations and excused herself from her window seat. Pulling her duffle from overhead she bumped passed the last few rows and collected her wheelie case, moving it into place by the door, she leant on the wall and watched the scene rush past the open window.  
The train pulled up and she managed to struggle off among the throngs of holiday makers, who were heading to The Mumbles the best-known tourist area in that part of Wales. Making her way over to the taxi rank, she was met with a wide smile and a proper gentleman. Taking her bags and putting them in the back for her. The driver was surprised by her destination, but Eryn explained about missing her stop and wanting to just get to her hotel and settle down. She chatted with Evan, the driver all the way, he was such a sweet chap, he asked her all the usual questions, covered the obligatory covid 19 questions and complaints and before it seemed any time had passed, they pulled up into from of the prettiest hotel she’d ever seen. It overlooked the bay and Eryn could finally think about relaxing, she thought as she took it all in.  
Evan took her bags all the way to reception, which was extremely sweet, and she made sure to give him a decent tip, despite it not being the custom. Eryn believed in credit where it was due. Eryn was shown to a beautiful modern double room, with the most stunning sea views. One she had thanked the young lady who had brought her up and shut the door. She dropped onto the bed. A huge sigh escaped her tired and frankly burnt out mind and body. This break was going to do her a great deal of good.  
Soon a growling tummy, made her think of moving and she pulled her wheelie case over to the wardrobe, hanging everything up and putting all the clothes in the draws, she unloaded her toiletries in the luxurious bathroom and kicked the suitcase under the bed. She pulled her laptop out of her duffle and set it up on the bedside to charge. Pulling off her work clothes and shoving them in the bottom corner of the wardrobe, she quickly showered and threw on a pair of skinny jeans and a light blue blouse, she slipped her feet into a pair of comfy pumps. She was too tired to bother with much else, opting for a dash of mascara and a bit of pink lippy. She brushed out her long blonde hair and spritzed it with hairspray, having been in a ponytail most of the day it sat slightly kinked, but she wasn’t planning on a night out, just dinner.  
It was then, as she looked in the mirror and swallowed hard. She had never thought she would be doing this alone. This trip had been booked a year ago when she and Phil were still together. She had considered cancelling, not wanting to be ‘Billy no – mates’ and a total saddo, by going on holiday alone. But somehow, she had convinced herself, it would be good for her, to do things on her own, be more comfortable with herself and anyway she could always lie and say it was a business trip.  
Coming out of the lift, she wandered over to reception to ask for directions to the main town centre, a dark-haired guy was working reception now. Shift change, she thought. She asked the guy at the desk, taking note of his name badge ‘Sonny’ he was not bad looking, she thought as his dark eyes twinkled at her as she spoke. She adored the welsh accent and almost forgot to listen to what he said it sounded so dreamy.  
David had offered to call a taxi, but it was a warm, summer evening, not even dark yet, so she opted to walk. That way she could take things in and maybe work out a few things to do during the week. It was an incredibly beautiful place and Eryn was never more at home than when she was by the sea. As child she had been obsessed with mermaids, having fallen in love with Tom Hanks and Madison in the film ‘Splash’ then soon after Disney’s little mermaid sealed that love.  
She sauntered down the promenade, listening to the waves and watching the sun set, plenty of people were milling about and she saw a sweet little pub with a pretty, lit up garden. She found a table and had a look at the menu. Having ordered she sat and sipped her wine. “See” she told herself, “how hard was that?” she smiled and attempted to avoid checking her phone. Despite having heard it buzz a couple of times. Eryn loved to people watch, as a writer, she found her best ideas came from simply sitting in one spot and watching the world go on around her.  
And as she dived into her meal, a traditional fish and chips of course. She found herself watching a small group of people. There were about 6 or 7 in the group, a mixture of girls and lads, their interactions interchanging easily told her they must know each other well, probably from school. Local from the sounds of the accent, though Eryn was no expert of dialects and welsh was welsh to her. She nibbled on her chips, while she tried to work out whether anyone was a couple and if so who. Having made her decisions, she began her usual little game. Creating a persona and a story for each individual and building the padding that made a character whole.  
A tall girl, with dark hair sweeping her shoulders, she decided she was some kind of business or law assistant, too young she thought to be far up the company, but ‘Darcy’ she decided was a mysterious character, all the boys fell at her feet of course and outwardly she was confident and even a little cold, an ice princess? ‘Yes’ Eryn said accidentally out loud, thankfully no one saw, she decided it best to get another drink and a dessert. After, all she was on holiday.  
While she was at the bar, she gave in and turned the phone over, groaning at eight missed calls, she quickly looked to see who they were from. Two from Mum, one From Henny her best friend and five from Phil. She turned the phone over and dropped it onto the bar, a tad heavier than she meant. The chap next to her gave a start, making eye contact, Eryn stopped amazed she had never seen anyone with such a dazzling smile. His eyes were stunning, and she had to swallow hard as she smiled apologetically. Forcing herself to look away, so as not appear creepy as the dazzling stranger walked out and joined the group she had been studying.  
Taking a deep breath, she paid for her dessert and drink and returned to her table. Sitting facing the group as before, only now she wished that she hadn’t. She was sure the dazzling stranger, was looking at her. She told herself off, I mean she said to the voice in her head, as if someone like that could possibly… Her thoughts were interrupted as he appeared to be coming over. She sipped her wine and tried to pretend she hadn’t noticed. “Hi” he said in that dreamily welsh accent, Eryn loved so much. Looking up, she smiled “Hi” was all she could manage as her brain scrabbled around for something witty or intelligent to say.  
“I couldn’t help but notice you slamming your phone on the bar and you’re sat all by yourself, I wanted to check everything was ok?” the stranger smiled that 100watt smile again and Eryn noticed how dimples appeared as he did so. Eryn shook her head, “Yeah, I’m good, thanks” she answered. ‘loser’ the voice in her head chirped, ‘and you a writer, could you not manage anything more articulate’ she cringed. “Ok” the stranger smiled “I’m Taron by the way” the stranger held out his hand “Eryn” was all Eryn could manage, as ridiculously the exceptional stranger kissed her hand. Her brain was screaming, at her now. You are dreaming, no it’s the wine, you’re tired. C’mon no one does that nowadays, who kisses a lady’s hand! “well, Taron coughed, come join us if you get fed up, on your own” he said smiling. Just as the most enormous dessert was set in front of her.  
‘Fatty’ ‘Glutton’ her inner voice taunted, “Looks good” Taron nodded at the pile of chocolate cake, ice cream and whipped cream and smiled as he wandered back to the group. Now what, she thought. I must eat this, or I look crazy ordering it, but I can’t eat it in front of him, omg I have no appetite now either. She thought draining her wine glass. She tried to eat the dessert as sensibly and grown up as she could. But only manged half, before she escaped to the ladies and whimpered to herself.  
“Now?” she barked at the closed door of the cubicle. “Like what the actual?” This was meant to be a man free zone, a time to move on from Phil, not … not her mind trailed off as she found herself thinking about the stranger, Taron, he said his name was, didn’t he? Yes, she was sure it was Taron. “Well Taron, she spoke into the mirror “I am a grown woman and in complete control” I shall simply finish my meal and head back to the hotel. I can ignore this, “hot” her brain interrupted ‘No’ she countered. “I can do this” she re applied her lipstick, as one of the girls, from the group came out of the cubicle.  
Eryn flushed red, “Don’t worry” she said with a smile, “I won’t say anything, everyone knows Taron’s hot, but him” she laughed moving her hair in the mirror, deciding whether it was better on the left or right side. Eryn groaned again, “I really need to stop thinking out loud” she said “Might be a good idea” the girl chuckled “Hey, you can’t go wrong with our Taron though, he’s a good’ en and there’s not many of them around, am I right?” she said pouting in the mirror and applying her own lipstick. “I’m only here on holiday for a week” Eryn said “I promised it would be man free” the girl nodded. “All good plans and that, though” she said “Anyway, I won’t say owt, so do whatever you want” she winked and patted Eryn on the arm.  
“Hey, if you do decide to stay, why don’t you come join us, I’m Meghan” held out her hand “Eryn” Eryn replied.  
As the two girls left the ladies, Eryn turned to Meghan “Fuck it, can you wait for me to get a drink, is that ok?” Eryn didn’t know why she had thrown all her plans out the window already, but hey who knew where tonight might lead.  
“Hey guys” said Meghan “This is Eryn, from that London, she’s down here on a working holiday on her own, so I said she should come join us” Meghan continued, having learnt all the information on the way from the bar. Everyone introduced each other and when it came to Taron, he smiled “Glad you decided to join us” he said “well, it was either that or sit on my own and avoid calls from someone I don’t want to speak to” Eryn replied. Soon Eryn relaxed into the group, her first night in Aberystwyth was certainly not anything like she’d expected, she couldn’t help stealing glances at Taron, nothing like she expected at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two  
Opening her eyes, Eryn was glad to find she was in her hotel bed, she checked and was relieved to find she was alone. A weird disappointment creeped over her, as she remembered Taron, the blonde, slightly curled hair, the sweet green -blue eyes, the dimples when he smiled. “Omg” she shouted out loud, “What are you doing woman mooning over another man, when you have…” she stopped and looked at her phone “oh good god 18 missed calls from the last bad decision you made while enjoying too much wine” she sighed. Stretching out, she looked at the time, 9am not bad considering, she thought. How did I get back here? She had no idea, the last she remembered was walking down the promenade looking for candy floss. “Oh god” she thought as she pulled herself out of bed and went to wash, “I probably made a right fool of myself” Looking at her reflection, she picked the mascara goop from the corners of her eyes, “what looker” she chuckled. Taking it in, She had slept in her clothes, which were scrunched up, the bed sheet left a lovely set of indentations on her right arm, and as she inspected her skin, she was sure she saw the beginnings of a zit. “Well you wanted that shitty, greasy food” her head genie said out loud again. “oh yes, must stop doing that “she nodded, now “what to wear?” Looking out the window it was a bright sunny day, in fact she could feel it was already warm. she changed into shorts and t shirt, before heading down to grab what was left of the breakfast buffet. Aiming for something healthier. But ending up with scrambled egg on toast followed by pancakes and syrup. “Spot?” she thought before flicking that thought away.  
As she sipped her orange juice, she began dealing with the missed calls, first calling her mum and letting her know she has arrived and had not died in a freak accident with a sheep or whatever her crazy mother had dreamt up. Then texted Henny, her nickname for her best friend Helen. She had upped sticks and moved to New York two years ago and Eryn missed her massively. She knew the time difference meant calling now would be unwise.  
Lastly, she deleted her call list, watching the notifications disappear, satisfied as she saw Phil’s name plink into the recycling bin. She opened her text inbox and stopped. Taron? She sat staring at his name, confused then opened the message. Well, apparently, she not only had his number, with a ridiculously cute picture, but she had agreed to go to the beach with everyone today. The text confirmed the meeting point, time and Eryn gasped as she read the end of the text “Promise I will find you some candy floss today, T xx” Eryn’s mind went crazy, trying to remember what happened on the way home from the pub. “Candy floss, what was it about bloody candy floss?” It was as she finished her juice, and grabbed the coffee, that she received a new text, again from Taron, “ Had a brilliant time last night, can’t wait to see you today t xx” groan, Eryn slipped her phone in her pocket and carried the coffee to her room. Sitting on the edge of the bed she slurped her coffee. Wracking her brains. “How much did you drink last night she rambled, pulling out a beach bag from the inner lining of the suitcase and shoving it clumsily back under the bed. Tapping her forehead in frustration she cursed “ You can remember every fecking song lyric in history can’t yer, but not this, no not something bloody important” Having dug all the things she reckoned on needing, sunglasses, sun hat, Sun cream swimsuit /bikini “Oh my fucking god” she cringed, “ What did even bring?” looking through the draws she found the only bikini she owned it was a 1950’s sailor style, more for lounging round the pool in Crete, than on the shingles in Wales. She opted for her full body one under shorts, pulling it on she wriggled, her undulous breasts in place as they made an escape for freedom. ‘What is the deal with men and tits anyway? she pondered whilst retrieving half the crotch from between her bum cheeks. “No oh no” her head fell into her hands, she had forgotten this was the suit with the cheeky slogan, no way in the world could she wear something with “Thicc Thighs Save Lives” jutting out across her chest. Calming down, she thought, I will just have to find another one in town, plenty of time. I can change ... err somewhere. She wriggled back out of the suit and tutted, why buy the bloody thing in the first place, she thought. The whole, not doing so out loud clearly abandoned. Brushing her hair through she plaited it into two bunches and chucked her flip flops in the bag, pulling her converse on. She decided on some waterproof mascara, but she certainly couldn’t go to the beach in a full face of slap. “I look casual, I’m completely uninterested in impressing any dreamy welsh… fuck fuck” she stamped her foot and sighed. “I will have to do, she finally said to the reflection in the lift, surprising an older couple as they caught her conversation with nobody as the doors opened on the ground floor.  
Thankfully, she remembered enough about last night, to be able to navigate her way to main shopping area. “oooh Primark” she cried, almost skipping through the electric doors and grabbing a basket. “Just a swimsuit” she repeated as a couple of earrings and a cute bag went in, “oooh I do need, a Disney mickey mouse shaped brush cleaner” she mouthed “No you don’t” someone replied. Looking up, you saw Meghan and behind her Niamh, the ice princess, who in fact was nothing like the make-believe character, Eryn had given her. “hiya” Eryn said cheerily, “ You don’t need that” Meghan said , pointing at the item in Eryn’s hand, Looking forlorn she moved to return it to the shelf, when Meghan took it from her throwing it into Eryn’s basket, “But you are damn well going to have it anyway” she smiled, Eryn was relieved, she did really want it. “Well, I’m surprised your up so early, what time did you and Taron get in last night?” Niamh asked laughing “Oh shut up” Eryn groaned “I have a total blackout of last night, what the hell happened?” Eryn pleaded.  
The girls continued to browse as Meghan and Niamh gave Eryn all the details they knew. It seemed that one of the boys Bleddyn had started everyone on shots, Thankfully, they were able to tell her that as far as the time she was with them, she was all good, she had become more open as the night had gone on and they complimented her on her humour, she had fitted right in and Eryn was able to allay her worries. “The last we saw of you, was heading down the pier looking for candy floss” said Meghan with Taron she winked slyly at Eryn, as she said his name, offered to make sure you got back to your hotel alright, as you, well we all were pretty, off our faces” She said and that was it. “I was half hoping you’d have some goss for us” Niamh chipped in. As you finally got to the swim wear. “Nope” Eryn sighed “I suppose only Taron can tell me”.  
“she really likes our Tar, Meg, doesn’t she?” Niamh said, knowing full well Eryn could hear. “Oh, god no” Eryn cried “It’s really not like that” she groaned picking up tankini in bright colours, screwing her face up and putting it back. Meghan showed her a couple of bikinis, but she didn’t feel confident to wear one now, not with the possibility of humiliation still out there. Finally, she settled on a blue and purple, mermaid scales design tankini and the group paid for their stuff. It was nice having a girlie shop, she and Henny had done this every weekend, and she had really missed it.  
They decided to grab a coffee, before going their separate ways, to get ready to meet later. Eryn gave a brief explanation of why, she was not looking for a boyfriend, explaining ‘Phil’ and the whole story was too much for one day and far too involved for new friends.  
Back at the hotel, Eryn put away her purchases and pulled on the tankini, throwing a sundress over the top and slipped her feet into her flip flops. Once everything was in her beach bag, she rubbed some lip balm on her lips and took a deep breath. “I do not fancy that man, I will not allow his attractiveness break my will power” she stated, “Omg” she groaned “ You twat” she slapped her palm against her forehead “Holiday romance Eryn… you loser” “nope”  
Walking down the promenade the beach was busy. Filled with families on holiday like her for a week or two, having had to ‘Make do’ with Britain and locals out on a day at the seaside. She spotted the group immediately and was impressed, she was not sure what she expected, but a full BBQ and proper beach chairs, set round a plastic garden table with its legs shortened to lower it, wasn’t it. Six box coolers were pushed into the sand around the table, each filled with beer, Some spirits and mixer soft drinks and water.  
Niamh and Meghan waved, and Eryn waved back, as she struggled through the sand. Greetings were shared and Eryn was handed offered a drink, choosing a coke to start with, the boys teased her some, trying to make out she had been thoroughly embarrassing all night, But Eryn was used to boys like this and gave as good as she got. Taron was by noticeable by his absence. Eryn managed for once to keep her thoughts to herself and did her best to not look like she was as gutted as she felt. The girls kept her mind off it as the settled in chairs and continued their earlier conversation, the third girl of the group Kat, now also present, had been nursing a hangover and not felt up to shopping, so the girls shared the chat from earlier too.  
Eryn was explaining that Phil, was sending her numerous texts a day, despite having broken up 6 weeks ago. The girls discussed their previous experiences with men, and they bonded only as girls can. “Sounds like a dick” a voice spat bitterly. Taron grabbed a glass and poured more than enough vodka and coke into it. He looked as if he had been crying, or at least his eyes were red and bloodshot. Eryn was taken aback, by the tone of his voice. “Well, he is” she replied, not knowing how to respond. This was not the charismatic, charmer of the previous evening and she felt as though, his mood was somehow linked to the previous evening’s events, she couldn’t remember. She didn’t really know why she thought that, instinct maybe.  
Turning back to the girls, they continued their conversation, while out of the corner of her eye, she saw the boys walk further off, Taron having got up and walked off, clearly angry, or frustrated or both. From where she sat, Eryn couldn’t hear the conversation, but it was obvious something had happened, that had really upset Taron. She could see him pacing, his arms active and animated. You could see the lads body language was neutral, as they tried to help calm their friend. Finally, she saw Taron visibly crumble, one hand shielding his face from view the other threw the glass into the sand, drink and all. Immediately the others encircled Taron and one at a time, they hugged him, patted him on the back or arm.  
Eryn was impressed, she hadn’t seen men behave quite like it before and she didn’t realise she had stopped using her peripheral vision and was clearly staring straight at the unfolding scene, she averted her gaze guiltily. But without needing to it seemed like the girls too had turned and having seen their friend in need were moving now toward Taron.  
Eryn didn’t know what to do, she hadn’t the history they had, would it be weird if she too went over. “History fucking smishtory” she told herself and got up. It’s hardly a crime to show you care, he’s clearly upset, it’s the decent bloody thing to do. So, she joined the other girls, as the boys began to walk with Taron, back to the encampment. One of the lads had his arm around Taron’s shoulder and was talking constantly into his ear.  
Eryn returned to her seat and took out her phone, as a distraction more than anything. “Shit” said Kat catching sight of the screen and eleven missed calls from Phil, including five voicemails “You weren’t kidding?” she goggled “Is that all today?” Kat took the phone and scrolled through. Eryn was a little taken aback by this move but sighed. “Yep, I deleted yesterdays before breakfast” Kat flipped the phone and pulled out Eryn’s sim card, she then reached into her bag and pulled a bunch of cards with different phone brand sims attached, found the same type as Eryn’s, she slid out the original and put the new one in. Then to Eryn’s dismay and shock, Kat threw the sim card over her head, watching it go, Eryn was dumbstruck.  
“Fuckers gone now” Kat said with a grin.  



	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

She was pacing, back and forth. The dialogue was fast and full of anger, fear and anxiety. Playing it in slow motion and arguing all the angles. Eryn couldn’t stop the tears pouring down her face. She slumped finally, exhausted onto the floor next to the bed. Mute, numb and lost in a daze.  
She ducked; arms raised in defence automatic. She felt pain from his fist expand and stretch across her face. The sting humming. Her eyes are screwed up tight. Her body moves with instinct, her knees tuck under her body. As a blow hits, the side of her thigh. Head bows into her shoulders as her hands move behind it protecting the skull. As it shakes from blow after blow. Eyes closed release tears in a stream and her lips remain frozen parted slightly, a short scream caught in the air. ‘Bang’ the world shakes around her, movement in slow motion, like a dream. Again ‘Bang' and shaking ‘Bang'  
The banging becomes louder, quicker. It’s now the flash back breaks and the sound of someone knocking on her door comes into focus. Fear overtakes her at this sound, she sits and scoots into a corner, like a rabbit in the head lights, she freezes.  
But there is a voice now, “Eryn???” it asks, hypervigilant still, Eryn is able to stand and carefully, tentatively she approaches the door to her hotel room, looking through the spy hole, quickly in case she’s seen. She inhales sharply and turns the handle. Leaving a sliver of open space between the door and its frame. “Eryn?" the voice repeats, the tone is more confused now. Taron pushed the door open; he was becoming increasingly concerned by the way this was progressing but pressed on. Rounding the door, he saw her.  
Eryn seeing him too, panicked, ashamed and embarrassed. She dove under the bed covers and returned to her curled position. Taron quietly shut the door and sat on the very edge of the bed. “Eryn?" he tried “I needed to check on you, see you were ok" he continued, though he received no response from Eryn. “I can go, I am sorry Eryn" he sighed heavily running a hand through his hair. Eryn unfurled her head still bowed, she moved to a place she was now visible at least from the neck up. “I don’t know what to say, Kat was...” he trailed off, shaking his head. He pushed himself up off the bed and began to head for the door.  
“Stay" was all Eryn could manage, she said it so quietly, she was pleased that Taron heard her and stopped. Moving back to sit on the bed. Eryn rubbed her eyes; they were sore from crying and she knew she must look a mess. But her embarrassment was focussed upon what Taron had or hadn’t seen of her behaviour mid flashback.  
Neither spoke for a while, no one knowing what to say next. “Eryn” Taron began softly “ I know you and I don’t know each other that well , but I can see you’re in pain" he was looking at her with such sincerity, that Eryn again dropped her head, “ I would really like to give you a hug and talk if you want to? “Eryn looked up, a mixture of confusion, surprise and even relief flashed across her face, Taron thought. Wondering if he’d overstepped. But when she gave a small nod, he smiled. He moved over to where she sat at the top of the bed and ensuring he was not leaning, but against her leg, he wrapped his arms around and over hers, pulling her into the most welcome hug, Eryn ever experienced.  
It was all she could do not to burst into tears again, “I’m going to stay like this until you say to stop Eryn" Taron told her, Eryn’s head was spinning. So much had happened, her emotions seemed to switch so quickly her brain couldn’t keep up. At first, she tensed as Taron held her, still filled with all the emotions raging around, but the kindness in him telling her she could continue to be held as long as she needed meant finally, she gave in to the hug.  
It was as if she had waited her whole life for this one moment, held in Taron’s embrace, she finally felt everything that she had ever wanted to feel, everything she yearned for, needed and searched for. She couldn’t tell him the truth, that she never wanted him to let go. Knowing his arms must ache by now, she whispered “It’s okay, you can let go" it was impossible to say it louder and not want to scream “liar" at herself.  
As Taron moved away, Eryn smiled weakly “ Why did you do that?” she asked him returning the smile Taron replied “ Like I said you looked like you were in pain, I wanted to help” he shrugged “ I'm a hugger" he chuckled lightly.  
“So, do you want to tell me what happened? He said “All I saw was Kat chucking something and you run off, then Niamh and Meg were shouting about your sim card or phone?” Eryn searched Taron's face, he fascinated her, “ ok, if I am going be telling you all my troubles, you share yours with me" she had never met a man like him, genuinely caring and sensitive. She intended to make the most of this situation, now it was here. Taron thought for a while and agreed. “But you first" he moved back so he was leaning against the headboard and Eryn did the same.  
She began by explaining about the girl’s conversation and Taron looked sheepish when she mentioned his comment about Phil, Taron wasn’t surprised to hear about Kat trying to give Eryn a sim card, but was visibly shocked and angry when he heard what Kat had done. He apologised for her and they spent some time discussing why Kat did what she did, Taron was genuinely angry at his friend and Eryn was impressed that although he did tell her more about Kat and her personality, at no point did he excuse her. She watched him intently as he spoke, enthralled by how animated he was when he spoke, his eyelashes fluttering and the changes in facial expressions were mesmerising.  
“ So” said Taron after a while “ I know all about the beach, but what you haven’t said is anything about what happened back here” Eryn’s face became still and as she looked at Taron, she fought against the barriers she had created so well, something told her Taron could be trusted, but still her fear response was so strong. As if he could read her mind, he put his hand on her knee.” Ok what if I said I thought you were having some sort of memory or flashback “Eryn looked at him, questioning “What exactly did you hear” she asked.  
Taron sighed “Ok, one of the girls may have told me that you don’t remember much at about last night" he began now completely throwing Eryn. Baffled by how the two were connected he laughed lightly “ It’s a shame you don’t remember it, you told me quite a lot about why your here and you told me about having flashbacks from your Ex, that Phil guy" Taron moved uncomfortably in his position, clearly worried that he had embarrassed her.  
But Eryn smiled “You are easy to talk to" she said, “How much did I tell you?” dropping her head again. “Enough" he nodded “It’s safe I promise, my word on it" he said firmly placing his hand on his chest.  
“Who are you?” Eryn laughed, breaking the moment that had begun to develop as they sat just looking at each other. Taron burst into laughter “I’m just me" he said “Well I certainly never met any guy like you" she said a smile radiated from her.  
“Anyway, a deal is a deal... you know my story now spill" she said, watching as Taron rolled his eyes. “You mean why was I acting like a dick when I arrived at the beach" he said “I was going to say Knob, but same body part" she giggled. Something about her giggle made Taron’s stomach spin and the more time he spent with Eryn the worse his butterflies seemed to get, he had to stop finding more and more things about her so intoxicating. But still she really was beautiful.  
“Ok well you aren’t the only one with issues over Ex partners “he sighed. “well in my case not her, she’s well we don’t speak, but were ok. It’s people sending her bullshit about me causing trouble" he was getting angry and was visibly tense as he spoke. Eryn didn’t realise but Taron’s touchy-feely nature was rubbing off on her and she found herself taking his hand and squeezing it reassuringly as he continued to explain. Someone had seen Eryn and Taron on the Pier and took pictures of them. Eryn was confused “What were we doing in the pictures?” Taron’s looked uncomfortable again “Taron please what were we doing?” clearly Taron was not wanting to tell her. “We were having a good time" he tried “Omg Taron, Good time?? What do you mean Good time?” Eryn’s mind went crazy, “She looked at Taron panicked, and he realised he had to tell her “we were kissing” his breath stuck in his chest and he closed his eyes  
“Eryn we were making out, it was pretty... no very err hot and passionate and we may have had hands in certain places that ...” Eryn nodded she had gone bright red, but felt better when she saw Taron too was beetroot. In fact, seeing he was blushing so hard made her burst into fits of laughter “Oh my God" she laughed, Taron seeing her reaction, also burst into laughter relief rushing through him. “Fuck!” “So, I spent all morning dealing with that" he said “sorry I was rude" he swallowed hard.  
Eryn leaned over and hugged Taron, who returned the gesture. “You could have started with that... I wouldn’t have worried about talking to you about anything, if I’d known I had practically jumped you on a pier” she laughed “You jumped me?” Taron said cheekily raising his eyebrow “How do you know it wasn’t the other way round?” He smiled “Well which was it?” she asked “That my dear is for me to know and you to find out" he grinned.  
“Right I see how it is" Eryn was enjoying the banter and easy play between her and Taron. She felt so much better and was glad he had come after her. Taron too was relieved to now be able to relax everything, explained, well almost everything. He was going to let her keep thinking she had made that first move for a while. He would enjoy relating the full story of their night on the pier for another time. As they continued to laugh and joke into the evening, Eryn suggested Taron stay to hang out, watch a movie and get room service. It was an offer Taron was eager to accept.  
Turning the light off to watch the film, Taron felt Eryn’s head lean on his arm, lifting his arm Eryn found herself laid against Taron’s chest, his arm around her. She lost all focus on the film, her hand feeling his racing heartbeat, beneath her fingers, knowing it matched her own. “Shit" she breathed and she inhaled his scent “Shit, SHIT" Taron looked down “Did you say something?” he whispered Eryn shook her head (Inside your head think inside not out) she scolded herself, again.  



	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
Eryn’s eyes opened and her face screwed up as she saw the TV was buzzing, damn she thought I must have fallen asleep, she reached for the remote. But her hand most certainly was not on the remote, it was on something far warmer, softer and when she turned, she realized that she wasn’t the only one who fell asleep. She smiled and peered over the top of Taron’s body to the other side table for the remote. Spotting it on the edge. Half awake, she didn’t even think and leant over Taron to grab the remote. It was just a little, bit too far. I mean anyone viewing the scene could have predicted what happened next, but not Eryn she thought as she landed heavily on top of sleeping Taron. Eryn Cringed, as a rudely awaken Taron looked at her trying to work out what was happening, Eryn had frozen, she waved the remote at Taron, who squinted as the light from the TV hurt his eyes. Eryn clicked the button, plunging the room into darkness. Something she was grateful for as her face was hot and more than likely bright red, she dropped the remote back on the side table and started to remove herself from on top of Taron.  
She was halted, by the expression on Taron’s face and his firm hold on her waist, holding her body against his, she swallowed as the darkness faded and she was able to see Taron better. One of his hands, swiftly moved to her cheek and pulled her to his lips. She felt herself weaken under his touch and knew that she could do nothing. As their lips caressed each other, she felt his tongue and allowed herself to let go and enjoy him. He was somehow both soft and strong at the same time, his hand moved into her hair and she found the back of his neck quickly, her nails lightly scratching the nape, he hummed to her touch.  
It wasn’t long before the kisses became more intense, passionate. Eryn wondered again how far they had gone on the pier, how much of her body had Taron already explored and how much of his had she. More importantly, how far was he expecting her to go now, she was sober now, but the way he made her feel, she knew she would allow anything, in theory. Practice was another matter. She didn’t know how much Taron knew of what could happen. Had it happened on the pier?  
Her mind was becoming so overwhelmed that she hadn’t realised that Taron was now topless, and his soft hands were raising the hem of her top. She exhaled heavily, hoping that this, tonight, could be all that she wanted it to be. She just had to relax, clear her head, don’t let her… But it was too late, as her top was dropped on the floor and Taron made short work of her bra. It began, Flash! He was there again, his face was blank as always, but it was him. Eryn froze. Tensing up, she found herself pulling away from Taron as flash after flash hit her, image after image, Taron’s face became his and his hands, body all became a shadow of terror with a grin so evil, so penetrating that her whole body shook. Only his voice was different, tears ran down her face as she stared at Taron, his face was a picture of concern and confusion, not knowing what was happening. But knowing he had to help. He spoke softly, he could see that Eryn was struggling with him touching her so, he moved away, but tried to break through whatever was hurting her, controlling her mind.  
“Eryn, can you listen to my voice?” he asked “Eryn you are ok, it’s all ok, you’re safe” he tried to keep his voice soft not wanting to alarm her. Eryn was able to focus on the voice, it was safe, it offered a way out of things. She closed her eyes tight, tentatively she allowed her fingers to reach forward and touch Taron lips as he spoke, allowing the rhythm of his voice calm her. She could feel the images drop from her mind and her breath begin to slow, though she still shook, it was less and as her fingers trembled, she felt Taron’s take them and hold them steady.  
After some time, she realised she was back in the room, what happened hit her, and she crumbled into Taron’s arms in tears. As he held her and ran his fingers through her hair. Continuing to talk to her reassuring her. “I’m sorry” she repeated her voice cracking. “Eryn, its ok” came Taron’s reply “You have nothing to apologise for, I should be…” Eryn realised that Taron thought he had caused this, immediately she sat up and looked directly at Taron. “This… wasn’t you” she searched Taron’s face for recognition and acceptance of what she was saying “I... I’m the freak.” Eryn stuttered “Taron, I’m just broken, that’s all” she dropped her gaze.  
Taron felt it was now safe to pull her into a full embrace, without triggering her again and was sure to make sure he held her tight. He felt her body drop under him and knew she had allowed herself to let go. He didn’t know what had happened, but he knew he wanted to do something for Eryn, no one should suffer like she obviously was. “You know the rules” he said softly “I’ll stay here until you say, ok?” Eryn nodded “What if I never say so” she replied, bringing a smile to Taron’s face. “Then we stay like this forever Eryn” he said. Eryn felt her heart fill, with his words. How did he know just what to say and do? What she needed? “Taron?” said Eryn eventually “mmm” he answered “I have pins and needles; you can let go now” she smiled. Taron laughed and released his grip on Eryn, though instead he took her hand and held on to it, he could see how she responded to the smallest touch and knew it helped.  
“I owe you and explanation” Eryn said once, they had both found more comfortable positions and Eryn now lay against Taron’s right arm as he held her hand, both leant against the bed’s headboard. “You don’t owe me anything Eryn” he said sincerely “What did I tell you on the pier?” she asked. He told her that she had said she had some sort of mental health disorder, that meant that she felt emotion to a higher level than anyone else, it was great when emotions were good, but when bad things happened, they caused all sorts of trouble, she had also explained that it came about because of child abuse and trauma in childhood. Taron worded what he said in such a way that meant Eryn didn’t feel as though anything Taron had heard had caused him to want to run for the hills, which made her feel better about knowing she had blurted her entire life story and dramas to a complete stranger.  
However, Taron seemed to not be telling the whole story, he hadn’t said anything about Phil, which was weird, for her to have said so much about the rest of the things she was dealing with and not to have mentioned him, just made no sense. She had to ask, “Did I ... did I talk about Phil?” Taron nodded. “Not a lot, just that … well that he was a nasty prick” Eryn bit the inside of her mouth. She wanted Taron to know everything, she wasn’t sure why, but she hadn’t lied when she said he was easy to talk to, but it was more than that. “Damn it” she thought “This is not meant to happen”  
She swallowed hard and explained to Taron, that she had never told anyone, not a soul about her relationship with Phil Warrington. The next few hours, Eryn allowed it all to come flowing out, Taron listening intently and doing his best to keep his own emotions in check as he heard how this beautiful woman in front of him had been treated, he couldn’t understand men who acted like ‘Phil’ and he had to stop himself showing just how angry he was, for fear of scaring Eryn. It all became clear, why she had reacted the way she had, he found himself feeling proud of this woman, he barely knew. He wasn’t stupid either, he knew he was feeling things for her that he hadn’t felt for a very long time, she seemed to have found him, when he didn’t know he was lost.  
As she finished, she allowed Taron to pull her into yet another embrace, they lay together, under the duvet, the sun beginning to rise and the birds singing their dawn chorus. “You know Eryn, you are so strong, you should be so proud of yourself” he continued as he stroked her forehead “ You have been through so much and you’re still you are here, fighting all that its done to you” he sighed “I think you’re amazing” It wasn’t what Eryn expected, she wondered why, it was quickly becoming clear that Taron was not like anyone she had ever met before. She closed her eyes, “Who are you?” she asked again quietly he chuckled lightly “ Hang around and maybe you can get to know more” he said looking up at him she smiled back “ I may just do that”


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
Having barely slept, Eryn and Taron soon fell asleep missing breakfast entirely, it was early afternoon when Taron finally opened his eyes. He was laid on his side, Eryn curled into him, her blonde hair spread over his arm and covering little of her face, he found her soft, sleeping breaths comforting and as he took her in, he felt those familiar butterflies run amok inside him. Taron lightly moved the hair from the sleeping woman’s face and as it fell down her back, his eyes followed it. Down her bare shoulders and onto her pale skin. It was only now in the full day light, that he realised that in all the drama of the night before, neither had got dressed and he felt it voyeuristic to continue to look. Scouting the room, he found his t shirt and did his best not to wake her as he tucked it round, covering any exposed areas, she might be embarrassed he was seeing now. The last thing he wanted was to trigger her into another horrible episode.  
When Eryn woke, she was alone in bed, but as she moved to stretch, she realised she was wrapped in something, whatever it was smelt like Taron and she closed her eyes, breathing in the aroma. She unwrapped herself and realised it was his t-shirt. Her brow furrowed as she tried to work out how or why she had ended up wrapped in his t-shirt. She lifted the shirt and buried her face in the fabric. Falling back onto the mattress. She groaned and let out a sigh as she thought about the night before. Allowing her mind to indulge itself in the images of kissing Taron’s lips, the feel of his touch, everything had been just so amazing, until that bloody flashback.  
“Fucking Arsehole” she shouted into the room. “Not talking about me?” Taron said as he emerged from the bathroom, his hair was wet and dripped down his bare chest. Eryn started at the sight of him, her butterflies spinning in her stomach, as she took in the fact that he had only a towel, to cover his modesty. She felt herself blush and buried her head in his shirt again. “I thought you’d gone” came her muffled response. Lifting her head, she grinned “Oh and no I wasn’t talking about you” she said. “You talk to yourself a lot?” he asked running a comb through his hair and searching the room for his discarded clothing. He found his underwear and shorts, scrunching up the boxers, he tucked them into his pocket.  
Eryn watched intently, she couldn’t escape the fact that this man was ridiculously attractive and not only that, somehow, he had done the impossible. She felt lighter, whether it was talking to Taron or just being around him and in his energy, she was not sure and didn’t care. Feeling braver than usual, she held tight to the t-shirt “Erm Taron, I hope you are okay leaving here topless” she threw him her best coy expression. As he looked at her. Remembering how she had ended up with the tee. Raising an eyebrow, he stretched across the bed toward her, “I’ll have you know, I put that round you to protect your modesty, I was being a gentleman, but I need it back now” he crooked his finger at her, she shook her head, “you will have to come get it” she giggled holding the t-shirt flat against her chest. Taron swallowed, knowing that Eryn would be nude, if he went for the shirt.  
Taron enjoyed the flirtatious game, but he was hesitant. Eryn saw the anxiety in his eyes, and she pulled the duvet up behind the top. Taron coughed and began to crawl nearer. Grateful, that Eryn had understood his concern, without him speaking it. Taking the sleeve, he tugged at it as Eryn shook her head again grinning, “You think you’re stronger than me do you welsh Boi?” Eryn said throwing on her best welsh accent. Taron laughed “Oh, oh attacking my Welshness, never a good idea “he returned in his best South London accent. Wrestling with Eryn for the shirt, until he had her pinned down.  
He stopped, momentarily. “You’re scared, aren’t you?” Eryn asked “It’s ok” she said, letting go of the t-shirt and rolling over, getting off the bed. Taron did not know what to say, she was right. Not knowing what could cause another episode, frankly, had him on edge, but he didn’t want Eryn to think he didn’t enjoy her company, enjoy being with her, kissing her, touching her. He struggled to know how best to communicate it to her in this moment. He left it too long and Eryn, shut the bathroom door behind her, sitting on the toilet seat. She put her head in her hands.  
After a few minutes, she heard the main bedroom door shut. Grabbing a dressing robe off the back of the door, she wrapped it around herself and quickly poked her head out of the door, “Taron?” Eryn sighed again, “Great” she thought “Another one bites the dust”.  
Eryn spent the rest of the afternoon, having a bath and feeling inspired, pulled her laptop over to the window and with the sea in her peripheral vision, she found her fingers speeding over the keyboard. She was surprised at how creative she felt, it had been ages since it had been this free and easy to write. She was enthralled and excited by everything pouring from her brain. She decided that she needed caffeine to assist her, calling to room service for a proper cappuccino. She dove deep into her imagination as her music played out of her phone speaker. Lost in a world of her own, she did not hear the first knock.  
Getting up, her eyes refusing to detach from her screen, she pulled the door open, “thank you” she said absentmindedly turning to collect her coffee but greeted by a smiling Taron. “Your welcome?” he questioned “Shit, Taron I thought you were room service” she rolled her eyes, smiling broadly. “I am” he said beaming as he produced a tray with two cappuccino’s from behind his back. “I met the guy as he was about to knock” he said “But there are two, how did you” Eryn asked, Taron simply tapped his nose “Well budge will you this is heavy” Taron grimaced comedically as Eryn moved quickly out of the doorway.  
“What is it with you?” Eryn said “You keep popping up and surprising me, it’s very disconcerting” she scolded playfully, shutting the door and backing up to the table. But it was too late “What you are doing?” Taron said turning the laptop and beginning to read. Eryn sprang into action slamming the lid shut “Whoa” Taron was taken aback at her speed. “It’s errs private” Eryn bit her lip as her stomach did somersaults. Taron chuckled, “Secrets… hmmm” he said “I like a challenge” he chuckled taking her hand. “Eryn, I’m sorry I ran off earlier” he looked at her hand, turning it in his. Sitting on the chair at the desk, she turned to face him.  
“You are allowed to be freaked out” she said softly making him look up at her “I just” he started “You’re scared to trigger me” Eryn finished simply, and he nodded. “But Eryn, that doesn’t mean, well like I said, I like a challenge” he smiled and squeezed her hand “and I can learn what triggers you, maybe we could even work at destroying some of them?” he looked at her so earnestly. Eryn had had guys say this before, thinking they could fix her, make her ‘all better’ and she was about to tell him that she wasn’t a project for him to work on, when she was again taken by the softness in his eyes, it was as if she knew instantly that if anyone could help rid her of the chains she was wrapped in, maybe, just maybe it was Taron.  
Eryn decided in that moment, to ignore her fears, the voice telling her “it won’t do any good” and “You’ll get hurt” she moved closer and sat on his lap, much to his surprise. Putting her arms around his neck. He smiled “If you want me to of course” he said his voice cracking and exposing the extent of his emotion, clearing his throat. “You know Taron, something tells me that you and me together, might just manage that” she couldn’t help the grin expanding on her face as his did the same. Eryn was feeling braver than ever now and took the initiative, allowing her lips to ghost his. He stretched to reach her, his face begging to feel her lips. She gave him what he wanted and pressed her lips to his, feeling those now familiar tingles down her spine. His hand found her hair, the way it had previously, creating fireworks in her chest and she ran her nails up the nape of his neck, feeling the familiar reaction of pleasure from him and hearing a soft murmur escape him.  
Separating, they sat in a contented gaze for some time. Taron moving his hands to stroke Eryn’s lower back, as they shared smiles and an intimacy that made Taron feel lightheaded. “Oh shit” he said finally, “I forgot completely” laughing. “Come on, get your shoes and coat” he said gently pushing Eryn up. She looked at him confused “err. what are we?” she began “The reason I ran off wasn’t just because I was being a neurotic prick, I had a plan” he waggled his eyebrow with a cheeky smile. “Ok… so what shoes? Comfy? Pretty?” Eryn held up one of her converses and a blue ballet pump “Converse definitely and maybe some clothes” he laughed when he realised, she was still in her dressing robe. She looked down at herself and burst into laughter.  
“Ok” Taron said as they headed out of the hotel, holding her hand. “Firstly, we need to collect something from town” Eryn smiled as she held his hand, she hadn’t thought to label what this was with Taron, and loved that he felt comfortable with PDAs, just like she did. As they walked Taron, pointed out different places to Eryn, Starting with the typical tourist attractions, mixing short stories about his time living in the small town, he face lit up as he reminisced and she loved how animated he became, using his whole face and body.  
They stopped at a restaurant / deli in town and Taron left Eryn outside while he went in. She looked at her phone, realising that she hadn’t done so since Kat had thrown away her sim card, she didn’t even know if she still had all her stuff on it. She was so glad to see that she was able to download her data and apart from a few numbers that hadn’t been saved, she was relieved to see she hadn’t lost much. She did have to send a round robin text to let everyone know her new number though. She hovered over Phil’s number.  
“Delete him Eryn” Taron said, making her jump “Seriously, why keep his number, he hasn’t got yours now… he can’t get to you anymore” Taron said softly. Eryn knew he was right and without hesitating any longer she deleted his number. Visibly sighing heavily. Taron took her hand and squeezed “Nicely done” he said, kissing her on the cheek. “Right Ready for a bit of hard walking” he said. Eryn saw that Taron had a large picnic basket now, this being what he had collected from Medina, the deli.  
Reaching the top of the hill, Eryn was sweating and out of breath. “You weren’t joking about a hard work, were you?” she said, feeling the heat from her face. Taron on the other hand was barely sweating, “I guess I’m more used to it, I’ve been doing this every day in lockdown, you know to keep a routine going” he said as he put the basket down and took out a blanket, laying it on the grass in a secluded spot. Eryn stood staring out at the horizon, taking it all in. “It is worth it though; this view is gorgeous” she breathed.  
Taron wrapped his arms around her, her head leant back against his shoulder “It is gorgeous, view of Aber’s not bad either” he chuckled as Eryn groaned. Taking his hands as they lay around her waist. The couple stood letting the soft breeze ruffle their hair and the soothing scene take over. Eryn now losing the heat of the walk, shivered. “You cold?” Taron asked taking his hoodie off and putting in on Eryn, it was warm, and she smelt that familiar scent of Taron, that made her feel tingly and safe. “Won’t you be cold?” she asked “Nah, I’m a tough welsh man, me” he smirked turning to face him, she reached her arms up around his neck “You won’t need me to keep you warm then” She said lightly as he moved into to kiss her, he was beginning to love this feeling, love kissing her and allowed himself to wonder about a future”  
Shaking the thought, remembering she was here on holiday, she would be leaving in 4 days. “Come on, let’s sit down, I’m starving” he led her to the hamper and blanket, they sat and ate, chatted and enjoyed the sun setting over the ocean. As Goosebumps appeared on Taron’s arm, Eryn insisted they head back. Once back at the hotel, Taron stopped at Eryn’s door. “I should get the hamper back” he said distractedly, Eryn thought something was different about his manner and was disappointed that he was choosing not to stay with her again.  
She chided herself, just because she was finding it hard to be away from him, didn’t mean he felt the same, he also had a life beyond her. He wasn’t on holiday after all, he had other things to do, she reminded herself. He kissed her gently and promised to text her. Then he was gone.  
She sat down at her laptop, opening it and was grateful for auto save, having thankfully not lost her work. She stared out at the dark ocean, rippling and rolling onto the shore in the darkness. “4 days” she sighed. “how quick was this going”. When a she heard a knock on the door, she grinned pushing back her chair, she practically ran to open it, ready to throw herself into Taron’s arms.  
“Phil??” she stopped “What the hell are you doing here?” she gasped.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Taron felt awful, leaving Eryn the way he had, but he need time to think. He had been feeling increasingly overwhelmed by what he felt when he thought of her leaving in 4 days. He knew he needed time. It dawned on him as he sat in bed ,with the tv on in the background that despite the time they had spent together he knew very little about her life, he knew she lived near London, he knew nothing of her family, other than the mention of child abuse and trauma in her teens. He knew she was a writer, but again that was as much as he knew. He remained intrigued by what she had been writing, when she had shut her laptop and wondered why she felt she could share so much else.  
He thought about their time at ‘The hill’ and how she had let him waffle on about his life and dreams, she knew far more about him. But soon lockdown would lift, and life would resume its normal pace. It was clear Eryn needed someone, who could be there for her, in person far more than he knew his schedule normally allowed. He wanted to be that person, he knew given time and patience he could. But was it fair, to drag all his madness into her life on top of everything else?  
Then of course there was this ‘Phil’ character. Taron was sure that he wasn’t the type to allow Eryn to just leave, the number of messages she had had, showed that. It was all so complicated, messy. He still felt the wounds from his own break up. But then he pictured her face, her big, blue eyes, the way she fluttered her long eyelashes without knowing. The feeling he had when she was around, a feeling he had never had before even with his ex, and they had been together 7 years.  
He lay back, his hands behind his head. Things were so easy when he was with her, none of the complicated stuff seemed to matter. Was he just letting his neuroses get the better of him, like always? He picked up the phone and tapped out a text ‘Hope you’re ok, Today was amazing…’ then changed his mind deleting it, he pressed the call button. The phone rang and rang before going to voicemail “oh shit” he said “I hate these things, err Hi Eryn its Taron, listen I think maybe we need to talk, text me and let me know if I can come over, ok bye” he finished.  
Taron woke with the sun streaming in through the gap in the curtains, moving out of its range, he rubbed his eyes. Picking up the phone, he was surprised to see nothing from Eryn. “Great” he thought “Now look what you’ve done” he admonished himself for leaving things the way he had at the hotel. He should have just talked to her then. Now it looked like she was giving him the silent treatment. Taron decided that despite wanting to go back to sleep and avoid facing the day, he better gets up. He pulled on his running gear, grabbed his water bottle and filled it from the filter jug in the fridge.  
Plugging in his headphones, he set off, allowing the music to take him away elsewhere, somewhere where he did not have to think about Eryn. Accept everything seemed to make him think about her, every song lyric and every piece of music. He made his mind up, he would get showered and changed and head over to the hotel, whether she messaged or not.  
Arriving at the hotel a little while later, he headed to the lift. However, he was stopped by his friend Sonny, the waiter who had helped him organise the cappuccinos. “Taron” he called over, “You are looking for your lady?” he asked “yeah, I was just going to go up, why?” “She’s gone” Sonny replied, “Checked out last night, didn’t she tell you?” Taron felt his heart drop. He couldn’t process what he was being told “But she wasn’t leaving until Saturday” Taron stuttered confused and hurt. “Yeah, She left with some guy, about 11pm I think” Sonny continued “Sorry mate, think you lost out on that one” But Taron’s mind was now running crazy, “She left with a man?” he asked “What did he look like? Did you get his name at all?” Sonny thought for some time “He was… I don’t know about 5’8, skinny, brownish hair, I think she called him Phil” he finished.  
Taron ran his hand through his hair, he didn’t like the sound of this at all, but if she weren’t answering her phone what could he do? He thanked Sonny and was about to leave, when Sonny called after him “Hang on, she left her laptop behind, here you can get it to her can’t you?” he said. Taron could have kissed Sonny, “Omg, err yes I’ll get it to her, thanks” he took the laptop and ran back to the flat. The entire journey, he rang and rang Eryn’s mobile number, but it just went to voicemail. As he got into the flat, it dawned on him.  
What if he had just put her in danger? If ‘Phil’ were as bad as he thought, seeing Taron’s missed calls could be bad. “Shit” he thought. He paced up and down, trying to think what to do, while the laptop loaded, what would he do if it was password protected, he didn’t know, it was the only other access to Eryn he had.  
He tried not to think about what might be happening to Eryn, right now. But he instinctively knew, it was not a good sign that she had left with him.  
“Yes” Taron punched the air, as the laptop went straight to the desktop. “sorry Eryn” he said as he began searching for anything that might help him locate Eryn. He searched her emails and saw message after message with Phil Warrington in the sender box, each was a pleading essay, full of promises and regrets. Clearly, Phil did not expect anyone but Eryn to read them, so Phil wasn’t holding back or censoring himself.  
Taron found himself growing angrier with each email, apologies for slapping her, but it was her fault for wearing a green dress, he had told her was slutty. Complaints that she was always asking for money, Taron knew that Phil had insisted on a joint bank account, from which he only ever withdrew and never deposited anything into. He was getting no nearer locating her, when his luck changed, it mentioned a new address that Phil was now living at, it was in Paddington, London. Taron found a post it and wrote it down.  
Having read as much as he could take of Phil. He saw a few emails from what he assumed was Eryn’s work and one, caught his eye. It had been sent last night at 10pm. Before she left the hotel, clicking it open, he saw it was a submission. She had sent to her work. As he began to read, he realised it was a collection of poems, Eryn had written while she was in Aber. He forgot his urgent search for some minutes as he read. He shook himself out of his daze.  
“You’re a fucking idiot Taron” he told himself, the poems were of course about him and they were incredible, articulate and he knew now that he had been stupid, allowing himself to get caught up in all the what if’ and buts. He had to find Eryn and now. Looking for his car keys, he grabbed the post it and ran down to his car. Tapping the address into his Sat Nav. He set off for London. He had to fight the urge to call or text her, but continued to check his phone, in case she managed to message him.  
He had been on the road no more than half an hour when the phone rang. Private number flashed up on the screen, he grabbed it quick, pulling over to the side of the road “Hello” he answered “Hello, yes is this Taron” a professional sounding female voice spoke “Yes, it is” he replied tersely desperate to keep the line clear, “ Hi, I have been given your number to call by one of our patients, a Ms Eryn Riley” Taron’s heart leapt to his throat at the word ‘patient’ “ Omg Is Eryn ok, I mean where is she? I’ve been trying to find her” Taron babbled “ Taron, Its okay, she’s okay, she gave us your details as her next of kin” the lady on the other end continued, “She was brought into hospital just a short while ago” “ok Erm which hospital?” he asked “Bronglais my love” Taron felt some relief hearing she was in the local hospital. So, she hadn’t ended up back in London. “Ok I’m on my way now” Taron said quickly “Ok I’ll tell her, Taron drive carefully your girlfriend is in good hands, so don’t have yourself an accident” the nurse replied as he finished the call. He pulled an illegal u turn, stepping on the gas and heading back the way he had come, knowing the hospital well.  
Taron parked in the first spot he found and ran into the A & E department. He bounced on his feet impatiently as he queued at the desk. When he reached the desk and gave Eryn’s details, he was told to wait for someone to come and talk to him. He sat on the edge of the plastic seating. Biting his nails and tapping his foot.  
After what felt like hours, a nurse called him into a small room. “Hi Taron, I’m Mary I’m the lead nurse on duty” she introduced herself “Ok” he replied not sure what was happening and why he wasn’t being taken to Eryn. “Taron I just wanted to fill you in on what brought Eryn into A&E tonight ,I thought it best to do so in private” the nurses voice was calm, but Taron felt bad news was coming.  
“ Taron, Eryn has sustained some nasty injuries, it seems that she was attacked by an ex-partner” Mary looked at Taron for his reaction, But Taron looked at the floor, the words were swirling round his head “How badly hurt is she?” he asked swallowing hard “She is badly bruised, and has a number of lacerations to her arms, hands and face, Taron this is not going to be easy to hear, but I want you to know that the person responsible was arrested and taken into custody at the scene” The nurse allowed Taron time to process what she had said so far “Taron, Eryn has a couple of broken ribs and I’m sorry but she has sustained some vaginal damage, it appears that she has been sexually assaulted”  
It was too much for Taron to hear, tears ran down his face as he faced the floor and tried to cover his eyes. “It’s a lot to take in Taron, that’s why we wanted to tell you in here, do you want some water?” she asked. Taron coughed, wiping his eyes “No I want to see Eryn now please?” The nurse nodded “Of course” she stood up and led Taron past the cubicle to a side room, the door was shut and she knocked gently “Eryn it’s just me Mary, you have a visitor” the nurse said kindly standing back to let Taron enter.  
As he did, he tried not to look as shocked as he felt. Eryn was white as sheet, her eyes red and puffy, she was wearing a white paper boiler suit and was curled up on her side on the bed. Seeing Taron she burst into tears and he moved to hug her, he stopped before doing so “ Eryn can I hug you?” he asked “I don’t want to hurt you” His brow was furrowed and Eryn could see the pain in his eyes “Please” was all she could manage and Taron enveloped her in his arms, he kept it soft, so as not to put pressure on her wounds ”I’ll be right outside if you need me” said Mary “Once the doctors happy, you can probably go home in a while” she said.  
“Taron, I’m so glad you’re here” Eryn whimpered. He broke away from the hug and was able to take in her injuries. She dropped her head, ashamed. “What happened Eryn?” Taron took hold of one of Eryn’s hands, it was wrapped in bandages, as was her other hand and both forearms. Her forehead had a large white plaster and two small ones covered her right cheek. Her left eye was covered in dark angry bruising and was visibly swollen, her top lip cut and swollen too.  
“Can we talk about it later?” She answered. “ I just went through it all with the police and I don’t think I can..” she broke down and Taron immediately moved and lifted her gently to him as she sobbed into his chest, Taron too couldn’t hold back his own tears and for some time both simply held each other until the tears stopped. Taron rocked Eryn gently as she placed her head on his lap. Taron hummed quietly and soon Eryn was asleep.  
Taron shook his head, emotion ran through him guilt, why didn’t he stay with her? Anger at Phil, Frustration at himself for not being there, not being quicker, not protecting her. He knew now looking down at Eryn sleeping on him. He would do anything for her, he never wanted to be anywhere she wasn’t, and he was going to see that Phil paid for what he had done. One way or another. Eryn began to stir and jar in her sleep, Taron stroked her forehead and began to sing his favourite welsh lullabies. Watching her calm to his voice.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
With Eryn having checked out of her hotel, and Taron wanting to remain close to her always, he insisted she stay with him. They did not arrive until gone 4am. The drive from the hospital had been quiet, just the radio playing. Eryn sat in Taron’s hoodie and a pair of hospital scrubs; they’d given her on discharge. Her own clothes were now police evidence. She stared out of the window, watching the fields rush passed. She was glad that Taron was not insisting on filling the silence and found herself zoning out.  
When they pulled up to the apartment building, Taron’s phone rang. Eryn shot him a fearful look as is vibrated. Taron placed his hand on hers, wishing she could feel his skin through her bandaged hands, Eryn was at least comforted when she heard Taron’s voice was calm. But she couldn’t help herself looking around constantly, like a frightened animal, she searched for any signs of danger.  
Taron took her bag from the back seat and through the strap over his shoulder as his completed the conversation. He opened Eryn’s door and helped her to stand, it was clear that she was still in a great deal of pain and movement was extremely difficult “I still think you should have stayed in hospital a bit longer Eryn” Taron said, as he took her weight, while she walked gingerly. Behind them a neighbour walking his dog, caused Eryn to cringe and withdraw. “It’s okay, come on let’s get inside” Taron wasn’t used to seeing Eryn like this, this was a fear like no other he had experience. It was if she expected Phil to appear at any second to finish what he had started.  
He was relieved to shut the door and stopped to show her that he was locking all three of the lock systems on the front door. He was pleased to see her relax a little, it was going to take some work to ensure he restored her sense of safety that was for sure. He put her bag in the second bedroom as she slowly walked around the apartment.  
She walked to the balcony and looked out over Aberystwyth. Hearing the ocean in the distance, she closed her eyes. Allowing herself to finally acknowledge that she was still here, and she wasn’t alone. Taron wanted to wrap his arms around her, as he looked at her from a distance. Her arms were crossed in from of her, hugging the hoodie he had given her to wear, but knew wouldn’t be taking back. Her normally sleek blond hair, was curled and frizzy. He saw red streaking it in places and fell anger burn in his chest, when he realised it was blood.  
“Eryn?” Taron spoke softly not wanting to startle her. She turned to him and walked over. Taron showed her the spare room, it had a double bed and side table in the corner was an old nursing rocking chair, with a bunch of soft toys and blankets on it. “Oh, there for the girls, for Mari and Rosie” he smiled seeing her look. “ They are too old really now, but they loved that chair and when my mam said she was going to sell it, I took it off her, they still love it when they stay over” he smiled and Eryn was able to smile too, seeing the light in his eyes as he spoke of his family, his sisters in particular made her feel warm.  
“Ok, so your bags there, and I will grab some towels in case you want to use the bathroom, that’s opposite, my rooms right next door if you need me” he let his fingers graze Eryn’s lightly. He wished she would speak, say anything, she hadn’t said a word since they had cried together at the hospital and he was getting concerned. He could gauge things fairly well from her facial expression and body language. But he didn’t know why she had stopped talking.  
He left her to it and went to get the towels as promised. As he went into the front room, his phone rang. It was his Mam, and he took the phone into his room. He would be glad to talk to her, he needed help with this, it was too much on his own.  
Eryn felt as if she was in a movie, as if she were watching herself. She collected her bag and tipped the contents on the bed, looking for her laptop, her phone had also been taken as evidence and she had no way to let anyone know what had happened, not that she wanted to. But there was no way she would be back to work on Monday and she at least had to let them know.  
Great she thought as she sat on the edge of the bed, no laptop. She looked around the small room, walking over to the rocking chair. She picked up each toy in turn, smiling and imagining Taron and his sisters playing with each, moving them and placing them gently on the floor, she sat in the chair. Wrapping a blanket around her, she moved slowly, picking up the biggest teddy bear of the bunch, she held it tight against her and closed her eyes, enjoying the movement.  
She felt herself drifting off to sleep and without thinking she lifted her right hand and began sucking her thumb. Something she rarely let others know about. Thumb sucking as an adult was ridiculous after all. But right now, she didn’t care. She wanted to be babied, feel safe the way you do as a child before life kicks you down.  
Taron opened the door, but seeing Eryn was asleep in the rocking chair. He quietly lay the towels on the end of the bed and moved to leave. He chuckled when he saw her sucking her thumb and hugging his favourite teddy. He would let her into his secret about ‘Charlie Bear’ later. For now, he was happy he was giving her comfort.  
He shut the door as the front door knocked. Looking through the peep whole he saw two female police officers. The officers introduced themselves as the specialist officers in charge of the case against Phil Warrington. Taron showed them to the front room, explaining that Eryn was sleeping having only just got home. The officers were insistent that they speak with her, but wanted to talk to Taron first, to find out what he knew about what had happened and take a statement.  
It took longer than Taron imagined getting through it all and he was finally asked to sign the tablet. He had barely slept and was exhausted, physically and mentally. He was about to suggest that the officers come back later, when Eryn emerged from the bedroom.  
“Hi Eryn, Do you remember me?” the first officer began “I’m DS Patricia Owen and I’m in charge of your case, we spoke at the hospital” Eryn nodded and walked to sit next to Taron on the sofa, she took his hand as she sat and he squeezed lightly. “This is Mel, she’s from victim support” Pc Owen introduced a sandy haired lady, with a warm personality. She explained that her role was to support her throughout, to explain anything that she didn’t understand and to help prepare her for anything that she may have to do.  
Throughout Eryn simply nodded or shook her head. Taron’s heart broke for her, as he watched her taking all of the information in, he was aware of how wide her eyes were, how much they flickered around the room and avoided making eye contact. He continued to hold her hand, and when she visibly tensed, he moved his arm around her, pulling her slightly into his body.  
The officers explained that they would be coming back at 9am the next day to take her to the SOCO suite, where her full statement would be videoed. They thanked her and Taron saw them out. Making sure to lock all the locks. Taron wandered back over to Eryn, “Can I hug you Eryn? Please” Taron asked his voice wobbled as she reached for him putting her arms around his neck, despite the pain. She was so glad he had asked because it was exactly what she wanted right now.  
“I don’t want to hurt you” he said looking into her eyes for the first time. She reached up a hand and stroked his furrowed brow, pretending to try and soften it. Taron smiled “What?” She swallowed “Stop” she whispered barely audible. Taron’s shoulders dropped in relief at the sound of her voice. “Stop?” he asked. She nodded “You couldn’t have done anything” she said looking deeply into his eyes. “How is it you always know what I’m thinking?” he replied gulping, tears forming in his eyes. Eryn wiped them. As Taron took in the injuries to her face. Feeling that anger again.  
Seeing his face change, she could stop the reaction. Pulling away she dropped her head. Her hands trembled. Taron instantly understood and lifted her head gently “ssh … it’s okay, it’s okay” he gasped “I’m sorry Eryn, it’s just when I think about what he did.. I” Seeing his pain, Eryn didn’t think, she pulled him back into her arms and buried her head in his chest. “Please Taron, don’t let him do this to you, please” she sobbed as he rocked her. “Ok Eryn, its ok”  
It took a lot of coaxing, but Eryn finally agreed to a bath. She felt safe in Taron’s hoodie, it was warm and safe, and she could disappear inside. But even she had to admit that, it was time. Taron ran it, adding some Epsom salts he used for times when his training and work on set took its toll. He laid her towels on the toilet and left her too it.  
After a while, he went to check on her. Knocking gently on the door, he saw it was ajar. Through the gap he could see Eryn was sat on the floor next to the bath, her arms wrapped around her knee, the hood pulled up she had her head hidden in her chest. “Eryn?” he called “I’m coming in ok?” he pushed the door further open and closed it behind him.  
Kneeling in front of her, he lowered the hoodie. “Eryn” he tried “I can’t” she mumbled through her clothing. “ok how about we do this one step at a time” Taron said, and Eryn raised her head. “He smiled gently” “That’s better to start with” Eryn’s eyes flicked to the open door as Taron’s followed “Shall I lock it?” he asked reading her thoughts. He did so as Eryn uncurled.  
“Right, I am going to make sure you get this back, but this hoodie is coming off ok?” he said adding a lightness to try and raise the tension. It worked and Eryn raised her arms as far as she could manage, so that Taron could help take the hoodie off. “Ok Eryn, listen you are going to have to take everything off and I want you to know.” Eryn cut him off “She nodded telling Taron all he needed to know. “Okay if you feel at all uncomfortable, tell me ok? He said “And we will stop, and I will go ok” he gently removed her socks and gently lifted the scrub top over her head “I’ll tell you if it’s too much Taron” Eryn said louder this time. She trusted Taron like no one else and right now she felt entirely safe, knowing he would do nothing to hurt her. Despite his feelings for her, right now his focus was on helping her. He was always respectful and ensured to keep his eyes on Eryn’s face. Even as hey removed the last of her clothing and helped her to step into the water, once she was sat down he added more hot water, the water having lost its heat while Eryn had been sat on the floor.  
Eryn let the water run over her beaten body, it stung some of her wounds at first, but it feels good. She lay back allowing the water to cover her hair and closed her eyes. Taron was pleased to see her relaxing finally, losing the fear in her face. She had to be careful of the facial injuries and had replacement dressings. Taron wasn’t sure about removing them, but there was a lot of visible blood and he knew they would risk infection if he didn’t so, as Eryn braced herself he did his best to take them off without causing her more pain.  
With the dressings removed, Eryn’s face looked shocking. Taron had to use all his acting skills, to stop the emotion showing on his own face. He took her head in his hand and with the other gently allowed the water to run over the wounds washing away the older, dried blood revealing the bruising underneath. Eryn hadn’t seen her reflection, but she knew it must be pretty bad. She tried to give Taron a reassuring smile, to tell him it looked worse than it felt.  
Taron began on her hair, washing it with his own shampoo, that Eryn grimaced at “Are you going to wreck my hair?” she asked feeling able to be little more playful with him. “No, this is no cheap rubbish, its proper high end” he replied. But I don’t use conditioner so”. “There should be some in my bag” Eryn offered, but she felt her stomach drop, it was crazy. He only had to go into her room and grab a bottle, but it meant leaving her, naked, alone and unlocking the door, that kept her safe. “Leave it for now” she mumbled “I can just get it Eryn” Taron said getting up, but Eryn grabbed his wrist hard, shaking her head.  
Taron sat back on the floor next to the bath, “ok …ok” he smiled. Looking at her, he took her hand from his wrist. “We can leave it” He rinsed her hair ensuring all the blood was cleared away. “Taron... I” Eryn started “I think you should turn around” she stuttered Taron looked confused. “I need to ... clean between my legs” She managed awkwardly.  
Taron’s heart dropped again, he had tried to avoid thinking about it, but the reality was that Eryn had been damaged by Phil’s assault and it wasn’t all about punched and cuts. He had gone further, exploiting her in the worst way. Taking something that ought to be beautiful and infecting it with his toxicity. He swallowed hard, nodding her turned to face the wall and was glad for the opportunity to compose himself as tears of anger and sadness ran down his cheeks.  
Eryn cleaned herself up as best as she could. Resting her hand on Taron’s shoulder to tell him she was done. As he turned back around, he avoided her eyes and collected the towel for her, he held it up and looked away. She could see his eyes were red and knew Taron was struggling to deal with what had happened to her. She couldn’t think how he was even getting through what he had done so far, she wasn’t sure she’d be so good, if one of her friends had gone through this, never mind. No, she wasn’t going to go there, she knew how she felt about Taron and had yearned to tell him. Before all this, she thought she was getting the same idea from Taron. But this, all this… Who knew?  
Eryn managed to get herself ready on her own, giving Taron space. She emerged from her room and made herself comfortable on his sofa, taking the remote. “Feeling better?” Taron asked, he was secretly pleased to see a little of her spark returning. “Lots” she replied, “What is this crap you’re watching?” she said jesting and chose a documentary on the holocaust. “Wow choose something light hearted Eryn, why don’t you?” he laughed seeing her choice. “Hey its educational, anyway makes you grateful for what you have” she sighed Taron bent over the side of the sofa and kissed Eryn on the cheek “ouch” she pretended, smiling “Really??” Taron chuckled lightly. But he was glad to see her smile. He knew tomorrow was another touch day, but he was going to make sure tonight was relaxing and the more of those smiles he managed to get from her the better,


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
“Ok Eryn” DS Owen began explaining about the hidden cameras. She was sat in what could be anyone’s living room. The décor was dated 90’s paper and the chairs were clearly donated, but there was a coffee table with tissues and a large vase of fabric flowers. A bottle of water was put in front of Eryn and she opened it sipping the cool water, trying to steady the tremble in her hand. If only Taron could have been here too, holding her hand she thought. But it wasn’t allowed. He had to remain in the waiting area.  
After a short time, he told the reception worker that he was going for a cigarette. He couldn’t just sit there knowing Eryn would be going over her trauma, without his support. It had been explained to him, why he wasn’t allowed to be present, but it still pissed him off. Instead he leant against the bonnet of his car and chain smoked while taking calls from his friends, and family. The situation had of course gone viral on the Aber hotline and it was now the stuff of local gossip. He knew that his celeb status hadn’t helped and was waiting to hear back from Lyndsay his publicist. It wouldn’t take long, for the nationals to pick up the story.  
Covid 19 again poking its ugly head into things, making news stories of the celebs all but disappear unless you were on social media. He wanted to know what was going out and when, He knew he had no control over the content, but he would be damned if he wasn’t going to at least try and shield Eryn from the worst of it and prepare her for the rest. This he thought, this wasn’t fair. Again, he thought about the way his career choice had an impact on the rest of his life and anyone connected to him.  
“Ok Eryn, how about you start at the beginning of the night and if I need to stop you and clarify I will” DS Owen said kindly “You are in control of this Eryn, you say when we stop and for how long ok” she continued and Eryn nodded. “Don’t feel like you have to distress yourself, take your time”. “Before we start, I want to let you know that as of 6pm yesterday Phillip Warrington was bailed, the conditions of his bail are that he is not to come within 100 yards of you, your family and friends, he is entirely banned from the town of Aberystwyth and an officer has confirmed that he signed his bail document this morning in Camden, city of London. He has to sign this daily at the same location”  
“Eryn inhaled sharply hearing that Phil was out and free, so what if he was told to stay away, what was that going to do??” She could feel panic over taking and Mel from victim support was quick to step in. “Eryn I know it’s scary, hearing that he’s not in custody, but I can tell you that, we are going to speak after this about how we are going to keep you safe ok” Soothed Mel, she ensured she was making direct eye contact and her voice was reassuring. “Eryn I have worked on many cases, I’ve been with victim support for 23 years and we have a comprehensive and wide variety of ways to keep you safe, he is not going to get anywhere near you, ok” she finished.  
Eryn wanted to run, just get out of here, forget all about police and getting Phil locked up. Hadn’t she been through enough? Now she had to keep going over it and keep remembering, keep seeing it all over and over. The ladies were kind enough, but she just wanted to curl up and disappear. “I need to have some air” she said getting up and running out of the room, she nearly cried out when she found the waiting area empty. But thankfully Taron was just coming back into the building and saw her a look of devastation on her face, she ran to him and she to him, burying her head in his neck “I thought you’d gone” she cried. Gripping his t-shirt so tightly her hands were white.  
“I just went for fag, babe I am so sorry, are you done already?” He asked surprised it had been so quick. He looked like Ds Owen and Mel came out of the room and up to them. “I can’t Taron, please take me home, I want to go” She begged “Eryn its ok, of course come on we ‘re going home” he held her tight. Shaking his head at DS Owen, who nodded. “Eryn would it be okay if I called you later on, maybe I could come over and go through what we talked about, to keep you safe?” Mel asked Eryn nodded. “Ok Eryn” said DS Owen.  
Taron led Eryn back to the car, he was taken back as Eryn reached into his pocket and took his cigarettes and lighter, lighting one and taking a long drag. She closed her eyes as the smoke drifted out on her exhale. Taron took her hand and pulled her back into hug “so when did you smoke?” he asked, “Sorry, I’ll get you another pack” she replied as she continued to pull on the cigarette. Taron let her go a little. “Are you ok?” he said admonishing himself “I mean, I know you’re not ok, but... what happened in there?” he asked “You were barely in there for 10 minutes” he continued. “He’s out, isn’t he?” She spat finishing the cigarette, she dropped it and used her foot to squash it into the stones. “What the fuck? what do you mean out? “shouted Taron, before realising and lowering his voice. “I mean where?” Eryn explained what she had been told inside, including how she felt about their protection. “Right, come on let’s get back to the flat and I’m going to sort this out” Taron said firmly, and Eryn got into the passenger seat. Taron felt a lump in his throat, every time Eryn winced when she had to sit. It was a constant reminder of what Phil had done and it infuriated him.  
But before they could get to the safety of the flat, Taron got a text from Lyndsay, the subject box said in capital letters. DO NOT GO HOME! “Fucking hell, what now” He huffed. Pulling the car into a layby Eryn looked at Taron, worried as he took his phone and got out of the car, slamming the door. She watched him shouting and gesticulating at the phone. Eryn shook her head, she needed Taron so much, he was so amazing, and she couldn’t imagine anyone else supporting her through what had happened. But it came back to her, that this was a man she met less than a week ago. What right did she have to bring her baggage into his life, he looked so distressed? His face was contorted with rage and he was red with frustration.  
Ending the call, she heard him shout and kicked the car wheel. He stopped and composed himself. He didn’t want to drive angry; it wouldn’t be safe. But even more he didn’t want to scare Eryn, he’d seen her reaction last time he’d been angry, and he knew it triggered memories of Phil. He got back into the car exhaled loudly. “Eryn I am so sorry” he said dropping his head into his hands, he looked ahead running his hand over his jaw thinking.  
“Right, that was Lyndsay my publicist. Eryn the national newspapers are camped out at the flat right now, they have been tipped off about what happened and fucking hell” he stopped, shaking his head. Eryn leaned as far over as she could and took hold of his cheek, looking into his eyes, he looked like he had the world on his shoulders. “Maybe it’s time I went home” she said quietly.  
“What?” Taron shouted “Sorry” he stuttered “I didn’t mean to shout, but I don’t understand” his brow was furrowed the way it had the night of her flashback. “If I go back to London, then the press can chase the story as much as they like, but what story is there?” “Taron, this is crazy, I’m dragging you into all my drama and I hate it, you deserve. more than this” She struggled get her words out as tears welled in her eyes. The idea of leaving physically hurt now more than anything Phil had done to her.  
“The press is my fault Eryn, not yours. That’s you being dragged into my crazy” Taron returned. “Ok yes, it’s been less than a week since I met you, but it feels like you have always been here, like you are meant to be here, I want you to be here” Taron could hear the emotion in his voice and tried to hold it in. As they sat in silence. Taron pulled out his cigarettes and lit one, handing it to Eryn and lit the other for himself. He didn’t usually smoke in the car, but he didn’t car now. Eryn Sighed “ So what are we going to do?” she said “Right now, Lyndsay is going to contact the police and get the paps moved on, she’ll ring when it’s all clear, that doesn’t mean they will definitely get them all, we could still get pictured” he sighed. “ok, well so fucking what? “she turned to Taron  
“They know what happened right? Some arseholes given them the details and so what’s wrong with you looking out for me? She continued “Taron is a fucking photo! Taron couldn’t help but laugh. He looked at the cigarette “What’s in these?” he joked, and Eryn hit him on the shoulder “Twat” he smiled. “You don’t know what kind of crap they could write though Eryn?” Taron began. “Taron, you think a bunch of bullshit from the press, is worse than all this shit” she looked at Taron, running her hand along his jaw. “Fuck em” she smiled properly for the first time since Phil appeared at her door.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
Taron was impressed by Eryn’s attitude to the press, he was getting to know just how strong and forthright Eryn could be. Despite all that had happened in such a short space of time, but Eryn seemed so fired up as she spoke, he knew her spark had returned. And he was right, when Mel Kayman visited that afternoon, Eryn was adamant that she was not going to hide away or stop doing what she normally did. She was accepting of a panic button being installed in the flat, but only after Taron tried to convince her that he would find it useful himself for rogue paparazzi made her laugh. She took a personal alarm and was given a direct dial number for emergencies. She was given a form to log any and all incidents that may or may not be related and after some long discussion, agreed to try again with the interview. She knew that Phil needed stopping and was convinced when Mel spoke about the statistics on re offence.  
They talked at length about how bail worked, and she felt more comfortable about the chance of Phil getting near to her. She was extra impressed that if he entered Wales, he would be flagged by the toll. “Good old Wales” Eryn smiled at Taron who winked “Don’t take any bullshit from the English us” he grinned. Eryn was so glad to have Taron sat next to her, he gave her the strength she needed, with his quick wit, he broke any tension and his small physical intimacies she had felt able to do anything the world threw at her.  
After she had gone, she sat on the sofa and exhaled. Her face was sore, as the wounds healed her face felt tight and itchy. She got up and headed off to her room to change into her nightwear, Taron knocked gently as she began to brush her hair, “Yeah” he came in with tow steaming mugs “Thought you might need this” he said as he handed her a coffee. Sitting on the bed, he picked up the bear that now seemed to be keeping Eryn company. “I see Charlie has charmed you too, he’s actually mine” Taron reddened a little. “Oh really” Said Eryn taking the bear from him, “He’s worn well, you must have taken very good care of him” She held Charlie to her chest and hugged him. “Well he isn’t that old” he admitted “He was a gift from my Mam” he chuckled “She bought him when she found out she was pregnant with Rosie” he looked a little embarrassed. Eryn sat next to Taron as he continued “ You know, so I didn’t feel jealous” he smiled “Taron, that’s so thoughtful” Eryn could see how much his mam meant to him, she wished that she had such a good relationship with her own and she handed the bear to Taron. He shook his head “He’s good company” He said. “So are you Taron, I don’t think I have even said thank you” she dropped her head and he took her hand in his as she laid her head on his shoulder. “Nothing to thank me for Eryn” he sighed. Eryn moved over and laid on the bed, Taron moved too and joined her opening his armour for her, she curled into him. “God knows what would have happened if… you hadn’t been around when…” she trailed off.  
“well, I am. So, no need to even go there” he said, and she smiled weakly. They lay in silence for a while. Taron stroking Eryn’s arm and humming under his breath. “louder” Eryn complained playfully. Taron didn’t need to be asked twice and increased the volume mixing show tunes, classic sixties tunes and a couple of welsh hymns. “I could listen to you forever” she smiled, “you can join in your know” he laughed “I don’t know the welsh” she grinned. She drew circles on his chest and slowly, quietly she began to sing. As she got into it, her confidence grew and she was able to sing at the same volume as Taron, enjoying herself more than she expected.  
“You can sing” Taron told her, causing her face to redden. “Come on, has no one ever told you that” he asked “To be honest, Taron I seem to fill my life with people who are bad on the compliments front” she sighed. “Growing up, it was insult and one put down after another, it was almost like a family thing, meant to be ‘our’ comedy and if you complained then you either didn’t get their humour or you were over sensitive” she shook her head. Taron lifted her head and stared at her “Well, you are beautiful Eryn and intelligent” he said placing a kiss on her lips “Funny” he said kissing her again. Eryn felt herself melting into him, becoming lost in her eyes. “brave” he smiled as she leant in, her lips meeting his.  
She felt safe in his arms as his pulled her close. “Taron” she breathed as they parted. “Mmm” he answered opening his eyes. “I … feel like …” She stumbled over her words as he looked at her intently, he always paid incredible attention to her face, when she spoke. Right now, she wished he wouldn’t. “You make me feel so… I ... god “she stuttered. Taron smiled “Eryn, it ok” She shook her head “No, I’m a bloody writer, for god’s sakes, words are my thing” She sat up. “Thing is Taron, when I am around you, the world spins and everything just goes crazy in my head” she asserted. Taron opened his mouth to speak. Eryn put her fingers on his mouth.  
“Taron if I don’t say this now, I don’t think I will be able to again..” she said as he nodded, “ Taron that first night, in the bar feels so long ago, I feel like I’ve known you all my life, and I don’t ever want you to ever not be in my life” she smiled at him “Oh for fucks sake” she cried, running her hand through her hair “ Taron.. I love you” she declared her heart was beating so fast she thought it would burst from her chest. Taron placed his hand on her cheek, “I love you too Eryn... I agree it’s crazy and quick, but I’ve been thinking the same thing” he said grinning “ I fully intend on getting to know you properly now I have you to myself, I realised I don’t know any of the normal stuff about you” he smiled, he looked into her eyes and they sparkled as she beamed at him “Well, kiss me then” Eryn said, making him laugh “ And I will tell you whatever you want to know” He took the back of her head in his hand and planted a firm kiss on her lips, his fingers massaging her scalp.  



	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10  
The Interview was hard going, Eryn had to take several breaks. Taron keeping his promise and staying in the waiting area this time, helped. She would emerge from the room, her eyes red and swollen, falling into his arms. For the time she remained there he recharged her enough to return and continue. The interview began with recounting the recent incident, but as DS Owen teased the information from Eryn, it became clear that a longer history of behaviour had been present that needed recording and detailing. In fact, PC Owen was more than sure that other offences had occurred that she would be adding to the charge sheet.  
Finally, late in the evening and after a full day of talking. Eryn and Taron got back to the flat. Eryn of course was completely exhausted and dropped on to the sofa, curling into a protective ball. Taron sat beside her on the floor. “Today’s been rough, but it’s done” he said stroking her cheek. She nodded. “Well I am thinking pizza and beer” he said tired himself. It was ridiculous how sat doing very little was so knackering. Eryn smiled “Telly?” he asked as Eryn scrunched up her face “Alexa play power ballads?” Taron called out to his echo device. Eryn grinned “How do you do that? Read my mind” Taron got up and grabbed the pizza menu, though he knew what he was ordering. “Ham and pineapple and some cookie dough yeah?” he asked smiling widely “Ok now you’re just showing off” Eryn laughed, ruffling Taron’s gelled up fringe. He batted her hands away playfully “He don’t mess with the do!” he complained, this of course had Eryn simply rub her hands all through his hair pulling leaving him look like a hedgehog. He pouted, “Great, ruin my reputation as a heartthrob why don’t you” trying to flatten it back down “Come here, I can sort it out” Eryn groaned a little. But enjoyed playing with his hair, Taron too closed his eyes and indulged in the pleasure.  
The Pizza now ordered, and beers sat on the coffee table, Taron and Eryn listen and sang along as the music played. Now both laying on the sofa, Taron being the big spoon as Eryn wiggled her bum into him. The knock on the door breaking up their cwtch. Taron stretched, but Eryn was up off the sofa first. She wandered to the door and unlocking the locks, pulled it open. But there was no one at the door, instead an enormous bunch of flowers sat on the floor. Eryn grinned picking them up, they were lilies her favourite. She shut the door, making sure to lock the door. Eryn saw a little card and pulled it out, reading it. Her smile faded and the flowers crashed to the floor along with the card. Eryn ran to her room shutting the door behind her, she sat with her back against it.  
Jumping up Taron, ran to where the flowers and card lay on the floor. Picking up the card he read the words “White Lilies for death all my love PIP xxx” he read. “Fuck! What!” Taron growled moving to the door, he pulled at the locks, in his haste he struggled and managed to calm enough to get them open. Flinging the door open he ran down the hallway and began looking all around him, he did not wait for the lift instead ran down the fire exit stairs and ended up outside. He continued to run around the building, looking for whoever was the delivery person. He found nothing and in his desperation he suddenly realised he had no idea what Phillip even looked like, he had no way of recognising if it had been him, if he had sent a delivery guy or he thought as he walked back into the build a ruse by the press to get him out of the building and looking pissed off. He Ran his hand over forehead “Fuck” he repeated as he ran back upstairs.  
“Shit” he thought, in his hurry he had left Eryn alone and the door open. He ran as fast as possible to the flat and was relieved to find nothing different, he checked all the rooms, but it was clear no one had been in as far as he could tell. He locked back up and picked up his phone dialling DS Owen. He explained everything and despite assuring Taron that she had it all noted down and that someone would be coming to collect the flowers and card, she made sure Taron did not move anything. He was irked that more wasn’t being done. He fired a quick text to his management requesting additional security and finally he was able to move to Eryn’s door.  
He tried the handle and quickly realised that she was sat blocking the door. “Eryn?” he tried “It’s ok, listen let me in please?” he heard movement and the door opened. Eryn moved forward and Taron enveloped her in a hug. “It’s okay, he’s not here, and even if he were, which I have checked ok, he wouldn’t get within a mile of you” he said he hoped reassuringly. “It was the shock, you know” she said quietly as they sat on the bed. The door knocked again making both Eryn and Taron jump. “I will go” Taron said firmly. Checking the spy hole, he exhaled when he saw it was just the pizza. Taking it in he quickly tipped the driver and returned the locks.  
Eryn was curled up facing the wall when Taron re-entered the room. He climbed on the bed behind her. He was aware as soon as he did that, she had gone into a panic attack. Taron took a deep breath, pressing his chest to her back, he tried his best to breathe calmly and regularly, holding her around the waste. He spoke to her gently and using a technique he had read, he began to ask her to visualise the things he was saying, he talked about the view from constitution hill. Describing it in detail, not just the way things looked, he incorporated all her senses, bringing it to life and Eryn’s mind clicked into action images of their picnic came into her mind, a smile forming on her lips as the sensations ran through her body, her breathing slowed and the trembling and rocking motion she had at the start stopped. She placed her hands-on Taron’s still on her waist.  
Turning into him, she kissed him. Every bit of her gratitude was in the kiss, as she stroked behind Taron’s left ear letting her fingers play with his ear lobe. Taron was calmer too; he was still angry. But having had to use the technique with Eryn, he too felt calmer. He enjoyed the feel of Eryn’s fingers and though he had not said so, felt that she too had a real instinct for knowing just what to say and do for him. As they ended the kiss. He looked into her eyes, there was still pain in her eyes. “Do you know how proud I am of you Eryn?” Taron smiled. Slowly Eryn smiled too questioningly “Proud?... Of what?” “You” he shook his head “You are dealing with all this shit and I don’t know Eryn, I just think you should be proud of yourself for getting through it all” He was getting emotional now “Eryn just from the little you have told me about growing up and your family and everything, is enough to seriously damage a person, and on top of it all this fucking cunt comes along and..” Taron buried his head in the mattress as tears began to escape.  
It was Eryn’s turn to wrap her arms around Taron, He lifted his head “Sorry” he wiped his eyes. As Eryn laid her head on his shoulder, shaking his head. “Never be sorry for showing emotion Taron” she said snuggling her head into his neck as he laid his hand on top. “who was at the door?” Eryn suddenly said making Taron laugh “The pizza” he chuckled. “So, what are we doing here, when ether is pizza and beer waiting in the other room?” Eryn declared grabbing Taron’s hand and pulling him up off the bed. As they walked out of the bedroom, they came face to face with the flowers. Eryn stepped over them and ignored them and Taron followed her lead “Better clear them up Taron” she said “Not allowed, CSI are coming to get them” He explained Eryn was surprised “Really?. Wow” she said, “Welsh Police are good, don’t think the Met would have bothered” she continued as she bit into her slice of pizza, it was a bit cold, but she wasn’t fussed. “Everything is better in Wales babe; didn’t you know that” Taron quipped. She kissed his cheek “Certainly is Welsh Boi” she laughed as she left pizza sauce on his cheek.  



	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11  
That night when Taron got up to use the bathroom, he noticed the light was on Eryn’s room. Once he had finished, doing what he needed to do, he knocked gently on the door and pushed it open. Eryn was stood at the window and turned quickly hearing him enter. “It’s late Eryn, you ok?” he asked walking over and putting his arms around her waist “What are you looking at?” Eryn pulled the curtain. “Nothing, I … had a nightmare” she replied. She walked over to the bed, pulling free of Taron’ arms and climbed back in. He followed and sat next to her. “You want to talk about it” Taron tried, yawning. “Not really, I was being silly” she said looking at the window, Taron followed her eye line to the blue patterned curtain and thought for a few minutes.  
Taking hold of Charlie and tucking him under his arm, he took Eryn’s hand and gently got up, leading her into his room. He dropped the teddy bear onto his bed. “Seems like you need more company than Charlie can give you” he smiled his expression still sleepy. He got into bed and gently tugged Eryn’s arm. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t shared a bed before. But this was different, last time was an accident. It wasn’t that Eryn wasn’t craving constantly to be touching, holding or being held by Taron. It was what else he might expect that worried her, not that she worried he wouldn’t respect her, it was a muddle in her head. She allowed him to pull her into the bed and into a hug, though she made a note to herself, to have a difficult conversation with Taron come the morning. Anyway, he was right, she would sleep better knowing he was right next to her. She kept dreaming Phil was climbing in the window and Taron automatically took the window side of the bed, without knowing.  
When she woke next morning, Taron was hugging Charlie bear and she smiled as she took time to watch him sleep. Taking in all the features that made her smile and tingle. “Stop watching me” he muttered making her laugh. She moved so that she laid across his back, her head on his shoulder. “I like watching you sleep” she smiled. “Your so cute!” Taron turned suddenly rolling Eryn off him onto the mattress as he hovered over her “I am NOT cute” he scowled softly at her “Do not start that shit with me” he grinned. Eryn was shaken a little by the sudden movement and managed to shake off a flashback as it tried to invade the moment. Reminding her of the need to talk to Taron about the sexual side of things. He was a man after all, and she too wasn’t a eunuch.  
Taron had a day planned, he climbed out of bed and disappeared for a shower. Leaving Eryn to collect her thoughts and plan her strategy. Once the bathroom was free, she took over and allowed the water to run over her body. She was feeling better, still sore between her legs and her face still looked terrible, the bruising turning yellow green. She was concerned about the wounds though, hoping it wouldn’t scar to badly. For the first time, since the incident, Eryn looked in the mirror and did her make-up, as best she could. She brushed her waist length blonde hair and twisted it into a fishtail plait. Back in her room she chose a floaty maxi dress and white converse. Grabbing her cardi, she walked into the lounge.  
Taron had a sport bag that looked badly over filled, he smiled and walked over to kiss her. “Well wow … look at you” he inhales and swallowed hard “You look beautiful” he breathed into her ear as he kissed her neck. Taron was wearing blue shorts and a long sleeve tee, with his usual converse. “Twins” smiled Eryn tapping her foot against his. “Great minds” Taron replied. “Right, ready?” he said cheerily. “I think so, but where we are going?” Eryn asked. But Taron simply tapped the side of his nose.  
When they left the building Eryn, holding Taron’s hand was pulled away from the direction of the car. “We are walking” he said, “it’s not far, is that ok?” Eryn’s stomach turned, feeling immediately exposed and nervous. At least in the car she could get away quick, should Phil appear. Taron suddenly understood, “ You aren’t going to let him change what you do, remember?” he said looking into her eyes, she smiled and nodded, squeezing his hand, she skipped a little ahead “Come on then, which way” she smiled.  
They walked along the marina, chatting about nothing and enjoying the morning sun. Soon they passed Taron’s auntie’s Tea Room. He waved through the window and explained to Eryn about his family. He let her into the fact that he intended on taking her round to his Mam’s once todays activity was done. This made Eryn a little nervous, she knew his mam was going to be a lovely as he was, but felt awkward that she knew all her drama’s, plus meeting the parents of a new partner was always a bit of a worry. They chatted briefly with Taron’s Auntie, but Taron was keen to make it quick saying they had an appointment to keep.  
“Appointment??” Eryn queried, but Taron simply gestured zipping his lip, they finally arrived at their destination a short walk on. “A spa??” Eryn looked at Taron “Ok, not at all what I was expecting” she said Taron placed his hands on Eryn’s hips and looked at her “ You have had a lot going on, you deserve a chance to relax and be pampered” he said kissing her lightly. “See cute” she replied. Earning her another playful scowl. They walked into the spa and were greeted by a friend of Taron’s. “Morning Mate” he said and shook hands “The well-tanned friend of Taron’s was Gethin, manager of said spa” he took Eryn’s hand “Good to meet you Eryn, Croeso” he replied “Welcome” Taron translated. Eryn laughed “Omg don’t I know no welsh whatsoever” “Oh mate” said Gethin rather camply “You need to sort that out, what kind of welsh man are you?” he teased. “Taron replied in welsh” making the pair laugh “hey no fair” complained Eryn.  
“Sorry” Taron replied. Gethin led the pair through and showed them the changing rooms, confirmed their couple’s day treatments, lunch times and free periods where they could use the gym, swimming pool, hot tubs and other facilities. “Taron, I don’t have my swimsuit” Eryn said slightly panicked, But Taron tapped the bulging sports bag “All organised” he smiled “You went through my bag?” Taron looked sheepish. “Lucky you have me wrapped round your finger, Welsh Boi” she scolded. He grinned “Is that my nickname now?” he said making you smile “Certainly looks to be sticking doesn’t it?” she replied.  
Eryn took her things from the bag, looking for the swimwear she saw Taron had packed all three, “oh shit” she thought taking the bikini and thick thigh slogan ones out “damn it” she chuckled, reddening at the embarrassment. But looking at them, she decided to wear the bikini. She wasn’t on the beach, so why not. She loved the way it looked, making her rounded stomach look less so and pushing her breasts together into a beautiful cleavage. The need to talk coming back to her as she looked at her breast area in the mirror. But this was not the place.  
She emerged from the changing room, with the towelling robe wrapped around her, when she walked out into the pool area, she saw Taron had saved two loungers and was placing some books onto the table, where two drinks already sat waiting. He, having fewer body hang ups, had no robe on, his being laid at the end of the lounger. Eryn took him in, his muscular legs and thighs and bare chest sent familiar tingles down her spine. He really was an incredibly attractive man and she again thought about that conversation, thinking if she continued to feel turned on by this day, it may need to be had sooner than later.  
Taron smiled as he looked over and saw Eryn lost in thought, waving at her. She came back from her thoughts and walked over. “You are organised” she remarked picking up the books and looking to see what he had brought. “Not bad” she smiled “I wasn’t sure what you like so I just grabbed my current one and a couple of my favs” he said, Eryn thought she detected some nerves in Taron’s voice and she was reminded that they hadn’t had an actual date yet, this she supposed was just that, their first date. She grabbed a glass of what appeared to be champagne “Is this?” she asked “Of course” Taron replied as she passed him the other glass “ Bit early isn’t it?” she asked sipping the drinking and realising it was appetizer. She laughed Taron grinned “Champagne’s coming later” He whispered into her ear, kissing her on the cheek.  
Placing the drink down, Taron turned and kissed Eryn again before jumping into the pool, creating a splash. The place was empty except for Taron and Eryn. Eryn took the plunge and disrobed. Revealing her bikini, Taron wolf whistled from the side of the pool, his hair dishevelled from the water. Eryn turned and walked to the edge she sat and dropped her legs into the water. Taron moved between her legs, holding her ankles “Come on then, you aren’t sitting there all day” he grinned tugging her legs as she playfully kicked her legs, splashing water in Taron’s face and making him let go. She finally slipped into the water. It was cool and felt amazing on her warm body, she dipped her head back allowing the water to cover her hair. Now loose and floating behind her head.  
Taron swam up to her putting his hands around her waist he pulled her in for a wet kiss. The couple floated gently, lost in each other. As Eryn wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck. “Taron? How come no one else is in here?” she said “technically the place is closed due to Covid 19” he said a mischievous smile crossing his face “So what? What did you do?” Eryn asked as Taron let go and teasingly floated away from her “Oi, don’t you run away from me welsh Boi” she demanded cheekily, closing the gap “I called in a favour” he grinned “So we have the place to ourselves” Eryn stated “Yup” Taron said increasing the gap and pretending to swim “Now if you’ll excuse me, I shall be doing some lengths over here” he replied cheekily. “Fine” Eryn returned, joining in the play, I shall go and relax over here” she retorted pulling herself out of the side of the pool and walking over to the lounger, she wrapped the gown back around herself, sipping her drink. She settled on her lounger and pretended to read, though watching Taron over the top of the book.  
To begin with he continued to swim normally, but soon he began to throw odd actions into his stroke, in order to catch Eryn’s attention. In turn, Eryn deliberately ignored him, but every so often when she knew he was looking she would act seductively, allowing the gown to open revealing her bare leg, which she would stretch out and run her hand down. She would flick her hair over her shoulder and look at Taron through her eye lashes, a smirk on her face. Before long Taron’s patience waned and he swam to the side, pulling himself on to the side, he walked up to Eryn and shook his hair, showering water all over her and the book. “Argh …. You bugger” she cried, making him laugh as he sat beside her and firmly planted a kiss on her lips. It was full of passion and yearning, Eryn felt his tongue and she found herself wanting him, she wanted him so bad. But there is was again, that flashing image and tears burned in her eyes as Taron’s lips left hers.  
She looked deeply into his eyes, sad and disappointed. She rested her forehead against his chest and then pulled him to her. As he held her to spoke quietly. “we need to talk about this Taron, but I don’t want to ruin today ok?” she finished. “I know, later ok” he said softly. Stroking her back, letting her know he wasn’t upset. “Hungry?” he asked, and Eryn smiled “Yes! “she gasped “Starved, but if this place is closed?” she asked But Taron smiled and picked up his phone, sending a text. A few moments later and two waiters appeared with a folding table, the set it between the two loungers and disappeared, returning with a platter of seafood, breads and salad. A bottle of champagne on ice and a number of smaller snacky things. “Thanks guys” Taron said low fiving the waiters, who disappeared “OMG Taron!” Eryn Laughed. But Taron was already pouring the champagne.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12  
Having had a super chilled day and enjoying the couples massage together. You really didn’t want to spoil things. But throughout the day, you found yourself so physically drawn to Taron, you knew it was going to burn a hole in your if you didn’t get it out soon. First though you had to get passed another hurdle.  
Tina greeted you both with that same smile, you knew so well. In fact, Taron had a lot of similarities with his mam you noticed. Like how she pulled her into a hug straight away and made you feel immensely welcome. Taron took your hand and led you into the main room. Two pretty, young girls jumped on Taron before he could get through the doorway. Tina shouting for them to calm down, from behind Eryn, she shook her head, smiling. Taron lifted the smallest onto his hip and carried her into the room, holding the others hand, having let go of Eryn’s “Tea Eryn?” Tina asked, “Yes please” she replied “Shall I help?” Eryn offered “Yeah go on then” Tina replied sensing Eryn could do with a womanly chat, while the three ‘Children’ played roughly in the lounge.  
Tina got three mugs from the cupboard and a teapot from the side throwing 6 tea bags into the pot. “So how are feeling Eryn? Taron’s filled me in on what happened” she asked kindly “I hope you don’t mind” she continued. Eryn shook her head and sat on the edge of the little booth that the family ate at. “No, of course he told you, you’re his mam, I wouldn’t expect anything else” Eryn said though she reddened a little. Tina sat opposite her while she waited on the kettle.   
“Sounds like you have been dealing with a lot all in all Eryn, you must be very strong” Tina took one of Eryn’s hands that had begun to tremble and squeezed it. “It’s okay to not be ok Eryn, as long as you know that” Tina looked at Eryn in the same way Taron always did when she was struggling. “I see where Taron gets his kindness from Tina, thank you. I do try to be strong. I don’t like to burden others, but Taron has been amazing, he just seems to break through my barriers, in a way no one else has, which can be a little scary” Eryn was surprised at herself, again it seemed so easy to talk. “Well Eryn, if you need another support, please come talk to me, you know sometimes men don’t always understand everything” she smiled, and Eryn found all her concerns and nerves about meeting the family fell away. The kettle clicked and Tina got up and poured the boiling water into the teapot. She asked Eryn to take the milk from the fridge and together they made up a tray, with a little sugar bowl, a jug of milk and a plate of biscuits. Tina added two plastic mugs and sent Eryn ahead of her into the front room.   
She found Taron laid on his stomach on the floor, a Kristoff doll in his hand was singing something from Frozen as the girls, played with their own dolls. Eryn smiled as he watched them playing together. The girls shared his looks too and Mari the youngest certainly had his spirit, Rosie was a little shyer. But Taron ensured that she didn’t get left out and he would move around her to engage with her character at a quieter vocal level.   
Tina coughed loudly as she set the tray on the coffee table. The three ‘Kids’ looked up excitedly at the chocolate biscuits and came straight over. Taron got up off the floor and sat on the edge of the sofa “Shall I be mother?” he asked, and Tina nodded. The expression was standard but something about the way Taron said it made Eryn laugh loudly. Everyone look around, “Sorry” she said reddening, but Mari giggled “ Taron is a girl” she sang at him “Oi” he complained “Taron is a mummy” Mari continued and was joined by Rosie and then Eryn” laughing “Mam, their picking on me?” Taron whined to his Mam.   
“Ok girls, that’s enough” she said lightly “Taron can’t help being a girl” she continued chuckling “Ugh” Taron huffed playfully “ There are too many women in here” he complained “ Well you ought to fit in then” said Tina as she left the room, for more milk. Taron dropped onto the sofa and crossed his arms, pretending to throw a tantrum. Eryn whispered to Mari and Rosie, then the three of them descended on Taron tickling everywhere and anywhere they could. This of course had Taron react in kind, tickling the girls and Eryn as best he could.   
As Tina returned to the chaos, she had to shout “OK Seriously now, come on let’s calm down” she said in perfect mam voice. The girls sat down on the other side of the table and grabbed a biscuit each as Taron went back to pouring tea into all the mugs. Tina placed the milk jug back down and sat in the armchair. Taron passed Eryn a mug having added the sugar he knew she liked. Soon everyone was nibbling biscuits and enjoying their tea. Rosie had moved to sit next to Taron and Eryn had Mari sitting on her knee as they chatted. Eryn asked about school and lockdown, she learned a lot about the girls’ interests and loved how excited they got when they talked about dancing.   
It was a warm and comfortable afternoon and Eryn wondered why she had got so worried. She watched the family interact and felt pangs of jealousy. Feelings of sadness and that familiar yearning in her heart. She was so glad Taron had all of this, but it hurt that she never had and knew never would. She shook the feelings away as best she could.   
Soon it was time to head off and let the family have their evening meal. After lots of hugs and kisses. Taron and Eryn began the walk back to his apartment. It was dark now and Eryn found the lack of light increased her anxiety. She hooked her arm into Taron’s and walked close to him, keeping her eyes open for anything strange or worrying. Taron was aware of the change in Eryn and tried to keep the pace up, so it would be a quick walk back.  
Once they arrived back at the block, Eryn sighed heavily, not realising how tense she had been. “Are you ok?” Taron asked as the stepped out of the lift. “ Eryn nodded “ As long as you are here, yes I am” she said smiling and leaning up to Taron, she kissed him on the lips “ I had an amazing day” she said as they stopped on the landing. He smiled “Mission accomplished?” he asked “Absolutely” Eryn replied and Taron kissed her again. Breaking apart they wandered toward the door. But straightway Taron knew something was wrong.  
There was a stream of light coming from where the front door should be and as the pair reached the entrance to the flat, they saw the door was in splinters on the ground. Eryn gasped and looked at Taron grabbing his arm. Taron pulled his phone out and dialled 999.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Eryn sat on the edge of the bed, looking around at the walls and décor. She felt like a 13-year-old, sat on Taron’s childhood bed, in his room at his mam and stepdad’s. She was meant to be sleeping, but it was no use. Every time she closed her eyes, his face was there. She could hear Taron’s voice downstairs and he discussed everything with his Mam and Guy (His stepfather) going over what the police had said.  
She ran her hands through her hair, thinking maybe it was time to go home. This was getting serious now. If bail was not going to stop him breaking and entering, what was he going to do next? Poor Taron had enough to deal with without this and although it hurt her, she wondered if he would be better off out of the whole situation. She was so grateful that he had been there for her, but they hadn’t even talked about what happened to her and she still had so much to tell him.  
She heard footsteps and the door creak open. As she laid down on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. Taron slipped under the cover and was about to lay his arm on her tummy, when he saw her eyes were open. “I thought you were asleep” he whispered turning on his side and propping himself up on his arm. He leant over and stroked her forehead. “You are worrying?” he asked, and Eryn nodded. Turning to look at him “About you” she said “Me?” Taron said a little surprised “Why?” he asked.  
“I feel like I’ve been like a bomb that’s been thrown at you” she said looking down. “You have” he smiled Eryn sighed “In a good way Eryn” he said lifting her head he moved forward to kiss her, but she moved a little back stopping the kiss. He looked at her a little hurt. “Wouldn’t it be better if I just went home Taron” she managed to say with a wobble in her voice, “No” he said simply “And I know why you’re saying that, but No… just No ok” he said pressing his lips against her and holding her head to prevent her pulling away again.  
“Don’t do that Eryn” he said looking a little upset “You’re letting him win, that’s what he wants” he said firmly. “Taron… can we” she started “Have that talk you mentioned” he finished for her. She nodded “Mind reader” he smiled a little, “Go on then...” Taron’s voice was cautious. “You haven’t asked me what actually happened” Eryn stated, “Is there a reason for that?” Taron thought for a moment. “Not really, I just assumed you would tell me when you felt ready, I know some of it obviously” he said stroking the lines on her face still red from where they were cut.  
“Do you want me to tell you?” Eryn asked “It’s okay if you don’t want to know” she continued “I just feel so guilty Eryn, I’m not sure I’m really able to hear the details, it hurts to think of the things he did to you and makes me so angry” he admitted. Eryn moved closer to Taron and placed her hands on his cheeks. “Guilty, Omg Taron what on earth are you guilty of?” he put his hands-on top of hers. “For being too fucking late to stop him Eryn, I let you down I …” he broke off dropping his face into the pillow. You knew he was hiding his tears.  
You ran you fingers through his hair, “It’s not your fault Taron, it’s his and only his” she said quietly “Now who’s letting him win” she continued “ This is what he does, he’s toxic, he infects everything and turns it all bad. I do not want him to infect you, us” she found it hard to speak. Taron lifted his head, wiping the wet from his eyes. “It’s all coming out in court Eryn anyway, maybe it’s time I did face up to the details” He said looking at her “Anyway you shouldn’t have to shoulder it all alone” he pulled her into a hug. “Tell me” he croaked.

========  
Eryn took a step “Hello Darling” Phil replied brightly, striding into the room. “Right Darling, let’s not fuck about” He said looking around the room “Phil what are you doing here? How did you even know where I was” Eryn Stuttered? Phil turned to face Eryn, grabbing her hair he pulled it hard. “That is too many fucking questions Eryn” he growled “Get your fucking coat and phone and don’t let’s be a silly little girl and start making a fuss” he snarled letting go. Eryn swallowed hard grabbing her jacket and picking up her phone, Phil snatched it out of her hand and slid it into his jean back pocket. “Right get your stuff” he shouted “Now” he picked up Eryn’s duffle bag and went into the bathroom pushing the contents of the side into the bag and throwing anything of Eryn’s into it, Eryn pulled out her suitcase, shaking she threw everything in and zipped it up. She saw her laptop on the table and grabbing it she slid it under the pillows.  
She looked around, she had everything, thinking hard she tried to work out how to raise the alarm. But her thoughts were cut off by Phil grabbing her arm roughly and marching her out of the room. “Now remember when you check out, no stupid stuff and don’t even think of trying to let your fancy man know your leaving” Eryn shot a look at Phil “Fucking hell Eryn, you think I don’t know you’ve been a fucking slut” he spat as they travelled down in the lift.  
At the reception Phil, slid his arm off Eryn’s arm and into her hand, smiling he escorted her to the reception. “Hi ... erm I need to check out” said Eryn “No problem” the receptionist said and looked up her details “Oh your due to stay 3 more nights, is there a problem?” the receptionist asked looking from Eryn to Phil. Eryn wanted to nod so badly, but Phil increased the pressure on her hand, so she shook it. “We had a fight is all” said Phil “Made up now though, right darling” he cooed kissing Eryn on the lips. Eryn shocked didn’t respond and the receptionist seemed to be aware that something was not quite right.  
She tried to send Eryn a look, but rather than get too involved quickly rang up the bill and Eryn handed her credit card over. Taking the paper receipt Phil walked Eryn out of the door. “Hey Eryn” called Sonny the waiter “fuck off” replied Phil. “Who’s that another one you’ve been fucking behind my back” he growled. Opening the passenger seat, he practically threw Eryn into the car. She adjusted herself in her seat. Looking around her desperately for some way to get out of the situation. Phil locked the doors, having climbed into the driver’s seat. He started the car and they pulled out of the hotel car park. Eryn continued to scan the area desperate for sight of Taron or one of the groups. But soon they were leaving Aberystwyth and tears began to fall down Eryn’s face.  
Phil ignored her and began his tirade “She was out of order disappearing on him, who did she think that she was? She belonged to him and she needed to get it into her head, that he would never let her go. Did she think that simply chucking her phone away would stop him?” it went on and on. Eryn simply tuned it out going numb and returning to the dissociative state she knew too well.  
She was beginning to fall asleep when the car juddered to a halt and smoke poured out of the bonnet. Phil jumped out of the car ad ran to the bonnet opening it. Eryn saw the flames and panicking grabbed at her door; it now being unlocked. Once out on the hard shoulder, she saw her opportunity and climbing over she tried to run, but the steep back was too much, losing her footing she tumbled down the bank rolling to a stop at the bottom, She tried to gather herself and get up. She had lost one of her sandals and managed to pull the other off. Looking up she saw Phil looking at her from the top of the bank, he was screaming for her to stay where she was.  
But something got her up from the floor, the thought of Taron. She wasn’t going to let Phil do this anymore. She got up and turned pushing through some bushes that scratched her arms and legs she broke out into a field and began running and running as fast as she could. She didn’t look back. Despite hearing Phil’s voice shouting at her. Up ahead was a forest and she thought if he could make it that far at least she might have a chance of hiding.  
As she reached the edge of the trees, something hit her in the face. She fell landing on the dirt. She felt his hands grabbing at her turning her over, she came face to face with Phil again. Reaching to her cheek, she felt something wet and as she looked at her hand, she saw blood. Her eyes widened, but before she could say anything, she was hit again. She fell again her face on the dirt.  
Then she felt hands on her legs, they were pushing up her skirt. She gasped panicking she pushed her skirt down “No Phil” she begged “Please, Please I will good I won’t run” she cried, tears running down her mud-covered face. But he didn’t answer, instead he punched her hard in the head. Her vision blanked and she passed out.  
When she woke up, she knew what he had done. She could feel it. She lay in the mud, staring at the roots of a nearby tree stump. She had no idea if he was even there anymore. She just lay still, hoping that she was dead. That this was the end now, that it was over. But it was then that a face came into view. “Hello” is seemed to say though Eryn couldn’t hear anything but buzzing in her ears. “Ok my love, I’m Daisy. I’ve called the police and they are on the way” she said. Eryn felt something warm being placed over her and realised that ’Daisy’ must have covered her up.  
Getting to the hospital was a blur, she vaguely remembered being in the ambulance and continuing to remain semi-conscious and numb, she remembered little of the sexual assault kit being done. She remembered being in the hospital bath, a nurse washing her gently. She remembered the paper suit she had been given and calling out for Taron. Curling up on the hospital bed.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14  
Taron had tried so hard to be stoic while Eryn told him what had happened. He managed it to begin with, anger taking hold in him as he heard her describe the way that she had been practically frogmarched from the hotel and even when the receptionist knew something was wrong, did nothing he exhaled heavily, trying to hold in his emotion. But as she described what happened in the wood, he couldn’t bare it any longer and tears ran down his cheeks.   
Now he and Eryn sat in an endless embrace, holding tight to each other as everything that had been said, filtered through and Taron began to process it all. He understood why Eryn had been worried about sharing and knew he loved her that little bit more for not wanting him to feel what he did right now. But he was also glad that she wasn’t carrying this alone anymore, he knew at her trial she would have to go over it all again and he wanted to be able to support her properly. He couldn’t do that if he were only just learning the truth then.  
He buried his head in her neck, inhaling her scent and kissing is gently as he pulled back. She looked at him and he her. “You are safe now Eryn” he said “And I’m going to make sure that that cunt goes down for a fucking long time” he was shaking with anger and hurt. Eryn ran her fingers down his arm, nodding. “I’m ok” he said quietly, seeing her worried frown “It just hurts, that he did that to you, and I couldn’t be there to stop it” he finished. “I know” She replied missing him on the lips.  
They fell asleep in each other’s arms that night. Thought both had nightmares that broke up their slumber, they settled again with the comfort of each other.  
Next day and Eryn were already downstairs, dressed and chatting with Tina and the girls, when a scraggy headed Taron appeared in the kitchen. He kissed each of those present before sliding into the booth and pouring himself a glass of orange juice, Tina passed him a full English breakfast and he grinned. Eryn slid in next to him, with her toast. Giving him a peck on the cheek. He rubbed her leg under the table. Smiling at each other. Tina chased the girls out of the kitchen to give them some space. “How are you feeling this morning?” Eryn asked. Taron kissed her on the cheek and answered her still with a mouthful of food “I’m good, promise” he smiled lightly. “any news on the flat?” he asked looking for his phone that was charging on the kitchen counter. Eryn got up and grabbed it from the charger, sliding it across to him, she grabbed hers.  
Taron wiped his mouth with the napkin, great “We have a guy coming this afternoon” he smiled putting the phone down. “What like a bodyguard?” Eryn answered and Taron nodded. “Really?” she looked nervous and Taron patted the seat next to him, so she sat. “You won’t know he is even around, he will be very discreet” he said. Eryn sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. “I know it’s just all the fuss” Taron poked her lips with his fork full of food. “Eat” he said and she took a bite “ Listen, if Phil isn’t going to play by the rules, then we need to step things up” he said “At least until the police have evidence it was him behind the break in and can get him back in jail” he continued to feed Eryn. Who laughed evenly “I’ve had mine” she kissed Taron again “Ok, if you think it will keep us safe” she mused?   
“Oh, the police messaged, Flats clear to return minus objects of interest, whatever that means?” she said, “Does it say if anything was taken?” Taron asked and Eryn Shook her head. “I suppose they wouldn’t know would they we would have to tell them” she added. Taron heaved a sigh “God I hope nothing important has gone” he scowled. Eryn looked at Taron “Don’t” he said “Don’t even try and say sorry, you are not to blame for him, remember” Eryn rolled her eyes. “Ok” she said simply.  
Arriving at the flat, the police tape was draped across the floor. The front door had been replaced and a new alarm fitted. As the couple walked into the apartment, they did a mental inventory. Eryn going into her room, she sat on the bed “Taron?” She called and he ran in, “what?” Taron asked panicked. “He took it all...” she muttered looking at the bare room. Her bags were gone, her clothes, her laptop, new phone. The window was boarded up and glass littered the floor below. “He smashed the window” she said confused. Taron took her shoulders and gently pulled her to standing, he slid his hand into hers. Staring at the window. “OK let’s do this together” he said leading her out of the room.  
Eryn sat holding on to her knees as Taron ended the call. “DS Owen has logged all the items that are missing” he said and handed her a piece of paper “That’s what the police took” he climbed over the back of the sofa and dropped onto it next her, wrapping his arms around her. She read the list, relieved that at least some of her things were with the police and hadn’t been taken by Phil. Still sitting in the flat, Eryn felt weird knowing that Phil had been through the place. He had stabbed and slashed the bed mattress and curtains. Smashed up the kitchen and destroyed anything he could. Eryn felt awful, that all of Taron’s possessions had been damaged. She knew he would tell her it wasn’t her fault, but it still felt like it.  
They slept on an inflatable mattress that night, while they waited for new furniture to arrive. Laying in Taron’s arms they chatted about the new security guards, there would be two guys James and Paul. Massive guys they were who could certainly deal with skinny Phil. They would do 12-hour shifts and Taron was right, she barely knew they were around. But she had a little button that she could press, and police would be on their way asap. So, she was as safe as she could be, she knew. After all the coward had waited until they were out to smash the flat up and ran off after dropping the flowers.  
Taron was firing Eryn up too, now she knew that he knew all the details of the worst day of her life, she felt closer than ever to him and felt lighter sharing the load.  
“Right ...ok… no of course” Eryn tried to eavesdrop, but she could only make out odd words. Taron had been on the phone for ages and she was feeling bored and fed up. The wonderful Welsh summer had decided to descend, and it was pouring with rain outside. Eryn wandered around the flat, looking at the bookshelf and mooching through the drawers. Nothing particular on her mind.  
“Oi stop snooping you” Taron chided playfully, making Eryn jump. “Sorry babe” he cringed putting his arms around her waist. “Who was on the phone?” Eryn asked. “My agent, as things are opening up, they are trying to get me back to London” he said evenly. “so, when are you going?” she asked, and he shrugged. “Like I told them, when I can be sure that it’s safe to do so” he smiled 2What does that mean?” Eryn looked bemused “Well when were you thinking of going back? And before you say it, we can stay here until you are ready” he said as she turned to face him putting her arms around his neck.  
“I suppose I ought to think about going back soon, I mean I was due back today. But I will have to sort the flat out, when I get back and I am in no rush” she looked up into Taron’s eyes, smiling. “What?” he asked looking back at her. “Nothing” Taron kissed her cheek. “What have you got to sort out?” he asked as he began to move them both, swaying side to side “Well, I need to create a bloody big fire for all that shitbags stuff” she sighed.   
“Okay, how about say one more week? Then we get back to real life” he asked dipping Eryn back dramatically, making her laugh “Only you could dance without music” she chuckled. Taron tapped his temple “Always music playing in here” he said. Twirling Eryn round. Eryn joined throwing shapes and taking Taron’s lead, until they both fell onto the sofa out of breath in hysterics. Taron pulled Eryn to him and kissed her lightly. Looking into her eyes, she felt that familiar fizz and remembered the talk she needed to have.  
“Taron” she said a little more seriously “uh huh” he answered. Moving a strand of her hair away. “Do you remember in the spa, when I said we needed to have talk” she continued. He looked at her a look of concern on his face. She ran her hands over his forehead “Hey it not anything to worry over” she said lightly. He sat up straight and putting a cushion on his legs, he patted his lap, Eryn lay her head on his legs and Taron began playing with her hair.   
“Come on then, hit me with it” Taron said “I wanted to talk to you about” Eryn reddened a little. “About sleeping together?” he asked. She nodded. “Taron, I need you know, that it’s not that I don’t want to” she said lifting his t-shirt and playing with the little hairs on his stomach. He smiled down at her letting her talk “I know I went weird on you that first time in the hotel” she continued. “It’s so unfair T, but I get so far and his fucking face flashes at me in my head” she sighed as Taron began to stroke her forehead “It’s not even like a full image he hasn’t got a face, but I know its him” she looked up at Taron “ I don’t want to be seeing his face, when I’m with you” she said looking deep into Taron’s eyes.  
“Eryn, you have been through so much, physically and mentally, I’m not going to even think about it” he said softly “ Baby, I would love to be with you in that way, you’re so beautiful any man would” he smiled “But I’m not an idiot, after what he did to you, of course you aren’t going to want to. I’m not going anywhere, and I hope you aren’t either” his smile widened as he spoke “WE have plenty of time for that” he leant down and kissed her lips softly.   
“I am going to find a way to get him out of your head too” he said firmly. “He has no right to keep barging in there” he lightly tapped Eryn’s forehead. He kissed her again, a little firmer this time. She joined him and for some time they enjoyed each other’s lips, making out on the sofa like teenagers. When they finally broke apart, they found themselves gazing at each other, smiling.  
“I’m glad you talked to me Eryn” Taron said “It’s been on my mind since that first night, to be honest” Eryn replied “ It drive me crazy, I hate it” she exhaled heavily. Taron pulled her to him and kissed her strongly “I will have to kiss it out of you” he smiled, and Eryn grinned “Ok” she said simply and brought her lips to meet his again.  
After another mammoth kissing session, Taron and Eryn decided that the weather called for a movie night. Taron ran to the chippy and got a traditional fish supper for them both and the ate it out of the paper while watching horror movies. The duvet from the spare room wrapped around them as they snuggled together. Eryn felt better having finally talked to Taron, she still had something more to tell him. But didn’t want to ruin this perfect time, this was bliss. All she had ever dreamed a boyfriend and girlfriend should be. She found herself stealing glances at Taron, pinching herself. How had she got so lucky? She thought.   
Her mind wandered to her return to London, she had begun to feel at home here London no longer felt like where she wanted to be, but she knew Taron too lived in the big smoke and it was where her work was. This was a beautiful and dreamlike time, but it wasn’t meant to last forever. She sighed as she thought of her apartment and thought it would be easier to pack her stuff and move, instead of staying. “Taron?” she asked “yeah” he answered “ I think I’m going to just pack my stuff and find a new flat when I go back” she stated, she knew if she said it out lout she was more likely to follow through “Really?” Taron asked “Are you sure? I mean don’t let that arsehole make you feel like you have leave” he said “It’s not that” she smiled “ I hate that flat, always have, it was his choice” she nodded “Yep, pass me the laptop please, I’m going to check out some flats” Taron leant under the coffee table and handed Eryn her laptop.   
But as she went to take it, Taron didn’t let go. “Eryn” he said “If it’s too soon, then that’s fine, but If you wanted to, I mean” Taron waffled “Taron, Are you asking me to move in with you?” Eryn asked smiling “Badly, yes that what I’m asking” he said rolling his eyes. Eryn beamed “You really want to be stuck with me 24hrs a day?” she asked “Well, I will be working some of the time, you know” she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tight “is that a yes?” Taron asked “Yes” Eryn shouted and kissed Taron on the lips, “Yes” she said again, kissing him again “Yes”, she repeated for a third time. This time as she kissed him, he held her so she couldn’t let go and deepened the kiss, Eryn melting into his arms.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15  
“Mam, I have to go back to work” Taron was trying his best to allay his mother’s fears about him going back to London. “I will follow the guidelines Mam, yes I have masks” he groaned “Sorry, Mam I know it’s because you care. But I can’t stay here forever” Eryn smiled and rubbed Taron’s arm as he spoke. Hearing in his voice, how bad he felt. But Eryn also knew Tina was a worrier and like most Mum’s over-protective. Eryn herself was apprehensive, she like the little Welsh bubble and had come to feel at home in Aber.  
The car was packed and ready to go. The pair had created a playlist for the journey and Taron had finished saying his goodbyes. Eryn sat in the passenger seat and belted herself in. As Taron climbed in, she smiled at him, he too clicked himself in and placing a reassuring squeeze to her knee. They set off. It was in a comfortable silence that they started off, just the music playing and Taron softly humming along. Eryn watched as the streets of Aber disappeared into the distance along with a mix of memories.  
“So, how do you want to do this?” Taron said after a while “Do you want me to go to your place with a list of stuff to get? Or Do you want to do it together?” Eryn hadn’t really thought about the logistics. She wasn’t keen on going back to the flat at all but conceded that if she wanted to make sure she got all her things, then she had better go with Taron and this is what she told him. “Did you have a look at the paperwork Lyndsey sent over yet?” He asked. Lyndsey was his publicist, but she also had a hand in some of the legal side of things and had suggested Eryn get a restraining order on Phil following the break in, Lyndsey had already lodged one for Taron, him being insured by his agency meant he was an asset and needed protection. Should Phil turn his attention to him.  
Eryn nodded, “I emailed her before, said to go ahead.” She replied “Not that it’s going to stop him, Taron. I mean look he broke his bail twice and he’s still out there” she sighed looking out of the window. Taron again squeezed her knee and this time left his hand resting there. “I know it’s frightening, but he will screw up at some point and the police will have him” he tried to sound confident “ Once they have him, that’s it until the trial” he said. Eryn nodded “I know, but while he is still out there…” she trailed off. “I know” Taron agreed “I know, but listen we have Paul and James, you have the panic button, my new place has state of the art security and you have me” he grinned, trying to raise a smile.  
It worked “Are you going to go all Eggsy on him?” she chuckled, Taron was pleased to hear her being playful, it meant she was less stressed. “I know some moves” he laughed “What about your umbrella?” Eryn laughed, “Don’t you need that?” she continued to smile, while Taron rolled his eyes and winked his trademark wink.  
After a fair bit of driving, the couple pulled into a service to grab something to eat. Eryn was reassured when she caught sight of James in her peripheral vision. Knowing he was close by, really helped. Though she felt a bit preposterous, after all it was Taron who was the celebrity. Though back in Aber he was just a local and no one made much fuss. She realised as he raised a few looks and excited mutterings around the service station, that she was going to have to get used to whole different lifestyle. She was somewhat nervous to see his celebrity bachelor pad.  
She hadn’t even known he was a celebrity at first, until she had decided to google him. She was shocked at his status, not realising just how high in the world he was. It unnerved her somewhat, but he was just Taron to her. Her ‘Welsh Boi’ She wasn’t enamoured by fame anyway; it wasn’t something she saw any value in. Sure, she was impressed by his work and achievements. But fame was based on popularity rather than anything substantial or worthwhile and she knew Taron felt the same, he wasn’t in it for fame and money. He was creative, like she was and genuinely enjoyed the art. It was something they were both passionate about and she loved that she could talk for hours with him about what he was reading around his character or the symbolism in the costumes he was wearing for a film. She was yet to watch his entire back catalogue, but what she had seen had impressed her. For someone so modest, he was an incredible chameleon and even though he didn’t show it, he was deeply committed to creating authentic work and had the most devoted work ethic.  
She was dying to see him in action, on set. In fact, he had, along with her entire trip to Wales, awoken her inspiration. She had gone away in part to fix her writers block and succeeded exceptionally well. Grateful that she had hidden her laptop from Phil and even more so for the staff at the hotel for getting it back to her. She now had not only the collection of poetry she had written. But the beginnings of Love story she knew she could turn into a novel.  
Once they had filled up and were back on the road, Eryn felt her energy coming back. Turning the volume up she began to sing along to her favourite songs and a few of Taron’s. Mostly they had the same music tastes, apart from a few dodgy ones. The rest of the journey went quickly as the pair sang and joked, the banter was high, and it was in all a reasonable journey. But soon the same old landmarks appeared, the M4 flyover, Earls Court and finally the BBC white city’s icon round building. Now renovated and turned into luxury apartments, one of which was Taron and now Eryn’s new home. Taron passed through a security gate, in which he had to show a guard his pass. He then parked in the under-ground garage.  
Eryn climbed out and stretched, having seized up from sitting so long. Taron took Eryn’s hand “Come on, I’ll show you around and get the cases later” he said as he led her to a lift. Eryn already felt safer, knowing the place was gated and the only access was through the gate they had entered. She held Taron’s hand, her hand was clammy, and Taron noticed “You ok?” he asked “Yeah, it just weird being back in London, you know?” she replied, and Taron nodded. “Come on, let me show you, your new home” he grinned as he pressed the P button. “As in penthouse?” Eryn asked. Taron reddened “It’s a bit pretentious isn’t it? “he said but Eryn smiled “Not for an A lister like yourself” she teased as Taron groaned.  
The doors opened to a vestibule area, where yet another security guard sat. “Good Afternoon Mr Egerton, Miss” he welcomed the pair. Rising from his seat he unlocked the door in front of them and held it open. Eryn walked in grinning sheepishly as Taron followed her “Ok that was weird” She whispered to him “I know” he admitted “But you get used to it” he looked somewhat embarrassed. But soon forgot as he saw the look on Eryn’s face as she took in the beautiful apartment. She looked like a kid in a candy store. Turning to Taron, she threw her arms around his neck “This is a beautiful place, ridiculous… but beautiful” she smiled. Grinning back at her Taron kissed her lightly. “You are beautiful” he said “Ridiculous… but beautiful” he laughed as Eryn cuffed him. “I live here?” she asked looking into his eyes, sparkling with excitement. He nodded “If you want to? Of course,” he asked “Are you kidding? She beamed. Kissing him firmly on the lips.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16  
Having spoken to both the police and his team, Taron had managed to get Eryn to agree not to return to her flat after all. It was believed to be too much of a risk. Officer Kayman had instead went with a group of professional movers to pack up and put it all in storage. Her clothes and day to day necessities of course would come to the flat. But as Eryn sat in the enormous bed, overlooking the London Skyline. Her head spun. She felt like Dorothy “I am definitely not in Aber anymore” she said, her inner voice rearing its head again. Taron chuckled over hearing “Nope, you are not” he said as he put a tray of bagels and orange juice on the bed “Can’t get this sort of thing delivered in Aber” he grinned taking a bite.  
Eryn however, leaned back against the headboard and yawned. “Not hungry?” Taron asked joining her, holding his bagel in his hand and devouring it in three bites. “You ok?” he mumbled chugging his orange juice. “What’s the hurry?” Eryn asked grumpily “You are going to choke!” she turned away taking in the bedroom in day light. “You didn’t answer me” Taron asked again. “I’m fine” Eryn answered, but didn’t look at Taron. “Ok, well I will be in the office if you need me” he told her as he left the room.  
“Great, well done Eryn” she chided herself, she didn’t really know what was wrong with her, Taron hadn’t done anything to piss her off, she just felt narky. She pushed the duvet off and walked over to the enormous window, feeling the drapes, they were beautiful. Looking out at the view, she became lost in thought. She was broken from it, by a knock on the door. Waiting to see if Taron would go, she padded barefoot into the hall and looked through the spyhole. It was Paul, the security guard. Eryn opened the door and Paul smiled at her “Good morning, I brought your post up” he said handing her a pile of letters. “Thank you” she smiled back and shut the door.  
She walked back along the hallway, realising that she had no idea, where Taron’s office was. The place was huge and clearly someone female had had a hand in the décor, it certainly wasn’t a bachelor pad, by any means. She decided to have a wander, after all this was going to be her home now. She found the spare bedroom; it was set up like a nice hotel room with expensive bed linen and more beautiful heavy drapes and light voiles in the window. Flowers were on the windowsill, another female touch she thought.  
Why did that bother her so much? She didn’t know. I mean it wasn’t like she didn’t know he had ex’s and anyway it could just as easily be his Mam’s involvement. As she continued her wander, she found the kitchen. She chuckled at the Neon Troubadour sign, admitting to herself that is was pretty cool. Again, the kitchen was filled with high end appliances and gadgets, a proper coffee machine and a beautiful breakfast bar overlooking a sitting area and massive tv screen. She ran her hand along the back of the sofa and left the letters on the breakfast bar as she gazed out at yet more stunning views of the capital.  
It was then that she saw the frosted glass door of Taron’s office, his outline was visible in silhouette and she smiled as she watched his animated body language. She wasn’t able to make out any of the conversation and so decided, to make her way back to the bedroom, on her way back she noticed another set of stairs and as she walked up she came out on the roof garden. It was yet another incredible beauty. Complete with hot tub, infinity pool, bar and seating area for 12 maybe she thought. She sighed sitting on the top step.  
This was a lot, she thought. Reality was slapping her in the face, thinking about her grotty studio flat, she was glad she hadn’t taken Taron there, it couldn’t compare, how could it. This place must have cost a fortune and continue to cost a fortune in upkeep alone she thought. This was a whole different lifestyle, not at all like the pretty flat in Aber. That was sweet and homely. Full of the little nick knacks and photo’s most had. This was something else entirely, she felt as if she was in a film or dream or some kind of fantasy. This could not be real; people didn’t really live in these places.  
She felt her anxiety rearing its ugly head, Eryn wasn’t used to having nice things, she never felt deserving of them, preferring to give away anything of value to those more in need of them. You only had to mention you liked something and Eryn would hand it over. She was kind and giving, but there was something deeper in it, something that left her feeling unworthy. Right now, sat on the steps, she felt it stronger than ever. Looking down, she realised she didn’t even feel able to sit on the bloody furniture, why was she sitting on the stairs? She asked herself “Why are you sitting on the stairs?” Taron asked stopping a couple of steps below her.  
“out loud again?” she asked and he nodded She pulled herself up to standing and began walking down, Taron turned and walked down too “And… “ he asked “I was just getting my bearings, need a compass to find my way around this place” she joked, unsmiling. Taron pulled her nearer “You want to tell me what’s happening up here yet?” he asked stroking her forehead. She shrugged “Ok” he said dropping the subject. He handed her a large white envelope. “For you” he said. Eryn frowned “no one knows I’m here” she looked at Taron concerned. “It says Ceredion Police on the back” He showed her. “Coffee?” he asked walking back to the kitchen as Eryn followed, she sat at the breakfast bar looking at the envelope “What do you think it is?” she asked still frowning “Well, open it and you’ll find out” Taron said pushing the envelope closer to her.  
“Do you want me to do it?” he asked placing a mug of coffee in front of her and sipping his own. Eryn ran her index fingernail under the glued section and pulled a stack of papers from the envelope. Turning them over, she read the trial of Phillip J Warrington would commence on the 3rd December 2021. “21?? But that’s not even this December” she gasped. Taron took the letter and nodded. “What the fuck? So, you are just supposed to what … wait around?” Taron fumed. He moved around and went to hug Eryn, but she jumped off the stool and ran to the bedroom, slamming the door.  
Taron picked up the letter and finished reading it, it apparently took all that time for the police and his lawyers to get their cases together. She had been allocated a solicitor, but Taron had already spoken to some of his contacts and had a more experienced guy already working on things, he didn’t want to tell Eryn yet in case , she bit his head off. Clearly, she wasn’t in the right mood today. HE wished she would talk to him.  
Taron pushed the door open and put Eryn’s coffee on her side table, his on his own. “Eryn?” he said softly “Eryn you didn’t read it all” he continued. Eryn was curled in the duvet, her head under the covers. “Eryn!” Taron said getting annoyed at her “I think you want to read this bit” he tried again and she raised her head, taking the paper she read “We are pleased to inform you that as of the 15th July 2020, Mr Phillip J Warrington has been held at HMS Wakefield and will continue to remain on remand until the commencement of the trial as listed above. “She looked at Taron” a smile creeping across her face, “He’s in prison?” she looked disbelieving, reading it again.  
Taron grinned “In Wakefield, Yorkshire”. Eryn threw her arms around Taron’ neck and burst into tears. “Thank Christ for that” she cried feeling like a massive weight had lifted off her. She kissed Taron and buried her head in his neck “I’m sorry” she spoke into his neck “It’s okay” he replied softly. She pulled back so she could look at him “No its not, I was bitch, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today” she admitted. “We all have off days, it’s fine” he replied “Just talk to me ok, that way I know it’s not me or if it is, I can maybe do something ok?” he kissed her cheek and she nuzzled back into his neck “Ok” she mumbled. “Phew, I had no idea how heavy that was weighing on me” she sighed “I know, I can see” Taron replied, your smiling now, I missed that” he chuckled “Hey it’s not been that long”. Eryn groaned as she changed position “Oh fuck” she said. Jumping up from the bed, “Fucking white fucking sheets” she mumbled as she ran into the bathroom, she began rummaging in the cupboards. “What are you looking for?” Taron shouted, Eryn poked her head around the door “I know why I was a bitch” she looked sheepish “Don’t suppose you have any Sanitary towels or Tampons?” she grimaced. “Oh!” Taron shook his head.  



	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17  
Eryn remained curled in the duvet, for the rest of the day. The Tv on and a hot water bottle, curbing the pain. Taron had managed to organise some sanitary items as well as a few treats, he knew that Eryn would like. He was finishing off what he could in the office, in the hopes that he could have the afternoon free. He had ordered lunch online and wanted to spend the afternoon with Eryn.  
He knew periods were not a medical issue, but he was also a modern guy. He wasn’t going to be condescending. But he knew it was a shitty time and wanted to show Eryn that he cared. Meanwhile Eryn absentmindedly scrolled the internet when she received an email notification. Signing in she opened it and found cleaned off any of the spam and irrelevant emails that had stacked up. She had avoided her email since she let her boss know that she was going on sabbatical. She opened an email and was shocked to see a photograph from one of the red tops, it was a picture of her. She immediately, dropped the phone.  
She got off the bed and ran to find Taron, but her was already coming to her. Seeing her expression, he knew she had seen it already. “Lyndsay just called” he said looking stressed, “You’ve seen it” he said, and Eryn nodded as Taron pulled her into a hug. “Not properly” she said into his neck, “What the fuck? What ??” she groaned not knowing what to say. Taron lead her to the sofa, and they sat. “Ok well as far as I know from Lyndsay, which isn’t much as it has only just come to her attention too” he said “Phil has been talking to the press and a number of photographs were sent to The Sun” Lyndsay is on it and she will let us know what is happening” he finished “Motherfucker!” Eryn stamped her foot and her face creased in anger. Taron stroked the back of her neck as she leant on her knees staring at her feet. “Did you look at it properly?” she said “I did” Taron admitted. “Was it… bad?” Taron continued to massage her neck. “Depends on what you mean by bad, Eryn you might be better off looking at it yourself” he said, “It will be worse in your head otherwise”.  
“So, he’s given them pictures, what else?” she huffed, standing up she began to pace. “I don’t know, we have to wait for Lyndsey” he said “Fuck it, ok” raged Eryn. “Come on” Taron took her hand and they went into his office. She had yet to see his office and it was very Taron, wood and black metal everywhere and against one wall a posh cabinet with a glass front, containing all the awards her had won, centre of them all his Golden Globe. She sat in his incredibly comfortable black leather chair and Taron pulled up a stool from his studio in the back corner. This was basically a soundproofed cupboard that enclosed a microphone and computer system able to record vocals for music, voice work etc.  
“Do you want me to load it first? Then tell you when it’s up or just clicks straight on it?” asked Taron. “Yeah load it first” Eryn agreed. “I can leave you to do this on your own, Eryn if you prefer” He offered, but Eryn grabbed his wrist “Don’t you dare” she replied and Taron, stroked her hand. “ok its up” he said, and Eryn took a deep breath. The picture was bad quality and beaten up. It looked like a picture of an old non digital shot. Its pictured Eryn nude, the private parts and nipples were pixelated but it was still obvious. She was covered in bruises and welts; her eyes were heavy and dull. Her arms covered in slashes in the flesh and blood was clearly dripping down her arm. In her right hand was a large kitchen knife. She looked psychotic, scary.  
Eryn stared at the image, she did not remember it being taken, she didn’t remember the situation or had any memory of the context around the image. She did remember the feeling, the room it was taken she knew and looking at herself she knew, it was not old. This was highly likely taken earlier that same year. “Ok, get rid of its Taron” she said.  
Shame hit her and took over completely as her head fell on the desk and she began to cry. Taron turned the chair towards him and crouched in front of her holding her knees. “Babe…” he began but words failed him. How on earth could he support her with this, it had really hurt seeing the image and that coming from someone who cared for her deeply, to be the subject of it, he couldn’t even imagine what she was going through.  
She lifted her head, “I am so sorry” she managed. Tears poured down her face, he pulled her to him. “Eryn” he said softly. “You have nothing to say sorry for” he continued “Rubbing her back. “I can’t believe you have seen me like that” she whimpered “I don’t care about anyone else” she broke off. Taron squeezed her tight “You know the rule, I will stay here until you say, babe” he reminded her. She gripped his top as sobs wracked her body and she shook. Its broke Taron’s heart to see her hurting so badly.  
As her tears were spent, she fell into a disassociated daze. Taron scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom. Laying her down and crawling on to the bed, she curled into him and he continued to hold her, stroking her hair gently. She closed her eyes and began to drift off to sleep. As she drifted off, Taron’s phone rang, her eyes sprang awake.  
Taron answered “Hello Lyndsey” he whispered. “I’m putting you on speaker, Eryn is here with me” he said. “Hi Eryn” Lyndsey said sounding sympathetic. “Ok, so I have done everything I can ok, the image as you know Taron, is online and that means it sadly is impossible to remove completely. That said it is no banned and subject to an injunction should anyone post, share or copy it. It should mean it will no longer be shown in the mainstream media. The Sun knew that this would happen, which is why we were not aware it was coming. Eryn, Taron I am so sorry that this happened. I have put in papers to sue The Sun and there is now an injunction in place for anything images, or reports regarding You, and more so Phillip Warrington. I have been in contact with the police they are also taking steps to prosecute those involved, including Phillip Warrington as it has the ability to jeopardise the trial” Lindsay finished. 

“Thank you, Lyndsay,” said Taron “Of course Taron, I cannot tell you how horrible I feel, that you were blindsided by this. I can tell you; I am personally going to ensure that those responsible do not get away with this. I do have to warn you that this is likely to create a huge interest in you both and your ‘relationship’ The press love ambiguity, Taron you know this. But Eryn I need you to understand that what the press wants most is space to create a story, so what I think we ned to do, is create a statement, that we can put out. I know that you guys are just figuring things out, it is really early days and you have had all this going on, but if we can create something that gives enough information, to destroy the chance for gossip, it doesn’t mean that some of the red tops won’t maybe throw a few whoppers out, but in the main it takes the story away” she finished.  
“That makes sense Lynd’s, I’m sure Eryn is taking it all in, she’s not really up to talking right now I don’t think. I think we will talk about it all and maybe if you draft something, we can have a read and change anything we need to” Taron sounded in control and calm, which reassured Lyndsay and Eryn too. “Taron I know how you must be feeling, but this is not your doing, Eryn’s case would most likely have been reasonably high profile as it is, from looking at Mr Warrington he seems to, well let’s say he’s well known to the police” she finished tactfully. Eryn’s interest was sparked “He is?” she asked “Eryn?” Lyndsay asked, the two women having not yet spoken directly.  
“Erm yes, Hi. Sorry.” Replied Eryn “Hi Eryn, yes I can send you all the information I have found on Mr Warrington, if you would like. I have forwarded it to the police and the legal team representing you” she said. Eryn frowned at the comments about legal team, confused. But continued “Yes, please. I think I would like to know exactly who I was married to” she said, realising shortly after what she had said. “Ok Eryn, shall I send it to you Taron and the both of you can look at it, Eryn I wouldn’t look at it alone” Lyndsey suggested “Yes, that’s fine” answered Taron as Eryn had gone quiet again, closing her eyes and frowning.  
The telephone conversation ended, with the agreement that Eryn and Taron would discuss the statement draft once Lyndsey had completed and sent it to Taron. Meanwhile they would go through the information Lyndsey had agreed to send. Putting the phone on the side table. Taron returned to his position, wrapping his arms tightly around Eryn. They remained in silence for some time, mulling over the conversation with Lyndsey and the picture.  
“I’m sorry Taron” Eryn mumbled “I should have told you” she opened her eyes and looked up at Taron “Why didn’t you?” he replied a note of anger and hurt in his voice. “shame... I think” she continued “He looked at her confused “It wasn’t like there was even a wedding or anything” she continued “Just a bunch of his junkie mates and a registry office” she felt a lump in her throat. “I meant to tell you, I…” she broke off. Turning over Taron lay on his back, Eryn laid on her stomach her chest leaning against his. He looked at her, his eyes giving away o secrets. “I wish you had, I feel like you’ve lied to me Eryn” he said, and Eryn gulped, fear taking hold of her she tensed. Looking down. “I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that, I just never found the right time to …” tears began to trickle to down her face.  
“Please don’t hate me, leave me” she spoke softly “Eryn” Taron said causing her to look at him again. “I don’t hate you” he said looking deeply into her eyes, hoping she could read his mind, understand what he was thinking and feeling. It hurt that she had not told him, and of course he would forgive her, but it would take a little while to deal with this. “I’m not going anywhere Eryn… I promised you that and I do not break my promises” he explained. “I’m here for you, I love you, but I can’t pretend I’m not hurt, confused and honestly angry that you didn’t say anything” Eryn nodded. Leaning her forehead on his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair.  
“I’m not him Eryn” he said “You don’t have to hide things from me or be scared anymore” he said softly.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Taron and Eryn slept fitfully that night, the city heat didn’t help. But by 3am Eryn gave up on the bedroom and headed for the roof, she curled up under a blanket on the day bed, staring up at the night sky. She could feel the city’s energy going on around her, ‘The city that never sleeps’ Eryn found the low hum, calming and it soothed her. Sleep though still evaded her.  
She sat up, placing her feet on the cool wooden decking. Reading the time on her phone she groaned. She started her Spotify playlist and dropping it onto the coffee table, she began to wander aimlessly around the garden. It looked beautiful in the star light and she could imagine it being a great romantic retreat. She scoffed thinking back to her ‘wedding’ and her experience of romance so far.  
That image flashed in her mind from the paper, had she really looked like that, she thought. She knew that she had let everything go, that she was barely existing, and her appearance was simply controlled by Phil. Her arms weirdly didn’t shock her, it felt like the truth was right there for everyone to see, she was practically bellowing for help, never mind crying out for it. She ran her hand down her arm and the now barely visible scars. Taron had never asked about her scars, she assumed he was waiting for her, but it was not something she consciously thought about.  
She sat at the edge of the pool and dipped her legs into the cold water, sighing at the refreshing sensation. As she did the garden sprang to life, twinkling lights appeared among the plants and shrubs, around the pool and bar. It was stunning and Eryn couldn’t help but smile. Taron sat beside her and dropped his own feet into the cool water. “Oooh that’s nice” he sighed, placing an arm behind Eryn. He gazed out over the city. “This is what sold me on this place” he said. Eryn rested her head on his shoulder “It is amazing” she agreed.  
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, and Eryn nodded. “Things will get better, you know” Taron tried, but Eryn shrugged. “Don’t you trust me?” he asked “I do Taron, but it’s just in my experience, anything good lasts a lot less than the bad” she admitted. Taron squeezed her, “Well that’s because you didn’t have me around” he smiled softly. She looked at Taron, she wanted to believe what he said, so much. “I am sorry Taron, the marriage thing I…” Taron stopped her, pressing his lips to hers. She was sweetly surprised and allowed herself to let go, enjoying him. His hand roved her hair and his tongue explored her mouth. A smile spread across Eryn’s face as the separated. “Am I forgiven?” she asked “Maybe” he nodded “No more secrets though ok?” he said. “No more” she agreed. Kissing him again.  
Stretching her arms, she yawned. Looking at Taron under the lights, she was reminded of his incredible features. Wearing nothing but boxers, she couldn’t help but feel a tingle run up her spine as they sat together. It was then that she had a naughty idea. “It’s too hot” she smirked leaning back as if to stretch. With no idea of what was on her mind Taron agreed. “You need to cool off” she smiled, and he looked at her confused. As she pushed him as hard as she could, sending him crashing into the pool. Eryn began to pull her legs up as Taron emerged to the top, he faces a picture of mischievous naughtiness.  
Eryn gawped, loving how her trick worked, but she was too slow to get both legs out and Taron managed to grip her ankle. She squealed “Taron, no Taron! I’m sorry please” it was no good. Before she could grab the side, Taron pulled her into the pool with him, nightclothes and all. As she reached the surface, spluttering Taron was waiting, grinning. She wiped the dripping water from her face and swam over to him.  
“Damn it Welsh Boi” she panted wrapping her arms around his neck. “Don’t start something you can’t finish Riley” he laughed. Wrapping his arms around her waist. Eryn adjusted Taron’s fringe for him and pressed herself against him. The water felt amazing, her body cooling down. But as they floated together, looking into each other’s eyes, the romance of the place infected them. Eryn wrapped her legs around Taron’s waist, running her hands down his chest, her heart beating hard in her chest.  
Taron ran his hand under her pj top, lifting it his breath deepened and she saw that look in his eyes. “Take it off” she whispered in his ear. “Are you sure” he asked. She smiled and nodded. As he lifted her top, she closed her eyes. Taron couldn’t help reacting to her, she felt him harden and kissed his neck. Swallowing hard she played with his ear lobe, her tongue and lips, flicking the area. He hummed to her “Taron...” Eryn looked deeply into his eyes “I want you to make love to me” she stuttered. He looked at her “Are you sure?” he asked concern on his face.  
She nodded shyly “Eryn” he breathed, she moved to his neck and kissed him, he was unsure, but allowed Eryn to lead him. She took his hand and gently placed it under her breast, taking her lead he stroked it. Dropping his head, he kissed the top of her breasts, cupping them gently, he took her nipple in to his mouth his tongue flicking and sucking them. As he did so, she unwrapped her legs and wriggled her bottoms off. Her hands pulled Taron closer and she tugged his boxers off.  
Taron took hold Eryn’s hips and pulled her to him. The water helped them to move, lapping and flowing over their naked bodies, Eryn felt amazing pressed tightly against him. She ran her fingernails down his chest and kissed his pecs, running her hands over his arms, enjoying the taught biceps. Taron kissed her neck and down her chest. His hands gliding over her thighs and between her legs.  
Eryn gasped as Taron’s fingers entered her, waiting for the familiar flashes. But none came, instead she stared deep into Taron’s eyes as he did hers. Biting her lip as his fingers, worked their magic. Her muscles squeezing his fingers as he brought her close, she had never felt anything like it. Her legs shut around Taron’s arm as her orgasm hit. She was overwhelmed. She had admitted to no one that this was the first time. She had been too embarrassed to even tell girlfriends, that the big O had always been a mysterious thing. Focussed on him, she had never been concerned much with her own.  
But here and now, she couldn’t help the enormous grin, appear on her face. And yet she gasped, if this were what he could do to her with just his fingers…Taron looked at her curiously. He had never had someone react as Eryn just had. He gently slid his fingers out and pulled her to him. Eryn was fired up now, feeling released from the torment of the flashbacks and with Taron in her arms. A new intensity took her over, her hand dropped below the water and took hold of Taron’s dick, he groaned as she ran her hand up and down. She took the back of his head and pulled him to her so she could kiss him, heat was now exploding from her and Taron too was drawn in. He pulled her hand away and pushing her against the side of the pool entered her, He was so big that she grunted loudly, shocked at herself she burst into laughter.  
Taron laughed too, shortly before his eyes darkened with Desire. He held her hips firmly and began to thrust, she wrapped her legs around him, deepening him further. Taron gripped the side of the pool for traction as the water splashed like crazy, it didn’t take long before Taron could feel himself close “ He leant into her “I’m close baby” he keened his tongue licking his lips “Cum for me baby” Eryn heard herself say as her body arched with him and her hair dipped into the cool water as Taron shuddered, she felt him fill her. He held her too him as shortly after she too came, breathing out his name as she felt exhilaration, like nothing before.  
Breathing heavily Eryn collapsed onto Taron’s shoulder. A beaming smile permanently glued to her face. As she trembled with aftershocks. Taron had never had anyone react quite like this and was concerned, he stroked her back “are you cold?” he asked not understanding. She kissed his neck and shook her head. “Your shivering” he said “You” she tried “did this” she grinned. “me?” he asked surprised. As the trembling disappaited, she moved back. Now she was shivering, the night air on her wet skin, began to feel cold.  
“Come on” Taron led her out of the pool and opening an ottoman pulled out some towels. Wrapping one around Eryn, he kissed her gently and she wrapped one around his waist. Stroking her cheek, he pulled her down onto the day bed and into his arms. He pulled the blanket she had brought up earlier over them both. “Are you ok?” he asked looking down at her. She turned and looked at him. “No more secrets, right?” she said, causing Taron to panic. She shook her head and ran her fingers over his furrowed brow, which was now becoming her thing. “It’s a good one, I promise” she said softly.  
Suddenly shy, she looked at the bed as she spoke “That was the first time...” Taron looked confused, she didn’t mean it was her first time, he knew that. He felt stupid when it finally dawned on him. “You don’t mean?” he asked. She looked at him coyly “Omg Taron, really?? Do I have to spell it out” She cried? He grinned “I want to hear you say it” he smiled cheekily. She straightened herself so she was looking directly at him. “That was the first... Orgasm I have ever had” she reddened. He raised an eyebrow, grinning “Really?” rolling her eyes Eryn nodded.  
He leant forward and kissed her. “Thank you for trusting me Eryn” Taron breathed. She smiled back at him “No flashbacks” she shrugged. “what none?” he asked “None” she began to well up. But Taron wipes her eyes, shaking his head “No tears baby” he said “not anymore”


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19  
Eryn rolled over in bed, surprised to feel she wasn’t alone. She glanced at the clock and was amazed it was 9am. Taron wasn’t exactly an early bird, but since lockdown he had tried to maintain some sort of regime and Eryn was used to being jostled as he got up to go for his normal morning run. Taron had attempted to get her to join him, but he was never going to drag Eryn out of bed before 10am. She was too used to working freelance and avoiding being subject to others daily routines.  
She rolled over, dropping her head under the duvet she stroked her cheek against his stomach, she then kissed the soft skin and draw circles with her index finger around his belly button. Taron murmured, his hand reaching down and running through her hair. Eryn moved up his body, leaving sweet kisses as she went, up his chest. Her hands ran over his body, taking time to explore. She ran her fingertips over his nipples and through the hair on his chest. Her lips continued up his neck and to the smile on his lips.  
“Good morning to you too” he said sleepily. His eyes opening a crack and reacting to the morning light. He hands ran over Eryn’s curves and he breathed in her aroma. “I like this” she smiled “But what happened? You not running today?” Taron exhaled and stretched his arms above his head, showing off his taught bicep muscles. Eryn couldn’t resist reaching up and squeezing them, making Taron laugh. Eryn simply mouthed “what??” in response. “But really, Are you ok?” Eryn asked.  
The last few days had been increasingly frustrating. The lockdown, now loosing its novelty and opportunity to do all the things that had been impossible, time wise was losing its sheen. Both Eryn and Taron knew they were spending too much time, in each other’s pockets. They were becoming narky with each other and those little habits we all have, became more and more irritating. Eryn would take herself to her favourite spot on the roof and Taron to the office. Both would sulk and grumble, communicating on WhatsApp despite being in the same place and ultimately by bedtime, they would have forgiven each other, and another day would begin.  
Taron rolled onto his side, as Eryn moved herself to face him. He stroked her cheek. “I’m just a bit fed up babe” he admitted “I’m not used to all this free time, I guess I feel a bit well useless right now” he sucked in his bottom lip. Eryn nodded “I know, me too” then a look crossed Eryn’s face. “I know, how about we swap, for a day?” she smiled. But Taron looked confused “For the next 24 hrs I shall be Taron Egerton, superstar actor” she grinned climbing out of bed and opening his wardrobe. Taron turned leaning against the headboard with his hands behind his head, he continued to watch Eryn. She pulled her pyjama shots off and pulled on a pair of his boxers. Twerking a little cheekily, making Taron guffaw. The sparkle in his eyes returning. She then found a pair of his skinny jeans and pulled them on, along with a vest top and finally wandered over to the wardrobe. At which point Taron climbed out of bed and wandered over. “Ok ok … lets do this properly” he grinned, kissing Eryn on the cheek and pulling a Hawaiian shirt from the hangers.  
Eryn grinned “Yes!!!” she laughed and pulled it on, it was comically baggy on her and she loved it. “Right what else?” she said looking in the cupboard “Oh where’s the old favourite?” she asked looking around the room. She darted out of the bedroom and returned with Taron’s trademark twenty-two baseball cap on. Taron groaned “Old favourite??” She took his hand and led him to her drawers. “Your turn” she chuckled as she pulled a thong from her drawer and spun it.  
“Really?” Taron looked at her biting the inside of his lip “he looked in the drawer and pulled out her spanx “Think these are more me” he laughed. Eryn grabbed them and pushed them under the rest as Taron burst into laughter. She pulled out a red lace bra, she knew Taron would go for. She walked over to him and her put out his arms, so she could put them through the straps. No matter how much she tried though she was unable to close the bra at the back over Taron’s broad frame and fell on to the bed laughing.  
Taron smiled, he hadn’t seen Eryn laugh so much and was loving every minute of the silliness. “No bra for you, Ms Riley” she laughed as he found a normal pair of knickers and swapped his boxers for them. They were pretty tight and accentuated his bum perfectly. Eryn found this to be a very sexy look and had to shake a few tingles away. This hadn’t escaped Taron’s notice either. He opened the wardrobe and readjusted himself out of view. “dress or jeans?” he asked. “Dress of course!!” Eryn called now sat cross legged on the bed.  
Congratulating herself inside, for the idea. She watched as Taron pulled her favourite Maxi dress over his head and pulled on a pair of her ballet pumps. He swirled around, raising an eyebrow “So Mr Egerton… will I do?” he said walking over to the bed, where Eryn was laughing hysterically. He leant forward and kissed her, pushing her back onto the bed. “You’re so pretty” she teased “I know” he replied “ I’m beautiful” he smiled. She giggled as she returned his kiss. “I mean I’m Eryn Riley, right?” he grinned. Eryn rolled her eyes, “You can be so cheesy, you know that?” she asked he nodded and kissed her again.  
“This was a good idea” he admitted, “but then again seeing as you are me, that means it was my idea” he laughed “ I always do have the best ideas” he said grandly, as Eryn smacked him on the bum “hey” he admonished “How dare you?” he feigned offense “Is that how you treat a lady?” Eryn kissed him again, a grin fixed on her lips.  
“Now all we need to do is your hair and make-up” Eryn declared “No …nope” Taron said suddenly getting up and running out of the room, “no chance” he goaded. Eryn burst into tears, she grabbed her make up bag and headed off to try and catch him.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20  
As the months passed, Eryn and Taron fell into a steady rhythm. Lockdown became less and less severe and freedoms returned. Meaning Taron was able to finally book some work and Eryn had to re consider her sabbatical. She was writing a lot now; her writers block having been cleared by the welsh air or possibly the welsh boy. Things had really begun to settle for her, though she still struggled with daily flashbacks and even more so, being honest about how much they happened. She poured them into her writing and found her new spot on the roof terrace, a real writing heaven. She could watch the world go by and enjoy all the creature comforts.  
It was during one such writing session that she was surprised by Taron dropping a sheet of paper on her laptop. She picked it up and read, her face dropping a little and she frowned. “Therapy?” she cringed and moved the paper. “Eryn, I know we have talked about this before, but…” Taron tried. “Exactly, we have spoken about this and you know that I have done years and years of bloody therapy, to get nowhere forward, what’s this doctor got that the others haven’t” she huffed. Turning to her screen, pretending to type. Taron got up and kissed Eryn on the cheek, “Probably not the best time to talk is it” He said and began to head downstairs “Taron” she stopped him. Shutting the laptop. He walked back over and sat in his favourite position, behind her with her in between his legs. His arms around her waist. Eryn loved this position to, making her feel enclosed by him, safe. “ I know you want to help honey, I just …” she sighed breaking off “I’m not trying to push you to do anything” he said resting his head on her shoulder “I just think you need more than this” he said gesturing to the Laptop and I am always going to listen, but Eryn” He said earnestly “I feel bad, I can listen but what can I do?” he exhaled heavily “I know there are still things you don’t talk about, even to me”  
She rested her head on Taron’s chest and picked up the paper again, scanning the information. “This guy has an excellent understanding of EUPD and attachment” Taron hoped that Eryn reading the information was a good sign. He had spent a long time online looking at the different therapies. “Music and Drama therapy?” she commented “Well I haven’t done anything like that I guess” she smiled slightly. “And who’s paying the exorbitant fee’s this guy charges, please don’t say you Taron” she added. “Eryn, come on are we going to argue about money, really?? that’s so boring” he moaned “ Can’t we just say it’s a joint thing, as it will be for us both really, I mean our relationship” he stroked her arm, nonchalantly. The conversations around money always irked him, he had all this money, but he was never able to spend it on those he cared about. He wasn’t trying to buy anyone or say anything. He just wanted to share out his money with those around him. Eryn could feel his irritation and knew he struggled with her need for independence. She had never been cared for, always caring for herself and that also meant moneywise. She was also the giver usually and found it hard to be the receiver.  
She swallowed her pride “Well I guess in that case you better make an appointment?” she smiled “Really?” Taron beamed getting excited he kissed Eryn on the neck and cheek. Moving from his seat his crouched in front of her “Don’t do it just because of me though please” he was concerned. “No, babe you’re right, I can’t keep all of it buried” She said Kissing him. She still felt those butterflies go crazy as their lips met and that familiar sizzle of heat. Taron grinned, patting her leg. He ran off down the stairs.  
Eryn sighed, raising the lid of the laptop. She typed in music and drama therapy and decided to read up on what was to come. As she began, she saw him again. Sat in A and E, her arms badly cut, wrapped in bandages and stuck with plasters. All that she could find at home. He was frantically telling her not to tell the staff why she had cut herself so badly. Eryn lay on her side on the deck as the flashes hit her, holding her arms. She focussed on an image of Taron, of his smile. Staring from the top of his head she visualised his hair, the little curls and how it got fuzzy after it was washed. She moved her eyes down his forehead, smoothing the creases and down to his eyes. Whenever she did this, she rarely got further than his eyes.  
Her breathing had slowed down, and no more images came. She sighed. Sitting herself upright again, she drank her water and leaving her laptop. Wandered downstairs. Taron was sat watching something on Tv and she joined him, snuggling up. He smiled at her, but he sensed something wasn’t quite right. Turning down the volume, he gave her a look that Eryn knew meant talk to me. They had always had something of a sixth sense with each other, but this had only become stronger the more they got to know each other and spend time with each other.  
Eryn ran her hand down her arm, then taking Taron’s hand ran his over her scars. He stopped her at her wrist. He pulled his hand gently free and began to run his fingers over the lines on her arms. “we’ve never really talked about these have we?” he said feeling Eryn’s tension release, he knew he had managed somehow to know what she was leading to or trying to say. “You’ve never asked me” he nodded. “Honestly, I figured that you would talk about it when you were ready, like now I guess” he replied. Eryn began to explain how she first started self-harming as a teen. She spoke about her general childhood up to then and that things got worse when she was bullied at school. She explained how she actually began by accident, having hit her head out frustration and felt better, this carried on for a while, but scared of doing serious damage. She then broke a glass accidentally and her mind seemed to zone in on the sharp edges, before even thinking she used the sharp edge to draw a line on the back of her left arm. It left a white scratch, but she wasn’t happy with that and continued to use the blunt glass until it was red. She felt better she explained, she felt like freak, but she got a rush from it.  
Taron listened quietly, stroking her arm as she spoke. She continued to tell herself harm story, how it became a control and a way to deal with her emotions. She explained how it escalated at university to full cutting the skin, seeing the blood was she tried to help Taron understand important. It was difficult to explain and she worried Taron wouldn’t get it. After all, she didn’t fully understand it herself, she knew that seeing and feeling the blood made her feel better, that’s all she knew. As the afternoon went on Eryn was able to talk freely and Taron asked a number of questions. He had seen self -harmers before, in fact at drama school a friend was a one, but it was never really spoken of. He also admitted sadly that he had seen some fans with similar markings on their arms, when he was doing signings and things. Not only did the conversation make him feel closer to Eryn, he had a knew understanding of what some of his fans were dealing with. He was grateful to Eryn for her insight. She really was brave.  
There was a burning question left on Taron’s mind “When did you do it last?” he asked not sure he wanted to know. But Eryn smiled “Since I walked away from Phil” adding it up she grinned “nearly a year”. Taron smiled back but dropped his eyes as he asked her “So never since we…” Eryn stroked Taron’s jaw, he raised his eyes to look into hers as she shook her head “Not once” she smiled softly and before she could say anything he planted a strong and deep kiss on her lips, making her gasp. He let go of the tension he hadn’t realised he had built up. “Taron” she pushed him back a little, concerned “I … can’t promise I won’t ever … fall again” she admitted, and Taron nodded. “You understand it’s a habit now and it’s not that I don’t feel the urge anymore, it’s just I fight it” she waited to see what Taron’s response would be. He nodded understanding “Even more reason to try the therapy?” he asked, and Eryn smiled, rolling her eyes, she nodded. Taron returned to kissing Eryn and soon, all of the talk was forgotten as they fell into each other and enjoyed each other.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21  
“omg” Eryn couldn’t stand still at the arrival hall, she jumped up and down. When she saw her, she ran and grabbed her best friend around the waist. “You’re here! You’re fucking here” She screamed caring nothing about the scene she was creating. Henny too squealed and grabbed her friend, tightly. “How dare you fucking leave me Henny bird” Eryn complained, grabbing the trolley with her luggage “Fill me in about New York, Is it all we ever dreamed?” Eryn and Henny had been friends since they were 13 and had bonded over their favourite band. They lived miles apart even then, but they spent every chance they got with each other. They rang up enormous phone bills and even when they were chased off the home phone collected pennies to run to the phone box down the street for another chance to chat and provide support for each other.  
They were both the victims of the school bullies and Eryn was strengthened by Henny’s family, She was mothered and fathered by Henny’s parents, even though she was deemed a ‘bad influence’ Henny’s family dynamics were all Eryn had craved and never forgot the kindness of Henny’s parents. Even though Henny had a younger sister, she had become another of ‘the girls’ and spent so much time there, she felt like one of them. She walked the dog; baby sat the youngest even when Henny wasn’t there. It was Henny’s teacher parents who taught her the importance of education and helped her pick out a university. She hadn’t even considered what her future would be or how to get there before they got involved, asking questions her parents never bothered with.  
Henny and Eryn were inseparable right up through Uni and after until, Henny landed her Dream job at a television company in New York. Both girls had been obsessed with New York, Eryn dreaming of writing for one of the newspapers, or scripts for the TV show’s henny would produce and present. They spent days writing and acting out their work. Blaring their favourite band from the speakers and attending any and all events the Boys were doing. It was the height of their fame and the girls couldn’t imagine a happier existence, than surrounded by fans, dancing and singing along to the tunes, screaming and laughing.  
Seeing each other so much less, was hard but at least technology had caught up. They didn’t have to pour their wages direct to the phone and travel companies. They had no one nagging about how long they had been on the phone or who had called who. This particular issue had them tricking their parents, pretending each called the other.   
Eryn nudged her friend, a massive grin on both faces “Never mind New York, tell me about Taron?” said Henny. “Only you could go to the farthest part of Wales and bring back a hot celebrity actor” she laughed “Only you Ren”. Eryn laughed to “Right?” she replied “ It’s like they say when you stop looking for it , love comes along” she sighed “Fuck me, Love????” gawped Henny “Are you already talking love, babe?” she looked a little concerned “You have yet to receive the H approval remember?” she smiled “Besides, don’t you think you should take it slow, after all… what with that fucker Phil and all” she growled at his name. Eryn looked at her best friend “You know me, I fall in love at the snap of a finger” she said clicking her fingers and sighed “But I think when you meet Taron, you will get it” she grinned. As they arrived at the car and put all Henny’s bags in the back. Henny stopped and pulled Eryn into a massive hug. “I’ve wanted to do this, so bad, Babs” she said “I am so sorry, for what that cunt did to you, I should have been…” Henny broke off “Shut up Henny” Eryn answered “You were here, just not physically” she continued, squeezing her friend tight.  
“Come on Lesbo” she cheeked Henny, who slapped her bum. “talking of which, how is your love life?” Eryn smiled getting into the driving seat. “Whose car is this? “Henny suddenly asked “and since when did you drive anyway?” she added Eryn laughed A lot’s changed Babs, it’s Taron’s car, not mine” she giggled. Henny checked the car out, “oh most importantly” she said and turned the stereo ‘more than a woman’ began to play “Bee Gee’s” not bad she nodded. “Okay, one Henny point” she chuckled “Remind me how many Henny points gets your seal of approval” said Eryn gesticulating at a cyclist, who decided to dice with his life. “Fucking London traffic” she mumbled “You should see New York” added Henny “I reckon 100 ought to be about right” Henny announced finally. “Fuck me Henny, that’s a big number, do some things count as more than one?” she laughed.  
The rest of the journey consisted of the friends, discussing the rules around Henny’s system of approval. The girls giggling and falling easily back into their relationship. It had been created on them living at a distance and this really helped them when they had to be away from each other now. Eryn mused on the way she coped with Henny being away and her fears over missing Taron, once he began work ran through her mind. ‘Maybe’ she thought, she was worrying over nothing. This had come into sharp focus, knowing a date was now set in Taron’s diary for a new film project. She knew her luxurious days of having him around all the time, was soon coming to an end.  
They pulled up in the underground garage. Grabbing some bags each and still giggling they travelled up the lift. Henny’s eyes grew large when she pressed the penthouse button. Eryn nodded in agreement “Crazy I know” she smiled “Ok, Ok. That’s a good 5 Henny points right there” she grinned. “Ok” Eryn laughed “Taron has this in the bag” she said “But not because he’s pretentious or anything, he won’t even call it the ‘penthouse” she added. “Really, my god I would tell the world”.  
As the lift opened, Taron was stood waiting. For no reason whatsoever. Both girls burst into laughter. Taron looked perplexed and a little scared. “Hi” he said tentatively “Henny?” he smiled at the red head, who nodded and grabbed Taron in a hug “At last, Taron, she’ won’t shut the fuck up about you, it’s about time I met you” Henny laughed, especially as Eryn groaned and reddened. “You too Helen” he laughed as they broke apart. “Henny call me Henny please” she smiled as they entered the apartment. She gasped. Taron meanwhile pulled you to him and kissed your check, taking the cases from you he whispered “I like her” he said mischievously. “This place is massive, Wowzah” Henny exclaimed. “Alright Hen, c’mon you have a pretty cool loft in the states” Eryn stated. Henny nodded “It’s not quite the ‘penthouse’” she mocked, and Taron shot a look at Eryn “Yes, she told me” she said.   
“Fuck” groaned Eryn dramatically “I am really in for it this week, aren’t I?”. Taron and Henny looked at her and simultaneously replied “Yup” “Oh def.”.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22  
Wetwetwet “wishing I was lucky” burst out of the stereo, That morning. It had become the norm for Henny and Eryn to blare out their old fav’s while making breakfast and plans for the day. Poor Taron had rather lost his girlfriend that week, Eryn taking Henny to all her favourite spots and plays. He didn’t mind, seeing Eryn and Henny together gave him peace, seeing the grins on the girl’s faces and seeing Eryn so light and happy.  
He got down to all the work he had piled in the office and sang along to himself as he heard the girls, singing and giggling down the hall. But today was different Henny had plans for the next two days back home, with family. The girls were getting in their last few hours in before she left. She would be back in two days. But only for another 24 hrs before the big apple beckoned again. The week had gone so fast.  
“Right” Henny said hugging Eryn at Euston, “You go and enjoy that sumptuous boyfriend of yours, Babs” she continued “He’s been far too neglected since I have been here” she sighed kissing Eryn on the cheek “Oh and how’s his score ?” Eryn asked with a smirk “Oh c’mon girl… you know he hit the high 90’s yesterday” she laughed “You are such a tease Henny, poor T” Eryn joined her friend in laughing at her friend’s ‘Boyfriend test’  
“Well we know he’s no cheater now” she shrugged “Hen, I knew that before you foofed your bangers at him” Eryn smiled. “nah Babs, he’s a good en” she smiled sadly. “Like Karin” said Eryn referring to Henny’s long-term girlfriend, raising a groan from Henny. “I know, I know” she smiled. Eryn hung around until the train was no longer in sight and turned to the tube.  
As she rode back to her stop, she smiled. This week had been brilliant and just what she needed. But Henny was right, she was going to take the next two days to give Taron the attention he’d lost out on. She daydreamed as she walked up to the flat and into the lift.  
Her phone rang as she got to the door and she saw her agents name. Taking the call as she walked into the apartment, she nodded and agreed to Jess, Her agent. Taron came out of the office, hearing her voice and dropped onto the sofa, picking up his glasses and book. He pretended to read as he eavesdropped. When she finished Eryn was grinning and landed next Taron on the sofa, she took his book from his hands and threw it across the room. Much to Taron’s chagrin. She firmly kissed Taron and dismissed his annoyance at his book’s treatment. She ran her hands into his hair and his immediately wrapped around her as she pulled him near. She moved quickly to his neck biting and pulling at his skin.  
Taken surprise, Taron allowed Eryn to take charge as she looked at him her eyes full of lust. Pulling off his top and soon after her own, she pulled out her ponytail letting her long, blonde cascade down her back. Turning Taron on the way she knew so well. He coughed and moved in his seat as she smiled seductively at him. Moving forward Taron pulled Eryn toward him, eager to feel her lips again. Eryn tugged at Taron’s belt accidently pulling him off the sofa onto the floor, they both laughed, and he finished the job. Pulling off his jeans and boxers, Eryn pulled her knickers free of her feet and discarded them.  
Taron ran his hands up the back of her thighs, and over the curves of her backside. Under her short skirt, he ran his hands around the front teasing her. His head was deep in her breasts, as he kissed and stroked her skin and nipples. She closed her eyes, feeling every touch he made, the electricity running through her veins. She gripped his biceps as she felt his fingers between her legs, teasing her. Trapping his hand with her legs. He grinned lifting his head, He took hers in his free hand and kissed her hard, making her legs loosen, she felt them inside her, caressing her. Hitting her right where he knew she would turn to putty.  
She ran her nails over his scalp, sending shivers down his spine and stopping his concentration momentarily. She bit her lip, sending him crazy. He slipped his fingers out and lining himself up, he pushed himself strongly into her, making her gasp and arch her back. “Shit” she breathed audibly making Taron laugh “That bad? He raised his eyebrows as she scowled, sucking in her bottom lip. “How about if I do this? He growled as he thrust deeper, rotting his hips. All Eryn could do was nod.  
She ran her nails over his legs and gripped his hips, willing him deeper still as every movement was exhilarating her entire nervous system. She could feel her orgasm coming and her breath held as it washed over her. She felt his cock twitch and she gripped him tight inside. Feeling him lose it, was incredible and seeing the ecstasy on his face was all she ever wanted to see. He collapsed on her, his chest heavy and breathing strong. He kissed her neck gently. “Who called you?” Eryn laughed at the question “what?” she asked “Well I need to thank them” he laughed as he rolled to the side, pulling her close. Eryn chuckled “My agent” she smiled “I’m getting published” she grinned.  
Taron nodded, “Ok” he breathed nodding. “Bout right then” he chuckled.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23  
Eryn couldn’t stop her foot tapping the floor, Henny and Taron sat quietly either side of her as she tried to focus her breathing. Taron’s hand resting on her knee. The Doctor called her name and she held her breath as she stood. She had decided to go in on her own. It was a routine check on the injuries she sustained during the attack, nothing more. But she hated anything medical and this was no different. Taron squeezed her hand as she walked in the door.  
She lay back on the bed, as the female doctor examined her. She checked the facial wounds and had Eryn move in different ways to check that all her movements were back to normal. She confirmed that her bruising had now gone, and she was left with just silvery white lines, were the cuts had been. The doctor asked about the non-physical injuries and was pleased to hear that she had an appointment with the psychotherapist Taron had found.  
Then the doctor’s expression changed. “Eryn” she said, “Do you remember the scans and tests you had?” she continued as Eryn nodded. “Well, I am afraid that I have so difficult news” Eryn gulped, taking a deep breath she prepared herself. But as the doctor began, she found her words blurred. Words began to stick out, but whole sentences were lost. She nodded anyway as her brain tried to process. “Too much damage” she repeated in her head. “only option left” all flickered around her head. She heard herself say “Thank you, I understand” looking at the sympathetic face of the doctor, she stood and walked through the door.  
In her daze she walked straight passed Henny and Taron. Almost at a run she left the building, panting and hyperventilating. She arrived at the car and unlocked it, having been the one to drive them to the clinic. Taron and Henny soon appeared, having run after her. She sat in the driver’s seat as tears ran down her cheeks. Taron quickly grabbed her hand to prevent her starting the car “Babe, give me the key, let me drive” Taron said. Henny, who had climbed into the back seat and sat behind her, massaged Eryn’s shoulders “Come on Babs, come get in the back with me” she said softly.  
Eryn robotically got out of the driver seat and walked to the back-seat door; Henny scooted over. But not before Taron and Henny shot each other concerned looks. Taron climbed across the gear stick and pulled the front doors shut, starting the car as Henny pulled the passenger door shut and helped Eryn put on her seat belt. Henny spoke softly to Eryn the entire journey home. Taron concentrating on driving, all manner of possible fears ran through his mind. He had seen Eryn mid flashback and in hysterical tears, but never like this.  
Once they pulled up at the apartment, Eryn allowed Henny to hold her arm as the headed into the penthouse. Taron went to the kitchen and began making tea, not knowing what else to do. Henny took Eryn into the bedroom, where Eryn climbed fully clothed into the bed. “Eryn Babs” Henny urged “What happened in there?” Eryn looked at her friend as tears escaped her eyes. But couldn’t put the words together. Taron came in and placed the hot, sweet tea on the side. Looking to Henny to see if he should stay or go. Henny got up and walked with Taron out to the landing. “She’s not talking to me” said Henny sadly. “Maybe she’ll open to you” she said. “I will go order us some food” she said. Taron was grateful for someone else to be there, to share the worry. He smiled sadly at Henny “Ok, sounds like a good idea”. He sighed and walked over to the bed, He crawled in behind Eryn. His arms moving into their usual place around her waist.  
He rested his head on her shoulder and kissed her cheek gently. After a while Eryn sat up and sipped the tea. Taron looked at her, his brow furrowed, he wanted to feel her hands smoothing it as she usually did. But instead she simply stared at the liquid in her mug. He rested his head on her shoulder and sighed. “How bad is it?” he said softly. She looked at him “Bad enough” she replied “Ok, so what do we do about it?” he asked. Eryn knew Taron too well and realising her mistake, stroked his fringe. “I’m not dying or anything” she said. Taron relaxed a little. “Ok” he exhaled.  
“I can’t” she continued “Taron, I need some time, with this… I think” she mumbled. Taron nodded and pulled her to him. “Ok, babe it’s okay” he continued to stroke her head as he shot a concerned look at Henny. Who had hovered in the doorway? She now shut the door leaving the two alone.  
Sometime later, the three sat eating pizza and chatting while music played. Eryn lay on Taron’s lap as they laughed and joked. Sharing embarrassing stories of Eryn, making her cringe. It was a great atmosphere, but the elephant was there in the room with them. The conversation came to a natural stop as Henny got up to get another beer. Eryn not knowing if it was the beer or the safety of the group blurted it out “I won’t be able to have children” she heard herself saying. Shaking her head internally at herself.  
Taron and Henny froze, looking to each other. Eryn buried her head in Taron’s lap. Henny moved straight to her friend, dropping to her knee next to her, she stroked her hair. Taron sat in shock too, blinking hard, his heart raced with panic. Not knowing how to react. He swallowed hard and rested his hand on her back, stroking it. “Sorry” she mumbled into Taron’s knees “Shit, sorry I don’t know why I…” she began. “Screw that” said Henny breaking the tension.  
“Sit up Babs” she demanded, and Eryn followed her friend’s instructions. She sat up next to Taron, who grabbed her hand and squeezed it hard. Tears in his eyes. “Right, now start at the beginning” Henny continued. Eryn explained the doctor’s words, the fact that Phil hadn’t used the knife just to cut her face, he had used it to rape her too. It had done too much damage and her only option was a full hysterectomy to deal with the damage. She went on explaining the effect of the operation on her body and the obvious outcome of having your womb removed.  
Unable to hear anymore, Taron got up suddenly and headed to his office, shutting the door behind him. Henny and Eryn could see through the frosted glass as he dropped into his chair and heard the desperate sobbing cries. Henny Stood Eryn up and walked her up to the garden. Eryn yearned to be with Taron, to hold him. But Henny was adamant, “He needs time, like you did to get his head around what you said” she told her friend kindly. “I mean fuck Eryn, I need some... you threw that shit right out there” she laughed. Eryn smiled sadly “Yeah I kinda did… fuck … sorry” she dropped her head into her hands. “I just…” “Eryn it’s cool. It’s how you do things, you just don’t bother with a preamble, I think I ought to know by now” Henny reassured her “Not sure Taron’s used to it just yet… that’s all”  
Eryn felt better having told them, but she felt guilty having dropped it on them, the way she had. She was still desperate to check on Taron, but knew Henny was right. “Eryn” Henny said “That fucking cunt, I tell you if I see that fucker ever again... I swear I am doing fucking time” she stormed. “I know Hen, I know” Eryn groaned. Tears beginning to well in her eyes and drew lines in her foundation. “Shit Sorry Eryn” Henny cried seeing her friend, she wrapped her arms around her.  
“Well that’s two of us” Came a voice from the top of the stairs. Taron had appeared and walked over to the girls. He rubbed Eryn’s shoulder and sat next to her. Eryn pulled him into a tight hug, whispering “I am SO sorry” into his ear. He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have run off” he said meekly. “I think I will leave you two to talk” Henny smiled and headed inside “I have to pack anyway”.  
Eryn laid her head on Taron’s shoulder as they sat in silence for a while, “Just do me one favour Eryn” Taron asked. She nodded “Anything” “Don’t ever tell me to leave ok?” she looked at him. “I know it’s what you’re thinking” he replied looking into her eyes. “You’re going to tell me to find someone who can have kids, right?” he said “That cliché, yeah you want to tell me I deserve someone who can give me what I need, what I want, tell me that’s not been what you have been thinking, since that doctor told you” he said sounding irritated and sad. “It’s a cliché, I guess because it’s true Taron. But if you don’t want me to say it…” she trailed off. “Or think it, feel it, believe it” Taron was crying now, his voice desperate “I don’t fucking care, Eryn” he managed, as Eryn held him, tight.  
“Taron I won’t pretend and I won’t lie” she said softly “But I am listening to you, if you are saying it’s not something you have even considered yet, then all I can promise is to believe you and trust that if you do, you tell me” she finished. “Taron, I don’t ever want you to resent me or think back on your life with what ifs” she looked at him as he nodded and composed himself. “It’s not like we are at a point where we ought to even be thinking about this stuff and yet all that’s happened since we met…”  
Eryn couldn’t find the words to explain her thoughts. She wanted to tell Taron that relationships usually went through hard times, but not at the start. At the start, things should be fun, playful and full of the light-hearted enjoyment of ‘new’, that she wouldn’t blame him for wanting that, wanting ‘normal. After all, it was what she craved and as was dismayed that it seemed like this was just how life seemed to be for her. It seemed like she was cursed. She knew what he would say, and it wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate the sentiments behind it, it was what everyone said and yet months on, again the same pattern would re occur. It was too much, it was more than they could handle, and another relationship was done with, Eryn’s heart was broken again and another barrier went up.  
She looked at Taron, remembering her warning’s not to get involved and admonished herself for letting him in, for falling for him and exposing him to what she had begun to see as her own toxicity. Taron stroked her forehead, copying her trademark. “Why don’t you share those thoughts” he said simply. “Because I know you are creating what you think is what I think and feel in there, Eryn” he continued “How do you know it’s right?, do I get a chance to put you right?” he asked. And he was of course correct.  
“I’m toxic Taron, I told you that” she began as Taron listened quietly. She outlined it all, all her fears and thoughts, what she believed he thought and felt, Taron stayed quiet until she finished. “Eryn, you’re right we haven’t been together for too long and that’s why I’m trying hard not to be hurt that you think that I’m like ‘ all the others’, I thought you knew enough about me, to know that, not everyone thinks like that” he sighed Making sure to keep looking into her eyes as he spoke, hoping it would somehow make her believe his words. Eryn listened and tried to believe, she trusted Taron, she did. But her brain fought against it, in a self-protective reflex.  
“Eryn, you’re right we haven’t had the fun and light start to things, that most people get. That’s not to say that it’s been all hard either, at least I don’t think so” he smiled thinking about things “but that doesn’t mean we don’t still have time for all that, even with this and Eryn why compare us to anyone or anything else, I love you, I want to be with you, you are everything to me and if you still feel the same surely that’s all that matters” Eryn was taken aback by the passionate way Taron spoke.  
“why are you always right?” Eryn groaned “I don’t like it” she smiled slightly, Taron too smiled He pulled her tightly “It’s me and you against the world, didn’t you know that?” he chuckled. “And I’m not Always right, just most of the time” he conceded. Eryn breathed him in and felt herself relax “I know I have to stop comparing and assuming nothing is different” she admitted Taron pulled back and looked at her. “Don’t beat yourself up with that, I think we all do it, even me” he smiled “ Just no more trying to protect me, by pushing me away ok” he asked “I promise I will try and if I do it without realising, you have my permission to call me on it, ok” she smiled kissing him on the cheek.  
“So, what now?” he asked. Eryn looked confused “You have to have an Op or something?” Eryn realised that even she wasn’t sure “Okay, how about we get you an appointment with a private doctor and they can walk us through everything together” Taron suggested. Eryn baulked at the word ‘private’ knowing it meant money, but keeping her promise to Taron, she knew she would let him do what he felt he wanted to do, besides if it meant a quicker surgery and better outcomes, she’d certainly take it.  
Taron and Eryn headed inside to find Henny. Being her last night in the UK, they wanted to make it special and had booked a table at Celeb favourite NoBu. Kissing Eryn sweetly before jumping in the shower, Eryn headed to Henny’s room. She was about ready for a girlie getting ready sesh and Henny had the champagne on ice ready.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24  
Henny had been back in the states, for a week and the therapy appointment loomed. The big blue circle on the calendar taunted Eryn. Though she hoped it was going to help, the idea of yet more therapy did not fill her with excitement.  
She sat with Taron watching the television, every now and then she would shout at it, getting involved in the story. They were watching her favourite, cold cases and unsolved police files. She would get animated when she thought the police were missing obvious clues and commented throughout. Taron lay stretched out with Eryn’s head resting on his lap or stomach. He found it adorable the way she called out the people on Tv and smiled at every comment. Eryn blushed when she became aware of his eyes and swatted him when he smiled cheekily at her.  
But really, she loved these moments. Soft, homely moments with just the two of them enjoying time together, no pressure and no drama. Except on the Tv screen. Taron wore his glasses so he could see what was on the screen, but only after Eryn nagged him. She wore glasses all the time and couldn’t understand his aversion to them. She found him very sexy in them and tried to get him over his hang up, but like the changes in his body shape when he was in and out of training. He, like everyone had those areas he was sensitive about. It didn’t matter that they were the exact things that attracted and enamoured her. It often left her trying to think of ideas to have him feel better.  
That night was a big night for Taron and Eryn, it was his first premiere since lockdown and first with Eryn by his side. They had had to have a long discussion about whether Eryn should even go. She worried that her background situation would affect his image and that it could overshadow the movie. But Taron had used all his powers of persuasion including a few other people to assure her that it was going to be fine. Taron was adamant that he wanted to show her off, he wanted the world to know they were together, and Eryn couldn’t disagree with the fact that it would maybe stop them making up stuff.  
So, at 2pm, the hair and make-up teams arrived and began setting up, Eryn had chosen her outfit with Taron’s style coach already and was nervous to try it on. Being larger than most girls, she had seen on the red carpet, she knew today was going to be hard on her self-esteem and chosen the dress that made her feel the most confident. She wasn’t one to avoid bright colours and be subtle. But tonight, she went with a midnight blue gown that accentuated her hourglass figure and amble bust. She had decided on a classic Hollywood curl in her hair, that was clipped with a beautiful sparkling hair piece that appeared to hold it in place. In reality it was a decent amount of product and hair pins that held it rock solid on her head. She sat watching the make – up artist enjoying the experience, when Taron appeared smiling.  
She was still in the sweatpants and hoodie, sat cross legged on the chair. But he was in his Armani suit already, looking extremely dapper. He sat his jacket off, next to her as the other artist began to apply foundation to his face. He leant across and squeezed her knee. “You look stunning” he breathed. She smiled and did her best to stay still letting the artist finish, she ran off to finish as time sped on. But soon she was ready and emerged from the bedroom, walking as upright and confident as possible. Taron’s face was a picture of love and pride as he walked the red carpet, holding tight to him all night. Eryn was amazed at the reaction she received, despite struggling with the flashing lights of the media, she felt like a child as her excitement took hold. Seeing all the stars she loved and adored, she would squeeze his hand every time someone came to say ‘Hello’ to them. But soon it began to overwhelm her, and Taron was aware that she was getting quieter as the night went on.  
Taron suggested getting a drink and disappeared leaving Eryn stood alone. It was now that a blonde gentleman smiled and walked over, he introduced himself as Deputy Assistant director Greg Short. She chatted with the guy and laughed at his jokes. As she continued to chat, she noticed over his shoulder Taron, talking and interacting with a dark haired woman. She was slim and wearing a gorgeous black dress, she was truly beautiful, and Eryn could help but feel a prickle of Jealousy. She also felt annoyed that rather than get her the drink he said he was getting; he was talking to this woman.  
She decided to focus on Greg, rather than let herself become emotional and over think as she usually would. But the way that the woman Taron was with behaved around him and he with her bugged Eryn, he was a touchy-feely guy, she told herself. But she was definitely flirting with him, her hands were all over him and then he leaned over and kissed her cheek. Eryn excused herself and began to walk away from the area, looking for a ladies to cool down in. She found one and headed inside, sat in the stall. She told herself off, she was overreacting.  
“OMG did you see the state of that thing with Taron Egerton” Eryn heard from outside the stall. “Oh yes, wow what a heffa, what on earth does he see in her?” they laughed “ I know and what is she wearing, I mean Primark sale items are hardy red carpet style” said the first girl “Maybe it’s a charity date?” the second added “You mean like make a wish? Take a spastic day” both burst into laughter. Eryn sat rigid, tears in her eyes as she looked at her Armani gown. “I mean what is she thinking? He could do so much better” the second girl continued as they left the ladies. Eryn emerged just in time to shoot them a look of scorn. She wiped her eyes in the mirror and took her phone from her clutch. Dialling uber.  
Leaving the ladies, she headed directly to the exit. When she felt a hand on her shoulder, it was a woman she knew very well and Eryn was taken a back as Deborah -Lee Furness, took her arm and walked her back into the event, and over to a corner. She explained quickly that she too had been in the ladies, heard it and saw her leave. She knew what Eryn would do and was determined to stop her. Deborah took Eryn to her table, handed her a glass of champagne and pointed Hugh out to her. She and Eryn chatted as Deborah explained to Eryn what it was like to date a heartthrob and a man who was kind and friendly to everyone. Eryn watched Hugh and soon understood what Deborah was trying to do, she thanked her. It wasn’t log before Eryn was comfortable enough to join in with the groups conversation and the champagne helped calm her.  
Hugh finally managed to drag himself back to his wife and Eryn was excited to meet him. Hugh had been one of her favourite actors for a long time and even though she knew he and Taron were friends, she had never let on her secret crush to him. She blushed as Hugh spoke to her complimenting her and talking about her as if he had been her best friend all his life. It was a while, but Taron finally spotted her and headed over. Taron and Hugh greeted each other, as did he and Deb. “Where did you go?” Taron spoke into Eryn’s ear sounding worried. Eryn was still cross about the flirty woman but thinking about Hugh and looking at Deb who smiled at her, she let it drop. “Deb and I got chatting in the ladies” she replied “Sorry” she replied. Taron was relieved to not only find her as he had been struggling for a while and worried that she had left, but he was also worried that she would be mad, if she had seen him with Emily.  
As it was, Eryn was yet to know that the mystery girl was in fact Taron’s ex-girlfriend.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25  
A pile of packages tumble onto the bed as Eryn grinned, “What is all this?” Taron laughed. “Retail therapy Taron” she squealed with delight as she began tearing open the packaging. “Ok” Taron sighed sitting back on the bed sipping his tea. It was like Christmas morning, parcels everywhere and an overly excited person opening her presents. She pulled out notebooks and pens, a whole mountain of exquisite stationary as she sighed happily. “Look some women like, shoes or bags” she grinned “I like stationary ok!” she stroked the iridescent glittery notepad. And rolled her eyes at Taron who just chuckled.  
Eryn took her fluffy pen and tickled his toes with it “Look I have my first bloody therapy session today, I needed something to curb the nerves” she admitted. Taron pushed her gently with her foot and she crawled up the bed to meet him, slipping easily into her spot. “You are going to do fine; it’s just getting the first one over” he assured her. “I know” she sighed looking up at him “I’ve been there got the fucking t-shirt, hat, mug and all the merch available” she smirked. She saw the look on Taron’s face “I will give it a proper go babe, don’t look at me like that” Taron stroked her arm “I know you will” he smiled lightly.  
He didn’t want to admit that he was a little concerned about the literature he had read about the therapy. He knew that it was bring up all the pain and trauma, it had to be destroyed like many of these things by being brought into the light. But with that meant Eryn could feel a hell of a lot worse before she felt better. He hoped that he was up to supporting her, knowing he was returning to work in a week didn’t help. Though the project was UK based and he didn’t have to travel or be away from home. He knew what these shoots were like, they weren’t 9 -5 and they were often gruelling. At least this wasn’t anything like Kingsman, but that was coming up and soon he would be in training.  
He knew he was over thinking as usual and tried to put it out of his mind. Eryn too had picked up on his restlessness. His tendency to drift of mid conversion or she would come across him just staring blankly. “right Welsh Boi” She cleared her throat, holding his cheeks she squished them and kissed his pouted lips “Tell me” she smiled Taron shook his head free and laughed “Tell you what?” he said “That I love you” he grinned “That I love that you make me laugh” he grinned and tickled her, making her crease up “That I love that smile” he continued. She hit him with the pillow “Oh ok Riley” he said wide eyed. She giggled as he grabbed the other pillow, throwing is across the bed as she ducked and hid at the end of the bed.  
He jumped off the bed and chased her as she ran around the bed and climbing back on it stood in the middle grabbing another pillow, Taron swatted her legs with his as she tried to jump, Eryn’s foot caught in the fabric of the duvet cover and she tumbled off the bed to the floor “Shit, Are you ok?” Taron called out rushing round to check on her. She lay flat on her back, the duvet twirled around her ankle and up her leg “No, not exactly” She guffawed “Help me” she whined at Taron. “Oh, I have you all tied up now” he said cheekily and crawled over to her. Her pyjama top had risen and exposed her stomach, Taron took advantage and bent down kissing it, making Eryn crease again. Squealing from the tickling she wriggled under him and the bedside lamp toppled of the dresser landing squarely on Taron’s head “Fuck” he exclaimed.  
Eryn grabbed the lamp chucking it on the bed she reached to Taron’s head and rubbed where it had hit, “Ok Get this thing off me, you need a cold compress for that” she said in her ‘Let’s be sensible now’ voice. Taron complied his head hurt, and he wanted all the nursing care he could squeeze from Eryn, knowing she was in her element when she was taking care of him. Free from the duvet, she went to the freezer, grabbing a bag of frozen peas and a tea towel. She returned to the bedroom and found Taron laid on the bed, on his stomach. He had a pillow to rest his head on, she sighed looking at him. She often found herself doing just that, marvelling not only on his perfection, but to remind her that he was hers. It made her stomach somersault and tingles hit all the fun spots.  
“Stop staring and sort me out” he complained “You’re the worst patient, you know that?” she answered. Laying the peas on his head, she noticed a small lump had formed. He cringed at the cold and sudden pressure to his head “Shush, baby” she cooed and getting him to hold the peas. She went to the bathroom and got a cup of water and some painkillers. Handing them to Taron, he nodded his thanks. She climbed up onto the bed and lay next to him. Resting her head on his side. “Now talk to me” she sighed.  
“What’s to say babe” he looked at her, almost dropping his peas. “I just worry about you” he said softly. Eryn nodded “I thought you said I was brave and strong” she replied. Taron thought for a moment. “You are” he nodded “I suppose I don’t always remember that, and I need to” he adjusted to a more comfortable position. “You’re over thinking aren’t you, trying to plan for all eventualities” she commented “yep, I know I do that far too much” he grimaced. Eryn stroked his face “yes, you do” she smiled. “But it’s because you’re you, if you didn’t, I don’t think you would be who you are” she looked into his eyes as she spoke “ You are so in tune with people Taron, you take the time to read them and not just on the outside, I see you all the time you never give lip service to anyone” he smiled at her, feeling the warmth of what she said fill his heart.  
“But you can’t take it all on, I’m not fragile and I won’t break. I can do this; you need to trust me” she said confidently. Though inside she knew she was overplaying it, not feeling as confident as she tried to sound, to reassure Taron. “Eryn, you don’t know how my schedule gets though, I want to be there for you” he said “well I’m going to have to get used to this schedule of yours sometime, Taron. Like it or not we can’t stay in this bubble forever” she sighed again and kissed him. “You can still be here for me and not actually be here you know?” she continued as he stroked her hair. He dropped the peas on the floor, fed up with holding them. He returned her kiss. “I do trust you Eryn and I meant it when I said you were brave and strong; you can do this” he smiled kissing her again.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26  
Eryn spent the first night after therapy, feeling fine. She knew that she had been building herself up over nothing. But this was just the first session and she had to prepare for the beginning of harder stuff. Taron had been so sweet, when she came home. Having insisted he stay behind, he had set the house up with candles and music, creating a romantic atmosphere all with home cooked meal. She and he had danced and supped expensive wine. Falling into bed, she was felt like a film star in a rom com, it was so perfect.  
But today, he was off to work. It was 5am and he was already banging around nervously in the kitchen. Eryn pushed the duvet back and padded into the kitchen. “Shit, sorry did I wake you?” he asked. Eryn pulled him into a hug, reaching behind him to turn the coffee machine setting down and pop the burning toast. “Chill out baby” she soothed. “Take a breath” she smiled looking into his stressed face. “It’s been just such a long time; I know it’s daft but what if I’m no good anymore?” he asked looking at his feet. “Taron David Egerton” Eryn said in her best teacher voice “Shut the fuck up” he laughed and hugged her.  
She kissed his neck, “Come on, you dick what are you making here anyway?” she took charge making the coffees and eggs on toast. The sat at the breakfast bar, nibbling on fruit and supping orange juice. Taron looked calmer and wasn’t wolfing his food as he usually did when he was stressed. He placed his hand on top of Eryn’s “You ring if you need me, yeah?” he said quietly. “ Really Welsh Boi, stop it, I will be ok” she sighed “I love that you care babe, but please don’t make yourself ill worrying” she smiled lifting his head so she could face him properly. Her face was soft, and Taron knew she was right, he had to let go a little. Maybe more than a little.  
Since the start he had been the one taking care of Eryn and he knew it was time to stop, to trust that she wouldn’t always need such intense support. He certainly didn’t want to suffocate her or have her feel like he was trying to control her, like Phil the fucker did. He had begun referring to him, at least in his own head to that cunt in this way for some time now) Even though it was all quiet on that front, the trial hovered in the background. An ever-present dark cloud waiting to return to their lives in 2021.  
He smiled at Eryn shaking those thoughts and kissed her cheek. “Right off I go” he pushed himself back and jumped from the stool. Eryn joined him and hugged him, following him to the front door “You are going to be fucking Awesome today babe” she grinned “I am” he stated as confidently as possible “Or fake it til you make it?” she offered making Taron laugh “You always managed to destroy my tension, Riley” he said kissing her firmly and taking her head. Feeling herself falling into him, she pushed back “OK you go, or you will be late” she smiled “I’ve got a little time” he smirked “ There right there that’s Eggsy” she giggled “Now go” she slapped his bum as he turned and he winked back at her in true Eggsy style.  
She shut the door and sighed leaning against the door and looking out into the empty house. The day went so ridiculously slowly, and she was truly having a hard time writing at present. She was thrilled that she would finally be published, but she was now putting herself under way too much pressure and she knew it. She took a bath and read, but she was well and truly bored. As she began to get dressed, she decided to go out, maybe the fresh air and difference in environment would lift her mood and distract her from her writers block.  
As she wandered down the road, she flicked through her phone and put on some music, smiling as she jogged along the path. It was as she wandered passed the park, that she made a decision. Hailing a black cab, she gave the address to the driver. She grinned she loved the idea so much and knew it would be fantastic. Jumping out of the cab, she practically danced to the security gate, she explained who she was and the guard went to call, she explained her plan.  
“ok Ms Riley, the A.D will be down in just a minute to escort you set” Eryn smiled and skipped from foot to foot, She knew Tron would never expect her to surprise him on the first day and was already looking around for inspiration, maybe something on a film set she began to think. “Ms Riley” the Guard called. Eryn turned. It was all Eryn could do to keep her face straight as her eyes fell on the dark, haired woman she recognised. Swallowing her gasp, she smiled  
“Miss Riley?” Emily asked formally “Yes” Eryn replied simply, “Ok, I am really sorry, but today is a closed set, I understand that you wanted to surprise Mr Egerton. But I really can’t allow it today, we need to remain on track with timing and all” Emily didn’t make eye contact but played with her pen as she looked at her clipboard. “If you have a message, I can pass on, then that’s about all I can do for you” she finished. “No, I see” Eryn stumbled, she had never considered she would be told no, and certainly not by Emily.  
She Thanked her and quickly turned to the road to hail a cab, she was disappointed and gutted, but embarrassed. As she climbed into the cab, she turned her music up and headed home. Taron was looking for Emily, not sure of where he was meant to be. He asked a couple of the crew, who directed him to the gate “She was called to the gate, I think” the lighting guy said. Turning his head, he saw her and began walking over, but he stopped. She was talking to someone.  
She wasn’t one that bothered with her social media, she wasn’t even a jealous person. But as soon as she got in the house, she typed in her name. ‘Emily Thomas’ she typed. The pictures flew up onto the screen. It was like being hit with a million little daggers, every smiling couple shot, every look she saw him giving her, she thought that she would die. She was about to slam the laptop shut, when she saw something that made her freeze. She stared at the picture, her mind a blur.  
Taron pushed the door open and shut it quietly. He wasn’t sure what he was coming home to. Having messaged and phoned her after seeing her at the gate with Emily. Emily had been less than useless, telling him that all they had spoken about was how she couldn’t come on set. He kicked off his shoes, exhausted after a physically demanding day, he wasn’t looking forward to the possible conflict coming his way.  
But when he rounded the bedroom door, he saw she was curled up in bed asleep. He sighed relieved. Smiling he walked round and kissed her cheek. He walked over to the dresser and pulled off his clothes, pulling on a pair of sweatpants. He wandered into the kitchen and poured himself a vodka and coke, plonking a few ice cubes in. He sat on the sofa, opening the laptop to choose a film. He was confronted by it.  
A full page of pictures of himself and Emily. He and Emily at the red carpet, candid personal shots from Pinterest and halfway down a larger, grainier picture of him and Emily from the event a few weeks back, in the image his lips were clearly pressed against hers.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27  
Eryn paced up and down, the picture glaring at her. She couldn’t process it and didn’t know how to handle it. Her emotions flared like crazy and all manner of outlandish ideas ran through her mind. After a while she slammed the lid down. She went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. “Why can’t you fucking cry?” she shouted at herself. She hated that she had no control over her own tears. Unable to cry when she felt like she needed to and then unable to stop them when they did. She stared at herself in the mirror.  
The words cascading through her mind, the floodgates were open and every evil, hateful comment she had ever heard or created in her own mind hit her like a punch in the guts. She knew she shouldn’t and knew she was meant to be fighting. But she gave in. Cutting her arms, felt like heaven, the clam and the euphoria was everything she needed. As she sat on the bathroom floor, she watched the red liquid dripping onto the white bathmat. The gashes looked scary and she began to fill with the familiar shame that always followed the release. “You fucking idiot” she cursed herself.  
Reaching under the sink, she pulled a plastic bag that was pushed to the back and hidden behind the sanitary wear. She removed the anti-septic wipes, the steri strips and bandage. She wrapped the Xacto knife in a face cloth and pushed it into the bag. Replacing the bag to its hiding place. She got to work, wiping the wounds clean and fixing the steri strips in place. She wrapped the bandage around. Getting up she avoided the mirror, not wanting to see her shame.  
In the bedroom, she found a tubi grip and pulled it over the bandage. Wincing at the pain, that was beginning to start and got into bed. She stared at the picture of her and Taron on the side table. Placing it face down, she pulled some tablets from her draw and swallowed the two sleeping pills. Looking at the pack, she thought about how easy it would be to swallow them all, make it all go away. Throwing the pack into the draw she buried her head in the pillow and soon drifted off to sleep.  
\--  
Taron sat looking at the grainy picture. The printer hummed and Taron got up, collecting the items it spat out. He sat at the table and worked. His mind was berating him, and his head hurt from the thoughts that battered him. He had already heard back from Lyndsay. But he was well aware of the routine, the way this worked. Once on the net it was a free for all, no way to get it back or stopped. Not realistically anyway. He had also texted Emily, he had kept it short and simple. Just telling her of the image’s existence. He didn’t like it, but he wasn’t entirely sure it hadn’t been her to have sent it out. He hadn’t even bothered trying to chase its source down. It was irrelevant. What, he knew only too well, was the women currently sleeping next door. It really wasn’t what he expected. He was expecting yelling and shouting, accusations and hurtful comments. This was just worse; he could handle the first scenario. Been there, done that. But this, this was not. He sighed as he finished his project and walking into the bedroom, he placed it on Eryn’s side table.  
He wasn’t sure whether he ought to sleep in the spare room but decided finally to be nearby when Eryn woke up. He climbed into bed and watched as she scrunched hr face up in her sleep. “What was she dreaming about?” he thought. As he began to doze off, he automatically reached over to stroke her arm. He froze when he reached her elbow. Suddenly very awake, he swallowed hard as his fingers touched the fabric of the tubi grip.  
Looking at Eryn, he couldn’t help the tears welling in his eyes. “Shit, Eryn” he mumbled. Covering his eyes, he hurt so badly for her and could have kicked himself. She was sleeping so gently, why did he think she wouldn’t fall back on that old habit. He sat up, frustrated at himself. Eryn stirred, turning over to face away from him, he looked at her. Shaking his head, he wanted to scream or punch something.  
Eryn opened her eyes, groggy from the sleeping pills. She reached out for her glasses and put them on. Taron turned seeing her, but he froze. Waiting for her to begin the en slaught. As her eyes came into focus, she saw it. A new picture frame sat on the side table, the picture was taken at the recent event, it wasn’t on the red carpet or one of the press shots. It was taken while she and Taron weren’t aware. She was able to see the look on his face and her own. It was two people who were completely enthralled in each other. The world around them non-existent.  
She was aware of Taron’s presence and turned. Her eyelashes fluttered as she tried to fight the tiredness. She looks at Taron, he looked Devastated by his forehead creased more than ever. She reached her arm out, forgetting about her injuries. She suddenly felt the shame hit her and quickly hid her arm under the covers. Looking down, she flashed her eyes to Taron again. “Eryn” Taron began.  
“You didn’t tell me Emily was the AD?” Eryn blurted out. “No” he replied simply, “You … you” she tried to get the words to come “K…Kissed her” she finished “Yes” he croaked. Eryn nodded “She wants you back?” she asked though it sounded more like a statement than a question. “yes” he replied again “But Eryn” Taron began. As Eryn flashed him another look, the pain was obvious in her eyes. “I don’t want her, I want you” he stammered. “But you kissed her Taron” Eryn whined a little. Taron nodded simply “For a second Eryn, I did” he admitted.  
Eryn was expecting lies and excuses. She wasn’t sure what to do with this, how to handle it. “I don’t know why I didn’t stop her before we …” he groaned “Shit Eryn, I have fucked up, I know I know” he began to cry “ I want to take it back, I don’t know how to take it back, Eryn what can I do?” he sobbed. Eryn wanted to grab him and hold him; her heart broke seeing him this way. But her barriers were way back up again, and she couldn’t make herself move.  
He continued to sob quietly for some time. Eventually, he reached out his hand across the bed. Eryn looking at it, lifted her wounded arm and took his hand in hers. She knew he was aware how much he had hurt her, but to ram it home she deliberately chose the arm she had cut. He looked at the bandage, taking hold of the end, he began to remove the tubi grip. Taking the end of the dressing he unwrapped it. He needed to see what he had done to her.  
As the fabric fell off, revealing the angry and barely congealed cuts. He let out a sob, tears returning to his eyes. “This is all my fault, fucking hell Eryn, what have I done to you?” he got up and walked out of the room, as Eryn heard the spare room door shut.  
\--  
Taron barely slept that night and headed off for the set at 6am. Eryn had another therapy session to go to and this one was heavier than she expected. When she came home, she lay on her bed, running her fingers down her arm. She got up suddenly and went to the bathroom, grabbing her cutting kit, she emptied the bag on the floor. She grabbed the knife and stopped. Dropping the knife, she burst into tears. All she could see was Taron’s face when he had seen her arm, his words reverberated around her brain.  
Throwing it all back into the bag she walked determined to the kitchen and dumped the back in the bin, she ran up the stairs to the roof. It was dark and the city lights were beautiful. She called Alexa to start he favourite party hits and began to dance. Full volume the music pumped through her and she let go, pulling her hair from the elastics she allowed her hair free. Closing her eyes, she felt the music in her veins and began singing loudly along. Spying the hot tub, she turned it on and peering behind the bar pulled out a bottle of passion fruit vodka and made herself a drink.  
As the hot tub bubbled, she began removing her clothing. Once she was nude, she stepped into the hot water, dancing and singing still. She continued to sip her drink. She had made herself a pitcher and set it down next to the hot tub. Laying back in the bubbles, she relaxed and closed her eyes. Letting the tension go, she continued to move to the music and play. The bubbles felt good and the alcohol let her forget the images she had had to drag up.  
Even the sting of the water on her wounds, weren’t going to bother her. She flung her arms in the air and let her hair float on the water as she dropped beneath the water. Under the water the music distorted, and she found herself thinking it would be a perfect way to go. To just fall asleep now under the water. Her thoughts were broken, by someone dragging her to the surface.  
“Jesus fucking Christ Eryn, what are you doing?” Taron panted, his face full of fear. Eryn wiped the water from her eyes, coughing. “What?” she replied cross. “fine” he spat; his face full of hurt “Kill yourself then, maybe I fucking deserve that” he answered. Eryn sat right up in the water now, “I wasn’t” she began. “I wouldn’t” she tried again. “Taron, I really would never” she continued. “Taron, I have no towel please … come here” Eryn asked. Taron walked to the ottoman and pulled a towel out for her, laying it on the side of tub. He turned to walk away, but she grabbed his wrist.  
“Thank you” she said quietly stepping out of the tub, wrapping the towel around herself she sat next to Taron “I didn’t mean to scare you” she mumbled. Taron nodded “I just… after the “he stuttered gesturing to her arm. “After I cut myself” she said firmly. Taron nodded. “it’s okay to say the words Taron” she sounded annoyed. “Ok, yes” he said getting irritated himself “After you are cutting yourself, I saw you under the water for all that time and I just didn’t know” he trailed off.  
“You’re that special, are you?” Eryn said “That I’d throw my life away, because you kissed your ex” she sounded angrier than she felt. “No, you’re right, no I’m not. In fact, I don’t know why you’re still here” he shot a look at Eryn. She saw the hurt in his eyes. She hated what he had done, she hated how she reacted so over dramatically more. Reaching up she stroked his cheek as he closed his eyes. “I want to be here, if you want me here” Eryn spoke softly, scared he would say the latter. “I mean if you and Emily...” she couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence.  
Taron hit her with the strongest kiss, she had felt from him. She literally fell back, and he had to catch her, as his lips pressed into hers, she hated what he did, she told herself I hate you. But her body was responding differently. Her hate seemed to turn her on. She kissed him back as if it were a battle, she was going to win. She was going to show him, she dipped her tongue between his lips and scratched her nails up his neck, leaving red lines in his skin. Groaning erotically. He too joined in the fight, he was going to show her he was all hers, that that kiss with Emily meant nothing. He stared intensely into her eyes, feeling herself squirm.  
She upped the ante, pulling off the towel she broke away and got back into the hot tub. Taron kicked off his shows and walked into the tub, clothes and all. Grabbing Eryn around the waist he pulled her to him and devoured her neck, kissing and biting. He sucked the skin leaving a trail of marks, she was his and everyone would know it. He squeezed her breasts and twisted her nipples as she whimpered to him. She pulled his wet top off him and rubbed his erection through his jeans as he fumbled with the belt, finally getting his jeans off, she pulled his boxer down and grabbed his cock, firmly.  
He held on to the back on tub as she pulled and gripped him with his fingers, teasing the tip with her nails. He closed his eyes, realising he had let her have control. His face changed and he licked him lips as he grabbed her thighs, pulling them apart, he pulled her sharply to him. Making her gasp, grabbing his pecks. He pushed into her hard, out of nowhere she slapped him. His eyelashes fluttered at the shock. But he saw the tears in her eyes and kissed her hard as he began to thrust, pushing hard “I hate you” she breathed into his ear” “I know, but your mine and I am all yours, I am ALL yours” he repeated as he continued to speed up his thrusts, until they came together. She bit into his shoulder as he gripped her head. The feelings overwhelming them both.  
Eryn lay on Taron’s shoulder, as his left her. Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry” he spoke into her ear. “I am all yours” he repeated gently and earnestly this time. Eryn nodded “I know I have to do a lot to prove it to you and build back up that trust” he continued. Again, Eryn nodded, feeling his arms tighten his hold on her. “It’s not your fault I cut Taron” she admitted “You hurt me, but the cutting, that’s all on me” she sighed.  
“It’s not your responsibility how I react to emotion, its mine.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

The next few weeks of therapy were harder and harder. Eryn returned home and went straight to bed. When Taron arrived home, he found her asleep in her clothes, as the weeks passed, his worries increased. Eryn stopped caring about anything, she stopped going out. Unless for the sessions. Stopped getting dressed, refused to eat and hadn’t touched her laptop. Let things play out for now. Eryn was so withdrawn, they barely spoke. His schedule did not help as he ended up sleeping when she was awake and vice versa.  
Taron comforted himself with the fact that at least she was no longer cutting, wasn’t sure why. But hopped it was a good sign. She was also writing in her journal, though it was no longer the pretty iridescent jotter and sparkly pen. The cover had been covered in black sharpie and a normal black biro was used. Tonight, was the last night shoot and tomorrow the end of the whole thing. He was hoping things could begin to change.  
He sat on the edge of the bed, pulling off he shoes. Stopping to look at Eryn as she slept. She hated how rough she was looking, as if all her pain were showing. Her hair was tangled, and her vest top stained, but she was as beautiful as the day they met. He moved a strand of hair, taking in all her face. Leaning over her and kissed her cheek. Climbing over her, he pulled back the duvet and climbed in, taking her waist he pulled her to him. Holding her tightly, he lay thinking how much he loved the way her hair usually smelt, and he became suddenly overwhelmed.  
“Eryn?” he gently shook her, “Eryn wake up please” she moaned grumpily and scrunched down under the cover. Taron pushed the cover back and went into the bathroom. He filled the bathtub with Eryn’s favourite bath oils and laid a couple of bath bombs out, he put her shampoo and conditioner at the top of the tub and began to fill it. While the water filled the bath, Taron found the softest towels he could, along with some clean linen for the bed. He went back into the bedroom, pulling clean a clean pair of pyjamas out and laid them on the dresser. Turning off the taps. He went into the bedroom.  
“Eryn” he shouted loudly “Eryn, enough is enough, Eryn wake up!” he yelled. Eryn sat up, shocked. Trembling she stared at Taron, but to Eryn, Taron wasn’t there. A warped image was sounding like he did, but all she could see was fear, that same fear that paralyses. Tears rolled of her stunned face and she swallowed hard, breathing so hard you could hear her breath catching in her throat. Taron closed his eyes, instantly regretting. He hadn’t meant it to come out the way it had, he was just so scared and lost.  
Seeing Eryn, he knew he couldn’t touch her. He knew he had triggered her, and she wasn’t here. She was trapped in her head and he had put her there. “Taron” she whimpered. Unsure now what to do, Taron moved to the end of the bed and sat. “I’m here… I didn’t mean to” he croaked. “please” she pleaded. Holding her hand out. Taron crawled across the bed, burying his head in her stomach, she ran her fingers through his hair. “Eryn come back to me, please?” Taron croaked. “I feel like you’re so far away” he admitted. Eryn kissed him on the head “I’m right here Taron. The time she had taken concentrating on massaging Taron’s scalp and feeling his hair run through her fingers, had allowed the flashback to fade away. Eryn saw that the light was on in the bathroom and smelling her oils, she knew what Taron’s had been doing.  
Taking his hand, she got up leading Taron to the bathroom. Eryn shut the door behind them and moving toward the bath, she pulled off her dirty sweats and threw them in the basket, she climbed into the bath and let the water run over her hair and soothe her body, moving slightly as she came back up, Taron sat on the floor next to the bath unsure what Eryn was wanting, she reached her hand out and smoothed his forehead with her hand, it was soapy and she left soap suds on Taron’s frown. She smiled softly and gestured him to join her.  
Pulling of his jeans and boxers, he too threw them into the basket along with his top. He climbed in behind Eryn, the water splashing over the sides as he got comfortable, her sat in between his legs, he rested his head on her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her waist, he held her tightly, his chest pressing against her back.  
“I’m sorry Taron” Eryn whispered, “What for?” he asked gently. She took the sponge and began to run it down his calves, making him smile lightly. “I know I’ve been a shit girlfriend, I will do better” she answered “Baby, you haven’t at all” Taron kissed her shoulder and squeezed her again. “But you’ve not been here Eryn? You don’t talk to me and I know your hurting” he returned as she moved up his legs circling his knees with the sponge. “I know, it’s not something you can chat about over dinner, T and to be honest, once I’m done with the session I just want to curl up and disappear” she admitted.  
“Eryn, what do you mean disappear?” Taron was beginning to feel really scared now. Eryn’s head dropped and she stopped what she was doing. Taron cleared his throat “Eryn please trust me, be honest are we talking… like … suicide here?” Taron was amazed the words left his lips, he had been thinking and worrying about it all week, but never imagined he would say the words out loud. He could see that Eryn was struggling to know what to say “Squeeze my hand, if I’m right” he offered and it took all the strength he had not to lose it, when she eventually squeezed.  
Closing his eyes tight, to stop himself from crying. He gripped her body tight in his arms. “Please Eryn, don’t” was all he could manage now. He could feel her the tension in her body, the silent cries in her breath, she squeezed his hand again, hoping the signal was still good. The pair sat in silence, neither knowing what to do or say next. Eryn returned to washing Taron’s legs and then began on her own. “You need to stop going to the sessions” Taron blurted out, Eryn turned and looked at him. “Well??” he said looking dismayed “If they are making you…” he trailed off. Turning in the water, Taron pulled his knees up to his chest as Eryn knelt. She took his face in her hands, nodding.  
The relief hit Taron, and he grabbed Eryn and kissed her, remaining lip to lip and refusing to move. Eryn giggled moving herself, she smiled a small smile at him. “It’s cold, come on get out so I can wash my hair and shave” she said. He smiled back “last night tonight and last day tomorrow… then I am taking you away” he said as he pulled himself up out of the tub and wrapped the towel around his waist. He bent down and kissed her again, “Hurry up, I was a cwtch before, I go to sleep” he said leaving the room.  
\--  
The wrap party was as good as they always were, Taron and Eryn arrived home well and truly drunk. They had had a good time; Eryn was initially concerned about Emily. But it turned out that she had another job to go straight to in the states. Eryn thought it was very good timing and not at all suspicious. But whatever the reason, it meant Eryn could enjoy the evening. Now home, Eryn and Taron had landed in a twisted heap on the sofa, Taron had discarded his bow tie and jacket, and they both had kicked their shoes off. They lay together making out on the sofa enjoying the playful kisses and long drawn out smooches.  
Eventually, tired Eryn lay her head on Taron’s stomach, pulling up his shirt. She ran her fingers throw the small hairs on his belly and undid his flies to get better access. Making sure that Taron didn’t get any ideas. Despite looking like he felt otherwise. She closed her eyes and lay her hand flat against his warm skin, feeling his stomach moving gently up and down. She found herself falling asleep. Taron too was dozing off, his hands stroking Eryn’ long blonde hair gently and twirling it around his fingers. “I love you Eryn” Taron whispered “I love you T” she replied barely awake.  
“Marry me?” he said softly. “mmm” was all Eryn managed, sleep having already claimed her.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29  
It had been a long journey and by the time you pulled into the campsite, it was dark and pouring with rain. Taron quickly got the camper set up, as Eryn changed into her pyjama’s. Soaking wet, Taron finally climbed back in. “Let’s go to Wales, you said, better staying in the UK, noooo let’s not go somewhere hot and comfortable” Eryn teased looking at Taron’s drowned face. “Ah shut up” he moaned shaking his wet hair at her. “Urgh” she groaned so Taron grabbed her in a hug “Nooo” she squealed, and he dropped her on the bed.  
She wriggled off the end, “Move or no cookies for you” she grinned. “Cookies?” he looked concerned “you baked?” he smiled, “No, they are you’re Mam’s she sent them over , when she felt bad they weren’t able to join us” Eryn scowled, knowing that Taron was teasing her about her dreadful cooking skills “Oh good” he smiled “ I mean, I love your baking too babe” he smiled cheekily. “You are on your 2nd strike Welsh Boi” she warned. Handing him his mug and putting the biscuits on the end of the double bed. Wriggling in, she snuggled into the duvet, “I need to pee, before I get settled” Taron said opening the door and heading back out into the rain.  
Once settled in the bed, the drinks and biscuits done. Eryn snuggled into Taron as he read. Enjoying the soft music playing and time together. She smiled watching him, she loved watching him read and her plot to encourage him to wear his glasses more was working. The rain was still lashing it down and the rhythm as it hit the window, made Eryn feel sleepy. Taron had begun a new book and was excited, every now and then he would read a section to Eryn. Finally, Eryn took the book from him and began to read it out loud. “how about we do this together, one chapter a night, me tonight and you are tomorrow and so on” she offered. Taron kissed the top of her head “ I like that idea, but come lay on my lap so I can see ” he said “You get this a grow up book T, there aren’t pictures” she teased. She moved to lay her head on his lap “If you play with my hair though, you know I will fall asleep” she said. “Ok, I won’t play with your hair, until after you’ve read” he agreed. “You don’t want to fall asleep and miss anything good” he said. Something about the comment seemed loaded.  
Eryn looked at Taron, but he was giving nothing away. Eryn decided to ignore it, reading the chapter. It was such a small change in the dynamic between them. But reading the book this way somehow made them feel closer. It was so desperately needed after the last few months. Once Eryn finished reading and they turned off the lights, Eryn found her favourite spot in Taron’s neck and closed her eyes. “Babe?” Taron spoke gently Eryn murmured a yes. “Will you talk to me?” he asked, Eryn moved back a little “Ok, what about?” she replied. “I just need to understand baby, to know, if you’re still feeling like you want to... erm disappear” he asked worried to hear the answer.  
Eryn looked at Taron, “Has this been on your mind since I said that?” She asked and he nodded. “Do you remember on the pier, you told me that I told you all about the EUPD thing” she began, “You feel things more than everyone else, you said something about it being like the volume was stuck on full” she chuckled. “Yeah, that’s it completely, so some of the stuff that was being brought out, was stuff I had taken 20 years to stop triggering me and so when it was coming back out, it was as if it was all happening again” Eryn sat up now. “Ok, Taron I need you to understand how hard it is to talk about, especially to you” Taron scowled “Why especially me? I thought you trusted me?”  
Eryn couldn’t help smiling a little,” It has nothing to do with trust, it’s a vanity thing I guess “she cringed “I don’t want you to think badly of me and all this makes me feel so ashamed” she bit her finger nails, while Taron thought about it. “ It makes sense that you would want me to only see the positive parts of you, but I don’t love you less because you have flaws” he began “ Baby, That’s not me saying I think you should feel the way you do about this stuff, but telling you not to feel how you do, isn’t right” he sighed and stroked her hand “What if sharing it, helped rid you of that shame?” he offered  
Thinking about it, she spoke again “Taron, you scare me sometimes, how you come up with these things” she smiled “ It’s like you have this gift, you just seem, not to know exactly. But… I don’t know” she trailed off “ I don’t know how to explain it” Taron stroked her cheek “I do know what you mean, it scares me! where it comes from, I don’t know baby, but if it makes things better then I suppose it’s not what matters” he looked a little flushed. Swallowing hard Eryn decided to try and share “ I’m probably going to just blurt stuff out, though, it’d be the only way I can do it without stumbling over it” she admitted, her face was creased in concentration as she considered her words.  
“well, I guess as we are talking about ‘disappearing’ I could tell you that, it’s not new for me to think about dying and I …” she took a deep breath, Taron willing her to trust and let him in. “ I’ve tried a few times in the past” she was breathing fast and Taron could see just how hard it was for her, he was beginning to wonder if he was actually making a mistake, expecting her to delve into such dark things, having stopped her therapy. He had seen her come back to herself again and was concerned, he was starting something that could send her back down. “You tried to kill yourself?” he clarified, and she nodded. Taron’s eyes were full of sadness for her, but she also saw he was proud of her for telling him, and he was right. Knowing he knew about it, it no longer felt like something she had to hide, and she was able now to take about what had happened and why. Taron held her in his arms, he was elated that she had told him, it hurt him to know she had been through so much and felt so low. But he had secretly decided he needed to learn more about the things she was dealing with, making a mental note to educate himself.  
The nest morning, Eryn felt awful. She felt hot and nauseous. As Taron stretched and rolled over, he stopped. “Wow babe, you are hot” he looked worried “I feel like shit, T I won’t lie” she said quickly wriggling off the bed and to the door. She threw up violently before she got a few steps. Taron was quickly behind her, gently moving her hair out of her face, he rested a hand between her shoulder blades. “Oh babe” he soothed as she retched, her stomach empty.  
Crawling back into the bed, Eryn closed her eyes. She was grateful when Taron laid a cold flannel on her forehead and placed a small wastepaper basket in the corner, to save her running to the door. Taron handed her a cold glass of water, “It has some salt and sugar in it, to keep up your electrolytes” he explained as she sipped, though they were not detectable. Eryn was grateful for the thoughtfulness. She lay back as Taron stroked her cheek gently. “Sorry T, have I ruined your holiday plans?” she grimaced.  
“nah, like I said I only planned a couple of things and they are for Friday and the last night” he explained “Hopefully this is just a 24hr thing” he offered smiling sweetly. “You get some sleep, I can read” he suggested “You can read to me? It’s your turn anyway” she tried to smile back. Taron found his glasses and the book, laying back he began to read. “Eryn had never told him how much she loved his voice; it’s unique quality was a mixture of accents and often he dropped an octave for no obvious reason. She had always loved the welsh accent, but Taron having grown up between Liverpool and mid -Wales, didn’t have a strong welsh lilt, however she loved it when the guttural, throaty expression came through.  
She rested her eyes, allowing her imagination to take her into the world the book spoke of, Taron had a real aptitude for voice work, and she loved how he brought it all to life. He was so modest, it felt like undiscovered treasure when you realised the depths of her knowledge and skill. It left you feeling that he was even unaware of his talents. Despite the level of fame, he was getting now on the back of ‘Rocket man’  
Eryn felt better, when she opened her eyes. Realising she had fallen asleep; she was alone and looked around for Taron. But the camper was empty. She laid back as the nausea returned when she sat. Groaning she felt guilty, thought it wasn’t her fault for being sick, she was frustrated to ruin the little time she and Taron had. Rolling to her side, she found herself thinking about how far they had come. “You are aware that you are finally in a relationship woman!” her little voice declared “and not with a total and utter prick too” she laughed to herself. She thought about her past ‘relationships’ if you could call them that, her brain naturally moved to think about Taron and Emily. She and Phil had been together for 7 years, the same as Taron and Emily. The obvious difference being that her relationship with Phil had been toxic from day one, him being manipulative and controlling from day one. She lingered over the kiss; Taron had been pictured having with her. The one that had devastated her, the one that they still hadn’t discussed.  
She understood why Emily would want Taron, I mean how could she not. She also got that sometimes it’s when you don’t have someone, or you see them with someone else that you crave that familiarity of what you know. Especially if your back on the dating scene.  
The couple had avoided discussing ‘The kiss’ more than they already had, but Eryn often found that she would keep comparing herself to Emily. When she was alone, she scrolled through the images on google and often ended up zooming in, thinking she didn’t have the same figure, hair colour or she would look at the shots and become upset at the way that Taron looked at Emily. She hated herself for doing it, knowing nothing good would come from it.  
She still wasn’t writing either, her thoughts were so dark, and it would probably feel great to get them out, but somehow she found it impossible to compose anything, the words failing to full express what was in her head. She sighed and closed her eyes again. She was about to find her phone and Text Taron when his head appeared around the door.  
“How are you feeling? Any better” She smiled “A bit” He put the bags he was carrying on the counter and began to cut up bits and pieces for lunch. “Are you up to trying to eat or are we strictly fluids today?” he asked lightly ass he focussed on what he was doing “Depends what food, what are you creating over there?” she was impressed by the smoothness of his culinary skills, but knowing Taron’s cooking it would be amazing.  
When he produced what looked like a posh platter of fruit and veggie nibbles, she chuckled. “Never just chucked about your food, is it?” Eryn laughed again her body reminding her she had well hit her with another round of nausea. She lay back letting is pass. She had only managed a slice or two of cucumber. “Yeah I think its liquids only for now babe” he said seeing her looking green. Grabbing the wastebasket, she began to purge, but her stomach was all but empty. The muscles of her stomach cramped painfully and violently jerks her body as her eyes watered. Again Taron, held her hair out of the way.  
Falling back onto the pillows, she groaned. “I think you have poisoned me” she teased. “Your cooking is so bad Taron, you need to sort it out” she smirked, opening one eye. “Lasagne” he said his tongue poking the inside of his cheek “That’s all I am saying…Lasagne” Eryn throw a pillow at him. He picked it up and chucked it back at her, He made sure it wouldn’t actually hit her. As he cleared away, he joined her on the bed.  
“How about I read some more? Or will we listen to music? What do you fancy?” he asked “You, I fancy…You” she replied playfully He leaned over and kissed her cheek “ That was pretty lame, but as you’re not well I will let you off” They lay quietly together for a while.  
“Taron, should we talk about it” Eryn forced the words from her mouth, She knew she would only be able to stop her head going crazy if they put this black cloud to bed” Taron looked at her. “By it I take it you mean Emily” again those instincts were switched on. Eryn nodded “ I think we both know what we are like for over thinking and…” Eryn dropped her head “ I can’t stop myself, shit Taron it’s ridiculous, but I keep looking at google and I know I shouldn’t and it makes me crazy and” she stopped. Taron rolled over leaning on his hand “what is it your looking at and thinking?” he asked confused “damn Taron can’t you guess?” she reddened and he realised that she was really struggling, but trying to be honest with him. “I’m comparing of course, that’s what you do, when … well when someone’s after your man, and that someone had him for a hell of a long time” she managed.  
He looked at her, thinking and considering his words “Eryn, when things ended the first time, I wasn’t sure it was for the best, but this time I did, that’s what I told her when she… “ he trailed off avoiding the word ‘kiss’ “But you’re right there is history and a lot of it, I bet there is with Phil, there must have been some good times?” he wasn’t sure whether bringing him up would trigger Eryn, but it made no sense to ignore the similarities. Both were in relationships the same time length and they both broke up around the same time before they met each other.  
“ask me Eryn? Whatever the questions in your head, just ask?” he urged. “why didn’t you stop her?” she asked “Because it happened so quick, I was looking for you and it’s a stupid answer but it really is true, it was habit” he closed his eyes, shaking his head. Eryn swallowed “She’s prettier?” Eryn asked softly “More intelligent? Less baggage? Less drama? Better skin? Thinner? Taron there are so many, would you be better off with her? Why am I here?” she crumbled Taron moved quickly to hold her. “No, no, no, no, no, no, definitely not and because I love you and you love me, I think at least hope you still do” he answered.  
Eryn you are beautiful, you and Emily are very different and I get that next to each other you wouldn’t immediately think I would be attracted to both types, but that’s because your beauty comes from inside and not outside. That’s not to say your body isn’t attractive, because it is and I love every single part, never mind your size, height, shape, hair colour, skin. It’s the whole picture Eryn” Eryn felt her chest fill and her breathing become short, never knowing how to act when she was complimented, she found it hard.  
“I wouldn’t be better off, because I don’t love her anymore, I love you” he continued his face was strongly, fixed and determined. “ You keep saying I have this instinct, but you have it too Eryn, it’s just as spooky to me that you seem to just know what to do or say to make my anxiety disappear, to stop me tying up in knots” he sighed “ I completely understand your reaction to that kiss, Eryn and I won’t defend my laziness. But it was just that and nothing else” he let his eyes soften a little and bit his lip as they looked into each other’s eyes, the world a non-existent blur.  
Eryn rested her head on Taron’s. “ok” she breathed “does that mean no more googling and comparing?” he asked. “no more and Taron” she said lifting her head and staring deeply into his eyes, a smile played on her lips. “I thought it wasn’t even up for question, I love you more than I can tell you, so much sometimes it scares me” she let the smile shine through her now. Taron nodded “I would kiss you, but I haven’t cleaned my teeth and I don’t think you watch a pukey kiss” she said. Taron grimaced and kissed her lightly on the lips anyway.  
There was another question I had, she said slowly and Taron nodded ok “Actually no it was an answer to something” she had to hold on to herself, steeling for what she was about to say. “You asked me a question after the wrap party” she said “The answer was yes, but I don’t think you heard” Taron’s eyes suddenly brightened, and he looked at Eryn. “I thought you were asleep?” he looked confused but excited not sure if he was thinking of the same question she was, she shook her head. “I just answered in my head” she admitted. Taron moved fast, he pulled her to him. “Right ok Eryn, he said excitedly, no more playing because I need to know if I have to cancel my plans for out last night here”  
Understanding immediately, she felt awful for ruining what was likely to have been a well thought out and romantic proposal. But she was too excited now to wait til then, “It’s up to you, you could ask it again now or then. She gave Taron a look that told him they most definitely were on the same page. He wriggled off the bed and pulled on his wellies. “I think Friday will be fine, I need a pee” he declared and left the camper.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30  
Eryn sat open mouthed, she did not expect him to make her wait and was gutted. When he returned a few moments later, he sat and pulled off his wellies. Eryn was sulking, she lay quietly. Taron picked up his phone and began scrolling, he chose a Joanie Mitchell song one that he had loved for a long time and the one Eryn admitted was her favourite too. It was only when Taron didn’t immediately climb up the bed that she looked up.  
To her surprise Taron was barely visible, she sat up “What are you” Eryn’s hand flew to her mouth as she saw Taron was down on one knee. His eyes were watery, and a small blue ring box was in his outstretched arm. “Eryn Riley, You and I haven’t much time behind us, but we have an expanse ahead, I cannot imagine you not being with me for whatever is in store, When we met I thought I would not, could not feel love like I had before, and I was right because this is so so much more than that, no one has known me like you do and no one gets me like you. I know that because of your past, we may have obstacles to deal with, but I know together we can get passed them all. I know you have given me an answer, but I’m asking you again and not as a drunken, half garbled mess, All of me is asking you” he croaked “ Please Marry me?” he smiled uncertainly, trying to hold himself together.  
Eryn moved to the sit at the end of the bed, she looked at Taron and couldn’t believe this was truly happening. “Yes please” was all she could manage as she trembled, tears of joy streamed down her cheeks. Taron moved to her and kissed her, their lips pressed together for the longest time as they exhaled together, parting a short way Taron lifted the ring out of its box, he lifted her hand, which was still shaking as was his. Slipping the ring onto her finger, he beamed. Looking to Eryn for her reaction.  
The ring was beautiful, it was a simple white gold band, with a bright blue diamond. Small white diamonds either side. It was simple and elegant. Eryn couldn’t take her eyes off it. She stared disbelieving “Blue to match your eyes and sometimes mine” he softly said. As time went by, he became a little concerned as Eryn hadn’t said anything. “is it bad? Did I get it wrong?” he panicked “No Welsh boy” she whispered entirely overcome “You did Very Very good”.  
Standing in front of her at the end of the bed, he took her hands and pulled her up, she grew a little dizzy, but Taron was holding her tightly and she knew she was safe. He pulled Eryn close and kissed her, this was a kiss that said all he wanted to express, he was glad she had been brave enough to admit to her worries about Emily, it meant that the air was clear now and he didn’t care that his plans were derailed, she said yes and that was all he cared about. As they kissed, he became aware that Eryn had begun to feel warm again and not forgetting her sickness, he let go and led her back to bed.  
She lay in her spot and closed her eyes, her thumb playing with her ring. Taron smiled when he saw her and as his brain circled the fact that she had said yes, trying to find somewhere to land and settle. He began to drift off. Eryn smiled into Taron’s neck and shoulders as she repeated the beautiful things Taron had said in his proposal. “Taron!” she said all of a sudden “ You better ring your Mam” she grinned, “She’ll kill you if you take too long” he looked at her “ You wait till the girls hear” he replied picking up his phone dialling his Mam’s number “ They’ll be beautiful bridesmaids Taron” he didn’t want to assume that Eryn would automatically have them be bridesmaids even though it was logical. But Eryn hadn’t thought twice.  
\---  
The Sun finally made an appearance the next day, So Taron pulled out the recliners and they sat by the clear blue river as it ran into the ocean. Eryn still felt ropey, but a fair bit better, the temperature was gone and although she still felt rough and sick, she hadn’t thrown up all night. She lay on the soft pillow and closed her eyes, allowing the sun to soothe her. She had pulled on her strapless swimsuit and was enjoying the warmth on her skin.  
“You look better” Taron said setting some pastries on the table between you and a jug of juice. He settled himself next you on his recliner and pulled off his top, He turned his music on, and it began to play a mix of music, through the beats speaker. Putting his sunglasses and cap on he settled back.  
“T pass me a drink”? Eryn asked a mischievous smile on her lips, Taron looked at her suspiciously “… O…K” he said slowly, pouring her a glass. He set it next to her “T I can’t possibly lift it, not with this on my finger” she grinned pausing for dramatic effect, she held her engagement ring out, giggling. “Oh Ok, if that’s a dig at the size of the stone, I can get a bigger one?” he teased.  
She blew him a kiss “Shut up, it’s perfect, you know I love it” she grinned holding her hand out and admiring it. Taron beamed, proud he had chosen just the right one and euphoric that last night had turned out the way it had. He had, hadn’t cancelled his plans for the last night, instead he had adapted them slightly, knowing the surprise would be bigger, now that Eryn had nothing to suspect would happen.  
“Drink your drink fiancé” he said, laying back on his recliner and looking at Eryn with one eye closed. She was beaming “Sounds so strange that” she sipped her drink and gazed at Taron. His chest was already looking wet from the heat. “I like it” he said dreamily. “Fiancé” he said again. Eryn laughed “if you say it too much it’ll just sound weirder” she dropped her legs to the side of the recliner and headed into the camper, coming back out moments later. Standing next to Taron, she poured sun cream on her hands and placed the cold liquid on his chest “Whoa babe” he jumped, Making Eryn laugh “ thought you liked surprises” she teased “Don’t start with me Riley” he warned, but she began massaging the cream into his chest, the cool cream now felt nice on his warm skin, and the sensations from her hands were creating havoc with his libido.  
Seeing his reaction, Eryn continued to massage the cream into his shoulders, back and down his arms. Leaning close, had her sizzling too. She had to shake herself more than once as her nausea threatened to ruin her enjoyment. Eryn poured another dollop of cream on her hands and starting this time at his toes, rubbed it into his calves, massaging it into the muscles as her stomach flipped, feeling insanely aroused as she moved his shorts up and covered his thighs. Taron lay back enjoying himself, knowing he would be able to return the pleasure,  
As she finished, she leant down and kissed him, lifting the peak of his cap to get full access to his lips, he pushed his tongue through and taking her by surprised, pressed hard and groaned erotically. Pulling back a little, to catch her breath. She stood dizzy for a moment. “Taron moved quickly and sat up seeing the colour drain and her body weaken “Shit, Sorry babe” he said “Come on sit down” he steadied her and sat her on her recliner. “I forgot you were still not 100%” he admitted readjusting his shorts “Can’t help myself sometimes” he smiled cheekily.  
“I know” she smiled, the colour coming back a little. “It’s what you do to me” he complained making her laugh. He leaned over and took the sun cream. “Your turn” he said “I will be good, promise” he smiled holding up his fingers in a scout salute. Eryn rolled her eyes and shook her head. Taron was gentle, but firm and Eryn knew in minutes why Taron had reacted as he had, it was the most erotic sensation, despite still feeling sick. She had to fight the tingling and explosions Taron’s hands were causing. When he began massaging her shoulders, she groaned involuntarily making Taron laugh “blimey, what’s in this sun cream? We need to do this more often, babe I don’t think you have made anything quite like that noise before, I think I need to up my game if a massage makes you do that, I’m way behind in bed” he chuckled naughtily.  
The week seemed to be going far too fast and suddenly it was the last day. Eryn had continued to feel off colour here are there, but nothing she couldn’t handle, and the week was a blissful time both Eryn and Taron were enjoying. Just the two of them surrounded by the beautiful welsh countryside.  
Taron was up early, leaving Eryn to sleep in. He brought back a small feast for breakfast, so I thought we would head to Aber today, see the folks what do you think? He said dropping ketchup down his top. Very shook her head smiling. “Sounds good to me, I live your mam and those sisters of yours" she had been on the phone to Tina so much since leaving that Taron had complained that they saw more of each other than he did.  
After lunch Taron pulled the camper together making sure it was all back in place. Eryn pushed her seat into recline and rested her bare feet on the dash. She took a photo of the two off them before they set off, pulling sad faces she posted it on her private Instagram.  
Turning the music up, the window opens fully and the hot sun streaming through was enough to send Eryn back off to sleep. Taron testing his hand on her knee as he sang and danced along. There was something about watching him drive that Eryn loved, it was manly, and he was so cocky his eyes sparkling as he enjoyed the music. But it was not enough to keep her eyes from closing.  
Taron loved the way he often caught he just watching him, not knowing what it was that had her entranced, she looked so happy, sometimes even exhilarated. He felt her love in those little moments, he too found himself staring at her, watching her hands as it ran through her hair or how her face changed as she spoke animatedly with his friends or just being open and friendly.  
He thought about what he had in store and chuckled to himself, she didn’t have a clue of what was in store. He was a little nervous but speaking to his mam earlier he felt better knowing she and Guy had it all under control. It wasn't long before the familiar sights appeared, and they pulled into Aberystwyth. Pulling into the car park of his apartments. He stroked Eryn’s face gently, “Babe we're here" he said “Are we home?” Eryn yawned and smiled without opening her eyes.  
It took Taron aback when she said it, he felt so happy hearing her calling it home. It had always been home for him of course, but knowing that Eryn adored his little hometown gave him a really thrill. Opening her door like a proper gentleman, he kissed her cheek and held out his hand. “Come on you" he said as she groaned setting her feet on the ground. Taron locked the camper, leaving it to deal with later.  
As they entered the apartment, Eryn was ambushed. Waiting in the front room was Tina and his Aunty. They grabbed the pair and squeezed them. “Right Taron, off you go!” his Aunty said “Leave us girls to get going we will see you later" she finished. “Jesus I just got in the door; I can have a brew first surely" he sighed “Nope" said Tina. “Go on, Guy has the girls and your lot at ours, so off you go" Tina instructed.  
He kissed a very confused Eryn who looked from one person to another utterly bewildered. Then left. “Right first off Eryn, come here and give me another hug, I can’t believe he proposed like that, that’s no story for my grandchildren" she said. Her face dropped when she realised what she said “Oh Eryn me and my mouth" she apologised. But Eryn shook her head, don’t be silly” she said, “Right what’s going on now, what’s he been up to?” Eryn asked “come on Eryn you know we can’t give it away he loves his little surprises our Taron" said his Aunty.  
Tina sent Eryn off to shower and then the they did Eryn’s hair and make up for her. Once she was ready Tina brought out a dress and shoes Taron had picked out for her. It was a soft golden pink spaghetti strap dress, is had a shimmering, sparkly over lay that was stunningly soft and flowing. The shoes a pair of light gold mid heel sandals matching the dress. Eryn was amazed it was just breath-taking. She looked up at the two women with her “Did he really choose these himself, with no help?” she asked “ yes" they said together. The pride on Tina and her sisters faces shone. Eryn slipped the dress on over her most delicate underwear and looked in the mirror, she felt like a golden mermaid, her hair in a half up half down style and her lightly curled blonde hair resting on her newly bronzed skin.  
She again rolled her engagement finger with her thumb, overwhelmed. She had to sit for moment to stop herself from crying and wrecking her make up. Taking a deep breath, she stood, ready to go. She knew couldn’t fall apart yet, Taron clearly had more involved for this day. She was ready and as she walked out, Tina and her sister had also changed. Wearing pretty summer dresses and sandals. They walked out of the apartment block and Tina led the way to the Marina.  
As they began to walk down the main jetty, Eryn saw Taron. Wearing a pair of pale blue suit style shorts, a yellow, short sleeve shirt and deck shoes. He grinned when he saw her, running a little to meet his mam, his kissed her and whispered something to her, His aunty listening in. They walked a little way off and waited. “Taron Egerton” what are you up to?” Eryn asked taking in his look, he looked very dapper and tanned.  
“Well look at you?” He said “Now tell me what’s going on Welsh boy, why are we at the Marina are we getting on one of these?” she looked a little concerned “Don’t tell me that you get sea sick?” he asked in a teasing tone, but in the back of his mind he panicked. “I thought that you were a mermaid?” Eryn blushed loving that Taron had remembered. “I’m fine, but I just stopped feeling sick, so it better be a smooth sail” she looked at Taron, his face was alight. It always shone the most when he was doing something for someone else, she loved seeing the excitement and anticipation.  
Taron took her hand and as they met with his Mam and Aunt, they walked a little further before coming to a large Yacht. Two very excited young ladies, were already on board and clearly unable to wait any longer, were waving at those on the jetty to come aboard. Guy was with them and helped everyone climb onto the yacht. The girls also wore pretty summer dresses and their hair was braided a little down each side. As Eryn looked into the yacht se saw all of Taron’s, friends and family were present and the yacht was decorated with silver and gold ribbons. A large banner was strung across the deck reading “Congratulations Taron & Eryn” drinks were being given out and music was playing.  
Eryn looked at Taron, “Well as my plans for tonight were kind of derailed, I decided that I could still use the yacht and just invite everyone for a massive engagement party” he beamed. Eryn’s eyes danced around trying to take everything in. Her heart was in her mouth. She threw her arms around Taron’s neck and buried her face in his shoulder. “This is a dream isn’t it?” she said her voice shaky. “No sweetheart, this is real” Taron replied moving her so he could look at her.  
As they began to smile, Taron was accosted by Mari who was the youngest of his two sisters. She grabbed Eryn and Taron’s hands and pulled them up to the upper deck “We’re moving look” she cried excitedly as the yacht began slowly to move away from the marina and toward the open ocean. Taron crouched to her level “Can you sea the loch ness monster yet Mari?” he asked “That’s in Scotland Taron, silly” she giggled. “Well Mari even the loch ness monster needs a holiday? Where do you think it goes?” Mari was unsure for a moment and looked at the water. Eryn watched them for a short while, As As shyer Rosie hovered between Eryn and Taron.  
Leaving Taron with the girls Eryn spotted Meghan and Niamh, “Omg Eryn!!” they giggled, coming over and hugging her “ Hey” she said a little red “This is amazing Eryn, I can’t even believe it” Meghan said sipping her drink, she was wearing a gorgeous red maxi dress and a little black bolero “So girls, come on help me out here, have you any idea what Taron’s got planned today?” Eryn asked “Are you asking us to betray a trust Eryn?” Niamh pulled her best dramatic shocked look. “Yes, totally, female solidarity and all that” she replied. “No chance” the girls replied “We want to see the look on your face as much as he does” “Oh so you know something then?” she chuckled.  
“As you are more than aware, our Taron likes his surprises, so you can guarantee somethings been planned”. The girls conversation continued as they sipped the wine that had been laid out on the table. After a while, as Eryn’s stomach rumbled she broke away in search of food, finding some nibbles, she grabbed a few and went to find a quiet spot to relax. It wasn’t a massive yacht and with all those on board, it wasn’t all that easy, but she managed to find a little seating area at the back, where she could watch the ocean and take a breather. Taking it all in, she began thinking to her arrival in Aber and how far things had come in such a short space of time.  
She had rung her mother and told her the news, receiving the kind of response she expected. “Well don’t expect us to pay for another wedding Eryn, You’re only meant to get married once remember” her mothers voice was dripping with jealousy. She having stayed with Eryn’s father despite how he acted, refusing to even think of a divorce. It didn’t matter that the family were dragged into it all, that sides were demanded and so much hurt was being caused all round. “Despite being fully aware of Phil’s behaviour and what he had done to Eryn, even the recent attack, didn’t stop them from continuing a relationship with him and constantly berating her for leaving him. The blame for it all was clearly all Eryn’s and she must have ‘done’ something to cause him to do what he did.  
This was why she refused to have contact or even visit her parents now. She had had enough of them and the way that they drained her of all her energy and progress mentally. But as she sat and thought now at the end of the boat, she found herself feeling the familiar sadness that reared it’s head at the times when most women would have a family to celebrate with. She loved Taron’s and Tina was really like a Mam in so many ways. But it just was never going to be the same.  
She shook the words from her head, today she determined would not be ruined by them. As she looked up, wiping the tears that were threatening to fall. Taron appeared “There you are, what are you hiding here for?” he asked, stopping when he saw she looked sad and picking up on her body language. He sat next to her, taking her hand “What’s wrong?” he asked softly “If this is all too much, I get it. I can get us back to shore and tell everyone to go if you want” he asked Eryn pulled a face “Don’t be daft, I’m good” she smiled “ I’m not convinced, but if you say so” he said not at all reassured Eryn lay her head on his shoulder “Thank you for this babe and especially for my outfit, you have a career in styling if the acting doesn’t work out for you, you know” she laughed “In women’s clothing?” he raised one eyebrow, resting his head on hers. “I saw it and thought it was very you, I’m glad you like it” he continued “You do look really amazing baby”. “You don’t look to bad yourself” she said placing her hand on his knee and stroking his thigh. “Are we being dreadfully anti social just sat out here?” Eryn asked after a while, she was enjoying looking out to the waves, resting on Taron and just chatting.  
“Hey it’s our party” he began “…and I’ll cry if I want to” Eryn interrupted making Taron chuckle “No, no crying” he laughed “But what I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted was that we can do what we want” he wriggled into a more comfortable position his arm a round Eryn, moving them into a closer cwtch. “Were you really going to do all this to propose?” Eryn asked. Taron nodded “I thought I ought to do something to make up for the terrible way I did it after the wrap party” he said “I can’t believe you didn’t answer me, I was going nuts for days after that” he admitted “I told you, when I woke I up I thought I had dreamed it and at the time I thought I had said it out loud, but then when you didn’t say anything the next morning, I thought I must imagined it” she sighed. “Besides, the way you did it the other night was much more personal, I don’t mind a grand gesture, but it was perfect Taron, truly” Taron had to admit that he agreed.  
“There you two are” Tina said when she saw you, she pulled up a chair and sat. “You ok? Why are you hiding out here?” she asked a little concern on her face “We’re perfect Mam” Taron smiled. Tina relaxed a little “Good, but people are asking where you are?” she said. “We’ll come through in a bit Mam” Taron added “Well, you to have plenty of time to sit and chat later” she smiled “You do look beautiful right now though” she said seeing her son happy and relaxed made her heart swell. She had wondered if his big plans were a little over the top for Eryn, but seeing them together now she knew that the couple were uniquely Intune and he had clearly done a good job  
Tina stood “Come on then, go see your guests” she told Taron, pulling him from his seat. He turned “Ready?” he asked Eryn who let him pull her to her feet too. “Go on Taron, I wat a minute with my new daughter to be” Tina said grinning the same smile her son had inherited and responded in kind, Heading into the cabin. Tina pulled Eryn into a big hug “I know this must be hard, not having your own family here, so I wanted to check on you” she said. Eryn nodded “You read my mind, you and your son have a gift in that department you know” Tina laughed. “It is what it is” she replied “It can’t change, so I just have to accept it” Eryn looked at Tina, “Well, you have me and my lot now, so hopefully we can make up for what’s missing, if only a little bit” she smiled “Thank you Tina, truly that means so much” Eryn stopped herself again feeling emotional again.  
Seeing her, Tina now took her arm and they headed into the Cabin.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31  
Eryn sat open mouthed, she did not expect him to make her wait and was gutted. When he returned a few moments later, he sat and pulled off his wellies. Eryn was sulking, she lay quietly. Taron picked up his phone and began scrolling, he chose a Joannie Mitchell song one that he had loved for a long time and the one Eryn admitted was her favourite too. It was only when Taron didn’t immediately climb up the bed that she looked up.  
To her surprise Taron was barely visible, she sat up “What are you” Eryn’s hand flew to her mouth as she saw Taron was down on one knee. His eyes were watery, and a small blue ring box was in his outstretched arm. “Eryn Riley, You and I haven’t much time behind us, but we have an expanse ahead, I cannot imagine you not being with me for whatever is in store, When we met I thought I would not, could not feel love like I had before, and I was right because this is so, so much more than that, no one has known me like you do and no one gets me like you. I know that because of your past, we may have obstacles to deal with, but I know together we can get passed them all. I know you have given me an answer, but I’m asking you again and not as a drunken, half garbled mess, all of me is asking you” he croaked “Please Marry me?” he smiled uncertainly, trying to hold himself together.  
Eryn moved to the sit at the end of the bed, she looked at Taron and couldn’t believe this was truly happening. “Yes please” was all she could manage as she trembled, tears of joy streamed down her cheeks. Taron moved to her and kissed her, their lips pressed together for the longest time as they exhaled together, parting a short way Taron lifted the ring out of its box, he lifted her hand which was still shaking as was his. Slipping the ring onto her finger, he beamed. Looking to Eryn for her reaction.  
The ring was beautiful, it was a simple white gold band, with a bright blue diamond. Small white diamonds either side. It was simple and elegant. Eryn couldn’t take her eyes off it. She stared disbelieving “Blue to match your eyes and sometimes mine” he softly said. As time went by, he became a little concerned as Eryn hadn’t said anything. “is it bad? Did I get it wrong?” he panicked “No Welsh boy” she whispered entirely overcome “You did Very, Very good”.  
Standing in front of her at the end of the bed, he took her hands and pulled her up, she grew a little dizzy, but Taron was holding her tightly and she knew she was safe. He pulled Eryn close and kissed her, this was a kiss that said all he wanted to express, he was glad she had been brave enough to admit to her worries about Emily, it meant that the air was clear now and he didn’t care that his plans were derailed, she said yes and that was all he cared about. As they kissed, he became aware that Eryn had begun to feel warm again and not forgetting her sickness, he let go and led her back to bed.  
She lay in her spot and closed her eyes, her thumb playing with her ring. Taron smiled when he saw her and as his brain circled the fact that she had said yes, trying to find somewhere to land and settle. He began to drift off. Eryn smiled into Taron’s neck and shoulders as she repeated the beautiful things Taron had said in his proposal. “Taron!” she said all of a sudden “ You better ring your Mam” she grinned, “She’ll kill you if you take too long” he looked at her “ You wait till the girls hear” he replied picking up his phone dialling his Mam’s number “ They’ll be beautiful bridesmaids Taron” he didn’t want to assume that Eryn would automatically have them be bridesmaids even though it was logical. But Eryn hadn’t thought twice.  
\---  
The Sun finally made an appearance the next day, So Taron pulled out the recliners and they sat by the clear blue river as it ran into the ocean. Eryn still felt ropey, but a fair bit better, the temperature was gone and although she still felt rough and sick, she hadn’t thrown up all night. She lay on the soft pillow and closed her eyes, allowing the sun to soothe her. She had pulled on her strapless swimsuit and was enjoying the warmth on her skin.  
“You look better” Taron said setting some pastries on the table between you and a jug of juice. He settled himself next you on his recliner and pulled off his top, He turned his music on, and it began to play a mix of music, through the beat’s speaker. Putting his sunglasses and cap on he settled back.  
“To pass me a drink”? Eryn asked a mischievous smile on her lips, Taron looked at her suspiciously “… O…K” he said slowly, pouring her a glass. He set it next to her “T I can’t possibly lift it, not with this on my finger” she grinned pausing for dramatic effect, she held her engagement ring out, giggling. “Oh Ok, if that’s a dig at the size of the stone, I can get a bigger one?” he teased.  
She blew him a kiss “Shut up, it’s perfect, you know I love it” she grinned holding her hand out and admiring it. Taron beamed, proud he had chosen just the right one and euphoric that last night had turned out the way it had. He had, hadn’t cancelled his plans for the last night, instead he had adapted them slightly, knowing the surprise would be bigger, now that Eryn had nothing to suspect would happen.  
“Drink your drink fiancé” he said, laying back on his recliner and looking at Eryn with one eye closed. She was beaming “Sounds so strange that” she sipped her drink and gazed at Taron. His chest was already looking wet from the heat. “I like it” he said dreamily. “Fiancé” he said again. Eryn laughed “if you say it too much it’ll just sound weirder” she dropped her legs to the side of the recliner and headed into the camper, coming back out moments later. Standing next to Taron, she poured sun cream on her hands and placed the cold liquid on his chest “Woah babe” he jumped, Making Eryn laugh “ thought you liked surprises” she teased “Don’t start with me Riley” he warned, but she began massaging the cream into his chest, the cool cream now felt nice on his warm skin, and the sensations from her hands were creating havoc with his libido.  
Seeing his reaction, Eryn continued to massage the cream into his shoulders, back and down his arms. Leaning close, had her sizzling too. She had to shake herself more than once as her nausea threatened to ruin her enjoyment. Eryn poured another dollop of cream on her hands and starting this time at his toes, rubbed it into his calves, massaging it into the muscles as her stomach flipped, feeling insanely aroused as she moved his shorts up and covered his thighs. Taron lay back enjoying himself, knowing he would be able to return the pleasure,  
As she finished, she leant down and kissed him, lifting the peak of his cap to get full access to his lips, he pushed his tongue through and taking her by surprised, pressed hard and groaned erotically. Pulling back a little, to catch her breath. She stood dizzy for a moment. “Taron moved quickly and sat up seeing the colour drain and her body weaken “Shit, Sorry babe” he said “Come on sit down” he steadied her and sat her on her recliner. “I forgot you were still not 100%” he admitted readjusting his shorts “Can’t help myself sometimes” he smiled cheekily.  
“I know” she smiled, the colour coming back a little. “It’s what you do to me” he complained making her laugh. He leaned over and took the sun cream. “Your turn” he said “I will be good, promise” he smiled holding up his fingers in a scout salute. Eryn rolled her eyes and shook her head. Taron was gentle, but firm and Eryn knew in minutes why Taron had reacted as he had, it was the most erotic sensation, despite still feeling sick. She had to fight the tingling and explosions Taron’s hands were causing. When he began massaging her shoulders, she groaned involuntarily making Taron laugh “blimey, what’s in this sun cream? We need to do this more often, babe I don’t think you have made anything quite like that noise before, I think I need to up my game if a massage makes you do that, I’m way behind in bed” he chuckled naughtily.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32  
The week seemed to be going far too fast and suddenly it was the last day. Eryn had continued to feel off colour here are there, but nothing she couldn’t handle, and the week was a blissful time both Eryn and Taron were enjoying. Just the two of them surrounded by the beautiful welsh countryside.  
Taron was up early, leaving Eryn to sleep in. He brought back a small feast for breakfast, so I thought we would head to Aber today, see the folks what do you think? He said dropping ketchup down his top. Very shook her head smiling. “Sounds good to me, I live your mam and those sisters of yours" she had been on the phone to Tina so much since leaving that Taron had complained that they saw more of each other than he did.  
After lunch Taron pulled the camper together making sure it was all back in place. Eryn pushed her seat into recline and rested her bare feet on the dash. She took a photo of the two off them before they set off, pulling sad faces she posted it on her private Instagram.  
Turning the music up, the window opens fully and the hot sun streaming through was enough to send Eryn back off to sleep. Taron testing his hand on her knee as he sang and danced along. There was something about watching him drive that Eryn loved, it was manly, and he was so cocky his eyes sparkling as he enjoyed the music. But it was not enough to keep her eyes from closing.  
Taron loved the way he often caught he just watching him, not knowing what it was that had her entranced, she looked so happy, sometimes even exhilarated. He felt her love in those little moments, he too found himself staring at her, watching her hands as it ran through her hair or how her face changed as she spoke animatedly with his friends or just being open and friendly.  
He thought about what he had in store and chuckled to himself, she didn’t have a clue of what was in store. He was a little nervous but speaking to his mam earlier he felt better knowing she and Guy had it all under control. It wasn't long before the familiar sights appeared, and they pulled into Aberystwyth. Pulling into the car park of his apartments. He stroked Eryn’s face gently, “Babe we're here" he said “Are we home?” Eryn yawned and smiled without opening her eyes.  
It took Taron aback when she said it, he felt so happy hearing her calling it home. It had always been home for him of course but knowing that Eryn adored his little hometown gave him a really thrill. Opening her door like a proper gentleman, he kissed her cheek and held out his hand. “Come on you" he said as she groaned setting her feet on the ground. Taron locked the camper, leaving it to deal with later.  
As they entered the apartment, Eryn was ambushed. Waiting in the front room was Tina and his Aunty. They grabbed the pair and squeezed them. “Right Taron, off you go!” his Aunty said “Leave us girls to get going we will see you later" she finished. “Jesus I just got in the door; I can have a brew first surely" he sighed “Nope" said Tina. “Go on, Guy has the girls and your lot at ours, so off you go" Tina instructed.  
He kissed a very confused Eryn who looked from one person to another utterly bewildered. Then left. “Right first off Eryn, come here and give me another hug, I can’t believe he proposed like that, that’s no story for my grandchildren" she said. Her face dropped when she realised what she said “Oh Eryn me and my mouth" she apologised. But Eryn shook her head, don’t be silly” she said, “Right what’s going on now, what’s he been up to?” Eryn asked “come on Eryn you know we can’t give it away he loves his little surprises our Taron" said his Aunty.  
Tina sent Eryn off to shower and then the they did Eryn’s hair and make up for her. Once she was ready Tina brought out a dress and shoes Taron had picked out for her. It was a soft golden pink spaghetti strap dress, is had a shimmering, sparkly over lay that was stunningly soft and flowing. The shoes a pair of light gold mid heel sandals matching the dress. Eryn was amazed it was just breath-taking. She looked up at the two women with her “Did he really choose these himself, with no help?” she asked “yes" they said together. The pride on Tina and her sisters faces shone. Eryn slipped the dress on over her most delicate underwear and looked in the mirror, she felt like a golden mermaid, her hair in a half up half down style and her lightly curled blonde hair resting on her newly bronzed skin.  
She again rolled her engagement finger with her thumb, overwhelmed. She had to sit for moment to stop herself from crying and wrecking her make up. Taking a deep breath, she stood, ready to go. She knew couldn’t fall apart yet, Taron clearly had more involved for this day. She was ready and as she walked out, Tina and her sister had also changed. Wearing pretty summer dresses and sandals. They walked out of the apartment block and Tina led the way to the Marina.  
As they began to walk down the main jetty, Eryn saw Taron. Wearing a pair of pale blue suit style shorts, a yellow, short sleeve shirt and deck shoes. He grinned when he saw her, running a little to meet his mam, his kissed her and whispered something to her, His aunty listening in. They walked a little way off and waited. “Taron Egerton” what are you up to?” Eryn asked taking in his look, he looked very dapper and tanned.  
“Well look at you?” He said “Now tell me what’s going on Welsh boy, why are we at the Marina are we getting on one of these?” she looked a little concerned “Don’t tell me that you get sea sick?” he asked in a teasing tone, but in the back of his mind he panicked. “I thought that you were a mermaid?” Eryn blushed loving that Taron had remembered. “I’m fine, but I just stopped feeling sick, so it better be a smooth sail” she looked at Taron, his face was alight. It always Shon the most when he was doing something for someone else, she loved seeing the excitement and anticipation.  
Taron took her hand and as they met with his Mam and Aunt, they walked a little further before coming to a large Yacht. Two overly excited young ladies, were already on board and clearly unable to wait any longer, were waving at those on the jetty to come aboard. Guy was with them and helped everyone climb onto the yacht. The girls also wore pretty summer dresses and their hair was braided a little down each side. As Eryn looked into the yacht se saw all of Taron’s, friends and family were present and the yacht was decorated with silver and gold ribbons. A large banner was strung across the deck reading “Congratulations Taron & Eryn” drinks were being given out and music was playing.  
Eryn looked at Taron, “Well as my plans for tonight were kind of derailed, I decided that I could still use the yacht and just invite everyone for a massive engagement party” he beamed. Eryn’s eyes danced around trying to take everything in. Her heart was in her mouth. She threw her arms around Taron’s neck and buried her face in his shoulder. “This is a dream isn’t it?” she said her voice shaky. “No sweetheart, this is real” Taron replied moving her so he could look at her.  
As they began to smile, Taron was accosted by Mari who was the youngest of his two sisters. She grabbed Eryn and Taron’s hands and pulled them up to the upper deck “We’re moving look” she cried excitedly as the yacht began slowly to move away from the marina and toward the open ocean. Taron crouched to her level “Can you see the loch ness monster yet Mari?” he asked “That’s in Scotland Taron, silly” she giggled. “Well Mari even the loch ness monster needs a holiday? Where do you think it goes?” Mari was unsure for a moment and looked at the water. Eryn watched them for a short while, As the shyer Rosie hovered between Eryn and Taron.  
Leaving Taron with the girls Eryn spotted Meghan and Niamh, “Omg Eryn!!” they giggled, coming over and hugging her “ Hey” she said a little red “This is amazing Eryn, I can’t even believe it” Meghan said sipping her drink, she was wearing a gorgeous red maxi dress and a little black bolero “So girls, come on help me out here, have you any idea what Taron’s got planned today?” Eryn asked, “Are you asking us to betray a trust Eryn?” Niamh pulled her best dramatic shocked look. “Yes, totally, female solidarity and all that” she replied. “No chance” the girls replied, “We want to see the look on your face as much as he does” “Oh so you know something then?” she chuckled.  
“As you are more than aware, our Taron likes his surprises, so you can guarantee somethings been planned”. The girl’s conversation continued as they sipped the wine that had been laid out on the table. After a while, as Eryn’s stomach rumbled, she broke away in search of food, finding some nibbles, she grabbed a few and went to find a quiet spot to relax. It wasn’t a massive yacht and with all those on board, it wasn’t all that easy, but she managed to find a little seating area at the back, where she could watch the ocean and take a breather. Taking it all in, she began thinking to her arrival in Aber and how far things had come in such a short space of time.  
She had rung her mother and told her the news, receiving the kind of response she expected. “Well don’t expect us to pay for another wedding Eryn, you’re only meant to get married once remember” her mother’s voice was dripping with jealousy. She is having stayed with Eryn’s father despite how he acted, refusing to even think of a divorce. It didn’t matter that the family were dragged into it all, that sides were demanded and so much hurt was being caused all round. “Despite being fully aware of Phil’s behaviour and what he had done to Eryn, even the recent attack, didn’t stop them from continuing a relationship with him and constantly berating her for leaving him. The blame for it all was clearly all Eryn’s and she must have ‘done’ something to cause him to do what he did.  
This was why she refused to have contact or even visit her parents now. She had had enough of them and the way that they drained her of all her energy and progress mentally. But as she sat and thought now at the end of the boat, she found herself feeling the familiar sadness that reared its head at the times when most women would have a family to celebrate with. She loved Taron’s and Tina was really like a Mam in so many ways. But it just was never going to be the same.  
She shook the words from her head, today she determined would not be ruined by them. As she looked up, wiping the tears that were threatening to fall. Taron appeared “There you are, what are you hiding here for?” he asked, stopping when he saw she looked sad and picking up on her body language. He sat next to her, taking her hand “What’s wrong?” he asked softly “If this is all too much, I get it. I can get us back to shore and tell everyone to go if you want” he asked Eryn pulled a face “Don’t be daft, I’m good” she smiled “ I’m not convinced, but if you say so” he said not at all reassured Eryn lay her head on his shoulder “Thank you for this babe and especially for my outfit, you have a career in styling if the acting doesn’t work out for you, you know” she laughed “In women’s clothing?” he raised one eyebrow, resting his head on hers. “I saw it and thought it was very you, I’m glad you like it” he continued “You do look really amazing baby”. “You don’t look to bad yourself” she said placing her hand on his knee and stroking his thigh. “Are we being dreadfully anti-social just sat out here?” Eryn asked after a while, she was enjoying looking out to the waves, resting on Taron and just chatting.  
“Hey it’s our party” he began “…and I’ll cry if I want to” Eryn interrupted making Taron chuckle “No, no crying” he laughed “But what I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted was that we can do what we want” he wriggled into a more comfortable position his arm around Eryn, moving them into a closer cwtch. “Were you really going to do all this to propose?” Eryn asked. Taron nodded “I thought I ought to do something to make up for the terrible way I did it after the wrap party” he said “I can’t believe you didn’t answer me, I was going nuts for days after that” he admitted “I told you, when I woke I up I thought I had dreamed it and at the time I thought I had said it out loud, but then when you didn’t say anything the next morning, I thought I must imagined it” she sighed. “Besides, the way you did it the other night was much more personal, I don’t mind a grand gesture, but it was perfect Taron, truly” Taron had to admit that he agreed.  
“There you two are” Tina said when she saw you, she pulled up a chair and sat. “You ok? Why are you hiding out here?” she asked a little concern on her face “We’re perfect Mam” Taron smiled. Tina relaxed a little “Good, but people are asking where you are?” she said. “We’ll come through in a bit Mam” Taron added “Well, you to have plenty of time to sit and chat later” she smiled “You do look beautiful right now though” she said seeing her son happy and relaxed made her heart swell. She had wondered if his big plans were a little over the top for Eryn, but seeing them together now she knew that the couple were uniquely Intune and he had clearly done a good job  
Tina stood “Come on then, go see your guests” she told Taron, pulling him from his seat. He turned “Ready?” he asked Eryn who let him pull her to her feet too. “Go on Taron, I wat a minute with my new daughter to be” Tina said grinning the same smile her son had inherited and responded in kind, Heading into the cabin. Tina pulled Eryn into a big hug “I know this must be hard, not having your own family here, so I wanted to check on you” she said. Eryn nodded “You read my mind, you and your son have a gift in that department you know” Tina laughed. “It is what it is” she replied “It can’t change, so I just have to accept it” Eryn looked at Tina, “Well, you have me and my lot now, so hopefully we can make up for what’s missing, if only a little bit” she smiled “Thank you Tina, truly that means so much” Eryn stopped herself again feeling emotional again.  
Seeing her, Tina now took her arm and they headed into the Cabin.  



	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33  
Once inside, Eryn found Taron quickly and the grabbed another drink. Mingling with everyone they enjoyed chatting and generally spending time with everyone. Eryn spent some time playing with the girls, chatting about their bridesmaid’s duties and outfits. The girls were so excited, but she tried to temper it knowing that that a child’s idea of time and an adult are quite different. She and Taron hadn’t set a date yet or discussed how long soon they were both thinking of. With Taron’s schedule Eryn knew that they would need to find a window that suited everyone.  
Eryn felt giddy just thinking about it and as the boat moved with the waves, she began to feel sick again. She decided to get some water to sip and more to eat, she hadn’t noticed how much champagne and wine she had already consumed. As the light began to dip, the yacht began to return to the Marina. Once docked family and friends began to say their goodbyes. Soon it was just Eryn and Taron left. He led her to the top deck, and they sat watching the light hitting the water, the pale pink and yellows of the sunset were as stunning as ever. Eryn had forgotten how beautiful it was. It was a perfect romantic scene to end the day. Taron was feeling it too as he lay his arm lazily around Eryn’s waist and kissed her sweetly on the cheek. “Man, my cheeks hurt” he turned to Eryn who had had a permanent smile on her face all day too. “Mine too, but I like it” she said “You like pain?” he asked cheekily “Kinky” he laughed “I might have me some hand cuffs” she joined in “So watch it welsh Boi” Taron raised an eyebrow “How do you know I wouldn’t enjoy that” he smirked.  
Closing the gap between them, Eryn kissed him firmly. Her hand resting on his chest, her fingers dipped beneath the shirt and stroked the hair on his chest. His hand went into her hair as his pressed his lips into hers. The kiss lasted some time as they explored each other as if it were the first time. Eryn’s hands soon moved to Taron’s neck and he hummed in pleasure. When eventually they separated, Taron looked deeply into Eryn’s eyes. “How did I get this lucky?” he said softly “I was thinking just the same thing” Eryn said, “How did you get this luck?” she laughed.  
Taron dropped his shoulders and mock pouted. Eryn landed a peck to his outstretched lips. Making him laugh. “This is heaven Taron” she sighed looking out at the horizon, resting her head on him again, his arms automatically moved around her and pulled her tight to him. “Totally perfect” he hummed.  
As the sunset, it grew colder and soon the breeze was too much. Taron helped Eryn onto the Jetty and the walked hand in hand back to the apartment. Eryn wasn’t sure today could be topped. But now she had a wedding to organise. She was going to avoid panicking over that just yet, but she knew this was going to be emotional. Thinking about what Tina had said, meant so much to her and she knew at least she would have some female back up.  
Reaching the apartment, Eryn walked to the window to shut the blinds, but found herself staring out at the stars that we now twinkling. Taron moved to her and held her again around the waist, laying a soft kiss on her neck “Penny for them?” he asked. “Just daydreaming” she answered leaning her head back on him as he continued to kiss her neck. Moving her soft curls to the side as he went.  
She closed her eyes, taking a heavy breath. As his hands moved the soft over lay of her dress as they began to roam her body. She pulled the chord, closing the blinds and turned to face him. Running her fingers up his cheek, she saw that familiar darkening in his eyes as they ran over her face and body. Kissing him, she held his face in her hands, as he walked them both backward.  
Before they knew it, they were falling, landing on the sofa, Eryn on top. They burst into 9laughter. Checking Eryn was ok, without asking Taron didn’t waste time in returning to the kiss. This time is was harder, stronger and with definite desire. It wasn’t long before he found the zip on the back of her dress and lowered it. Giving him more access to her chest, he kissed the soft skin above her breasts as his hands ran over them, letting out a soft groan that excited Eryn. Sitting up she allowed the dress to drop off her shoulders and down to her waist. Reaching behind she undid the bra and pulled it off.  
Taron lay back watching Eryn strip for him. She smiled at him seductively. His hands held her hips as took her naked body in. moving forward her took her head in his hand and kissed her hard and strong. Eryn could feel him harden as the kiss deepened.  
She fumbled with his buttons, trying to get his shirt of “Jesus” she mumbled making Taron laugh against her lips. Moving back, she scowled “Get it off for me … now” she grumbled as Taron began to struggle with the buttons too. “Damn it” he moaned when he too struggled. Smirking he pulled the shirt hard. Buttons flicked of the fabric and all around as he ripped the shirt off and flung it.  
Eryn burst into laughter but was stopped by Taron’s kiss. She moved a little letting him wriggle the dress off her legs along with her underwear as she untied his shorts reaching below the elastic, she held him in her hand. He groaned as she did so. Wriggling free of his shorts and boxers as she slid her hand up and down his erection, seeing his reactions was so erotic she felt the urgency in her increase. Letting go she straddled him as his hands moved to hold her waist as she lowered herself onto him. As she took him in so soon, it was a little sore but she soon responded and relaxed. He began slow and rocked her back and forth, his hands running up to her breasts.  
His fingers lighting squeezing and pinching her nipples as she moaned and whimpered to his touch, he groped at her round, sumptuous breasts, raising his head and running his tongue over the hard peaks. Moving quicker now, Eryn held him by the waist, giving her the grip, she needed to ride him, grinding herself against him. It felt like nothing else. Grabbing his wrists, she held them above his head “Now I need those cuffs” she groaned looking at him, the passion and desire in every inch of her expression.  
Find the rhythm they began to move together, her high began to take hold and as he sped up, she found herself quickly Cumming. Screaming out his name, she fell on him. Breathless and still smiling. He too was panting. Leaving her body, she moved down and licked the tip of his cock, aware he hadn’t finished with her she was determined to see him fully satisfied. She used her hand and tongue together to create a combination that sent him wild and it wasn’t long before he was breathing “now baby I’m Cumming” and she felt him release, swallowing she kissed his dick with little pecks. Before moving up to lay on his chest.  
“Best day ever” she grinned, closing her eyes as she felt Taron’s chest breathing heavily under her head. “Don’t know how we top this” Taron agreed kissing her head.  
The sky was grey back in London, Taron was off shooting his new project and Eryn was back to meetings with her publisher and looking for other work to do. The trip away had been so amazing and just what they both needed. But now reality was well and truly back. Eryn opened her email to find one from Taron’s publicist Lyndsay the subject box read “congrats we need a statement” reading the body of the email she knew what was coming, now they were engaged a statement needed to go out before the press got wind, apparently they had done the impossible and despite the yacht and all the glamour of the day, no one from the press had known and so there were no dodgy pics to answer to. But that was unlikely to remain the case, especially as Taron was a big mouth and had already told anyone and everyone. Not that Eryn minded, she loved that he wanted everyone to know and it made her smile to see him so happy and giddy. She on the other hand had few people to tell, so she hadn’t really got to worry. She of course rang and told Henny, that same night and as official maid of honour she had been emailing reams of pictures and info on weddings to Eryn, even signing her up with subscriptions for all the wedding magazines.  
Tina too had been sending all sorts of local information venues, caterers etc. It had been a no brainer that they would marry in Aberystwyth. After all it was where they met and fell in love, not to mention it being his hometown and Eryn now felt her spiritual home. There was a ridiculous amount to think about though and everyone was nagging her and Taron to hurry up and set a date. They hadn’t even discussed it yet, for some reason Eryn found herself avoiding the conversation and whenever Taron or anyone else brought it up, she would find a distraction.  
Today, Eryn has another priority. She had been disappointed that the therapy had gone so badly and knew Taron was too. He had blamed himself for her downward spiral and no matter how many times Eryn tried to tell her that it wasn’t his fault and it was all part of the therapy. He was still clearly holding onto some guilt. She had decided a new tack was needed and reading about EDMR she decided to give it a go. This therapy was new and sounded crazy, but survivors of the Manchester Bombing had been raving about how it helped their PTSD and Eryn decided if it helped them it was at least worth looking into.  
Without telling Taron, she had booked a consultation with the specialist today. She was getting ready to go when he video called “Hey fiancé” He grinned, Taron had taken to calling Eryn Fiancé as often as possible, another reason to get the statement ready she thought “Hey” she replied checking out the blonde wig he had on “ I like your hair like that” she admitted laughing “What 80’s hair is sexy now?” “Taron you know what give me Eddie over Eggsy any day babe” he laughed “What no pinstripe suit and wink? You prefer skin tight lycra” Eryn nodded furiously making him laugh again “I don’t have long babe, but I wanted to ring to tell you I love and ask if you got Lyndsay’s email” Eryn nodded “I love you too” she replied “Yeah I got it, can we reply together when you get back£ she continued “Of course, I might be late though about 9 or 10pm” he already looked tired and she knew how much shooting tired him out. “Ok well if you’re not too knackered, take it easy it’s the first day” she nagged a little. Taron crossed his heart and blew her a kiss “I have to go babe, sorry” he pouted “Don’t be silly welsh Boi, go get em” she grinned, and he ended that call.  
She grabbed her phone and purse, chucking them in her bag and headed off to her consultation.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34  
As Eryn left the therapists office, she smiled. The consultation had gone really well, and she was excited to begin the work. As she walked to the tube, she began to feel a dull ache in the right side of her stomach. She stopped for a moment “God you’re unfit” she thought out loud, “who gets a stitch just walking down to the tube for god’s sakes?” she laughed at herself. Planting her Oyster card on the panel she walked through the barrier and her mind went to Taron at home, he had night shoots starting tonight and she knew he wasn’t looking forward to them, he was eager to get into the work as ever, but he struggled with the schedule.  
Sending him a cheeky text while she rode the tube home, she teased him and hoped he didn’t have anything planned that afternoon. She had decided already to get an early night. The holiday had been amazing, but she was exhausted from all the travel and she was looking forward to bath and a cuddle, before Taron had to leave. She walked the short way to the flat, smiling at the security guard as she walked through the gates. As she entered the lift, the pain in her side suddenly became a sharp stab, taking her breath away and making her scream out.  
As the door to the lift opened, she was shaking off the effect of the sudden pain. It had eased, though it was odd. She kicked her shoes off as she walked in “Taron?” she called out. There was no answer. AS she walked through to lounge, she saw his back was to her, he had his headphones on and was playing something on his record player, his eyes closed. The opportunity was too good to miss and she crept up to surprise him, she moved in to kiss the back of his neck. As another sharp pain hit her, this time causing her to drop to the lean on the sofa. Making Taron jump.  
“Shit, babe is you ok?” he said pulling off his head. “I’m not sure, I keep getting this sharp pain in my tummy” she frowned. Looking concerned he patted the sofa “Come and sit, see if it helps, do you want me to grab some painkillers” he asked. Eryn lay on the sofa where it was warm from where Taron had been sitting and he perched next to her. “Yes please” she replied so Taron disappeared returning shortly after with a glass of water and two pills. When he did, he saw Eryn curled up, her eyes screwed shut. Eryn took the pills gratefully, “Babe grab the bin, I feel…” It was too late as Eryn threw up suddenly and violently. “Ok I’m calling the doctor” Taron said rubbing Eryn’s back gently with one hand whilst scrolling through his contacts at the same time.  
The doctor was on their way, Eryn looked red as her temperature rose. Taron laid a cold flannel on her forehead. As she groaned and every now and then another stab hit her. She grabbed Taron’s hand when these happened. Soon the GP was knocking at the door. Taron greeted her and showed her though to Eryn. She examined her and thought for a moment “OK I’m calling you an ambulance” she said. Eryn and Taron looked at each other panicked “I think it might be an appendicitis, as it’s come on so quickly” she said. “It’ll be fine, you will need it out, but it’s routine. We just have to move quickly to get it out before its bursts” she continued.  
Taron squeezed Eryn’s hand “Are you ok? I mean apart from the obvious” he asked and she nodded “T, you might need to throw some stuff in a bag I feel like I’ll be staying in” she asked and Taron went into the bedroom, he grabbed the overnight bag from under the bed and threw some nightwear, slippers and dressing gown into it, going through the draws he added anything he thought she might need. Moving to the bathroom he collected her toothbrush and other bits. As he was finishing, he heard Eryn shout out in pain. He appeared beside her “It’s getting worse?” He asked. She nodded looking small and scared. The paramedics knocked on the door and the GP met them explaining her findings.  
The first responders were kind and making silly jokes, they lightened the tension. Eryn was placed on a wheelchair and wheeled to the lift as Taron followed grabbing both their jackets on the way passed. Once settled in the ambulance, the crew gave her some pain relief and her face softened as the pain reduced. Taron held her hand, chatting to her, he distracted her. She found the drugs making her drowsy and began to doze off. She could here Taron giving the paramedic her details and grew groggy.  
When she woke, she was in a bed on the ward. She had a drip in her hand and her eyes were heavy. Stirring she saw Taron’s head on his arms, laid on the bed next to her. She touched his head and he looked up he too sleepy. “Hey, you” he said. “Something about his tone was confusing. “What happened, I fell asleep” she said, realising she had an oxygen tub in her nose. She wriggled it and Taron shook his head placing his fingers on it to stop her pulling it out.  
She looked at him, his eyes were red as though he had been crying. “Did I have the op already?” she said groggily. Taron moved up and kissed her cheek. He rested his head on her shoulder and let out a huge exhale. “Taron what is it? What’s wrong?” Eryn was beginning to panic. It was just an appendicitis, why was Taron so upset? Why wasn’t he saying anything? She was confused and drowsy. Her eyes began to feel too heavy to stay open again. Taron hugged her burying his head in her neck. She fought hard but it was no good, she drifted into sleep again.  
When she woke again, it was dark. As she attempted turning in the bed, she groaned her stomach screaming in pain. Scrunching up her eyes, her hand ran down her body to her stomach. Under her stomach button was a large dressing reaching around her body. She gingerly touched it with her fingertips. The pain was unbearable, and he hand fell to the side. Taron had been asleep in the chair, at the side of Eryn and was suddenly awake at her scream, he sprang to his feet bleary eyed he looked at Eryn “What is it babe?” he croaked. “Pain?” he asked “Press this” he told her placing a cylindrical item into her hand, it had a small button on the end and as she pressed it, she felt cold fluid run up her arm from her IV and shortly after the pain began to ease. “The nurse said, to hit that whenever you needed to” Taron explained.  
He stroked the hair away from her eye and blinking quickly he looked into hers. He smiled slightly “How are you feeling?” he asked sweetly. “Better” she nodded. “Taron what happened, one minute I was in an ambulance and then… then here” Taron perched on the edge of the hospital bed. “You might want to be a bit more awake to hear it all babe” he said. Eryn knew that look; it was not a good look. It meant bad news. She wriggled uncomfortably over to make room for Taron.  
He took her hand and stared at it, the engagement ring twinkled a little and he smiled at it running his index fingertip over it. “Baby, you had to have that hysterectomy” he said. Eryn was confused, “But why what happened, the GP told me I was stable”. Taron rubbed his eyes and looked at her “Eryn, you were pregnant sweetheart” he felt as if it weren’t him speaking and his vision blurred with the tears he fought back. Eryn’s mind was rushing and heart beating fast “But I can’t they said I couldn’t??” she rambled “They didn’t say you couldn’t conceive, apparently you just couldn’t carry.” he coughed and stood walking over to the wall he faced it as he steadied himself, staring at a stain that was on it.  
“No, they, no I don’t remember” Eryn felt her breath catching in her chest, she refused to hear or accept this. No! she would never have not used contraception if she had even the smallest idea this could happen. Her mind was a blur as she looked at Taron. She realised her was still staring at the wall. “Taron?” He cleared his throat, wiping his eyes he turned and looked at her. She reached her hand out and he took it. Sitting back on the bed. “Don’t do that” she demanded firmly “please don’t turn away from me” she added. His eyes ran across the expression on her face, she was reacting unlike anything he thought. She was angry, he was angry too.  
He laid his head on her chest, listening to the raid pace of her heart. “The baby, how old was it?” she asked him quietly “8 weeks” he answered. His eyes stared at her stomach, it rose and fell with each of her breaths. “So, it’s all gone now, everything?” she scowled trying to understand and process it. Thinking that she had time to get used to the idea of the procedure and its effects, she was now going to have to speed that process up. “I should have been more careful Eryn, I’m sorry” Taron spoke slowly “No Taron, it’s not your fault, we didn’t know this could happen, if anything it’s mine, I should have asked. I … didn’t even think” she trailed of as her hand found Taron’s forehead, her fingers massaged along the line of his hair as she to stared ahead in a daze.  
After a long silence, Taron closed his eyes. Resting his hand on Eryn’s stomach about the wound. “I want it Taron” she whispered “I wanted it all and I wanted it for you too” she sniffed a little. The tears silently ran down her cheeks. “I want it back” she whined Taron turned and kissed the spot beneath him. “I can’t fix this, I want to fix it” he spoke softly, but his words were tinged with grief. Eryn resumed running her hands through his hair as he turned to face her, his face was full of desperation. Eryn nodded she hurt for them both, wanting to take away the pain in his eyes. Knowing what an amazing father he would be.  
“Are we still parents?” she voiced the worst of her confusion “I don’t know” he admitted. “I feel like we were maybe” he said “Then I guess that’s what matters most” Eryn replied. Taron smiled at her sentimentality, it was something they both shared and it meant so much to him that they could be sentimental about the same things, he wouldn’t feel foolish or embarrassed. “Oh god Taron, all that champagne, did I? what if I?” Eryn began to hyperventilate thinking about the last 8 weeks and all the things she had done; did she cause this somehow? Taron sat up, holding her head in his hands “No, STOP” he shouted making her jump “Shit, sorry I… no Eryn, you didn’t do this” his eyes darted from between hers.  
She swallowed and calmed after the fright, looking at him she nodded. “Phil” Taron growled punching the chair cushion. It shocked and scared Eryn, seeing the anger in him, though she understood his pain. “He did this Eryn!” he couldn’t look at her. “And I brought him into our lives, yours” she answered staring at Taron. “He did this to me, but Taron I did it to you by bringing him into your life, by allowing you to let me into yours” she finished. “Now don’t you get it, this is what I warned you about… Taron I need you to leave” she looked at the bed, her finger rolling the ring on her finger, pushing it up and almost off.  
Taron watched her. “fine” he said angrily and walked out. Her body shook as her breath rattled through her ribcage. Her eyelashes fluttered and flashed as she gawped at the door, Taron’s ghostly shadow seemed to still be there, walking through over and over as she stared, he had really gone.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35  
Eryn was discharged a few days later and checked into a hotel. She sat on the edge of the bed, numb. Her phone laid on the bed, empty. Not one message or call from Taron had come through since he walked out. She had decided in the taxi to come here rather than the flat. Needing time to think and space to process what had happened. Henny was on the first flight from New York, when she heard her friend crying and gasping down the phone. She had been shocked when she heard Eryn tell her the news. How had she gone from the happiness and sunset of the yacht to a grotty hotel room and a single bag of dirty clothes.  
Eryn lay back on the bed, the springs creaking as it took her weight. She groaned at the pain in her lower abdomen. She had lied to the medical staff, when they wanted to know she would be returning to someone who could provide 24-hour care for her. Henny would be another 4-5hrs yet. She swallowed her medication and lay her head on the pillow. Closing her eyes, she saw Taron’s face as he turned to walk away, as if on repeat. Then his face morphed back and forth into Phil’s. She slipped into sleep, dreaming of Taron’s face in the wood, Taron attacking her woke her with a start.  
The pain of sitting so quickly ripped through her as though someone had cut her in two. She wanted to curl up, but it was just more painful, so she tentatively lay flat, her hands resting at her side. She panted and breathed slowly. She didn’t mean it to happen, but somehow Taron was there, his chest against her back and her anxiety left her. Crying silent tears, he did too. She glanced again at the motionless, silent phone. Reaching over to it, she unlocked the screen and looked at the screensaver. Taken at the engagement party, they both looked so happy. She swiped it away and tapped a text out.  
“Tina, I need to know that Taron’s ok, please understand I cannot ask him myself” she placed the phone on her chest as it sent. Within second it rang, with Tina’s name flashing. Eryn answered tentatively waiting for the anger she thought Tina would greet her with. “Eryn? What on earth’s going on?” Tina asked concerned and little panicking “Why are you asking if he is alright? Isn’t he with you?” she threw question after question out in quick succession. “Eryn?” she finally said slowly.  
“Tina has Taron not told you that I was taken to hospital a few days ago?” Eryn asked, she was still in a lot of pain and it could be heard in her voice. “Eryn, I haven’t spoken to him since Friday” Tina was clearly confused and not impressed by her son’s lack of communication. “Eryn, what happened? Are you ok? Was it that man again?” Tina couldn’t help herself. “Sorry Eryn, just answer one at a time” she sighed “It’s okay Tina” she explained all that had happened, including where she was now, and that Henny was flying in anytime now. Tina listened quietly to Eryn. But as she did so she was already getting her shoes and car keys. She climbed into the car, mouthing “Eryn” and “ring you later” to Guy and sat in the car as they completed the call. “Eryn, I’m in the car I will be with you in 2/3hrs tops, do not tell me not to, I’m coming down there and sorting that boy out”  
Eryn was stunned, and somewhat guilty. Taron had no idea his mother was about to descend on him. But she was passed caring, he hadn’t even bothered to tell her. Eryn found it hard to think of the loss as losing an actual baby. She had googled images of babies at 8 weeks and they images looked more like prawn than a child. She felt like she’d lost a child though. There was no way to know if it was a boy or girl, the sex organs wouldn’t have developed. She also struggled with the knowledge that the remains were ‘disposed of’ whatever that meant. She craved for Taron to come and hold her, to do what he did best. To soothe her pain, but she also felt deserving of it.  
She hadn’t said it out of spite, she meant it when she told Taron, she had brought it all on them. She remembered the day she met Phil and wished she had turned away from his drunken advances, his clumsy flattery and massive fucking nose. She laughed and caught herself, the laughter increasing her pain. But then it hit her, she laughed and at him. Maybe thing was getting better in her head, even if it was only in a small way.  
Her brain returned to the recent ordeal. She picked up the green discharge paperwork, reading the discharge notes, she found out that she had had an ectopic pregnancy and not a miscarriage. The foetus had implanted in her fallopian tube, it would never have been able to grow to term. She felt slightly better knowing it had nothing to do with her messed up insides. She sighed; she should tell Taron. She picked up her phone and took a shot of the paperwork. Attaching it to a text that read.  
<<>>  
Sending it before she could back out. She dropped the letter onto the bed and gently placed her hand on her tummy. Feeling hollow and empty, she closed her eyes. She was woken by the phone ringing. It was Henny. She was downstairs, she would let herself in. Eryn tried to move, she was stiff and squealed each time she moved even a little. As she managed to move her legs over the side of the bed, a trickle of blood ran down the inside of her leg. She had read the pamphlet about ‘What to expect post hysterectomy’ and new heavy bleeding was a symptom. She had been given baby wipes and monster thick pads, by the hospital. She reached into the bag they gave her and pulled both out.  
She was just about to stand when the door clicked and a suitcase entered the room, shortly followed by Henny. Seeing the state of Eryn, she quickly shut the door and was by her side “What the fuck are you doing then?” she asked “Toilet” Eryn winced her face was white. “Ok” Henny said wrapping her arm around her friend’s waist and helping her step slowly into the bathroom “babe is you sure you shouldn’t still be in hospital?” Henny asked as Eryn let out a loud squeal of pain as she sat. “Hen, they ripped my womb out, it’s not gonna feel great or look pretty is it?” she groaned as the relief of emptying her bladder was soon replaced by the sting of urine on her sore underside.  
Once Henny had Eryn back in bed and the women had got settled with mugs of coffee and snacks Henny had brought with her. Henny was filled in with the full story, right up to the lack of a reply from her earlier text. “So, you told him to leave and he just did?” Henny clarified. She slurped her coffee and mulled it over. “So, he’ll say he did what you asked, won’t he?2 she offered. Eryn managed only to sip her coffee as she nibbled the edge of an over-stuffed mega Oreo. “Exactly, but I didn’t say don’t call or test and I didn’t say leave, forever did I?” she answered “No, so why did you tell him to go? I know you didn’t want him to?” Henny continued.  
The pair talked on and soon they both began to feel tired. The light had gone, and it was gone midnight, so with help from Henny, Eryn got undressed and into bed. Henny took a look at Eryn’s tummy. “To be fair, it’s barely a wound, it’s just a line across the v of your crotch” she said. “Feels like a massive gash” Eryn moaned. “Well sorry Hun, it may be because all the insides are mucked about” she answered. Eryn nodded “They said the organs would settle into the space. It’s only the size of my palm anyway” she mused. Henny lay next to her “I know I’m not Taron, But I can still give good hugs” Henny said moving over and holding her best friend. “God, I miss him Hen” she blurted, tears falling again. Henny held her tighter and stroked her head “I know honey, I know”  
==  
Across town, Taron was sat in his armchair staring straight ahead. He was surrounded by beer bottles and take away cartons. The curtains were closed, and the flat was eerily silent. Taron turned suddenly when he heard his front door, getting up he saw his mother enter, she didn’t look happy. But Taron who had hoped beyond hope that it was Eryn, Burst into tears at the sight of his Mam. Tina pulled her son close and held him tight “Oh Taron, why the hell didn’t you tell me?” She said her anger disappearing at the sight of her son in such a state. He clearly hadn’t washed or shaved for days, there was an unpleasant lingering smell in the flat and his clothes were dirty and creased. He looked a mess.  
“Come on, go shower while I clear up and then you are going to talk to me young man” she ordered. Taron managed a small laugh at being called ‘young man’ as if he were a child again. He slunk off and turned the shower on. He pulled off the dirty clothes throwing them in the laundry bin. But as he stepped under the water, he caught sight of Eryn’s numerous beauty products, his heart fell. He picked up the shampoo and opened it. Taking in its scent he immediately pictured the way Eryn’s long blonde hair smelt as he held her from behind or when it dropped softly onto his arm as they sat closely.  
He shut to bottle and shook himself, focusing back on getting himself clean. He brushed his teeth and dressed in clean sweats. He noticed his mam had changed the bed sheets, making the bed. He wandered into the lounge. The light from the windows hurt his eyes, he was still hung over from too many beers the night before. He found Tina cleaning the kitchen, having cleared away the trash and making the lounge spotless. “Thanks Mam” Taron said softly as he sat at the breakfast bar. “Leave the rest, I’ll get to it later” he said “Taron you know if I am mad, I clean” she shot him a warning look. “I take it you spoke to her” He said grimly. “Taron your fiancé has a name and yes, she rang to ask how you were, imagine how I felt when I had to tell her you hadn’t called” she chided. “Mam, I didn’t know how to…I’m sorry I should have” he dropped his head. Tina moved to him and gently ruffled his hair “It’s okay”. Tina turned to the kettle that had boiled and poured the hot water into the teapot that only came out when she was visiting, she placed it on the tray she’d set with 2 mugs, spoons and a milk jug. “Let me” Taron said jumping off the stool and taking the tray, he followed Tina into the lounge and set the tray on the coffee table.  
Then he sat, pouring in the tea and adding the milk. He took one and passed it to Tina, who sat next to him. Sipping his own he remained sat forward as Tina leaned back. “So, come on, what on earth are you doing here and not with Eryn?” She asked “She doesn’t wat me around, she told me to leave” he said grumpily. “And she meant, that did she?” Tina asked unconvinced. “Why say it if she didn’t mean it” he sounded like a grumpy teenager and he knew it, “I needed to think anyway mam” he said “So why are you ignoring each other? Why is she texting me to ask if you’re ok?” she asked. He looked at her “Did she really ask you that?” he asked. Tina nodded sarcastically as if he needed her to confirm it.  
It was then that Tina, looked around. “Where is your phone?” she asked. Taron looked sheepish “Taron?” Tina asked again suspicious and knowing her son’s facial expressions. “I got angry and smashed it up” he admitted. “Oh Taron, you needed that for work, for …” Tina trailed off. “I ordered another it’s coming” he answered. He gazed down into his mug, watching the coloured liquid slowly rotating. “So, I couldn’t call or text her Mam” he sighed. “Right, well here” she said handing him her phone. “Go in there and call her” she ordered him, finishing her cup and placing it on the table.  
“The sooner you do, the easier it will be” she told him. “ But Mam I don’t know what to say to her” Tina could see her son was struggling, but knew that the pair needed to be together right now, to support each other and no matter what Eryn had asked him, she knew Eryn needed Taron as much as he needed her. “You will” she said softly. “Mam, I’m so angry though and I know it scares her, I don’t want to scare her, I don’t want her to think I’m like, like him” he spat. His face sharpened and his lips thinned as he thought about all the pain and damage Phil had done to him and Eryn.  
“Then tell her that” Tina said, surprising Taron “What?” he asked confused “Exactly what you just said to me, I am sure that Eryn knows that it’s okay to show anger and you can’t live your life hiding or running away whenever you feel angry, in case it upsets her” she continued. Taron knew she was right, he hadn’t thought of it as running away, but he realised it was exactly what he was doing. “I can’t call her until visiting time anyway Mam, phones are meant to be off on the ward” he said. “Taron Eryn is at a hotel, she was discharged this morning, if you had your phone you might know” Taron shot a look at his mother, “She didn’t come home?” he said clearly feeling the shock of her decision. He blinks furiously taking it in.  
“Has she left me?” he looked desperately at his mother. “I don’t think so, but I imagine not hearing from you all this time, made her wonder if you wanted her home?” Tina pointed out. Taron ran his hand through his hair. “Jesus mam, what’s wrong with me?” he dropped back into the sofa and lay his head on her shoulder. She moved a piece of fringe that had landed in his eye. “So, my phone?” she said gesturing it at him. He smiled a little and took the phone. “Mam, we lost a baby” he closed his eyes to the pain saying the words caused in his chest. “It might have been small and everything, but it hurts Mam” he admitted. He moved round burying his head in her shoulder as she held him. He cried hard, as if he were letting go of months of pain and stress. Tina rocked him, the way she did when he had come to her as a toddler with a cut knee, a schoolboy who was bullied as the new guy in school and when he failed to get into RADA the first time.  
When his tears had been spent, he lifted his head. Kissing his mam on the cheek. He swallowed hard and held the phone up, intimating his decision to call Eryn. He walked into the bedroom and shut the door.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36  
When the name flashed up, Eryn stared at it for moment unbelieving her eyes. She pressed the answer button “Taron” she whimpered breaking his heart, as he heard her pain he answered “Where are you, I’m coming to get you” he said. Eryn closed her eyes relief flooded her pained body. Giving him the hotel details, she explained that Henny was with her. He was surprised and impressed that henny had flown out. He hurt that Eryn had felt she had to call her, and he wasn’t there. But he got his car keys and told his Mam he was going to pick them both up.  
Tina was going to drive home, but Taron wouldn’t allow her to make the journey twice in one day. Insisting she stay in the guest room. Tina reluctantly agreed but warned Taron she would be staying in her room so that he and Eryn would talk properly. He nodded and headed out. Eryn told Henny of the call as soon as she finished. The ringing phone had disturbed both of the sleeping friends. “Did I fly out for no reason Ren?” Henny teased “Oh god, Hen I don’t mean to drop you, oh god babe” Eryn felt awful, She had been desperate and her best friend had dropped everything, flying 9 hours at no notice and now her she was abandoning her, because suddenly her boyfriend, fiancé? Had become suddenly available again. Henny laughed, “You need to talk to Taron, I will be here if you need me, don’t worry sweetie” she grinned. Eryn tried to hug Henny, but the pain was restricting her movements still, so Henny moved to Eryn to fill the Gap. “You are the best friend ever, you know that Hen, I mean that. Please say you will stick around; I’ll cover this rooms cost or another if you want or come stay with me and Taron… well” she trailed off “That’s if things are still ok with us” she stuttered.  
She was glad he was coming to get her, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t still going to say he couldn’t be with her anymore, he might be coming to take care of her out of some misplaced loyalty or need to do the right thing and really it was still over. Her mind went into overdrive. “Stop over thinking” Henny muttered. “I see those cogs turning from here” she said sleepily. Henny threw off the duvet and pushed her feet into her trainers. Getting Eryn, a robe, she helped her tie it and put her trainers on for her. Grabbing all her stuff and putting it into the bags she had, she was ready when Taron got there.  
As if by magic, he knocked right at the exact moment, Henny finished. She went and opened the door. Taron swallowed “Hi” he breathed as Henny pulled him into a hug “Babe I am so sorry about what happened” she said into his ear, “Sort it out thought yeah” she continued as she pulled out of the embrace and he nodded. Walking over to Eryn “ready? He asked and Eryn nodded. She stood tentatively and Taron was shocked by her condition. “Babe you should be in hospital, there is no way you ought to be in this state” he said “I just want our bed” she whimpered. Taron looked at Henny, who shrugged. “Okay” Taron agreed, but made a mental note to call a doctor once he had her settled to come check her over. Taron and Eryn said goodbye to Henny and promised to call in the morning.  
The car journey was awful, Taron almost diverted to the hospital three times, Eryn was in so much pain and tears rolled down her face at every stop and bend. Taron did all he could to make the ride steady and not make any sharp jerks or sudden moves, but it was difficult to do anything about the bumps in the road surface. They were both relieved to finally pull into the car park. Taron held her tightly, with her bag over his shoulder as they walked gently and slowly to the lift and into the apartment.  
Shutting the door behind him with a kick of his foot, he managed to get Eryn settled and comfortable in the king size bed. She let out a massive sigh as she finally felt relief from the pain, it was still there and strong. But the journey had almost been unbearable, and she had almost agreed to go back to the hospital. But she wanted to lay with Taron, just them and she knew that wasn’t going to happen anywhere else. As Taron put her bags in the lounge ad got her a drink. Tina nipped into the bedroom, she sat next to Eryn and hugged her. She reassured her that she’d not been too hard on Taron and explained for him about his phone and why he’d not called or texted her.  
It made sense, now Eryn knew. Taron wasn’t one to sulk and ignore you, even if he was upset or mad at you. Tina hugged her son and kissed them both before making a tactful exit to her room. Taron handed Eryn a mug of sweet tea and the painkillers she was due. He plumped the pillows next to her and sat against the headboard, waiting for her finish her drink. “I shouldn’t have left” he said finally. “I shouldn’t have told you to” she replied looking at her mug and not Taron, he too focussed on a mole on his arm as he spoke. “You didn’t come home” he said sadly, Eryn could hear the hurt in his voice. Closing her eyes momentarily, she put her mug down and slowly, carefully turned her body to his. He looked up at her, his eyes were blood shot and tired, she stroked his cheek and he shut his eyes, revelling in her touch. “I thought you had left me” she admitted quietly.  
Taron took her hand and held it, “Eryn I didn’t ask you to marry me, so I could just leave when something bad happened” he was sad that she had even thought he would do what she had said. “Even with this on your finger, you can’t trust me to not leave you?” he said it sounding like a question, more than a statement. “Everyone leaves me eventually Taron, don’t you understand that” Eryn didn’t mean to sound angry, she couldn’t explain to Taron how it was to never had anyone to rely on, to learn from the day you were born that you were utterly alone in the world. “I do trust you won’t leave me; I believe it. The fear is just always there” she admitted.  
He nodded. “Well, your home now” he said, “You are staying?” he asked suddenly unsure. “If you still want me, still want to be part of my madness, my mess” she whimpered again. “Always Eryn, Always Always Always” he grew louder and firmer with each repeat of the word. Eryn raised her eyes to look at him. As he returned the small smile she had developed. He moved to gently pull her to him, as she rested her head on his chest, the familiar smell of him filling her nostrils. Her hand rested on his heart as she felt it beating beneath. He rested his chin in her head. “It’s not anyone’s fault” Eryn said “you didn’t get my text” she realised and told Taron about the discharge paperwork and what it said.  
“So, it had nothing to do with what happened?” he said, and Eryn shook her head. Taron kissed the top of Eryn’s head. “If they said it’s no one’s fault, you need to quit feeling guilty now Eryn, the same goes for anything that Phil has ever done or said, that is on him and him only.” Taron was speaking firmly, and Eryn knew he was right. She nodded, kissing Taron’s chest. “I want to be a Mother Taron, I want you to be a father and I wanted to give that to you so, so much” she said looking up at him. “I know, I know. I wanted that, want that all too” He could she how much this meant to her and ached to know how to fix it.  
“Eryn I left because I was so angry, I want to fix this and I can’t and I hate that so much” he admitted “I thought my anger would scare you, that you would see it and think I was just like Phil, I’m sorry I left” he again dropped his head, ashamed of his actions. But glad he had spoken up. “I could never be scared of you Taron” Eryn spoke confidently, and Taron looked at her with sad desperation in his eyes “No matter how angry you get” she told him. Seeing his face, she leaned forward to kiss him, but pain shot through her. Taron instead kissed her; his lips quivered with emotion as she pressed harder. Slowly taking everything, she could from his lips, she breathed deeply into him as their lips separated.  
“I will never leave you Eryn, I promise if I walk out, I am still here, and I will come back” He placed his hand on her heart as he said, “I’m still here”.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37  
Eryn shut the laptop, she groaned as she placed her feet flat on the floor. Stretching her neck out she stood unsteadily and padded to the bathroom. Looking at her haggard reflection she, rolled her eyes and sat down to urinate. She washed her hands and turned the bath taps on, adding her Epsom salts. She was well on the way to recovery; her underside was niggling painful only and as she brushed her teeth, she took in her scar in the full-length mirror. Running her eyes over her body. She spat out the minty froth and wiped her face “God your sexy” she said sarcastically at herself as she stepped into the hot water and dropped her head back. Her hair floating out she closed her eyes.  
She could hear Taron’s music playing out through the speakers and let her mind go to images of the two of them dancing on the roof top. She began to sing along “I could drink a case of you…” she sang enjoying the soothing warmth. Taron’s face appeared cheekily around the bathroom door, he had the pink broom in his hand and was using it as a microphone, he pretended to sing into it as he grinned and swept the floor a little, before disappearing again. Eryn laughed planting her palm on her forehead. She heard him continued to sing and sweep the bedroom floor.   
When her fingers were becoming wrinkled, Eryn reluctantly washed her hair and climbed out of the tub. She wrapped a fluffy towel around herself and sat at the vanity, brushing he long hair properly for the first time in ages. She stared at it, picking up the phone she made a call. Brushing a coat of mascara onto her lashes, Eryn carefully dressed in soft harem pants and a vest top, slipping her sandals on, she collected her bag and slipped out of the apartment.  
Taron who was still on a housework frenzy, was ironing and turned when he heard the door shut. Walking into the bedroom, he found it empty as was the bathroom. He grabbed his phone and called Eryn “Where are you?” he asked concerned. “I just needed a walk, fresh air, I won’t be long” she said hanging up before he could continue. Taron was aware that she was up to something but returned to grinding his hips along to the music as he ran the hot iron over the clothes. Singing at top volume.  
It was past 5pm, when Eryn finally returned home. Taron was sat on the sofa, he grabbed his book and pretended that he hadn’t been sat worrying for the last hour. When Eryn walked into the room, Taron nearly dropped the book. Instead of the long flowing blonde curls Taron was used to. Eryn now had a short, pink Bob, A symmetrical its blunt diagonal shape framed her face perfectly. She had clearly had a spray tan as it set of the soft pink and blonde tones in her new hair. Her nails had immaculate French manicure and toes a sparkling pink glitter.   
She smiled nervously, wondering what her fiancé would say. He got up and moved quickly to her. His eyes roving all over, taking it all in. She blinked shyly as the wait killed her “Jesus Taron say something” she breathed. He took her hand and pulled her too him, pressing his hand against her cheek. “How are you feeling?” he said flashing his eyes to the floor and back up. Knowing what he meant, she let her eyes raise a little, before smiling and nodding. “I think if we are careful” she looked into Taron’s sparkling eyes as he eagerly led her into the bedroom.  
Pulling of his clothes, he jumped into the bed grinning. Eryn sat carefully on the edge and stripped herself, turning to Taron. She was hit in the face by his kiss as he grabbed her and pulled her to him. Softening the kiss as their bodies touched, he moved into her. His vacant hand ran up her neck and into her new hair. His breath hitched as he felt the short section at the back and had to reach higher to find something to tug gently. Making Eryn gasp lightly, “Gently” she whispered “Sorry babe, it’s just you look so incredible and it’s been so long” he admitted as Eryn answered him with a kiss of her own. Her tongue took no time to find his and her hunger for him took over. Her lips devoured his and they moaned involuntarily. Eryn whimpered as Taron ran his hand over her breasts and his head dropped. Licking and sucking her nipples as she arched her back and her head fell back.  
He trailed her body with kisses, when he reached her scar, he lightly kissed it. Before delving between her legs. His tongue went to work on her clit as her body stretched and bucked against him, his fingers slipping inside. She closed her legs on his hand and ground her hips. “Wincing slightly as he hit a painful spot. She was shaking her head and gesturing not to stop, even before he could look at her to ask. Uncertain of going all the way yet, he moved up to face her. Searching her face for an answer.   
“I don’t want to hurt you” he breathed “I won’t let you” she told him. He kissed her neck placing his hands firmly on her waist, she lifted her hips as he gently entered her. God, he felt good, her eyes full of love for him, he began to gently move as she bit her lip. He increased his pace his eyes firmly on hers, it was intense and unlike any sex either had had before. Focussed on each other so intently, Taron thrust deeply into her, sending her nerves crazy it wasn’t long before Taron was spilling into her, his orgasm hitting him hard and fast. Eryn felt hers slip away, suddenly worried she did what girls do when they want so badly to see the smile on a partner’s face. She groaned and arched her back remembering the way he made her feel when she came, she gave out with her sounds and shuddered as she usually did.  
Pulling out, Taron dropped back on the bed and Eryn moved to lay in her spot on his shoulder, burying her head in his neck she kissed it. “I love you baby” He breathed “I love you too T” She answered, already she felt guilty, should she tell him. The smile of bliss on his face told her not to and running her hand through his chest hair she tried to tell herself it was a one off.

=====  
Taron checked the calendar, “Babe have you got everything set for your book launch?” he called “You know we fly out two days after? And I have the whole four weeks chock a block before” He continued to talk as he walked into the lounge, Eryn was mid pose following a yoga show on TV. Grinning cheekily, he raised his eyebrows at her. “Stop Ogling me” she chided playfully “Yes, it’s all done, hair and make-up booked, my outfit it all set and Tracey is dealing with yours, oh and You have a new assistant for the international tour apparently, a Joanna George. She rang to introduce herself” Eryn finished her routine and turned off the Tv, rolling up her mat.   
She was pulled into a kiss, when she tried to pass Taron. “ I think YOU ought to be my assistant” he said “Then I could kiss you whenever I wanted, because you would have to do anything I say” he wiggled his eyebrows cheekily as Eryn pulled free. “Do you sleep with all your assistants?” she asked teasingly over her shoulder as she headed to shower. Taron loved the way her new hair revealed her neck perfectly and he found himself imagining kissing it. “The cheek of it, what a question” he replied shaking himself. “He had 10 minutes before he had to get the car to today’s meeting at United” he grabbed his bag and jacket, felt his pockets for his wallet, phone and flags.  
When he entered the bedroom, Eryn was already in the shower. He poked his head around the door. “I’ll let you know when I’m leaving” he called over the water. Eryn blew him a kiss and he had to press his erection down as he called goodbye. Taron now gone Eryn ran her hand down her body, finding her clit she began to attempt to find her orgasm. After the previous night’s events, she had wondered if it were something to do with her and the changes to her body. She now decided to become reacquainted with herself and how to pleasure herself. Again, she nearly hit that high spot, only to plateaux and frustratingly lose it.   
Taron arrived home at 1am, having been taken for drinks after his meeting. He wasn’t drunk but happily tipsy and as he came into the bedroom. He smiled when he saw Eryn laid on top of the covers, the fan blowing gently. She was wearing summery pyjama shorts and a small camisole bralette. Her long beautifully tanned legs were bent as she lay across the expanse of the bed. He mobile phone had slipped out of her hand when she dropped into sleep it seemed. Taron picked up the phone and put it on the bedside table.  
Her laptop too was left open on the bed and Taron, checked to see if it had work to be saved. His attention was distracted by what he realised was pornography. He was surprised and a little confused. Looking at Eryn and back to the laptop. He shut the laptop and laid it on the floor. He moved Eryn over slightly, sitting on the edge he pulled off his clothes and left them in a pile on the floor. He stroked Eryn’s cheek and kissed her lightly “Night my sweet” he whispered. Laughing to himself he muttered “You’re one dark horse Miss Eryn Riley”


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38  
Eryn woke in the night; her head was still all over the place. She kept dreaming of being pregnancy only for the bump to turn into something else. Once it was feathers, tonight ribbons, one-night snakes. She was glad that tonight it was something less scary. She looked over at Taron, Sleeping soundly. He was exhausted having landed in bad 2am having been up since 6am, that morning and she knew again he would be up at 6 tomorrow. She emptied her bladder and settled back in bed. Laying on her side, she twirled his finger through the curls, growing on top. He had been made to grow his hair for the part and she enjoyed the longer length.  
Her mind wandered, she recognised the pictures and felt the tightness in her chest. She couldn’t let them free. Images of Taron holding their child, growing and playing with him or her. She instinctively held her stomach as the feelings of emptiness returned and she felt herself release tears, she swallowed them back. Resting her head on the pillow. She gazed at him, mesmerised by how far she had come. She felt the flashback as it hit, not knowing if it had been because she allowed thoughts that already saddened her in, but her chest felt as though she must explode soon. She was powerless ad her breath refused to leave her. Her body shook violently as her eyes disassociated. He was there.  
His eyes baring down, as the pillow lowered. Blocking the light and air from her. The sound of his grunts and her head hit the wall again and again. Her teeth tight closed in her jaw, she felt swallowed up. Nothing to see, nothing to do. Cold steel pressing her private places, wet and cold. Hands holding hers by her side, she smelt him a sweaty mix of lynx Africa and whiskey. The bracken beneath her poked into her skin, but it was a lesser pain that the one inside. Finally, the pillow removed, and she begged not to see, but she saw him. Laughing and cold behind his eyes, she gasped suddenly inhaling, over and over.  
The light blinded her, it was enough to break into the scene and return her. She was staring ahead. The room coming slowly into focus, she made out Taron’s silhouette. As if in a trance, Taron begged her to hear him. This was nothing like the panic attacks and flashbacks he’d seen her have before. She wasn’t curled up shaking, frightened. She was gone. Her face blank and unblinking. He had tried sitting behind her, but it failed him. He was terrified now; it had always worked. He saw a movement and kneeling in front of her on the bed, he held her face in his hands. Pleading for her to come back to him. “Eryn?” he asked desperation clear in his tone. His eye moving from one of her eyes to the other.  
“Oh baby, please. It’s okay” he continued When finally, he saw a glimpse of recognition. Pressing his forehead against hers. His shoulders shook as he began to release the scared sobs, he had been holding in. He held her to him tightly. Still semi-conscious, Eryn focussed all she had on the feel of him, breathing his scent in deeply and calmly. She whimpered slightly as her breath came down to a softer and safer rhythm. He kissed her forehead, begging her to wipe th spot and call the granny kisses. She looked at his blood shot eyes and understood what had happened. Taron took her hand “Baby say something, I need to hear you voice” Taron asked “I’m ok, Taron I’m sorry I scared ... woke you” she mumbled barely coherent.  
“Damn Eryn, hell yes you woke me, Fuck” he said exasperated Pulling her to him again, having separated some to talk “Taron I don’t know, what happened?” she asked nervously, stuttering. Taron looked at her face, she was as scared as him and he knew that how it looked from his perspective was terrifying, experiencing must had been a lot worse. “I don’t know sweetheart, I was going to ask you, but you’re okay now” he tried to reassure her. The couple lay back on the pillows but remained in each other’s arms. Silent as they both considered and tried to comprehend the last few minutes.  
Shaking her head, Eryn got out of the bed and walked into the kitchen, turning on the kettle she began to make tea. Taron followed her, turning off the bedroom light and grabbing his dressing gown, he put it on. He stood leaning against the door frame and watched Eryn. She turned, seeing him, she turned and added milk to the two mugs and handed one to Taron. She walked over to the sofa, pulling the blanket around her, she pulled her knees to her chest and sipped her tea. Taron walked over and put his tea on the coffee table, sitting next to it, in front of Eryn.  
“Tell me what happened Eryn, what do you remember?” he asked. She recounted the dream, waking up and  
“Tell me what happened Eryn, what do you remember?” he asked. She recounted the dream, waking up and admitted to thinking about him as a father, making him smile sadly. When she finished explaining it. He moved forward, placing his hands on her knees. He explained how he had tried to calm her and it hadn’t worked “ I had no idea, I guess I was consumed in it all Taron, I just didn’t know you were there, I couldn’t feel you” her voice shook as she spoke. Taron squeezed her knees “I was there baby; I was with you all the time” he tried to reassure her. She nodded finishing her tea and placing the cup next to Taron she moved to him and pulled him to her, hugging him.  
He rocked gently, “I’m sorry I didn’t know” she whispered “It’s ok” he replied gently as he held her tight. “How are you now” he asked as she moved back to sitting on the edge of the sofa. “I’m scared Taron, what if it happens again, I’m scared of dreaming, I’m scared to sleep I…” she began to panic. “Woah baby, baby ok” he said rubbing her back as her pulled her back into the hug. “Stop sweetheart you’re going to get into a state again”, She knew he was right.  
Her eyes glanced and caught sight on the clock “Shit Taron, look at the time, you need to sleep” she groaned. “You think I can sleep leaving you like this” he said incredulous. “She dropped her head guiltily; he had been sleeping so soundly. He moved to the sofa and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. “When’s your next EDMR session? I think you need to mention this.” He said. “Wednesday” she murmured and nodded. “Eryn what came first, the baby stuff or him, tonight I mean?” he asked thinking “ Well the dream, I guess had me thinking about it” she told him wondering where he was going with the question “ Then, maybe it was that that kicked it all off, if we maybe talked about it, did something about it” he trailed off.  
“I don’t know” he shook his head, “I don’t know how to help you Eryn, I hate it so much” he added. His head in his hands. Eryn stroked his neck “What you said makes sense, what were you thinking?” he said softly surprised her turned to her “ We could see what our options are at least, maybe it would help us take the focus off what we have lost and… God I don’t mean forget or anything” he was so tired and trying so hard. Eryn felt awful for him and to see him struggling. “Taron you can’t fix everything, you don’t have to be responsible for fixing it all” she said “It makes sense to find out, we can do that” Eryn added.  
“Taron” she said firmly making him look at her. “You want to make it all ok, I know you do” he looked at her expression, she knew him so well. Knew the turmoil inside him and the anger and frustration he couldn’t prevent building up, when all he wanted to do was click his fingers and fix everything. But he knew that she was right, and he needed to stop, he was never going to have power or control like that, and neither should he. He thought in that moment that maybe that was what made Phil ‘Phil’. Just thinking about that had him determined to rid himself of the guilt and responsibility for things he couldn’t control. He coughed.  
Taking Eryn by the hand he led her back to the bedroom. He plumped the pillows up and lit some of the candles. Setting some light chill music on, He smiled “Come on, let’s get snuggly and see what happens, ok” She looked at him and climbed into bed. Looking at the pillow, she paused “He tried to suffocate me” she murmured, holding the pillow in her hands without realising it, she re-enacted the motions of it. Taron watched in horror, “In the thing, whatever it was, I saw the pillow it came down on my face and…” Taron took the pillow from her and laid it on the bed. “Not one of these will ever go near your face, ok and you can lay on me, I’ll be your pillow ok?” he said.  
She pushed him back and laid her head on his chest “You make the best pillow anyway” she said softly, “Hairy pillow” he chuckled lightly as she twirled her fingers in the hair on his chest and down his stomach. “Nothing wrong with that” She smiled back. “Go to sleep Taron” she breathed as she felt him exhale heavily for the third time and yawn. “I’ve got to be up in an hour, it’d not worth it” he said closing his eyes. The warmth of the room and soft candlelight soon had Eryn sleeping too.  
Once she was deeply sleeping, Taron sent a text to his director. Apologising for himself, he claimed sickness and was given two/three days off. He needed sleep for sure, but he needed to be sure that he was around until they figured out what had gone on tonight. He couldn’t imagine what might have happened had, she not come out of the trance. He made a mental note to research the symptoms when he woke, as his eyes closed, and he finally drifted off.  
When she woke, it was late morning and she jumped seeing Taron still in bed. “Fuck Taron, your late like really late” she shouted waking him. He groaned and making out her fuzzy face, rubbed his eyes. “I called in, I have three days off” he rolled over and buried his head into the pillow. “Taron? Why did you do that? You never do that?” Eryn asked, “So I’m awake now then, ok” he sighed sitting up a little more “I wanted to” “Keep an eye on me?” Eryn asked her eyes shot a warning look his way, that said she wasn’t impressed “Baby, not like that please I’m not trying to …” it was no good. Eryn had stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door.  
He walked over, “Baby please come back to bed, I just didn’t want you to be alone if what happened last night happened again, that’s all” he said through the door. It opened and a meeker Eryn came out. “Ok” she said softly “Sorry” he pulled her in for a hug and kissed her. “Come on, come back to bed” he smiled cheekily. Looking at him, she felt that guilt returning. She had tried everything to relieve herself of he lost climax, and nothing had worked, not pornography, not private rubs and gels, she’d bought online, even a vibrator had left her frustrated. She looked at her fiancé and wished he’d gone to work.  
It was just another thing to stress over and it was the last thing she needed right now. She kissed him lightly and let him lead her back to bed. “Baby I’m a little sore right now” she lied feeling terrible. She felt even worse when he nodded and tapped his chest for her to cuddle into him instead. “God, he had to be understanding” she thought. Her head began to bang, and she felt the familiar feeling of a migraine beginning. She only had two days until her book launch. Her head felt as though it would explode.  
By the time lunchtime came around, Eryn’s migraine was at full tilt. She felt sick and had made Taron shut all the curtains, every movement, sound or smell was excruciating. Taron had laid a cold flannel on her forehead and she wore a cooling eye mask, but the drilling pain in the bones of her eye socket and temple was appalling. Taron ate alone in his office as he finalised plans for the international press junkets. It was a quick turnaround for some, and he hoped it wouldn’t be too much for Eryn. While he was in the office, he scrolled through information about trauma and its effects. Considering the last few months. It was hardly surprising that Eryn wasn’t a complete wreck he thought.  
He knew that she felt the EDMR was working and helping, but it was a slow process. Reading about flashback and panic attacks. Taron realised that he had extraordinarily little understanding of the issue. He was horrified by the experiences of some trauma survivors and realised that the episode Eryn had had was just the tip of a larger, much scarier iceberg. He was able to come away with some ideas to help her should it happen again. He also found it interesting to read about the need to work on reducing day to day stress.  
As he read, he thought about the migraine, Eryn was currently dealing with. It was something she had had a few times, since they’d been together. But reading the material he was now aware it was a response to stress. He wondered whether Eryn was telling him everything she was thinking and feeling. He couldn’t help thinking about the way she had been that morning when he tried to instigate sex. He thought she had recoiled from him but shook it off at the time. He went to his search engine and was about to type in something about infertility, when the search engine auto finished with the recent searches.  
His face dropped as he read the list of searches, ‘Orgasm help’ ‘Lost my orgasm’ ‘How to enjoy sex after hysterectomy’. He pushed the chair away from the desk. Looking to the floor. He looked again at the laptop. Clicking on the history, he was gutted to read the websites that had been hit. Various porn sites, that he hadn’t visited, online sex shops, medical pages about hysterectomies and sex, it went on and on. “Jesus” he groaned. He picked up the laptop and walked out of the office. He put the laptop on the kitchen side and paced. He couldn’t confront her now, not while she was in the state, she was in. He was angry and frustrated; he didn’t know why, and he knew it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about angry.  
Grabbing the laptop, he deleted the history and shut it down. Going up to the roof, he took off his clothes and jumped into the pool. His face fixed and angry, he took his frustration out in the water, pounding out length after length in the cool water as he thought about everything that had hit him emotionally in the last few weeks. As he did, he pressed on, working the emotion out. He finally came to a stop, panting heavily he rested at the edge of the infinity pool and looked out over the city. “Fuck !!!!!!” he screamed at the top his voice into the distance.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39  
Taron returned exhausted from the final shoot, the first thing he noticed when he arrived was the music blaring from the flat. He opened the door to darkness. A trail of candles led to the roof stairs. Smiling slightly, he dropped his bag and kicked off his shoes. Following the candles. He reached the roof, to see Eryn stood with a bottle of beer in her hand, a mischievous smile on her face. Classic 80’s love songs rang out of the speakers. As she handed Taron the bottle and kissed him. “Shit did I forget an anniversary or something?” He panicked. Eryn rolled her eyes and shook her head “Like you would” she smiled. Leaving her arms around his neck. “So, what is all this?” he said looking at her outfit, he saw she was wearing his favourite dress, a blue summer number that stopped just above the knee. His hand went to her backside as they spoke.  
Making her roll her eyes again and move it to her waist. “My turn to surprise and pamper you” she said gesturing to the sushi platter laid out on the bar. “Oooh yes” he said walking over and shoving a salmon roll into his mouth, he moved in time with the music as Eryn laughed. He sipped his beer and felt himself relax. Dancing over to Eryn he pulled her close and she joined in singing along. “I heard you the other night” she whispered in his ear. He moved away a little looking confused “When you were… ahem… swimming” she added.  
“Oh that” he said slugging his beer, thought coming to him that he was hoping to forget. “Baby, you can talk to me, you know it doesn’t always have to be the other way round” Eryn said as she saw his body stiffen again. “I know” he said finishing the bottle and picking up another. “Slow down T” she said feeling the tension growing. “I need a piss” he said heading inside. Eryn sighed ‘You and your big mouth’ she thought. Sitting on the sofa, she sipped her own bottle and looked out over the skyline.  
When he returned, Taron looked sheepish. He sat next to Eryn and rested his hand on her knee. “Sorry” he muttered “Baby, I’m just worried about you” Eryn said softly, resting her head on his shoulder. Taron moved his arm around her waist and pulled her toward him “I know”. They sat in silence, occasionally sipping their drinks. “I saw your internet history” Taron said abruptly. “What you were looking at, I…” he broke off. Eryn closed her eyes embarrassed and ashamed that Taron had found her out. “If there was something wrong, I thought you could tell me” he said sadly. “Its embarrassing T” she said “Ok” he said understanding. “But if things aren’t… good, I want to know, I mean how long?” She began drawing doodles on his leg “Only since the operation” she admitted.  
“I’m confused, so have you? Been pretending?” he said as his brain worked it out, “Eryn have you been faking it?” he said turning to her. He didn’t need an answer her whole demeanour answered for her. “why” he breathed “I didn’t want you to feel bad, I don’t know” she whimpered, the shame and embarrassment felt overpowering and she desperately wanted to run away. “Is it me?” he asked after some moments of thought. Eryn was quick and turned to him “That, right there that is why women fake it, why I?” she said “That face, what you are feeling right now, I didn’t want any of this” she said frustrated “No Taron, It’s me, my body is fucked up” she huffed.  
Taron pulled her back to him, she had begun to move further away as they continued to speak. “Your bodies been through a lot, it’s different, not fucked up” he said “Eryn I wish you had told me, I know you were trying to spare my feelings, but I don’t want you to pretend to enjoy it” he said firmly. For the first time, she looked at him and he at her. “Sorry” she mouthed, and he nodded. “I guess we now get an excuse to experiment” he said cheekily, breaking the tension. She laughed “What do you have in mind?” she asked “Hmmm depends what have you tried already” he grinned.  
\-----------------------------------  
Laid in bed that night, Taron was glad they had cleared the air. But it still troubled him that, yet another obstacle appeared to threaten their happiness. He stared at the ceiling as Eryn slept. Pride for his fiancé enveloped him. She had already been through so much and yet she was always thinking of him, setting up tonight’s treat and despite it not being what he’d wanted, she had been prepared to do so much to avoid him feeling bad. He smiled when she turned toward him, her new pink hair revealing her neck to him. He fought the urge to move in and kiss the spot. Not wanting to wake her, knowing how hard sleep was for her to achieve.  
He wriggled nearer and laid his arm over her stomach, thinking about children. Grinning at images of Eryn with a baby in her arms and his pride over his family. He sighed heavily, knowing that he had to change the way he saw it happening. He knew he would never get to rest his hand on her belly, rounded with his child growing inside. It made him feel sad, not only for himself. He knew that Eryn would look amazing pregnant and was gutted that she’d never realise that experience. His hand flattened on her stomach and he closed his eyes.  
Waking early, with a week before the International Junket. Taron sat at his PC scrolling through the options. He was determined he would find a way to make their dreams of a family come to life. He sipped his tea, his glasses on his nose as he focussed on the screen. He didn’t hear Eryn enter. She bent down and pushed his glasses back onto his face. Smiling she looked at the screen, “so what is all this?” she asked reading the page. “Taron that’s a bit full on” she said as he turned to her. “I’m just looking at all there is, that’s one option that’s all” she smiled and swallowed slightly. “Are we going to talk about this need to fix everything T?” she asked solemnly. He spun back to the PC “Nope” he answered.  
Eryn groaned, not in the mood for an argument. She left him to his research, it was EDMR day and she needed to get ready. As she showered, she thought about the page she had read. The idea was still experimental and early days in its application. But as she thought about how the same could be said about the EDMR and how much is was helping, she began to wonder if it was worth looking into. She climbed out and dressed ready to go. When she was met by Taron, with his keys in hand. “I thought I was come along today, if that’s ok” he said brightly. Taron had been working when the sessions had been happening, but he too had seen Eryn returning from sessions looking lighter and full of praise for the changes she could tell were already happening.  
She had succeeded is removed a number of minor flashbacks completely and deal with others better. She had mentioned the incident that scared the pair and was told that occasionally EDMR could cause smaller flashbacks to merge together and create a combination attack. This certainly explained what had happened, she was given some anti-anxiety medication to take and so far, no more attacks had shown up.  
Arriving in the small building, Taron was amazed. He had expected a doctor’s office of some kind. But inside the building, was a large garden with bamboo huts and yoga mats in one room. The pair were led to the treatment room. This consisted of a large bunch of pillows and beanbags in the centre which Eryn made herself comfortable on, as Taron found a spot around the edge. He was told to avoid touching her whilst the therapist did her work. He watched intently as the therapist got to work. It seemed so unlikely that such a technique could have any effect at all, let alone the depth of help Eryn spoke of. Yet he saw her body responding and was aware of the fact she was responding unconsciously.  
He himself couldn’t help feeling his stress lift in the atmosphere and enjoyed the calming affect it had on him. As the session ended and Eryn got up, she seemed to be shining. He was overcome for minute as she chatted to her therapist. Swallowing his emotion’s, he got up and took her hand. They walked out of the building “let’s go for a walk” Taron suggested Eryn looked at him suspiciously but agreed.  
Making their way across Hyde park, holding hands Eryn stopped “Okay Welsh Boi spill “What’s this about, you never walk with me anywhere?” He pulled her to him “Okay, well I wanted to spend time with you, I wanted to talk” he said quietly “You’re right I do want to fix everything” he said slowly as Eryn continued to walk with him. Listening carefully as he spoke. He let all his thoughts and worries tumble from his head. Eryn squeezed his hand when she felt he needed to know she was with what he was saying.  
They reached home and still Taron continued as they settled on the sofa. Eryn stroked his face as he let it drop on to her shoulder. He closed his eyes. “I love you so much Eryn” he mumbled in her. She held him tightly. “I love you Taron, there are just no words” He lifted his head and smiled lightly. Moving forward he kissed her firmly. She smiled into the kiss and pressed herself closer as they deepened their kiss. Suddenly Taron scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom, giggling as he dropped her on the bed and began to kiss her neck, tickling her. He moved across and kissed her lips again.  
Running her hands down she removed his trousers and boxers, as she wriggled her dress off. Once naked they stopped. “I won’t pretend anymore I promise” Eryn said softly as Taron’s eyes seemed to pull her in. He kissed her in reply and whispered into her “I am going to make love you and whatever happens, happens ok” she nodded.  



	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40  
It was a rush and panic to get to Heathrow, Taron as usual was running late. Having to go back twice for a charger and then his phone. United had laid on a car so Eryn sat impatiently in the back waiting. “Sorry” Taron puffed climbing in the back with her. He looked at her stern face “What?” he said smiling. She shook her head but smiled back. As the car made its way to the airport, Taron filled Eryn in with what to expect. “Taron I’ve already spoken to Lyndsey and I have your schedule in my phone” she said. “Well aren’t you organised” he quipped sarcastically. Receiving a slight slap from Eryn. He kissed her on the cheek her face breaking into a grin.   
“I’ve never flown Business class” she said, “yeah, it loses its fun when you have to do it over and over” Taron groaned a little. “But I have you too keep me company” he said mischievously. He was certainly in that sort of mood today. Eryn was glad to see the light was back in him and he seemed to be less stressed. He held her hand as the made light conversation.   
Eryn looked out of the window onto the tarmac, she loved flying. It was like magic; she had loved to go to the airport as a child and just watch the aeroplanes. She was like a giddy child and it didn’t go unnoticed. Taron ordered drinks for the pair and pulled out his headphones. “Oi welsh boi, don’t be anti-social” Eryn said pulling the headphones from his hands. As he pouted. “I have another set and a divider” he grinned plugging the divider and second set of earphones into his phone. Eryn caved and passed over the first set. She placed the earphones in and listened to the music Taron had set for the flight. She smiled when ‘Saturday night’ by Sam Cooke came on and Taron hummed along. He rested his hand on Eryn’s back as she watched the plane taking off. The earphones helped the ear popping and she settled back into her seat for the 22hr flight to Singapore.  
The booth they sat in was a double making it easier for the couple to be close and soon, Eryn was laying tucked under Taron’s arm as he read, and she dozed sleepily. Having now had their meals the cabin was darkened, and seats flattened. Taron made sure the little pod was cosy, while Eryn went to the bathroom, she came back in her pyjamas and dressing gown, making him smile. He had deliberately worn lounge pants and a loose top, to sleep comfortably. But Eryn had decided to change. Taron let her in first, insisting he take the aisle. Once the stewardess checked they had all they needed, she left the couple to it.  
“Hey, want to join the mile-high club?” Taron teased. “Go on then” Eryn answered, making Taron wide eyed calling his bluff. “Well Riley, you are a naughty one” he said kissing her firmly. His hands wandering to her elastic waist band, he pinged it slightly. Raising an eyebrow. Her hand joining the game ran under his trousers and held him tightly. He groaned into her shoulder “Ok you win” he gasped. Smiling at her, thinking she would stop. He looked around as she continued to run her hand the length of him, his breath increasing “Babe, omg Eryn” he mumbled as he buried his head into the side of her breast. She soon felt the sticky liquid as he shuddered into her. Panting heavily.  
He lifted his head and looked at her in shock, “planes turn me on” she shrugged dropping her head and smashing her lips into his. Her tongue pressing and wrapping around his, this was an Eryn he’d seen little of and was enjoying being the one dominated. As she pressed herself against him, his hand slipped beneath her pyjamas and between her legs. Her own hand grabbed his stopping him momentarily. She held his hand firm, guiding him and taking control of his hand. He opened his fingers as she pressed them into her and against her G Spot.  
Acutely aware of their surroundings and the thrill of being caught heightening the moment. Taron allowed Eryn to move his hand as she began to moan, she took his spare hand and placed it over her mouth. Muffling her groans as she pressed him deeper and in faster thrusts, she could feel the familiar beginnings of her climax and focusing all her efforts on Taron’s face, she felt it. It hit her hard and fast. Arching her back as finally her body shuddered. She collapsed grinning and laughing as she let his hand go.  
Taron looked at her incredulous, “Was that?” he smiled. She pulled him into another passionate kiss “Yes” she breathed “Yes it was” she smiled. Looking around her guiltily she curled up into him as if nothing naughty had been happening. He stroked her back. “Well Well well” he said “I don’t know what to say” he laughed. “Taron Egerton lost for words. Surely not” she giggled. “So, aeroplanes?” he asked ominously “Really??” he nodded “I will have to remember that” he continued to grin. As he held her tight, relaxing into her.   
She lent down and unzipped her bag, pulling out a packet of wipes she took a couple and passed the packet to Taron, to clean himself up. Settling back together, he hummed happily. “So, do you think we found your orgasm now? Or do we need to keep experimenting?” he asked “Definitely keep experimenting” she giggled cheekily.   
Arriving in Singapore, the couple were exhausted. Despite sleeping much of the time, it wasn’t the same as sleeping in a bed and they were desperate for a shower and some decent food, before crashing out. Work started in full force tomorrow at 6am. The car was waiting thankfully, and Taron pushed their trolley to the driver, who took over. As they came out into arrivals a group of 10 or 12 young women suddenly ran up to Taron, clearly fans. They snapped picture after picture and thrust books and pictures at him, chattering in a variety of languages Eryn and she was sure Taron couldn’t understand.   
Eryn felt awkward and dropped to stand by the driver who smiled and nodded. Watching Taron posing for photos and smiling, Eryn was amazed at the energy he had found from somewhere. He looked as gorgeous as ever and was kind and polite to everyone. She found herself beaming with pride at him. The crowd groaned as he said he had to go and pulled away from them. He smiled at Eryn mouthing ‘Sorry’ to her. She shook her head “Babe this is why you’re here dummy” she whispered.   
When they got to the hotel, they were met with the same madness, girls were crying and shaking as they spoke with him, or if he smiled their way. She found herself overcome with the crowd’s excitement and slipped into the hotel lobby to escape. Taking a breath, she was met by the front desk attendant and the bags were taken up to their suite. As Taron Finally broke through into the hotel, he looked shattered. He looked at Eryn concerned “You ok” he asked “Yeah of course, that was just a bit full on” she said.  
She was getting a glimpse already of how weird this world Taron lived in sometimes, was. Her thoughts were interrupted as they were taken to the suite. And my god, it was one hell of a suite. They were only here for three days and four nights, but the place was amazing. Almost an apartment, with a huge bed and sunken bath. Something Eryn started running immediately. “Taron this is nuts” she called from the bathroom as he came and leant on the doorframe. “Now you know” he sighed looking at Eryn bending over the bath, pouring a delicious smelling oil into the water. “Now you can stop with that look, welsh boi” she said not looking up.   
He walked over and putting his hands on her hips, moved himself against her backside slowly “We need to finish what you started on the plane” he said kissing little pecks down her neck. “Oh, do we?” she said turning and loosely letting her arms hang around his neck. “yes, we do” he said kissing her gently, pulling her top lip with his as he swayed her slightly. “Maybe later T, I’m so tired and starving” she admitted. He groaned but agreed. He wandered off to look for a room service menu as she pulled of her clothes and sank into the bath, groaning in pleasure.  
“Oi don’t you start without me” Taron called from the other room, hearing her audible groans. She dropped under the water and felt her body relax its stiffness from the flight. When she came back up, Taron was already naked and climbing in the other end of the enormous bath. He handed Eryn the menu as he dropped under the water too, “oh god yes” he moaned. Making Eryn laugh. Taron splashed a little water at her playfully. As she chose from the menu she flicked it across the room and took Taron’s foot from the water, massaging the base, he lay back and closed his eyes “ Oh yes, that’s good” he groaned again as she dug neatly into the tissue and released the tension.   
“You are too good to me” he sighed, the water dribbling down his neck. As she dropped the foot she was holding and took the other beginning the same action.  



	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41  
Eryn didn’t want to wake up when the alarm call came in at 5am. She groaned and rolled over to Taron. The bed was incredibly comfortable and luxurious, she ruffled Taron’s hair “Come on Welsh boi, it’s time to schmooze the press” she called into his ear. He wafted his hand at her “Taron sleep” he grumbled. Making Eryn chuckle as she pulled the duvet off him. “Taron Schmooze” she said elongating the ‘ooh’ so her lips pouted, and she kissed his cheek, pecking kisses anywhere on his face she could attack. Grabbing her by the waist he tickled her as she tried to get free “Do you yield, do you yield?” he puffed as Eryn managed to break free.  
“No chance Welsh boi” now get gorgeous for the cameras while I order some breakfast. He groaned and rolled off the bed. “This ain’t over” he warned cheekily and headed into the shower. Eryn called in the order and as Taron dried off, she climbed in the shower herself. Loving the expansive shower room with its numerous jets. She almost didn’t want to leave but heard voices and feeling her stomach grumble she pulled on a robe and wandered into the main area. Stopping in her tracks as she was met by a group of people, dressed in their professional best. Darting back to the bedroom, blushing like mad.  
She dressed in a smart navy jumpsuit and comfy pumps. As Taron came into the bedroom “Are you ok, sorry I should have given you a heads up” he said sheepish “Well yeah, Jesus I could have been naked” she grimaced Taron laughed at the idea. “Yeah sorry” he looked at her outfit and smiled “Looking genuinely nice, by the way” he said pulling her in for a kiss. “So, where those people” she asked. “Err … professional assistants representing the companies hosting the junket, my stylist with today’s set of clothing, translator to enable me to understand the other two and breakfast. Come on let’s eat then I have to change, and we need to get moving” he said taking her hand, he pulled her into the lounge area.  
The car arrived two large guys appeared and shook hands with Taron and Eryn, these were the security detail for the length of the trip. They explained that a number of fans were already outside and as they made their way out of the large group pressed in on the two of them, crushing Eryn. Soon she was cajoled and pushed back and to the outside of the crowd. Panting hard and overwhelmed she looked to Taron. He was grinning and posing for selfies with members of the crowd. She stood catching her breath as she watched him making silly faces and nodding. The two security guys watching every movement.  
“Are you Miss Riley?” a smartly dressed man asked, Eryn realised it was the driver as he wore a chauffeur hat. She nodded and he smiled politely “Would you prefer to wait in the car?” he asked, and Eryn was soon following him and climbing into the safety of the back seat. The noise of the crowd grew louder as the door opened and Taron practically fell into the car, beaming and laughing. He turned to Eryn smiling, but was unsure when he saw her face was not the picture of happiness he expected. “what’s up?” he asked shaking her head, Eryn smiled, “That was a bit crazy” she said not wanting to seem unable to cope already with the nature of his work. He chuckled running his hand through his hair “Yeah, it can be a bit nuts, you kind of get used to it” he coughed. Clearly, he got a kick out of it, but Eryn wasn’t so sure she would. The crowd had been fairly polite but just over eager she told herself.  
Arriving at the conference hall the door was opened, and Taron climbed out turning to Eryn he took her hand and squeezed it. “So that you won’t get separated from me again” he whispered. It had hit him as they travelled to the venue, that he’d been so caught up with the demand for his attention, that he hadn’t noticed Eryn had disappeared and he had no idea that she had got into the car. He felt awful, being unused to having someone with him he had fallen into autopilot. He had forgotten she was there, and he felt guilty.  
Taron was met by another rabid crowd but thankfully this time they were held back by the metal crowd barrier. They were taken through a bunch of corridors and into a room, with posters and a backdrop showing the film Taron was promoting. A chair was set in front and another facing it, with film cameras and lights directed at the single chair. It looked intimidating and reminded Eryn of a torture scene, where information was going to be extracted from the subject. Taron let go of Eryn’s hand and walked over to someone he recognised. Lyndsay smiled and the two hugged as the chatted.  
Seeing Eryn, Lyndsay walked quickly over and smiling pulled her into a hug. “How are you managing Eryn, overwhelmed yet?” she asked being aware of how out of the norm this must be. Eryn nodded and smiled back, “It’s surreal for sure” she admitted watching how easily Taron fit in with those milling around. This was a learning curve alright. Lyndsay set Eryn up with a chair in the corner, to the side of the room. As a make-up artist set about making Taron up for the camera, she watched intrigued as they set up for the first interview. The cameras, lighting and all the work that went into what ended up being a maybe 2-minute slot of film.  
As the morning wore on though, Eryn turned to her phone to keep her occupied as interviewer after interviewer asked the same inane questions, some making jokes that Taron laughed along with convincingly, despite being clearly not funny. She was impressed that he seemed to be able to engage and have the energy to repeat the same facts about the film as if he were saying them for the first time, when in reality it was the 11th or 12th. Soon she had exhausted her phone’s entertainment and was hoping the break for lunch would come soon.  
To her despair, Lyndsay bent down next to her and explained that she was going out to collect lunch and asked what she would like. Not knowing anything about Singapore or it’s culinary choices, she asked for a basic club sandwich and water. Eryn watched Lyndsay take an order from Taron and disappear. Eryn was beyond bored by the time she returned, and she began eating. Taron pulled a chair up next to Eryn and squeezed her knee “You ok” he grinned biting into his food and swallowing quickly “Chew it babe, Jesus you’ll choke” you laughed “I only have 20 minutes before the next lot” he said, shoving another mouthful in.  
Eryn smiled, but she was beginning to feel like a spare part and had been at least looking forward to eating lunch with him. This was not what she thought of as lunch. As if reading her mind Taron kissed her cheek “It’s not always as hectic as this babe” he said dropping crumbs on the floor as he rushed his food down. But she could see he was running on adrenaline and sparking of the attention. He looked great in his stylists chosen outfit and the make-up he’d been given accentuated his eyes and they Shon. “You’re so good baby” she told him as he got up to return to the job at hand. He blew her a kiss. But she groaned inwardly at the idea of more hours of the bum numbing boredom.  
As the afternoon seemed to drone on, Eryn finally had enough and snuck out to get some fresh air and stretch her legs. She walked out of the conference centre and over to the car. Before she was aware of herself, she got in the car and asked to be taken back to the hotel. Falling onto the bed in the suite, she breathed heavily. She felt awful for ditching Taron, but if she heard one more time about the damn movie, she would scream. She quickly tapped out a text <<<<<< Sorry babe, headache had to go back to the hotel to sleep it off >>>>>>  
It wasn’t exactly a lie as the junket had made her head hurt. It didn’t take long before she fell asleep. When she woke it was dark and still the room was silent. Reaching over to her phone she picked it up, expecting something in reply from Taron. But there was nothing but a text from Henny asking how the trip was going. She pouted, looking out at the view of the Singapore skyline. She realised that for the first time in a long time she was lonely.  
Even when Taron had been away working, she hadn’t felt as bad as this. What on earth was wrong with her? She thought, why was she feeling so miserable? She grumped her face into the sheets, sulking. She wanted to snuggle into Taron more than anything right now, instead she turned the huge TV on and scrolled through the channels. When she was unable to find a single channel in English, she gave up. As she was about to switch off, he caught her eye. There he was dressed up in a smart suit on a talk show, chatting animatedly to the host.  
Watching him with the sound off, she smiled sadly. Hugging the pillow beneath her, she pouted. Seemed the world got to have him today, she’d have to wait.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42  
When Eryn woke, Taron was asleep beside her. It was the middle of the night and Eryn was sad that Taron hadn’t woke her when he’d got back. But watching him sleep, she saw he hadn’t undressed properly and must have simply crashed out with exhaustion. She positioned herself so her face was directly in front of his, watching him sleep, she stroked his fringe softly trying her best not to wake him. He looked so peaceful and she found herself loving him even more than she thought she could. Lonely or not the man in front of her was working so hard for what he was passionate about and she smiled. He really was a beautiful man.  
Closing her eyes, she snuggled into him and his arm instinctively pulled her nearer as he mumbled in his sleep. It was then a text came through  
<<<<< Guess who?>>>>  
it read and chuckling she tried to think of a witty reply, when she stopped. The number was in digits at the top. Who was this? She had assumed it to be Henny playing her usual tricks. But if it was someone in her contacts the name should be clearly displayed, not a number.  
<<<< Miss me????>>>>  
Came the next txt from the number, Eryn grabbed the phone and instantly went to the bathroom, dropping it down the toilet she flushed it, over and over trying and begging it to disappear. Finally dropping to the floor, shaking. She burst into tears.  
Sometime later, she crawled back into bed, needing to be held and remember the way she had felt just moments before the text had arrived. She moved into Taron and held him tight. Doing all she could not to wake him, she breathed his scent in and soon felt the familiar safe feeling. Finally falling asleep.  
When she woke the next morning, Taron was already in the bathroom getting ready. She lay on her stomach as he wandered in holding her phone in a towel. “Eryn??” he asked gesturing to it. She swallowed hard “Phil texted me last night” she told him. “He what?” he replied staring from the phone to Eryn and back again. Dropping the device in the waste bin, he took no time in joining Eryn on the bed. “Are you ok, what did he say?” he asked the familiar brow furrowing, angry dimples set.  
Eryn shook her head dismissively “Nothing much, he was just looking to get a reaction” she said, “Well you have told the police, right?” he asked, and Eryn shook her head. “Why not? When did this happen?” he continued. It was then the door knocked and the breakfast tray Taron had ordered was brought in. Eryn rolled out of bed and joined Taron in the lounge area. As Taron thanked the waiter and shut the door. He made a beeline for Eryn. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked as Eryn began to eat, “Taron you were exhausted, it really was nothing” she was sure who she was kidding, but knew Taron wasn’t buying a word of what she was saying, the very fact he wasn’t eating said it all.  
She stood and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Baby he is in prison all the way back in the UK, what can he do? Nothing, I am ok I promise, now eat something if today’s even half as nuts as yesterday you are going to need it” she smiled kissing him. “Hmmmm” he said looking down at her suspiciously “ Ok, I’ll get you a new phone organised and have Lyndsay contact the police to let them know, I am gonna take your word that you’re okay” he said kissing her back. Squeezing her tightly and lifting her gently of her feet, making her giggle.  
They sat and ate, Eryn told Taron the truth about how hard she had found the day before, he listened intently. “I did wonder about that when you disappeared” he said “I’m so sorry, I thought this would be a good idea, give us a chance to do this together, I didn’t think about how much time you would have to sit and just watch” he admitted. “I’m not going to make you come today if you don’t want to, it is nice having you here to come back to though” he said. Eryn kissed him on the cheek as the message arrived that the car was ready. Eryn was still in her nightwear.  
“Tell you what” she said as he began to collect his things. “I have somewhere I want to visit this morning and I still need to confirm my outfit for the premiere on Thursday, then I will join you later, is that ok?” she smiled feeling better about things having cleared the air “Sounds like a plan, maybe you could choose a new phone while you out and txt me when you nearly with me” he kissed her cheek again “Ok” agreed “Go smooch Welsh boi, I’m so proud of you, you know?” she said as he left, blowing her a kiss.  
The place Eryn wanted to visit was a clinic, Henny had sent the details of. It was part of a group that were undertaking experimental fertility treatments. The procedure sounded like science fiction or something out of a badly written soap opera. ‘Uterine transplant’ she read as she sat nervously in the waiting area. The actual operation wasn’t that complex, but it was nowhere an easy road, 80% of the operations failed, 65% rejected in 6 months and only 40% of women successfully went onto carry a child. The percentages blurred into a mess as the idea that she could with this procedure have a chance to have her own baby and feel it grow in her too.  
Walking out of the clinic, with a folder of information and the words she wanted to use when she approached the subject with Taron, Eryn grinned. She was given a car and driver for the day, taking full advantage of it. She headed to the local mall and chose a new phone, with a smart pink glittered case. She had the car take her to meet Stella soon after and gratefully accepted a coffee and chat, whilst the stylist showed her a selection of gowns for the premiere.  
She was shown the suit Taron had already chosen and as usual loved the little quirks that he had chosen to make it his own. He had chosen a black trouser and white shirt with a dark green bowtie; the jacket was a deep green with a gold pinstripe. His shoes a brown brogue. The dresses Stella laid out were all gorgeous and Eryn enjoyed trying them all on, ultimately, she chose a deep gold gown, with similar copper coloured stilettos. She felt amazing in. They quickly discussed the make-up, jewellery and hair.  
By the time she was finished Eryn relegalised it was gone lunchtime. She had the driver stop at a decent looking food outlet and grabbed enough for both she and Taron. Texting Taron a pic of the bag, she smiled. It had been a great morning and she hoped that Taron’s had been as productive. He replied with a drooling and a grinning face emoji.  
Walking into the venue, she smiled as she watched the group of fans waiting outside, they seemed to being having a good time chatting and sharing stories. Excited to see Taron, she felt for them remembering her own teenage fanaticism, the joy and excitement. She was lucky and she knew it.  
Peeking her head around the corner of the room, she saw Taron deep in conversation, grinning and chatting to the interviewer. She found a place in the corner and Lyndsay nipped over to see her. “Hey Eryn, how was your morning, get everything you needed” she whispered. Motioning to a helper to bring in a table, seeing the bags of take away. “You’re doing me out of my job” she laughed as she helped pull out all of the food from the bags.  
“Taron told me you had a hard time yesterday, you should have said, I’m here for you too you know” she said warmly placing her hand Eryn’s arm, “I also informed the Police about your text nuisance, Did you manage to get a new phone?” she asked and Eryn waved her new pink glittered device. “Very nice, can I take it for a short while, I have some software I can download to prevent your ‘nuisance’ from repeating his little tricks” she said  
“Oooh god that looks good” Taron groaned as he appeared next to the women, Kissing Eryn while he grabbed a king prawn in batter and making erotic moaning sounds. Eryn grinned “Got keep my man happy” she laughed munching on the food herself.  
She sat and read through the folder from the clinic. While occasionally looking and watching Taron do his thing. Thankfully by 4 o’clock the last of the interviews were done and Taron had a break until the morning when he had a panel and photoshoot before the big premiere. Eryn tucked the papers away before Taron saw and headed outside. Taron looked over to the group waiting and Eryn nodded smiling, go make their lives baby. She went and waited in the car watching the excited fans surround Taron, some were shaking and crying.  
Once he climbed in and joined her, Eryn grabbed his face and smashed her lips against his. He was taken aback but joined in as the driver made his way back to the hotel. “Ok, and what was that about” he said coming up for breath. “Just reminding you who is your lady” she smirked “Oh are we a little bit jealous” he laughed. “maybe” she smiled. “I’m just not used to sharing you quite so much” she admitted. Stroking her face, he kissed her slowly as his hand ran up her neck and into her hair “I am all yours, always and forever” he whispered into her ear. She let her hands travel under his vest and over his pecs as she let him indulge her with his lips pressing against the skin on her neck.  
Arriving at the hotel, like two teenagers they quickly ran to the lift. Inside they were hands everywhere. Kissing each other with a Carnal urge, Eryn bit her lip as his hands ran down the back of her jeans and under her knickers. As the door opened and they fell into their suite. Taron smiled as he backed Eryn into the bedroom, and she sat on the edge of the bed as he began to strip. Throwing his shirt at her she held it to her, taking in the aftershave smell mixed with his natural aroma.  
She giggled as he struggled to get his foot out of his trousers and nearly toppled over. Standing up an helping him, she draped her arms around his neck and his eyes glittered as she felt herself falling into them. Removing his top and dropping it to the floor. He lifted hers off and kissed the curves of her breasts as the peeked out of the top of her bra.  
Backing her up again, she fell on to the bed pulling Taron with her. They chuckled as his weight pressed down on her and using his knees, he pressed her legs apart. Grinding a little between them. She ran her hands down his body and pushed his boxers off. He pressed himself against her causing her to hum to him. Holding her waist, he kissed her stomach as she unclipped her bra and dropped it to the floor. Taron pulled off her underwear.  
It was now Eryn felt the nerves hitting her, was the plane situation a one off, what if she still had difficulties, her head began to spin. Taking her out of the moment, she felt her breathing increase and before she could stop it, she was in full panic attack. Taron moved to hold her as she regulated her breathing, pressing himself against her as he usually did, hoping the technique would work and that it wasn’t one of the combinations attacks she had had before. Thankfully, within a short while she was able to calm down.  
“Damn it” she groaned Taron continued to hold her as she rested “I’m sorry” she said softly. “Nothing to say sorry for, come on” Taron said moving back and encouraging her to settle into him. “What happened? A flashback?” he asked. She sighed “Not this time, I just …. Think I psyched myself out” she admitted. He stroked her shoulder reassuringly. “You wanna try again” he asked cheekily. She smiled looking into his eyes “maybe later” she admitted. I actually have something to talk to you about.  
She slipped out of bed and collected the folder. She climbed back into the same place she had vacated and taking a breath handed him the folder.  



	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Eryn looked out of the window as the make-up artist got to work, the butterflies were already going nuts and her chest was tight. She already had two fans blowing to reduce sweating. But it wasn’t simply the premiere and crowds ahead that was affecting Eryn. She glanced occasionally at the door, thinking about the previous night’s events and inwardly she sighed. She had so much she needed to say, but this damn premiere was going to have to come first. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror as the artist showed her the finished product. She took it in, genuinely feeling amazed at the person looking back at her, she might feel inferior and an imposter. But she had an excellent mask that was for sure. Her Hair was fixed in an up do with a number of small curled sections at the bask that swung a little as she moved. She had the most ridiculously expensive jewellery on that sparkled and twinkled in the light.  
Stella entered grinning, “So Taron’s all ready, how about we get you done now beautiful lady, love that hair and make-up” she sauntered over to Eryn and assisted her to step into her gown, zipping it up. Eryn felt the part, her heels raised her a little but not enough to have her towering over Taron. “Ok Eryn” Stella said closing the door quietly. “Are you guys going to be good tonight?” she said softly placing a hand on Eryn’s shoulder. Eryn looked at her surprised “I know we haven’t known each other a great deal of time, but I have worked with Taron for years and you could cut the atmosphere between the two of you right now with a knife” Eryn looked at Stella “I can’t I don’t want to wreck my make up, but yeah last night we had a talk about something and let’s say, I thought we were on the same page, turns out not” she said uncomfortably “I see” stella replied.  
“I can see that right now you two are trying to power through, that’s brilliant. But Eryn, come find me if you need a break today ok” she was genuine, and Eryn fluttered her eyelashes nodding “Don’t I will start” she smiled as Stella nodded. “Girl, you are strong and you guys will get it sorted, whatever it is” Stella was firm and winked, Eryn was glad to have a female support here, she had called and cried down the phone to Henny, when Taron had stormed off to the bar last night. But it wasn’t the same as having someone with you to talk to and to take you away from it all.  
The door opened and Taron came in seeing the two women in conversation, he said quietly “The car is here” clearing his throat, he smiled looking at Eryn. Stella made her excuses and left the couple alone. Taron took Eryn by the hands “You look incredible” he said looking into her eyes Eryn played with the lapel on his jacket, “You look pretty hot yourself” she smiled shyly. A call came from the other room chasing them up. “We will talk later baby ok?” he said, and Eryn nodded as they made their way to the car.  
Eryn thought she had seen the madness but pulling up outside the movie theatre she was gobsmacked. Reams and reams of people pressed against metal barriers with the red carpet laid out between them. She had imagined the carpet to be empty but for them, instead there were lots of people having successfully passed security they were wandering in to the venue as if were a normal day, yes they were dressed up to the nines but otherwise it was bizarre. She saw the door open and once Taron climbed out the crowd’s sound level went up by a good 100 decibels and the driver held out her hand for her. Eryn emerged from the car and felt like a goddess in her gown.  
Something clicked and she managed to shake her anxieties away, Taron smiled and took her hand as they began to walk. It wasn’t long before Lyndsey was by Taron’s side and greeting Eryn, she whispered to her “I will bring him right back, stay here ok” Eryn nodded taking in the scene. She watched Taron and Lyndsey as she guided him to the barriers and he began signing and chatting with the crowd, taking selfies. He looked like a pro and knew exactly what to do. Lyndsay returned to Eryn, “ It’s a bit daunting first time Eryn, but you’ll get used to it, so we do this until the press section that’s when you will stand and let Taron lead you, he knows what to do, just do your best to follow his direction and you will ensure they get all the angles they want. I will then take him to specific people he needs to speak with and if you want to make your way into the foyer, we will meet you there ok?” she finished as she headed off to move Taron on.  
It was a lot to take in, but Eryn followed her direction and found it interesting watching Taron in action, he did look sexy in his suit, the colours bringing the green out of his eyes. There was cheeky bit of her that loved that she was the one to get to have the man everyone seemed desperate to have. They soon arrived at the point which she had to face the cameras herself, allowing everything from the previous night disappear for now. She revelled in him and when he pulled her close for the pictures, she smiled proudly and whispered “I’m not wearing any underwear” into his ear, watching him trying to stop the reaction showing on his face too much, he kissed her on the cheek. “Don’t start what you can’t finish” he said as Lyndsay led him away and she walked into the foyer.  
Once inside Taron found Eryn quickly and they headed over to get a drink. Sipping on water rather than alcohol with an empty stomach Eryn hugged Taron’s arm. “You ok?” he asked She smiled “I thought it would be scary, but actually it was quite fun watching you” she smiled, and he kissed her on the nose. “I’m glad it wasn’t scary” he added. He led her into the auditorium and the settle for the viewing. Finally, a time to relax a little, Taron wrapped his arm around her, and she leant into him. Watching him on screen was surreal, she became lost in the performance as she always did and was unaware of the little glances, he made her way as she watched. Loving seeing her facial expression as the action played out on screen, he couldn’t help the words he had said last night rolling through his mind. Things he needed to apologise for, things he knew he should have or shouldn’t have said.  
His thoughts were broken by the applause and credits rolling. Eryn turned to him with tears in her eyes, he looked a little concerned until she smiled as pride burst from her. She didn’t need to say a word, he knew everything she was feeling. “how soon before I get you alone welsh boi?” she whispered. He raised an eyebrow, having done the press interview after the panel that morning. They had to maybe mingle a short while, but Taron was going to tease her. Shrugging his shoulders, they stood and followed Lyndsey. Whispering to her, she nodded and led the way. A car was waiting outside the venue and Eryn couldn’t help laughing as Taron pulled her into the back of it. Thanking Lyndsay, they headed back to the hotel.  
“Did you just sideswipe the do after the premiere?” she asked shocked “Taron what are you doing?” He kissed her gently on the lips. “I did what was expected of me, now I want to be alone with you” he said. “Taron are you sure? If you have to work …” she broke off as he kissed her again. They spent the journey kissing and enjoying each other removing his bowtie and unbuttoning his shirt, Taron breathed freer. Eryn ran her hands over his chest and pushed off his jacket, soon were at the hotel.  
Falling into bed, Taron unzipped Eryn’s gown and smiled when he saw she hadn’t been lying about her lack of underwear. She took no time removing his clothes and crawling under the covers. She looked into his eyes and as much as she tried, she found the previous night coming to her. She kissed him, “Taron, I can’t…” she said softly. His head dropped to her shoulder “Is it because of last night?” he said the breath from his words felt like tickles on her neck as he spoke. She nodded.  
“I am sorry, I think we forget that we are still new to each other Eryn” he said turning to talk to her properly. She looked down at him “I know, you were right. I’ve no patience and I should have told you from the start, I just…” she said “Wanted to surprise me, I ruined your ‘ta dah’ moment I know” he broke in. “Taron, I never meant to make you feel left out and I would never make a big decision like this without you, but I am the one having the operation, it’s my body.” She said firmly “I know and I let this crap around us get in my head, I was selfish” he admitted “No Taron, you were right, we have a wedding and a fucking trial to deal with, I was getting ahead of myself” she stroked his face, “You are the sensible one Taron, and I need that, don’t ever give in to me just because I kick and scream ok?” she smiled as he leant into her hand “ Ok” he said softly.  
“The procedure worries me, there are so many uncertainties and it’s all on you, that worries me too. You have so much to deal with, besides are we really thinking of bringing a child into this relationship so soon, I want children and Eryn so much with you. But I want us to be just us for a while yet. If it happened of course, we would go for it, but while we still have a choice about it, Eryn I don’t want to hurt you, but we aren’t ready. I’m just not ready, yet” he sighed. But she lifted his face “I’m not either, it’s a whole journey and you’re right, I got ahead of myself” They met in a kiss and Taron’s hand caught in Eryn’s hair, he reached into it and pulled the pins out, as it fell down. He sighed getting the access he wanted. He pressed her to him, his tongue dipping in between her lips as he felt her squirm under his touch.  
As he kissed her, his hand moved between her legs and slipped into her, his thumb circling her clit and his index and middle fingers quickly finding her sweet spot inside, pressing firmly and rotating. She moaned into his neck as she felt that delightful fizzing feeling and closing her eyes. Concentrated on his touch, she could feel herself coming and knowing it too, he slid his hand out and onto her hip as she whimpered in desperate disappointment at the lack of him touch. He smiled into his kisses and he moved to her neck and playfully bit her. She wriggled herself between his hips and rubbed her foot and leg up his urging him nearer. He allowed her to guide him into her as she swallowed hard, feeling him in her again was amazing.  
She squeezed him tightly with her legs as he moved in a strong rhythm, increasing the speed until the headboard began to bang against the wall. Ignoring the neighbours, Eryn let go and groaned loudly, egging Taron on she moaned his name “Oh god baby” she cried as she felt her orgasm. He kissed her hard hoping to distract her from psyching herself out again. It did the trick and he felt and saw her stiffen in his hands. She closed her eyes as she arched her back, but it his desperation to distract her he lost his own momentum and as she panted, he lost his erection. She looked to him, realising what had happened as he pulled out. She moved quickly, grabbing him by the neck she kneeled in front of him, kissing him hard.  
She held him in her hand and ran her hand up the length of his shaft, as her tongue went to work. When this seemed not to work, she bent down and took him in her mouth. He lifted her head, shaking his head. She looked at him confused. “Stop” he said and got off the bed, shutting the bathroom door behind him. Eryn sighed, ‘Great’ she thought.  
She heard the frustration as Taron threw anything, he could get his hands on around the bathroom, Eryn walked to the door and opened it. Taron turned away as you realised, he was embarrassed he had clearly been trying to get himself hard and failed taking the frustration out on the contents of the bathroom. Eryn walked over to him and tried to take him into her arms. He resisted shrugging her off, but she gripped his arm and pulled him sharply into the arms. He stiffened, his eyes closed tightly in anger and pain. She stood silently holding on to him as he eventually relaxed. Taking his hand, she pulled him back to the bed. He pressed his back to the headboard and hugged his knees as Eryn knelt next to him. Her Chin on his knee and eyes closed as her hands held his knees.  
The room was quiet and neither spoke. Eventually Taron reached over and stroked the fringe out of Eryn’s face, his expression sad and pouting slightly. She stroked his cheek, not needing words. They spoke in eye movements and minute facial expressions. He opened his legs and she moved to snuggle into him, holding him tightly. She listened to his heartbeat. “Maybe I broke it” Eryn offered, breaking the tension and causing both to chuckle. “Taron loved how she did that, broke through all the bullshit with her quick wit. “Seriously though, it’s not broke” he nodded. She stroked his chest. “Maybe you gave me yours?” she continued. He laughed again, “I love you” he said looking down at her “I love you too Welsh Boi” she replied running her hand across his stomach.  



	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44  
The flight from Singapore to New York, was easier than the one from the UK out. Taron slept the whole way whilst Eryn was too excited to see Henny and Visit New York for the first time. She found herself inspired and worked much of the way. She was trying out something new and had sent the first few pages to her publisher. The response was incredible. They were blown away and eager to get more if she had any. Pleased and excited she set straight to work. She glanced at Taron sleeping every now and then, hoping his sleep would refresh and improve his mood. He had taken to snapping moodily at her and avoided all chances of intimacy. Whenever she had tried to get him to talk, something was suddenly more important and meant he had to be elsewhere.  
She emailed Henny her first draft and was waiting for a response. The email suddenly showed, and she opened it scared. “Fucking Hell Eryn Eliza Riley, you dirty, dirty whore” the tagline read. Eryn pulled the lid of laptop a little more closed “Ok” she breathed as she read the main body. “Well shove off E.L James, 50 fucking what???” it said “Now that! I would buy in an instant, and that’s not just because I know the soon to be multi trillionaire writer, bloody hell you have a real gift” it read. Eryn laughed, she knew the material was risqué and nothing like anything she had previously done, but she wanted to branch out and away from her usual love stories and soap opera type stuff.  
She clicked out of the email, smiling to herself. She returned to typing the next chapter of ‘Flames’ and laughed at herself. Erotica was not a genre she thought she could see herself making a name on, but if it were the niche, she was best at why not. She had been doing a lot of research into ways to spice things up in the bedroom and stop her and Taron taking their day to day problems into their heads with them. It had her thinking about role play and in turn this spilled into her writing a description of a plan she had, when she found herself getting into it, she turned it into a piece. She looked again at Taron, wondering what he would think of the new turn in her career.  
Once they landed and were about to walk out into the main arrivals, Taron pushing the trolley. Eryn received a text; the New York office of her publishers had been sent the part manuscript for ‘Flames’ and wanted a meeting to discuss it. Eryn stopped as she read it, looking ahead she grumbled under her breath as she saw Taron had walked on without her. As they walked out of the doors, the shouting and screaming was crazy, only this time it came from one nutty Brit with a massive welcome banner reading their names. Henny came running up to Taron, who smiled and let himself be hugged as Henny scowled at Eryn over his shoulder. Releasing Taron, she ran to Eryn and the two squealed like teenagers. “What’s up with grumble guts?” Henny asked “Same shit” Eryn replied “Not his fucking erection still” Henny groaned “Men and their cocks” she tutted, linking arms with Eryn they caught up with Taron.  
“So, I still need to know why my loft, isn’t good enough” she huffed “The hotel was laid on by the studio Hen, you know we love you” Eryn replied. “Taron you’re quiet” Henny teased “Just tired” he answered smiling politely. He knew Henny probably had all the details of what was going on between him and Eryn. It annoyed him that she knew intimate stuff about him, but having complained to his Mam about it, had to accept it was what best friends and especially women did. “well I will ride with you to your hotel and then you can get sorted and I will pick you up at 7pm to take you out” Henny grinned as they made their way to the taxi rank. Taron and the driver loaded the boot with the bags as the girls, sat and chatted excitedly in the back seat “How long has he been in this sulk?” Henny asked smiling a terribly fake smile at him through the window. “since it happened so pretty much 2 days?” Eryn replied “I have a plan Hen, don’t worry” she added. “Oh yes, I got those things you asked for, I’ll bring them with me tonight, are they for this book? Or you two” Eryn nodded laughing “The book, but who knows, if he doesn’t crack a smile”. She showed Henny the text she had just received, and Henny squealed making the taxi wobble as she hugged Eryn. “That’s fucking Epic Ren, I am so proud of you, damn it who knew” she laughed.  
“What’s epic?” Asked Taron as he nudged Eryn over to sit next to her. She showed him the text. “Flames?” he said questioning “I told you I was working on a new project” Eryn said as Henny laughed and Taron looked suspiciously at her. “I think you need to fill me in on this new project, clearly Henny thinks its brilliant and so do the New York guys, I’ve seen nothing of it” he said a tinge of disappointment in his voice. “Well this trip is about promoting your stuff babe; I can show you later maybe” Eryn tried to ease the mood she saw getting worse. Henny motioned zipping her lip. Taron stared out of the window for the rest of the journey, as if he hadn’t seen New York a number of times now.  
The girls chatted happily as Henny told Eryn all the plans she had in store and all the exciting things they must see whilst they were there. They pulled up in front of the four seasons and Taron got out almost before the car stopped. “Fuck me Eryn, that man needs a slap” Henny remarked as she saw him pay and tip the driver. Eryn sighed “He has a lot on his mind, but he’s starting to piss me off now too to be honest, I will be sorting this out before we see you tonight, I can tell you that much” Eryn said “Henny smiled, That’s the Eryn Riley I know and love” Hugging her friend hard and kissing her cheek. “Keep that cell phone on and I’ll be here at 7pm” she said as Eryn climbed out of the cab and joined Taron on the pavement, who waved at Henny before turning and going into the hotel. Eryn rolled her eyes and shrugged at Henny, following Taron.  
Another crazy luxurious suite and Eryn was amazed as she walked around taking it all in. The bus boy had not only brought up their cases but unpacked them too. Her make up laid out on the dressing table and laptop set on the desk by the window overlooking central park. She grinned and walked into the bedroom, dropping onto the huge bed. Taron came out of the bathroom and began to head out to the lounge “Enough Taron, for fucks sake where are you going now?” Eryn shouted. Taron stopped but didn’t turn “I need to let Lyndsey know we are here” he said “No Taron” she said getting up and walking around to face him. “You were fucking rude to Henny Taron and this mood is just ridiculous now, whatever you need to say fucking say it because it’s not fucking fair” she said tears of frustration in her eyes. Taron looked at her, “I’m fine, I don’t know what you are talking about” he said avoiding eye contact.  
“You are not THAT good of a fucking actor Taron, even Henny noticed, asked what was up with you” she continued “Because she wouldn’t know, you tell her everything” he spat “ Yes, I do” she replied “Bet you had a good old laugh didn’t you, poor Taron can’t get it fucking up” he growled “Is that seriously what all this is about? because one time your body failed you? Did you see me sulking and making life shit for you when I couldn’t fucking come?” she pointed out. He sucked in his bottom lip “I didn’t tell anyone about it did I?” “and if you had told one of your mates, I still wouldn’t fucking care, grow up Taron. Yes, I asked my best friend how to help, what to do? Is that so bad, no we didn’t laugh, you think we would laugh, fuck Taron. You don’t know me that well” she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine, using a glass out on the top she poured a glass and sipped it.  
Shaking his head Taron followed her and sat on the stools in front of the breakfast bar, “Pass me a beer. Please?” he asked, and Eryn reached into the fridge, opening the bottle on the bar she handed him a corona. He swigged it “I’m sorry” he muttered “Of course you wouldn’t laugh” he said. She nodded and reached her hand out; he took it staring at hers and the ring on her finger. “I’m also sorry I have been a miserable prick these last few days, it’s not just about the getting hard thing” he exhaled “Tell me” Eryn asked squeezing his hand. “It’s why I think I had the problem, there’s so much going on Eryn, my head feels like it’s going to explode” Eryn let go of his hand and walked behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders, she pressed into them and massaged the tight knotted muscles “Go on…” she said.  
“I really wanted this trip to be something and it’s not what I expected. I was an idiot, I thought it would bring us closer, you know I could share it all with you. But I just feel conflicted all the time, I usually only have myself to think about and so my focus is on the job and only the job. I can manage the tiredness and craziness, because I can nap between stuff. But I feel like I need to be with you and look after you. I want you to be ok and enjoy it all and it’s just too much pressure baby” he dropped his head as tears dropped onto his knees. Eryn moved her arms around his neck and pulled him back into her holding him tight. She rested her head on his shoulder and he let his head lean against her. “I’m sorry” he muttered again.  
“Stop that already” she replied “I wish you would talk to me Taron; you take so much on; I was the same babe. I thought this would be great and bonding, maybe we were naive. Maybe I ought to stay with Henny while you finish the trip” She offered “You mean the whole trip, stay in New York?” He asked Eryn shrugged and moved to face him “I was thinking now actually, including the New York stuff. If you need me gone to get the job done, I can do that” she said “I will miss you like fucking crazy” she smiled “But whatever you need” she said kissing him on the forehead, he wiped it scowling playfully “Granny kisses” he grumbled smiling. “ No, stay with me at least for the New York bit” he said putting his arms around her waist and pulling her to him “Besides I need you to help me fix this problem I have” he smirked rubbing his crotch against her and raising his eyebrow at her.  
“Can you ever be serious for more than a minute welsh boi?” Eryn asked. “Sorry” he replied “Taron you have got to start talking to me? Stop trying to fix everything and be everything to everyone” she said “I’m going to be your husband Ren, I’m meant to be ‘the man’ for fucks sake, I’m meant to take care of you, be the strong one” he was exasperated “Who fucking says” she growled “ Taron that’s bullshit” she added. He let go of her and began to pace. “It’s not though Eryn, is it?” he groaned “That’s how I was raised, to be a gentleman a... a” he broke off again Eryn saw tears and anger flood his eyes. She was listening but hated all the pressure he was putting on himself. She walked over and held him still, preventing him pacing. He tried to break free, but she used her weight to stop him “Stop fucking fighting me Taron” she puffed  
He stared at her anger rising as he pulled himself free roughly, she fell back the change in balance catching her off guard she fell against a side table sending it and the items on it flying. Eryn took a deep breath and looked up at Taron. His face was so deeply pained, she saw him fighting an urge to run away. She did all she could to will him not to. Thankfully, he dropped to the floor. Crumbling into a sobbing mess. She moved over to him and wrapped her arms around him.  
As he shook violently, she soothed him with her voice. He let her move him and he buried his head in her stomach as wracking sobs shook his whole body. “It’s ok” Eryn repeated He raised his head looking at her, his eyes were read and bloodshot. “I am so sorry” he gasped, and Eryn shook her head “Baby it was an accident, ssh” she cooed. “I’m as bad as that…” he began when Eryn snapped “Don’t you even” she shouted as Taron moved a little back, shaken by the vitriolic reaction “Don’t you ever compare yourself with that motherfucker Taron, ever” she cried. “Goddamit Taron, don’t you see how unlike him you are? You think he would think twice about half the stress you’re giving yourself” she continued.  
“I didn’t mean to sound as if I was attacking the way you were raised, when I said all of that stuff was bullshit” she began “I meant it’s the same idea that fucking arseholes like Phil use to excuse how they behave, the thing stops men from reaching out for help and makes them jump in front of fucking trains or hang themselves from the rafters Taron” she was so angry now she couldn’t stop “ Taron you tell me I am strong and brave, then act like I am going to break! putting yourself under so much pressure to keep me safe, you say all this about not knowing each other and being new in this, but don’t trust me with what is going on in your head, you want to save me or fix me, then tell me I’m perfect as I am, what am I meant to do with that Taron?” she sank back down holding his face in her hands “I love the fucking bones of you don’t you get that, but I am not going to fall apart without you baby, I mean that in the best way. I don’t want to ever be without you, but I could cope” she said.  
He placed his hands-on top of hers. “I’ve been an idiot, haven’t I?” he said sadly “No darling, you have been incredibly sweet, loving, thoughtful and kind. You just think you maybe saw me as vulnerable because of how we met and all that happened in those early days, you just never moved on from that” she said “Your right, I felt guilty for what happened Eryn, if I hadn’t left that night” She looked at him “ Damn Taron, You still feel guilty about that?” she asked and he nodded. “I think actually we should maybe see someone Taron” Eryn said thinking for a moment “What like a shrink?” he asked “ Yeah” she laughed “I don’t want you to hold onto that guilt and saying stop feeling bad isn’t going to do anything, so maybe a counsellor could help, release some of those demons” she looked at Taron “I’ve never spoken to anyone like that, I don’t know” he said “I’m not going to make you, but can you think about it for me? And Taron Fucking talk to me at least” she said pulling him close again.  
“I want to know what you are worrying about, even if you think its daft or I will laugh, even if we have been over and over the same problem, tell me again and again. I promise I will never not want to know” she said pressing the point home as much as possible by looking into his eyes. He moved to her and kissed her firmly on the lips. Then dropping his head onto her shoulder. “My Mam’s always telling me not to bottle things up” he admitted “Wise bloody woman that Tina is” Eryn laughed “So come on then, so far I know you still hold guilt about that night, I know the pressure of working and worrying about me is too much, I know I screwed up and added to that by bringing up the whole baby thing in the middle of it all, but you see had I known how stressed you already were, I might have handled that whole thing differently, the miscarriage, all that shit with my body failing me must have not been a great time for you and your pride and you’re not all that happy that I discuss our sex life with Hen, did I get it all or is there more?”  
He dropped his head “All of the above, Eryn I love you so much and god ok, you want to know it all. But I don’t want to hurt you” he said “I told you I was high maintenance Taron; I think I can guess the rest. Is it to do with my flashbacks and Phil and every fucking thing that goes with all of that” she said? Seeing his expression, she knew that she had hit the nail right on the head. “I hate that he still gets to hurt you, that his face doesn’t leave you alone and I can’t do anything but hold you until it passes and that doesn’t even work now” he admitted. Eryn again held his face “Now you see why people give up on me and I can’t blame them” she said her eyes dropping as she finished. He leant in and kissed her, making her drop her hands. “I’m going nowhere” he whispered to her.  
“I know I would hate it if it were the other way round Taron and if it helps I hate that I can’t stop it either, I hate that I can’t give you a way to help me so you feel… fuck I don’t know…” it was Eryn’s turn to crumble now defeated as Taron scooped her up, getting of the hard floor and laying her on the bed. He pulled her close and rocked her gently “I need to get over its Eryn, I need to just understand that I can’t fix everything” he said, “and understand how much you do actually do, Taron!” She said firmly “It’s so frustrating, I just have no way to tell you how much you do, do! You say ‘all’ you can do is… but you have to understand how much that matters and it’s not the small thing you are making it out to be” she added. “and I need to see that you know it too, and feel it, feel how important what you are doing” she said softly stroking his cheek.  
“I really help that much?” he said doing all he could to force himself to believe her and accept her words. He bent down and kissed her softly. She leant into him and pressed herself closer. She pressed harder and let her tongue softly part his lips as he inhaled heavily, understanding her intentions. He whispered in her ear “I need to make love to you” his breath sending a shiver through her. Eryn moved a little back and pulled off her top, responding in kind Taron too quickly removed his clothing and once she was done, he took her hand and she wrapped her arms around his neck. His lips were like electric as they moulded with hers perfectly.  
His hands ran down her body, slowly he explored every inch, with alternating his palm and fingertips. Using her knees, she nudged him placing him between as she pressed kisses into his chest and gripped his taught arm muscles. She reached his stomach, she had been aware of his erection already but now she took him gently in her hand and ran her fingertip in a circle around the tip, sending him crazy, he groaned. She started to kiss his neck as she moved rhythmically up and down his cock, “Do you want to come in my mouth or my body?” she asked. The couple had never been into dirty talk and as Taron heard the words he wondered why; it was so hot. “I want to come in you baby”  
he said. She too found hearing him tell her what he wanted increased her arousal and smiling she moved until she could lower herself onto him. Her legs wrapped around his waist, him on his haunches and feet on the bed. He could deepen himself further and use the springs of the bed to help him with the motion he wanted. Chests pressed against each other meant that left their hands free to explore each other more. Smashing their lips together fighting each other for access to each other’s lips. Their eye contact was intense as they refused to look away or close their eyes. Taron’s hand moved into Eryn’s hair holding the nape of her neck as he felt himself coming. Eryn very nearly there too, she gripped his arms slightly pressing her nails into his skin as it hit. Seeing each other coming was the most intense thing they had experienced. Unable to move their eyes away even in the moments after.  
Overcome with emotion, Eryn felt tears dropping on her. She wiped he eyes and was aware they were not just from her own eyes as Taron grinned at her. So involved in each other, they forgot entirely that they had made plans for that evening. Still physically entwinned and he still in her. They were gobsmacked when a very red-faced Henny, came bounding into the suite “The guy downstairs said to come straight up, gave me the card and oh my fucking Christ” she screamed.  
Taron pulled out carefully and Eryn grabbed the bedding to cover them. “I am fucking going, Yeah I will bloody knock next time, deffo. Shit you arseholes…. I take it we are going to fucking rain check this…. Shitting hell Eryn… I’m glad the bloody things working again Taron… nice one. Shit I mean... oh for fucks sake… Fuck Fuck Fuck off” Henny babbled as she slammed the door shut. Eryn and Taron burst into laughter.  
Stroking her face Taron kissed Eryn softly and with all the love he wanted her to feel. “We should get married” he said smiling, Eryn waggled her ring finger at him “Did you forget already?” she laughed “No I meant while we are here, we can get a licence at City Hall the same day” he said “ Your nuts” she chuckled again, but saw a touch of serious in his eyes “ Taron are you serious?” she asked  
“I don’t know, maybe” he said, “Ignore me, it’s the post epic sex hormones” he said shaking his head “Taron, no, come on tell me what you were thinking?” Eryn asked. “Ok, I was thinking that the folder is full of stuff you have agreed to but don’t like or want, but want others to be happy” he said as Eryn stuttered, “You and that mind reading, How did you know that?” she said sheepishly. “Eryn, I know when you are truly excited” he said and she blushed “when you were telling me about it, it was all my mam loved and the girls will love and Taron you will love… I rarely heard you say that you loved any of it” he said. “So why don’t you and I get us a nice set of gear and go to central park and just do it. We can have a big party in Aber when we get back” he said Eryn lay on his chest drawing circles in his chest hair.  
“Sounds very romantic Taron and easy, no stress” she said “But” “but what?” he asked “Your Mam and the girls will kill us” they said together laughing “ How about I throw the folder out and we do it again, only just the two of us making the decisions” Eryn compromised “Sounds like a decent idea” he said. “Now I think you better call Henny and shall I order food? I am starved” he sat tapping his stomach. Eryn kissed it “You always are” she smiled. “Got to keep my strength up dealing with you” he said cheekily. “So, you’re going to start talking to me, now right?” she asked as he looked for a menu in the drawer. Sitting back, he looked like he’d had the world lifted from his shoulders “ Yes, you and my Mam are right of course, I will try, I do feel better having it all out in the open, but I might need reminding, old habits etc” he said honestly “ You always like to show the vulnerability in your characters right” She said “ Yeah” he asked a little confused “ Why?” she asked “ Well because otherwise it isn’t authentic, I mean … oh” he suddenly said now understanding where Eryn was going with the question. “Because everyone has a vulnerable side and the character wouldn’t be a true representation if it didn’t show all sides. Men don’t have to be strong and brave all the time, they can show a vulnerable side and that’s… ok, ok I get your point” he admitted. She grinned “So if you can do it at work, you can do it at home too can’t you? and now you have a good way to remember” she smiled nodding “yes I do” he chuckled. “I do love you; you know?” he said smiling and moving her fringe the way he liked “I love you too” she replied.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45  
Taron handed Eryn her coffee as he was already ready to get going. Eryn however was fretting over her outfit; she had arranged the meeting with the New York contingent for her book. Lyndsey has offered to accompany her once she had dealt with Taron’s morning and Eryn was massively grateful. “Baby… baby calm down whatever you wear it will be amazing” Taron said kissing her on the cheek. “It’s what you say not what you look like” he added. “I have to get going, I wish I could come, but I know you will kill it” he finished pulling her into a tight hug. She smiled gratefully and breathed him in.  
“I will see you for dinner with Henny, if she can face us” he laughed as he placed his sunglasses on and disappeared. Once Taron had gone, Eryn decided a new outfit was needed and rang Henny “ Damn Girl you have some Balls” Henny answered “Lol oh Hen are you ok” Eryn replied “Fuck no, my eyeballs have been burned from their freakin sockets” she laughed “You should have knocked” Eryn giggled “ Anyway it was way more embarrassing for us” she added “ Well you Taron being knee deep in your lady bits was something I won’t get from my brain for years, you guys can pay for my therapy” she laughed “But I take it you guys sorted stuff out, If not your relationships more fucked up than I thought” she laughed.  
“Nah we did, I think Taron’s finally getting it, that he has to open up to me” she said happily “Well I guess it was worth it then…. Almost” she agreed “So Hen can you hit me up with somewhere to find an outfit for this interview thingy today “ooh shopping trip, fuck me yes give me 10 and I will meet you in the lobby, your room gives me fucking hives now” she said shuddering. Finishing the call, Eryn threw on a pair of jeans and trainers, with a t-shirt and hoodie.  
The two women had the best morning, checking out the clothes and going to all of New York’s best and most notable places. Eryn finally chose a white blouse and pale blue skirt with a matching jacket. All complete with stiletto ankle boots that Henny felt gave her the right mix of hot, erotic author and professional woman. After a decent brunch and plenty of coffee the henny had to go to work herself and arranged dinner again for 7pm that night. As long as they promised to meet in the lobby from now on.  
==========  
Waiting on the pavement outside the huge building Eryn gave herself the pep talk she knew Henny and Taron would. Lyndsay was already inside, and she just had to step over the threshold. It was then she felt a hand in hers and turned suddenly, Taron smiled at her. “I got done early” he grinned “come on” he said tugging her into the revolving door. Inside Eryn walked confidently up to the reception and dropped Taron’s hand. “Eryn Riley for Finley, Taylor Dean” she said and was directed to the 5th floor. “I’m gonna stay down here, Lyndsay should be already up there, you will be amazing” he said kissing her on the cheek.  
The elevator doors opened, and Eryn was so glad to see Lyndsay’s smiling face. She moved to sit next to her. “Looking good” Lyndsay said, “How are you feeling?” she asked “swanlike?” she answered her own question and Eryn nodded. “Right well Ms Riley, we are going in there not to beg for them to publish, we are here to see what they can offer you ok?” she said firmly. Eryn straightened in her seat “I read the manuscript Eryn, it is best seller level and that’s me talking with my professional head on” She said, making Eryn feel her confident grow.  
Two gentlemen appeared and called her name, Lyndsay and Eryn stood. Game faces rigidly fixed they walked into the room confidently. When they emerged they were straight faced and it wasn’t until the doors to the elevator closed that they giggled to each other and Lyndsay high fived Eryn they managed to compose themselves as they walked out and over to Taron who was talking to his Mam on the phone.  
“mam … mam I have to go Eryn’s back, I promise… I will ring you later” he finished and jumping up, he caught the air of sophistication the two women had adopted and let Eryn take his hand leading them all outside. A few blocks down the ladies burst out laughing “Well…” said Taron “Omg that was fantastic, your girl is rocking the world of Erotica baby” Lyndsay and Eryn Hugged and laughed “Erotica??” Taron said raising his eyebrows. Eryn had yet to get around to showing her new stuff to Taron and bit her lip.  
“Taron’s not read it yet?” Lyndsay said “ Well ok, I guess now it’s time for me to disappear” he said “Taron remember drinks with united tonight at 10pm and early start for the big junket tomorrow” she said, hugging Eryn again “Text me later, oh and guys I will need to feedback to united about all of this, we are still working on your engagement announcement and when that breaks everyone’s gonna want any little bit of info on Eryn, you guys know that. So we will need a proper meeting to hash all that out, but anyway Congratulations Eryn and I look forward to reading more…” she hugged Eryn and then Taron “Remember her works as important to her as yours is to you” she whispered as she left Taron.  
“How long until we meet Henny?” Taron asked wrapping his arm around Eryn as they began to walk “A few hours, why?” Eryn replied “well why don’t we go back to the room; order room service and I can get a look at this erotica that everyone seems so thrilled about” he said grinning. “Erotica ?? really?” he said raising an eyebrow Eryn nudged him with her head. “Turns out it’s what I do best” she chuckled Taron sped up their walking “Come on hurry up, if it’s that good maybe we can recreate a scene or two” he said laughing “Without anyone interrupting this time”  
========  
Eryn gave up after just a few minutes of Taron reading and ran off to the spa. Pulling on her swimwear she sat in the jacuzzi staring at the mermaid mosaics on the pool. Her mind was racing, would Taron hate her writing, be embarrassed and concerned that people would think it was based on the two of them? The truth was that it was of course partly taken from her feelings when she was with him and past experience too. But she knew she had no control on what others thought it was all about. She also wondered how Taron would feel about her writing the particularly filthier parts. Would it change how he saw her? It had become a way to explore things she would never consider in reality and even some stuff she found she really didn’t like.  
She dipped her head back in the water and floated there for a while closing her eyes. She rose up as she felt someone joining her in the water and smiled at Taron as he moved toward her pulling her to him grinning. “Well?” she looked terrified “I don’t know what to say” he told her “I mean for one thing there is the writing, which I mean I can’t say that I’m an expert, especially this particular genre” he reddened and Eryn loved to see how it made him blush. “But it was incredible” he said kissing her “And secondly?”  
she asked as he moved to her neck “ Secondly, wow” he laughed “ I had no idea that this was in here” he said kissing her temple and running his hand through her hair “I can see that it certainly seems to have had an effect” she said as his hands ran over her breasts, under the water and she felt his erection pressing into her “If you mean did it get me going? Erm hell yeah” he smiled “She chuckled and kissed him back “Baby we are kind of in a public place and ‘Adaline’ isn’t me babe” she looked at him “So Bronson isn’t me? I mean I did see some similarities, but not sure I could keep up with his ego” he said his hands on her hips.  
“There may be a little of us in it, I mean that’s what writers do, do you mind?” she asked a little concerned. “It’s not blatantly me, so no. I can’t speak though for my Mam for example or the press, I think they will grab onto that one” he admitted “Is that a problem?” she asked as he kissed her chest and around her neck. He shook his head “I guess it depends what they say, I mean it’s pretty complimentary if they do choose to say it’s me” he laughed “ Hey, you know that you are way up there right” she replied cheekily “Ok baby should we move this upstairs” she laughed as he made a serious effort to entice her.  
Nodding again and waggling his eyebrows. He grabbed her hand and led her out of the jacuzzi. Wrapping the towel around her and another one around his waist. She kissed him hard and whispered into his ear “I have something interesting for you upstairs”. He moved so quickly Eryn’s feet slipped on the wet floor, but his momentum kept her upright. Once in the room Eryn took the bag she had been given by Henny and disappeared into the bathroom,  
While Taron put on some music and poured the pair a drink. Eryn was shocked by her transformation and wondered if it was too much. Shaking herself she decided that right now she would be Adaline and finished her red lipstick. She heard the romantic music playing and walked out, setting her Spotify playlist to one she used whilst writing labelled “Flames” she had it sent to the stereo and Taron turned confused when the music changed midway through and turned to the double doors that led to the bedroom when the light went out in the main area. Eryn stood leaning against the doorframe, clad head to toe in black pvc, her slicked back, a wide black band around the base of long straight ponytail. She swung it to lay across her shoulder, she wore Smokey eyes and her lashes were long and flattered her bright blue eyes, her scarlet lips glistened with their gloss. In her hand was a pair of handcuffs.  
Taron swallowed the lump in his throat as he took the woman in front of him in. remembering what he had read earlier, he had an idea that she really meant business. The track playing was a Celine Dion track, but Taking chances was no love song is was a powerful vocal experience and set the power balance perfectly.  
Eryn strode confidently over to Taron and clicked on hand cuff onto his wrist. He stood in front of her silent, his chest heaving in anticipation, she turned quickly and holding the other half of the cuff pull him toward the bedroom. He stumbled slightly but followed as she clicked the other end to the head of the bed. He looked from the cuffs to her face. She looked so strong and in control. He was already hard and desperate to touch her. He reached his hand out, Eryn slapped it away. Shaking her head. He exhaled heavily as she crawled over him pulling a second set of cuffs out from under the pillow, she took his other wrist and clicked it to the bedstead next the other.  
His hands above his head, he licked his lips. Eryn moved toward him and hovered her lips above his, he stretched as far as he could to kiss her, but she was just out of reach. She began to unbutton his shirt and removed it, running her new red talons down his chest leaving red mark behind, he arched as she did so. She mouthed the words as the song changed to Queens the show must go on. Yanking his trousers and boxers off in one go, revealing his cock springing upward. She bit her lip and dropped down on to it. Her tongue finds the tip and circulating around the shaft. She sucked gently and rhythmically increasing the pressure and releasing as he groaned loudly. Dropping him she slapped him, “Who said you could make a noise” she told him.  
Again, he swallowed hard and pulled against the cuffs, desperate to feel her, kiss her. She hovered again “You want to kiss me?” she asked “So bad” he muttered, and she placed a finger on his lips to ssh him. As she pressed her lips to him, his tongue entering her mouth desperately. He could feel the pvc against his body and it sent the most erotic feelings through him. Unable to grab her with his hands he moved his legs to try and hold her. Breaking from the kiss she grabbed his thighs pressing her nails into the muscles. Taron saw a ripple run through her and knew the area was a particular favourite.  
She squeezed the muscle hard and groaned, placing his right thigh between her legs she pressed hard against it. Taron was able to feel that the pvc get up had an open section and felt her pelvic bone pressing against him. Seeing her expression, he knew she had position him right on her clit and moved his leg against he as she moaned against it. She could feel herself coming and moved to Taron’s dick, lowering herself she reached up and clicked the safety on the handcuffs releasing his hands. She began to move him in and out. His hands now free though he moved fast pushing her back so he was now on top, he pressed himself deeply into her “Taron fuck me from behind” Eryn groaned He smiled pulling out she turned over and felt him enter her, holding her waist firmly he began slow and soon picked up speed as he pounded her, grabbing her ponytail he yanked it back as she called out “ Fuck Taron oh fucking god” as she came hard, shuddering and trembling. Soon after Taron’s movements became sloppier and he too hit that spot, “Fuck Eryn you fucking kill me” he breathed as he came hard. And the pair flopped onto the bed. Taron pulled out and turning Eryn over kissed her hard “I think I like this new thing of yours” he said breathlessly.  
Eryn though was still shaking and trembling “baby are you ok?” he asked concerned. She smiled having no idea what was happening “I’m … it’s still going” she admitted. Taron took moment before he understood “You mean you’re still” he said laughing a little as she curled into him “Coming yes” she closed her eyes as she continued to tremble for a few more minutes, before finally settling down. “Well that’s certainly new” she smiled weakly at him. He blinked furiously not knowing what to say.  
The pair cuddled for some time, before Eryn began to feel hot and uncomfortable. Taron helped to unzip the suit and with some difficulty removed it from her sweaty body. Dropping it on the floor. “Damn Eryn, that was fucking hot” Taron said smiling at her as he stroked her arm gently “Not such a bad idea then” she laughed. “Hey, hang on I never got the lowdown on the bloody meeting, what happened?” he asked laughing at how distracted he had been by the writing. “ They offered me £10,000 a book for a set of 3, but Lyndsay had them offering £15,000 for 5 by the time we left” she beamed “Bloody hell, Eryn that’s just brilliant” he smiled “I am so bloody proud of you, do you know that?” he told her. She leant up and kissed him softly “Keep talking I like this telling me how great I am” she softly chuckled.  
“No, you don’t, you hate compliments” Taron scowled “Okay well right now I like it” she admitted. Kissing her between each remark Taron listed all the things he loved about her. As the phone rang, “Damn it what time is it? Did we miss Hen again?” Eryn asked grabbing the phone. But it wasn’t Henny it was a private number, “Hello Eryn Riley’s phone” Taron answered “Motherfucker Your Dead, That Bitch will forever be mine” Phil spat venom down the phone before hanging up.  
Eryn saw the change in Taron’s expression. “What?” she asked, “It was nothing” he tried but knew Eryn could see through his thin lie “It was him” he admitted pulling her nearer. “Phil?” she asked but knew the answer. “How the hell is he getting my number?” she said angrily. “I don’t know” he said holding her tight “I’m not scared T, just pissed” she said as he continued to hold her “Yeah, me too. This thing needs sorting out” he answered. She kissed his neck as it was all she could reach from her position. “Screw him, come on let’s have a shower and get ready for Hen, forget that prick” Eryn said moving and pulling Taron toward the bathroom.  
He smiled and followed her.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46  
Henny ran to greet Eryn as soon as she saw the couple coming from the lift. She reddened slightly as she said hello to Taron “So Taron has a meeting at 10pm, But Hen I am all yours tonight” Eryn said. “Well, I know a little place on the Hudson we can eat and then it’s up to you guys what you want to get up to” she said “ If you can keep your clothes on tonight, though that would be a big help” she laughed and haled a taxi to take them to the restaurant.  
The weather was warm and the three sat outside as they ate “So? Where is Rhian” Eryn asked as Henny groaned. Eryn had filled Taron in on the situation with Henny and her wife. Things had been rocky since Henny’s partner Rhian wanted kids and Henny didn’t, but was the only one able to carry a child they’d been in a stalemate. It was how Henny had found the clinic for Eryn. It had been something they’d considered. But Henny was adamant kids were not what she ever wanted. She had been trying to decide what to do ever since. She had moved to New York as much to be with Rhian as for her career and found herself considering returning to the UK.  
She was however often found in denial pretending the bad stuff just didn’t exist. “Hen, you need to sort it out with her, it’s not fair on either of you” Eryn said as Henny rolled her eyes “Babs you know me and conflict, not going there” she admitted. Taron listened but remained a passive observer not feeling he knew Henny enough to comment. “Anyway, have you two decided what’s going to happen next? are you gonna hang out with me or go on with this Good looking one?” she asked changing the topic of conversation. Looking at Taron Eryn answered “ I think you get stuck with me for a bit, I can keep in better contact with the publishers and you can do your maid of honour duties” she finished taking Taron’s hand “I will miss him like mad, but he needs not to be worrying about me” she added and Taron kissed her hand “ I reckon you’ve seen enough of me for a lifetime hen” Taron quipped making the girls groan.  
Eryn’s phone lit up with the publisher’s number, she grabbed it excitedly and hurried away to a quieter spot. “Taron listen now I have you to myself” Henny said “Do me a favour okay and just listen seriously to me” Taron nodded it was not usual for him to see Henny so serious. “Just think about that operation she wants for me, trust me I know how much she wants it and not just because she wants a baby someday, but Taron she feels less of a woman. She wants that back” Taron watched Eryn talking on the phone as he heard what Henny had to say “My wife and I are just ghosts Taron, because we couldn’t compromise and I think you forget that Ren is 10 years older than you, women have a ticking clock babe, one that gets louder the older you get” she pressed her hand on top of his and he turned back to her “ No one expects you to want kids here tomorrow, but even if she goes down this route it’s not gonna happen for a good while. I did my homework; I was going to use the same clinic myself. Not for this but something else”  
Taron saw in Henny’s eyes that she had really been through it. “You know Hen, I’m here for you too” he said and she nodded as she saw Eryn return “So ???” she asked “They want to send over some image ideas, omg am I really doing this?” Eryn asked sipping her drink and resting her head on Taron’s shoulder “Yes you are, and I am so proud of you” he missed her head “Me too you dirty whore” Henny added grinning.  
Taron and Eryn walked hand in hand back to the hotel, taking in the madness of the busy city. “So, I have to get moving I have these drinks” Taron sighed as they reached the hotel. “I think I can manage a little while a part” Eryn teased. Taron pulled her into the foyer and into a more out of the way spot. Kissing her gently “Just in case there are any paps, we have to get used to this kind of hiding” he said Looking at him carefully she knew something was behind this “ I want you to be happy, more than anything babe” he said. “Okay, Mister, spit it out, what’s going on” she asked. “We need to talk about this properly, but I want you to go ahead with the op, if it’s still what you want, need” he said smiling. Eryn looked at him trying to figure out where this came from “Did Henny get to you?” she asked shaking her head “She may have pointed some things out that I hadn’t considered, but I was already thinking the same way anyway, I just want you to think about the privacy, It scares me exposing a child to this stuff” he admitted “Ok, honey you need to go to your meeting” she laughed a little “I’m excited but you’re right we need to talk about this properly” she kissed him on the nose making him wriggle it, going cross eyed. “Ok” he smiled.  
She watched him disappear around the revolving door and headed up to the hotel suite. Pulling open her laptop, she began to type. Using central park as a great backdrop, she sighed as a WhatsApp message popped up from Taron  
<<<<>>> Eryn slammed the laptop shut.  
Opening it again she replied  
<<<<<< You think you fucking scare me you sad pathetic loser, enjoying prison. Bet its great fun, oh don’t bend over motherfucker>>>>>>>  
She quickly forwarded the message to the police and Lyndsay, explaining what had happened. Lyndsay called her straight away “Ok, Taron is with me and I reckon someone’s cloned the phones, it is starting to fuck me off, here’s Taron” she said passing the phone over “Baby are you ok?” he asked sounding concerned and already a bit tipsy “I’m all good okay” she reassured him. “Sure?” he asked not completely convinced. “Taron he only gets a reaction if we let him yeah” she sounded so confident it made him smile “Hell yeah baby” he replied “Ok T slow down on the bourbon please” she added finishing the call. Lifting the laptop, she began a new chapter. A fire in her belly now.  
=========  
Eryn fell asleep at the laptop, she woke when a very drunk Taron practically fell into the room, giggling. Shutting the laptop down, she wandered over to Taron, who was trying to pull off his shoes, but struggling with laughing too much. “My lady, my love hurrah you are here” he shouted. Eryn smiled and helped him, pulling off his shoes and socks. She pulled him to standing, taking some of his weight. He kissed her sloppily on the cheek as she walked him into the bedroom “Jesus T how much did you drink?” she said as a huge waft of booze breath hit her square in the face. Taron mumbled into the duvet. She turned him over and undid his jeans “Oh yeah baby, come see what I have for you” he stumbled over his words. Eryn succeeded in getting his jeans and boxers off as he pulled her to him, kissing her. She laughed and pulled herself free “You are gonna have a great hangover darling” she chuckled as she pulled his top off and pushed him back onto the bed, it took little effort as he was so unbalanced already. She went to the kitchen and poured him a pint glass of cold water, finding her bag she popped out some painkillers and put both on his side table. AS she climbed into bed, she saw he was already sleeping. She tousled his curls and kissed him on the forehead. He reacted shaking his head a little, before falling into a deeper sleep.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47  
“We’re looking for a mind at work…” sang Eryn down the phone Henny joining in the other end. The two were giggling like schoolgirls, chatting about their plans. Taron had just two days left before he had to fly to L.A to continue his promotion. Today was a full one, similar to the first day in Singapore and so Henny was going to move Eryn in ready for when he went. They had planned a ‘Hamilton’ sing a long and were already talking costumes and characters. Arguing over who was more ‘Eliza’ and who was more ‘Angelica’  
Taron groaned as he chugged the pills and water, he found next to him, He shoved the duvet back and Eryn smiled sympathetically at him as he leant on the door frame looking rough. She finished her call to Henny and went over to him, loosely draping her arms around him “You are an idiot, why would get bladdered when you have such an early start?” she shook her head as he pouted. Taking his hand, she led him to the bathroom and turned the shower on. Letting her dressing gown drop to the floor, she stepped backwards under the water.  
Inspired, Taron joined her. His hands moving to her waist. But dropped his head onto her chest feeling fragile. She dropped some shampoo onto his head and using her fingertips she massaged the jelly substance into his scalp. He groaned as her hands got to work on his head. It felt incredible and he felt his headache lessening as she pressed her thumbs into his temple and rotated them. Tipping his head back she used the hose to rinse the suds from the soft curls as her fingers ran through the wet strands. He kept his eyes closed as the water ran over his face and off the back of his head.  
She handed him a face cloth, wiping his face. He opened his eyes pulling her closer to him. She soaped up his chest and massaged the soap into his muscles and down his arms. Turning him, she continued washing from his shoulders and down to his bum, cheekily rubbing the puff soapy from her favourite shower wash, she continued down one and up the other leg, handing him the puff after finishing his stomach. So, he could take over, He was dying to grab her and enjoy her. But he found the intimacy of the experience so intoxicating that he began using the puff on her this time, Eryn lifted the foot leaning her hands against the wall, as he ran the suds up her legs one at a time, he slowly ran it over her bum cheeks and followed with his hand stroking it and humming. “This is going to make me late” he whispered as he ran the puff over her stomach around her back and stopped at her breasts, breathing heavily he softly dripped the suds from the puff on to them. Dropping the puff accidentally on purpose, he rubbed the soap into her breasts, slowly and with intense eye contact.  
He pressed his lips to hers and she returned the kiss. Grabbing the hose at the same time she shot it at Taron, laughing as she rinsed the suds from them both. “Go on out” she directed him “You need to get moving and if we carry on like this you will be VERY late” she laughed. He kissed her again. “God damn best hangover cure ever” he chuckled as he stepped out of the shower and pulled a towel around his waist. He grabbed a hand towel and rubbed his hair. While he brushed his teeth, he watched Eryn washing her hair. Loving the look on her face as she massaged her own scalp and rinsed the suds.  
As she stepped out and grabbed her own towel, she nudged Taron out of her way “I’m starting to see some perks of this new subject matter you’re writing about” he said raising his eyebrows. She winked and walked into the main area “T the Car’s here” she shouted back to him and he rolled his eyes, Speeding up. He kissed Eryn quickly as he an out of the door. “ Shit” he said running back in, “Lyndsay will be getting us new devices, though she thinks only mine was cloned, or whatever, but if you need me call Lyndsay and I will call Henny” he said blowing her a kiss, he returned again a short while after grabbing a bunch of papers he’d forgotten before he finally left properly.  
Eryn threw on a pair of skinny jeans and a pretty shirt, with her pumps. She had to pack her stuff and began chucking her stuff randomly in the case. She was sad to have to stay and let Taron go, even if it was for the best. “Knock, Knock …. I am coming in so get your fucking clothes on” Henny called as she came in. Eryn laughed “He isn’t here” she said “Yeah well I don’t know these days I could walk in on you doing something seriously kinky as inspiration for those books of yours” she said. “You ready?” she smiled, and Eryn nodded. Her friend knew Eryn was feeling blue, Hey I know your gonna miss him, but I will keep you company. I might not be as good in the sack mind you” she grinned raising another smile. Hugging Henny Eryn laughed “I will have to ask Rhian about that?” she said “Fuck off about her Ren” Henny replied.  
Arriving at the loft, Eryn was in her element. It was like a page out of a catalogue. Like all the things the two women had dreamed of having as teenagers. “Hen, you did it, you fucking got it all, our dream” she beamed as she took the place in. Henny dropped Eryn’s bags by a bed in the corner, curtained off and covered in fairy lights. She then put the kettle on and made the pair a coffee. They sat in front of the giant wall of windows, on two plush armchairs as if they were in central park. “So, Hen, what did you say to Taron? He was on about privacy and bringing kids into our lives with all the press BS” she said “I just told him some things he probably had not thought of” she said biting her nails absentmindedly. “Like what?”  
Eryn gave her friend a stern look. “Nothing bad Babs come on. I just told him what I learned about that clinic that I put you onto, may have reminded him of some home truths” she said “Oh Hen, really? He has already so much on his mind” she groaned “No, No, Babs, it really wasn’t that kind of convo, I promise. I just gave him my perspective for him to think about, I don’t want you to end up stuck like me” she sighed “Hen, when are you and Rhian going to decide to deal with it, I can see that you’re miserable. I mean you live separately you barely see each other, what is there left?” Eryn asked as Henny irritated by the direction of the conversation, wriggled in her seat “Eryn I am fucking miserable, but I fucking love her and can’t let go” she said tears in her eyes. Eryn pulled Henny into a hug” I know my sweet, I know, but I want you happy, otherwise what’s the point?” Eryn told her.  
“Well anyway, Did Taron agree to the Op then?” Henny asked trying to take the heat off her. “Shit Henny did you try and change his mind on that?” Eryn groaned. “No, I just reminded him that you’re getting passed your prime and your eggs might be in the freezer but they will go stale soon” she said “Fuck Hen, you didn’t” Eryn cried “ No I didn’t” she laughed at her friends reaction. Eryn looked suspiciously at Henny “I just said babies weren’t the only reason for having the op, that losing your uterus was about losing something more, your identity and stuff” she said. Eryn sighed “Well that’s ok, I guess. It is true”.  
A message came through to Henny’s phone from Taron, checking in on a new number, he would bring her new device with him when he got back to the hotel. The couple would spend the next two nights together at the hotel, and Eryn would see him off at the airport before returning to Henny’s and a big girlie night in. The women spent the afternoon watching ‘Hamilton’ on the Tv and enjoying the time together. But at 8pm, Eryn called a cab and headed to the hotel.  
When she walked in, she immediately felt something was wrong. She switched all of the lights on and walked into the bedroom. There sat on the end of the bed was Phil.  
Eryn took a step back and swallowed hard “How did you get in?” she spat, her body was trembling, but she refused to let it show. Phil’s head was down and when he looked up, he looked thin, his face and neck were badly bruised, and his eyes were bloodshot. “Said I was a mate of your little actor friend” he said “What are you doing here Phil? How are you out of prison? What the fuck do you want?” Eryn shouted. She hated that she didn’t have a phone to hand, her panic button worked in the UK only and she was expecting Taron at any moment.  
“What do you think I want Eryn?” Phil wasn’t aggressive, he sounded broken in fact. But Eryn had fallen for all his tricks before and didn’t let her guard down. “Why won’t you talk to me Eryn? You know how I get when you act like that” he said. “Phil, are you serious? After what you did to me? I don’t want you with 100 miles of me” she said. Anger flashed across Phil’s eyes and he stood punching a hole into the stud wall between the bedroom and the main area.  
“Is that meant to scare me?” Eryn said finding a strength in her “Damn Phil you are pathetic” she groaned. “What did you think was going to happen, you would come here, and I would fall into your arms?” she continued despite seeing the anger rise in him again. “Phil, you can do whatever you fucking want to me, but you will never have me, you had me for all those years and you threw it all away, you turned what we had toxic and it doesn’t matter what you do, you cannot make me feel for you what I don’t. I love Taron and I am marrying in him and I am going to be happy”  
Phil grabbed Eryn by the throat pinning her to the wall. He was so close to her face that she felt splatters of spit hitting her face he growled as he spoke. “You are mine Eryn, not his” Eryn reached up and held his wrist, yanking it from her throat she pressed her palms against his shoulders and pushed him, her full weight behind her. “Get your fucking hands off me” she roared. He toppled backward his legs hitting the coffee table and fell onto his back, smashing the table. He looked shocked, getting up blood dripped from his hand.  
Starring at her, he turned and stalked out of the suite. Eryn stood looking at the broken table, her breathing heavy as she took in all that had just happened. A noise in the doorway made her jump, a member of security and two other senior managers were making their way over to her. One already calling 911. It was like a film was being played in front of her as she was asked about what happened, the manager had seen things unfolding on CCTV and had got security and up to the suite as soon as he could. A female manager sat Eryn down and handed her a brandy as she sat on an armchair.  
Eryn was in a daze when Taron arrived at the suite. He looked immediately for her and his heart beat hard when he saw her sat talking to the manageress. He ran to her and grabbed her, holding her “What happened? Are you ok?” he asked panicked. The police now arrived and began to move everyone out. The manager quickly took Eryn and Taron to another suite and brought them food and drinks. Eryn was still in shock and struggled to explain the details of what happened. But did her best. The police took her clothes and fingerprints for both her and Taron. She was asked to attend the precinct in the morning to give a full statement.  
Finally, the couple were left alone. Eryn curled up into Taron “I should have been there” Taron said quietly “Again, he could have taken you and…” he mumbled. Eryn turned toward Taron and crossed her legs. Raising his face, she kissed him lightly. “Taron he’s gone, and he is not coming back” she said. He looked at her “How do you know that? He asked “Because I fought back, Taron I wasn’t scared of him. You didn’t see his face. He knew he was done” she said.  
He placed a hand on her cheek, “You did? You fought back? Baby that’s amazing, you must have been so scared?” he said she nodded, tears running down her face, she crumbled into him. “I was bloody terrified” she sobbed. Taron held her and rocked her. “But Taron if you had been there, I know he would have hurt us both. I’m so glad you weren’t there” she admitted “I know that this is where you want to save me T” she trailed off “ I do, but if this means we are finally seeing the back of that fucking cunt, then I’m glad” he agreed “I’m learning that you can handle yourself, I mean I saw that table babe” he chuckled little.  
She smiled, “I just got so fucking angry Taron, at all that he had done” she said and smiling at Taron she stroked his cheek. “and you have given me so much love and support babe, I’m so strong and have so much confidence because of how much my life has changed since you flipping came into it, I wasn’t having it anymore” she smiled, feel proud of herself and amazed at how much had changed. She rested against him and exhaled. “I am going to miss you when you go” she breathed “me too” he said kissing her.  
“How about you make yourself busy, with the injection protocol preparation for that op” he suggested “Taron… I told Henny off for that, she shouldn’t have pressured you” Eryn scowled. But Taron smiled “No she didn’t, she did give me a few things to think about” he replied “If this journey is going to be a long one, then let’s get started on it. That way between the dirty books, the clinic appointment, wedding planning and coping with living with Henny every day you have enough to keep you busy while I’m away. Then when I am done, I will be making an honest woman of you, Ms Riley” he said, “Are you really sure?” she said. He nodded and she kissed him excitedly “Omg Taron” she sighed “ Eryn you know what, I am so glad that you chose to come to Aber on holiday” he sighed “ How long ago does that feel like” she smiled “Oh shit Taron, it’s a year” she gasped “ it was a year last week” he laughed. “How did we forget an anniversary like that?” she cried “When did you realise and why didn’t you tell me?” she playfully slapped him. “Honestly, about an hour ago, when I saw the date on that police folder” he grimaced “well look us a great pair of romantics we are” Eryn smiled. “Hey at least neither of us remembered, imagine if one had and the other hadn’t, we can’t get cross at each other” Taron added. “True” Eryn agreed “Damn it though, we need to do something to celebrate” she tutted “Leave that with me” he said mischievously.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48  
The next morning Eryn woke to the hotel room filled with pick stargazer lilies. Her favourite, she laughed as she saw amongst them helium balloons reading happy anniversary. Moving to get up she saw a post it note on the mirror in the bathroom, it read “be ready 6pm” she smiled and wondered what on earth Taron had planned for them. It was after all his last night in New York. She milled around for a bit, before getting dressed. She needed to get down to the police precinct to file her statement. She sat on the end of the bed as she got dressed and thought about the previous night and Phil.  
Even she had shocked herself at how she had dealt with him. It filled her heart with pride, and it had her reflecting on how far she had come. She rang Henny “Baby I’m right outside” she said, “Eryn opened the door and Henny bundled into her “Did you think I’d leave you to do the police thing alone?” she asked holding her friend tight. They chatted on the bed, Eryn filled her in on the night before and Henny sat back for a moment. “Damn Eryn, you are incredible. Babs, I mean, you know what I don’t want to take anything from you. But you have come so far, I am glad you are marrying that man of yours because… he and you are one hell of a power couple” she said hugging her again.  
The time at the police station was unpleasant to say the least. But Eryn found out that without forewarning, Phil had been given day release for his mother’s funeral. He had disappeared. So far this was all that they knew, and Eryn grew angry. “How was it that a criminal from the UK could find her, could get into the country for one and attack her? She left feeling frustrated at the apologies and lack of answers.  
Eryn and Henny headed to a café, over coffee and cake Eryn calmed down about it all and let Henny move her onto the subject of her anniversary. “I have no idea what he has planned Ren, he wouldn’t tell me anyway” she said as they separated by the hotel lobby. As Eryn reached the door to the suite, she saw a small square of paper attached. Reading the post-it she smiled curiously “Dress warm” it read. Pushing the door, she walked into the bedroom. She pulled on a pair of indigo jeggings and a pretty pink and white floaty blouse. Her pink glitter pumps. Grabbing her bomber jacket, she checked her make-up and smiled as she saw the brand-new phone sat on the dressing table, a pink note attached. “for you x” it read.  
Turning on the device the wallpaper was of a post it that said “Wait for it” she put it down confused as she ran her lip gloss across her lips. The Phone began to buzz. Looking at it the alarm was sounding “Time for Taron” it was labelled, and Eryn laughed. She walked to the door and looked out, no sign of Taron. She decided to lock up and see if he was waiting downstairs. As she stepped into the lift, she noticed a folded piece of paper Sellotape to the mirror. It had a big E and an x on it. Pulling it off the mirror she opened it “Well done you got this far x” Eryn laughed but was getting more nervous the longer this treasure hunt continued.  
As the doors opened, she saw Henny smiling at her from the foyer and walked over, she handed Eryn another piece of paper. This one was heart shaped and on it read Get in the taxi. Before Eryn could ask Henny anything, she placed a finger to her lip and shrugged. As she walked out of the revolving door the driver handed her a single pink paper rose with a white ribbon tied around its stem. He opened the door and Eryn climbed in. On the seat was a heart shaped box of chocolates and yet another note. “Relax xxx” it said.  
Eryn looked at the chocolates and her rose and grinned. Her cheeks already hurt. She was unfamiliar with New York so couldn’t even guess where she was headed. But when they stopped abruptly, she was a little confused. She climbed out and as it seemed Taron had paid the fare too; she was left confused until she saw a string of hearts tie to a gate at the entrance to Central Park. She walked over to them on each of the little paper hearts was a different word, the string read “Not much further, follow the lights” she looked up and saw a trail of electric candles, flickering a path into the park. Why was it so hard to breathe? She shook herself. Reminding herself to hold it together and walked along the line of candles when he came into sight.  
Stood in a beautiful beige suit with a pink shirt and white tie, was Taron. He was grinning and holding the last candle in the line. It was all Eryn could do not to rush at him and burst into tears. Taron too had a hard time staying put and letting her come to him. “Worst game of hide and seek ever” she quipped. “Ahh I knew you would find me” he said softly hiding the wobble in his voice. Taron took her hand led her a little further off the main path to a quieter spot where he had a picnic laid out surrounded by millions more candles. “Glad these are fakes T; you could start a forest fire” Eryn whispered. On the ground were a bunch of cushions and pillows to make it more comfortable.  
Right next to where this was laid out was one of central Parks secret waterfalls and Eryn loved to hear the sound of the water. She wrapped her arms around Taron’s neck and kissed him, unbalancing him a little he stumble back a step laughing as he held her tighter. “Did I do good?” he asked moving a little bit so he could look at her comfortably. “Yes” she breathed. “Even without all of this” the atmosphere was perfectly romantic as the sun was setting and the twinkling lights of the park lit up.  
“You got the rose and chocolates then?” he said pleased looking in her hand “First year is…” he began “paper” she nodded finishing his sentence. He sat and helped her to do so too. He poured her some pink champagne, and as she sipped, she pulled a white package from her bag, it had a small pink bow on it, and she handed to Taron. “I googled the paper thing too” she said “He carefully pulled the paper off, looking at it he saw the cover had a picture of the pair on top of Conti Hill in Aber. He smiled looking carefully at the book, he saw it was fully and professionally bound. The Authors name in silver embossed writing read Eryn Riley as he turned the page, The Title “Stillness in my heart” gave little away. As he opened the first page, he read the dedication and bit his lip.  
This is the only one of these you will find on earth,  
Like you  
the words within this book are unique and rare  
as are you  
These were the inspirations you created and  
Now they are yours to keep  
Like me  
Turning the pages, he saw all of the poems, Eryn had written in Aber when she first arrived. There were a few pieces of prose and a note she had written to him. They were illustrated with images Eryn had taken whilst she was there and included some of the group on the beach and in the cafes of the town. He took his time and looked at each page with happy tears growing heavy in his eyes. “Ok please say something now, you’re killing me over here” Eryn suddenly said breaking the silence.  
“Sorry” he said taking her cheek he kissed her, resting his forehead on hers for moment “This is so wonderful Eryn, I’m … well gutted” he coughed “How am I meant to top this” he joked. Though he was smiling and joking, the importance and power of the gift wasn’t lost on Eryn and she saw it in his eyes as the moonlight that had begun now to shine twinkled in them. Taron reached into his pocket and handed Eryn a small turquoise box, it looked like that of a familiar jeweller, but Eryn shrugged the idea away.  
Opening the box, inside was a silver necklace laid in a darker blue chiffon. Hanging from the chain was a small silver conch shell. which held a tiny blue/green stone. “I know it’s not paper but I saw it and thought of you” he said quietly. She touched it lightly with her finger as if it might be a trick of the light. “Yep know how you felt now when I took my time to answer” he lightly chuckled. “Shall I put it on?” he asked. Eryn nodded and he lifted the delicate chain from the box and laid it around her neck, she held it in place barely able to touch it as he clicked the connector shut and it fell into place.  
Kissing her on the cheek, she moved so she could get access to his lips as they touched together softly and with such love, the pair felt giddy. It was sometime before they separated and began to nibble on the food Taron had laid out, drinking the champagne and laid in each other’s arms. They chatted and listened to music playing from Taron’s phone. This was heaven Eryn thought, she couldn’t stop herself touching the necklace every now and again and it made Taron smile.  
She knew it was from Tiffany, it had to be and that meant it was a lot of money, more than she could ever imagine. She had had such luxury the last little while, she found herself feeling guilty. She had never found it easy to accept gifts, preferring to give. It was all part of having no self-esteem she knew. But this necklace, this was worth so much more than money. She told her guilty mind off inside and looked at Taron, his eyes dropping from the early start and late night the previous one. “come on let’s head back” she said tapping his shoulder as she helped him pack up. “Leave it here, I have someone on clear up duty” he said, and Eryn saw Henny and Lyndsay a way off with gloves and bin bags.  
He took her hand and began walking her back to the hotel. Soaking up the city atmosphere as they walked. Eryn squeezed Taron’s hand a couple of times as she enjoyed the feeling that enveloped her. He too couldn’t stop grinning and loved the way Eryn looked like the city lights framed her face and smile. Something was lighter about how she moved, and he realised he too felt it. As the coasted through the foyer and up to the suite. Eryn felt like her feet were off the ground and she was literally dancing all the way.  
Waking into the suite the pair forgot about the dozens and dozens of lilies littering the room. “Damn Taron, it was spectacularly romantic and looks epic, but what the hell are we going to do with a room full of lilies when you fly out tomorrow first thing and I’m checking into Chez Henny” she reprimanded him playfully. “Yeah didn’t think about that” he said scratching his head comically. “They are beautiful” Eryn sighed dropping onto the bed as Taron undid his top buttons and laid his jacket on a chair. He crawled over to Eryn and lay on her chest. Eryn’s fingers moving straight into his hair making him release a satisfied moan.  
“It is just 8 weeks” Eryn said “Thinking out loud again babe” he said giggling “Yeah, sorry… but still” she pouted. “we have plenty to keep us busy and anyway, you have 6 weeks of injections and you know I’m a baby around needles” he cringed “Would you faint if I brought a needle out lol” Eryn laughed “ Yes probably, so don’t” he said seriously. “Then the operation” she said “Yes and I will be here for that” he said looking up at her reassuringly “Then off again” she reminded him “ Probably a good thing, after all how long did it say no sex for before and after the procedure” he said making her laugh “ 6 either side” she answered “8 if possible after to be certain” she added “Certain of what?” He frowned “Of the body seeing the egg as a foreign body making it reject everything” she said.  
“And you are sure, sure, about all this?” he asked looking concerned. Smoothing his forehead, he pulled a face “I am sure Taron” she said firmly, and he nodded. He bent over and kissed her stomach. “One day there will be my daughter or son in there” he said “weird” he sighed Eryn continued to scratch Taron’s head and tousle his hair as he fell asleep “I really hope so” she breathed  
“For fucks sake Eryn, are you like this every time?” Henny asked her friend as she buried her head in the pillow and cried. “You are such a fucking baby” Henny moaned. “Give me a break, I don’t usually have someone see me acting like this” Eryn admitted “ And yes I do, that’s why I begged to go with him, I just miss him already” she sulked “I give myself a 24 grump, then usually I am good” she admitted “Don’t tell Taron” she added Henny Laughed “I get it, you love the guy, I have just never seen you THIS fucking nuts after saying goodbye” she laughed again. “You need a distraction” Henny said. “Like what, I can’t drink I have the first injection tomorrow” she said.  
“Ok so how about musical madness, I literally have all the classic’s …hmmm Oooh Les Mis might be about right” Eryn threw a pillow at Henny who simply stuck out her tongue “Little shop joseph, Chicago… all that jazz would be good for your book” she asked “ Go on stick Little shop on” Eryn said laying on the bed on her stomach her feet in the air “Quit checking the fucking phone too” Henny moaned “It’s been like an hour since you left him at the gate, they will barely have got in the fucking air” Eryn knew she was being daft, but she needed time to act like a teenager and be a pain in the arse over missing Taron. Despite it being the right thing, she just wanted him next to her constantly and it felt like a limb was missing when he was away.  
Still she was glad she was with Henny; her best friend always knew how to cheer her up. As she finished setting the Tv up Henny joined Eryn on the bed and plopped a white envelope onto her lap. “What’s this?” Eryn asked pulling the letter out of the already opened envelope. “Divorce, shit you are doing it?” Eryn hugged her friend tight. “Hen why didn’t you say? When did you decide this?” Henny hung her head “Well fuck , I thought if you can fight off that motherfucker then I can be brave and give myself a chance of a future” she groaned as Eryn made a fuss of her, hugging her and cheering her. “Man, I know I should be sad and consoling you, but god you need this” said Eryn “ Well yeah hang on, so might you, listen” said Henny becoming unusually serious “ I went to Rhian and told her what I am gonna tell you, I knew she wouldn’t like it and I knew I had to end it legally, to do it” she continued “Henny what are you going on about” “Eryn I don’t want you to have this op as your only choice, If you need it you can Rent my fucking womb, ok” she was tearing up as she spoke.  
Eryn nearly fell of the bed “What??” she said grabbing her friend she pulled her back toward her and held her tight. “Say that again” Eryn asked “I said if this shit doesn’t work, I wanna offer to be a surrogate” she said “But Henny you” Eryn was gobsmacked. Henny had never been maternal, and it had been the whole reason her marriage ended. “I’m not an idiot Ren, I get what you’re thinking, and I’m not a fucking idiot, I know I have to put up with all the Prego crap and give birth and the whole thing, but Eryn if you needed a fucking Kidney or lung or whatever, I’d give you mine in an instant so if you need it it’s on offer and that offer isn’t a limited time one, you can let go maybe of some pressure over this operation succeeding too, don’t answer now, you have to talk to the golden boy, but I need to be divorced to do it or Rhian would technically be a parent or some bullshit” Eryn was crying floods now and just holding Henny as she talked.  
“Let go you Lezzy” Henny said playfully Kissing Eryn on the head, look he’s buying Audrey two” She changed the subject and Eryn knew this was tough Henny’s way of avoiding the slushy sentiments. But they watched the rest of the film in a hug and spent the evening singing along to some of Sondheim’s best.  



	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49  
“Up Up fucking Up you lazy arse” Henny called from the kitchen, she was shovelling toast into her mouth as well as coffee at the same time. “Hen, I don’t have to be at the clinic until 10am and its bloody 7am now” Eryn groaned turning her head away from the insane amount of light pouring in from Henny’s glass wall. “If I don’t get you up now bird, then you will just oversleep” she said sponging her blouse down, as she had already spilt coffee on it. “Hen I know that you’re excited, but it’s just a jab” Eryn smiled. Though to be honest she was over excited massively too, only she was scared too. She was so grateful for Henny’ offer to be their surrogate, but this was her chance to carry her own baby.  
Once Henny had left for work, Eryn showered and dressed. She sat down at the laptop and re read the chapters that she had finished to inspire her next section. She had hit a brick wall for now, with Taron away and her brain on babies it was hard to think sexy. She picked up her new phone and scrolled through the pictures she has on it of the anniversary. It was less than 24 hours and she missed him like crazy. Just as the thoughts left her head a text popped up from Taron reading her mind  
<<<<<<< Missing you>>>>>>> was all it read, so she replied  
<<<<<<< Who is this?>>>>>>  
<<<<<< Hardy har har>>>>>>> came the reply  
<<<<<<< Miss you too babe, love you welsh boi now get to work >>>> she sent back  
<<<<< Ok, enjoy your little prick later>>>>  
<<<<<< Are you coming round then? And babe it’s not that little >>>>  
<<<<<< Quite the joker today aren’t you Riley xxxx Love you too gtg xxxx>>>> he finished.  
Eryn sighed, why were things so much more complicated than the movies she thought. growing up in the 80’s and all the romance films with happy endings, that had set her up believing what love was like. She had felt tricked as a younger woman. As she sat and mused about how it could be to miss someone so much and want to be with them all the time, but then when you did exactly that it didn’t work. She nibbled at her pancakes that she had called out for.  
She began to type the cliché love scenes and situations in a list. But her mind went to the flight from Singapore and soon her head was down and fingers tapping away. She had made a promise to Taron that he would get to see what she had written before it was published. Knowing he was more or less ‘Bronson’ and Eryn ‘Adaline’ it was only fair Eryn thought that he had the chance to Vito anything and as she typed, she knew this particular chapter most definitely needed his seal of approval.  
Before she knew it, the time to leave was upon her and she headed downtown by cab to the doctor’s office. “Just a jab, just a fucking jab” she reminded herself. Doing all she could to forget anything about babies and the future. But her knee was bobbing up and down as she flicked through the magazine. It was then that her phone vibrated, she looked around embarrassed and looked at the screen “Freaking out??” Taron asked “Damn your voodoo Taron and yes” Eryn replied. To her surprise Taron began to sing, it was one of the beautiful welsh hymns she was so in awe over and sat listening quietly as he sang to her, her heart swelled and breathing caught for a moment before releasing and calming her whole body.  
As he finished the song Eryn was called in, she placed Taron on speaker and explained to the doctor who he was and asked permission for him to listen in. Dr Hanuk smiled and though it was unusual, she was more than happy to have her patient receive the support she clearly needed and for Taron to be involved even at this early stage.  
Eryn felt daft as she walked out of the office, with the next 6 weeks of injections to complete at home. She had been in the office for 15 minutes in all. Dr Hanuk explaining the procedure in full once more and then demonstrating how to complete the injection, supervising Eryn as she did so. Taron was glad not to be on video call, just hearing about the needle made him queasy. But he continued the call with Eryn taking him off speaker as she walked back to the apartment.  
“So how do feel? Any different?” he asked “Taron seriously no, just a touch sore on my arse cheek” she laughed. “How’s it going there?” she asked and heard him stretch audibly “Boring as hell” he answered “ Photoshoot today, takes so ruddy long to get to the damn picture taking and that’s not exactly the most fun in the world, then clothing change and hang about again” he complained “ How about I send you the pages I wrote this morning? “she offered “Ooh yes please” he added but then groaned “Or is it gonna just make me want you and get frustrated” he said, “You are proper grumpy today, aren’t you?” Eryn asked feeling his pain, but not letting him know “Yup” he replied playing up to the sulky baby routine. “Tell me what I can do to cheer you up?” she offered  
“Come here and I can show you” he whinged “Wish I could baby, are you changing your mind about me not coming with you? She asked finally getting in the front door, she dropped her bags on the bed and pulled a jug of peach iced tea from the fridge. “I know we made the right decision; I do. But why does it have to be so hard doing what’s right?” he whined “I know baby, I do… okay listen how about once you are done, we can maybe have us some ‘virtual’ fun” Eryn smiled and sipped her tea. She heard him being called in the background. He groaned and sighed heavily “That sounds like a plan” he said finally “Now cheer the hell up Welsh boi, I’ll send you the pages and they can give you some inspiration for later ok?” Taron nodded then remembered it was a voice call. “Love you baby, I gotta go” he said “Love you too, go give them that welsh blue steel” she heard him chuckle as they hung up.  
=======  
“Thank God this is last one, if I never see your bare arse cheek again, it will be great” Henny laughed as she gave Eryn her very last shot. It quickly became their routine after Eryn found it impossible to do them herself and reach the area she needed to. “ I have to admit, I’m pretty glad these are done with now too Hen” Eryn admitted “ Not only are these done with, your man’s coming back” Henny chuckled as Eryn tried to fist pump, but fell on her face, bursting into laughter, Henny dropped down next to her.  
She pulled up her underwear and jeans and turned to Henny. Who looked at her friend “I know what you are thinking?” Henny said Eryn looked at her sadly. “This is the bigger step Ren, I know. But that’s all it is, one more step and I will be here as well as the boy wonder and when he goes back out to work” Henny said, “What if after all of this it doesn’t work?” Eryn replied “ Babs, I think what you are truly worried about is, what if it does? Am I right?” she said getting up and clicking the kettle. She put a teabag in two cups and added the sugar both of them wanted. “You’re right Hen, what if I’ve pushed Taron into this?” Eryn asked her eyes dropping to her lap. “Babs maybe you need to ask him, I mean this Op is about getting your ‘woman’ back too or so you said, if its not and really it is ALL about having a baby, then you need to be honest with yourself and Taron” Henny told her “ You have to be honest with yourself” she added. “It’s like 90% baby and 10% woman if I am being honest” Eryn admitted. “But what if I tell Taron that and he feels like a tricked him?” She sighed “You pair are worse than Rhian and I were, you need to fucking talk” Henny told her and Eryn new her friend was right. “So, I think I will make myself scarce tonight, let you and the Welsh wonder have some space”  
Henny offered “Really? I can’t let you do that Hen, it’s bad enough that you’ve had to put up with me invading your place for months on end, anyway Taron will have been given a hotel, I was going to stay there tonight an give you space” Eryn replied. “You can shut the fuck up already about invading my fucking space, Babs you know that’s completely ridiculous right!” Henny laughed and took a glug of tea. “It’s up to you, you can stay here and Taron too or use the hotel, I’m good either way, but you wanna get spruced up to meet him, then you better move it look at the time” Henny said pointing at her wall clock.  
Eryn jumped in the shower and washed her hair; the pink had washed out and it was now her usual blonde. She dried herself off and straightened the blonde strands into a cute, straight, bob. Pulling on a pair of mustard coloured tights with the plaited pattern and matching peter pan collared top, with a denim dungaree dress, she then pushed her feet into her knee-high boots and threw on her winter coat. Autumn was cold in New York; it was stunningly beautiful with the multicoloured leaves all around. It was by far Eryn’s favourite season and she loved how the weather was perfect to be cosy and warm. Not cold and bleak like Winter, Bare and wet like spring, or hot and sweaty like summer.  
She walked to arrivals and saw Lyndsay was stood close to the barrier. Waving to her she smiled as Eryn made her way over. “I’m such an idiot I ought to have messaged you, of course you’d be here” she answered giving Eryn a hug “ It’s all good Lyndsay, don’t worry” Eryn smiled “ I even booked the hotel and made sure they knew its for two people” she shook her head. “It’s all good I’m here now and so is Taron” Eryn said excitedly running over and wrapping her arms around his neck. Lyndsay followed suit and took his trolley for him as the pair kissed and embraced for a time, before separating a little and holding hands as they walked.  
Eryn squeezed Taron’s hand and enjoyed his scent wafting over her as they walked, and Lyndsay gave him the information he needed for the next stage of his promo tour. He had the next two weeks off, so he could be with Eryn and concentrate on something other than work. Seeing the pair into a cab, Lyndsay hugged each one goodbye and good luck to them for the operation. Taron had asked for a less ostentatious place to stay this time around and they pulled up to a sweet boutique hotel a little out of the way.  
In the back of the cab, Taron pulled Eryn to him and relaxed as she snuggled into him. “I have missed you so damn much” he exhaled as he spoke. “me too Babe, me too” Eryn replied kissing him on the neck. Turning into her he closed his eyes as she pressed kiss after kiss onto his lightly tanned neck, whimpering a little as she moved toward his lips and finally feeling them pressing against hers with that heat and pressure that she has missed terrifically. He tasted of the mint chewing gum he’d used to cover the cigarette smell. Her hands held his cheeks softly “When are you going to quit those bloody cancer sticks welsh boi” she said delighting in falling into his eyes as he pouted. Taron had little opportunity to answer as they arrived at the hotel and headed inside.  
Once settled in their room though, Eryn decided it was something she was not going to let slide this time. “You have such a stunning voice baby, why would you risk wrecking all that” she said as he unpacked “Are we on about the fags again?” he groaned rolling his eyes, he knew it was a shitty habit, he hated being told about it though. Being nagged and Eryn did her best to avoid that particular subject usually. She didn’t want a row, but as the subject had come up, she decided to go with it. She stopped him from what he was doing and held him by his upper arms “ I’m not going to nag you, but I love you, I hate them and what they do to your body baby” she said kissing him gently, he closed his eyes.  
Nodding at her, “I will try again” he said softly. Eryn knew that he had tried to give them up a number of times and failed, they helped his stress and when he was anxious, she could see his consumption increase. She hated that too, but knew it was why he struggled and not just because physically his body was addicted. It was another form of self-harm, a socially accepted form of course, but she understood the reality of giving up something that intellectually you knew you should, but realistically you needed so bad.  
Taron kissed her “I know you’re just looking out for me” he said. “Then I will shut up” she replied making him smile. “I would love to kiss you and not taste ash” she laughed as he pulled a face “I taste of ash? Eugh” he grimaced. “You taste amazing, but with a tinge of ash” Eryn tried to make it sound better, but she could see Taron was unconvinced. He smiled at her, soaking up her face and the features he had missed seeing. Scooping her up, “ What are you doing?” she squealed as he carried her over to the bed and dropped her lightly on it, hovering above her he leant down and kissed her “You know what you taste like?” he smiled.  
Eryn shook her head “peach iced tea” he laughed “ah hah that’s Henny’s special blend” she laughed. Kissing him again, she pulled him down so his weight was pressing on her “It has been too long since I felt this body on mine” she said as her hands ran under his t-shirt. He grinned closing his eyes and revelling in her touch. He knew exactly what she meant, his hands copying hers as he lifted her skirt, and pulled on the waistband of her tights.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50  
As he lay with her in his arms, he knew she wasn’t asleep despite the lateness of the hour. “Are you going to tell me what’s keeping you awake?” he asked quietly She sighed contentedly “I promised Henny I would talk to you about tomorrow” she turned to look at him. “Well if you promised Hen” he smiled  
“Are you sure that you’re happy with what we are doing?” she said meekly almost curling up protectively in case the answer wasn’t what she hoped. “You know…” he said “ I have been thinking about it all, while we were apart” he added “ Baby of course, I am happy with what we are doing, I promise I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t, but I don’t want it to define us as a couple” he said “ Baby I am terrified that if it doesn’t happen for us, for whatever reason. It is going to kill us, our love for each other I dunno” he trailed off. Eryn kissed him smiling “I feel the exact same way” she admitted. “So, we have to make sure we don’t let it ok?” she stroked his neck and traced a pattern in his chest hair. “How are you feeling about the operation?” Taron asked “Nervous and excited” she said “nervacited” he asked laughing “totally nervacited” she laughed “Me too” he admitted.  
“I’m actually looking forward to bossing you about this next week or so” he grinned cheekily “You’re going to boss me around?” she asked. “Yes I am indeed, you will do what I say for the next two weeks” he grinned “But you have to be nice, look after me” she pouted, he stroked her cheek “ I will always look after you” he promised kissing her gently.  
The time seemed to go so quick, before they knew it, it was time to go to the hospital. The taxi ride to the private hospital was silent. But Eryn snuggled onto to Taron’s shoulder as she watched the streets pass by. Taron squeezed her shoulder every now and then, but both welcomed the quiet as their thoughts overtook them.  
Arriving at the clinic Taron carried Eryn’s holdall over his shoulder and with the other hand he took hers. Smiling they walked to reception and Eryn gave her name. They were led down a corridor and into a room unlike any hospital room Eryn had encountered. It looked more like the suite at the four seasons. She walked over to the window and saw it had views of the bridge and statue of liberty “Taron come here” she called and he walked up to the window, wrapping his arms around her waist “ Not a bad view, while to recuperate” he smiled.  
Eryn could feel his nerves and looked at his hands, he had bitten every nail down she noticed. Right now, would be when he would nip out for a cigarette. She squeezed his hands “I’m proud of you that’s 12hours” she said “Yeah, I know” he said a little snippy. Eryn turned to face him “I didn’t mean to sound like I was taking the piss babe, I know how difficult it is, even more so at the start, you doing well, even if your fingernails are paying the price” she said looking at him. He apologised “Sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to snipe at you”. “I just don’t like this bit Ren, the whole operation things a risk, maybe a small one but still” he said slowly.  
Eryn squeezed Taron, “I know, but It’s going to be just fine, and, in a few hours, I will be back with you and we can watch movies and have pizza and beer on the sofa. Just the two of us for two whole weeks” she grinned “Yeah, that bit sounds good” He agreed as a troupe of doctors led by Dr Hanuk came in. Checks and paperwork done, Eryn slipped on her gown in the bathroom and stopped, looking at her stomach in the mirror. She made a wish in her head for it all to go well. She lay her hand flat against her belly and imagined it swollen, a baby growing inside. It almost had her in tears and she knew she was getting ahead of herself. Walking back into the room, she took hold of Taron’ hand as the walked the short distance to the theatre. Eryn kissed Taron as she reached the door, he was unable to go further with her. He squeezed her so hard, it worried her a little. “Come back to me” he whispered, his voice wobbly. “Back before you know it” she said walking through the door.  
It was Henny’s voice Eryn heard, but Taron was holding her hand so tightly. It was him she felt first as she woke. “There she is good old sleeping beauty” Henny cried seeing Eryn’s eyes flicker open. “Ouch Taron” she groaned, and Taron realised how hard he was squeezing. “Shit, sorry, honey, how are you? Are you ok? Are you in any pain? He asked. “Damn it! Taron, you are a proper old woman, give the girl some space” Henny laughed. “I’m ok baby, tired and sore, what did they say?” she asked “You’re a new woman Eryn, that’s what they said babe” Henny replied. Eryn managed a small smile. “Right well now you are awake, I will leave you two alone. I doubt I will see you two before Taron heads off again and I take my shift starts again” she said kissing her friend on the cheek, before she hugged Taron and left.  
Eryn looked at Taron, his face set in a worried scowl. She used her fingers as she always did and smoothed his forehead. “Don’t look so worried, it’s all done now” she said moving her hand to lay on his cheek. He closed his eyes and leant into her hand “I just want to get you home and healed” he said returning her smile. “Now you sure you are comfy” he asked. She nodded “but I wouldn’t say no to a cwtch?” Taron laughed lightly and told her not to move as he found enough space to lay next to her, his arms around her. He closed his eyes, able to relax now, at least for the time being.  
For all it’s luxury, the hospital was not home. Neither was the hotel and despite having once wondered if she could feel at home in the place in London. Eryn yearned for the cosy Aber flat and wished she were there, able to listen to the ocean waves outside the window and watch the stunning sunsets. Taron was putting his best effort in to make the hotel a cosy enough place to recuperate for the forthcoming fortnight though and she lay in the plush sheets, wrapped in a fluffy pink blanket wearing a pink cotton nightdress. She was propped up on a dozen pillows and surrounded by a dozen more.  
She had a tray table that could be placed across the bed, to prevent her moving too much. The only time she should be out of bed was to use to toilet or for her daily exercise she had been given by the clinic. Taron turned into her own personal trainer, making sure she religiously kept to the regime. “Here” he said handing her a massive pink, glittery present bag smiling “I thought this would give you something to cwtch with when I have to go back to work, he said. Pulling out a gorgeous fluffy Kangaroo plush with a miniature roo in its pouch. She crumbled at the sigh of it.  
They had been warned about the fluctuation in hormones that were a typical side effect from the procedure and a sign it was succeeding. But so far, the only affect it seemed to have was that Eryn cried constantly and over literally nothing. Taron laughed and pulled her into a hug “Again” he cried squeezing her. She nodded “Fucking hormones, baby it is adorable, thank you, can you spray some of your aftershave on it for me too” she grinned. As he let go and took the bottle, he’d used that morning, spritzing a couple of sprays over the toy.  
He crawled back onto the bed and behind Eryn. “What do you want to do?” he asked, resting his chin on her shoulder. It was a prefect cuddling weather, the ran was pouring down the window and hadn’t stopped all day. Taron lifted the throw and wriggled under it. Joining Eryn, he laid his hand about the dressing on her stomach. She was typing on her laptop and he read it along with her.  
“Glasses” she scolded him, and he groaned reaching to the side table he slipped his specs on and grabbed his book. Returning to his spot he began to read as she typed. “What are your thoughts on sex toys?” Eryn said causing Taron to laugh loudly “Right ehem” he said reddening “you just throw that out there” he said “Sorry” she chuckled “I didn’t lead up to that out loud did I?” she smiled “ No” he shook his head “I haven’t really thought about them to be honest, never used any” he admitted “ I always thought of them as a girls thing or a gay thing I suppose” he added “ Quite the traditionalist aren’t you welsh boi” she cheeked him  
“No, just never thought about them, why what are you doing to Bronson now?” he asked suspicious. But Eryn simply smiled and tapped her nose. “Well we have 6-8 weeks before we can try any out” Eryn mused out loud. Taron looked at her his eyebrows raised “So just so I know, am I going to be your guinea pig from now on for anything you fancy doing to Bronson? Not saying I mind” he raised both eyebrows cheekily “Really? good to know” she replied “But just how kinky are we talking here” he asked.  
Eryn’s face slumped “well considering how much it hurts just to feel turned on right now, don’t be worrying for a long while about anything remotely adventurous”. He looked at her disappointed face as she shut down the laptop and gave up for the day. “Even writing about it bloody hurts” she admitted as Taron took the laptop for her and put it away. He laid his book down and pulled her in for a cwtch. Stroking the top of her arm, he kissed her lightly. “Is it really that bad?” he asked concerned “It’s not agony, but just like you get hard when your turned on, so my body reacts when I do, imagine your dick was sliced up and then you got hard” Taron grimaced and shut his legs tight “Nice image thanks” he recoiled. “Sorry” she replied.  
“I will try not to turn you on, how about that?” Taron suggested “Impossible” she smiled “Really?” he asked grinning. He kissed her again a little harder. When they separated, he wore a pained expression and Eryn laughed realising that he had a semi and was thinking about her previous comment. “Now I am even more proud of you” he said laughing a little. “Now how about I read to you and you can doze?” he offered already seeing how heavy Eryn’s eyes were getting.  
“Ok but when I wake up, we are starting on that new wedding folder” she smiled dreamily as Taron pretended to groan. He was playing up on the whole weddings are boring thing. But he couldn’t hide his excitement from Eryn, she knew him too well now and the creative in the pair of them were dying to get into it all. Now they were forgetting keeping anyone else happy. She loved to listen to Taron’s deep voice as it lulled her off to sleep.  
======

“Right where do you want to start?” Taron asked once he had surrounded himself and Eryn with bridal magazines and the folder, each had their laptops open and ready. “Venue is easy” he said “Aber” he grinned “Reception at the Glen” he wrote in pencil on a post it. “Ok well hang on, you can’t simply say Aber. Where is the ceremony going to be? And we need to make the guest list first so we know how many are coming, The Glen could be too small” Eryn said, her organiser hat well and truly on”. The pair took an a4 pad each and began to write their guests on it.  
It was a little while before Taron noticed. He was scribbling away trying to remember everybody as he added to his list. Glancing over, he saw a tear drop from Eryn’s eyes onto her paper. He stopped and stroked her arm, looking at the paper it hit him. One name was written at the top of her page Henny. How could he have been so casual and not considered this playing out in this way. He wrote Henny on his list. Scribbling out his name on the top. He wrote ‘Our’ instead. Laying the paper down. He moved quickly and held Eryn.  
“I’m a fucking idiot, I’m so sorry” he said softly as he rocked her. She shook her head “You’re not an idiot, it didn’t dawn on me either until I wrote Henny and realised there were no others to add. “You know what baby it’s stupid anyway, my family and friends are your family and friends so why do they need to be divvied up and made to sit separate” he tried “Taron I don’t, I can’t do this, can you take it all away please” Eryn said as her breathing increased and Taron could sense she was fast moving toward an attack.  
He kissed her firmly “It’s gone” he gently moved her, so she was laying on her side and able to practice her breathing distraction technique she had learnt. He scooped everything up and took them into the main area, putting all the magazines under the coffee table, he put the folder under it too. He went to the kitchen and poured a glass of water for her before going back to the bedroom. He was devastated to see; Eryn was sobbing hard her breath erratic. The technique was no match for this.  
He quickly crawled up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, he began to sing softly to her as he rocked her. “ I wish I could make it all ok baby” he whispered “I know it’s not enough for me and Mam to say you’re like her daughter, for Guy to think of you the same and for us all to bring you into our family” he continued As he felt her breathing slowly settle down. “No one deserves to be left without a Mam and Dad Eryn” he sighed.  
Eryn turned and curled into Taron gingerly. Moving was still incredibly sore. “It means more than you know for your Mam and Guy to say that, it truly does” she smiled lightly. “It’s not even the Mam and dad thing T, there’s no one else either, no fucking friends. Where are they all, it’s not like I’ve never had them” tears trickled down as she spoke. “They were clearly arseholes if they didn’t stick around” Taron offered. “Or I am” Eryn realised that she had said it out loud, something she often thought but never revealed.  
“You are not an arsehole baby” Taron said firmly “It’s not your fault they chose not to stick around, friendships are a two-way thing babe” he soothed. Stroking her hair. She closed her eyes “Who’s going to give me away?” she asked softly. Taron closed his eyes, another thing he’d not thought about. “Who do you want to do it?” he asked, “Do you think, maybe … G


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

Following the doctor’s orders was not easy for Eryn, She found it impossible to concentrate on writing and after a couple of days laid in bed she was utterly over the whole lounging around business. She was snapping at Taron too, which made her feel all the more fed up. She looked out of the window. It was a clear blue sky and sun was shining. She grumped and huffed dropping her head back on the pillow, she screamed in frustration into another.  
Taron’s head appeared around the door, having heard the noise. It wasn’t the scream of someone in need of urgent help, rather one of sheer desperate frustration and Taron had been wracking his brain for some way to help ease Eryn’s mood. If not only to get a break from his sharp tongue. He tilted his head as he watched her staring at the ceiling. As he was about to walk over there was a loud knock on the door. Taron wandered over and opening it found a delivery gut with an enormous box, the chap was kind enough to bring it in a left it in the main area of the suite.  
Eryn craned her neck to try and see what was going on, but when it became clear that she was not going to get a glimpse of anything good she went back to her phone and started a mind numbing game of Tetris. Having heard curses and groans coming from the other room for some time Eryn had soon had enough. She threw off the duvet and slowly, gingerly swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Tentatively she placed her feet on the floor and reached for the frame she had to use for now. She hadn’t done this before without Taron to grab her if she toppled. But she had so must frustration in her, she was determined to do it alone.  
She wobbled and fell back a little on her first attempt. Her stomach complained massively and Eryn tensed, screwing up her eyes as she finally got up. Lifting and turning the fame incrementally as she made her move across the carpet at a snail’s pace. Which only managed to frustrate her more. “Whoa whoa what the fuck are you…” Taron cried as he saw her reaching the doorway. He jumped up from where he was and ran over. “Why didn’t you shout?” He steadied the frame and placed his hand on her back “Where are you heading? Bathroom?” he asked “Sofa” she scowled her eyes on the floor ahead “What is it you are doing in here? I can here you huffing and fucking puffing” she groaned and winced with each step “Well if you stayed in there, I was going to show you once it was set up”  
He rolled his eyes as he helped Eryn lay on the sofa, amongst the pieces of cardboard and polystyrene pieces. Once she was sat he collected pillows and a blanket from the bedroom for her and got her comfortable. “A wheelchair?” she said softly. Taron sat back down and picked the screwdriver he had been using, continuing to fit the chair together. “Well you’re getting so pissed off, we need to get out of these four bloody walls” he scanned the instructions and looked confused at the piece in front of him. “Pass me that” Eryn smiled and gestured to the instructions. Taron sighed, but handed the paper over. With Eryn’s help the pair soon finished and the chair was ready.  
Eryn stared at it, as Taron went to get them a drink. She already felt like an old person with the frame and without warning she found herself sobbing quietly. As she sniffed, she heard Taron place his glass down and his hand squeezed her shoulder. He walked around the table and crouched by her side. She fell onto his shoulder which made him wobble a little. “No good?” he asked. Eryn shook her head “It’s not that, It’s being so fucking vulnerable Taron that’s all, I will be ok in a minute” she nestled a little into him “I’m sorry I’ve been a bitch again haven’t I?” she said “You’ve been fed up” he said “ But that’s not an excuse to take my mood out on you” she replied sadly. ”And you need to stop me too, stand up to me T” Taron kissed her on the cheek. “We all get a little grumpy, I mean I don’t of course…” he smirked “Baby I can handle a bit of a bad mood, if it got to me then I would say how about that?” he offered.  
“So” Taron said getting up and setting himself down in the chair, he began to wheel it about and as his confidence grew he tried a couple of wheelies, making Eryn laugh. Jumping out he walked over “C’mon easy does it” he said holding out his hands, “lets get out of here” he pleaded. She took a breath and nodded. Taron moved the coffee table and positioned the chair so Eryn could simply move across from seat to seat. He places a pillow on the seat as a buffer. Locking the wheels and moving all her pillows and blankets, Taron helped her ease across. He darted around the from and lifted each for onto the foot plates. Eryn meanwhile slid a thinner pillow down her back to make it more comfortable.  
“I feel like a mental patient” she sighed as he tucked a blanket around her knees “Eugh even more an old granny with that” she groaned “Sorry honey” she said squeezing his hand. “Okay listen” Taron said kneeling in from of her at eye level “Its not for forever, it gets you out of this place and able to do more, today lets just get you physically used to it, then how about tomorrow, we get you up and dressed and we have lunch in the restaurant downstairs, baby steps?” he smiled. She knew he deliberately added the ‘baby’ bit to focus her mind, it worked too. By the evening she was more than happy to wheel herself about the suite and the pair had a fun time enjoying the comedy elements of the interaction. The laughter was like a valve being released on the pressure the couple were under and Eryn found herself catching glances from Taron.  
“what?” she said finally he shook his head, but Eryn was having none of it. “What is it? I can see you, you know” Taron laughed and kissed her cheek. “Just looking at my future, it makes me happy” he said shyly. Eryn was so awed by what he said she didn’t know what to say. She was sat back in bed, having got so uncomfortable she had had to call the high jinks a day. “come here” she told him. Crawling behind her, in line with the row of pillows, he laid his head on her knee, hugging her leg. Her fingertips dipped into his hair and he began to massage them into his scalp “You are a beautiful Man” she whispered to him as his eyes closed to her touch.  
“Mmm baby have you thought about the wedding stuff?” he offered “I know it’s hard sweetheart” he added. Eryn sighed. It had been quite a shock that the planning had been such an emotional thing already and not in the way she hoped. “I had an idea about it, you can fly at 4 weeks recovery can’t you?” he asked. But she was well ahead of him. “Yes please” she answered “You don’t know what I was going to say?” he laughed “Yes, I want to go home and stay with mam and be fussed over by those little munchkins” she smiled as he gazed up at her. Taron noticed she called Tina ‘mam’ rather than ‘your mam’. He didn’t say anything but he was glad to hear it, whether it was a slip up or not.  
“or we could still go to City Hall and elope?” he added, dropping his head back down and wriggling into position to give Eryn access to more of his head, she indulged him. She loved the way he became putty in her hands and how easily and directly she could show her love to him. While he enjoyed his head massage, he lightly stroked the patch of skin above her bandage. Drifting into a daydream. Eryn put her phone down and joined him.  
========  
The following day Eryn was woken early by a nightmare. She sat on the edge of the bed staring at the chair and repeating “End game" under her breath as she hobbled to the bathroom. She had a fire in her now to get out of bed and on the mend. She had spent nearly two weeks in bed and that was enough for her. She looked at her reflection and groaned she looked grey and her hair was frizzy from laying against the pillows. She turned the shower on. The hotel had brought up a bath seat for her to use, but she had yet to attempt a wash more than a flannel wash.  
She peeled off her nightie and dropped it to the floor, for the first time she looked at the bandage. It covered the same section as her hysterectomy and sent feelings from that time through her. She shook her head, “Focus Eryn, End game" she repeated. “I hope you were going to wait for me?” Taron said coming into the bathroom. He looked at his own reflection and groaned, running his hand over his chin. He had a new project in which he had to have a long beard and shoulder length hair. He hoped to avoid fake hair and beard so was trying to grow his own. But was frustrated at how slow it was going.  
Eryn sigh “your timing is as ever impeccable” she laughed as he cocked an eyebrow at her. Pulling off his boxers. He took her hands and helped he to walk under the warm water to sit on the plastic shower seat. He crouched down in front of her “This needs to come off sweetheart" he said looking up at her as the water ran down her shoulders. She nodded “Fast or slow?” he asked her “Slow” she answered and braced herself.  
Surprisingly the bandage came off easily once wet and as Taron examined the wound he smiled, Eryn was reassured by this and looked at it herself. It looked like nothing. Like it did when she had the hysterectomy. She remembered the annoyance of that last time. Thinking “All that pain and that’s all I have to show for it" she felt similarly now. The worst over Taron passed her a sponge and poured her favourite shower gel on it.  
She was able to clean herself and while she did, he cleaned himself, sneaking looks at each other. “Damn Taron, this is so unfair" she smirked as he wriggled his bare backside cheekily at her. Using the shower as a microphone and pretending pole dance. Eryn laughed until it hurt. “Shit. sorry babe" Taron cringed seeing Eryn hold her stomach and grimace. One the pair had washed their hair, Eryn had to ask Taron to shave her legs. He had of course been and done this before so it was soon done and when they rinsed the suds off. Taron kissed her gently. “Just you wait till your better” he whispered in her ear cheekily. Eryn shook her head “Behave" she chided playfully. “You know you want this" he replied grinning and again shaking his bum at her. She slapped it playfully receiving a gasp from Taron.  
He helped her stand and wrapped a towel around her. Holding her in it, she kissed his cheek “Thank you baby" she whispered “It feels so much better to be clean” she added. Leaning on him they walked into the bedroom and she sat again on the edge of the bed. Taron dried himself off and dressed. Eryn directed him to what she wanted to wear and helped her into them.  
Once ready, Taron watched as she applied her make up, pretending to be doing something on his phone. He brought the wheelchair into the room. Eryn rolled her eyes but nodded as he brought it in line so she could transfer to it.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Eryn hated saying goodbye, she refused to go to the airport whenever Taron left. But when it came to finally saying goodbye to Henny and the time, they had enjoyed in her lift it was going to wrench her heart right out. She was now pretty much back to normal. She had 2 weeks left before a doctor would give her the all clear. But she was yearning for the ocean and Aber. She couldn’t explain or understand it but the place had a magic that pulled her, home. “It's just home Hen" she said smiling “Well when I think about how many places you have lived in your life, I mean when we were kids your Mama had those cardboard boxes in and out the garage like twice a year it seemed" Eryn sighed taking another pair of shoes and cramming them in her case. “I counted it once, 11 times before I was 18” she rolled her eyes as Jenny shook her head “Fuck I was joking but that?” Eryn shrugged “You don’t know any different do you when you’re in it, but yeah I think about it now and I’m not surprised I never felt safe as a kid “she shrugged. Henny and Eryn sat on the case to help it shut. “I have never seen you happier than when you were in Aber, I mean you had a certain someone making you smile” they giggled as they finally zipped up the bag.  
Then Henny threw her arm around Eryn and pulled her in,” Can’t believe you’re dropping me for those cheeky two girls and wedding plans” she said as they jumped off. “Actually, can we switch? Oh careful “Eryn held her stomach as she landed a little badly. “Are you okay?” She asked but Eryn nodded and stood. “just landed stupid” she replied and Henny lifted the suitcase off the bed and down to the cab. “You look after yourself woman" Henny said holding back her tears “ I will see your arse on Aber or else" Eryn replied “ well yeah for the wedding, err no that’s not even set date and I’m banking on next autumn, so I want to see you way before that" they held each other for a while. “Go get the fuck out of here" Henny finally said and shut the door.  
Eryn called Taron in Sweden, the next part of his tour. She nearly collapsed in laughter, when she saw him in full hair and make-up. “Yeah yeah quit it, I know" he said as Eryn tried her best to compose herself. “can I play with your hair; I want to make it into a plait or piggy tails" she chuckled “Right hanging up now" he teased “aww baby come on its sexy" she said as he flung it over his shoulder dramatically. She let him know she was about to get on the flight and wouldn’t be able to chat until she landed. She then had a train journey from Birmingham to Aberystwyth. They chatted for some time before she had to go and board.  
Taron was exhausted and checked his phone as he climbed into bed. He was surprised that Eryn hadn’t called as the flight should have landed, he had a missed call from Guy who had arranged with him for Guy to collect Eryn and drive her back to save her from catching the train. He dialled the number to a concerned sounding Guy “Taron thank God. have you heard from Eryn? I think I must have missed her somehow" her flight landed and I waited at arrivals but she never came through” he sounded panicked “I’ve rung her phone but its ringing out, I asked and everyone she was definitely on the flight, so we must have missed each other, should I head home? “Taron reassured his step farther and told him to go back, she wasn’t expecting to see Guy after all and probably just ended up on the train. “Guy was still stressed and asked Taron to keep ringing her and let him know when they got through  
Taron sat hugging his legs, it certainly wasn’t like her to not call him when she landed or let her phone ring out. But he tried to be logical and every 10 or so minutes tried her phone. Eventually it stopped ringing at all and went to voicemail directly. HE assumed the battery had died and waited to hear from her once she arrived and heard all the fuss.  
He woke when the phone rang loudly in his ear, he had fallen asleep. But glanced at the clock he saw it was getting on for 1am UK time. He answered the phone. “Taron, its Guy, listen we think we might want to call the police mate. Your Mams been at the train station and Eryn is nowhere. Her phones off and the guard said the last trains come in for the night now, Mate we just don’t know where she is?”  
Taron sat up shaking himself more awake and trying to understand what he was being told. “Taron ??” he steps Dad asked firmly “Err yes call the police arm sorry I was asleep I shit, what should I do? I need to speak to Lyndsay and I “Taron Babbled It was then that Tina came on the line. “Taron its Mam, listen just sit still for a minute, Guys calling the police, just let’s stay calm no need to panic yet" she tried to calm her son as he began pulling his clothes on and throwing all he could into a case.  
Deciding he didn’t care about it all he grabbed his passport, wallet, keys and jacket and walked out of the room. Tina heard him rapping loudly on someone’s door. Lyndsay took the phone and Tina was able to hear Taron gasping for breath as Lyndsay told him to sit and breath  
“hello?” Lyndsay said into the phone having no idea what was going on” Tina explained the situation and Lyndsay assured her she would get Taron on the next flight and get him to Aber asap. She ended the call with Tina promising to keep them updated. Taron had managed to sort himself out and was pleading with Lyndsay to just go to the airport.  
She managed to calm him down. Explaining that she needed to find a flight, there were few that went overnight and it was likely the first one would be round 6am. She sat Taron down with a strong coffee and a tot of brandy. He stared at the water mark on the wooden table as Lyndsay typed  
She turned to him, right two options flight at 04.55 lands 05.25 then drove 2hrs or train so guessing drive. I will have a taxi waiting. Or we can get a private plane to land at an airbase in Borth?” Borth was the town next to Aber and Taron thought it was obvious, he knew Lyndsay was giving him a cheaper option as the private plane would be crazy expensive, at this short notice even more so. “Just get the plane, tell them I don’t need anything extra like food and crap just get it ready to go right now" he said and nodding her head she placed her hand on his “Thought you’d say that so I set it up already, they will call when we can leave" Lyndsay told Taron she would pack his stuff and get it back. She then had to cancel the rest of the tour and provide explanations to everyone.  
Taron foot wouldn’t stop tapping as he burned a hole in his phone begging Eryn to ring with some stupid explanation and tell them all off for freaking out, only he couldn’t stop thinking about the last time she had gone missing. When his phone rang his heart jumped into his throat, but it was his mother “ Taron, have you heard anything from her?” she asked and his heart sank” realising before he even spoke that she hadn’t Tina exhaled “ Ok well the bloody police say she’s got to have been missing 24 hrs before they look for her, Guy has gone to check all the stations down the line and see if she stuck somewhere, but I don’t know what else to do? Where on earth she could have gone too? We don’t even know if she got on the train, just that she was on the flight and came through immigration this end.  
“Fuck Mam has anyone called Henny she might... mam I’m coming back I’m waiting on a plane; I will ring Henny and get back to you" Taron ended the call and quickly scrolled to Henny and hit the button. Hoping it was a mistake that she had missed the flight or something. “Fuck Taron what time is it where you are?” Henny laughed. Taron new instantly he was about to ruin her happy tone “Eryn’s missing” he blurted “Missing what do you mean missing? She asked and Taron filled her in.  
“What the fuck, she got on the flight no problem at this end, I did wonder why she didn’t call. when she landed, but fuck Taron that Cunt better not have... shit what do I do?” Henny finished. “I don’t know Hen, Bloody police won’t do anything my Mams tried, she has to be gone 24 hrs" he was stilling talking as Lyndsay alerted him it was time to leave. He told Henny what he was doing and she promised to ring anyone and everyone she could think of"  
Once he was on the plane, his impatient and frustration boiled over. He had to lock himself in the toilet to avoid the looks from what little crew was on board. He held his head as hot angry tears flowed down his cheeks. “where the fuck are you?” he shouted. He cleaned himself up and headed back to the seat. Staring out of the window at the darkness, he held his phone in his hand willing Eryn to ring or text or something.  
As they landed, he received a text from Henny, she was out of people to call and though she knew he would have called if he’d found her, but she asked for news anyway. He texts back a simple “No news". He was thankful for his financial security as he climbed off the jet and saw a large black Mercedes on the tarmac waiting for him. He climbed in the back and the car sped off toward Aber. He texts his Mam to tell her he was nearly there. But he had as much of an idea of what to do next as anyone else. He practically jumped out of the car and into his Mams arms. Guy stood next to her he looked worn out and as if he was responsible somehow. Taron hugged the man tight too, reassuring him. The family moved into the main room and they sat as Taron's aunty Eve brought them all tea. She had come out to sit with the girls while Tina had gone to the train station hoping to meet Eryn off the train.  
It was like someone pressed pause from that moment, silence descended and the adults simply sat and stared into their mugs. All trying to think about what on earth had happened. Every now and then a suggestion was made and dismissed. “He has her" Taron said finally not looking at anyone he went out to the back garden and found his hidden cigarette stash. He lit one and for the first time in 6 weeks, took in the pleasure. He felt guilty for it, but knew Eryn would forgive him.  
His mother came out and leant against the wall. She was sad to see the cigarette, but knew it was understandable under the circumstances. Tina pulled her son into her arms and he crumbled into her like a baby. “Where is she Mam? What do I do?” he sobbed. All Tina could so be rock him and try and reassure him that they would find her.  
The family camped out in the lounge, trying to come up with a plan. But as the first light began to seep through the curtain. Everyone dropped into sleep. When the girls woke excitedly the next day, it was a tired Aunty who took them quietly up to their room and explained that they would be coming to hers for a sleep over. She helped them pack a few bits and while they were getting ready, Eve woke her sister and told her. The sisters hugged and Tina kissed the girls as they headed out.  
Tina watched Taron staring at the phone, she had thought he had been asleep but he had sat just begging the phone to do something. Every now and then he headed out to the garden for another cig. Soon he was out. “Fuck Eryn" he screamed throwing the phone at the wall of the house. Staring at the shards if it on the ground, he gasped. “Fuck no Damn" he cried worried he had destroyed the only way Eryn could contact him.  
Guy came out hearing Taron shout. Seeing the phone, he picked it up. Pulling his stepson to him he hugged him tight. “I don’t know why I didn’t see her Taron; I just do not understand I keep going over and over it.” Taron felt bad for Guy it really wasn’t his fault. “I’m going for a walk; I need more fags and I can’t just sit here” Taron said walking out of the side gate and down the road. While he was gone Guy retrieved the sim card from the remains of Taron’s phone and going through his shed, he found a compatible device he put the sim in and was grateful to see it worked. At least he could fix that problem.  
When Taron walked back up the hill, he saw police cars outside his Mams house and practically ran the rest of the way. He ran into the hallway. Looking expectantly at the officers. But was dismayed to hear they had no news; they were finally taking details though. When Taron mentioned the history and the officers on Eryn’s case. The officers looked at other and one left to use their radio. When she returned to nodded to her companion “Right the lead officer PC Owen is on her way, we were unaware of the history, had we known we would have treated this as a far more urgent case, I’m unsure why we were unaware but I can tell you it will be looked into” the officer looked genuinely angry at the situation. But all Taron and the family could do was nod.  
The officers left and again silence fell in the room. Taron curled back under the blanket on the sofa. “Here" Guy said handing the phone to him, “You're Sims in there so it works, if she can she will get you now" he said. Taron held Guys hand with both his nodding his thanks. He returned to staring at it.  
Time passed so quickly without anything seeming to be happening. Taron laid still wondering why he had bothered rushing back when he couldn’t do anything. He was about to get up and go for another cigarette when there was a knock on the door. It was PC Owen. She walked into the lounge and greeted everyone. Looking at Taron his eyes were red and puffy, he looked exhausted.  
“Taron, I have some news, now firstly we have located Eryn" she said as everyone sighed audibly but before Taron could say anymore PC Owen continued carefully “Now what I need to tell you is going to be very hard to hear" Taron swallowed and looked at his Mamas his bottom lip quivered fearing the worst, Tina sat next to Taron and held his hand.


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53  
Taron was handed a laminated piece of crumpled paper. “Can you confirm if this is Eryn's handwriting?” PC Owen asked. Taron looked at his mother and to the paper. Reading the words, he looked shocked but said nothing;  
Taron  
I cannot tell you how sorry I am, I cannot go on pretending anymore and I cannot live a lie. Please forgive what I am about to do.  
Eryn  
It read. Taron was stony faced as he nodded. “Where was the found?”. PC Owen shifted a little before she spoke “Taron we found a body this morning ...” Taron heard nothing of the rest of what PC Owen said. He was up out of his chair and out the front door. Running.  
The officer and Tina followed him to the door and could only watch as half way down the road he dropped to his knees. Fetching, Guy was there in a minute pushing passed the women and was holding onto Taron as he gasped for air, wailing loudly. He managed to stand his step son up and walk him back into the house.  
He slumped onto the sofa as Tina crying heavily too, rubbed his back as he cried into a pillow. PC Owen took Guy to one side. “I am very sorry, but we need someone to identify the body formally" Guy nodded. “I can do that" Taron shouldn’t have too" he said PC Owen nodded again.” Ruth will be here soon and she can go over all the details as much as you all need ok.” She said “I will organise the ID for 3PM and someone will come and collect you" she finished. Guy nodded. Closing his eyes, he leant on the door well after the officer left.  
Walking into the garden and into his shed, he sat.  
The house was quiet again, Taron had finally fallen asleep and Tina dozed in the chair next to him. When he woke, he instantly grabbed his phone forgetting reality for a second. It hit him like a punch in the guts. Screwing his eyes up, he could see the note, her curly handwriting. The way her ‘I' looked like an ‘e' He shook his head. “Makes no sense" he mumbled  
Alerting Tina that her son was awake, “What sweetheart?” she asked “Makes no sense Mam, why?” he barely breathed the words. “I need to know what happened to her Mam, I need to see her" he said sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Tina looked at her son, he looked broken. She sighed, “I know"  
There was a knock at the door and Tina answered, greeting PC Owen and Ruth. They walked into the living room and sat. Tina joining Taron on the sofa and holding his hand. “Ok, so Guy has kindly agreed to complete the identification “she said. Taron and Tina looked at Guy, who nodded “Least I can do” he said squeezing Taron’s shoulder. Taron looked at him gratefully “I need to see her" he said “Of course Taron, but let us formally identify her first" Ruth said softly knowing it would be harder for Taron to see Eryn in the state she would likely be in.  
“Right we shall head off, meanwhile Ruth will go through what we know ok?” Guy kissed Tina on the cheek and hugged Taron “I will make sure it’s her ok" he whispered and Taron nodded and watched them leave. Not knowing which to hope for, if it wasn’t her. “Are you still looking in case it’s not her?” he suddenly blurted again panicked, “what if she’s still out there and you’re not looking" he said. Ruth quickly calmed him “She is still a Misper until we get confirmation from the ID we are still looking don’t worry" she said and Taron sat back down having had started pacing again.  
Ruth took out her laptop and began setting it up. Tina decided that tea was needed now and made a pot, bringing the tray in and setting it down she made herself busy pouring the liquid into the mugs. “Right this is what we know for sure" Ruth began. “Eryn was on flight 134100 from JFK at 08:33am she arrived in Birmingham international at 18:00pm. Clearing customs and immigration at 18:31pm.  
She turned the laptop, “Ok now this is cctv footage from Birmingham international airport. It shows someone looking like Eryn she leaves the airport arrivals and goes into Starbucks. Sometime later we see her heading to platform 5b and getting on the Trans wales Aberystwyth train at 19:09pm. I need you to watch very carefully and tell me if it is Eryn and more importantly if you recognise anyone else around" Taron nodded as he and Tina began to watch the screen.  
Eryn was immediately obvious to them she had a distinctive black suitcase adorned with rainbow flowers, Taron half smiled as he watched her bouncing along, smiling and singing along to whatever music was playing in her head phones. “There’s Guy" Tina shouted and Ruth stopped the footage.  
Sure, enough Guy was viable entering the top of the screen as Eryn left at the bottom. He had just missed her by seconds. While Ruth made notes, Taron stared at the frozen image of Eryn, she looked so happy and excited. Tears again ran down his cheeks, he shook them away and looked away from the screen “that’s definitely Eryn” he croaked “her suitcase it’s the only one like it” he added.  
Ruth nodded and noted it down. She began the video again and they watched her half dancing, half walking into Starbucks. “Stop" Taron shouted “There” he said jumping from the seat “Fucking Bastard” he walked out to the garden and his fags again. “That’s Phillip Warrington" Tina said pointing to a man all in black, stood watching Eryn from across the concourse, he was stood with another man in a grey hoodie and blue joggers. Ruth began to scribble furiously for a moment.  
“We can take a break" Ruth told Tina. Tina got up and headed out to the garden. “She looked so fucking happy Mam" he whined “She was so excited to get home, she called her home and she called you Mam" he said laughing sadly “I didn’t know that darling" Tina said holding her son again. Are you ok to do this, because I can do it Taron, you don’t have to" Tina watched as he shook his head and her heart broke for him? “I need to do this"  
Going back inside, Ruth was in the telephone. Once she finished, she turned to mother and son. “When the body was found” she said “It was found with a number of belongings, the suitcase pictured in the CCTV, a mobile phone with a picture of you Taron and the victim" Ruth said. Taron felt his heart physically hurt as she used the word victim when talking about Eryn. He realised the phone call; Guy must have finished the identification. He held his mother’s arm as if he was going to pass out “Is it her?” he said breaking into Ruth’s words. “That call, that was ... Is it Eryn???


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54  
It was like slow motion, as Ruth shook her head and say the words, “It is not her” Taron looked at his mother, he was hearing but not understanding. As Tina smiled at him, it hit him and he suddenly exhaled, not realizing that he'd been holding it in. He closed his eyes “So she’s still out there with him doing good knows what to her" he said. Tina lost her smile at his words. Guy walked into the house he looked shaken and clearly the whole situation had been an ordeal. Tina left her seat and pulled her husband into the kitchen.  
Taron joined her, Guy was shaking and gave Taron a small smile. “No way could I let you do that son; it was fucking horrific. That poor girl" he said drinking the whiskey Tina handed him. Taron nodded and hugged his stepfather. “This is not your fault; you don’t need to do anything more for me" he told the man. It was a while until the mother and son left Guy to calm himself and returned to the front room.  
Sat in the lounge Ruth explained that some CCTV had successfully identified Eryn, Phil and another man at Aberystwyth train station. It showed Phil waiting for the train to arrive, when it did the unidentified man could be seen disembarking the train with Eryn's bags and holding her wrist.  
Looking at the grainy still shots on the laptop Taron grew angry. They had changed her clothes He couldn’t see her face but it was definitely Eryn. Eryn and the man were seen to walk over to Phil where the men had a conversation and Phil handed the man an envelope before taking Eryn's wrist. Phil was seen walking out of the side entrance with Eryn. The man walked out the main entrance with Eryn's bag. They followed the man to the taxi rank where he got in a cab and disappeared. Officers were currently canvassing the drivers, Ruth explained.  
More importantly CCTV followed Eryn and Phil as they passed the bus station and into the park. Where the cctv cameras were unable to keep up. Ruth explained that they were currently working on any cctv from the park area and all possible exits.  
Taron sighed staring at the image of Eryn her wrist held by Phil. Her body language said it all, she was pulling away and clearly not going with him willingly. He hated it “Why didn’t someone do something?" he seethed “Because people don’t like to get involved, if they think it’s a domestic “Ruth replied “We know the circumstances others don’t” she sighed and Taron nodded. “Right then" he said getting up, “Where are you going?” Tina asked “The park Mam, I’m not sitting here when she is here somewhere" he said “wait" Ruth called to him “Guy" shouted Tina “Go with him he thinks he can go find her" she explained. Guy nodded and quickly grabbed his jacket and one for Taron as he jogged after Taron.  
“He needs to do something he will go crazy otherwise" Tina explained and Ruth nodded “It’s been searched and there are officers on alert all over so it’s fine" Tina sighed and dropped back into the chair exhausted. “That man I swear if I got my fucking hands" Tina spat “Sorry but" she started as Ruth shook her head “I am right with you” she smiled sadly.  
Taron stood at the green gates to the park, explaining who he was to the officers. They were refusing to let him into the park. Guy had to pull him away as he grew more forceful. Instead of giving up and going back to his mam’s Guy suggested they walked to the flat and walk off some of the stress as they could keep a good eye out for anyone on the way. Taron nodded but it felt wrong, like he was walking away from her.  
As they walked into the entrance hall of the apartment block, Taron stopped. He gestured to Guy that the front door to the flat was damaged, the wood around the clock was scuffed and looked like someone had gone at it with a screwdriver. Guy grabbed Taron instinct taking over knowing that in the state in which Taron was in would mean he would probably go barrelling in.  
He pulled him back out of the building and away a way. Frustrated, Taron pulled free and kicked the bin cupboard. Guy dialled 999 and explained everything. Holding Taron by the upper arm he frogmarched him down the road and around the back. From where they stood, they could monitor whether anyone left from the front or back of the building.  
It seemed like forever when the police finally arrived. Two came to cover the back and another two went to the front. A few minutes passed when Guy and Taron saw someone all in black try and run from the patio door. At this sight, Taron ran, Guy was too slow to grab his arm this time and followed him sprinting at full pelt. Taron ran past the officers tackling Phil to the ground and into the flat screaming “Eryn??” “Eryn??” he scanned the place looking for her. When he couldn’t See her, he turned to Phil now cuffed, shouting and swearing at the officers. Taron launched at him, his fists pounded into Phil’s face again and again until Guy dragged him back. “Where is she? What have you done to her you mother fucking bastard" he screamed kicking and fighting Guy to get loose.  
Then he heard it, barely audible “I'm here. Taron" turning he saw two officers holding Eryn, she was weak and holding her neck. A length of cable was wrapped around it, angry red marks showed on her light skin. Taron was with her in a shot and scooped her up. Holding her as tears poured down both their cheeks. He looked into her eyes searching them for what he didn’t know. To make sure she was really there and he wasn’t dreaming. But as he looked, he eyes glazed over and all of a sudden, she became a dead weight in his arms, panicking he screamed for help.  
No matter what she said Tina couldn’t move her son from outside intensive care. She tried for hours to have him take a break, get a drink and food. He was so tired and drawn. The best she could manage was to get him to close his eyes and lay on her lap. It reminded him of how Eryn would play with his hair. It was excruciatingly difficult to wait outside when he wanted to be by her side and never be away from her again. But he couldn’t go to theatre and while she was in, he had to wait out here.  
He ran it all through his mind, over and over. Why did he trust Eryn? when she said he was done after breaking in the hotel, when did this prick give up? he broke out of prison and worked a way into the states, he felt like an idiot for not expecting this, for leaving Eryn alone for anything he could blame himself for. He was truly exhausted and dearly needed sleep, his Mam was warm but it wasn’t comfortable bent sideways. He was glad when he saw the trolley coming back from theatre.  
He jumped up and looked at Eryn, she was unconscious still but had a tube now from her chest, just below her neck. He looked worried as a nurse explained it was a tracyostomy tube, a way to breathe by bypassing the neck and throat. The police told Taron that when she was found she was hanging from a light fitting with the cable around her neck and fighting for her life. The image though he hadn’t seen her was now burned into his brain. The operation was meant to allow her throat and neck to recover from the trauma.  
Taron was given a chair, and sat as close as possible to her holding her hand, he lay his head on the bed and fell asleep. The staff were told the full history and agreed to break with the usual visiting protocol. Tina was just glad to see him sleeping. She squeezed Eryn’s hand and kissed her forehead, giving her a hug. As she wiped away tears. Guy too kissed her on the cheek and the couple left instructions to tell Taron to call them before heading home.  
Turning her head, a little, Eryn began to wake. Staff moved quickly to prepare for her to react to the tube. Instead her eyes looked down at Taron and with the free hand she reached across and began to scratch his head smiling as she closed her eyes again. The track meant Eryn could not speak and was for now unable to communicate verbally. She was aware of this once she had understood that she had it. It also meant writing down all she wanted to say, which was frustrating. When Taron woke Eryn had been awake a while and getting used to being unable to speak. She wanted Taron to hear her voice, to tell him that she was okay, but contented herself by smoothing his frown and relishing in their ability to know what each other needed, thought and felt so instinctively.  
Taron stretched and turned, seeing Eryn awake he smiled and kissed her forehead, she scowled and shook her head, she reached and put her hand on his cheek as he leaned into it closing his eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Dropping his head onto her chest she stroked his head knowing all he wanted to say and telling him she was going to be fine. He turned his head sideways, but kept it on her chest as he gazed at her, he looked at the tubes and his eyes caught sight of the black friction mark on her neck.  
Knowing what he was looking at she shook her head again and tilted his head up. She gestured for him to kiss her. He wasn’t sure he was allowed, but he pressed his lips tentatively on hers as she pulled him closer. They had been apart for a while before everything and it felt incredible to feel their lips touch gently, the lightest sensation feeling his breath on her, the tingling was sensational and soon Taron felt the need to hold her tight and kissing her with such intimate feelings he broke away, unable to stop the tears. She wiped them and kissed him again, ghosting her lips over his and letting her tongue touch lightly on the edge, she moved in time with him, luxuriating in the sensation and perfection of how they fit perfectly together.  
A cough had the couple break apart this time as Eryn’s nurse arrived with medication to add to her drip. “Well I can see I’m going to have to keep an eye on you two love birds" the nurse teased. Eryn laughed but no sound came, making her laugh even more, soon both Taron and Eryn were laughing. Eryn was glad to see the tension fall a little from Taron’s shoulders she knew it would be a long time before it was fully gone though.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 54  
It was like slow motion, as Ruth shook her head and say the words, “It is not her” Taron looked at his mother, he was hearing but not understanding. As Tina smiled at him, it hit him and he suddenly exhaled, not realizing that he'd been holding it in. He closed his eyes “So she’s still out there with him doing good knows what to her" he said. Tina lost her smile at his words. Guy walked into the house he looked shaken and clearly the whole situation had been an ordeal. Tina left her seat and pulled her husband into the kitchen.  
Taron joined her, Guy was shaking and gave Taron a small smile. “No way could I let you do that son; it was fucking horrific. That poor girl" he said drinking the whiskey Tina handed him. Taron nodded and hugged his stepfather. “This is not your fault; you don’t need to do anything more for me" he told the man. It was a while until the mother and son left Guy to calm himself and returned to the front room.  
Sat in the lounge Ruth explained that some CCTV had successfully identified Eryn, Phil and another man at Aberystwyth train station. It showed Phil waiting for the train to arrive, when it did the unidentified man could be seen disembarking the train with Eryn's bags and holding her wrist.  
Looking at the grainy still shots on the laptop Taron grew angry. They had changed her clothes He couldn’t see her face but it was definitely Eryn. Eryn and the man were seen to walk over to Phil where the men had a conversation and Phil handed the man an envelope before taking Eryn's wrist. Phil was seen walking out of the side entrance with Eryn. The man walked out the main entrance with Eryn's bag. They followed the man to the taxi rank where he got in a cab and disappeared. Officers were currently canvassing the drivers, Ruth explained.  
More importantly CCTV followed Eryn and Phil as they passed the bus station and into the park. Where the cctv cameras were unable to keep up. Ruth explained that they were currently working on any cctv from the park area and all possible exits.  
Taron sighed staring at the image of Eryn her wrist held by Phil. Her body language said it all, she was pulling away and clearly not going with him willingly. He hated it “Why didn’t someone do something?" he seethed “Because people don’t like to get involved, if they think it’s a domestic “Ruth replied “We know the circumstances others don’t” she sighed and Taron nodded. “Right then" he said getting up, “Where are you going?” Tina asked “The park Mam, I’m not sitting here when she is here somewhere" he said “wait" Ruth called to him “Guy" shouted Tina “Go with him he thinks he can go find her" she explained. Guy nodded and quickly grabbed his jacket and one for Taron as he jogged after Taron.  
“He needs to do something he will go crazy otherwise" Tina explained and Ruth nodded “It’s been searched and there are officers on alert all over so it’s fine" Tina sighed and dropped back into the chair exhausted. “That man I swear if I got my fucking hands" Tina spat “Sorry but" she started as Ruth shook her head “I am right with you” she smiled sadly.  
Taron stood at the green gates to the park, explaining who he was to the officers. They were refusing to let him into the park. Guy had to pull him away as he grew more forceful. Instead of giving up and going back to his mam’s Guy suggested they walked to the flat and walk off some of the stress as they could keep a good eye out for anyone on the way. Taron nodded but it felt wrong, like he was walking away from her.  
As they walked into the entrance hall of the apartment block, Taron stopped. He gestured to Guy that the front door to the flat was damaged, the wood around the clock was scuffed and looked like someone had gone at it with a screwdriver. Guy grabbed Taron instinct taking over knowing that in the state in which Taron was in would mean he would probably go barrelling in.  
He pulled him back out of the building and away a way. Frustrated, Taron pulled free and kicked the bin cupboard. Guy dialled 999 and explained everything. Holding Taron by the upper arm he frogmarched him down the road and around the back. From where they stood, they could monitor whether anyone left from the front or back of the building.  
It seemed like forever when the police finally arrived. Two came to cover the back and another two went to the front. A few minutes passed when Guy and Taron saw someone all in black try and run from the patio door. At this sight, Taron ran, Guy was too slow to grab his arm this time and followed him sprinting at full pelt. Taron ran past the officers tackling Phil to the ground and into the flat screaming “Eryn??” “Eryn??” he scanned the place looking for her. When he couldn’t See her, he turned to Phil now cuffed, shouting and swearing at the officers. Taron launched at him, his fists pounded into Phil’s face again and again until Guy dragged him back. “Where is she? What have you done to her you mother fucking bastard" he screamed kicking and fighting Guy to get loose.  
Then he heard it, barely audible “I'm here. Taron" turning he saw two officers holding Eryn, she was weak and holding her neck. A length of cable was wrapped around it, angry red marks showed on her light skin. Taron was with her in a shot and scooped her up. Holding her as tears poured down both their cheeks. He looked into her eyes searching them for what he didn’t know. To make sure she was really there and he wasn’t dreaming. But as he looked, he eyes glazed over and all of a sudden, she became a dead weight in his arms, panicking he screamed for help.  
No matter what she said Tina couldn’t move her son from outside intensive care. She tried for hours to have him take a break, get a drink and food. He was so tired and drawn. The best she could manage was to get him to close his eyes and lay on her lap. It reminded him of how Eryn would play with his hair. It was excruciatingly difficult to wait outside when he wanted to be by her side and never be away from her again. But he couldn’t go to theatre and while she was in, he had to wait out here.  
He ran it all through his mind, over and over. Why did he trust Eryn? when she said he was done after breaking in the hotel, when did this prick give up? he broke out of prison and worked a way into the states, he felt like an idiot for not expecting this, for leaving Eryn alone for anything he could blame himself for. He was truly exhausted and dearly needed sleep, his Mam was warm but it wasn’t comfortable bent sideways. He was glad when he saw the trolley coming back from theatre.  
He jumped up and looked at Eryn, she was unconscious still but had a tube now from her chest, just below her neck. He looked worried as a nurse explained it was a tracyostomy tube, a way to breathe by bypassing the neck and throat. The police told Taron that when she was found she was hanging from a light fitting with the cable around her neck and fighting for her life. The image though he hadn’t seen her was now burned into his brain. The operation was meant to allow her throat and neck to recover from the trauma.  
Taron was given a chair, and sat as close as possible to her holding her hand, he lay his head on the bed and fell asleep. The staff were told the full history and agreed to break with the usual visiting protocol. Tina was just glad to see him sleeping. She squeezed Eryn’s hand and kissed her forehead, giving her a hug. As she wiped away tears. Guy too kissed her on the cheek and the couple left instructions to tell Taron to call them before heading home.  
Turning her head, a little, Eryn began to wake. Staff moved quickly to prepare for her to react to the tube. Instead her eyes looked down at Taron and with the free hand she reached across and began to scratch his head smiling as she closed her eyes again. The track meant Eryn could not speak and was for now unable to communicate verbally. She was aware of this once she had understood that she had it. It also meant writing down all she wanted to say, which was frustrating. When Taron woke Eryn had been awake a while and getting used to being unable to speak. She wanted Taron to hear her voice, to tell him that she was okay, but contented herself by smoothing his frown and relishing in their ability to know what each other needed, thought and felt so instinctively.  
Taron stretched and turned, seeing Eryn awake he smiled and kissed her forehead, she scowled and shook her head, she reached and put her hand on his cheek as he leaned into it closing his eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Dropping his head onto her chest she stroked his head knowing all he wanted to say and telling him she was going to be fine. He turned his head sideways, but kept it on her chest as he gazed at her, he looked at the tubes and his eyes caught sight of the black friction mark on her neck.  
Knowing what he was looking at she shook her head again and tilted his head up. She gestured for him to kiss her. He wasn’t sure he was allowed, but he pressed his lips tentatively on hers as she pulled him closer. They had been apart for a while before everything and it felt incredible to feel their lips touch gently, the lightest sensation feeling his breath on her, the tingling was sensational and soon Taron felt the need to hold her tight and kissing her with such intimate feelings he broke away, unable to stop the tears. She wiped them and kissed him again, ghosting her lips over his and letting her tongue touch lightly on the edge, she moved in time with him, luxuriating in the sensation and perfection of how they fit perfectly together.  
A cough had the couple break apart this time as Eryn’s nurse arrived with medication to add to her drip. “Well I can see I’m going to have to keep an eye on you two love birds" the nurse teased. Eryn laughed but no sound came, making her laugh even more, soon both Taron and Eryn were laughing. Eryn was glad to see the tension fall a little from Taron’s shoulders she knew it would be a long time before it was fully gone though.


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 57  
“Taron, Jesus Tina get Eryn out" Guy shouted as he took another of Taron’s fists to his cheek. “Taron! Wake up, come on mate, it’s a dream you’re okay" he continued as Taron stopped flailing and began to become aware of his surroundings.  
Looking like a terrified animal, his eyes were wide and teeth clenched. His fists tight and ready. He breathed heavily as the room and Guy came into view. The room in disarray, a broken lamp lay on the floor shattered and bedding was in a crumpled pile on the other side of the bed from where Taron now sat.  
Tina handed Guy a bag of frozen peas in a tea towel and he placed it on his cheek. “Has he calmed down?” she asked her husband. Who nodded? “Taron?” his Mam moved passed the debris and sat next to him on the bed. “What happened? Did I do this?” he asked confused. Tina nodded as Guy started to pick things up, heading off to look for a dust pan. “Where’s Eryn?” he asked panicked “I’m out here baby, it’s ok" she said as she came back in. She was holding a cloth to her lip as she made her way over to him. “Right I’m going to make us all a drink, you’ll be ok?” she asked Eryn, who nodded.  
“Why’d she? He said noticing her lip. Taking it all in realisation hit. “I did that didn’t I? He asked as she dabbled at the small cut on her lip. She blinked a few times, resting her head on his shoulder she whispered “yes" he stood up and went to walk out, but Eryn grabbed his leg “Taron don’t you know, I can’t run after you" she begged. He looked at her hurt written across his face “Taron, you were dreaming, you thought I was... him" Eryn told him. “You didn’t mean to?” she said sadly.  
As guy returned holding the peas to his cheek “Fuck, I hit you too" he groaned “You did, I tell you I’m glad you didn’t get hold of him, you would be waiting murder conviction, that’s some right hook" he said sweeping the broken lamp up. “Don’t joke Guy, it's not funny, here I should do that at least” He said taking the dust pan and brush and taking over from Guy  
Tina arrived with mugs of tea for them all, Guy sat with Eryn as Tina pulled the bedding back onto the bed and Taron finished clearing the broken lamp up. Taron took his tea and sat, his head hanging in shame. “Taron" Guy began “You didn’t mean to, but I know that doesn’t matter in your head” “And what if it had been Mari or Rosie??” he asked heartbroken. Tina walked around and crouched down, I’m going to get you an appointment when they open with Dr Redvers, he will sort you out ok?” she said patting his knee. “Turn around" she told him “We all went through it, but we all experienced what happened differently, I think we need a professional to help us through it all. But we are a family and we stick together ok?” Everyone nodded. Tina looked at Taron who smiled sadly and nodded again.  
“I am so sorry" Taron said walking over to Guy and hugging him, the tears in his eyes dribbled down Guy’s shoulder. “It’s going to be alright son, don’t worry. It’s just a bruise it will go” Guy reassured him. “Now you two get some sleep, any problems just shout ok? Tina said collecting the empty mugs and shutting the door behind her.  
Taron and Eryn climbed back into bed; Taron lay on his side his head propped up with his hand. “you’re scared to sleep? Eryn asked answering her own question. She lay next to him; his usual touch was missing. She took his hand and interlaced hers with his. “let me in? She asked softly.  
He let go of her hand and held his arm out so she could Nestle into his stomach. Kissing his stomach and chest. She stroked his arm as her eyes closed. “If didn’t feel safe Taron, I wouldn’t be here. It’s ok close your eyes" she whispered.  
Taron noticed the oxygen canister and mask were missing and realised that she must have been using it when he had hit her. He kicked off the duvet and went to look for it. He found it on the stairs and brought it back in and laid it back on the side. Shutting the door. He stood for a moment “maybe I should sleep on the sofa, just in case" he said  
Eryn sat “we are meant to be keeping you calm and if you are worried, I could kick off at any moment in my sleep, that’s not doing that. Plus, I’m going to have a hard time hurting anyone if no one’s around" he said simply.  
He picked up his pillows and left before Eryn could answer. Eryn lay in bed thinking it all through. It had triggered some serious memories when she woke up to Taron’s face full of anger. She had meant it when she said that she wasn’t scared of him. But she couldn’t stop his face now morphing into Phil’s and a small part of her returned to the constant pain that nagged her. Was she making these men in her life turn violent? She was the one constant in all of this after all, was she truly cursed? She joked about it, but never really rid herself of the ‘bad seed’ she believed she was deep down. That somehow, she was like Pandora and because of her own flaws, let evil out into the world wherever she went.  
She shook the thought, deciding it was an unhelpful road to wander down and grabbing her equipment, she got out of bed and headed downstairs. Taron laid on the sofa with a blanket looking anything but comfortable, tossing and turning. She strode over to him and whipped the blanket back, “Get upstairs now” she told him. He looked at her wearily and sat up, placing his feet on the floor “ Come on Welsh Boi, you and I need to get sleeping and we are doing that upstairs, together” she put her hands on her hips. He smiled sadly and stood up moving toward her his hands went to her waist and he rested his head on her shoulder. “I feel like I’m falling apart” he admitted. Eryn lay her hand on the back of his head and kissed it sweetly. “I know, but me, your Mam, Guy, the girls, your whole family are here and if that’s what you need then we will make sure your safe, right? She told him. “Now up” she told him smacking his bum lightly.  
He sighed and turned walking up the stairs, he got into bed as Eryn put the equipment back, having not needed it. She climbed in next to Taron and nudged his arm with her nose, he lifted his arm and she nestled into the crook of his shoulder. Lightly resting her arm over his stomach. “I can hear those cogs Welsh Boi” she muttered; her eyes heavy. “Sorry” he whispered. She shook her head “Turn it around, tell yourself what you would tell me if it were me that hit you” she told him. “But you’d never...” he began but she put her finger to his lips. He nodded, “Ok I can see who is in charge” a smile flickered across his face as he too fought against the weight on his eye lids.  
When he woke, he was amazed he had managed to sleep at all. He turned and stretched, seeing the bruise on Eryn’s lip, the familiar guilt came back to him and he remembered the previous nights events. He got up and headed downstairs. The girls were watching cartoons and chatting merrily in the lounge as the nibbled on their breakfast of toast and fruit. Rosie, seeing Taron ran over and hugged him, he enveloped her in his arms “Morning Sweet pea” he said groggily “What you watching?” he plonked himself on the sofa and pulled Rosie onto his lap. “ooglies” Mari giggled. She had jam around her mouth and her bright eyes sparkled like her brothers in glee at the animated images on the TV. Barely taking her eyes off it. Guy came into he room and handed Taron a mug of coffee “Thought I heard you, your mam’s on the phone to Dr Redvers” he said squeezing Taron’s shoulder “Taron look at Daddy’s eye, he’s silly he banged it on a window” Mari laughed, her gaze not leaving the screen.  
Taron felt a pang of guilt and looked down at his drink, Guy squeezed his shoulder again. “Don’t think on it mate, really” he said “Taron? Come outside with me for a minute” he continued. The two men went out to the garden. Passing his mam Taron kissed her on the cheek and she patted his cheek. Once outside Guy handed Taron his cigarettes and lighter, knowing where he kept them hidden.  
Taron smiled not knowing he had kept that little secret and lit one. Closing his eyes as the nicotine took effect and gave him a little relief. “Why didn’t you tell Mari the truth” Taron asked. “She’s 8 Taron, she doesn’t need to know” he said, “and I need you to look at me Taron” Guy’s voice was stern. Reluctantly Taron looked at his stepfather “Enough is enough, man to man Taron I know you feel shit about this” he said pointing to his eye “But I’d take another 100 of them if you stopped letting it get to you, It was an accident, it wasn’t something that you had any bloody control over. You said what if it were one of the girls you hit, well it wasn’t and if you had we would have dealt with it. But mate, beating on yourself does no one any good, it doesn’t change it and it won’t stop it happening again. As far as I am concerned the subjects closed. If I am honest I’m fed up of your miserable mug, so come on we should be focussed on celebrating that Eryn is ok, that that fuckers gone for good this time and you two can finally close that chapter and move forward, you have wedding to plan son and so much good stuff ahead of you, right”  
Taron felt like a kid again, His real dad had been absent, and Guy had fully taken him on as his own. He never felt like Guy was anything other than his Dad and right now he needed him more than ever. He kicked his feet around and put the cigarette out, he hugged Guy. “It will sort itself out mate, trust me” Guy told him. “I do, thank you” Taron said as they separated. “Let’s go and see what your Mam’s found out from Dr Redvers and I promised the girls a bike ride this afternoon if you fancy it”  
“I think I’m going to spend time with Eryn today, but we with both join you another time, for sure” he allowed himself to smile. His Mam was upstairs talking to Eryn when they went back in and Taron joined them in their room. Meanwhile Guy went and joined the girls. “I was filling Eryn in on my chat with Dr Redvers” Tina told Taron as he climbed back into bead and pulled the cover up, running his arm around Eryn’s waist, he leant against the headboard.  
“and…” he said running his hands through his hair “H suggested a couple of things, both run by victim support apparently, Family therapy and individualised therapy. I said both sounded useful” she looked at Taron. Who looked thoughtful “No harm in trying it, I suppose? I mean I don’t really know what they do, it sounds pretty daunting if I’m honest” He looked at Eryn who was holding his hands and running her thumb in gentle strokes on it. “The EDMR had been working well, so I can’t say no, and I know I can’t keep blaming myself and getting angry all the time, so ok” he smiled a little. His mam leant over and kissed him on the forehead “Granny kisses” Taron and Eryn said together laughing. “granny??” Tina replied sarcastically “mam !!” Taron replied making Eryn laugh. “Right, I’m going to leave you two too it, You boy need more sleep and you miss need to rest too. So, I shall get Guy on room service duty, but don’t be getting too used to it, once you’re feeling better, I want you up and doing” she said smiling. “Love you Mam” Taron called out “me too” Eryn added “ shut up you two, I love you both too, now get some rest” she added as she shut the door behind her.  
“So, Welsh boi have you given up on giving up? I can smell it you know” Eryn said snuggling into Taron and resting her head on his chest, her fingers playing with the fake buttons on the neck of his vest. “Probably not the best time to try and give up right now” he sighed. Eryn nodded. “I love you too you know” she said softly. Knowing his thoughts must be bearing down on him. She pulled him down the bed so that the duvet covered them and they were face to face, making him smile “ There” she said suddenly and he looked confused “ I saw it, I’ve missed that smile of yours” she said He rolled his eyes “ That was corny” he continued to smile. “Kept you smiling though didn’t it?” she grinned. “You always make me smile” he said softly kissing her nose. “why exactly are we under here?” he asked, “We’re hiding” she told him “from?” “Everything that’s bringing you down right now babe, right now under here we are safe, it’s just me loving you and you loving me and nothing else can get us” she said kissing his top lip and then the bottom, before pressing her lips against his. Inhaling and relaxing into him and his lips, he ran his hands into her hair and let himself fall into her, allowing everything else fall away, his breaths deepened, and Eryn felt his body relax.  
She ran her hands up the nape of his neck and over the short, almost shaven hair, allowing her nails to scratch his scalp lightly as she went, he groaned gently to her touch, moving his head to direct her. His hand dropped from her hair as he placed a flat hand against the bottom of her back and pressed her closer. He could feel the arousal and stopped momentarily, listening to her breathing. She knew what he was doing and put his free hand on her chest. He smiled feeling her chest moving up and down slowly and without struggle. “How is your breathing today? He asked “I see through you; you mean am I going to need the oxygen if we go further? She said, “Like I said, how is your breathing today?” he replied a mischievous glint returning to his eye. “I think the mind is willing, but the body needs a little while longer” she answered, and he nodded.  
“Taron?” she said softly as he began to kiss her neck, “The mind is very, very willing and frustrated at the body” she laughed, “Good to know” he smiled. “Come on, close your eyes lady, the more rest you have the sooner that body will catch up with that incredibly filthy mind of yours” he laughed lifting the duvet of their faces and adjusting position so they could spoon.


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57  
Eryn made it her mission to get out of the house the next day, she had spent enough time ‘getting better’ from things. She also knew that a bit of fresh air was what Taron and the family needed. She and Tina were singing and dancing to the radio as they made the picnic. The girls joining into the Disney tunes, Mari sat on the kitchen side and passed the things Eryn needed to her and her mam, while Rosie put the things in the picnic bags. Guy was already complaining about trying to fit everything the women told him would be need ‘just in case’ into the two camper vans. A sleepy, bed headed Taron walked into the chaos, bleary eyed and stretched. His top lifting enough to give Eryn access to his stomach, she poked it making him jump and laugh. The women laughed back at him, “ Ok is this what you meant by you lot ganging up on me?” he asked as Mari and Rosie decided tickling Taron was more fun than they were doing, Eryn helped Mari off the side and the two girls chased Taron in to lounge, where all that could be heard were squeals and giggles from all three.  
“Right! Taron get dressed please, Girls jackets and shoes” Tina told her brood, who all groaned at their fun being interrupted, but Taron jumped up and ran upstairs, the girls chasing him. Tina shook her head “You sure you want babies with him, sometimes I think he still is one” she smiled at Eryn, who shrugged and grabbed her own jacket and wellies.  
Sat waiting in the camper for Taron, Eryn chose a playlist of theirs’s that they were still adding too and began a George Ezra track Eryn loved. Taron sauntered out of the house, as though the whole family weren’t waiting, his sunglasses on the neck of his top and old favourite cocked slightly on his head. He climbed in winding the window down Guy leant in “Ok so I have a quick detour, so we will meet you there” Taron told guy. Who grinned knowingly and nodded, Taron raised the window a bit and started the engine.  
“Detour?” Eryn asked “Don’t tell me another of your surprises” she said shaking her head. “You’ll like this I promise” he told her, squeezing her knee. “You got everything, the canister and masks? He asked “Yes, babe” Eryn replied sarcastically. She had barely used it and her throat felt almost back to normal, but she knew it was away to ease his anxiety and for now she’d not bug him too much over it.

The couple were in the car for no more than 5minutes when Taron pulled in. Eryn confused climbed out and joined Taron on the pavement. “Come on” he said loving the perplexed and slightly worried expression on Eryn’s face. He led her through a large set of gates and into the most beautiful area she had ever seen. “Close your eyes” he told her. She looked a little worried but did as she was told. She left Taron take her hands and began walking her over the soft grass bank. A few steps later and he was behind her, his arms around her waist. “wait one more minute” he said. She heard him settling his breathing and prepared herself. “Open them” he said.  
In front of Eryn was the prettiest, sweetest glade she’d ever scene. Over the tree was a clear and stunning view of the ocean and rooftops of Aber. Where they stood was a slightly higher bank and the glade spread out like a clearing in the wood. The sunlight dappled by the trees, gave the whole place a magical feeling.  
“On the 28th September 2021, Eryn Riley Will you marry me here?  
Taron whispered into her ear, his head on her shoulder. She bite her lip taking in his words, she closed her eyes and took a huge breath. “Are you kidding welsh boi? She cried turning to him. “Is that a yes?” he said his eyes shining and a massive grin radiating heat. Eryn felt her stomach drop as she looked at him and the enormity of her feelings for him, threatened to overwhelm her. “That… is a hell yeah” she grinned back at him. Grabbing his face her lips hit his and with everything she had she kissed him, he too let go of everything that was in his head and kissed the woman in front of him with everything in him. 

After a short walk around the glen, Taron and Eryn climbed back in for the journey to a campsite north of Clarach, with private access to the sea. The couple saw Guys camper and Taron’s parents setting up, while the girls were running and chasing each other. “One day that’ll be us you know Welsh boi, you ready for that? She asked laughing “If I am half the father that man has been to me, then I think I am” he smiled back, resting his hand on Eryn’s knee as they pulled up next to the girls. “Where were you? You took ages” Mari complained “We had to visit somewhere on the way, my little bug” Eryn smiled as she scooped Mari up onto her hip “I think it is the perfect place for a fairy or two” she whispered her Mari looked at Eryn confused and then at Taron. “She means we found the place we are going to get married and we need a couple of flower girls? Hey Rosie, can you think of anyone that might want the job? He teased as both girls became wide eyed and looked at Taron excitedly, Mari wriggled free and the girl ran to their parents to tell them the good news. “Fairies?” Taron asked. As he went to begin setting up “I think it would be a perfect theme for the place, don’t you? Plus imagine those two all dressed in fairy gear” Taron laughed. “What the hell are you gonna have me wearing Riley?” he asked heaving the awning out. Eryn raised her eyebrows as his parents arrived to help them. Tina pulled Eryn into a hug “Did you pin him down to a date at least?” she asked “28th September 2021” “Oh but that’s not until next year” moaned Rosie Eryn bent down a little “But Rosie, we have sooo much we have to do to get it all ready, it will go so quick and I need you to help me, can you be my right hand woman?” she asked pretending to look flustered. Rosie smiled, she loved having responsibility and Eryn knew that being the quieter of the girls, she was less likely to put herself forward. “Thank goodness, I don’t have a clue ‘Roe’ I swear” she smiled Rosie ran off to tell her sister and brag. “Thanks for that Eryn, she’s really chuffed. But you’re right we do have a fair bit to organise, you ready for it?” Tina said. Overhearing Taron slipped his arm around her waist. “Some of it’s pretty emotional, isn’t it babe” he said reassuringly. He kissed her cheek. “We did kind of start, but we didn’t expect there to be so many emotions wrapped up in it all, especially having no one much on my side” Eryn said dropping her head “Which is why we aren’t doing a bride and groom split, we will have everyone mixed together” Taron smiled looking at Eryn who kissed him back. “yuk” said Mari “Are you two going to snog all the time, Mam where is my swimsuit I want to go on the beach?” she interrupted. Taron suddenly leant Eryn back and Kissed her passionately on the lips, raising her back up “You mean like that bug?” he teased, but Mari shook her head raising her eyebrow, in the exact same way he did. He mimicked her as she laughed and headed off to look for her swimwear. Tina following her youngest.  
Once the camper was set up, Guy and Taron headed off in search of a chippy, while Eryn and Tina watched the girls, Sat in deck chairs with a glass of wine each. They chatted about nothing. “Eryn tell me I’m being nosey, but Taron hasn’t really told me much about your family and the situation, I want you to know you can talk to me about any of it if you need to” She said kindly. “I know Tina, I do. I mean what is there to say, my mother and I struggled all my life I felt like a nuisance and well we never had a relationship that was mother and daughter at all. It’s taken years of therapy to understand that I was just fuel to her and that the best thing to do was rid myself of her from my life, not that is easy. When I did all my family decided to freeze me out rather than her, which hurt. But I can’t force people to be who I want them to be, I must accept them for who they are and choose if I want that in my life. God, I sound like my therapist” she groaned. Tina rested her hand on Eryn’s arm “I am glad you made the changes you needed; I know what it’s like to have everyone think your making the wrong decisions” she smiled. “You’ve had a lot of therapy, that must be why you’re so good with Taron when he gets himself into a state” she said. “I don’t know that I’m any good, but I guess all the therapy has taught me a fair bit, I certainly learnt that not at therapy is the same and has equal validity, I also guess I know when someone needs more than general support, like Taron right now” she sighed “ I’ve put him well and truly through the mill since we met, with everything that’s happened, sometimes an outside voice is more powerful, because you know it’s not biased” Eryn smiled at Tina. “What about you? How are you doing? Can’t be easy watching Taron go through all that’s happened?” Eryn asked. Tina was a little surprised “It’s not often I get asked that, I suppose Mam’s just get on with it all don’t they, they are the rock etc. But Eryn firstly, you didn’t bring this on him or yourself. You really need to believe that, sweetheart. It makes me sad to hear when you do that, you and Taron are so much the same in taking the blame for things you can’t control or aren’t even your fault. I hope you both look at that when we speak to these professionals”, she said stopping to warn the girls to stop fighting and sipping her glass of wine. “It’s not easy watching your child suffering or struggling, But Eryn honestly I am glad you are here, I feel better knowing he has you and truly I see how much you support each other, and challenge him when he’s being difficult. He needs that. Some of his previous relationships were with girls who were either to easy on him and easy to please, or they took advantage of him, using head games that meant he would just give in and let them have all the control. You guys have just the right balance.” She smiled again sighing as she looked at her empty glass. Before Eryn could say anything, Guy and Taron arrived back with food and the group moved into the little campsite they had set up.  
With each Camper parallel the doors of each opening out facing each other they had a space in between they put two camping tables together to create a little communal space. Taron had a small outdoor heater he placed in the centre and being girlie, Tina made Guy string up some lights that ran along their camper across the open end and round Eryn and Taron’s van. It was cosy and really added to the family atmosphere. As food was dished out and the group settled on the chairs, chatting and laughing. Talking about everything and nothing. Eryn noticed how relaxed Taron had become and how he no longer hesitated before touching her or asked about her breathing. She took to staring at him adoringly when he wasn’t looking. Happiness taking her over. She absentmindedly rested her hand on her stomach, not wanting to jinx herself but watching Taron with his sisters, made her incredibly broody and not having been concentrating on it, she had discovered that morning that she was well passed the date the transplant rejection was most likely. It meant it had taken and she was preoccupied now with thoughts of what could be now her body was ready and able.  
That evening the couple snuggled into the warmth of the duvet, listening to the soft sounds of the waves as they crashed against the shore. Taron read as Eryn scrolled fairy dresses. Taron leaned over peeking at the screen disappointed “Thought you we writing again” he mused “hoping for something dirty were you?” Eryn replied “and all you got was fairies” she chuckled. He blushed red momentarily and pouted “Maybe” he said going back to his book. His free hand rested on the top of her thigh, where her nightie hem lay. His fingers played with the plaited edging.  
Sighing, Eryn shut the laptop down and tucked it into a small slot that was perfect for it next to the bed. Taking Taron’s roving hand she put it around her waist and snuggled onto his chest. Deliberatly being mischievous and trying to ruin his reading. She started to stroke his ear, running her finger up the edge to the small section that dipped slightly, Something else they had in common. She continued to be annoying, blowing the page of the book slightly making the page turn. Taron smirked refusing to give into her. He move his hand to hold down the edge of the page. So Eryn moved her position, so she could take his ear lop between her lips, she started to run the tip of her tongue around the soft skin and lightly bit it. Taron unable to control the groan he let out. “Taron” she said coquettishly as she looked at him through her eyelashes and let them flutter delicately at him.  
“Jesus Woman” he growled chucking the book across the bed and crawling on top of her “Did you need something from me?” he asked smiling down at her. She bite her lip, something that had now become a code between the two of them for ‘Sex please’ “I was only going to say that my body’s caught up with my mind” she said cheekily. “Oh really, I had noticed you haven’t needed the mask for a while” he smiled “Are you sure though?” Eryn pulled Taron down to her and kissed him as passionately as possible, her tongue invading his mouth intensely and her finger nails running up his back and into his neck. Pressing deeply into his lips and feeling that familiar tingle as he pressed down into hers. Their tongues meeting and dancing as they met. Taron pulled a way for a moment and climbed out of bed, Eryn sighed grumpily “Oi I wash enjoying that welsh boi, what are you up to?” Taron pulled out the mask and oxygen canister, laying it at the edge of the bed behind him “Really” she asked annoyed but Taron grinned “Just in case you need it” he smirked “Because it’s been far too long since I was able to do what I have in mind and I think you might need it” he wiggled his eyebrows at her. She chuckled lightly “C’mon then show me what you got? She teased. His eyes immediately turned darker and the tone in his voice changed as he ran his hands along her bare legs and pulled them apart. She felt her stomach twist in excitement. As he moved toward her his hands running up over her hips and torso, reaching her breasts his head dropped and he pressed his lips into the soft flesh, pulling the nightdress down. Eryn was quicker and pulled it off her fully exposing herself. Taron shuddered in erotic anticipation as he quickly took his own nightwear off. He slowly moved himself so his dick was pressing against her pubic bone, sending sparks through her. He kissed her stomach as she ran her fingers through his hair and tugged lightly on it. Making a move downward Taron growled at her. His mouth was soon inside her and making short work of her clit as he sucked at it. His tongue flicking it as his fingers slid inside. He stopped  
Looking at Eryn, she knew it has come to him that this was the first time they were doing this since the transplant. He wanted Eryn to know nothing had changed, but wanted also to be thoughtful about what he was doing. He moved back up the bed and kissed her neck. “Is it weird” she breathed “I mean is it different or something?” she asked “No baby not at all, I just want to take it slow, being the first time since the op, oh shit Eryn I haven’t got any condoms, we didn’t need them before and …” Eryn’s look stopped him. He smiled “So are we trying for real then?” he grinned a little giddy. “Well I thought that was the plan” she said “It is absolutely, just its exciting” he grinned and kissed Eryn hard as she laughed and grinned too. “Fuck! Taron weddings and babies in one damn day, if you don’t hurry up and make love to me I think I will explode” she laughed.  
“Your wish is my command!” He grinned and resumed his previous position. This time he had to stop every few minutes, unable to stop grinning.


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58  
Eryn made it her mission to get out of the house the next day, she had spent enough time ‘getting better’ from things. She also knew that a bit of fresh air was what Taron and the family needed. She and Tina were singing and dancing to the radio as they made the picnic. The girls joining into the Disney tunes, Mari sat on the kitchen side and passed the things Eryn needed to her and her mam, while Rosie put the things in the picnic bags. Guy was already complaining about trying to fit everything the women told him would be need ‘just in case’ into the two camper vans. A sleepy, bed headed Taron walked into the chaos, bleary eyed and stretched. His top lifting enough to give Eryn access to his stomach, she poked it making him jump and laugh. The women laughed back at him, “ Ok is this what you meant by you lot ganging up on me?” he asked as Mari and Rosie decided tickling Taron was more fun than they were doing, Eryn helped Mari off the side and the two girls chased Taron in to lounge, where all that could be heard were squeals and giggles from all three.  
“Right! Taron get dressed please, Girls jackets and shoes” Tina told her brood, who all groaned at their fun being interrupted, but Taron jumped up and ran upstairs, the girls chasing him. Tina shook her head “You sure you want babies with him, sometimes I think he still is one” she smiled at Eryn, who shrugged and grabbed her own jacket and wellies.  
Sat waiting in the camper for Taron, Eryn chose a playlist of theirs’s that they were still adding too and began a George Ezra track Eryn loved. Taron sauntered out of the house, as though the whole family weren’t waiting, his sunglasses on the neck of his top and old favourite cocked slightly on his head. He climbed in winding the window down Guy leant in “Ok so I have a quick detour, so we will meet you there” Taron told guy. Who grinned knowingly and nodded, Taron raised the window a bit and started the engine.  
“Detour?” Eryn asked “Don’t tell me another of your surprises” she said shaking her head. “You’ll like this I promise” he told her, squeezing her knee. “You got everything, the canister and masks? He asked “Yes, babe” Eryn replied sarcastically. She had barely used it and her throat felt almost back to normal, but she knew it was away to ease his anxiety and for now she’d not bug him too much over it.

The couple were in the car for no more than 5minutes when Taron pulled in. Eryn confused climbed out and joined Taron on the pavement. “Come on” he said loving the perplexed and slightly worried expression on Eryn’s face. He led her through a large set of gates and into the most beautiful area she had ever seen. “Close your eyes” he told her. She looked a little worried but did as she was told. She left Taron take her hands and began walking her over the soft grass bank. A few steps later and he was behind her, his arms around her waist. “wait one more minute” he said. She heard him settling his breathing and prepared herself. “Open them” he said.  
In front of Eryn was the prettiest, sweetest glade she’d ever scene. Over the tree was a clear and stunning view of the ocean and rooftops of Aber. Where they stood was a slightly higher bank and the glade spread out like a clearing in the wood. The sunlight dappled by the trees, gave the whole place a magical feeling.  
“On the 28th September 2021, Eryn Riley Will you marry me here?  
Taron whispered into her ear, his head on her shoulder. She bite her lip taking in his words, she closed her eyes and took a huge breath. “Are you kidding welsh boi? She cried turning to him. “Is that a yes?” he said his eyes shining and a massive grin radiating heat. Eryn felt her stomach drop as she looked at him and the enormity of her feelings for him, threatened to overwhelm her. “That… is a hell yeah” she grinned back at him. Grabbing his face her lips hit his and with everything she had she kissed him, he too let go of everything that was in his head and kissed the woman in front of him with everything in him. 

After a short walk around the glen, Taron and Eryn climbed back in for the journey to a campsite north of Clarach, with private access to the sea. The couple saw Guys camper and Taron’s parents setting up, while the girls were running and chasing each other. “One day that’ll be us you know Welsh boi, you ready for that? She asked laughing “If I am half the father that man has been to me, then I think I am” he smiled back, resting his hand on Eryn’s knee as they pulled up next to the girls. “Where were you? You took ages” Mari complained “We had to visit somewhere on the way, my little bug” Eryn smiled as she scooped Mari up onto her hip “I think it is the perfect place for a fairy or two” she whispered her Mari looked at Eryn confused and then at Taron. “She means we found the place we are going to get married and we need a couple of flower girls? Hey Rosie, can you think of anyone that might want the job? He teased as both girls became wide eyed and looked at Taron excitedly, Mari wriggled free and the girl ran to their parents to tell them the good news. “Fairies?” Taron asked. As he went to begin setting up “I think it would be a perfect theme for the place, don’t you? Plus imagine those two all dressed in fairy gear” Taron laughed. “What the hell are you gonna have me wearing Riley?” he asked heaving the awning out. Eryn raised her eyebrows as his parents arrived to help them. Tina pulled Eryn into a hug “Did you pin him down to a date at least?” she asked “28th September 2021” “Oh but that’s not until next year” moaned Rosie Eryn bent down a little “But Rosie, we have sooo much we have to do to get it all ready, it will go so quick and I need you to help me, can you be my right hand woman?” she asked pretending to look flustered. Rosie smiled, she loved having responsibility and Eryn knew that being the quieter of the girls, she was less likely to put herself forward. “Thank goodness, I don’t have a clue ‘Roe’ I swear” she smiled Rosie ran off to tell her sister and brag. “Thanks for that Eryn, she’s really chuffed. But you’re right we do have a fair bit to organise, you ready for it?” Tina said. Overhearing Taron slipped his arm around her waist. “Some of it’s pretty emotional, isn’t it babe” he said reassuringly. He kissed her cheek. “We did kind of start, but we didn’t expect there to be so many emotions wrapped up in it all, especially having no one much on my side” Eryn said dropping her head “Which is why we aren’t doing a bride and groom split, we will have everyone mixed together” Taron smiled looking at Eryn who kissed him back. “yuk” said Mari “Are you two going to snog all the time, Mam where is my swimsuit I want to go on the beach?” she interrupted. Taron suddenly leant Eryn back and Kissed her passionately on the lips, raising her back up “You mean like that bug?” he teased, but Mari shook her head raising her eyebrow, in the exact same way he did. He mimicked her as she laughed and headed off to look for her swimwear. Tina following her youngest.  
Once the camper was set up, Guy and Taron headed off in search of a chippy, while Eryn and Tina watched the girls, Sat in deck chairs with a glass of wine each. They chatted about nothing. “Eryn tell me I’m being nosey, but Taron hasn’t really told me much about your family and the situation, I want you to know you can talk to me about any of it if you need to” She said kindly. “I know Tina, I do. I mean what is there to say, my mother and I struggled all my life I felt like a nuisance and well we never had a relationship that was mother and daughter at all. It’s taken years of therapy to understand that I was just fuel to her and that the best thing to do was rid myself of her from my life, not that is easy. When I did all my family decided to freeze me out rather than her, which hurt. But I can’t force people to be who I want them to be, I must accept them for who they are and choose if I want that in my life. God, I sound like my therapist” she groaned. Tina rested her hand on Eryn’s arm “I am glad you made the changes you needed; I know what it’s like to have everyone think your making the wrong decisions” she smiled. “You’ve had a lot of therapy, that must be why you’re so good with Taron when he gets himself into a state” she said. “I don’t know that I’m any good, but I guess all the therapy has taught me a fair bit, I certainly learnt that not at therapy is the same and has equal validity, I also guess I know when someone needs more than general support, like Taron right now” she sighed “ I’ve put him well and truly through the mill since we met, with everything that’s happened, sometimes an outside voice is more powerful, because you know it’s not biased” Eryn smiled at Tina. “What about you? How are you doing? Can’t be easy watching Taron go through all that’s happened?” Eryn asked. Tina was a little surprised “It’s not often I get asked that, I suppose Mam’s just get on with it all don’t they, they are the rock etc. But Eryn firstly, you didn’t bring this on him or yourself. You really need to believe that, sweetheart. It makes me sad to hear when you do that, you and Taron are so much the same in taking the blame for things you can’t control or aren’t even your fault. I hope you both look at that when we speak to these professionals”, she said stopping to warn the girls to stop fighting and sipping her glass of wine. “It’s not easy watching your child suffering or struggling, But Eryn honestly I am glad you are here, I feel better knowing he has you and truly I see how much you support each other, and challenge him when he’s being difficult. He needs that. Some of his previous relationships were with girls who were either to easy on him and easy to please, or they took advantage of him, using head games that meant he would just give in and let them have all the control. You guys have just the right balance.” She smiled again sighing as she looked at her empty glass. Before Eryn could say anything, Guy and Taron arrived back with food and the group moved into the little campsite they had set up.  
With each Camper parallel the doors of each opening out facing each other they had a space in between they put two camping tables together to create a little communal space. Taron had a small outdoor heater he placed in the centre and being girlie, Tina made Guy string up some lights that ran along their camper across the open end and round Eryn and Taron’s van. It was cosy and really added to the family atmosphere. As food was dished out and the group settled on the chairs, chatting and laughing. Talking about everything and nothing. Eryn noticed how relaxed Taron had become and how he no longer hesitated before touching her or asked about her breathing. She took to staring at him adoringly when he wasn’t looking. Happiness taking her over. She absentmindedly rested her hand on her stomach, not wanting to jinx herself but watching Taron with his sisters, made her incredibly broody and not having been concentrating on it, she had discovered that morning that she was well passed the date the transplant rejection was most likely. It meant it had taken and she was preoccupied now with thoughts of what could be now her body was ready and able.  
That evening the couple snuggled into the warmth of the duvet, listening to the soft sounds of the waves as they crashed against the shore. Taron read as Eryn scrolled fairy dresses. Taron leaned over peeking at the screen disappointed “Thought you we writing again” he mused “hoping for something dirty, were you?” Eryn replied “and all you got was fairies” she chuckled. He blushed red momentarily and pouted “Maybe” he said going back to his book. His free hand rested on the top of her thigh, where her nightie hem lay. His fingers played with the plaited edging.  
Sighing, Eryn shut the laptop down and tucked it into a small slot that was perfect for it next to the bed. Taking Taron’s roving hand, she put it around her waist and snuggled onto his chest. Deliberatly being mischievous and trying to ruin his reading. She started to stroke his ear, running her finger up the edge to the small section that dipped slightly, Something else they had in common. She continued to be annoying, blowing the page of the book slightly making the page turn. Taron smirked refusing to give into her. He move his hand to hold down the edge of the page. So, Eryn moved her position, so she could take his ear lop between her lips, she started to run the tip of her tongue around the soft skin and lightly bit it. Taron unable to control the groan he let out. “Taron” she said coquettishly as she looked at him through her eyelashes and let them flutter delicately at him.  
“Jesus Woman” he growled chucking the book across the bed and crawling on top of her “Did you need something from me?” he asked smiling down at her. She bite her lip, something that had now become a code between the two of them for ‘Sex please’ “I was only going to say that my body’s caught up with my mind” she said cheekily. “Oh really, I had noticed you haven’t needed the mask for a while” he smiled “Are you sure though?” Eryn pulled Taron down to her and kissed him as passionately as possible, her tongue invading his mouth intensely and her finger nails running up his back and into his neck. Pressing deeply into his lips and feeling that familiar tingle as he pressed down into hers. Their tongues meeting and dancing as they met. Taron pulled a way for a moment and climbed out of bed, Eryn sighed grumpily “Oi I wash enjoying that welsh boi, what are you up to?” Taron pulled out the mask and oxygen canister, laying it at the edge of the bed behind him “Really” she asked annoyed but Taron grinned “Just in case you need it” he smirked “Because it’s been far too long since I was able to do what I have in mind and I think you might need it” he wiggled his eyebrows at her. She chuckled lightly “C’mon then show me what you got? She teased. His eyes immediately turned darker and the tone in his voice changed as he ran his hands along her bare legs and pulled them apart. She felt her stomach twist in excitement. As he moved toward her his hands running up over her hips and torso, reaching her breasts his head dropped and he pressed his lips into the soft flesh, pulling the nightdress down. Eryn was quicker and pulled it off her fully exposing herself. Taron shuddered in erotic anticipation as he quickly took his own nightwear off. He slowly moved himself so his dick was pressing against her pubic bone, sending sparks through her. He kissed her stomach as she ran her fingers through his hair and tugged lightly on it. Making a move downward Taron growled at her. His mouth was soon inside her and making short work of her clit as he sucked at it. His tongue flicking it as his fingers slid inside. He stopped  
Looking at Eryn, she knew it has come to him that this was the first time they were doing this since the transplant. He wanted Eryn to know nothing had changed, but wanted also to be thoughtful about what he was doing. He moved back up the bed and kissed her neck. “Is it weird” she breathed “I mean is it different or something?” she asked “No baby not at all, I just want to take it slow, being the first time since the op, oh shit Eryn I haven’t got any condoms, we didn’t need them before and …” Eryn’s look stopped him. He smiled “So are we trying for real then?” he grinned a little giddy. “Well I thought that was the plan” she said “It is absolutely, just its exciting” he grinned and kissed Eryn hard as she laughed and grinned too. “Fuck! Taron weddings and babies in one damn day, if you don’t hurry up and make love to me, I think I will explode” she laughed.  
“Your wish is my command!” He grinned and resumed his previous position. This time he had to stop every few minutes, unable to stop grinning.


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59  
United Artists did all that they could, but it was clear that the best that could be done was delay Taron’s new project. Cancelling the promotion cost Taron, a lot of money and as much as the agency did their best to limit the impact. Taron had to be told. He was sat in the garden, frustrated. Not at the money, but at letting so many people down. He wondered how badly it had hurt his reputation. Eryn came out to check on him, having overheard most of what was said. She sat next to him and rubbed his knee. “Is there anything I can do?” she asked laying her head on his shoulder. “There isn’t much anyone can do, it’s how this industry works, I signed contracts and failed to keep my promises” he sighed “But it wasn’t like you couldn’t be bothered, you had a legit reason, surely they could understand that” she to sighed. “Not how it works babe” he sounded glum. Eryn took his hand “come on, come with me I think I have something that will cheer you up” she said leading him upstairs.  
“We have the house to ourselves all day today” she smiled and I, well, here” she said handing him a catalogue. The pair climbed onto the bed and got comfy together. As Taron looked at the catalogue his face turned red and he swallowed hard. “Damn was I that awful, we need help?” he asked making her chuckle “No, but if I am going to write about this stuff, I was thinking I need to know about it all” she said sheepishly reaching under the bed and placing a rather large silver bag on the bed. “Bloody hell” he said looking from the catalogue to the bag. “Is that what I think it is?” he said looking like a naughty schoolboy. He jumped off the bed and shut the door. “I know we are alone, but I feel better with that closed” he said. He looked excited which calmed Eryn’s nerves down. “Have you ever used anything like this?” he asked. Now it was Eryn’s turned to go red “Maybe” she squeaked. Taron mocked shock, “well what a voyage of discovery todays is going to be” he said “I may have had a rabbit at one time” she smiled coyly. “Wow, well then are you opening that or are you expecting me too?” he asked. “go on” she urged him “I know what’s in there I bought it all” she replied “ Oh god how much have you got, do we need like a safe word or” he laughed as he ripped open the bag and tipped the contents on the bed. Eryn had played it pretty safe, watching the short videos on the website before buying anything. Taron looked at the assortment of items. He picked up a normal vibrator, “Now I know what that is, but how to use it?” he shrugged, picking up the love eggs his eyes widened and a mischievous smile crossed his face, “Hey this ones got a remote control” he grinned as Eryn held up a ring shaped device named “little devil” looking at it’s shape, he looked at her open mouthed, until he picked up a flesh light and dropped it laughing hysterically. “Omg what the fuck is that??” he chucked it at Eryn who screwed up her face “Oh I don’t know about that one” she laughed “Am I supposed to fuck that thing instead of you, omg that’s ridiculous” he laughed. Taron began to look up the items and read the blurb out loud, both Taron and Eryn laughing and giggling like naughty children.  
“Are you really up for trying some of these?” Taron asked Eryn. “Babe it’s for my writing” she fluttered her eyelashes and burst into laughter. Spinning the cock ring on her index finger. Taron groaned “Omg what am I doing?” he said as he pulled off his top and trousers. Eryn stripped too and wriggled under the covers. “If I’m going to let you do this, then I get to try those egg things out on you” he said speaking slightly more seriously now. Eryn nodded “Okay” her eyes sparkling with excitement. He removed his boxers and she leant in to kiss him, he gulped looking at her hoping she didn’t see how nervous he was of doing this, “ You don’t have to do this baby, if you feel even a little bit uncomfortable” she said knowing exactly what he was feeling. “No, I do, it just new” he said looking deeply into her eyes “It’s pretty hot actually” he admitted. As she ran her hand up his neck and pulled him to her kissing him tenderly. Running her hands over his chest, and down to his cock, he was already hard enough. “Shall I? or do you want to?” she asked “You do it” he breathed as she slipped the ring over the tip, and slowly down the shaft, the second ring around his balls, made him take a sharp breath, Eryn looked quickly at him to check he was okay. Seeing the arousal already showing in his facial expressions. She grinned moving to him she licked the tip of his dick and ran it around the head, making him groan and his legs stretch out. “Oh God, wow” he groaned. As she slowly turned the vibe on. “ uh oh shit that’s” he said as she moved up to face him, He took her face in his hand and kissed her, their lips smashing against each other as he felt the vibrations running down his shaft, the small triangular vibing sections were designed to two person pleasure and Eryn, having watched the video knew what to do she lined it up against her clit as Taron watched, her face change as the device hit right on it. “Oh god she groaned” Pulling Taron to a sitting position she wrapped her legs around his waist, and he found a movement that intensified the stimulation for them both. “Damn Eryn this is fucking intense” he breathed as she closed her eyes tight and he felt her come harder than she had ever done, she was completely speechless as she came down and kissed him as if she were a vampire after blood, she was on fire and needed Taron to feel it too. Pulling the ring off him, She pressed him into her and moved her hips hard against him back and forth. Taron was used to be the one in charge of making sure his partner came, this was something else and as he came, he felt a new connection with Eryn. Being to focus of the situation was exhilarating and being the centre of attention thrilled him. Panting hard the pair, couldn’t help bursting into laughter. “Can we please wait until you get your choice, I’m not sure I can cope” Eryn laughed loudly. Taron lay flat on his back, his eyes wide and a massive grin on his face. Nodding. Eryn lay on her stomach looking at him. “Told you I could cheer you up” she laughed. He nodded “I think I am going to enjoy the research for this new book” he smiled.  
============  
The couples toys were tucked safely away after their fun afternoon, as they lay in bed. Reading Taron’s book taking a chapter at a time, as they had before. Taron put his glasses on Eryn while she read, “You look cute in my glasses” he told her “Not as cute as you do in them” she told him. As she continued reading. Taron took the hairbrush from the bedside and began to brush Eryn’s hair as she read, She loved it when he did this, it had started when she was unable to reach up to do it properly after her Hysterectomy. But whenever she remembered now, she would nudge him and pout, holding the hairbrush. Truthfully, he adore it too, he loved the way her hair smelt and the softness of it. The pink simmering along with streaks of blonde and little sections of white that he kept quiet about, though he loved them, he knew she’d feel insecure if he made her aware, he had seen them. He ran the brush expertly through the back section of her hair as she held the book up so he could see to read. Closing her eyes and listening to his lullaby voice, she sighed contentedly. She would have stayed like this forever if she could. But knew their time was limited as soon Taron would need to be heading back to London and she had to decide whether to remain in Aber or travel back with him. She and Taron still wanted to find their own place in Aber, now they were not wanting to return to the apartment. Taron had sweetly said it was a good thing they were getting this new place as they could now chose it together. Eryn wanted one with a sea view but was easy otherwise. Taron though was concerned that wherever they chose was secure enough, both didn’t say but were instinctively looking for a place with a decent place to put the nursery.  
At 4pm, The girls came bustling in from their first day back at school, nagging their mam for snacks and making enough noise to announce themselves. “Now you two leave Taron and Eryn be please, they still need to rest ok” Tina told the girls and directed them into the garden with their snacks. She took the couple a mug of tea each and knocked on the door. Taron opened it, “Mam what are you doing? I thought you guys might want one, anyway here” she said handing a bunch of papers with adverts for local places. “Aunty went round this morning and got these, I’ve starred the ones I like” she winked and handed Eryn her cuppa. Taron climbed back into bed and started to look at the pile. “Ok well I shall leave you to it” Tina smiled “Mam, thanks and tell Aunty Thanks please” these are great. He said passing one he liked to Eryn “Not a problem, I’ll call you when dinner’s ready” she smiled as she walked down. She knew marking the one she liked which happened to be just down the road from her home, meant Eryn in particular would take extra care to check it out. Stretching out on the bed he ran his arm around Eryn’s waist. “I’m knackered woman and it’s all your fault” he grinned. She handed him one of the adverts “That one” ring them, I’m going for a wee and when I get back we can have a nap Welsh boi, not my fault you can’t keep up with me” she wiggled her bum cheekily as she left.  
Looking at the paper, it was the one his mam had starred, making him smile. It was perfect on paper. A sweet little 3 bed cottage at the top of the road. He dialled the agent and made an appointment. Eryn climbed into bed as he completed the call. “Tomorrow 3pm” he told her. “Now come here, I need a cwtch” he smiled softly at her, “can I tell you something” he asked Eryn as he stroked her hair, her head on his chest. “No” she replied simply laughing “Of course you can silly” she added “ I was being serious actually” he complained “ Sorry, go on baby what was it you wanted to tell me? She asked more serious. “I really enjoyed what we did earlier baby” he began “Ok” she replied “ It was nice to be the one getting the attention, usually I think put so much pressure on ‘performing’ I don’t always remember to enjoy it all” he said Eryn smiled seeing him opening up and talking to her. “Taron I didn’t know, I’m glad you told me baby, I want us to both enjoy it equally and if you want me to do something or I’m not doing something I want you to tell me” Eryn told him. He kissed her head and breathed her aroma in. “I didn’t really know myself until today” he admitted “Well now I know” she smiled. “Go to sleep now Welsh Boi, we have a house to buy tomorrow for our babies” she laughed lightly.


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60  
Eryn stood on the raised decking and grinned, “I can actually hear Mari” she told Taron as he wrapped his arms around her. “Well then, That’s it done. Just the moving in bit to get done” he said kissing her on the cheek. “Oh, you weren’t joking, I just heard her too” he laughed. Eryn turned round to face him “Tell me that I’m not dreaming all of this” She smiled. He looked deeply into her eyes “I know I feel the same thing, but it really is” he said softly kissing her cutely. “It’s not too much too soon” She asked as she dropped her arms and held his hand as the walked back into the cottage. “It can’t happen soon enough as far as I’m concerned” he replied squeezing her hand in his. They stopped on the front porch while Taron made sure the door was locked. The cottage was set back and not visible from the road, with a long driveway and double gates at the bottom. It gave Taron the sense of security and privacy he craved. But from the Main bedroom the view over Aber and the coastline was incredible and Eryn knew then that she had to be honest with Taron. “I’m staying here” she said waiting to hear what he said “Ok” he answered “for?” he took her hand again once he had locked the gates.  
He turned the opposite direction to his mam’s thinking this was a conversation to have walking as opposed to being cooped up in the house with others around. “For good, I want to create a home and I feel safe here. I mean of course I will come up to London when you are there if I can, but I don’t want to base myself in London anymore” she finished holding her breath. “I can see why, I get it. It’s just thinking how much I mean to come home and don’t, I worried if we will get much time together, I know you have been amazing about the apartment, but you’ve not really settled there” he told her. She smiled inwardly knowing he had seen wat she had tried to hide from him and knowing her knew it had nothing to do with him.  
“It’s just better here, everything. My writing, your family… sorry my family is here” she grinned. He smiled and stroked her hand with his thumb. “So are you coming back with me tomorrow?” he asked knowing that he was filming in the London areas for his new project. “I’m coming back with you of course, besides we need to have these meeting with united about press releases and all that jazz” she rolled her eyes. “oh shit” he said “Yeah forgot about all that” “See that’s another thing, even with the massive stories, the paps can’t get through the Welsh barrier” she smiled again. “I’ll stay in London until we finalise the move and all the boring stuffs done with” she told him. He nodded “Who knows you might be knocked up by then anyway” he smirked “Knocked up?” she scowled. “Keep bringing out your silver bags of fun and there’s a good chance I’d say” he laughed and kissed her cheekily on the neck as they rounded the corner back to his Mam’s.  
=======  
“Well I think after everything you guys have done amazing” Jack told Taron as the group settled in the pub. They brought the round of drinks over and everyone took theirs “To Taron and Eryn” the group chorused. Eryn and the girls were chatting about the wedding and a scream went up when she asked them to be bridesmaids. “Too right , without me you too wouldn’t ever have gotten it together” Meghan laughed “No way, Taron was in there way before you got involved” jack replied “You weren’t in the Loo with us Jack, I remember Eryn was chatting to herself trying to decide whether to give him a go? She laughed “Were you?” he asked her as she blushed “Maybe” she grinned back shyly. “Awww” he replied and kissed her.  
“Oh god get a room” Niamh called with a mock scowl. The couple broke apart laughing “Awww it’s true love” Meghan added sarcastically. The night was relaxing and the perfect way to spend their last night for a while. But soon Eryn could see Taron getting weary and a little too tipsy. “Ok we are heading off guys” she told the group and got her jacket as the group groaned. “Fine, you lot carry this one home then” she said and the group agreed laughing. A rosy cheeked Taron frowned “Hey I’m not that pissed” he pouted. “And that’s why we are going now” Eryn smiled linking her arm in his.  
Truthfully, Taron wasn’t particularly pissed but Eryn had a plan, slipping a smooth device into Taron’s pocket as they left. Knowing he would look for his cigarettes, he pulled the device out of his pocket with the pack, he lit his cig as he studied the item in his hand. A look of recognition crossed his face and he looked at Eryn. Who smiled and bit her lip. “Is this the remote?” he asked moving closer he whispered “ Do you have them in now?” his eyelashes fluttered against her cheek as she nodded. Standing back and raising his eyebrows at her, he looked at the remote “Are you sure? He asked looking around “Well don’t go full tilt or anything you know start low, but …” she licked her lips and took his hand. Crossing the road to the park to take a longer route home. Taron looked at the buttons, it seemed simple enough a dial to increase of decrease the vibrations, and another created a shaking action of shorts. It had a simple start / stop too. He pressed it tentatively watching for Eryn’s reaction. Immeadiatly she closed her eyes and squeezed his hand, her legs tightening together.  
Taron laughed, pulling her close to him. He kissed her softly, rolling his hand over the dial as he pressed harder into her lips and ran his tongue between them. She gasped as the sensations increased. He looked at her expression as found himself eager to get back, looking around Eryn pulled him into a bushy area and against a tree. Grabbing his face with her hands, she hit her lips against his as he hit the shake button She froze. He was amazed at the pleasure on her face and the noises escaping her lips. She tugged at his belt and pulled down his trousers and boxers far enough, begging him. As she lifted her dress and pulled her underwear to the side.  
She was able to reach the cord and remove the eggs, so he could push himself into her, grabbing his shoulders and using the tree trunk to grip, he thrust into her hard and fast. “Damn! Taron, fuck me” she heard herself say, as his face turned stern and he pounded into her. She felt him coming and begged he could hold on, when she found her own release hitting her hard. He began to tire and slowed as he too came hard. Feeling him shudder inside her and release, she panted hard and blew her fringe from her eyes.  
As his head dropped on to her shoulder. Breathing heavily. He kissed her neck and lips as he pulled his clothes back up. She sorted herself out and picked the eggs from the floor, placing them and the remote into her handbag. He grabbed her hips and pulled her to him “You are wonderful do you know that? So incredible” he said breathless still. She smiled “It’s all for you” she said softly cupping his cheek smiling. “come on let’s get back” Taron said Looking around sheepishly “Guy walks the dog around here” he laughed.


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61  
Arriving in London in the pouring rain, Eryn looked at the dismal grey sky and already felt homesick for Aber. She wrapped the blanket around her as Taron grabbed the bags they needed, leaving the rest for another time. He smiled softly and took her hand. Walking into the expanse of the London apartment, it seemed bigger than she remembered. Having shared the small double bed at Taron’s parents place, she guessed made it seem that way. It smelt clean and clinical too. The cleaning team employed by Taron had done a great job of making it spic and span.  
Eryn wandered into the bedroom and plopped onto the bed, curling up she pouted a little. Taron unpacked and set some soft music on. He brought two mugs of coffee through to the bedroom and set them down on Eryn’s side. “Don’t look so sad” he said smiling a little. Nudging her “Budge up” he said and she moved back enough to let him join her. She rested her forehead on his chest and exaggerated her pout with a couple of heavy sighs. “Is it that bad here?” Taron chuckled lightly. She shook her head “I got my period” she said miserably “ I mean I know we knew it could take time and…” “and yadda, yadda, yadda” Taron added “ I’m sorry honey, it’s okay to be disappointed” he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.  
“You feeling sore? He asked resting his hand on her stomach, “Need anything” he asked softly “Just you” she replied making him chuckle “Yeah well you have me” he replied. “It’s not bad here baby, I’m just being a grump, ignore me” she said nestling into him. “Well, let’s do something to take your mind off it” he suggested “like what?” “we could look at wedding stuff?” he offered. Eryn was feeling guilty about not being excited about it all, she was a little like Mari. Struggling to get excited with it being so far off. But decided not to ignore the opportunity to create with Taron.  
“Okay, well we need to decide on your outfit?” as you aren’t allowed to see mine “I was thinking of keeping mine a secret too” he said. “  
but what if we don’t match that’s going to be weird” she moved to a sitting position and sipped her coffee as he put the folder on the bed and opened his laptop, searching fairy themed weddings. “Ok well, we already booked the honeymoon” She said ticking the box on that section. In the folder was the booking reference “And the venue” he smirked having done it already. “wow you did this?” he smiled and raised his eyebrows. She scanned the details and smiled appreciatively “Not bad Welsh Boi” she told him. “Here” he said showing her a carriage and horses. She felt a butterfly flutter in her stomach “I don’t know, isn’t it a bit too much” she asked “ Oh but the girls would love it, Hmmmm ok” she grinned “ Yes, yes because the girls will love it” he said sarcastically leaning on the girls part of the sentence.  
“I think flowers are your thing… why don’t we have a wedding planner by the way, wouldn’t it all be easier” he sighed scrolling through Pinterest. Eryn looked at Taron and lifted the laptop from him, He looked at her confused as she typed Wedding planners into google and handed it back. Kissing him and dropping back on the bed “Why did no one mention a planner to me” she groaned feeling stupid Taron lay back with her smiling apologetically “I thought you wanted to do it all” he said laughing “ I want to choose the things, but the whole business of knowing what to order and how much and all that stuff, man that just does my head in” she admitted “I’m a terrible girl aren’t I? he kissed her again smiling “you do alright” he admitted.  
She snuggled into him again “I’ll ask Lyndsay tomorrow to find someone, used to sorting out all the privacy and security stuff as well” he told her. She groaned “ I forgot we have to do that tomorrow” pulling a face “ At least it will all be out in the open and we don’t have to hide it all” he said “ I love you darling, but with a wedding coming up, you think the press aren’t going to be even more interested?” she told him and he realised she had a point. “Lyndsay is a clever woman I’m sure she has some ideas”  
Eryn looked up at Taron, her fingers stroking his ears. she smiled mischievously “What?” he asked her “Just wondering what you’d look like with elf ears” She grinned giving away that she wasn’t serious, as she giggled “Elf ears? really?” he grinned sarcastically back at her “If I didn’t know that you were in pain, I would tickle you to death Ms Riley” she said stroking her stomach lightly “Outwitted again welsh boi” she chuckled.  
The following morning Eryn spent time getting ready for the meeting, not knowing what to expect she came out of the bedroom wearing a smart suit trouser and tailored shirt and blazer with tan ankle boots, her hair neatly combed and make-up subtle. She stopped short seeing Taron in a pair of jeans, a vest and shirt, trainers on his feet and old favourite on his head. He smiled looking at her “Job interview today?” her shoulders slumped “Really? Did I just get all dressed up for nothing” she groaned, he got off the sofa and moved closer to her. “Oh no you don’t” She stepped back, “Don’t you dare tell me I look good, I look like an idiot next to you” she pouted. “Ok, ok” Taron rolled his eyes and went into the bedroom, throwing on a smart shirt and jacket and a smart pair of shoes. “Better” he said dramatically twirling as his phone beeped “car’s here” he said smiling at Eryn, “come on gorgeous fiancé of mine” she took his hand and placed her handbag on her shoulder.  
Sitting in the car, Eryn’s knee bounced with nerves. She had never been to United and had no idea how all of this was going to happen, she felt like she was going to a job interview. Taron placed his hand on her knee to steady it “You ok?” he asked as she sighed. “Just don’t go disappearing on me today, please” she said taking the hand off her knee and holding it “Are you that anxious” he said noticing her hands were sweating, she bit the inside of her lip. “It’s alright for you, I bet you were anxious the first time you went there” she scowled playfully. “I was yeah” he admitted. “But really everyone’s really nice and it’s much more laid back than you are thinking” he told her.  
Pulling up, Taron saw a number of photographers dotted about. Eryn hadn’t even realised they were there, she thought about how easily Taron had spotted them. She was glad they had dressed better now. As they climbed out of the taxi Eryn first followed by Taron. The Paps stayed put to begin with, but once it became clear that they were heading toward the United Agents building, they suddenly jumped up and Taron heard his name being called. He was already holding Eryn’s hand, but tightened his grip and increased his walking speed, without appearing to do so. The were inside the building before any flashes went off, but Taron explained that it was less going in that was the issue, it was that once inside they knew you had to come out, that’s when they’d be ready for you.  
She saw the irritation and anger in Taron’s eyes as he spoke and squeezed his hand to reassure him. “Well we are in for now and will deal with them later” she told him as they rode the lift to the floor they needed. Walking out the receptionist greeted them, Taron by name and nodded as Taron went straight through the double doors. Inside was a normal office space and it took Eryn no time to see Lyndsay in the very back corner. She waved smiling brightly “Taron and Eryn, How are you guys?” she asked hugging them both. She grabbed a bunch of files and directed them to a conference room, Taron already obviously knew and walked straight in, the couple taking a seat each.  
Lyndsay placed her files and laptop on the table and an assistant came in with a tray of coffee, tea and biscuits for the group as well as a bottle of water and three glasses. Taron stood and started making the drinks “Thanks Taron” Lyndsay smiled as he passed them out. “Right here is the statement draft I created have a read and let me know if anything is wrong or you want to add” she said handing an a4 piece of writing to both Taron and Eryn. It read:  
It is with our great delight to announce that United Artist client Taron Edgerton is announcing his engagement and forthcoming wedding to Ms Eryn Riley. Ms Riley and Mr Egerton have been friends for some time and as you will be aware Mr Egerton has been providing Ms Riley with support and friendship whilst she has dealt with a horrific and harrowing number of ordeals. Previous Press releases have detailed these. Please see the couples comments below:  
“We are happy to finally be able to share this happy news with all of you. Though we have dealt with a turbulent and difficult set of circumstances at times, We found friendship and support in dealing with these, that has led to our love blossoming. Whilst we are of course happy to share our news with you all, we ask that you respect our privacy and understand that our private life is precious to us”  
The rest of the statement went through the details for press to contact for more information and links to photographs. Photographs? Eryn hadn’t considered that of course they would want photo’s for the statement.  
On the reverse page was a list of questions likely to be asked, these were not going to be given out as part of the main statement as the press would have to work for that information a little bit. The couple needed to provide a set of answers to them for staff to answer. So, they began and soon it was done.  
“Lyndsay, we have a favour to ask” Taron said and Lyndsay was already on it, she and the couple had a look through a few CV’s and chose someone who looked had a good combination of creativity and was spot on with keeping security high but well hidden. Finally finished with everything Lyndsay hugged the couple again and promised to keep in touch. The photographer would visit them the next day and take some neutral shots around the house. It made Eryn feel a little uneasy, but when Lyndsay explained that a make up and hair lady was coming and Stella the stylist as well.  
As they rode down the lift, they prepared themselves for the photographers, The car was waiting and the driver ready to open the door as soon as they approached. She took Taron’s hand and got ready to speed walk. He smiled as she whispered ‘Run’ they ran and were in the car with the door shut and heads down, before the paps woke up and realised what they had missed. The couple laughed in hysterics and Taron kissed Eryn “Thank you, was it as bad as you thought?” he asked. “It was fine, but this photoshoot I another matter” she sighed  
“You are beautiful, and it will be fine” Taron tried to reassure her. She smiled at him but felt as anxious as ever.  
When she arrived home, she stripped off and pulled on a new set of pyjamas she had bought. They were cashmere and incredibly soft and luxurious. She climbed into bed as the pain in her belly tormented her and he boobs ached. Taron wandered in thinking she was just changing and was surprised when he saw her curled up in pain. He collected her some painkillers and a drink along with a hot water bottle and stripping to his boxers, he joined her, snuggling up behind her and resting his hand on the hot water bottle. “You okay, can I do anything?” he asked softly.  
“Knock me up, so I don’t have to feel like this again” she joked, “You want me to do that right now?” he replied. She nestled back into him a little more “Maybe not right, now” she giggled. “Are you very disappointed about not being pregnant?” he asked evenly. She nodded almost imperceptibly “It’s funny, you spend so scared of falling pregnant, taking precautions like it’s so easy, then when you actually want to, it doesn’t happen” she sighed “It’s just a disappointment is all” Taron kissed her on the cheek.  
“Well if you are going to feel so sad every month, we better think about doing this properly don’t you think? He asked, Eryn turned and looked at him quizzically “You mean like all that chart and ovulation kit business, bit early isn’t it?” she asked “ I thought we were casually trying and not putting pressure on” she tried to read his expression “I know, but I hate to think of us getting our hopes up every month, I think we are already putting on that pressure” he said “Omg Taron, are you seriously talking about properly trying for a baby” She said semi excited semi scared to hear the answer. “I think I am” he grinned “You look bloody terrified” she told him as she kissed him “I am” he admitted “Me too” she told him as they looked at each other.  



	62. Chapter 62

Chapter 62  
“Pass me that blue tac” Eryn called from the bathroom. Taron peered around the door handing her the pack. “What are you up to in here anyway, I thought we were looking at Halloween costumes?” he said squeezing in and sitting on the toilet and scrolling the outfits online. “This Welsh Boi, is my ovulation chart and this is my basal body temperature chart, These are Ovulation sticks and no do not check if you’re ovulating please they are like £15 a box as are these they are pregnancy tests” she smiled “Bloody hell, you weren’t wrong, It is weird to think about all the street you put yourself through not trying to knock someone up and then when you want to, you have to doo all this, makes you wonder why you freak out in your teens” he laughed “Because dummy the younger you are the easier it is to get preggers” she sighed “ You know I probably only have nine good years left?” she pouted. Taron put his phone on the side of the sink and pulled her too him “No problem” he grinned “We just need plenty of your special toys and we have it made” he raised his eyebrows.  
She kissed him laughing too, “Ok so come on them what do you have in mind for Halloween? She asked picking up the phone and wandering into the lounge. “I was thinking about a Zombie Knight and you could be my Damsel in distress” he said mock swinging a sword around. “Ok… but I think I’d prefer to be more Xena warrior that, a damsel” She said playing the melodramatic damsel and dropping back onto the bed. He crawled across the bed and hovered over her “But I won’t get to kiss you and save you from the big old ogre” he said kissing her neck and running his finger down her cleavage. She rolled him over, “No I could save you from being locked in chains” She grinned raising his hands above his head.  
Just then Taron’s phone beeped. “Oh, that’ll be the photographer” Taron said as Eryn sat back and groaned. She was really not looking forward to this at all. Taron greeted Alistair and his assistants who were here for hair and Make – up. Stella had been in already early that morning with the rail of clothes. They had gone through and picked three outfits. It was going to be a proper ‘hello’ type shoot and Eryn already inwardly groaned at all the fake smiles she knew they’d need to pull. But she took a deep breath and made her way to greet the guests. Taron put his arm around her “Ahh there you are? He said as if he’d had no idea “Alistair, Kerry and Lorna this is Eryn my beautiful fiancé” he said, and Eryn said ‘hi’ to everyone.  
As Kerry led her to a chair and began to chat to her about the hair and make -up looks they had come up with. Eryn’s hair had grown a fair bit now and was more shoulder length following her short sharp bob cut. So, it was more versatile now and she was quite enjoying seeing the ways she could style it. The palate for the colours were pastels and light stone textures. She had chosen two dresses and a trouser and blouse set with heels. Taron had a country gent theme going, with tweed jackets and a tartan shirt in another ensemble, with brogues.  
The photographer set about putting lights and canvases around the flat as he chose the locations he wanted to use. The garden being obvious, but the lounge fireside was another along with the spare room, better than using their actual bedroom was the thinking and Eryn was glad, she didn’t want the world seeing were she and Taron slept and were intimate. Eryn saw Taron stealing glances and smiling at her, she knew he was partly checking on her and it made her feel safe.  
“Do you mind if I use your toilet? Asked Kerry and Eryn nodded, suddenly she jumped up and shooting a look at Taron, quickly regained her composure. Directing her to the second bathroom by the spare room. Taron looked confused when it dawned on him that the charts were tacked to the back of the bathroom door. He shook his head as Eryn rolled her eyes, could nothing they do be normal? She mused and wandered over to be directed into place. Sat on the staircase to the roof, She was told to sit between Taron’s legs with his arms around her. As he laid his arms in place, his chest against her back, he felt how fast her heart was racing. “You ok?” he whispered, and she nodded, moving a little back against him, she was able to, without anyone knowing use his breathing as she was used to relax a little. He took her hand and squeezed. “Just think about that Halloween outfit” he told her as the camera flashed. Her thoughts flashing to him dressed as a knight made her laugh at the exact right time.  
“Fantastic” Alastair called “Eryn you’re a natural at this, very photogenic” he said as he continued to move them and called instructions. Soon Eryn relaxed and with Taron deliberately making her laugh at the right times, she new the shots would be natural and not forced.  
Once the third and final shot was done and everything was cleared away, Eryn headed into the bathroom for a soak. As she lay in the bubbles, she looked at the charts on the door and sighed. Always organised It was all very well to set up the charts and take the tests, temperatures and all. But was she setting herself for failing again. She wasn’t sure if she could deal with another failure, not after everything she had put Taron through. He was due to begin work in two days too, looking at the chart, she knew realistically there would be months that she’d be unable to even try properly, times she’d be ovulating, and timing would just simply be off. She could hardly expect Taron to run home in the middle of scene, to screw her. She dropped under the water laughing at the image of screwing Taron in full Eggsy costume. When she came up again, Taron was sat on the toilet again looking at her quizzically. She grinned “Do I want to know?” he asked. She shook her head and washed the soap off her face. “Thank you for today” he said wiping her wet fringe away. “You helped, Nice little trick you had there, making me laugh” she said. “Yeah someone taught me that, can’t remember who” he admitted.  
“Eryn?” he said softly “yeah” she answered nonchalantly “I got an email, it’s from that therapist Dr Redvers referred us to” he said not looking at her but at the floor. “Ok” she said standing and pulling on a towel. She wrapped one around her hair and stepped out of the bath. “And..” she asked standing Taron up and moving his face to look at him. “It’s just a date for the first appointment” he said still keeping his eyes down. Eryn stroked his forehead as it began to fold into lines shaking her head “Do you want me to tell you what to expect? She said kissing his nose and then his mouth lightly. He nodded and looked at her smiling lightly, he kissed her back. “Go make us a brew then while I get dressed” she took his hand and walked out of the bathroom into their bedroom. “You could stay like that” he smiled lightly as he left, using humour to cover the anxiety he felt. Eryn smiled and went to her drawers; she pulled on her nightclothes and wrapped her dressing gown around her.  
Taron pulled the mugs from the cupboard and switched the kettle on. He leant against the counter as he exhaled heavily. He didn’t want to admit to Eryn that he was worrying about the schedule on the bathroom door. Unknowing that she too had considered his schedule too, he worried he was up to it all. Knowing pressure was a terrible aphrodisiac. He hoped the combination of the therapy, filming and trying to get his fiancé pregnant wasn’t to much. When she walked out of the bathroom, she looked beautiful in her soft cashmere and he turned to his coffee machine, shaking his thoughts away.  
Setting the mugs down on the table, Eryn grabbed the throw and snuggled into it as Taron did likewise. “Ok, so do you want me to tell you what happens first, or do you want to just tell me what you’re worried about?” she said motioning for him to lay his head don her lap. She knew that her head massage would lubricate the conversation and he could talk without needed to make eye contact which was also easier. “Talk me through it” he yawned and settled. Eryn ran her nails across his scalp and sent tingles down Taron’s neck as she began”  
“Well remember if it’s different when we go to this one, I’m just telling you my experiences ok” she began and sipped her coffee. “Hmmm” he murmured under her fingers. “Generally, you go into a normal waiting room, to begin with and get called through like any doctor’s appointment, then it varies. Usually an office-ish place with a table and two or three comfy chairs like a lounge set up, always the obligatory box of tissues and bottle of water” she chuckled “Ready for you to cry” Taron commented “ Yeah” she agreed “Then whoever the person is psychiatrist, psychologist, counsellor. Whatever will ask why you are there? What you want out of therapy? And starts the ball rolling” she said “What do I say though? If I don’t know? “Then say that, it’s ok not to be sure, it’s ok to say because my Mam and fiancé are forcing me too” she laughed lightly.  
Taron turned to face her “ That isn’t why I’m doing it thought Eryn” he said frowning “ I know, but if you felt that it was even a bit it’s ok to admit it” she said stroking his forehead as he nodded “Taron, you don’t have to tell me anything you tell your therapist, you know that don’t you? I don’t expect that at all” she said firmly as he considered her words, he finished his coffee “There isn’t anything I would keep from you” he said “Are there things you aren’t telling me that you tell yours?” he asked she looked a little uncomfortable and thought for a few minutes “ No I don’t think so, but as long as you’re talking to someone, I’m not sensitive about the fact that its not me” she said. “I guess its like Henny or your Mam, you might have conversations with your Mam that we have later or that just don’t come up between us” she tried to explain but felt like she was messing it up. “Taron, I’m not keeping anything from you, is that what your worried about? She finally said. He nodded “But I do get what you mean” he smiled “Maybe that’s my problem, I want to be the only one” he admitted with a sad and soft chuckle.  
“You do have a habit of that? Eryn admitted making him lay his head back down so she could resume her play. He wriggled and turned to face her stomach, closing his eyes as she dipped her fingers into his curls again. “So, go on, what is it that worries you about therapy?” she asked “I don’t really know, talking to a stranger I guess… letting you and Mam down if I can’t do what they ask me too, freaking out” Eryn pressed a little harder and began to scratch a little, making him groan and squirm. She smiled “You are there for you and not us, but see what I meant by admitting that we are part of it all” she told him “he scowled “can you be my therapist? You know me far too well” he said “God the number of therapists I’ve seen I feel like I could be one, but no there are patient /client rules, I couldn’t have sex with you if I were your therapist” she grinned. Taron lifted her top and kissed her stomach, “Ok, no I don’t want you to be my shrink then” he smiled. She chuckled “One track mind” she teased.  
They sat quietly for a while as Eryn massage moved more into his neck as her fingers stroked the hair line and down to his shoulders, lightly massaging away the knots as he moved into a more convenient position. “How old were you, when you first needed therapy” Taron asked softly “Needed it or actually got it, because in reality I should never have been left in that home, I should have been removed well before I need therapy” she sighed a little bitterness in her tone. “I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about this” Taron said seeing her anger rise. “It’s ok, I’ve told this story enough” she chuckled bitterly. “Taron turned and wrapped his arms around her waist, I just realised that you’ve never told me” he said blinking. “She looked at him, no I haven’t had I. I guess apart from whatever I disclosed on the pier” she laughed, and he joined her.  
“Do you still not remember that night?” he laughed raising his eyebrows “Nope” she smiled back, “Wow, I have a little leverage against you then” he told her. His face softened becoming serious.  
“Tell me, I want to know” he said, “but only if you want to”. She smiled sadly at him and began.  
A baby screamed it was sat in a plastic basinet, new-born into the last year of the 1970’s it lay in a terry nappy and yellow baby grow. Fuzzy spikey hair already covered it’s small head. Already causing a spectacle, It’s poor mother was still unconscious after the C Section that had brought our baby into the world. The child in utero had taken the umbilical cord into the birth canal and trapped it’s only way to get oxygen. It had to be a section, or the child would not survive.  
A call was placed to the father to be, a nurse returning to the mother in distress and fear. “Your husband is very laid back, isn’t he?” she commented as said mother rolled her eyes in embarrassment. She was overheard remarking to staff that the father apparently seemed to be disinterested in the fact that both his wife and daughter were on the brink of death.  
Cut to a few months later and a camera snaps images of the new-born girl, sat in a pram in the garden, a bouncer chair her brother screams beside her screaming also. Mother is washing up in the background. Who took this image? Who ignored two distressed children to photograph them? The disinterested father, of course.  
Eryn continued to describe her early years and the reason she was later diagnosed with CPTSD, then EUPD. Both caused by the type of early beginnings she described. She talked to Taron like an expert, reeling the facts she had learned over the years about attachment theory and the impact on the human brain a lack of attachment and care causes.  
She went on to talk of fearing her parents, constantly confused as the rules changed leaving her unaware of not only how to feel safe but where or how to gain comfort. She explained that this was why embarrassingly she still sucked her thumb. Then she dropped her eyes as she spoke of the emotional abuse, the way she was set up and used as a pawn in her mothers games. The times she ran away to her Aunt begging not to be sent home. The losses she felt when her grandparents died, but she wasn’t told. Trying to understand what happened to them and the anger she felt years later when she worked it out. She spoke about her sister and being born later the issues that caused, how her mother destroyed any relationship they forged and how desperately sad she was now. She touched on the physical abuse from bullies and her father.  
She finally stopped as she felt herself overwhelmed with images, thoughts and feelings. Taron moved quickly to sit and pulled her into his arms. “Fucking hell Eryn” he said holding her tight. “Taron, that’s only the start, like I told you. There is so much” Taron was shocked, she hadn’t even begun to talk about her marriage, he realised.  
“In answer to your question, I started counselling at 16, I lied about my age because you need parental consent until your 18 and I’d never have got that” she looked at his neck and rested her head on his shoulder.  
Without thinking he scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom. He lay with her in his arms, looking into her eyes. “I am so glad you told me” he said softly “You are even more incredible than I knew” he smiled she smiled at him, watching his eyes sparkling in the moonlight. “I mean it, what you have been through is unimaginable, I am just in awe” he told her and kissed her softly.  
Running his hand down her arm, he thought for a few moments “I think I understand this a little better now too” he said lifting her arm and stroking the scars “I think with all that going on, It had to release somehow and if no one showed you how to deal with all those emotions, anyone would do whatever felt good.” He said “She looked at him with a pride she couldn’t explain as she saw him begin to understand her in a way, she hadn’t thought possible. “I’m not sure I can understand how it does that” he said “I don’t ever want you too Taron” she jumped in concern spreading across her face “No one should ever know how that fucking feels” she said so passionately that Taron stroked her arm reassuringly and nodded “ I know, I know and I don’t want you to feel it either” he said sadly. Looking at her arm and running his fingers over them. He kissed each of the most prominent lines.  
“You deserve so much more than what life has dealt you Eryn” he said resting his lips on hers and kissing her softly. She returned the kiss. “What does your chart say about today? He smiled sweetly making her laugh “No idea but fuck the chart and come here” she said laughing as she pressed her lips firmly onto his.


	63. Chapter 63

Chapter 63  
“And send” She said laughing as the very last chapter of ‘Flames’ disappeared from her email. Eryn sighed. She was glad to have finished it to be honest, she had already zoned in on another more personal project. She had decided that her life being such a soap opera, maybe others would find knowing ‘Her Story” she would write it. It had been cathartic talking to Taron and wondered if she now had enough distance to write it without descending into a spiral of depression and anxiety. She was sat in her favourite spot on the roof a flash of coffee by her side, wrapped in her pink fluffy throw. Taron had left to start his first day of filming.  
She had taken her temperature as she was finally done with her period and it was now time to monitor. She needed a distraction, and this was perfect. She opened a new file, something she always loved and chose a title “WTF” as a working title. Put on some decent motivational music and began to type. She soon got lost in typing and choosing the right tone. She knew she was covering some heavy stuff but needed it to reflect her personality.  
It was lunchtime before she knew it, just then her phone pinged and an image came through from Taron, also on lunch it seemed and in a particularly cheeky mood. The picture was of his outstretched leg pointing and gesticulating behind a door frame to the moulin rouge can-can song. Then another of just his chest, unbuttoning his pinstripe suit jacket and getting stuck trying to untie the tie. Eryn laughed and typed out  
E <<<<< So hot for you right now>>>>>  
T <<<<< Really?>>>>>  
E <<<<< Err, No>>>>>>  
The phone rang on video call “Hey that’s some of my best moves I’ll have you know” he moaned “So, someone’s enjoying themselves then?” she smiled. “It’s not been bad, bit boring as usual to begin with, but it’s good to see all the guys again” he smiled “What are you up to?” he said peering as if he could see over her shoulder at the laptop. “You can see it later” she told him, and he nodded. “How you feeling about the session tonight?” she asked him he took off his eggsy glasses and sat down “Yeah, better now you told me what to expect, I’m glad you’ll be there though” he admitted. “Of course, babe” she smiled.  
“Where the fuck are you? Woman …. Helloooo” Eryn’s eye’s widened as she saw Henny climb the stairs “God damn Ren, penthouse not good enough you have to go to the fucking top of the top” she grinned. Eryn dropped the throw off her and ran to her friend squealing “What the fuck are you doing here?” she screamed as the pair jumped up and down. Landing on the sofa in a hug “Well I finally left her” Henny grinned “Divorced the lezzie bitch and transferred to the Beeb” she smiled. “Holy hell, Hen are you serious?” Eryn said calming down “Be serious for a minute Hen, are you ok?” she asked. Henny tried to look away and hide her tears “Yeah, needed to pull that band aid” she smiled as Eryn hugged her friend and rocked her. “I’m so proud of you” she told her as her friends hair stuck to her lips. “So, what now? The BBC really, That’s very prim and proper” Eryn said in her best RP. “Yeah, well they’ve been headhunting moi, for a while offered me a flat” she said pointing to the very building they were sat in. Eryn looked around “Here” she beamed “Fucking yes, You and me are going to be neighbours” she laughed. Only then her face dropped.  
“Fuck Hen, I’m moving to Aber when the house sale is finalised, I’ve got the place being done up as we speak” Eryn groaned “But you have to be up here a fair bit too, surely you can’t leave his nibs alone for long” she asked. Eryn shrugged “Well I guess I will have to just come down to Wales for visits, won’t I? she smiled. “Oooh and I can be your spy” she said clapping her hands excited “Make sure no sluts try and slide into your warm bed” she laughed. “Right, woman, get your gear on let’s go celebrate” Henny yanked Eryn’s arm and dragged her down the stairs “You can fill me in on all the news and goss, while you get dressed” she said.  
Eryn changed into a floaty dress and tights, with her Mary Jane shoes she recently bought and found any excuse to wear. Henny nodded her approval and the girls headed out. Chatting excitedly, they found a sweet little coffee shop in Covent Garden and ordered coffee and cake. “So, I saw your charts and stuff in the bathroom, You two are really going for the whole baby thing full pelt then?” Henny asked her mouthful of carrot cake. “Well, we are meant to be, but with Taron’s schedule, It’s going to be difficult” she mused as she sipped her coffee, smiling and loving having Henny back. “Well, surely you need to stay close by when you know you need to… get some” she grinned slugging her own drink.  
“I guess I could stay on set, but it’s pretty boring” Eryn said “But if it’s only until he knocks you up, shouldn’t be that hard” Eryn and Henny giggled “Fucking immature Hen” Eryn chuckled “What all I said was hard Ren, Jesus grow up” she teased. Eryn responded in mock shock. Eryn nipped to the toilet while Henny took a call, when she returned Henny was even more excited “Hey I just heard from the realtor, I can go collect the keys to the apartment already, can’t move in til the 15th, but still shall we go check it out” she asked “Sounds good, but I was rather wondering if you might want to do some retail therapy” Eryn smiled “Please Hen it’s been so long since we had a proper girlie shop” Eryn pleaded. “Fine, but no baby fucking shops” she grinned “Oh god, no that’s just torturous, just normal girlie crap shopping” Eryn smiled. “Yes” Henny agreed.  
\----  
Late that afternoon Taron opened the door to the apartment and was surprised to see it in darkness. He had tried to call Eryn all afternoon to see if they were meeting at the therapist or home. He dialled her number again and it went to voicemail. A chill ran up his neck as he began to feel anxiety rising in him. He quickly checked the flat and found her discarded laptop and throw on the rooftop sofa. Clicking the laptop on, he saw that it hadn’t been closed properly and she had seemed to have stopped mid-sentence. She never did that, it was something Taron teased her over, she couldn’t leave a line incomplete. Now the panic was increasing.  
He dialled his Mam; She hadn’t heard from Eryn and reassure Taron that she probably just went out for something. He knew she was trying to help but it didn’t stop his heart racing. Checking her emails, he saw nothing out of the ordinary. He read a little of the piece she was writing. As he read, he became aware that the subject matter could easily have triggered a negative reaction. “Damn Eryn answer the phone” he shouted as he re-dialled her number over and over.  
He began pacing and looking at the clock, he would need to leave soon if he were going to make this session with the therapist. He dropped the phone as his breathing increased, “Fuck” he groaned as he struggled for breath, his chest tight. Fear began to take hold as his mind raced. Images of Eryn with the cable around her neck flashed through his mind, and tighter and tighter his chest felt. Collapsing onto the sofa, he curled up. Flash and another image, Eryn in the woods this time, flash he was running to the flat, but he was getting no nearer. His chest hurt and he grabbed his t-shirt “Shit” he thought “I’m having a fucking heart attack” tears streamed down. As he screwed up his face.  
“Taron?” Eryn called out to him, “Taron it’s me, what it is? What’s going on? She cried. It took moments to recognise the symptoms. “Taron listen to me, if you can hear me baby, It’s ok. You’re having a panic attack baby. You’re ok, I am right here” She quickly slipped behind him and pressed herself against his back. Her hands lifted off his top and rested on his heart as they rubbed gentle circles. Eryn concentrated hard on relaxing her own breaths and steadying her own concern. She spoke gently into his ear. “I’m right here, just feel my heartbeat and focus on taking deep breaths, slowly, slowly” she cooed breathing heavily on her outbreath, so he could feel it on his skin, not just the motion of her chest and the beating rhythm of her heartbeat.  
Slowly she felt the tension loosen and relax. His face softened and his breathing returned to a steady rhythm. He was copying the open-mouthed breaths, Eryn was doing. She wiped the tears from his face and stroked his cheek. “Okay, It’s okay ssh” she rested her head on his back as he began to uncurl.  
Finally, he turned over and rested his forehead on Eryn’s chest, wrapping his arms around her he held her tightly. She stroked his back and kissed his head. “What on earth happened baby? Eryn asked softly. Taron didn’t respond. “Come with me” she said firmly, and gently pushed him back, taking his hand she led him to the bedroom and pulled back the cover. He walked his head down and silent. But climbed into the bed.  
Eryn watched him curl up as she knew she would have done. She climbed into the bed and pulled the duvet over them both, covering them entirely. She lay behind him and wrapped her arms around him. “Our safe place Taron, just you and me” she reminded him softly. Her arms lay on top of his and he held her hands. His eyes closed. She kissed his shoulder gently and lay still. Giving him the time, he needed. “I remember the rules” she said quietly “I’m going to stay here until you tell me to stop” she smiled slightly remembering the first time Taron held her after the panic attack in her hotel room. He must have also been thinking of it as he turned and kissed her cheek. She held him tight as his head rested on her chest. He finally raised his head and looked at her. His eyes were red and puffy, bloodshot from crying. “I didn’t know where you were” he stammered “I don’t know what happened” he told her. She stroked his forehead “I’m right here” she rested her forehead on his.  
“I called and called…” he sighed heavily “I thought someone, something” Eryn felt him tense. “Henny, she, she’s back… I was with her; I didn’t hear my phone” Eryn looked at the pained expression on his face and realised that this must be how it felt on the other side of her attacks. She felt guilty, so guilty. “You don’t have to talk about this now Taron, we can just lay here and listen to music or sleep if you want. “Damn the therapy appointment” He suddenly said “Whoa, whoa” she grabbed him and pulled him back “ Screw that, Taron you are in no fit state” she tried reluctantly he dropped back onto the mattress “Isn’t that the whole point” he sighed “ I should call, I should” he broke off.  
“Taron, look at me” Eryn was firm and he responded, looking at her blinking “I just walked in and found you on the floor in a massive panic attack, that I what’s most important right now, no appointments, no nothing” she was strong and assertive and Taron was easily subdued” she pulled him back under the duvet. He lay back on her chest and she stroked his head.  
“Eryn?” he said after a while “I thought I was dying, like I was having a heart attack or something, is that what you?” he broke off “Not always, mostly it’s darkness and racing heart, difficulty breathing, shaking, images” she continued “Images?” he said. “What did you see? She asked “You” he admitted “me?” she confirmed and could only imagine what awful images he had been subjected too. Knowing the kind, she saw each and every time. She felt Taron shiver and ran her hand up and down his arms. “I am so sorry Taron” Eryn began to cry now, burying her head in the mattress. He turned “It’s not your fault, Eryn what are you always telling me?” he said looking at her. She lifted her head and taking deep breath she kissed him. As their lips pressed together, they felt a surge of emotion like no other. Taron had learnt first-hand how it felt to be Eryn and she him. It was a horrible and unifying feeling.  
Ending the kiss, Taron smiled sadly at Eryn. “I’m glad you found me” he said, “I was, I am so scared” he shook, and she nodded “I know, I know” She held him as he cried. “But you’re safe, I have got you and I will never, ever let go” she told him. “and I’ll call and explain to the therapist what happened tomorrow, so don’t worry about that” she stroked his head as he closed his eyes. She was warm and he felt safe in her arms, he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so vulnerable and scared. He looked at Eryn and couldn’t imagine having to deal with years of attacks like the one he had just had. He knew from outside it looked horrible, but now he knew, it only increased his pride in Eryn and motivation to help her never to have to have another.  
“Did you say Henny was here? He asked making Eryn chuckle “ Yeah, she’s got a job at the BBC and a flat in this building, we were checking it out, that’s where I was” Eryn said feeling bad again for not hearing the phone or letting him know where she was. Taron saw the familiar emotion on her face. “Hey, my turn to tell you not to feel guilty, Don’t feel bad for enjoying yourself, you did nothing wrong. I just, I just got scared” he told her. “I know but I promise I will let you know what I’m doing, just until you deal with this, now we know it’s a trigger” she smiled softly “You shouldn’t have to do that” he sighed “Maybe not, but I’m still going to” she kissed him and pushed the duvet back, it starting to be claustrophobic. “Thank you” he replied kissing her. “And I’m coming to set with you from now on, no arguments, I can work from the trailer” she smiled Taron looked confused “ I don’t need a babysitter” he told her irritated “ Ok” she replied “ I was actually thinking about when I am ovulating I ought to make it easier on us, to, you know ” Taron grimaced “Oh that” he looked apologetic, but Eryn just kissed him again.  
“and you will know where I am” he didn’t want to admit it, but he did feel happier knowing she was close by at least for a while.  



	64. Chapter 64

Chapter 64  
“Get a move on it’s bloody freezing out here” Eryn moaned as Taron fiddled with the lock on his trailer “I keep telling them the locks fucked” he groaned as he finally got the door open, Eryn went straight to the bedroom and climbed in under the covers, once wrapped around her she pulled open the laptop and started it going. She new Lorna, the assistant assigned to Taron for this final Kingman would be along with coffee’s soon.  
Taron leant on the door frame and chuckled “Comfy” he said sarkily. Looking at Eryn still in her Ugg’s. She poked out her tongue and brought up the online tracker on her phone. Pulling out her thermometer she took her temperature and added into the app, checking the chart. Taron huffed “I love being told when I can have sex, it’s such a turn on” he grumped as he went to look to see if anyone else was in yet. Eryn looked at the chart again and chuckled “Oi Welsh Boi, Get your arse back here” she shouted. He came running back in “You’re kidding? Now?” he grinned and quickly locked the trailer again. Eryn pulled the covers off and laughing hysterically the couple stripped as quick as they could. Taron pulled Eryn down flat on the bed and kissed her neck “No time for that” she laughed, and he looked at her incredulous. “Can I at least get in the mood?” he asked as she took hold of his dick firmly making him gasp “Ok, I didn’t say it would take me long” he quipped as he groaned along with Eryn’s firm and strong movements. He was hard and she wrapped her legs around him, taking hold of his hips, she pulled him into her.  
He pressed himself into her and holding her waist began to thrust, his head down and focussed on his movements. Looking up Eryn seemed elsewhere “Baby?” he asked confused “what is it?” she shook her head and gently pushed him as he pulled out, crawling over to her, he looked into her eyes and saw tears. “What’s wrong?” he asked she dropped her head onto his shoulder. “Babe? c’mon” he urged “This! She picked up the phone and threw it “Fucking apps and charts and fucking kits, it’s all wrong” she said tearfully. “Hey, It’s ok” He soothed and pulled her into a hug “I’m sorry” she sighed “I know it’s me, I got all this rubbish” she groaned. Sheepishly she stroked Taron’s face “I don’t want our baby made like this” she said softly. Smiling at her sentimentality Taron stroked her head, “Ok, so what do you want to do? he asked. She looked up to him and kissed him, her lips caressing his softly and gently. “It’s just all too clinical, can’t we just have lots of sex?” she laughed “You won’t hear me say no” Taron grinned and kissed her again.  
Running his fingers down her neck and under her top, something that was left on in their previous hurry. Dropping his head, he raised her top and his hands ran under her bra lifting her breasts from the cups, he used his fingers to harden her nipples as she groaned kissing and taking them into his mouth his hands ran down her body and she felt him pressing on her, opening her legs. He entered her again, softly this time. He continued to kiss her his tongue finding hers, she closed her eyes as they began to move together.  
Finding the right rhythm, they rocked back and forth and it wasn’t long before he was close, she felt herself tensing around him inside as he let go, feeling herself coming shortly after. There was a bang on the trailer door. “Mr Egerton Are you in yet?” they heard “I don’t think so Kelvin, go ahead” Eryn and Taron shot each other a look as they heard the sound of a drill and realised that the maintenance guy was happily fixing the lock. Bursting into laughter. Taron quickly pulled out and dressed himself. Eryn too hurried to return to a decent state.  
Kissing Eryn softly, he grinned. “Better?” he asked, and she nodded, holding his cheek in her hand “Perfect” she grinned. As the door opened and a somewhat surprised maintenance worker and Lorna stood wondering why the couple hadn’t answered. Eryn picked up her laptop nonchalantly trying to hide her grin as Taron collected the coffee’s and made small talk with Lorna.  
Eryn soon found herself bored, she had written all she felt she could, called Henny but she was caught up signing contracts and getting her new pad organised. She had called Tina and had a chat about the family and how the renovations to the cottage were coming along, She was now wandering around the set and spotted someone she recognised. She never got used to the fact that Taron had celebrity friends and colleagues. Somehow his celeb status was just a weird side to who he was. But it was as she made a quick run to hide in the trailer that it hit her. It wasn’t like she wasn’t around for his calls to Elton John or other amazing stars. But Colin Firth had been someone Eryn had always loved as an actor, feeling like a complete idiot, she excitedly paced the trailer, not knowing how to cope.  
She sat in a chair and picked up Taron’s phone, clicking on his contacts. She gasped as she scrolled through. Suddenly she stopped. Timing it perfectly with the call for lunch. She quickly put the phone down and continued to pace. “You are an idiot” she told herself “Why are you so dumb? You knew this about him, how could it just not register” She babbled as Taron came in for lunch. He was red and sweaty, he looked intrigued as he watched Eryn pacing the bedroom, not having noticed he had come in.  
He smiled as he watched “I mean he sang that fucking song, Jesus you are so ditzy, total fucking blonde” she continued. Taron coughed loudly and she looked at him embarrassed. She turned and walked into the bathroom shutting the door. He followed and knocked “Babe are you ok?” he asked “Yep I mean no I mean I don’t know” she said opening the door a crack “What’s going on babe?” he asked Eryn came out and putting her arms around his neck kissed him “Did I tell you I love you today?” she grinned.  
There was a knock at the door and Eryn went to answer, It was Lorna with trays of food and drink for the pair. “Thanks Lorna” Taron called from the bedroom as he came through. “Right babe, What is going on?” he took her hand. She looked embarrassed and shyly answered “You have Gary Barlow’s phone number” He laughed “Yes, I do, why?” he asked before it also dawned on him. “Take That” he said looking at Eryn acting like a teenager made him laugh. “I went to come watch you and I saw Colin Firth and freaked out” she admitted “Babe you did see the first two Kingsman films, right?” he laughed sitting down and taking a sandwich off the tray. She sat in the desk chair and picked one up too. “I know, that’s what I was freaking out about, I don’t know why it just hit me that all these, I don’t know heroes of mine are like on speed dial on your phone” she was blushing hard. He kissed her cheek “You are very, very, cute right now, you know” he laughed loving every minute.  
“I just had a quick look in your contacts, and saw his name, Taron that’s like me having a direct line to Bowie or Joanie Mitchell. You do not understand. I love you baby, But I have loved Gary since I was 13 years old” he burst into laughter “Are you telling me that if Gary Barlow proposed to you right now, you would dump me?” he asked pretending to be heartbroken. “In a fucking second” she answered he laughed so hard, he actually spat bits of sandwich onto the floor.  
She moved up to sit with him, “Have you never met him? Any of them?” he asked “Henny and I followed them everywhere, but I never really got to meet him properly. He signed a picture I sent to his house, that’s the closest I’ve got” she pouted. He stroked her cheek, taking his phone out “I can give him a call now if you like” he said. Eryn jumped out of her seat, her eyes wide squealing she made Taron drop the phone “Holy Fuck Taron do not ever do that to me” Taron was gobsmacked at the reaction and desperately wanted to continue to tease her. But he saw beneath the silliness, Eryn was close to tears. “I won’t I promise” he said softly “come her” he said reaching his arms out and hugging her “ He really means a lot huh” he said She nodded “And Henny is going to go ballistic too, when she hears this” she told him, He laughed even harder, knowing Henny and her usual over the top personality.  
“Well how about we start slow and I introduce you to Colin” he asked as he polished a third sandwich off. Eryn kissed him on the cheek “Now that would be cool, can I watch you on set after this? I’m bored” she admitted taking a carrot stick and dipping it in the humous. “I don’t know, you might put me off” he laughed. She planted a drop of the humous on his nose, licking it off “Now would I do that?” she chuckled. He wriggled his nose and smiled.  
“You do know I’m a celebrity babe, you don’t get excited about me” he pouted “I think I got rather excited about you this morning sweetie” she smirked he patted her bum playfully. “Yeah But Gary Barlow gets a total freak out” he pouted Eryn moved to sit on his lap “Are you getting jealous baby” she said mischievously as he nodded increasing the pout, she kissed his outstretched lips “I love you, Welsh Boi” she told him “It’s all you, always” she told him he wrapped his arms around her waist and ghosted her lips with his own “You know I like you being here with me” he told her more seriously “You do?” she stroked his face “No more panic’s” she asked his softly and he shook his head.  
“I called the therapist by the way, he was fine. You’re booked in for the same time next week” she looked at him to see his reaction “What did you tell him?” he asked “The truth, why?” she asked “Baby of all people, he is the guy to tell that sort of thing too, should I have made something up? she frowned he moved a little uncomfortably and shifted her off his lap “Taron, it’s nothing to be ashamed of” she said “I know, I just.. I don’t know” he sighed, Eryn crouched in front of him “what?” she asked, he smiled sadly, running his hand through her hair “ Just weird a stranger knowing that happened” she nodded and placed her arms around his neck pulling him to a hug “ He’s only a stranger right now and he’s bound by confidentiality, so if you concerned about the press” he exhaled “Mind reading again Riley” he said pulling her up to standing and rocking side to side “ I’m going nowhere baby and I will come with you whenever you need me too, but you have to let me go sometime” she told him “I am never letting you go, ever” he told her. She rested her head on his shoulder as they slow danced to the silence. They were rudely interrupted by his 5-minute call to set. He groaned “I better see the make-up team before I go on set, you coming?” he smiles “Am I about to meet Mark Darcy? She smiled nervously “Technically he’s Harry Hart” he laughed “Trust you to go for Bridget Jones and not pride and prejudice” he chuckled “Are you saying that I am an uncultured swine?” she asked incredulously as they walked hand in hand to the make-up trailer.  
\----  
Eryn lay in bed that night watching Taron sleep, laid on his stomach with his bare back slowly rising and falling. She thought about the panic attack he’d had. She got up silently and removed the charts from the bathroom door, putting the ovulation and pregnancy kits into a draw. Looking at herself in the mirror, she lifted her pyjama top and stroked her stomach. Sighing heavily, she whispered “I think that you and I are going to have to be patient for a little while longer, just hold on for me, Daddy needs time to heal before we make you” she dropped her top. She knew that Taron needed to be her priority for now, a baby if it was meant would come along.  
She wandered out into the lounge and up to the roof. Wrapping the throw, she had left there around her. She looked out over the skyline and at the twinkling stars. Closing her eyes, she made a wish “Starlight Star bright, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight” she said softly making her wish.  



	65. Chapter 65

Chapter 65  
“Taron” the therapist Cameron called him through. He squeezed Eryn’s hand and followed the man into the room. It was exactly as Eryn had described including the box of tissues and bottle of water. Taron sat nervously playing with his fingers as Cameron explained how the sessions would work, he asked the questions Eryn said he would, and Taron was honest. It was easy to know where to start, “Eryn explained that you missed our session because you had a panic attack, is that right? He asked Taron nodded “And was that the first time you have experienced anything like that?” he coaxed Taron to begin to speak. Taron was able to tell Cameron about what had happened, describing in detail each step, the images, physical feelings and emotions. Cameron listened carefully, asking a question here and there. Before he knew it, the hour was already up. Cameron shook his hand and asked how he felt “You did well, got through the first one, that’s the hardest well done” he told him.  
Taron smiled and thanked Cameron, He was smiling still when he came out and Eryn got up to meet him, taking his hand and squeezing it. They thanked Cameron again and agreed on the next session.  
As the couple walked out of the building, toward the road to get a cab. Taron pulled Eryn in and held her, kissing her on the cheek “Lets walk?” he suggested. She smiled and nodded. “So?” she asked “So, it was ok” he said smiling lightly. “It was exactly like you said” Eryn held onto his arm as the walked her head pressed against it. “He’s a good counsellor Cameron, I think, or so people say” she said “We talked about the panic attack” Taron explained how they had unpicked it and he now understood it better. “ It was not knowing where you were and not being able to get hold of you, triggered memories of when, he took you, I felt so helpless Eryn, I couldn’t do anything” he sighed “It must have been so horrible, I know if things had been reversed, I would have gone out of my mind” Eryn told him. “It was, I thought I had lost you, twice” he said softly “How can I help you?” she asked “ I just want to keep you safe, like it’s my job and I couldn’t not once but twice, I think that’s the killer, once you can say well I didn’t see it coming, but twice I should have done something” he sighed again “ Like what? What could you have done?” she stopped and looked at him. “Maybe that’s something I can explore next session. A smile spread across Eryn’s face “So you’re going to keep going then? She asked “I think I might” he said lightly. “What about you? You know EDMR isn’t going to look at what happened recently” he told her “Well, look who is the expert psychologist now” she quipped “2pm tomorrow” she added softer. “unless of course I’m needed on set” she looked hopeful.  
“I do love you being there, keeping me company in the boring bits in between. But I reckon that I can cope with an hour, Is it with Cameron?” he asked “I don’t know actually, I guess I will find out tomorrow” they made short work of the distance between the offices they had left and home.  
They reached the apartment block and once they were inside, they got ready for bed and Eryn climbed into bed, picking up Taron’s glasses and book she got comfortable waiting for him. When he climbed into bed he smiled, seeing she was wearing his glasses “Where’s all the baby stuff gone? It’s not in the bathroom?” he asked “There is plenty of time for that, Right now you are more important” Eryn said flicking to the place they had stopped at, he took the book from her. But Eryn didn’t look up she stared at the pattern on the bedspread “Eryn, I thought we were trying?” he asked perplexed.  
“Baby?” he said softly she looked at him earnestly “There is enough on your plate right now, I want to make sure that you’re ok and the whole baby thing is just another thing to worry about” she said.  
“Eryn Riley, look at me? Taron said sternly and she looked into his twinkling blue eyes, “Making love to you is never a chore or a pressure, making a baby with you isn’t either” he said looking deeply into her eyes. He stroked her cheek, “I love you so much and it is incredible that you want to look after me, but baby I am going to be just fine” he told her “I scared you, didn’t I? he asked.  
“It hurts to know you have been there, I know that place and I don’t want you to go through anything like it again and if that means waiting to have a baby, then that’s what we will do, you are so important to me” she felt her heart ache. “You are wonderful to me” he smiled “But I am putting my foot down on this one” he grinned “I cannot wait to meet our child Eryn, to see you, you are going to be the most incredible mam” he swallowed the emotion bubbling up. “You are going to be a pretty epic daddy” she agreed tears in her eyes. “So, no more talk of putting it off” he told her “Besides, I was told I would get all the Sex I want, you cannot renege on that deal” he continued to smile. Eryn swatted him but pulled him to her kissing him deeply and passionately.  
“I take it that’s a yes” he growled as he held her firmly, they made love. The book forgotten and glasses discarded on the bedroom floor.  
=====  
Eryn was laid on her stomach on the bed in the trailer, that had become second home to her and Taron. The laptop in front as she scrolled through images of the finished cottage renovations. She smiled as she saw that Guy and Tina had gone the extra mile for them and had all their things transferred from storage and unpacked. The place looked so homely and wonderful; Eryn couldn’t wait to get back to Aber. As she looked at the empty spare room, her heart thumped. ‘Do you dare?” here head said as her cursor hovered in the Pinterest search bar as she type nursery, then quickly deleted it ‘Coward” she groaned. Dropping her head onto the mattress and screaming into the soft material. She typed fairy wedding gowns instead following her heart.  
“Don’t jinx it Eryn” she sighed “Jinx what?” asked Taron as he shut the door a little sharply. Making Eryn jump “Nothing, you ok?” she asked noting the tensing of his face and pouted lips. “No, I was fucking shit” He said “I’m going to a piss and a fag” he declared and headed to the bathroom. “o.k.” she said turning her attention to the laptop. She stopped as her eyes fell on it.  
Angry Anderson began to sing as Jason walked down the aisle. She saw it all in her mind. The perfect wedding as she had dreamed it as a 7 or 8-year-old. This dress wasn’t anything like Kylie’s when Scott and Charlene got married. But it might as well have been. That is the one, she thought smiling. Her revelry was interrupted by hurricane Taron as he stropped through the room and outside muttering under his breath.  
She had an hour before she had to leave for the therapy appointment, she saved the image and added it to her Wedding folder on the site, quickly she typed bridal shoes and enter, so as not to leave the image where anyone could see. She rolled off the bed and opened the trailer door, leaning against the outside wall was Taron, he was scrolling his phone. Eryn sat on the step “I mean how fucking hard is it to get a fucking line right? He growled kicking the stones at his feet, the dust catching and laying on the toes of the brogues, he was wearing. He had tucked his Eggsy glasses into his shirt and pulled off the tie, it was lazily shoved into his pocket. He sighed at his phone and put it aggressively away in his back pocket as he sucked on the cigarette and let the smoke float out. Eryn stayed silent letting him vent and waiting for him to come to her. The Lunch call rang out and he dropped the fag end on the floor, screwing it into the ground with his foot. He swallowed hard and walked to the steps, Eryn stood as he got to her, but didn’t let him pass. “What’s the password?” she asked. He rolled his eyes “Not in the mood Eryn, ok” as he moved her out of his way and went into the trailer.  
Nodding Eryn followed and picked up her handbag, slipping her phone into her pocket, she watch Taron sit on the bed and kick of his shoes, leaning back on the headboard, he picked his script up from the bedside table and flicked to the next scene. Eryn sighed again and left him to sulk.  
She was already sat in the waiting area, when his text came through  
<<<<< Where are you? >>>>>>  
Was all it read. Eryn replied as succinctly  
<<<<<< Therapy >>>>>>  
Taron closed his eyes as he read the reply.  
<<<<< Total Arsehole >>>> he sent with an apologetic looking selfie.  
Eryn shook her head, but had been called in. She took a seat and opened the water bottle in front of her. “Hi Eryn, I’m Tom. I understand that your fiancé is a client of Cameron’s” He said evenly. She nodded “I’ve had a look at your file, looks like you probably know what to do here, and I’m not going to re-hash what others have said in your other therapies. What I would like to know is your ultimate goal? You are undergoing EDMR correct, that is to help you with the traumatic effects of all you have been through, but what do you want to get from our sessions? He had a warm smile and she already felt comfortable in his company. “I’m used to talking about all the stuff from the past, I’m pretty much over talking about it all, I bore myself, I can’t change it and like you said the EDMR is fantastic and all. I am having fewer and fewer flashbacks, panic attacks and I’m on my 9 month no cut anniversary, today actually” she said realising it as she spoke “Congrats, Did you just remember that?” he said clearly noticing and she nodded, smiling proudly.  
“And how do you feel about that? Now you remembered” he asked “To be honest, I’ve had longer anniversaries of not cutting, but it felt false, because I knew that I was just holding it in and deep down I knew I would break and cut again, so it never felt like a victory, never felt like it was thing I used to do” she said focussing on the carpet pattern as she spoke “and now?” Tom asked Eryn looked up “Now, I feel like, I’m worth more” she said firmly, the smile becoming a grin.  
“Ok so your ultimate goal? He said returning to the original question he had posed. She looked stern now “To stop feeling like I have a bad seed at my core”. Tom looked surprised “Wow, Eryn I can tell you if all my clients came in here with such a sure goal based on such a clear vision of themselves, I would be out of a job” he nodded and wrote on his notepad.  
“ You have been through a lot in the last 12 months and from what I read, that really is an understatement” he looked at her “ Yeah” she said softly “Tom, I think everything just comes back to that feeling, I married my ex husband because of it, I grew up believing it and blamed myself for everything bad that ever happened not just to me, but anyone else around me. But I met the love of my life and watching him blame himself for the things that have happened, opened my eyes. I refuse to go forward taking the blame for things that are not my fault and I want Taron to do the same” she told him confidently.  
“Ok, sounds like we have a great goal. I have of course all the factual details about the incidents that brought you into contact with victim support. But I wonder it a good place to start would be for you to tell me, talk me through what happened. Stop of course if you need and we only need to go as far as you’re comfortable with, tell me to stop at any time” he said kindly.  
\------  
Eryn shook hands with Tom and walked slowly from the building. She decided to walk home rather than back to the set. Taking out her phone, she saw a bunch of texts from Taron and dialled his number. It went to voicemail “I am fine baby, I’m going to go home though, I need a little time to re-charge, I love you”.  
As she began to put the phone away, she thought again. Opening Pinterest, she easily located the store that stocked her dress and half an hour later, she was hugging Henny as they met outside.  



	66. Chapter 66

Chapter 66  
Henny was never one to hold her tongue so she knew, when she stepped out of the changing room, she must look pretty spectacular. Henny just grinned, “I am totally pissed Bab, but darling it might not be Charlene’s and he might not be Jason D, but honey I am so glad you finally get to have your moment, your proper moment. Proper stardust and magic, she waffled as the champagne in their stomach’s fizzed. When Eryn finally looked at her reflection, she almost didn’t recognise herself.  
She shifted as tears began to fall. Her hands shook as she looked, unable to take her eyes away. The store assistant came across, “I think we have a winner” she nodded. Handing Eryn, a tissue and the box to Henny “Certainly, goes with the theme you described” she continued. “Henny stood behind Eryn, shaking her from her daze “You ok, Babs? She asked “Yeah, she bit the inside of her mouth, It’s perfect”  
The girl’s sauntered home, very tipsy the took their time. Eryn had made sure to let Taron know that she had gone out with Henny. But kept the location of course a secret. “You are so fucking lucky Babs” Henny wobbled as they did what they could to hold each other up. Falling into the lift, they sat on the floor as it rose to the penthouse. “I mean we both married fucking pigs, but you …. You found the fucking ONE” Giggling like schoolgirls, the two women smiled politely as the security guy Paul helped them into the apartment. Henny kissed Eryn and knowing where to go was soon passed out, asleep in the spare room.  
Eryn landed on the sofa and saw the silhouette of Taron, in his office. She didn’t often go into the office, it was his place to go, to work or just have space. But she had had enough booze that she wasn’t thinking. Leaning on the door, she pulled down the handle and tried to look seductive. Taron turned, seeing Eryn he scowled “Really, Baby I’m busy” he complained. “Watcha doing?” she slurred. “Eryn” he shouted roughly. She took a step back and tripped over her own feet, falling onto her bum. She stared at Taron as his face changed from anger to concern. Eryn pushed her shoes of and clambered up. Running quickly to the bedroom, she ran into the bathroom and sat pressing her back to the bathroom door. Taron knocked gently “Baby” he said softly” I’m sorry are you ok? He asked through the door.  
“Eryn opened the door and walked past him, she got changed into her pyjamas and got into bed. “Eryn, look I’m sorry I shouted, I was just…” he said breaking off. “I’m tired Taron, go ahead and finish what you were doing, I can sleep” she told him now having sobered up and turned to face away from him. Taron left and slumped in his office chair. Finishing the email, he sent it.  
He was in his office for some time while Eryn sulked, it was one of her bugbears to go to sleep on an argument. But she was refusing to go and find him this time. He had been a moody fucker all day and she had decided this time she wasn’t going to let it go. Her thoughts were forgotten though, when a sheepish Taron crawled on all fours and sat cross legged next to her. She refused to look at him directly.  
Taron pressed something on his phone and the Echo in the room began to play music, Inwardly rolling her eyes to hear Take That playing, ‘Nice try she thought’ and shuffled indignantly. Taron got up and walked around the bed, crawling under the covers, he sat with his back against the headboard. The duvet down by his waist as her favourite track began to play. Eryn heard Taron begin to sing. She couldn’t help but feel the anger dwindling, still she’d make him work for her forgiveness this time. She did roll to face him, though she thought that something about his voice was off, like he was muffled.  
Finally, suspense killing her, her usual impatience had her open her eyes. Bursting in laughter, the most strange involuntary noise escaped her throat, making her raise her hand to her mouth. Laid stark naked, Taron was wearing homemade mask, Gary Barlow’s face replacing his own as he sang into the cardboard. Eryn tried to regain her previous stern face, but when he began to attempt to imitate Gary’s voice. It was simply too much to stop her laughing hysterically.  
“Listen, I get it, why would you want that moody fucker, when you can have me? He began in a brilliant and smooth Cheshire accent. Eryn played along “Oh Gary, at last I’ve waited so long for this” she tried to hide her laughter but failed miserably. “Eryn Kiss me?” Taron demanded leaning forward sticking his tongue through the hole he had cut out of the mouth. Eryn leaned forward and went to kiss the cardboard lips.  
Taron whipped the mask off his face before she was able to. “You really would cheat on me with him, wouldn’t you? He said laughing incredulously. She nodded defiantly. It was then that she saw something on his stomach, in glitter eyeliner he had written ‘YRROS’ “Yrros? Is that welsh? She asked as he looked down “Oh fuck, I did it in the mirror” he moaned making Eryn gaffaw. She shook her head at him as he threw her his best puppy dog expression knowing exactly how it made her give in to him.  
“I am sorry, I really was a total arsehole today, I felt so bad when you sent that text at the therapy appointment and I was looking forward to you coming back, so then when you ditched me for Henny I just got immature and sulky. I was already in a bad mood when you came in and I saw you had been clearly having fun without me, I guess I felt insecure” He admitted. He dropped the mask to the floor and moved nearer to Eryn.  
“I was also organising something when you came in, so I panicked you would ruin it” he said as he slipped his fingers into her hair and tucked it behind her ear.  
“More surprises Welsh Boi? She asked sighing and smiling softly. “You will have to wait for the 28th Sept 21! To find out” he smiled kissing her cheek lightly, testing the water. “So, you were doing wedding stuff too” she mused “By the way, you might want to cover up, Henny’s in the spare room” Eryn giggled remembering “What do you mean to?” He asked looking around and dipping his feet under the duvet and pulling it up over them both “Well the reason we were a little bit…” she began as Taron interrupted “Pissed” Eryn shook her head “Tipsy! She re affirmed “Was because we actually were at a bridal store, it was the free champagne, I was trying out my dress” she finished.  
Taron face planted her chest, “Oh god, I am a bigger tosspot than I thought” he said into her soft stomach “Tosspot” she chuckled “Haven’t heard that term since school” she lifted his head as he pulled a miserable face “ You’re not a tosspot, but you let one bad thing wreck the whole day” she told him “Yeah I know, and that was my own bloody fault, I hate learning lines, but then I can’t blame anyone else when I fuck up” he admitted “yor ros” he said making it sound like a legitimate welsh word “Is that your new version of sorry then? She asked lightly.  
“maybe, I need to say it so fucking often, it seems. I will do better” he told her. She stroked his face. “It’s forgotten, though if I get naked Gary each time you mess up, I might let you keep doing it” she laughed. Taron rolled his eyes and moved across, hovering above her, he leant his chin down and kissed her. “You know what, I’m not sure I want to let him anywhere near you” he said letting his eyes flicker across her face and into her eyes as he stroked his face and ran her lips over his, as he moved in and pressed them together. Caressing her lips with his as she did the same.  
After making up, Taron rested his head on Eryn’s lap. Enjoying the head massage, he was unexpectedly getting. Eryn recounted her therapy session and they talked a little about what they wanted to tell the wedding planner. An appointment was scheduled for Monday, it was one of only three free days Taron had in the next four and six before Eryn had set herself as the deadline to return to Aber. She had yet to tell Taron and wasn’t sure what was making her so scared to do so.  
\------  
The following a rather hungover and dishevelled Henny appeared in the kitchen, as Taron was making coffee. He handed her a strong one and sat with her sipping his own, willing himself to wake up. Eryn was still in the shower and singing loudly. “So, I take it you made up then? Henny asked Taron, lifting her legs up and settling into the corner of the sofa, pulling the throw over herself as she nursed her mug. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain decapitated Gary Barlow head I found on the landing this morning, would it? She asked, he smiled sheepishly.  
His eyes fought to stay open, “You guys kill me, you are so fucking perfect together, You know how much I and so many people I know would kill for what you two have? She mused Taron nodded but found he didn’t know what to say “ You wait until you see her dress, boy you are going to have Kittens darling I swear” she said “ She looked the Mutts, babe I swear” she continued. “I can’t wait” he grinned.  
“I still don’t get why she needs to leave while you’re still here? She said sipping her coffee “ I mean what’s the point in being all the way down in Aber, if you want to get knocked up, I told her” she continued as Taron listened “ I think I need to visit this ‘Aber’ she what all the fuss is about, maybe I’ll go with her in a few weeks, when she goes, I wonder whether that’s a bit cheeky though, Do you reckon the Beeb would give me time off so soon into my contract? Henny waffled. But Taron’s tired brain had clicked on hearing her talk of Eryn leaving in just a few weeks, they hadn’t spoken about any particular date for her to leave, but he assumed it would be when he left the UK. He continued to drink his coffee as Henny’s words disappeared over his head. He was woken by Eryn’s kiss on his cheek and her letting him know that the bathroom was free for him. Eryn dropped onto the sofa with Henny and they began chatting about nothing.  
Once in the trailer, Taron left Eryn to get her stuff organised as usual. They had begun to bring their own extra drinks and healthy snacks rather than wait on the crew. Eryn also brought a few things from home, blankets and cushions to make it more homely and soon she was set up in the bedroom her laptop on and ready. She hopped of the bed and went to find Taron, who was smoking on the step.  
“How about we change things up a bit today and we run lines? I was thinking if I did it with you it would make it less boring and maybe easier to remember” she said chirpily. Taron put out his cigarette and came in, “Ok” he said distracted. Eryn looked at him, knowing their was something wrong immediately “what is it?” she asked “I can see you have something to say” Taron sighed “ Eryn I don’t want to fall out again, but when were you going to tell me you had decided to go the Aber in 6 weeks? He asked. Her face dropped sadly, “ I hadn’t really, it was a rough thing” she said putting her arms around him and pulling him into a hug “ But Taron you knew, I told you I couldn’t live here” she said looking up at him. He looked at her nodding “I just thought you would be here until I was out of the country, what about all the baby making?”  
It was Eryn’s turn to avoid eye contact “I just feel like a fish out of water” she admitted “In Aber, I felt alive, safe” she said. “safe?” he asked “You don’t feel safe? He asked and she nodded. “But it was in Aber that…” Taron didn’t finish his sentence and didn’t need to as Eryn knew how it ended. “But Aber is where we met Taron, where the girls and your mam and guy are, where you and I fell in love and you saved me” her voice softened as she finished speaking. Taron held her hand, “Do you feel safe with me? He asked tentatively Eryn’s immediate response was to tell him yes, but realistically she only felt safe when he was physically by her side and had been hiding her increasing fear of not being.  
She shook her head. Taron’s face screwed up as he took in her words “I feel safe when you are here, like right next to me” she said squeezing his hand “But honestly, otherwise… no” she sighed. “I guess that kind of makes sense” he replied. “I don’t like it, no I fucking hate it, but I get it” he said sucking in his bottom lip. Eryn wrapped her arms around him as they held each other, the 5-minute call rang out “Fuck” he tutted “You need to go, we can talk about this later” Eryn told him as they broke apart.  
“I don’t like the idea of you sat here not feeling safe babe” he told her “I’m ok Taron I am used to not feeling safe, I can handle it for a little while” she told him. He kissed her on the cheek “I still fucking hate it, come onto set please” he asked. Feeling his anxiety and knowing they needed to talk it out, she agreed. Taking his hand “You can be my shadow today” he told her “Just today Taron” she replied “You know we would kill each other if we were this close together 24/7 no one can live like that” she told him linking arms, he nodded “ Well for today at least and we can run lines between scenes” he smiled a little sadly. “Stop that already, I don’t want your pity Welsh Boi” she told him. “ok” he tried to hide his sadness, he felt horrible knowing Eryn felt the way she did, as much as he thought he understood. It hurt that he was unable to give her what she clearly needed.  
He sat in the make up chair as Eryn made herself comfortable on the couch in the trailer and watched the ladies at work, it was fascinating to see how it all happened soon the group were laughing and the banter was high.


	67. Chapter 67

Chapter 67  
The whole 12-seater dining table was covered, samples and mood boards littered the place, it was crazy. But Taron found he was ridiculously excited once they began to look at everything. The couple had spoken a fair bit about what they didn’t want, Eryn having been already down the aisle to Phil, wanted nothing that would trigger any memories, this wasn’t too difficult as she was honest about the appalling ‘wedding’ she’d had.  
The Fairy theme soon evolved to include Eryn’s love of rainbows and pastel colours. Taron loved incorporating the rainbow into things, his passion for Gay rights was as strong as Eryn’s and it felt right to have the subtle side effect of her rainbow addiction included. Whilst Eryn looked at shoes and hair, Taron went into the lounge with ‘Jill the Planner’s’ assistant ‘Craig’, who went through the grooms outfit and groomsmen, Taron had finally chosen Bleddyn as Best man, the other’s were ushers and of course Guy needed an outfit to give Eryn away in. Guy had been overwhelmed when she asked him on their last day in Aber. It had all the family in tears and seemed to bring the four adults so much closer, he had and the rest had sent their measurements via email and were on Zoom while the men discussed what Craig had brought. The idea was to match the bride and theme, but Taron also wanted it to be something unique and unusual knowing Eryn would love it. There was plenty of loud discussion coming from the laptop.  
Once the door was closed, Jill brought out a catalogue and a box of lingerie items. “I have to admit that I have read a little of your work Eryn and I guessed that you would be interested in a little surprise for the wedding night” she smiled Eryn and Henny laughed “What you got Jill? Henny asked as she held up a red lace corset and shook her head “I guess it depends are you going for an Angel by Day to Sexy She-devil by night, or do you want to keep on the white and go to sweet candy in the lingerie” Jill told them. Eryn and Henny went through the catalogue as Jill showed them the real items as they picked them out.  
“Erm Jill, we are all done in here, let me know when we can come back in” Craig said peering round the door. Taron was already very intrigued by the sounds of laughter and giggles coming from the other room, it was a lot of high jinx type noises for only choosing shoes and hair. Those Eryn had already found online, she chose a gorgeous pair of heels with wings, They were stiletto’s which had concerned her, but Jill had been able to telephone the producers of the shoe and source a mid-heel version. She loved the idea of also buying converse to wear in between photographs. Hair wise she was also already sure how she wanted it; Jill was responsible for finding the right people to do the job. Bridesmaid dresses were chosen and hair decided on, Mari and Rosie would see their outfits on the day, they too would have their hair done. Tina was also present via the power of technology on Eryn’s laptop, along with the Aber girls.  
Finally, they found the perfect lingerie set and all of the items were soon tucked away, and Taron returned to the room, while Craig finished putting away the grooms wear as well so that it was kept a surprise too. The couple were so glad they had completed the email list they had been sent as they found so many of the small and boring details were covered by what they had said.  
Landing on the sofa, all three were exhausted by the time Jill was finished and left them all with brains spinning with emotion and information. Eryn sat on Taron’s lap in the armchair, her legs over the left arm. “God I’m fucking depressed” Henny groaned “Look at you two, loved up puppies” she added as she pushed herself off the sofa “If I stay any longer, I’m gonna puke” she moaned. Walking over she kissed Taron on the cheek and then Eryn “Joking you know, I love you motherfuckers” she smiled “This wedding is going to be Fucking Spectacular” she declared as she walked toward the door laughing “ See ya later losers” she shouted as the door banged shut.  
Taron rested his head on Eryn. closing his eyes, he smiled “So many surprises and secrets to keep, this is going to kill you? He looked at her “I know, talk about testing my patience” she pouted. “It’ll be worth it” Taron said as he began to leave little peck kisses on her neck. She hummed and sighed heavily “I’m shattered” she said quietly, “You need to go to bed” he smiled as she nodded, smirking. Taron scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom, laying her on the bed, he moved to lay on top. Continuing to kiss her neck, but with a little more urgency. As her hands found the nape of his neck and her nails ran down it and to his back, she let her fingertips glide down the length of his torso as he moved into her cleavage. His hands disappeared beneath her back and expertly unclipped her bra. His fingers sliding the straps down her arms and yanking it out of her top.  
She rolled to the side, pulling her dress off over her head, she raised her top leg and hooked it over his hip, his hand gripping her thigh as she unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off.  
He undid his belt and moved her leg while he wriggled free of his jeans and boxers, kicking them down the bed. He grabbed her thigh and returned it to his hip. He was already hard and as he did this, she felt him against the outside of her. She wriggled her own knickers off and dropped them to the floor. Her hands took his face and she ran her lips gently over his, closing her eyes she let them almost touch urging him to beg and plead for them. He complied and soon their lips were tangled together. Taron leaning back teased her clit with the tip of his cock, rubbing it against her as his hand ran lightly over it, sending ripples of pleasure through her, making her desperate for him.  
She took him in her hand and held him firm, running her hand slowly up the shaft, he groaned and dropped his head taking her nipple into his mouth, his teeth grazing it causing her to gasp. She trembled at his touch as he slid inside her. Wrapping her leg tighter using it to pull him to her, they moved together, tightly pressed together as he ground himself into her, slowly and firmly. The intensity was invigorating and sensual as Eryn whimpered and he growled into her shoulder, they came in unison. Remaining side by side, but in the tightest of embraces. Shuddering as sweat dripped from his forehead Taron looked deeply into Eryn’s eyes, desire and love clear in the glinting light from them. Eryn too was covered in a sheen of moisture as tears rested in her eyes. Taron understood them to be happy tears, now knowing Eryn so well. He kissed her lightly “I will always keep you safe” he said “I know” Eryn replied.  
They released their grip as Taron no longer hard, pulled himself out, but let no time pass before he pulled her close again. This time Eryn laid on Taron’s stomach, her fingers played with the hair around his navel, tickling him a little “This is my favourite bit” she told him “Really? of all of me, That, is your favourite” he asked chuckling at her choice “It doesn’t even have a name does it? it’s like lower stomach or something” he added. “It does have a name, It’s called ‘my favourite bit’ she said in a sweet, childlike way. He laughed louder this time “Ok, so If i go to the GP and when they ask where it hurts what do I say? He asked grinning “You say my Eryn’s favourite bit hurts, of course” she answered. He shook his head and laughed again.  
“Well it’s not what I expected to be your favourite bit, I thought it was the mole on my Adam’s apple” he asked resting his hands behind his head “Bernie?” she asked, making Taron cackle with laughter. Eryn grinned wide eyed at his reaction. “You named my mole too? He beamed at her “Bernie?” he questioned “Yeah after Jesus shit Bernie of course” she told him loving his reaction to her silliness “Of course, so go on then, what about my dick? He asked “Actually, he doesn’t have a name yet” she mused “I shall name you…” she said thinking. Taron pulled her higher as simultaneously he scrunched down until they were eye to eye “Be kind” he said “Loki” she announced smiling “Loki? Not Thor?” he asked “Well I did think Molineux, but it’s not pithy enough, and Thor is too serious” she explained “Loki is the god of mischief” she grinned up at him. He tilted his head and smiled at her “So, seeing as you get to name bit’s of me, does that mean I can do the same with you? he asked a mischievous glint in his eye. “Of course! Eryn declared, instantly regretting her decision when she saw the look of glee on Taron’s face.  
Later, when all the fun and banter began to slow, along with their need for rest. Taron lay stroking Eryn’s hair as she drifted off “I’m sorry I don’t make you feel safe baby, I wish I could, wish I knew how” he mused quietly. Not realising Eryn was still awake. Opening her eyes, she looked at him desperately sad. “You do make me feel safe Taron, she said blinking and looking into his eyes “But only when I’m right next to you, that’s not good enough, I don’t want to be here without you, I don’t want you to only feel safe in Aber, I don’t want you to leave in 6 weeks” he added softly.  
Eryn rested her forehead on his “I will stay until you leave” she told him “But I will know that it’s not where you feel safe” he said sadly closing his eyes “I’m safe here” she said taking his arms wrapping them around herself. “I want more than that for you” he told her. “I know baby, Maybe I will talk to Tom and you could with Cameron? She suggested “I guess, I just feel like I should know what to do? he admitted “why?” she asked “ I’m supposed to know, I’m your man, that’s what I’m meant to do isn’t it, like cavemen and all that, It’s a basic masculine thing, You are the one who protects your family, what kind of … father am I going to be if I can’t make you feel safe” he stuttered voicing things he had no idea had been rattling around in the background.  
“Well not being a man, I don’t really know about masculinity, but I didn’t realise it was something that bothered you” she told him “ of course it does, it’s like you said when you had the hysterectomy, you felt less of a woman, I didn’t say it, but I didn’t see it like that, your still feminine whether you have the body parts, but I got how you felt, it’s part of your identity isn’t it” he rested against the headboard and Eryn found her spot and snuggled up into him “You can only do so much though, ok so think of it this way, you’re an actual caveman and if you had a cow or whatever, you build a brick shelter for it, gave it food water and care. But it refused to eat or stay in the shelter. Then whose to blame for it dying? That’s a crap example but you get what I mean, I’m tired” She chuckled lightly Taron joined in with her “ It was pretty dodgy, but I do know what you mean? “How do you convince your emotions to accept the logical? That’s the problem, I know it, but still it feels…. urgh” he groaned.  
“If I knew the answer to that, I think I could save us all a lot of heartbreak” she sighed. Taron stroked her hair “Sorry babe you were sleeping” he said as Eryn yawned widely “Sleep, isn’t important, you are” she mumbled and he chuckled “ cute, but I’d say you need it the opposite way round” he said watching her eyes flicker closed “ Never tell me you are not important Welsh Boi, you are the mostest of the most important” she told him. He stroked her cheek “Go to sleep” he whispered as she drifted off, he watched her breathing steadily.  
As he slid her gently on to the mattress, he lay on his side and continued to gaze at her. Maybe Cameron was more likely to understand where he was coming from being a guy as well or maybe his sentimentality was getting in the way. He had fallen into the trap of needing a reality check or two in that department before. Still he wished he understood why she didn’t feel safe, what was she so scared of? What did she think was going to happen? He thought again about not being there to stop Phil, he was trying hard not to blame himself, but couldn’t help but think that it was the reason she felt as she did, not wanting to hurt him or make him blame himself more, was she keeping it to herself?


	68. Chapter 68

Chapter 68  
Eryn was so excited; Halloween was her very favourite holiday. Having been prevented by her mother’s ridiculous fears as a child from celebrating it. She as an adult took great delight in revelling in it. It was dramatic, creative, theatrical and you didn’t have to look pretty or be a particular size or shape to enjoy it all. It was all comer event and that was why she adored it. Of course, it helped to stick one finger up to her old lady too.  
The couple had found it hard to decide on what to wear, wanting to match as their first outing needed to be god. They were attending a proper celeb party to begin with, and they knew there would be Paps waiting for them. The guys from Aber as well as Henny and a few of her work pals were all coming too, and the apartment was due to soon be pre party central. Eryn had allowed Taron to get united involved as it was a publicity coo for them, and they had done wonders sending Stella over with a range of cool costumes to choose from. Taron desperately wanted to go for spiderman and Mary Jane, but heard that another celeb was going as Spidey, meant they had to choose something else.  
Stella had organised hair and make-up professionals as well and they were working on Eryn’s look right now while Taron got drinks and snacks ready for the guests coming along. As they sprayed the cold spray tan on her body, Eryn grinned. She knew Taron was disappointed with his own outfit, even though as always Taron pulled the look off perfectly, she knew he would get a real kick out of hers and hoped it would make up for his disappointment.  
He certainly wasn’t letting it get him down, as he swooped around the lounge, laughing and acting the fool. When she was done stella and the other girls came out and got themselves a drink and a rest before they were going to be called on to help add to what their friends were bringing alone to wear. Henny in particular was coming early to ensure she was first to get the full treatment.  
Eryn pulled her best villainous expression as she stood in the doorway, her crimson nails drumming on the wooden frame. Taron turned to look and shook his head, taking in the full look. He swooped again his black cape, grabbing his mask he swiftly moved behind Eryn and whispered into her ear “Well, well, well what is a delicate flower like yourself doing here in the dark depths of Gotham City? He drawled giving his best Batman impression.  
His leather outfit was already giving Eryn the ‘feels’ as she turned and ran her nails down the fitted muscular chest. The mask covering the top of Taron’s face leaving only his lips and strong chin exposed, was a proper turn on. “Now you know that some of us flowers, have thorns don’t you” Eryn warned him batting her sparkling red eyelashes. She had chosen her favourite DC villainess Poison Ivy and Stella had done her proud. Her risqué red bodysuit with it’s sheer panels was awesome, and she felt completely in character, loving the sexiness it gave her.  
She was about to kiss Taron, when there was a knock at the door and Henny came bustled into the place, followed closely by Bleddyn, Jack, Deian, Kat and Niamh. Meghan brought up the rear. “Fuck yes mate” the boys quickly checking out Taron’s batman as the girls hugged and everyone, Henny had already done her introductions in the lift coming up, soon everyone was chatting and drinking, each taking their costumes to the make-up and hair girls, to get done up.  
Soon the music was playing, and everyone was about ready to leave, united paying for a set of cars to get them to and from. The drivers announced they were ready, and the group poured down to them. Taron took Eryn’s hand and smiled “Don’t worry I will keep you safe tonight little lady” he growled “ Eryn shook her head “Oi Welsh Boi, from this point on your dealing with Ivy, so you can drop that ‘safety’ thing ok” she told him firmly.  
“I see, and independent little twig, aren’t you? He said keeping in character, making her laugh forgetting her own, before composing herself again. “Darling, we cannot stay little stems all our lives, we have to branch out sometime” she said smugly loving her puns. Henny grabbed her hand “Urgh, You two” she moaned “Come here Ren, I need to know who the single ones and I are also need someone to scream with when we get there” she said linking Eryn’s arm. She shrugged at Taron who glared dramatically before winking and finding his bestie Bleddyn and falling easily into chat with the group.  
Taron, Henny and Jack took one car as the others split between the others. Soon they were arriving, alerted by the flashing camera’s and road chocka with cars. They had to stop and get out a little further down the road. Taron’s group were used to the situation and Niamh and Kat grabbed Henny, taking her ahead so the ‘power couple’ could be snapped alone.  
It wasn’t meant to be a professional red-carpet type entrance, that wasn’t to say that both the legitimate press as well as the paps didn’t have a well-practiced routine in place. Celebs would enter as if they had no idea the cameras would be there, there were no interviews or stopping to pose. Which made it easier, but they would still ensure they looked as good as possible and smiling congenially.  
Once inside they could relax and Henny found Eryn again quickly “Shit Eryn I have just seen Simon Cowell and David Walliams” she chuckled, linking arms again she pulled her away from Taron. Who gestured to Eryn, did she want a drink? She nodded and mouthed ‘sorry’ as she was dragged away with more words about who Henny had seen.  
Taron joined the queue for the free bar as someone slipped their arm around his waist, Smiling he turned to see Emily and not Eryn as he expected. “Hi” he said his face confused as she kissed his cheek “hi” she smiled. They were interrupted by the barman. Taron gave his drinks order, aware that Emily’s arm hadn’t left his waist. He managed to step free as the crowd cajoled them. Taking a glass of red wine, he turned and handed it to Emily. “Thanks” she smiled “You still remember my drink” she added as he took the other two glasses and nodded “Of course I do Em, Have a good night yeah” he moved away before she could pull him into a conversation.  
Finding Eryn and Henny, he felt suddenly horrible, not having thought to get a drink for Henny. He apologised as he handed Eryn hers. “Useless, aren’t you?” Henny smiled and saw the opportunity to leave the couple alone headed off for the bar. Taron leant against the wall, his arm ran around her waist and he pulled her to him. “I just bumped into Emily at the bar” he told her, speaking into her ear over the noise of the music. She looked at him “and?” she answered. “And nothing, I got her a drink to save her queuing and told her to have a good night, I wanted you to know, in case there are any more misunderstandings” he said staring directly into her eyes, She took his hand nodding.  
Saying all they needed to say with their eyes and micro expressions. He leant forward and kissed her gently, the hand around her squeezing her. “Let’s dance” he smiled. “Is that any way to ask a lady to dance? She said dramatically getting back into character “I apologise” he said gruffly “Madam, May I escort you to the dance floor? He asked, making Eryn’s heart flip. He held out his hand and she took it, letting him lead her to the crowded dance floor where Niamh and Kat, Deian and Bleddyn were already. As they danced, they chatted to each other occasionally. It was then that Eryn saw her, Emily was dressed as Cat woman. ‘A little cliché her spiteful side chirped, but her jealousy joined in when she took in Emily’s prefect, lithe figure and big bright eyes. Feeling her confidence fading a little, she excused herself and went to the bathroom.  
She leant against the basins, as Henny came in. “Go on then, I saw that look” she asked her friend. Eryn explained and Henny hugged her “Fuck her” she said “c’mon he is marrying you woman and trying to knock you up, you bought a fucking house together” she reminded her. Eryn sighed “I know, I know, she’s just so fucking pretty and slim” she groaned “yeah alright maybe, but like I said fuck her, she doesn’t have Taron’s heart, not anymore” she reassured her friend as she reapplied her lipstick. Eryn did the same and looked at her reflection. As Emily entered the bathroom and went into a cubicle. Eryn nudged Henny, “Is that her? Henny mouthed and nodded. The women washed their hands and fluffed their hair as Emily emerged and began to wash her hands.  
“It’s Emily isn’t it? Said Henny, making Eryn close her eyes and hold her breath. Emily turned and for the first time Eryn came face to face with her. “Yes” Emily said quietly “Henny, Maid of Honour” Henny proffered her hand and Emily shook it cordially. “Oh yes, Congratulations Eryn, I saw the press release” she said. “Thank You” Eryn said looking at her feet. “So, it was great to meet you” Henny smiled with a tinge of a warning in her look as Emily nodded “You too” she added as she began to leave she stopped as if she wanted to say something, but continued to leave. Eryn finally exhaled “Fuck Henny, I thought you were going to scratch her fucking eyes out” Eryn groaned. “Nah, she got the message and if she didn’t well, I will make it clearer if need be” she grinned. “Now come on I hear my Jam” she grabbed Eryn and pulled her through the door and back onto the dancefloor.  
Eryn found Taron again and wrapped her arms around his neck, “You ok? He asked feeling the atmosphere and not knowing what was going on. She nodded nonchalantly, smiling. As Henny winked at her “Really? then what was that about? He asked “we bumped into Emily in the ladies, that’s all” Eryn told him. He looked worried “It’s fine, she congratulated us actually” she smiled. Taron looked around for Emily, but returned his focus to Eryn “Well, erm, cool” he replied. Returning to the dancing.  
\----  
They were grateful to get back to the apartment and that the troupe had booked into hotels, as it meant the couple could have a little time alone. Taron peeled the mask off and stretched his face. It was hot and sweaty from the leather and he had a red line from where the mask cut across his face. Eryn removed her heels and rested on the sofa. Both were fairly drunk and exhausted. Taron went into the bathroom and pulled at his costume. Eryn heard a crash followed by cursing, peering around the door, she found Taron on the floor his costume stuck around his thighs. Moaning. He looked up at her for help.  
She chuckled and squeezed through the gap in the door, holding onto the hem of the suit, she pulled as Taron rolled it from the top. Suddenly with a loud ‘pop’ as Eryn fell backwards, and the suit finally came free. Banging her head on the toilet Eryn groaned “Why am I always getting hurt? Damn it” Taron crawled drunkenly to her “sorry baby, let me kiss it better” he offered, but Eryn fluffed him away. He pouted, pulling of the G-string he had work under the suit, Eryn laughed “omg what the fuck is that? She covered her mouth laughing “ Hey it was Stella’s idea” he complained, spinning it on his index finger, he pulled the elastic and pinged it at her “Urgh, its all sweaty” she grimaced and picking it up in her index finger and thumb dropped it into the waste bin. “Not sexy then? Taron asked, now naked he crawled over to Eryn, coming so close to her face she had to lean back a little, as she felt his alcohol tinged breath “Never wanted you more” she told him sarcastically.  
“Come on let’s make a baby” he said grinning, drunkenly. Eryn laughed and kissed him sweetly, “Go on then go get in bed, while I wash this off” she said “Keep it, I like it” he said raising an eyebrow. “You might, but my skin won’t thank me for sleeping in it” she told him. He groaned and tripping a couple of times, he headed over to the bed, leaving the bathroom door open. Eryn could see him climbing in and promptly falling asleep as she expected.  
She chuckled and set to work, removing her wig and make-up. She undressed and put on her sexiest nightie. It was grey and cotton, but somehow as it hit all the right curves, it left her feeling sensually sexy. When she was done, she poured two large glasses of water and set them each on their bedside and placed some paracetamol on Taron’s side for when he woke.  
Drinking a fair bit of her own, she climbed in and snuggled up to Taron, who instinctively moved to tangle himself with her. His eyes closed and sleeping gently, Eryn kissed his chest and closed her own. She ran the interaction with Emily through her mind, she hated how she compared herself to Emily all the time, but even more hated how she envied her looks. She ran her hands down her body and across the curve of her stomach and ‘muffin top’ pinching the ‘fat’ she sighed. Letting go and feeling the cellulite on her thighs, she thought of Emily’s perfect long leg in her pvc catsuit. Eryn tried to shake the thoughts as she thought about her own body and her difficulties in accepting it and it’s beauty. Dreaming of smaller everything, She drifted off.


	69. Chapter 69

Chapter 69  
The alarm sounded and Taron scrunched down under the duvet to the bottom of the bed, he found Eryn’s feet and began to kiss her ankles, tickling her. She in turn found his shoulder and pushed him out the end of the bed. Hitting the floor, he groaned “No fair” he complained, getting up and pulling the duvet off her “Hey cold” she cried. “Fair’s, fair” he laughed and headed into the kitchen to make coffee, wrapping duvet around himself and taking it with him, he heard the shower and knew Eryn had got up.  
He leant against the counter and looked at the calendar, the red circles standing out like they were taunting him. He flipped the pages counting the months since they began to try for real and then even further back to when Eryn had her operation. 8 months had now past since they had really begun and over 12, since the op. He sighed and turned back to his coffee. Time was quickly passing, and the wedding too was getting closer. Taron had managed to get 4 full months free to cover pre and post wedding. Today was his final day filming and he had already helped Eryn pack the van for the return to Aber the following morning.  
He was excited to spend a week back with family and to get settled into the cottage, but the idea of leaving Eryn behind sucked. As he finished making the coffee as she wandered in with her hair tied in a towel and another wrapped around her body. He grinned mischievously at her. “None of your tricks Welsh Boi, the car’s due in 20 minutes” she warned as she dodged him, he pouted and winked as he went into the bedroom for his own shower and to get dressed.  
Without realising, he had left the calendar on the worktop, Eryn put it back onto the wall, curious as to why he had taken it down she saw the familiar red circles too and mentally calculated when she would be due her next period. Sighing she counted 8 days. “if she got pregnant the day before, would she still bleed? She wondered and picked up her phone asking Siri. Who promptly told her that it was possible to bleed throughout pregnancy, though more often at the beginning, all bleeding ought to be checked out once pregnancy is confirmed. ‘Blah blah’ Eryn called out to Siri, well I’m not yet so thanks but shut up” she groaned, grabbing her coffee, she went and got dressed. Opting for comfort today, she chose a soft pair of joggers and vest top, she then rooted in Taron’s cupboard and found her favourite fleecy jumper of his and pulled it on. He walked out of the bathroom “ok, so when do I get to wear that one again? He asked. “Well, I’m going to need your smell on it when you leave so, either you will have to rub up against me a lot this next week or I will have to find another snuggly jumper while your wear this” she smiled sitting and pulling on her trainers and tying her hair into a messy bun.  
“I vote for the rubbing up against choice” he smiled pushing her back on the bed, “Why are you always so frisky first thing Welsh Boi” she tutted kissing him, he shrugged and as he did, droplets of water from his hair scattered across the bed, hitting Eryn in the face and making her scrunch it up. Taron ran his hand up under his fleece and found her bare stomach, stroking gently. She closed her eyes, inwardly cringing. It was always hard when he ran across that area. But since the Halloween party, Eryn had a permanent image of Emily in the catsuit, her taught flat stomach and perfect bosom. It seemed to be more powerful being who she was, but Eryn had increasingly found her own body disappointing, especially her stomach, since seeing her.  
It had never been small or flat. Not that she desired a concave figure. But it was round and protruded a fair distance forward, it was scarred and covered in stretchmarks. If she was feeling her worst, it disgusted her, and she had yet to discuss any of it with Taron. Knowing the things, he would say, the fact that it would be yet another thing he couldn’t do anything about or worse still might try by doing the typical, kind things people did. Ultimately, it was too complex to fix easily and Eryn chose for that reason to push it to the deepest recess of her thoughts. It was only when she was caught out like she had been by the image of Emily, that it affected her.  
The phone rang, warning that the car was here for them, “Damn” Taron groaned and quickly got up and began to throw clothes on. “Every single day Welsh Boi” Eryn chided him picking up their bags and phones, she pulled on her baseball cap and pressed old favourite to his head, showing him that she had his phone and sunglasses. He shoved his wallet into his back pocket and grabbed his jacket.  
\-----  
Eryn sat on the director’s chair with Taron’s name across the back as she typed into her laptop, Taron was busy with a scene in front and discussing with Matthew Vaughn something or other. Eryn looked up occasionally and Taron gave her a wink, she smiled and shook her head. But as the scene was set three ladies walked on set, wearing dressing robes and a lot of make-up, hair sculpted and preened within an inch of its life, something about them made Eryn feel uneasy. She wasn’t sure why.  
Taron came and stood behind the chair peering over Eryn’s shoulder, he kissed her cheek. “You ok” he asked, “Uh huh” she replied, “Just writing, erm Taron who are they?” she asked gesturing to the ladies. He chuckled and handed Eryn the script. Reading the stage instructions, her eyes widened. She had of course watched his love scenes on the screen and had never even thought about them. But she had never been on set as they were filmed. It was then that she noticed that Taron was also in a dressing robe. She swallowed and sucked her bottom lip into her mouth as she pulled him nearer “What exactly have you got on under there?” she tried to sound light, He opened the robe to reveal another of the ugliest skin coloured G-strings. She couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled the robe closed.  
“Not another of those things” she said chuckling. She felt a little better knowing that he wouldn’t be nude, but while he wandered back on set to talk to the girls. She scanned the script he had left with her for the scene. As she read the stage instructions, her heart sank, and she was sure the green was showing in her eyes as she imagined what was about the happen in front of her.  
Sure enough, the closed set was called, and all unnecessary crew withdrew. Eryn looked to Taron, unsure if it mean her too, But he shook his head imperceptibly. She wriggle a little gutted but looked down at her laptop, to save her. When she looked up everyone had stripped off their robes. Eryn’s eyes were on the first of the three girls, her long slim legs, she was also wearing a skin coloured G-string and as she scanned the group, she noted that they were all the same. As her eyes rose though she sucked in her own stomach as her eyes grazed their taught, flat bellies and she looked quickly back down as she noted their perfectly shaped breasts.  
She had no idea what she was typing because she wasn’t even thinking words, she was instead doing what women somehow grow up being taught to do, compare, seek out areas of imperfection, hone in and attack. Her head was going crazy, images of Emily, broke through into images of the girls ahead of her as her vision flickered between the screen on her lap and then to Taron. It got worse than simply being in the room with these perfect goddesses she was forced to watch as Taron ran his hands all over them. She swallowed the lump in her throat, but her breaths were already scatty and getting more rapid as she types gobbledegook onto the keyboard.  
She suddenly felt very hot, hot and a little nauseous. She didn’t even feel herself do it, but the laptop clattered noisily onto the floor as her feet carried her as fast as possible out of there, not knowing or caring where to, she broke out into bright sunlight. Still moving as fast as possible, she found herself at the security gate and running through it, she stopped. She was about to hail a taxi, when she dropped to her knees, out of breath as the world seemed to spin around her, She saw grass and then darkness as she passed out.  
When she opened her eyes, she was aware of someone behind her, his arms were around her waist and she immediately knew. She stroked his hand “You with us again? He asked softly as she turned over and buried her head in his chest “I fucked up your scene? She asked sounding like a statement more than a question. “Matthew, just called lunch early, it’s fine, he understands” Taron soothed “understands? Understands what exactly? Eryn asked irritated “That I need to be with you if you have a panic attack, that is what happened right? He asked confused by her tone  
“So, Matthew knows I’m a freak who else have you been telling about my freaky episodes” she asked her heart pounding in her chest, she wasn’t sure why she was so angry or even bothered. She didn’t hide her mental health struggles usually. She sat up and crossed her arms, crossing her legs too. She tried to hold in her tears, “Anyway I’m fine now, so you can go film your scene” she told him, barely looking at him as her bottom lip quivered, a tear escaped her eye and she roughly wiped it aside.  
“Eryn, this isn’t like you, what’s going on? Taron sighed “I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me” he told her. “There’s nothing to talk about” she huffed as there was a knock on the door. Taron sighed heavily and went to answer it, It was a runner with Eryn’s laptop. It seemed to have survived the fall from her lap and Taron thanked the runner and laid it on the table, out of curiosity he opened it and began to read what seemed to be one long sentence with no punctuation apart from exclamation marks and question marks.  
It broke his heart as he read what Eryn had written. He sat and continued to take it all in, it was like a monologue of her thoughts and knowing when she’d written it and what had happened next. Things made a lot more sense. He took a deep breath and walked back into the bedroom where he saw Eryn was curled up facing away from the door, her body shook as she cried.  
He put the laptop on the side table and walked around to the other side, crouching next to her he stroked her face “That was someone returning your laptop” he said softly, “It’s all good, no damage” he told her and she nodded. “Budge up? he asked. Despite there being an expanse behind her, he wanted to see if she would let him in.  
She moved back as he lay next to her and wrapped his arms around her. “Matthew is the only one who knows about your panic attacks, he’s a good guy, he needed to know baby, so he understands if I need to help you” he told her “I’m sorry, I don’t care who you tell” she replied “It doesn’t stop me being a freak” she spat. “I thought you told me that you weren’t going to call yourself that anymore” he added softly.  
“Eryn? Can we talk about what you wrote on the laptop, please? He asked, she looked at him, confused. “What I wrote on the laptop? When?” she asked. Taron gestured to the laptop on the side, and she reached over and opened it. She remembered that she had been typing away when the panic attack came on and expected to see a bunch of letters and numbers or nonsense writing. As it was it was a mess, without punctuation she noted.  
But as she began to read, she understood why Taron felt the need to talk. It was apparently deeply therapeutic for her to have her hands on a keyboard during a panic attack, because laid out in front of her in size 20 Times New Roman was a diatribe of all the things she hated about herself, about her appearance, intertwined with comments about the scene in front of her and Emily. It was hard to read, not just because the language was brutal and incredibly strong. But because it was all true. It was like all of the truths about her relationship with her body was now laid out in text for all to see.  
She shut the laptop and closed her eyes. Taron reached out a hand and laid it on her arm. She opened her eyes and crawled over to him, he wrapped her again in his arms. “What was that? Taron asked softly. “I don’t really know, I don’t remember writing anything in particular, I know I was typing, but I remember thinking it will be just a load of jumble.” She told him. “So, was it a panic attack? He asked confused and Eryn nodded burying her head further, if it were possible as he stroked the nape of her neck. Kissing it gently, “It’s my job Eryn” he said after some time in silence.  
“I know, it’s not that” she looked at him and kissed him gently “I was a little bit jealous” she admitted smiling a bit, Taron smiled back “A little bit is ok, I suppose, shows you still care” he said raising an eyebrow. “ I’ve done stuff like that before, I mean I was all over Rich in Rocketman and naked in ‘The Smoke’” he said and Eryn explained that she couldn’t explain it, that it happening right in front of her and physically being close to the action was maybe a factor. “It was more the girls and how they looked, I think” she told him.  
“The thing mentioned Emily” he asked apprehensively. Eryn’s face reddened and she curled into him, so she didn’t have to look at him “Eryn Riley, do not hide from me? He said softly. She took a few moments, but sighed and raised her head, looking at him. “I know what you’re going to say” she said sadly “try me” he replied “I envy her… ok her body, how she looks, her eyes, hair …” she coughed and dropped her eyes again.  
Taron could see Eryn wasn’t just being ‘a girl’ over this, it genuinely was hurting her. He lifted her face and kissed her “You are beautiful Eryn” he said as genuinely as he could, “I can tell you that until the cows come home, I wish you could see it and feel it too” he told her as tears again moistened her cheeks. “You really looked incredible in the poison Ivy costume and I couldn’t take my eyes off you all night, I wasn’t the only one either, trust me, I saw the looks you were getting” he continued, wiping the tears gently from her cheeks.  
They were interrupted by the 30-minute call, “You don’t need to come onto set this afternoon, while we do this scene” he said “maybe have a nap or something” he suggested. “ Eryn, I love you, no one else and everything about you, inside and outside” he sighed “You are beautiful, hot and sexy as fuck! baby, if I have to tell you every minute of everyday for it to sink in, I will” he told her, making her laugh.  
“No more panic attacks though, It’s all pretend and I am coming back here and we are going home, so I can knock you up” he said cheekily as he got up to get to hair and make-up. Eryn sat up and ran her hand through her hair, “I love you too baby, you know that? She said, he leant down and kissed her “I know”.  
Once Taron had left, Eryn heaved a heavy sigh and opened the laptop, re-reading what she had written, removing the odd bits that made no sense. She carved it up and added punctuation. Once she finished it became a pretty decent poem. She saved it and shut it down.  
There was a knock at the door, so she got up and answered, It was the Make -up team “Hey Eryn, can we come in?” they asked, and she nodded. They were carrying a bag each and put them on the counter in the main room, this had the traditional changing room mirror, surrounded by lights. “Right, firstly I’m Jacky and this is Chloe, we heard about what happened, how are you feeling? Jacky asked. “I’m good now, thank you” Eryn said shyly still confused as to why these women were here. “Now you are probably wondering why we are here? Jacky said. “Taron was explaining that you were feeling a little bit down and wondered if we wouldn’t mind cheering you up with a little makeover” Jacky grinned,  
“Now we love a make-over don’t we Chloe? said Jacky. Eryn chuckled “What did he tell you? “ Just that seeing him with those skinny bitches were making you feel a bit shit, I tell you what I’m not surprised, but I tell you Eryn, miserable lot they are, you know why, they eat nothing, and they are really boring aren’t they Chloe” It seemed as though Chloe rarely had the chance to get a word in with Jacky, but she was such a lovely lady, it was so much fun to check out all the make-up and play around with different looks. By the time the call came for the end of the days filming Eryn, Jacky and Chloe had gotten so caught up in the fun, they didn’t hear it.  
So, when Taron appeared in the trailer asking for help to get his wig off and complaining that the wardrobe and make-up trailers were empty. The two professionals had to run off. Taron following behind.  
Eryn packed their things up ready for when he got back, catching herself in the mirror. She stopped and took a breath. The ‘girls’ had done a wonderful job and she smiled at the light glitter they’d sprinkled on her eyelids and pink blush that accentuated her cheeks. She smiled again as Taron appeared over her shoulder in the mirror “See beautiful” he said kissing her cheek.  
“Thank you for my makeover” Eryn smiled and turned to face him “I know it doesn’t fix everything that you feel, but I thought it might cheer you up a little bit at least” he told her. She leant her forehead on his and closed her eyes. “I do wish I could see what you do Taron” she breathed “I know baby, I know” he soothed.


	70. Chapter 70

Chapter 70  
Eryn was already excitable as they came through the Toll and as soon as signs to Aberystwyth were coming up, she wriggled in her seat. Like an over tired toddler, she was desperate to get there. Taron chuckled at her as he too found himself excited, he tried to push feelings of sadness to the back of his mind. Approaching the gates, Eryn jumped out to open them and let Taron and the van through. Taron laughed as she remembered they were electric, Taron continued to park up, making Eryn run after him.  
Out of breath and breathing heavily, she scowled playfully at him, jumping on the spot. He chuckled at her and held the keys just out of her reach, “Tease” she pouted making her puppy dog face at him, he closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her holding the keys behind her back as she tried to grab them. She kissed his neck, and jaw as he held them out of the way. “Nope, no” he told her.  
He stepped back and handed her the keys, but before she could move, he scooped her up off the floor “What are you doing?” she squealed “Carrying you over the threshold of course” he grinned “ You do that when we get married, you wally” she laughed “Nah, it’s our house and I want to carry you over the threshold” he beamed. But as they reached the door, he had to get her to unlock it. Almost dropping her in the meantime, the pair laughed as they struggled. Eventually, she had to jump down, unlock the door and then he picked her back up.  
Kicking the door open, he stepped over the doorstep and into the hallway, letting her down. Taron turns on the light as the house is lit, they take in their new home. Eryn kissed Taron excitedly as she heads into the large open plan lounge leading to the kitchen that stretches across the back of the property. A glass wall leads to a decked area and down steps to the garden, enclosed by tall trees and shrubs, giving a wonderful sense of security and safety. Eryn still in the lounge, though runs her hand along the sofa and takes in the way Guy and Tina had laid everything out perfectly. She stopped at seeing Taron’s favourite leather chair, sat on it is ‘Charlie Bear’ along with a pile of books in a red ribbon.  
Taron following Eryn’s eye line sees it too and is on the pile pf books, like a hungry animal. Reading the spines, he gets excited and shows Eryn, who nods. She is taking in the fireplace and rug, Thoughts of Christmas’s by the fire, stockings hanging down, one for each of them. One, two large and one small. She swallows the lump in her throat. Taron notices the emotion welling up in her face and wraps his arms around her waist.  
“Come on let’s check the rest of it out” he breathes, leading her to the kitchen. It was perfect for entertaining, easy access to the garden and a corner booth, similar to the one Guy and Tina has. This was something Eryn had insisted on, loving the look. Taron too found it a welcome addition, reminding him of all the family events that had occurred around his Mam’s.  
Back down the hallway that ran down the centre of the house, the right-hand side were a utility room, downstairs bathroom and an office for Taron. He was impressed by the office, with its hidden studio room, that was even better than the one in London, in fact Eryn lost Taron in the office for some time as she wandered up the stairs and onto the main landing. The large landing window looking out across Aberystwyth’s stunning coastline. She could see Taron’s Mam’s house down the road, the rooves of many other houses and finally at the horizon the black and powerful waves of the Irish sea.  
She sighed contentedly as she took it all in, smiling. Her hand resting on her stomach without think, she stroked it. “Wow, I forgot about the view from up here” Taron commented, breaking Eryn from her daydream. Seeing her reaction, his eyes flicked down to her hand and he kissed her cheek, moving behind her and placing his hand on top of hers, his head on her shoulder. “What are thinking about?” he asked softly. She leant back into him “I am home, Taron” she breathed.  
He nodded and smiled, stroking her hand, he didn’t need to say anything Eryn knew all he wanted to say, and he knew her thoughts as if they were laid out loud. “Hey, have you checked out our room yet? He asked cheekily. “Come on” he said taking her hand and led her to the right and into the master bedroom. It was as she imagined, beautiful and cosy. The large metal frame bed she and Taro chose together took up the main part of the room. The softest carpet was laid, and the couple took off their shoes, before stepping on it. Taron landed on the bed, launching himself backward onto it “ahhhhhh” he groaned dreamily.  
Eryn shook her head, smiling she turned to the ensuite and a sizzle of excitement ran through her as she saw the walk-in wardrobe / dressing room. A little luxury she had allowed Taron to add. All their things that had been left in the Aber apartment had been cleaned, pressed and were now laid out perfectly. She sat on the soft, circular seat in the middle.  
Feeling like it was all a dream. She heard Taron call her, walking into the bathroom she saw Taron laid in the empty tub, a larger than average bath with jacuzzi jets. This was Taron’s specific choice, perfect for indulging after a hard workday. The rest of the bathroom was made up of a separate glass shower section, with numerous jets, a double sink and huge mirror above it. Eryn sat on the toilet as Taron pulled himself out of the bathtub.  
“There is one more room, I want to show you” he said taking her hand, He took her to the second of the four bedrooms. She thought that all the other bedrooms were set up for guests. But as Taron opened the door to the room adjacent to their own, her hand covered her mouth as tears ran down her cheeks, she squeezed Taron’s hand, feeling her legs going to jelly. He had to hold her up.  
“Oh god Eryn, are you ok? He asked surprised by her reaction. She nodded as she found her feet. She walked into the nursery. She couldn’t help her hands from shaking as she took it all in, it was perfect. Like she had walked into a Grimm brothers fairy tale fantasy. She walked to the crib and took in it’s rustic quality. She just kept shaking her head, unable to speak. She sat on the rocking chair her head in her hands and tears just flowing. Taron crouched in front of her “Is it too much? Too soon? He asked stroking her hair.  
“No, it’s just so perfect” She sobbed. He pulled her to standing and held her, rocking her gently “I know it’d getting to you, but it will happen sweetheart, one day not long off that crib will no longer be empty and you will be screaming at me at 3am asking why we wanted this” he smiled. Making her chuckle “You’re a twat, Welsh Boi, How do you always know what to say to me? She took the nursery I again over his shoulder, looking at the crib, she smiled as she imagined a blond, blue-green eyed baby kicking its chubby legs in the air.  
“Come on then Welsh Boi” she whispered into his ear, “Let’s go Christian that new kingside bed and fill that crib? She smiled.  
\-----  
Unbeknownst to Eryn, after counting the months off on the calendar, Taron had made a decision to get himself checked out, as he lay with Eryn sleeping in his arms a smile of post coital bliss on her face. He thought about what the results of his fertility tests might say. He text Bleddyn, He and Bleddyn were such old friends he knew he was someone he could trust with this information and the pair being on a similar wavelength, meant he could be sure of getting good advice.  
<<<<< “What do I do if it says it’s me that’s the problem? >>>>> Taron wrote  
<<<<< “Then won’t they tell you your options? Plus, mate, what’s the point in getting ahead of yourself? >>>> came the reply  
<<<<< “Yeah, I know it’s just that I feel like I should have done this before she had that bloody operation, what if she did it all for nothing, fuck!” >>>> He sighed audibly, as Eryn moved in her sleep.  
<<<<< “Listen mate, you can’t change any of that can you? >>>>> Bleddyn tried to help Taron to see that he was wasting energy, but he knew his friend too well. Overthinking, over analysing and anxiety being something Bleddyn also struggled with.  
<<<<< “Put it out of your mind, go have lots of fucking sex with your stunning fiancé and wait and see, I’m going to bed, but we can go for a pint tomorrow if you want” >>>>>> Bleddyn sent.  
<<<<< “Sounds good! The pint I mean. Well both … Night mate. >>>>> Taron responded.  
Taron put the phone on the side and wriggled down the bed. Eryn moved instinctively into him and her hand laid on his chest. He ran his finger over her hand, tracing it around her engagement ring and smiled. He thought about her reaction to the nursery and was pleased she had loved what he had done. But he couldn’t help wondering, if he was tempting fate. What if the room never got used, the crib stayed empty. Had he just created a memorial to a dead dream.  
He tried to shake the thoughts and gazed out of the window, Eryn had left the curtains open so she could look at the view, the window was slightly ajar. Although the waves could be heard with them shut, they were louder now. Taron closed his eyes, the familiar lullaby of the ocean sending him to sleep.  
Next morning, Eryn woke smiling. She looked around her new bedroom and her smile widened as she remembered where she was, rolling over. She disappeared beneath the cover. Running her fingers over Taron’s stomach, exposed in his sleep, his pyjama top having ridden up. She kissed her favourite bit and let her fingers to nimbly, slip under his waistband. She delicately tugged his pyjama bottoms down until she had full access to his semi erect penis, running her hand lightly over it. It soon hardened, and a light groan escaped Taron’s lips. As she increased the pressure with her hands. Taron turned onto his back, stretching out, as Eryn used her tongue to tease the end of his dick, he smiled sleepily. Eryn continued to do what she knew pushed Taron’s erotic buttons. As his groans increased, she felt his pelvis moving with her.  
Stopping in time, she crawled up his body, leaving kisses as she went. As she reached his face, her hand held him firmly as she pressed him into her. She closed her eyes and dropped her head, their lips meeting and caressing each other. As Taron moved his pelvis again, this time with more purpose. His kiss becoming more passionate and urgent. As Eryn rotated her hips and leant back. Taron held her waist directing her movements util he saw the familiar look on her face, he knew she was close, but he needed a little longer. Slowing his movement slightly, his lips moved to her neck and he began to devour her leaving bite marks in her hairline.  
It was then he felt it too, increasing his speed now, she whimpered, biting her lip and letting her head drop back, she felt him twitch inside her and clenched her Kegel muscles as she felt him release. She sped her movements a little, knowing he was out of energy and felt her own orgasm hit her. He took her head firmly with his hand and kissed her as she came. Increasing the sensations. She panted heavily as she lifted her head and grinned at Taron.  
“Good Morning” he panted beaming, she chuckled as she lifted herself off him and dropped onto the bed next to him. Rolling over to her he gazed lovingly at her and she stroked his face. “That’s some kind of alarm, I could get used to” he smirked. Making her smile softly. “I get it now baby” Taron told her softly “Why you want to stay here, I mean. You’ve been here less than 24 hours and I don’t think I’ve seen you happier or lighter” he said running his finger down her nose, making her wiggle it. “I’m home” she shrugged “My home” he scowled pretending to be territorial. “But I guess I will share it” he added. When he saw her pout.  
“What are we up to today? Anything on the agenda?” she asked stretching “I said I’d pop to the pub with Bled, Later and of course Mam and the girls will most likely drop by. But no plans, no surprises this week. Just you and me and whatever feels good, ok? He asked She kissed him gently. “Then we can stay here, and you can make love to me all day? She asked mischievously. “Definitely that, most, most definitely”  
They did exactly that, but at 14:30pm Taron decided it best to get a shower and get dressed, expecting the girls to come round on their way home from school. Eryn was sleeping as he finished and pulled on some shorts and a t-shirt. He stroked her face, “Time to face the world sleepy” Taron said softly as she opened her eyes. “I expect the girl’s will be around in about half hour” he told her as a grin spread across her face and she stretched. “Shall I be making tea? He said and she nodded giggling at the welsh slang already slipping back in. She pushed her duvet off and wandered into the bathroom. She showered and dressed, sat in her walk-in wardrobe she smiled. “Surely they had done enough today alone, to finally conceive” she thought laughing. As she pulled on her trainers and tied up her hair. She applied a slick of mascara and lip gloss. Just as she heard the squeals downstairs.  
She was at the top of the stairs as the girls ran up and hugged her, “Hello you two, how was school? Eryn asked as she guided them back downstairs and into the kitchen, where Taron and Tina were hugging. Tina breaking away to hug Eryn as Taron handed the girls a glass of juice each and opened the back doors, so they could sit in the garden.  
“Tina, you have done an outstanding job, We don’t have to do anything” Eryn enthused. “Taron hugged his Mam again and kissed her on the cheek “Yes!” he said “Mam this is amazing thank you and tell guy too” he said as he was yanked away by Mari. Tina and Eryn sat on the sofa and watched Taron and girls as they showed him all the little touches they had helped with. “You look tired the pair of you” Tina said concerned “How are things? She asked sipping her tea. “Depends what you’re talking about Mam” Eryn said.  
“Mostly we are good, Taron’s struggling with me wanting to stay here though and well we are not pregnant yet, so that’s adding to the frustration. We, well I thought I would be by now, so it’s not great that we are going to be unable to ‘try’ for a while” she said reddening a little, it wasn’t easy to talk to Taron’s Mam about their sex life.  
“It took me a while to fall for Rosie, Eryn. Don’t lose hope. It will happen. Maybe it’s waiting to be legitimate” she said cocking her eyebrow in the same way Taron loved to do. Eryn laughed lightly “Well then if that’s the case, at least I won’t ned to let out my dress” Eryn smiled “Oh yes, Eryn I saw the images you sent, it’s beautiful, you look just stunning” Tina’s compliment made Eryn blush. “and I am glad that you got the planner involved too, it all seems to be coming together, what is it now 3 months? Tina asked, knowing full well how long. It was clear that Tina was as excited as Eryn and Taron.  
“Phew 5 minutes please” Taron groaned landing next to Eryn, red and sweaty. “I’m getting old Mam, can’t keep up” he moaned. “No, you’re just out of shape, all that help you get in that London” she told him. As he gulped his Tea. Both Eryn and Tina scowled at him. Laughing when they realised that they had both done so at exactly the same time. Taron put his hands in the air “Jesus, two at once” he complained and slunk off to re-join the girls.  
“Well now you’re back we can get down to proper wedding business” Tina told Eryn she smiled, It meant so much to have Tina as her mother in law, she was so kind and free with her time and attention. “Well, this week I’m off duty, but next week once Taron’s gone off on his promo tour, I am all yours” she smiled. “Perfect, “It’s all the small bits really left, party favours and all that. Then of course the invites are ordered once they come, we have to get them sent out” Tina said “Sorry, it’s all going around my brain, I promise I will not talk wedding anymore until your back ‘on duty’ she laughed.  
Once Tina and the girls, had said goodbye. Taron took the opportunity to head off to the pub to meet Bleddyn and the boys. Eryn opted for an early night claiming to have been exhausted by all the activity of the day. As Taron walked down the road, Eryn noticed the mail and taking it with her into the kitchen, she noticed one for Taron. The stamped address titled Randolph Fertility Services. She ran her finger over the words, frowning.  
Turning on the kettle, she steamed the envelope open.


	71. Chapter 71

Chapter 71  
Eryn read the letter and placed it on the counter, She took a picture of it and sent it to Taron. Pouring the boiling water into the brand-new quirky teapot, Tina and Guy had bought them as a house warming gift. She put them on a tray with the matching mugs, sugar bowl and milk jug looking at it, she felt like the perfect Welsh housewife, all that was missing was the Welsh cakes and a couple of kids running around her feet. She took the tray into the Garden and sat looking at her stunning new garden, lit perfectly Guy having done a fantastic job of fixing all the bulbs around the place. She heard the front door and heard his feet on the kitchen floor.  
“Just sit down Welsh Boi, you’re not in trouble, though I thought you said no surprises this week” Eryn said as she calmly sipped her drink.  
Taron sat and put his phone down on the coffee table, filling a mug for himself “So, did you cut the result off deliberately then, to get me home? He said a little tersely. “I mean I gave my pint to Bled, But babe I barely got through the door” he sighed “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your boys night” Eryn sneered slightly. “That’s not what this was Eryn, But still are you going to put me out of my misery? “The results say… well of course they say that you are perfect, fertile as fuck, it is all ... me” she said swallowing hard, but the tears fell anyway.  
Taron ran his hands though his hair, relieved. Then he saw Ern’s tears. “Babe” he said moving quickly and sitting next to her, he tried to hug her, but she was still and firm. “Eryn?” he asked softly “This is why I didn’t tell you; this is why bled and I were meeting up tonight” he told her. She stool and walked around the table “Great, well now you know you can go get a pat on the back and raise a toast to your manhood” she huffed. Walking inside and straight up the stairs. When she reached their room, she slammed the door. Hearing the front door slam shortly after, she crawled into bed and sobbed into the pillow.  
When Taron came in it was less than an hour later, unable to leave her alone. He found himself drawn home. Shutting the door quietly, as all the lights were out, he expected to find Eryn in bed, he sat on the end of the bed and saw a gleam of light coming from the nursery. He felt gutted as he understood now where she was, he hadn’t even thought about how this would separate them further. Her words ringing in his ears. He stood and slowly walked to the nursery door and opened it.  
His heart ached as he saw Eryn curled up on the floor next to the crib, one arm was laying inside the bars, the other was curled up her thumb in her mouth and index finger on her nose. She was asleep, her eyes black with streaks of mascara. Taron gently took her hand and lifted it free of the bars. Scooping her up, she groaned, her eyes flickering open. “I’m sorry” she murmured as he carried her and laid her gently on their bed “I’m sorry, you don’t have to be” he told her as he pulled the cover up over her.  
He pulled off his clothes, throwing them at the laundry basket, He climbed straight into bed and over to Eryn. “I wish it was me Eryn, I wish I could take it all on me and away from you” he told her laying his head on her stomach. Eryn stroked his hair “I shouldn’t have said any of what I did babe, I was jealous” she told him. “It’s good that your results are good, we should have done it earlier. But you should have told me” she added. “I know, I am slow on the uptake” Eryn kissed his head.  
“Taron, what if it doesn’t happen? Eryn said not believing that she had finally said what had been running round her head “I think we need to think about how long we are going to wait before we think about other options? She told him. Taron stared straight ahead; he closed his eyes. Kissing her stomach, he rolled back and moved up the bed to look at her directly. “I don’t even want to think about it” he said his voice broke as he told her, looking sadly at her. “But I have done” he admitted, his eyes dropping. The couple pressed their foreheads together as they allowed each other to cry and understand what they were going to do next  
\----  
“Bloody Hell Eryn, where the hell have you moved to? The end of the bloody earth? All I see are fields, hills and fucking sheep” Henny laughed as she left the voicemail on her hands free “I can’t read the bloody signs, have the Welsh heard of vowels?” she added “ See you in about half an hour” she ended the call. Taron laughed as he re-played the message as Eryn made sure that the guest room was all set up.  
Eryn was glad Henny was coming down, the week went so quick and Taron leaving the next day was weighing on both Eryn and Taron. “The place is fine” Taron told Eryn grabbing her around the waist as she rushed around. “I know, it stops me thinking though” she whined. Taron looked at Eryn stroking her cheek “I will be back before you know it and when I am back, we are going full pelt into Wedding fever, just focus on that baby, that’s what I’m going to do” he said trying to make it sound easy, but deep down he knew he was going to struggle as much as she was.  
“I feel so conflicted, I want to stay here but I don’t want you to go, or I want to come with you. Why is it so hard? She pouted. He kissed her pout “I know, I do” he said. Taron pulled her into a big hug and stood rocking her back and forth. When she squealed into his ear “Fuck” he cried “She’s here” Eryn declared as if that were a good enough excuse, for deafening him. He watched her run out to greet Henny as she pulled up in her red VW Beetle.  
Taron came out to greet Henny as she let go of Eryn, he hugged Henny. As they broke apart, he went and collected her bags, whilst Henny linked arms with Eryn and they went inside. Taron taking the bags straight up to her room as Eryn showed her around. It wasn’t long before they three of them were sat around the table in the garden, chatting and eating marks and spencer nibbles and drinking cold beers.  
As darkness fell, the warm and happily, drunken group moved in front of the fire. Eryn and Taron, curling up together on the sofa as Henny wrapped herself in the throw and took the armchair. “So, You have you both decided what you’re gonna do about this baby shit then” Henny chanced. “Because my offer still stands” she added. Taron and Eryn looked sadly at each other Taron confused “offer?” he asked looking at both women. “Yeah, I told Eryn in NY, That I have a womb for rent if you guys needed one, I was serious” she told them, her face becoming straight.  
This made Eryn nervous, knowing it meant that she really was offering this as a solution. “Taron shook his head, looking at both women again, You mean like a surrogate? He asked “Yes, dummy a surrogate, She has those frozen eggs just sat there, why not? Henny told them. Taron moved and put his head in his hands “I think I’ve had too much to drink, I’m going to go up” he said doing just that.  
“What’s his problem? Henny asked “Hen, I think you offering to carry our baby has blown his mind, especially when you word it like you did” Eryn said, getting up to follow him. Henny took her wrist “I saw the Nursery, Eryn. Don’t be a dick and let me fucking do this, please” she said tears inn her eyes. Eryn turned back to Henny and fell into her friends arms, tears pouring from both of them. “If it were just down to me, Hen I would say yes right here and right now” she told her. “But I know you better than he does, let me talk to him. You will have to quit the beer though” Eryn told her as they broke apart and she headed up to find Taron.  
When she walked into the bedroom, Taron was brushing his teeth and pacing. He was talking to nobody, bits of toothpaste flying from his mouth as he spoke “Who the fuck does that Eryn? Who just offers their fucking womb to someone, out of nowhere? He spat into the sink and wiped his mouth. Eryn took hold of his arms and held him still “It’s not out of nowhere, like she said she offered in New York, but it was like a passing remark, I never thought she was serious” Eryn told him. “So, you’ve thought about it? You would go for it?” he asked still bobbing on his toes a little amped up still. “I would trust Henny with my life, I couldn’t think of anyone better, we said last night we would be open to all options” She said tentatively.  
“I didn’t think knocking up your best friend would be one of them? He said looking at the floor. Eryn couldn’t help but laugh, breaking the tension Taron laughed as well and pulled Eryn closer “Fuck” he breathed as his held her. “You don’t actually have to do that part, like she said I have those frozen eggs, they are already fertilised and ready to go, she would just have them, well erm implanted” Eryn told him. He kissed Eryn on the cheek and looked at her “I need to get my head around this, yesterday we were still trying to knock you up, now it’s Henny and omg my brain is fried, I’m flying out to Korea tomorrow night! He groaned.  
“No one expects you to make a decision tonight, I mean I’m not saying, yes, myself yet, I think I am. But like you said, mind” ‘pow’ she gestured. I’m getting a shower, I will think it over” he smiled, kissing her cheek again. Eryn smiled too and went to show Henny her room and tell her what Taron had said. When she went back to the bedroom, Taron was shutting the nursery door. He took Eryn’s hand and led her to the bedroom. Shutting the door, he got into bed. And patted the side next to him. Eryn got changed and climbed in next to him.  
His hair was still wet, and she ran her hands through is pushing it back out of his face, “you okay” Eryn asked. “Yeah” he said sadly, he shook his hair and wet Eryn, who groaned and ran her hands again through it tidying it, Shaking her head before he tried to repeat his trick. “Don’t want to go” he pouted “Yeah, you do, if only for all the good Korean chicken” she smiled “Gah, it is good” he admitted. But his puppy dog eyes remained “Stop, I want you to stay too, so you’re preaching to the converted” he chuckled “oh yeah” he kissed her lightly as she laid a towel on his pillow, he had a habit of doing this, coming to bed with wet hair and wetting the pillows.  
“Are we going to talk about it or pretend all night? Eryn asked “Pretend” Taron joked “ He looked at Eryn and nodded “Ok, so now I have had a little time to process, it’s something that I need more time with” he told her “I think Henny just wants us to consider it” Eryn answered. “There are so many things to think about though, Like how are you going to be seeing her have our baby? Getting all the attention and doing all the stuff you thought you’d get to do? what about if it affects your friendship? What if Henny decides she can’t give the baby up? I mean that’s just a few” He sighed.  
“Ok, so is that a maybe?” Eryn grinned “It’s a let’s look into it” he smiled as he saw her excitement. “But meanwhile, I am still going to be making a decent effort to get you pregnant” he told her, looking at deeply into her eyes, I’m not giving up on this just yet” he kissed her as she hugged him.


	72. Chapter 72

Chapter 72  
Eryn sat slumped in Taron’s office, in his leather chair. She hugged Charlie Bear and was wearing his fleece. “He’s not fucking dead woman” Henny complained as she munched on toast. “Come on Babs, Let’s go and see this awesome Wedding venue of yours and maybe we can pop in on the in laws and get distracted with wedding stuff. It would be nice for Taron to come back and most of it be done wouldn’t it, take the pressure off. He might make that other decision easier then” she grabbed Charlie and put him on a shelf “Up” she declared and sent Eryn to shower and dress.  
The women linked arms as they walked and chatted “Did I blow it last night Babs? Henny asked Eryn, who chuckled “Well with a few Beers in you, you are wonderfully more direct than usual, but no, once the shock wore off, he did say he’d consider it. He’s a bit worried about things” she told her “Things? What things? Henny asked. “Lots of stuff, you know he’s an over thinker” she added. “Well, at least he’s thinking about it, that’s not a no” she grinned.  
They stopped not long after beginning the walk. Henny was impressed as she was taken through a short path and down to the clearing. “Oh yes” she grinned as Eryn stood and took it all in again “Jesus, Eryn” Henny cried as she saw Eryn drop to the floor. Running over she recognised the panic attack immediately Henny sat Eryn up and rubbed her back alternating between circles and patting, singing “Hush a by mountain” as she did so.  
As Eryn’s eyes opened, she hugged Henny. “Still getting those fuckers then. Henny asked as Eryn nodded. “What was it that trigger that one? Henny asked “ Everything Hen” she said as they sat crossed legged on the grass “ Look at my life Hen, It’s unrecognisable, I’m getting married to a fucking famous actor, when that happens I will own two bloody expensive homes and my bodies fucked, It’s a fair bit to take in, especially considering where I was before I met Taron” she sighed and pulled at the grass. “Hey, You are getting your just desserts, well apart from the baby bit, I’ve not worked out what mother nature’s up to on that one, but I reckon the rest is all payback for the shit before” She rubbed Eryn’s knee as she began to try and make daisy chains, “Hey do you remember when they cut the grass on the field at school? It would be left, and we would all make massive mounds of the stuff” She laughed ““Yeah and the boys would try and put lumps of it down our backs, Jamie Callus, succeeded one year, I was fucking itchy all day” Eryn smiled.  
“I did love that smell though and we knew it meant we could eat lunch on the grass now” she smiled remembering. “Taron isn’t a famous movie star Eryn, he’s just Taron. So, cross that off, the wedding thing is meant to be fun Babs so what’s the deal? And well it’s good to have a decent portfolio of real estate as investment, so they say” she chuckled. Eryn threw her handful of grass at Henny “What was that load of crap” she chuckled “It’s just never going to be how I imagined Hen, I just don’t have the kind of family that can make it happen” she sighed “So fuck that, get what you can from the dream and fuck them” She sighed putting the finished daisy chain on Eryn’s head.  
“Bab’s this is your chance to be demanding and selfish, to ask for anything you fucking want. You deserve that for once.” She smiled getting up and curtseyed to Eryn “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the bride” she called out pulling Eryn to her feet. They skipped in a circle until they were out of breath. “Come on take me to this cabin place, I want pancakes, I’m starved and from now on promise me, only sunshine and rainbows about this wedding, yeah? She grinned.  
Eryn hugged Henny tight, “I love you; you know that don’t you? Eryn told her and squeezed her tight as Henny squeezed back.  
The girls were finishing their pancakes when Tina and the girl appeared. Seeing Eryn, the girls came straight over to the table. “Hey girl’s this is my best friend Henny” Eryn said and both girls said a shy hello as Tina came over and told the girls to take the table opposite Eryn and Henny. Eryn introduced Tina and Henny.  
“So, girlies you know I’m maid of honour” Henny told Mari and Rosie with a grand voice “So, That means I will be looking out for you guys and the other bridesmaids at the wedding, so if you are worried or need anything during the day, you grab me and say Hen, I need a wee! And I will sort you out ok? She winked at them and they giggled. “I am actually glad to catch you two, I have the invitations and a few other bits that needing checking over that Jill sent down. She’s very organised, brilliantly so, I am not so much” said Tina.  
“ That’s what I’m here for Tina, we were actually planning on coming round after this” Henny answered “Oh great, we can all walk back together” Tina smiled “We need to keep this one’s spirit’s up, she’s all blue with Taron going off on his Travels today” Henny groaned Tina looked sympathetically at Eryn and stroked her hand. The girls when they had finished grabbed their scooters which they’d brought along and scooted off ahead as the three women chatted along the journey. Mostly, the talk was about Henny and Eryn filling Tina in about their shared history right up to her current situation.  
It was as they were heading into Tina’s house that Henny did it again “So, yeah I think I freaked Taron out, I mean we have been friends forever so offering to be a surrogate was a no-brainer. But I guess it was a shock for him to hear out of the blue” she said as Tina stopped “Henny, let me make a Brew and you can run that by me again” Tina said looking shocked and confused. “Sure, I’ll go play with the girls” Henny said and disappeared into the garden. Eryn smiled softly “She’s a bit of a whirlwind, especially when she’s nervous and meeting new people, believe it or not” Eryn told her.” I think she’s wonderful, she doesn’t mess about, straight on the line, but yes it can be a bit of a shocker, Did I hear her right? You and Taron are considering to have her be a surrogate, has it really got to that point? She said sadly pouring in the hot water in the pot and carrying the tray into the lounge.  
Eryn laughed a little “I think Taron’s chin hit the floor, when she blurted it out. But Hen and I had talked about it sort of while I was staying with her, but not seriously” Eryn sipped her tea as Tina listened “It’s just something we are looking into, It just doesn’t seem to be happening for us otherwise” Tina leaned over and squeezed her hand “You know I went through similar before I had Rosie, I did look at IVF and all that stuff, but we couldn’t really afford it, it was something Guy and I had to try an accept might not happen, he has kids from his first relationship and I had Taron, so we thought maybe we were asking too much, then just when we stopped ‘trying’ Rosie appeared” she smiled “and Mari two years later”  
“Maybe, when all the wedding nonsense is done with and everything settles down a bit, it might just happen” she suggested “Tina, we aren’t giving up, just seeing what options are out there, Henny just wants to help and there are a lot of pluses in her case, I mean we know her intimately, she has ever wanted children so she’s not going to change her mind on us, not that we would pay anyway but she wouldn’t be doing it for that reason, she will still be in the babies life after” Eryn finished her drink and poured another. “Sounds like you have already made the decision, what if Taron’s against the idea?” Tina asked “Then we would discuss it and if it’s a no, we look at our options again” she said.  
“I can see the pro’s and con’s Eryn, bloody mother nature eh, well it goes without saying, but whatever you both decide, Guy and I will support you and if you need me Eryn I’m just down the road” she added finishing her own and going to call Henny and the girls in.  
As they barrelled in, Tina brough a box in and handed Eryn the invitation she and Taron and chosen. As she read it, she smiled, and tears welled in her eyes “Makes it feel real doesn’t it? Tina said, “Is that for the Wedding?” Rosie asked and Eryn handed it to her “Oooh I like the cut outs” she said showing Mari who read it out loud. “So, we shall go ahead and send them out” Tina smiled as Eryn nodded, smiling through her emotion as Henny gave her a sideways hug.  
“oh, Mummy can we get the dresses, please?” Mari begged “yes go on” Tina said as both girls clattered up the stairs “Their dresses came this morning and they have been dying to show you” Tina explained “Do we put them on Mam? Shouted Rosie “no” Tina called back as a groan came from upstairs. The girls returned with two dresses each. Henny got up and knelt opposite Eryn with a girl on each side. “So, this is for the day? She asked holding up the green tuille dress with matching wings against Mari and Rosie held hers up. Eryn looked at Tina and Henny “Tina I think we do need to see if they fit? She winked at the girls.  
“You heard the bride, go on girls put the day one on” Tina said. The girls didn’t need to be told twice, they were so excited, and Eryn and Henny helped with holding them open for the girls to step in and zipped them up, adding their wings. They looked perfect and Eryn had to shake herself again “You need to keep some tears for the actual day Ren” Henny scolded “I know, sorry” she replied. When the girls tried the white ones on, the women clapped and cheered.  
It was a great evening as more things were finalised and things seemed almost ready to just get going. Guy wasn’t impressed arriving home to a house of women and wedding frenzy but was soon roped in to help with the practical arrangements for equipment. He tried and failed to convince the women that Eryn didn’t need her horse and cart for the short journey from the house to the venue. He was also tight lipped about the evening entertainment, something that Taron and Eryn had not discussed, Eryn being surprised to hear that Guy and Taron had been having a number of pall walls about it.  
All the decorations were chosen, and Jill was in charge of organising it all, as well as staffing and security. Tina was quick to keep telling Eryn how hard it would all have been without her. But Eryn also knew the hard work Tina and Taron’s Aunt Eve had been doing. As she wandered up the road with Henny having said goodnight to Tina. She realised that she hadn’t checked her phone all day. “Thanks Hen” she said softly as they walked through the gate and up the driveway “I actually forgot all about missing T” she admitted.  
“Terrible fiancé, you are appalling” Henny laughed. Eryn let them both in and they headed to their respective rooms, hugging goodnight on the landing. Eryn got ready for bed and settled in the middle of the bed, opening the phone she saw 3 missed calls and a number of texts. She dialled his number, but it went to voicemail. He was likely asleep on the plane, she thought as she opened the texts. The first was just a checking in, at the airport lounge etc, the second though read  
<<<<<< So, babe something happened… >>>>>10:35 pm,  
Eryn checked the time, 11:00pm, The second text was a picture, of Taron his left arm being bandaged and placed in a sling. The caption simply read “oops”  
Eryn dialled his number again, there was still no answer. Eryn pushed back the cover and sat on the edge, turning on the light and she tapped out a text telling him to call her and quit with all the texts. As she stood, she felt it, the familiar gush. “Fuck” she grunted as she saw a dribble of blood trickle down her leg. She went into the bathroom and cleaned herself up. Wandering downstairs, unable to sleep, she drew the red circle on the calendar.  
It was then she heard the front door, turning and walking to the hall. She saw Taron, he thanked the driver for bringing his cases in and smiled guiltily. A very obvious plaster cast on his right arm.  
“No, I understand Matthew, Thank you, of course I will. Yeah” Eryn heard Taron on the phone to Matthew Vaughn, despite the late hour, Matthew wanted to check Taron was okay and go through what would happen next. Ending the call, he turned to Eryn, “So” he said as he moved closer “What the fuck Welsh Boi? She looked concerned “It’s fine just a broken elbow” he said “But it could have been a knife, a gun, damn T, look at Lennon” Eryn looked at Taron earnestly. But Taron couldn’t help laughing a little “I don’t think I’m quite John Lennon darling” he said trying to ease her fears “It was just a bit of over zealousness, crowded airport and my clumsiness” he told her, using his free hand to pull her closer.  
She resisted, feeling that he was making light of a situation that could have been a lot worse. “Listen, I’m sorry. I know I scared you. But Lindy is on it, she is fuming” he told her. “Hey, I thought you’d be happy, to see me” he pouted. “I am” she shrugged and let him pull her, he pecked his nose. Making him smile.  
“Come on, it’s late let’s get to bed” he said and walked up the stairs. Eryn glanced at the Calendar and followed him up. As she closed the bedroom door, Taron was in the bathroom and noticed the soiled nightwear Eryn had discarded in the wash. He sighed as he washed his hands, he shook his head at his reflection in the mirror and went into the bedroom. The couple were soon settled, Taron stroking Eryn’s hair just the way she liked. “I did get a chance to think, maybe we should seriously consider Henny’s offer” he said softly. Eryn raised her head “Ok, that was a quick turnaround” Eryn replied suspicious “I saw your pyjamers” he told her “How are you feeling? He asked “Sore as always, gutted as always, Glad you’re here, but not why” she said glaring at his arm “But, what about my bloody PJ’s made you think about Henny’s offer? She asked “Just that another month’s passed and maybe I need to stop daydreaming and be real about this, I want it so fucking much Eryn, and I know you’re going to say it’s just for you, but it’s not. I wanted you to have our baby, I wanted all of it, feeling it kick in your belly, the scans, the milestones, talking and singing to him or her, I wanted all that with you, not Henny or anyone else” he said his voice tinged with bitterness. Eryn squeezed him as best she could without catching his arm “Oh Taron, Jesus Christ it fucking stinks” she whimpered “I am so glad you told me, I didn’t know. I’m sorry, I couldn’t… can’t” she broke off tears taking her words as Taron held her head and soothed her “ssh baby, I know” he cooed.  
“Right” Henny shouted opening the bedroom door with more force than she meant to, she sat at the end of the bed “I can’t do this you two, I can’t hear you both in so much fucking pain and struggling. I love you. Not just Eryn Taron, I love you too, you are my sisters man, Please let me do this for you? Please” Henny burst into tears as Eryn crawled over and hugged her, Taron too moved to the end of the bed. “Henny, I’m not saying no, but we need to make sure we are all going into this with our eyes open, yeah? Taron told her. Seeing her like this was new for Taron, Eryn had told her about all of Henny’s facets, but he had yet to see her vulnerable side and he could see where she was coming from was genuine.  
“I’m sorry T, I just, I can help, I want to help, please. Eryn means so much to me, when I say she’s my sister I mean that. I have a biological sister who isn’t as close to me as Eryn. Eryn laid her head on Henny’s shoulder. “and your walls are too fucking thin, I can hear everything in there” she complained. Getting up, she sighed “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have barged in, But Taron, please understand I am serious about this, I will do everything you need me to do, vitamins, classes, whatever you guys would do if I were Eryn and I will share it all with you. This is your baby; I am just the oven” she blew them a kiss and shut the door as she left. Eryn and Taron climbed back into bed “Well, I can’t say no, now can I? Taron huffed Eryn turned to face him “Is that a yes? She said looking shocked. He smiled nodding “YES” shouted Henny as the door slammed open again and Henny jumped on the bed “Fucking Hell yes” she shouted “Don’t worry the baby will have your genetics, so all this not going to get passed on” Henny said looking at Taron’s face and laughing.


	73. Chapter 73

Chapter 73  
Taron slept terribly that night, the cast kept getting in the way and he found it hard to get comfortable as a result Eryn was also kept awake. “Jesus Taron, will you stay still, you’re bouncing me all over the place” she moaned. “It’s this fucking thing, It’s in the way” he grumbled. “and it hurts” he griped. Eryn sat up, “Okay get into a position you feel most comfortable” she said. He moved around and found the best position, Eryn then began to tuck pillows around him, supporting his elbow. She wrapped a blanket around him and pulled the duvet up “Any good?” she asked. Taron looked like he had been tucked in by his Mam “Much, sorry babe” he mumbled softly, his eyes heavy. She kissed him and snuggled in next to him “Just sleep now” she said softly closing her eyes “Thanks Mam” Taron cheeked.  
When he woke, he heard Henny and Eryn in the garden and headed downstairs. Grabbing a coffee, he joined them. Closing his eye’s, he absorbed the morning sun. “Morning grumpy” Henny said “Morning, still sleeping” he mumbled. “Taron’s brain takes time to create words before coffee” Eryn remarked. Too tired to create a witty comeback, Taron simply nodded. “So, he won’t be interested in reading this stuff we printed off from the surrogacy society then” Henny said as she helped herself to the danish pastries Eryn had bought and was also enjoying.  
Taron turned around and took the papers, Eryn handing him his glasses that had been left on the garden table. It outlined the process and Taron was pleased to see it was set out simply. Giving a really good idea of the process and answering most of his questions and worries. “So, we are really doing this?” He asked. Both women looked at him a little concerned that he has changed his mind, his smile was a relieving sight. Both Henny and Eryn got up and hugged Taron, covering him in kisses “oi, ow, ow, get off, ok, ok” he protested.  
Henny had already been through the IVF process with her ex-wife and had sent an email off to them that morning, Eryn too had contacted the company storing her eggs to inform them of their plans. Henny would be sent the necessary injections she needed to take to prepare, then in 8 weeks, she would travel to London for implantation. It was that simple. Taking her coffee with her Henny made herself scarce as she saw the couple could do with time alone.  
Taron moved into Henny’s spot on the sofa next to Eryn, putting his good arm around her, he looked into her eyes “how are you feeling? He asked “nervacited” she smiled. Taron chuckled “You? She asked “Fucking petrified” he sighed heavily. “But yeah excited too” he said kissing her “Why scared babe? she asked, knowing the answer “Of getting our hopes up, Henny makes it sound like a dead cert, but lets not get our hopes up, okay” he said. “Eryn stroked his face.  
“So, what happens with the promotion this time, are you going to be in the shit again? She asked changing the subject. “They’ve given me two weeks, then I’m back into it” he told her “So, I’ve only got you for two weeks” she pouted “Hey two more than you would have and I’ll be back before you know it” he grinned up at her, having settled himself on her lap. “Knock, knock” Tina called from the side gate “Thought you’d be out here, these two wanted to see you” she said as the girls came in and over to Taron and Eryn.  
“Does it hurt? Asked Rosie “Can we sign it? Mari chipped in. “This one’s temporary, when I get the proper one Mari you can design it how you want, but no glitter” he told her “It’s a bit sore sweet pea, but Eryn’s taking good care of me” he grinned. “Looks like it” Tina said gesturing to how he was laid on her. “Well, I have been told by Guy, to send you round as soon as your dressed, he needs you for sorting out the wedding music and something about the grooms outfits” she said.  
Taron rolled his eyes “Wedding stuff already, can’t it wait until after I get back, I am meant to be resting” he pretended to groan “Come on girls, school” Tina called “and you are organising entertainment not building a bloody wall Taron, get that lazy arse up and go get dressed” Tina scolded winking at Eryn as she left, directing the girls ahead of her.  
Taron groaned and snuggled into Eryn more, “Move it or lose it boy” they heard Tina shout. “Jesus woman” he complained and sat up “I’m going” he called back. Eryn laughed “she knows you far too well, for you to get away with that one” she kissed his cheek as he headed indoors “Not sure living so close was a good idea now” he whinged as he left.  
\-----  
Henny was keen to see her GP for a wellness check, before starting any injections and as the wedding arrangements were all pretty much under control too. She felt like a spare part. “You don’t have to go, just because he’s back” Eryn pouted gesturing to Taron “I know, but you two need to have a pow wow about all the surrogacy stuff, you have wedding stuff and all the other stuff of life. Plus, you can get in some more tries yourself in the meantime” she winked hugging her bestie. Taron reddened and rolled his eyes. Hugging Henny too Taron whispered “Thank you” into her ear, to which she smiled. “I will be back in a fortnight, Taron and I cannot both be here at the same time, we are like La Toya and Michael” she grinned as she shut her door.  
Eryn leant on Taron’s good shoulder as they waved the red Beetle off. “Come on then, we have our orders from Henny” he smiled mischievously. “Oh yeah, and what about this? Eryn replied lightly tapping his cast. “Well it’ll mix things up a bit won’t it, only having one hand” he smirked. “It’s your *ahem* dominant one though babe” she returned “I shall show you what I can do with one hand” he said leading the way upstairs.  
It soon became clear that what Taron could do with one hand was limited. As he tried to remove his clothes and soon became entangled in his pyjama top Eryn laughing hysterically as he rolled around fighting with the thing “Quit laughing and help me” he cried “I’m sorry babe” she said moving quickly to him and slowly, carefully removing to top. He sat and pouted grumpily, his hair a haystack, sticking out all over. “Trousers? Eryn asked and he nodded “and boxers please” he muttered.  
Pulling them off together, she gently pushed him back on the bed and sat over him. “Maybe I should take the lead this time” she said softly as his good hand lightly stroked her leg. He rolled his eyes playfully and smiled nodding. She took hold of his fingers, that were poking out of the cast and placed the index finger into her mouth, sucking it gently. As she looked seductively at him, he hummed sucking his bottom lip as she moved from finger to finger.  
Her other hand rested on his penis, making the slightest, gentle strokes to the head. He gasped as he began to notice it, as she increased the strength of her stroke. She dropped her head onto his stomach and began to leave small bites and kisses as her mouth met her hand and took over. Her hand holding the base firmly, as he hardened, in her mouth. She sucked rhythmically. Increasing and decreasing the hold around him, creating a pulsating sensation that had him closing his eyes.  
Removing her hand, she ran her nails up his stomach and chest to meet face to face. “This is frustrating as hell” he sighed “You still have one hand” she said cocking her eyebrow at him. He took her jaw in his hand and pulled himself up so their lips could meet, Eryn felt the warmth and familiar tingles as he caressed her lips with his, tilting her head and moving with him She ran her arm around the cast and held him steady. Pressing herself against his chest she whimpered as she felt him thrust himself into her. Closing her eyes, she bit her lip. His thighs strong enough, you rotate and plunge into her. Driving himself deeper and with direct pressure on her G-Spot she gripped his arm and with the other held the headboard firmly. Giving her enough stability to grind on him. His face screwed up at the new sensations this gave him, From the position he laid he had a great view of her breasts as they hit her rib cage from the movement back and forth. As she powered forward, he felt himself lose it and came hard, she continued the momentum and shortly after she fell onto him, shuddering through her own orgasm.  
“I think I like you being in charge” he grinned breathlessly. She kissed his neck “How’s the elbow? She asked “Elbow? What elbow?” he laughed turning slightly towards her as she began rearranging the pillows again for him “You really are going to be an incredible Mam, babe” he said softly as she snuggled into him, pulling the duvet over them both. “I’m not messing around Eryn” he said seriously, taking her face in his hand. “I look at how well you look after me and I just see it” he said kissing her.  
When Eryn woke next morning, Taron wasn’t in bed but clattering around downstairs. She stretched and decided to leave him to whatever he was up to, climbing into the shower. She let the warm spray wake her slowly as she rested her head on the tiles. Washing her hair and shaving, she felt better, more refreshed. As she got dressed, she heard the front door shut and peeking out of the window, saw Taron drive off in the van.  
Taking him to be in one of his moods, she shrugged it off and finished getting dressed, She had decided to wander down the road today and see Tina, maybe fill her in on the new news and help with the wedding stuff that she might be doing. She wandered downstairs, running her hand on the wooden panel door to the nursery, despite everything that she and Taron had said, she couldn’t help but think that now they had maybe two chances, two horses in the race. One might just come through for them.  
She had taken to resting her hand on her stomach absentmindedly, scolding herself when she noticed. She really wasn’t entirely sure how she would feel about carrying their baby, getting the bump and kicks. But she would deal with it if and when it happened.  
As he poured her coffee, she settled in the armchair and scrolled through her phone. Just then the front door opened. “Okay, this was meant to be a surprise but…” he broke off as the most adorable puppy ran into the lounge and jumped excitedly at Eryn. “What did you do?” she squealed picking up the pup as it hit her leg, its tail wagging wildly, it jumped and licked Eryn “Omg, you adorable little thing” she cried “Well thank you” Taron beamed “He? She? Eryn asked “He” he replied “and it’s…” she stopped Taron nodded.  
Eryn always dreamed as a kid of having a dog, but had been refused, she had never been in the right place as an adult to care for one and Taron knew she dreamed of owning a Blue Dappled Dachshund. Tears were streaming down her eyes as she grabbed Taron and hugged him “ow” he winced “Go easy” he added. “But, why now” she looked at him as she sat on the floor and began to fuss ad play with the little pup.  
“To see that look on your face, plus everyone in Aber has a dog, it’ll mean you fit in easier” he smiled stroking her hair as she played “What’s his name going to be? He asked “Oh easy, Draig” she said as he looked perplexed “Draig? She turned and nodded “Dragon” she smiled “yeah I got that much, but why Dragon? Or Draig “It was one of the first welsh words I learnt, he’s a welsh doggie and what’s a big symbol of Wales, I mean come on Welsh Boi” she laughed not taking her eyes of the pup. Taron sat on the floor next to her and kissed her cheek before joining in.  
“So, what was all that clattering this morning then? Eryn asked. “Oh, I was setting up a place for him, Guy dropped round some old puppy stuff he had” Eryn looked at him “Look at you Daddy, getting organised” she smiled and kissed him. “I’m going to need some new dreams soon, you keep making them all come true” she said swallowing down more happy tears as she gazed at him, they became lost for a while in each other, until Draig chose to wee on Taron’s foot “argh” he groaned, But Eryn couldn’t help but laugh “ Marking his territory Daddy” she told him. “I’ll get a cloth” 


	74. Chapter 74

Chapter 74  
Eryn sighed happily, Draig curled up on her lap. She sat going through the Wedding folder with Taron, Tina and Guy. It all looked good and she was starting to let herself believe it really was all going to happen. She couldn’t help but sit back and look at the others, feeling emotional. She had really found her family; her home and it was a little over-whelming. She jumped up and excused herself, running into the garden. Taron followed behind him Tina hovered in the kitchen. “Babe? he asked as he saw her sit on the garden bench and fall onto her side.  
He was quick and easily he moved her to the ground and sat behind her, his arms around her waist. Tina watched her son from the kitchen window, pride filling her heart as she watched him comfort Eryn, bringing her swiftly out of her panic attack. She hugged him “Sorry” she breathed as he shook his head. “What happened? He said leaning back to see her face, she looked up at him “You lot” she smiled “It just hit me what I have” she said her breathing getting faster again “Okay, okay” he said stroking her back. “Lets not go down again” he smiled “So this was a happy panic attack, that’s new” he added “I guess it’s the fear of losing it all now” she admitted.  
“You don’t need to worry about that Eryn” Tina said coming out of the house and crouching next to her “Sorry, I was eavesdropping” she admitted as she stroked Eryn’s arm. “Come on get off that cold floor and come back in” she said. As Eryn rose off the floor Tina hugged her “It’s ok to be over-whelmed, just tell us ok” she told her. Eryn nodded “I need practice at that one” she admitted. The group went back inside and sat back down in the lounge, Guy bringing a fresh pot of tea and plate of biscuits for them all.  
As they munched on biscuits, Eryn picked Draig up from the floor and tucked him onto her lap, He was being rather a bother to Tina and Guy’s poodle cross who she could see was getting fed up with the excitable little chap. Guy and Taron were still very tight lipped about what they had planned for the music and entertainment and seemed to be enjoying the women’s frustrated attempts to break them.  
“So, I get no say over the music at all? Eryn complained “Nope, you get everything else, this bit is mine” Taron was firm. Even putting Draig’s little face up to his wasn’t going to break him, Draig just licked him as if he were agreeing to keep the secret too.  
The couple walked slowly back up the hill, Draig still learning how to be on a lead. He would simply lay flat on the ground. Waiting to be carried, Eryn frustrated Taron by giving in every time “He won’t learn, if you give in” he laughed at her as she pouted at him. “But he’s still so little” she complained “Well I can see who the disciplinarian will be” he said shaking his head. Finally, Draig got the idea and began to walk a little, Eryn clapped happily and picked him up “Well done baby” she grinned at Taron “What?” she asked as they walked the rest of the way Draig on her arms.  
\-------  
Two weeks went so quick and Taron was soon back into promotion. Eryn was working on her autobiography still and between that, puppy training and liaising with Tina over the wedding and Henny over the surrogacy. Eryn was kept busy. It was late when Taron got into his first hotel in Korea. Calling Eryn as he settled in to catch up on some sleep and ease his jet lag.  
She laid on their bed, Draig snoring loudly beside her as she chatted the laptop on the bed. Taron looked exhausted, “I hope you are going to make sure you sleep Welsh boi? Eryn nagged. “I will, It was hard trying to get comfortable on the plane with my cast, but it’s better in bed. I can put the pillows around like you do” he smiled. “I miss you already” Eryn pouted “I know, me too” He told her. She pressed her fingers to the screen as Taron leant forward and made out to kiss them.  
As they said their goodnights, Eryn blew him a kiss “Love you Welsh Boi” she told him. “Love you too gorgeous, I’ll be home in 6 weeks, just 6” he told her before signing off. 6 weeks sounded a bloody long time to her. She huffed as Draig wriggled into a different position, once Eryn had settled into the covers. The enormous bed highlighting Taron’s absence. She opened the window and allowing the sounds of the waves wash over her, she was soon in a deep sleep.  
The fabric on her face was tight, she couldn’t breathe. Grabbing at the sides she kicked her legs desperately. But the pillow was pressing hard down on her face. As suddenly as it came on, the light came through, his face smirking down at her. She tried to get up, but he held her shoulders down. He was pressing himself into her and as much as she tried as much as she fought. It was no use. It went black again. But the smell it lingered. His breathy sounds stayed in her ears. As she managed finally to sit up.  
Her eyes getting used to the dark, she realised her sheets were wet. It was a dream. She exhaled heavily, her head in her hands. “Fucking Arsehole” she spat. “You don’t have the right to be in my fucking head” she cried angrily. Draig looked up at his mistress, nervous. “Oh baby” she soothed, picking him up and holding him close “I’m sorry” she scratched his head and getting up, took him downstairs to let him out to wee. As she stood at the back door, the kettle boiling. She wished she smoked and considered looking for Taron’s stash. But, when Draig returned pleased with himself and happily nibbling the treat she gave him, all thoughts of what had happened began to slip away. Concentrating on Draig, meant she could push all the images out of her mind. Though she found herself feeling her throat every now any then. She still had a slight scar left from the cable Phil had used to hang her up.  
It wasn’t often she thought about that but struggling for breath had brought it back to her. She sat in Taron’s office on his leather chair, the blanket on her knees and Draig in her lap. She picked up one of Taron’s pile of books he wanted to read. Flicking through, she began to read some of it. It was impossible, thoughts of the dream kept filtering into what she was reading, and she put the book back.  
Finishing her coffee, she went back to the bedroom. Looking at her empty bed, she knew she’d need to change the sheets. Instead of bothering with it, she took her Laptop into the spare room, Draig pootled in and she lifted him onto the bed as she scrolled though her social media. As the google page sat open the cursor ready to go, she bit the bullet and typed ‘Pregnancy stages’ She had avoided looking at anything to do with pregnancy and birth or babies.  
But right now, it was the ultimate distraction. She looked at the medical illustrations, showing the size of the foetus at certain weeks. Eryn found herself running her finger over the images and seeing how small the pictured images were in relation to her hands. Once she had reached the full-term page, she tried to push the butterflies down, that had begun to go nuts in her stomach. Instead she found a website selling bespoke baby equipment, cots, prams etc and browsed the items, wondering what she’d choose. Without caring she began to add things to the cart that she liked.  
As if he knew somehow, as she was about to check out a text came through from Taron it was a simple picture, a baby vest, it read ‘Half Welsh and the rest of me wants to be welsh too’ Eryn smiled and hit speed dial his phone picking up immediately. “Are you crying? It’s cute right? He asked as Eryn just sniffled. “What happened to not getting our hopes up Welsh Boi? She asked quietly. “I know, but Draig can always wear it, if need be” she heard his smile, though unable to see it. “You mean you ordered it? She asked looking guiltily at her online cart. “Maybe” he said sheepishly. “I blame the Jet-lag, I can’t get off” he groaned. Audibly stretching. “Well, how about we switch this to video, I have an idea, that might get, you, off” she smirked and hung up. Opening skype she dialled him in. His room was dark. He lay on his stomach his hair scraggy from attempting to sleep, his eyes were heavy. He wore nothing under the duvet another way he hoped he might get rested, without fighting with his nightwear and cast again.  
Eryn’s screen however was blank for a few minutes, behind the camera she pulled herself into Taron’s favourite red negligee. In the background she played En Vogue’s greatest hits. All of a sudden, a red lace stocking appeared, as Eryn placed her foot on the bed and slide it into the stocking in time to the music being played Taron grinned and rolled on to his side placing his laptop on the bed. He watched as she slid the stocking up her leg, over her knee and fixed it to the dangling section he knew attached to her corset. She ran her hands up her leg seductively as the screen cleared you saw her as she place one leg either side of the laptop. She knelt on the bed allowing her cleavage to be on full view. Taron felt himself getting hard and his hand ran down to his cock, as his eyes darkened “So Welsh Boi what are you going to do to me? Eryn whispered into mike as she ran her hands over her breasts, lifting them out and using her nails she pinched one “Let me tell you how this works, you talk I do” she told him “OK” he said tentatively. “Take that corset off now” he ordered as she reached around her back, folding the hooks back they released in one go, the corset fell off and revealing her naked torso.  
“Damn I want to touch you so bad” he groaned. “Where baby, tell me? she urged “Remove your knickers” he demanded his voice a deep growl “I want to see what you are doing too, you have something to show me? She asked he swallowed hard and kicked the duvet off. “You look so hot baby, so hard, we are going to have to help each other out right now” she cooed using what she hoped was her best seductive tones. “ Tell me what you want Baby” he crooned “I want you to hold it firmly and I want to see your hands running up and down, just the way I know that you like it, like I would do it if I were there” she told him. “Close your eyes, I want you to feel it as if I am right there baby, your hand is mine. Feel my mouth its around the end, loving every bit of it, flicking my tongue across the head, don’t slow down, come on baby” she continued. Eryn was nervous but turning a light on to make it easier for Taron to see, she removed her underwear and positioned herself, so he was able to watch her hands. Slipping one between her legs, his eyes widened as he saw he fingers go to work on her clit “It was enough to send him over. Eryn heard the familiar change in his breathing and moving close to the mike, she pressed him on “Oh baby yes, baby come for me, I need you to come for me” she pleaded. She heard the groans and saw him drop back on the bed, she smiled.  
Once he’d caught his breath, he turned to her “Now your turn” he said a slight sound of mischievousness in his voice that turned Eryn on. “So, tell me what to do? she told him. “Get the vibrator” he replied darkly. She bit her lip and reached into her bottom drawer, she hadn’t been in the silver bag for a good while but pulled out the rabbit and squirted the lube quickly over it. She let Taron watch as she ran her hand up and down it’s length and waited instruction. “First show me what you can do” he encouraged her. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to give away her prowess with the device but knowing that it would have his mind go crazy, She chose to go for it.  
Expertly she pressed the rotate button at first and dipped it inside her enough to reach the G-spot. As it did it’s thing, he hand ran up her body, across her breasts and above her head as the sizzling sensations ran through her. He made out a small movement then the vibrations kicked in. She had the device upside down which confused Taron, but not wanting to ruin the moment kept it to himself. As he watched her run the shaft in and out speeding up as she went. He grinned as he watched her face making the familiar expressions he knew. “God, I want to kiss you baby” he moaned “I need you to feel my hands on you Eryn” he added “Where Taron where are your hands? She whimpered “in your hair, my lips are on yours, my tongue in your mouth” he found himself getting hard again already, watching her as the speed of her movements increased exponentially “Oh God” she crowed and span the vibrator around tucking the rabbit ears into her clit “FUCK, Taron Omg Fuck” she cried one hand covered her eyes as she came hard, her hips moving the vibrator as her orgasm hit both hands rose above her head as her back arched and she shuddered relentlessly.  
A hand moved the vibe and dropped it still buzzing on the floor. All was quiet, bar the buzzing sound on the vibrator on the floor. And then the worst happened, Eryn out of it, didn’t hear it. But Taron did, the sound of paws on the wood floor and the buzzing sound retreating “Shit, Fuck NO! Eryn screamed and Taron burst into laughter realising what had happened and watching Eryn’s bare backside disappear in pursuit of Draig and his new ‘toy’. When she returned, she wrapped the blanket around herself and grinned at Taron, he had now turned a light on, and they could both see each other properly now. “Did you get it back? He laughed “No I washed it and gave it back; he had chewed the rabbit ears off already” she smirked. Trying not to laugh “Don’t worry I’ll throw it in the morning before anyone sees it”  
“That was fun” Taron smiled at Eryn “Not as fun as you being here, but it wasn’t bad” she smiled “I’m starting to wonder above you Riley, You have some double life as a sexpert of something I don’t know about” he chuckled “ Hey you came up with the vibrator bit” she reminded him. He nodded “True”. “You will need a new nickname for me soon, I won’t be Riley much longer” she smiled “Well then you will just be Mrs Egerton, won’t you” he grinned, butterflies buffeting his stomach. “I like the sound of that” she agreed “You look tired, you think you can sleep now? She asked “Maybe, but I don’t want to go just yet” he said sleepily. “I miss your face being just there” he said patting the pillow next to him. “I know” you didn’t notice but I was in the spare room to begin with, I came in here when I got the red number out” she told him “I felt weird being in the bed alone, I’ve not slept in this bed without you” she sighed. “Not long darling” he soothed “I know” she mused.  
“The guys are already after you to sort out our Hen/Stag do’s, by the way” she told him, his face lit up. “Oh god do I want to know” she smiled “No, you just worry about your little girlie Tea party” he grinned. “Tea party?” she said sarcastically. “Maybe a child friendly tea, but Henny’s in charge of my Hen” she laughed “Oh god yeah” he said “ You’re screwed baby” he laughed “Well, I wouldn’t be too complacent either Welsh Boi from what I’ve heard Bleddyn, has some pretty interesting ideas, that have been circulating already” she warned. “Remind me why this is a tradition again, seems pretty hard on the bride and groom” he smiled. His eyes closing as he yawned for the 3rd time in a row. “Time you hit the hay Welsh Boi” Eryn told him “Come tuck me in” he pouted. “Wish I could” she joined him pouting back.


	75. Chapter 75

Chapter 75  
Taron smiled when he saw Henny waiting at London Gatwick for him, She ran up and hugged him. Taking over his trolley, she filled him in on all the preparations she and Bleddyn had been organising, This was going to be one awesome Hen/Stag weekend. That was for sure. As he climbed in the passenger seat of her beetle for the 4/5hr journey back to Aber, he wondered if he was in for a hectic drive. But for all of Henny’s overpowering personality, he began to feel glad to spend time with her. She was after all going to be carrying his child and he hadn’t spent any real time with her, without Eryn around or some event going on. He soon got comfy in the front seat and enjoyed her eclectic musical choices. “So, how are you feeling? the injections and everything” he asked “I’m not needle phobic so yeah they were a doddle” she smiled “What about you? how do you feel about this next stage of things? the implantation. It’s kind of the proper start of it all” she asked in reply. He thought for a moment “In a way I think the wedding is a great distraction, don’t get me wrong. I’m excited, but Hen what if it still doesn’t work? It’ll kill Eryn” he sighed “I know Hun, I know” she said kindly and looking at him she knew not only Eryn either.  
“So, What have you and Bled, been up to?” he asked raising an eyebrow. “Well let’s just say that if Eryn thinks all she’s getting is a 50’s Tea party in the garden, she’s going to get the surprise of her life, pretty sure that you will too” she winked he groaned “Oh dear, I am in trouble”  
It wasn’t long before Taron fell asleep and Aber appeared in the distance. They had swapped a couple of times taking it in turns to drive. They pulled up to the gates and an excited small voice answered the intercom, letting the car in. By the time the car parked up, Mari, Rosie and Draig were running out of the front door to greet them. 

Taron grabbed Draig and hugged each of the girls, while he sat in the passenger seat still. Henny hugged Eryn and Tina, who Henny took quickly to one side. “Girl’s why don’t you, Taron and Eryn, take Draig inside and show them the things for the tea party tomorrow?” Tina called. It was with some glee that Tina and Henny, quickly moved the items from Henny’s boot to Tina’s hopefully without either Eryn or Taron seeing them. The laughed continued as they finished and Tina called the girls, with lots to organise she needed her daughters to help her out. Henny came in with the rest of the bags and things and dropped them at the bottom of the stairs. “Hen, you should have let me do that” Taron told her “I’m not pregnant yet T, I’m not a poor little weak girlie” she laughed and carried her bag upstairs to her usual room”

Meanwhile, Taron pulled Eryn into his arms. “Mmm at last” he sighed as his head leant on her shoulder and he lightly kissed her neck. She too leant into him, breathing him in deeply. “I missed you” she pouted.  
As they rocked gently, He pushed her gently against the sofa, making her topple on to it. “Oops” he said evenly “That was on purpose” she replied sarcastically. Kissing her lightly, as he settled next to her, his chest resting on hers. His hands running up her cheek and into her hair. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” She said “I’m actually quite looking forward to the little garden party, with Henny, Tina and the pink ladies. (as she now called the girls from Taron’s and now her friends from Aber, the boys obviously T-Birds)  
“I am an old lady now remember” she smiled “Cougar” Taron added. Eryn playfully made a tiger growl and paw action. As she did Draig pootled into the lounge jumping up on the sofa with the pair he wandered along Taron’s back settled himself on his shoulder nonchalantly. “Hello Buddy, Did you miss me too? Taron asked chuckling as his little mate. Closed his eyes sleepily. “Your shoulder is comfy; I have to admit” she said and scratched Draig’s chin as he lifted his little chin enjoying the treat. Copying the pup Taron did similar Eryn smiled scratching under his chin and lightly kissing him, Loving the feeling of melting into his lips again after so much time apart. It felt like the first time all over again. He pressed a little harder and they felt the heat increase between them “Henny’s here remember” Eryn warned as Taron’s hands began to wander under her top, “Well let’s take this upstairs” he whispered in her ear. “I was enjoying the cwtch actually you randy bugger” she replied “Not my fault, you do something to me” he whined “I can do hands off though, for now” he smiled, dropping his head and resting it on her chest as Draig grumbled at the disruption letting out low growl and resettled.  
\-----  
The house was buzzing the next day, Henny was up early and out the door to get arranged for the tea party at ‘The Cabin’, Eryn had been given her outfit and strict instructions to wait for Henny to return for her at 4pm. Taron on the other hand had a lazy day, waking at lunchtime, all he had been told to do was wear what was in a bag he had been given, the boys were meeting in the Glen at 8pm and Bleddyn would come by to walk down with him. Eryn had her shower and opened the garment bag. 

She pulled out a pretty tea dress, a meringue of a petticoat and a sweet pair of Mary Jane heels. Along with a pair of sheer white hold up stockings, with a line that ran down the back of her leg. It was all really pretty, and she was excited. There was a knock at the door and Henny came in, along with her she brought a local girl Lianne, who was there to make the girls hair and make-up work with their outfits. Soon both Henny and Eryn looked perfect for the vintage Tea party and with a glass of wine under their belts, they were ready to go. Bleddyn had arrived downstairs already to hang out for the afternoon.  
As the ladies came into the garden, Taron grinned “Wow look at you” he stood up and taking Eryn’s hand he twirled her around making her skirt swirl. “Very pretty” he told her kissing her cheek “I like the hair” he said checking out her 50’s styled curl. “You try and be good but have fun later” Eryn told Taron. Kissing him back “I will see you probably tomorrow, now” she smiled patting his backside.  
The two ladies walked arm in arm down the road toward the town centre and ‘The Cabin’ giggling and laughing. The sun was out and it was a beautiful afternoon, as they arrived they saw Eve and Tina, the girls and the pink ladies all there, music was playing and a private party sign on the door, the girls were excited as Mari gave Eryn a sash reading ‘Bride to Be with an ‘L’ plate symbol’.  
The tables had been pushed back to create space in the centre for a dance area. Rose wine and lemonade was on offer along with traditional milkshakes and coke floats. It was a really fun mock 50’s era party. Kat, Niamh and Meghan went as far as dressing in matching pink lady jackets, Henny having sent them down from London for them. Soon, it was like the group had known each other for years and Eryn had to stop herself from grinning constantly. Her cheeks hurting.  
By 6pm the party was scaling down and Henny suggested that she and Eryn accompany Tina and the girls back to the house. Eryn tried to hide her disappointment that it was all over already, with a whole evening ahead. Knowing Taron’s stag would only just be starting to get ready.  
“Are you for real? Taron laughed as he saw both Guy and Bleddyn in their sailor suits, Pulling his own on, he shook his head “What the fuck Bled” he grinned. “Just shut up mate, tonight I am in charge of you, I won’t let anything happen, well nothing too bad anyway” he laughed “Guy? Taron pleaded. But Guy simply took a swig from his corona bottle and handed Taron his. “I am not even going to start to tell you about my stag, mate” Guy laughed as the three headed downstairs and to the garden. Taron calling out to Alexa and filling the house with 90’s dance classics. Bleddyn and Taron laughing and enjoying the memories of their shared history. 

As the women, sat in the lounge. Tina took the girls upstairs to get ready for bed. They had roped a friend in to babysit. Allowing Tina and Guy the night off, it also meant that Tina’s sister, Taron’s Aunty Eve could join in the fun. While Eryn sat glumly in the lounge, Henny disappeared to the Loo. She was taking her time and Eryn began to feel very fed up, the anti-climax now hitting her. She mused about the next few hectic days. She was glad they chose not to have the Hen/ Stag the night before the wedding. She couldn’t cope with this on top of everything else. Most of all was ‘Implantation Day’ they had planned in their sentimentality to book it in a couple of days before the wedding. In reality though it was going to be yet another thing to think about. The Dr was kind enough to relocate for the treatment to a local clinic, Henny had organised. Including somehow to have a chopper bring her down from London. 

Eryn shook these thoughts as she saw Henny appear finally out of the bathroom.  
Henny was no longer dressed in her 50’s tea dress, instead she now looked like something from The Moulin Rouge and Halloween mixed together. Her outfit was a kind of harlequin design clown, but with a burlesque edge. As Eryn was still taking it all in Tina, nervously emerged dressed in similar attire from upstairs. Eryn burst into laughter as Henny pulled her off the sofa and into the bathroom where her own set of clothes were laid out. “Did you think that 50’s thing was all I had planned for you Babs? Henny giggled while Tina and she helped Eryn into her new outfit. “What on earth Hen? Eryn bit her lip excitedly as she took in her appearance.  
She ran her hands up her fishnet clad legs, taking in the corset and feathers. She certainly felt gorgeous and the 50’s hair from earlier seemed a perfect addition. Henny handed Eryn a glass of champagne as Tina popped it, hitting the ceiling with the cork and trying not to make too much noise for the children. The women took their glasses out to the waiting car and finished them off. The car didn’t take them far, in fact they stopped outside the Arts centre. Waiting outside were the pink ladies and a few other friends of theirs, all similarly dressed, Tina’s sister Eve was also amongst the crowd of excited women as Eryn and Henny got out of the car, the girls shrieked and hugged and kissed each other.  
“Good evening ladies” came a voice above the cacophony, It was from a wonderfully dressed drag queen named “Aber Ation” she was stunning and camp as fuck. She directed the group into the building and a dance studio next to the stage area. Inside it was set up with a number of metal poles and at the floor of each a pile of objects to use. “This evening ladies we are going to use our sexiest inner woman and this young lady, Dina” Aber introduced a smaller young lady dressed head to toe in lycra. “Dina is going to turn you all, into burlesque goddesses… Good luck” she rang off sarcastically as she headed outside. Dina began the class, and everyone was soon laughing and enjoying the banter. Trying out the moves and having the best time. A break was called half-way and drinks and nibbles were laid out.

Meanwhile the boys were enjoying their time chilling out at ‘The Glen’ Bleddyn, Taron and Guy had met up with the much larger group of lads and were loving the sailor suit uniform that everyone had accepted and joined in merrily with. Taron was on guard but enjoying his time with the lads as they joked and teased each other back and forth. He was beginning to relax and forget any of the plans, his best mate had up his sleeve. But at abut 9pm, Bleddyn suddenly directed everyone out of the pub, With Guy up front they trailed up the town. Taron wasn’t concerned and assumed it was all part of a pub crawl until they began their way down a familiar path and to the Arts centre, he knew well. 

“Good Evening Lads” greeted Aber Ation. The boys were pretty drunk already and up for anything ‘Aber’ had for them, she took them through to another dance studio on the opposite side to the girls. Hearing the music and laughter across the foyer, Taron looked intrigued but Bled was on it in a second, distracting him away. Knowing full well what was planned as he and Henny had spent a lot of time together getting everything set up and as he guided the group into the studio, he saw Henny at the window and gave her a thumbs up.

Eryn and the Hen’s were in such a great mood and hadn’t even noticed the kerfuffle of the boys entering the centre. They soon were re-energised by the nibbles and drinks and went into the second half eager and ready. This portion of the lesson was meant to bring everything they had managed to learn (if anything) from the first section together to perform a routine. The girls were already pretty tipsy and loving every minute, though as far as a routine was concerned. It was a hilarious mess of laughter and overzealous drunken craziness.

In the Boy’s studio, The guys were changing into a pair of red glitter speedo type underwear, much to the hilarity of the group. As they pinged them at each other, pants flying everywhere. “Lads, lads, boys, Gentle men now, this is looking more like postman pat with a floppy hat, than Magic Mike” Aber complained as she walked around with a cane she had found somewhere. She picked up a speedo with the end and handed to its owner. The guys were glad to see a shirt and trousers along with their speedos. A tie and hat was also part of the ensemble.

Once the group were finally ready Aber introduced another dance instructor “Daffyd” to the group “Now guys you have all seen the full Monty or at least understand the concept” he began as the group shot each other looks. Taron in particular at Guy, who grinned. 

By 11pm, Both groups were ready, and the boys were first lead to the auditorium. Taron was blind folded in the wings “What the fuck are you up to Bled” he asked nervously as his mate smirked “It is your Stag mate” was all he replied as the group walked onto the stage. “I can’t fucking see where to walk let alone anything else” he moaned as Bled led him to his spot. Just stay right there” Bled told him. Taron was terrified and expecting a stripper of sorts he mentally prepared himself.  
The girl’s too were led into the wings, Eryn though had been held back, she too was blindfolded. As the groups saw each other they were told to keep the fact that each other were there quiet as Eryn was also brought onto the stage. The women and men found partners and Eryn was put directly facing Taron. Both aware that someone was around them they breathed heavily as the music began and the routine started around them. 

Behind her, Henny lifted Eryn’s hands and placed them on Taron’s shoulders as Bleddyn placed Taron’s on Eryn’s hips. Eryn immediately gasped as she smelt the familiar scent as her hands ran up his chest, Henny and Bled pulled the blind folds off. The stage erupting in laughter, clapping and whooping as Eryn and Taron came face to face and took in each other’s faces and then outfits. Grinning from ear to ear, Eryn fell onto Taron’s shoulder relieved as Taron scolded his friends. 

“Now, Now ladies and gents, surprises are just beginning for you two” Aber begin as she walked on stage. Lads if you would retreat to the seats, the ladies have something to show you, but don’t get to comfortable as you’re up next” She drawled. Taron kissed Eryn lightly and followed the boys.

Salt n Pepa’s ‘Whatta man’ began out of the loudspeakers as the women began their routine, throwing all they could into the sexy moves. Taron did his best to focus on Eryn, aware that his mam and auntie were among the gyrating ladies on stage. He took a glance at Guy at one point instantly regretting doing so. He found himself wriggling in his seat as he watched Eryn’s moves. Flicking her feathers and motioning to him directly and erotically. The routine ended with a bout of Grace Jones ‘pull up to the bumper’ as the women came down from the stage and choosing a man, she wrapped her boa around their neck and led them back up on stage.

They left them on the stage and made their way to the seats to watch what the boys had on offer. Leaving their boas behind. 

Taron grinned as the lights dropped and Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ began and segued into the classic full Monty song ‘You can leave your hat on” as the boys began to strip. The girls were screaming and going crazy in the stalls. Eryn and Henny loudest of all, Singing and dancing along. Eryn licked her lips at Taron as he pulled off the horniest moves, the crowd erupted as they pulled off their trousers, exposing the glitter speedo’s a rousing noise of laughter, squeals and singing enveloped the space as the girls screamed “Off, Off, Off” and the boys replaced their speedo’s for the hats. Throwing the speedo’s into the crowd. 

Tears streaming down the girls faces, the boys came running into the stalls and joined the girls as the group laughed and giggled, chatted. Giving away the fact that they had thrown spare speedos into the audience. Aber re-appeared and thanked everyone, she led the groups back to the studio where there were more drinks and music playing. As the boys re dressed themselves and some of the girls, began to say their goodbyes. Eryn hugging everyone and thanking them for coming. She hugged Tina, Guy and Eve, who had told Eryn they were going to drag Henny to their place for the night. As it was finally the two of them left, Eryn sat and sipped her wine as she watched Taron get dressed back in his sailor outfit, both thoroughly drunk. She had to hold him up as he stepped in the legs, laughing. They thanked Aber and began the walk back home, it wasn’t far, and the night air made Eryn feel cosy, as she held Taron’s arm. 

While they approached the house, though the couple were suddenly overwhelmed as the boys re appeared and dragged Taron off. Eryn stood shocked and laughing as Taron disappeared into the distance his face looking utterly perplexed and a little terrified.


	76. Chapter 76

Chapter 76  
It was cold, wet and that was most definitely a sheep. Taron opened his eyes and groaned. Looking down he saw what the boys had done. Thankfully, Henny was busy trying to cut the duct tape off his arms and wrists. They were wound around a fence post as he was suspended sideways on the fence, in the middle of a random field a short walk away from a road. She had managed to wrap a towel around his shoulders and using a Stanley knife released one then the other arm. Taron was able to help himself then, wincing and shouting expletives into the field as his leg hair was wrenched from the skin on his legs. He fell into the mud as the tape he was held up with left his body, now shouting out further frustrated scorn on his so – called friends. 

Henny too was drenched and helped Taron to the car and in the dry, She cranked up the heat. Before grinning “Don’t you dare, this is not fucking funny” he warned. But Henny pulled the sun visor down so he could look in the mirror. Scowling at his reflection, he saw what the boys had done. He had ‘Loser’ written across his forehead, a set of false eyelashes were stuck to his upper eyes, one was diagonal and the other hanging off. Bright red lipstick was smeared across his mouth and pink cock and balls drawn on his cheeks. He was also covered head to toe in glitter and penis shaped confetti. He had a plastic ball and chain around one leg, but other than the glitter speedo’s was wearing nothing else. His ankles and wrists were red and sore from the tape and his head was banging hard. His ears frozen by the wind had given him earache. 

“So, was this yours or Bled’s idea?” he seethed “I mean I take it you were in on it or how did you know to come and get me” he stared out of the window. “It’s tradition Taron, c’mon, Did you get left out there long? She tried warily. he huffed as she brought them in through the gates and was out of the car, practically as Henny pressed the foot brake. He stormed into the house passed a very confused and concerned Eryn. Who shook her head at Henny and shut the door behind her. Henny turned the car around and headed back to Tina’s and Guys.  
Taron stormed straight upstairs and into the bathroom, Eryn heard the shower and made Taron a hot chocolate, adding a shot of whisky to warm him, she walked upstairs and pulled back the duvet, placing the blanket that usually laid on the end of the bed , by his side with a clean pair of his pyjamas. She lifted Draig and sat him on the bed, he padded over to the pillows, did his usual little circle and sat resting his chin on the bed satisfied. Ern tickled his head and sipped her own drink. She’d showered and got ready for bed, while the boys were up to their antics and hoping that they didn’t go too far, she was glad he was safe at home, even if he did look like a steaming kettle about to explode.  
As he appeared from the bathroom, he looked a little calmer. The writing on his face was still visible though and he huffed around the room. Seeing what Eryn had done, he sighed and said a quiet “Thank you babe” as he dressed and tasted the hot chocolate. “ahh” he closed his eyes as the alcohol ran though his body, easing the discomfort and relaxing him. Eryn knelt on the bed and moved behind him, her hands on his shoulders, she pressed her fingers into the muscles, feeling the knots and tension in him.  
He dropped his shoulders as she made short work of them, pressing deeply and producing pleasing groans and gasps from her subject. She picked a couple of penis confetti from his hair and placed them on his knee. He flicked them off onto the floor “Fuckers” he muttered. “Do I want to know? Eryn purred soothingly “No” he said “This is awesome though, don’t stop” he told her, his head dropping to his chest and eyes closing “The whisky was a nice treat too” he added. She kissed his neck and continued the massage down his back as he arched groaning. 

When he lifted his mug, she saw his wrist and taking both arms in her hands, she moved round to face him, her face suddenly stern and questioning “That looks bad and…” she broke off as her fingers ran over the writing on his forehead “Yeah that’s permanent fucker marker” he huffed. Eryn got up and collected her make-up remover and cotton wool. She pushed him back on the bed and he moved so he was leaning against the headboard, Eryn sat on his lap. She gently poured a little of the blue liquid onto the cotton ball and slowly and softly rubbed it in circles across his forehead. She was delicate and concentrating carefully as Taron’s hand reasted on her hips. He closed his eyes and the cool solution and motion of her movements massaged his headache away. Just as he felt himself becoming sleepy, she finished and passed him her mirror compact. His forehead was red from the pressure, but no sign of any writing was left. He smiled and lightly placed his hand on her cheek “I can always rely on you to fix me up” he told her. Kissing her firmly as he rocked her gently on his lap.  
His hands gripped her harder as he began to grind himself against her open legs, she leant herself into the kiss and felt the familiar sizzling heat between them. His tongue finding hers expertly as her hands rested on his chest, kneading his pecs as she joined in the movement he had instigated. Her hands dropped to his thighs as she held them tight, she moved sensually on his dick as she felt him harden in his Pyjama bottoms. She looked into his eyes as her hands massaged his thighs and enjoyed the sounds coming from Taron. 

He ran his hand up behind her head and leaning closer he hit her lips with his groaning deeply. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes. As they parted Taron caught a glimpse of something in Eryn’s eyes as she moved against him. Slowing his movements until he stopped, Taron gently rolled Eryn to the side, disturbing Draig who looked thoroughly put out by all the movement on the bed. He looked questioningly at Eryn trying to work out what it was he could see, “Eryn? He asked quietly “Are you ok? She nodded. Though there was something more definite in her attitude that made him question it again. Eryn moved determinedly forward and kissed Taron again, her hand began to run into his chest hair “Eryn stop a minute” he breathed “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to he said” as soon as the words came out, he saw it, he had read it correctly.  
“I thought we were passed this babe? he said sadly “It’s not you, It’s my brain Taron” she told him. “I feel like my body, brain are against me” she sighed “You do understand that we don’t have to eat the whole meal in one go, sometimes a starter alone is ok” he said making Eryn laugh at his analogy. Looking at her, he realised on some level she didn’t know that at all. “Babe, tell me, if I do this” he said grabbing her and kissing her as passionately as he could, leaving her breathless. He didn’t need to finish his sentence, her body language and facial expression said it all. She reddened and hid her face. “It’s my fucked-up brain Taron, somewhere at some point it connected to expect to perform on command, I guess is how to put it” she told him, still hiding her face.  
Taron lifted her head “You don’t need to be ashamed, It’s not your fault” he told her firmly. “Let me get this right, whenever we kiss, you think that I am expecting us to have full sex, Every single time, whether you want to or not? He scowled as the understanding filtered into his mind “That’s fucked up babe, seriously that is not how it is or ever should be” he looked at her incredulous as again her head dropped. “Oh Ren, I don’t mean, It’s not you. I know that, it explains a lot” he mused. He took her head in his hands and kissed her “A kiss is just that, nothing more, and that goes for everything else.” He told her “I want to be a good girlfriend / wife” she said shyly “So, what it’s your duty to keep me satisfied sexually? Or what you’re a bad girlfriend, a bad wife, is that what you really think?” Taron was fired up now, frustrated and angry at whoever had manipulated Eryn into thinking this was correct. “No, I don’t, but I have like this reflex I guess that yeah hits me with that sort of thing, I can’t help thinking it” she rolled her eyes sadly “That’s some chauvinistic, archaic bullshit Eryn, It’s brainwashing level shit” he ranted.  
Seeing Eryn’s face broke his heart as he understood that she had been living her life with this belief. He saw how easily Phil had manipulated her now and pulled her close. “I’m sorry Baby, I’m not cross at you, It’s just so wrong” he sighed as she kissed his neck. She didn’t think that she’d ever get used to Taron’s fierce protection of her nor how it left her feeling overwhelmed. But every time he ranted like this or became so passionate in her defence, it deepened her faith and trust in him and their love. She began to feel that the hole in her soul, might finally close.  
He calmed himself down and the couple laid together, Taron’s arm around Eryn as she laid in the crook of his neck. Draig making himself at home on Taron’s stomach. A frown was fixed to Taron’s forehead as he processed what he had learned and mused about how he might help Eryn to undo the years of conditioning. He tickled Draig who accommodated by laying on his back so he could get a tummy rub. “Stop it Welsh Boi” Eryn cooed “Stop thinking on it” she added as she too played with Draig “I’m sorry, I just hate to think that all this time, you have had that in your head baby” he admitted “There is still so much I don’t know, you’re a constant surprise Ms Riley” he continued. Moving to stroke her hair as she looked up at him “They fucked your brain up good and proper and that makes me angry, you didn’t deserve it, none of it and it hurts to think how much you’ve been hurt” he told her, tears threatening to fall from his eyes as he spoke.  
“But I wouldn’t be me, if I hadn’t been through it all and won these battles baby” she told him, “ Not that I would ever want to go through any of it again and if I could go back and have none of it happen, of course I’d choose that. I refuse to feel sorry for myself or see it as this massive depressing thing. It happened, it’s done, I can’t change any of it, all I can do is deal with the effects and move forward” she continued “ Now I know this, I can work through it and hopefully undo the messages so I don’t get them anymore and thanks to you, I know they are wrong and if you help me, I can ignore them” she said taking in his slight smile and the twinkle of his eyes, that she loved so much. He kissed her softly “I can do that” he sighed sleepily.  
Draig had now decided the end of the bed was less active and settled in a little curled heap.

Eryn snuggled into Taron closing her eyes, pulling a confetti penis out from under Taron’s head. “Seriously Welsh Boi, where are all these dicks coming from? She chuckled showing him “Oh god” he groaned “Fucking Bled, I’m going to kill him tomorrow” he sighed “I’m not going to ask, Hen will probably fill me in anyway” Eryn smiled lazily “Yeah she is in my bad books too” he grumbled “Hey don’t hold that grudge too long, we kind of need her on Wednesday” she reminded him. “Fuck Eryn, that’s two days” he grinned down at her, her eyes closed and breathing becoming shallower. “This is going to be one hell of a week” she said softly as Taron kissed her head, drifting off himself.


	77. Chapter 77

Chapter 77  
‘Implantation Day’

Eryn sat in bed; her legs crossed as she watched the ocean waves on the horizon. As the sun began to rise. She had been sleeping fitfully and given up now. She had her clothes laid out the night before but sat in her nightwear and dressing gown nursing a cuppa and running everything over in her mind. The enormous steps she was taking were losing their fear now and the excitement was slowly increasing, making the butterflies in her stomach on constant somersault attack. She watched Taron sleep and thought back to the hotel and that first night together. She remembered his face as she fell onto him attempting to reach the remote control. The picnic on the hill and found herself beaming as she remembered the moment their eyes met at Rummers.  
It seemed impossible that she was here, that all this around her was now hers and soon he too would be hers forever.  
She played with her engagement ring and pictured the second ring next to it. It had her shaking away the tears. Draig shook himself and pootled on to her lap, licking her hands she picked him up and took him out to the garden for his morning toilet break, she filled his bowls as he went and looked at the wedding invite on the pin board. Items were now starting to be brought up from Tina and Guys that needed to be at their place. It was decided that Taron would leave from their place and Eryn would stay at Tina and Guys the night before. The girls could bunk in together and they would all be in the same place. This meant anything non bride related was going up the road.  
Not only was today implantation day, It was collection day for a whole number of items. Thursday too. Friday was the final day to finish up as a rehearsal dinner was arranged at a local restaurant for Friday Evening. Jill was arriving that morning to begin setting up the Venue and organise everything. Eryn cleaned up the grass after Draig as he munched on his kibble. As she threw the bag in the outside bin, a flash of light crackled from down the lane as she turned, she saw three men with long lens cameras, pointing through the gates and up at her. She quickly headed back indoors.  
So, the Pap’s are here already she thought. Walking upstairs to dress, she thought about how Taron would react when he found out. She didn’t have to wait long. Taron was awake and pulling all the blinds at the front of the house as she arrived on the landing “Can they see inside? She asked amazed “I don’t know, but in case” he griped. “Morning” she said softly. He turned to her and smiled apologetically “Sorry, Good Morning baby” he said pulling her to him and kissing her softly “You’re up early, we don’t have to be at the clinic until 11am” he said stroking her fringe from her eyes and tucking it behind her ear. “Couldn’t sleep” she admitted “Nervacited? He asked giggling “Yes, definitely nervacited” she smiled rocking together, they danced to the music in their heads.

“Come back to bed, I want a cwtch” Taron urged, smiling she walked across the landing and into their room now darkened by the closed curtains “We need to know if they have to be closed Taron, I’m not happy being forced into darkness by those pricks” she frowned and wriggled into place, guiding Taron to lay on her chest so she could scratch his head. He closed his eyes and smiled as he felt the pleasure of her touch on his head and in his hair. 

“Remind me how long it is before Henny can take a test? Eryn asked “28 days” Taron replied, despite knowing Eryn already knew, she clearly needed to reaffirm the facts, to ease her nerves. “Thank god we are away for two weeks of it, it’s going to kill me” she groaned “Knowing your patience, baby It’s going to be bad, yeah. But I will keep you distracted, don’t worry” he told her, groaning and moving with her hands, directing her to the good spots and growling deeply as she hit them. 

“When are you back into work? She asked again already knowing the answer “November 3rd” he replied his voice monotone as he concentrated on his head scratch “and that’s going to be? She asked as he rolled over, looking up at her now fixed face, her eyes on the verge of nervous tears “Don’t Welsh Boi, or I will cry, I’ll be good in a minute” she told him He sat up anyway and pulled her into hug, tears fell and she pouted “Meanie” she grumbled “Better out than in” he told her. “It’s just a lot, you know, Babies and weddings all together” she told him softly. He nodded “I know” he said resting his head on top of hers as they softly rocked together before slipping down under the duvet and closing their eyes.

When they woke up, They had an hour before the appointment and needed to leave in 3/4hour. They heard the front door as they got dressed and Henny clattering upstairs, she was bedraggled and looked pale if a little green around the gills. Taron frowned at her and walked dramatically passed her on the stairs as Eryn chuckled. “He still pissed off at me?” she asked “What did you do to him? Eryn asked “I shall fill you in later, I’m going to grab and shower and change ready for this thing I have to do” she smiled Eryn jumped on her friend and hugged her “ Excited much” Henny laughed “God Hen, you stink, come on woman that’s your last night of freedom, it’s all milk and water now” Eryn teased “You have my baby to grow” she grinned “I will do my best” Henny replied saluting Eryn “No, but seriously Eryn, I am not fucking this up for you” she looked at Eryn as the two women began to well up “ Seriously Hen, shower” Eryn told her friend to stop them both becoming an emotional mess already.

\----  
Sitting in the clinic room Taron and Eryn held hands as Eryn’s knee bounced up and down, it was usual for her when she was nervous. Henny gripped Eryn’s other hand as the trio shared occasionally glances, silent as no-one knew what to say.  
“Helen McCrory” the clinician called her in, As all three stood. “If Mum and Dad want to wait outside, Helen shall have the procedure and return to you shortly. Eryn Kissed Henny who hugged her, Taron hugged Henny too “Am I forgiven? She asked “Hen, I would forgive you anything for doing this for us” Taron told her. She followed the clinician and the door shut. “Fuck” Eryn sighed pacing the floor. Taron took her hands and held her still “She called us Mum and Dad” Eryn squeaked Taron chuckled “I know, pretty awesome huh? He replied. Eryn raised her head and looked at him nodding “Shit Taron” was all she could manage as her eyes closed and she leant her head on his shoulder.  
Just 30 minutes later Henny walked out of the room as if she’d been for a routine dental appointment. She was given a pack of instructions, including a pregnancy test and pre-natal vitamins. Though Henny had started on those at the same time as beginning the injections. Leaving the clinic, the trio crossed the road and headed to the cabin for something to eat and drink. “I can’t stop looking at your belly Hen” Eryn laughed “I just want to rub it” she grinned. “what like Buddha, for good luck” Henny replied laughing too.  
Arriving at the The cabin, Tina and the girls were waiting for them and had already ordered for everyone, the talk was kept normal around the girls, but with Taron entertaining them outside for a while, Tina, Eve, Eryn and Henny chatted and talked it all through. The procedure was similar to a smear test. She was able to watch the needle on a tv screen as it was implanted. “Eryn looked at the pack and found a DVD inside, “omg they gave you the film? She gasped tears again threatening to fall “Well that’s for you clearly” Henny told her, after all I thought it harsh that you couldn’t be in the room when it happened. Eryn hugged Henny knowing how much that DVD meant.  
“He’s quiet” Tina said looking at Taron, Eryn hummed “I know, I will take him off somewhere in a bit, I think he’s just processing it all” Eryn added. “He and Guy are off this evening to do something with this entertainment thing of theirs, I’ll see if I can get Guy to have a chat too” Tina told her “Thank you” Eryn replied. “Well now, all this baby making is all well and good, but we have a wedding to get off the ground, and I have to meet Jill at home” Tina told them. “What are you doing Hen? She asked “She is resting” Eryn told her, that’s what she was told to do, rest for the rest of the day. “Really?? Boring” Henny complained “It was a tiny needle, I mean really, I’ve had bigger and not needed to rest” she chuckled as the other women groaned.

Eryn stood and watched Taron play with the girls for a bit, Then walked with them and Tina back up to their respective houses. Parting at Tina and Guy’s “Guy will be round at 5pm Taron ok? Tina asked. Taron nodded still quiet and distracted. Eryn grabbed his arm “Ok spill, you’ve hardly spoken since Henny came out” she said “It just like you said, It’s all a bit overwhelming” he told her resting his head on hers for a minute or two. Suddenly it hit him, They had forgotten all about the Paps, Having left in Henny’s car earlier, they hadn’t even thought twice about walking home as they would normally do. 

The cameras flashed in Eryn’s face blinding her temporarily and was glad to feel Taron’s hand in hers, tightening his grip she heard his voice “Come on guys, move out of her way, we just want to get inside” he was clearly rattled and Eryn felt her face redden in anger. She straightened her head and pressed her way passed a stocky fella, accidently her foot knocking him off balance, his camera flying up and crashing back down on the concrete as Taron pulled her through the electric gate. The couple walked quickly up to the house, though without making it obviously so.  
Shutting the door, Eryn grabbed Taron’s wrist stopping him. “Do not go anywhere, come here” she said firmly as he turned to her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder, he realised that she was shaking and held her tighter. Looking into her eyes she smiled sadly, her face showing her fear. “They scare you? He asked “It was the shock, that’s all” she admitted “Don’t go there Taron” she warned him, knowing his feelings about the intrusion of the press. He sighed “Okay, but come and sit down” he said “and I will make us a brew”  
Eryn sat on the sofa and began to play with Draig, as Taron put the mugs down and sat next to her, her feet on his lap “Talk to me” She said as she sipped the tea “I don’t know what to say, I think it was being called ‘Dad’ he said. Eryn smiled “I know, surreal wasn’t it? He nodded “I don’t think I’ve let myself even begin to go there, not really” he told her “and today you did? She asked “I did” he smiled his eyes wet with the emotions that were filling him. Eryn squeezed his hand. 

“If this is us now, we are going to be emotional wrecks come Saturday” Eryn chuckled wiping her own eyes. “What if I’m no good? Taron muttered. Eryn turned and looked at him “No good? “As a father, I mean biology, genetics and all that crap” he struggled to straighten his thoughts out to explain himself. “I don’t really know how to explain it, I get on with my Dad an all now. But…” he sighed heavily “You are not your Dad, just like I am not my mum” Eryn told him firmly “I see you with Mari and Rosie and it’s all there, It sounds daft but, I see you as a father and I just know how amazing you are going to be, and maybe even more so because you know what it feels like not to have one or one not around” at that moment Draig as if sensing Taron’s mood pootled over to Taron’s lap and climbing up Taron’s body settled bizarrely on his shoulder, nestling his small nose into Taron’s neck he began to lick behind his ear, tickling him.

“Draig loves his Daddy too don’t you Draig? Eryn chuckled watching him. Taron wiping the wetness off his neck, he tickled under Draig’s chin making his back leg kick out and his head lean back clearly enjoying himself. “Babe, this is a partnership isn’t it? Eryn asked. Taron nodded “Of course”. “So, you aren’t on your own, we are in this together, if I see you slacking I can give you a kick can’t I and vice versa” she smiled “Not that I expect to need to” she added as she watched Taron, pick up Draig to take him out in the garden as was there toilet training routine. Eryn followed Taron into the kitchen and began filling the dishwasher “ I mean look at you already, taking care of Draig” she grinned “ Draig’s an animal though, not a human being that relies on me, us for everything” he replied, clearing the ground and fussing Draig, giving him a treat for good behaviour “ You telling me you aren’t scared? He asked washing his hands and wrapping them around Eryn’s waist as she turned and leant against the sink “I’m bloody petrified, but I know I have you, Tina and Guy, Henny, Eve, all our friends. We aren’t alone in this and that is the most wonderful feeling” she ran her hand along his chin and cupped his jaw as she kissed him gently. “I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you and any or all the babies we have will have the best father possible” she told him.  
He closed his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder, silent dancing. Their moment was sadly stopped short as their was a knock on the door and Taron glanced at the clock “That’ll be guy” he said going to let him in “Do I not get even a small clue about all this? Eryn asked “nope” called Guy grinning. He was carrying a box “Shoes apparently” he said, and Taron directed him to his office. “Great, ready to go? He asked. Taron nodded grabbing his jacket and phone “How are things going down at wedding central? I feel bad, it being my wedding and I’m up here” Eryn said, “Well to be honest, there is probably no room for you anyway, it’s chocka block” Guy told her “Is Henny resting?” Eryn asked scowling “Maybe she ought to come back up here” Eryn mused “She was covered in ribbon and silk last time I saw her, but she hadn’t moved off the sofa” Guy laughed “Tina has her under control” Taron kissed Eryn goodbye and she stood in the hallway feeling dejected.


	78. Chapter 78

Chapter 78

It was finally here, the couple were overjoyed to wake up to Jill giving orders and a team of guys placing metal barriers all along the road and preventing photographers even with their long lenses getting a shot off of them. They donned baseball caps and sunglasses anyway for the short walk to the clearing for the rehearsal. Taron held Eryn’s hand in his, a grin firmly planted on his face, he would have skipped or run the distance to the clearing, the excitement creating nervous energy. Eryn on the other hand was doing all she could to breath calmly and stave off a panic attack, excited but concerned about getting everything right. Remembering her vows and all that had to happen before she would walk down the aisle.  
Arriving at the entrance to the clearing, They saw the sign post adorned with lights and flowers, it led them down a pathway that was previously a bough of green branches, it now became an archway of light, ribbon and flowers. Eryn gasped as she took in its beauty, she gripped Taron tighter, seeing his wide excited face, she beamed and skipped on the spot. He smiled at her and kissed her lightly. “Come on this is just the way in” he said. The couple walked along the path and were delighted as they came out into clearing. 

It was exactly as they had imagined, and emotions were already getting to the couple, In the clearing was the entire wedding party. Rosie and Mari ran over and Taron scooped up Mari. Eryn crouched down to Rosie “What do you think Ro? She asked “It’s so pretty like a fairyland” she smiled excitedly “So tomorrow we get to dress up and be fairies, are you excited? Eryn grimaced “Can I tell you a secret? She whispered into Rosie’s ear and she nodded Mari complained wanting in on the secret, so Eryn whispered into Mari’s ear too. Mari giggled “We can help you Eryn” she said and wriggled free of her brother. The two girls took one of Eryn’s hands each and dragged her down to the rest of the group.  
Taron laughed and followed behind. He scowled at Bleddyn as he approached “Still not forgiven me then? He asked “Nah, I will let it go, but wait til you get hitched mate” Taron warned and hugged Bleddyn “You got me good, I’ll give you that” he told him.  
Soon the group were called to order by Jill and the rehearsal began. Eryn was given an umbrella to stand in for her flowers and the group practiced her walking down the aisle. As Taron poke with the registrar the service was explained, and he was still talking when he saw Eryn walking toward him and swallowed hard. His mouth became dry as he saw her, knowing that this time tomorrow they would be doing this for real.

With rehearsals finished, The couple walked back to the house to get ready for the dinner. Eryn set some 70’s disco on the stereo turning it up full. Henny and Eryn enjoyed a glass of wine as they danced and prepared their hair and make-up, Henny groaned as she was given a non-alcohol version of the rose, she loved. Meanwhile Taron was showering and getting himself looking good upstairs. The girls were soon ready and enjoying their own impromptu dance party. When a dapper looking Taron appeared in a Tan and gold pinstripe suit and dark tan brogues. Eryn bit her lip when she saw him, he too had to squash his arousal as he took Eryn in. She was shining with excitement and joy. Her red dress hit all of her curves perfectly and as he watched her dancing and enjoying the music. He found himself shaking thoughts of where he’d like to see the dress end up.  
Looking at the clock, he picked up a beer from the fridge and joined in with the girls as they danced to smooth criminal and attempted the famous lean, falling and laughing hysterically. Soon, it was time to leave and the three of them piled into Henny’s beetle for the short journey. More to avoid the Paps than anything, though Eryn was pleased not to have to walk in her heels. Sat in the back squashed up to Taron, she kissed his cheek “You look very, nice” she smirked as her hand ran round his thigh “I was going to say the same about you” Taron replied, his breath sending a shiver up her neck and down her spine. “Shame we have to be somewhere” she whispered back. He took her hand and removed it from it’s torturous position and held it between both his. “I wish we were coming back to the same place after” he groaned. “Tradition Taron, you are not to see Eryn after midnight, its bad luck” Henny scolded him from the front, pulling into a parking space. “But Hen, remember luck is backward for me” Eryn smiled “No Ren, you are backward” she teased receiving a scowl from Eryn “Oooh scary” Henny continued. As the trio entered the restaurant and met the rest of the group, taking a complimentary drink and joining in with saying hello to the many family and friends that had been invited. “Eryn was kept busy as she and Taron were dragged around everyone.  
They were grateful to the maître de when he asked them to take their seats and starters came out. Eryn pulled hr chair close to Taron and squeezed his knee. She looked at him a little overwhelmed “You ok?” he asked, she nodded “If you start to feel bad just squeeze my knee like you did and I’ll get you out ok? He told her stroking the top of her hand. She nodded again and smiled gratefully at him. “It’s just obvious that there’s no one here for me that’s all” she whispered “I’m here for you” he said staring deeply into her eyes. She pecked him on the cheek and continued to eat, sipping the free wine and enjoying the liquid confidence she needed.

As the desserts were finished and coffee’s were being drunk. The speeches began, these were not long and well thought out speeches, they would be kept for tomorrow. These were more short little messages of thanks and support for all the work done to get to where they were. Soon the evening disappeared too, and the moment came for Taron and Eryn to head to their separate beds. They stood by his Mam and Guys garden gate, like a couple of courting teenagers who didn’t want to go home. Eryn’s arms draped around Taron’s neck under the moonlight, with the ocean waves rolling and thundering in the background was perfect in it’s romance and the couple kissed softly and romantically. Not wanting to let the other go, holding out for one more kiss.  
It took Henny and Tina physically removing Eryn, for the pair to finally say goodnight.

Eryn dropped onto the sofa in Tina’s lounge in a romantic daze “Look at you, makes me sick” Henny joked and received a sofa cushion to the head in reply. “I just love him Hen, can’t help it” she sighed “I know Babs” she smiled back. “Right everyone … bed, big day tomorrow” Tina declared “Yes Mam” Henny smiled and kissed Tina on the cheek, pulling Eryn up and toward the stairs. “Come of dozy” she called to Eryn. Tina turned the lights off and the three women went up to bed.  
At Taron’s, the men were in the garden drinking beer by the firepit and chilling. Playing with Draig, it was after midnight before they headed off to bed. Taron sat leaning against the headboard looking at the empty space and dialled Eryn, she answered sleepily “Did I wake you?” he whispered “No” she lied “You are going to give us bad luck Welsh Boi” she complained yawning loudly “I just needed to tell you, I love you Eryn, so much. Before all of the chaos kicks off tomorrow” he said softly “I love you too Taron” she replied “Go back to sleep sweetheart and I will see you tomorrow, how about we do something together? He suggested “I think I have plans actually tomorrow” She replied “Oh well, maybe another time, doing anything fun?” he asked “Yeah, I am starting the rest of my life, I’m marrying my best friend” she said softly “sounds good” he said sounding choked up. “Maybe I’ll see you there” he added “I will see you at 3:15pm Welsh Boi or else” Eryn smiled “I will be there Riley, waiting for you”.


	79. Chapter 79

Chapter 79  
It was 6am and Henny was struggling to get herself comfortable on the blow-up airbed in the lounge. She decided to give up with going back to sleep and went for a wee. She headed upstairs to see if Eryn was awake. Pushing the door open carefully, she stopped. The sun had already been up an hour or so, so the room though dimly lit was not difficult to view. What was apparent right from the start was that there were no human beings in the room, whatsoever. Henny screwed her face up, not understanding and began a general meander around the rooms, looking for the bride. When she had exhausted all possible places, she wondered if she maybe had snuck out to see Taron and ended up crashed out up there. Dialling the number on her mobile, she hummed as she made herself a coffee and contemplated getting in the shower before a line of people woke up needing access. “Voicemail Babs c’mon woman you know I hate these” she grumbled and slugged her coffee.  
As She had her shower Henny heard noises and the house began to wake up. She sighed as she dried and dressed in sweats. “So, thanks for disap…” Henny broke off when she bumped into Tina and not Eryn “You’re not Eryn” Henny said evenly “Nope, where is she? We need to work out who’s using the shower and when, Dolly will be here for the hair and make up soon” Tina finished.  
“Tina! I don’t want to panic you, But erm we have no bride, I can’t find Eryn anywhere and she is not answering her phone” Henny tried not to sound as frantic as she felt. The colour disappeared from Tina’s face momentarily before she composed herself “OK, let’s not panic, go over all the places you have checked, It’s likely she’d just had the collywobbles, a bit of nerves and gone for a walk or snuck up the road” Tina added trying to hide her own fears and feeling the fear of the last time she went missing returning to her. She shook thoughts about that being even a possibility. “I checked the house, obvs, then called her. I assumed the same, maybe she went for a walk, but I didn’t want to ask Taron if she was up there? He has enough on his mind” Henny began to hop from foot to foot nervously.  
Tina grabbed her car keys, “Eve” she yelled to her sister and filled her in on the situation. Eve agreeing to stay at the house and get the girls ready, promising to call if Eryn appeared. As Henny and Tina ran out the door and began a search of the area.  
Taron sat in the garden, chain smoking and apologising mentally to Eryn for each cigarette he finished. Guy joined him looking sleepy and handed him a mug of strong coffee, patting him on the back. “Ha thought you might fall of the waggon today” he said gesturing to the cigarettes “Yeah Eryn will kill me” he sighed smiling “I don’t need to ask how your doing anyway” Guy replied. “Anyway, Bled’s in the shower “I am going to make my famous fry up, so go get yourself sorted” he patted Taron’s knee and headed into the kitchen.  
Taron let the water run down his face as he rested his head on the wall. A smile creeping to his lips as he thought about Eryn and seeing her in all her finery. The butterflies were non-stop and he had to concentrate on the shower as nausea threatened him. He ran his hands through his wet hair spreading the shampoo suds and massaged them through. His mind reminding him of the feel of Eryn’s hands in his hair, He rinsed shaking the image as again his stomach threatened to have him throw up. He never felt nerves like it. As he stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around him, he saw spots and had to sit on the toilet for a few moments. Getting himself together he lathered the shave gel and began to run it around his jaw, looking at his tired eyes in the mirror. He thought of the first time he saw Eryn, She had looked beautiful, sipping her wine glass and checking her phone, her delicate fingers with their matching nail varnish, but signs of a biting habit made him smile. He began the process of shaving and did his best to shake the dizziness in his head, so as not to cut himself.  
He dressed in soft joggers and a vest, joining Bled and Guy in the garden for his Step-Dad’s famous and rightly so fry up. As Draig circled looking for scraps, that the men dropped for him accidentally on purpose.  
Back in the car, Henny and Tina pulled up at the bottom of the hill. “It’s literally the only place left? Tina said, They had exhausted the town and were beginning to seriously think Eryn had maybe left town. They rode the train up, willing it to go faster. As Henny tapped her nails on the glass, Tina continued to ring around. She had text Guy and told him to keep quiet, but he confirmed that no-one had seen her. The train rattled to a halt and the two women jumped out and up the steep steps to the exit. Practically, running they rounded the pathway and were gutted, to see no one around. To make sure they split up and decided to take a circuit around the top and then walk back down.  
When the two women came face to face again, they looked at each other the same worry and fear on their faces. They began the walk down the hill Tina became quiet as she contemplated how to tell her son the news. Henny too felt the anguish of what her friend had done and couldn’t help thinking she should have somehow known that this might happen. But as they turned the corner, a lone figure appeared. Standing on a bridge across part of the hill, was Eryn. She was stood looking down the hill at the town and completely in her own world.  
“Fucking Motherfucking Bitch whore from Motherfucking Hell” Henny screamed breaking Eryn from her thoughts. She cringed and shrank a little “Shit Hen” she replied softly “Where the actual…ARGHHHHHH” Henny screamed and stormed passed Eryn continuing down the hill. Eryn looked at Tina waiting for another attack, but instead the relief of finding her was too much and Tina simply burst into tears and hugged her “You miss are late” she told her. “I’m sorry Tina, I really am I” Tina relaxed letting her go “Talk to me on the way back, hang on Eryn, There is still going to be a wedding isn’t there? She asked not wanting to hear the answer. Eryn grinned and nodded back “Phew then yes lets get the hell home” Tina laughed.  
As they made their way down the trail, Eryn admitted that she’d come up early, unable to sleep and overwhelmed by all the emotion. She then put something in Tina’s hand. Tina looked at it dumbfounded. She looked at Eryn “Is this yours? She asked and Eryn smiled. Tina pulled hr into a hug as tears poured down both their faces. Right come on we really need to get a move on she said smiling.

Taron stood looking in the full-length mirror, His outfit was fitting and he laughed a little at it. The child in him loved it and he knew Eryn would too. He adjusted his hair again and took a deep breath. Arriving in the lounge the whole male contingent were now in the house and already downing the beers, he was handed a corona and took a glug to stable his nerves. “Looking mightily good mate” Bleddyn slapped Taron on the back as he took in his grooms mean all dressed up and ready. They looked brilliant and he was overwhelmed again with emotion, knowing the men in the room would have his back and were there for him. As the looked at the clock, Guy nodded “ It’s time” and the loudest of noises erupted as the group began the walk down to the clearing, If the Paps thought they’d get a shot of Taron they were far wrong, hidden in the middle of the tight group he was invisible and made it to the venue seamlessly.  
Finally, in the house and the hair and make-up chair, Eryn’s foot tapped like crazy as the rest of the house finished getting organised. Flowers were handed out, The older girls were all dressed, made up and hair done. They were set, Henny was running around ensuring all the evening outfits were set out ready for the change, Eve and Tina also ready were cajoling the smaller ones into the garden as the carriage arrived. Eryn and Henny slipped upstairs, fixing her boots on, Eryn stepped into her dress. Henny did it up and as Eryn turned she saw her best friend was in tears “You fucking scared me, I though you had thrown it all a fucking way” she moaned “ I am so sorry Hen” she told her, don’t wreck your make up sweetheart” she added.  
Anyway, no more disappearing acts from now on” she scolded Eryn. “Ok” she replied. Tina opened the door “Hen your needed with the girl’s downstairs” she said and Henny winked at Eryn as she left. “So, how you feeling?” Tina asked “Ready for anything now” Eryn smiled as Tina fixed the veil into Eryn’s hair. She had left Eryn’s bouquet on the bed and Handed her a blue box. “This was my great, Nain’s and I wanted you to have it” she said as Eryn opened the box, she saw a beautiful silver pendent. “Apparently it’s homemade by a family member, the spoon is welsh folk law, meant to be something a man gives the lady he loves” she told her. “Tina” was all Eryn managed before they were again hugging each other. Tina fixed he necklace around Eryn’s neck and nodded. “Let’s go” Eryn said taking a big breath she picked up her bouquet and began the walk out to the carriage.  
As she made her way out of the front door, the flashes of cameras began, and Eryn was glad she could look down and use the need to watch where she stepped as an excuse. As she reached the carriage, she saw Rosie and Mari sat already inside. She smiled looking at their excited and nervous faces. For a moment everything seemed to freeze, like time stopped.  
Eryn looked around her, The beautiful and magnificent horse that led her carriage and its glitter unicorn horn, its rainbow ribbons blew in the wind as if in slow motion. Mari, her big, bright eyes were wider than ever, it was like Eryn could see through her at the spectacle and felt like she was an 8-year-old her. She saw Rosie, nervously looking at her flower posy, her leg turned slightly on its side, a sign of her nerves. The little ones looked exactly how she wanted them too. She remembered her only bridesmaid duty and how as with everything the joy was taken out of it, she wanted to write that wrong by giving the girls as special a day as anyone. It was then she felt Guys hand in hers and turned smiling at him, Tina slightly behind as he helped her climb into the carriage and take her seat. She grabbed Rosie’s hand and squeezed it, she winked and made sure the girls were ok, she heard Mari telling her about the horse and the excited chatter, as if it were all a dream.  
Guy sat down next to Eryn “Ok? He asked and she nodded. Tina and Henny were stood framed in the carriage doorway “Thank you, I love you” Eryn mouthed to each as they shut the door. The flashes went made once again. The rest of the wedding party moved out of the way as the carriage began it’s journey. “Turning down the hill it would take a longer circuit around the block, allowing the guests and bridesmaids time to walk to the venue and get seated for their arrival.  
As they travelled down the promenade, people waved and took pictures. Mari and Rosie giggled and waved. Eryn took in the beauty of the coast and remembered the night on the Pier, that was still a blur, the picnic on the beach and seeing Taron distraught. Something had touched her in that moment, and she knew it now, his vulnerability and the strength of those around him, drew her heart closer to his. She remembered Kat throwing her sim card and how it brough Taron to her room. She thought of his kindness and how he seemed already to know her and everything she needed.  
As they passed the castle and up to the main road, Eryn joined in with the girls, checking in on them and laughing as the horse/ unicorn left a delightful and very un-rainbow trail behind them. Passing the train station, she remembered arriving in Aber, her life a mess and not seeing a way out of it. She thought of her return with Phil and shook them from her head, choosing instead to remember her time in the old flat, the way Taron had taken care of her and not once judged her.  
The carriage made it’s final few steps as it came to a stop and the camera’s again flashed like crazy, moving through security barriers and around a covered fence. They came to a final halt in front of the entrance to the clearing. Tina and Henny were already waiting and helped the little ones out, Eryn was about to move when Guy gave Tina a look and she shut the door. Guy turned and took Eryn’s hands in his.  
“Eryn I will save the proper sentimental stuff for the speeches, but before we do this I wanted to tell you that when I met Tina and Taron, I never ever thought of him as anything other than my son, he has grown to become such an incredible man and I am so proud of him, when he met you I saw him blossom and then Eryn when you took me into your heart and asked without saying anything for me to do it all again for you, I cannot tell you how much that meant. To be given a chance to be a father is so incredible, its precious and to continue to be one and add to my children the older I get, that is not something I ever expected and I want you to know that today, I am the proudest father to you too. Eryn you have come so far and dealt with so much more than anyone can imagine, give no thought today to anyone stupid enough to lose you from their lives. You are a blessing to anyone who gets to have you in their life” he said chasing a tear away. Eryn sat motionless, “I don’t know what to say” she said hugging him and kissing his cheek “Thank you” she whispered.  
Guy nodded and Henny, opened the door handing Eryn a tissue “wow, I hope this make-up is waterproof” she chuckled as first Guy and then helping her Eryn got out of the carriage and the girls made sure she was ready. Linking arms with Guy. They walked slowly down the path, Stopping behind the bridesmaids, Eryn heard the music begin and watched as Mari and Rosie began to step forward dropping petals from a basket they held jointly down the aisle. She straightened up as pair by pair the 3 bridesmaids and Henny began to walk.  
Suddenly she was there, the clearing looked like something from a delicately drawn vintage illustration, the aisle ahead of her drew her eyes and as she began to raise her eyes, she realised she was being lead by Guy, step by step she began the walk. Her nerves disappeared as she saw him. Smiling at her, his eyes welling up as he played with his hands nervously. She smiled back, nothing but love filling her whole being. It was if no one else was there, just the two of them. As she got to him, she handed her bouquet to Guy and grabbed Taron’s hands. Taking in his medieval / Robin hood esq attire she grinned.  
The registrar began and the couple turned to the front as she enquired who was giving away the bride, Guy beamed and stood proudly “I do” he told her. “Ladies, Gentlemen, Fairies, nymph and creatures of all realms, times and spaces” she began.


	80. Chapter 80

Chapter 80  
“Taron please repeat after me” The registrar began “I Taron David Egerton” she looked to Taron who was grateful to be holding Eryn’s hand as he took in a deep breath and began to repeat “I Taron David Egerton” He looked into Eryn’s eyes as he spoke, finding strength and courage in them, he settled into his words “Do hereby take thee Eryn Eliza Riley” he said more confidently feeling her calming presence the more he spoke “Do hereby take thee Eryn Eliza Riley” he smiled as he saw Eryn momentarily look to their hands, at hearing her full name and knowing the nickname Taron used “To be my lawful wedded wife” the registrar continued “To be my lawful wedded wife” he finished.  
“Taron if you could place the ring on Eryn’s finger and again after me” the registrar instructed Taron and he took the white and rose gold ring from Mari who Bleddyn had passed it to out of sight, Taron smiled at Mari who quickly ran back to her seat. Taron steadied his hands as he began “With this ring I seal my promise to you for forever and eternity” Smiling and focussing intently he slid the ring on Eryn’s finger. Eryn continued to smile though nerves of saying the words incorrectly ran through her. She looked at Taron reassuringly and, grinned as he succeeded on getting it all right,  
It was then Eryn’s turn, she was thankful to be able to gaze at Taron as she repeated the words, gliding the ring onto Taron’s finger. Her own shaking a little as she did so. The words they had said somehow hit her hard in her stomach and she had to swallow.  
“Now Taron and Eryn have written their own vows, so Taron if you would like to go ahead” The registrar stood back as Taron sucked in his lip and took a breath. Holding Eryn’s gaze, he visualised that there were just the two of them. He took another deep breath  
“I vow Eryn to always be the one to make your dreams become reality, To make dreams together and share all my hopes and wishes with you. I promise you that I will remind you of your beauty, your worth and your pure heart and soul. I will be the one to take away the pain of the past and help you to rid yourself of the damage done by those who were selfish and cruel, Who could not understand what a rare jewel that they were privileged to have. Riley, I assure you that whenever I am grumpy or angry, when I am irritate and annoy, I will take all that you give me for it. I promise to feed you Candy Floss, to dance without music and to sing you to sleep when your mind is overwhelming. I will be behind you when breath is hard to find and I will carry you when you find it hard to take even a single step. I will make you laugh and join in with your biggest aim, to bring joy to every day and everyone. I want you to understand that I see you, authentic and real. I know you, your heart, soul and I am forever entwined with you”  
He finished his voice cracking and eyes welling up. He coughed and composed himself. Eryn took hold again of his hands and held them tight. This time Eryn found herself feeling so sure of her words that she was able to put her nerves away for the time she spoke  
“My welsh Boi, I promise to always ensure the world has the opportunity to be blessed by your smile, your hearty laugh and vocal perfection. I promise to continue to grow with you, to overcome together the troubles and difficulties I have been left with. Taron you filled the hole in my soul, without me having time to show you it existed. You have given me something I craved a home and family. I promise to always share the morning sun and evening sunsets, with you, to be the loudest and proudest voice in support of you, I promise to continue to give myself entirely to you, To fall into the world’s only we know and understand together. I promise to be honest and true in everything we do together. I …”  
Before Eryn could finish the last line, she felt the room spin and go black. Taron caught her and sank to his knees as he looked around in panic, Guy and Tina, along with Henny came quickly to the couple “Eryn? Taron cried “Eryn can you hear me?  
Just a few moments later, she opened her eyes and saw a sea of faces and rolled her eyes, her face reddening. Taron asked everyone to move back and the crowd returned to their seats. He gently helped her up and to sit on a chair. “Sorry” she cringed looking at the floor. But Taron lifted her chin and shook his head “You ok? He asked as the registrar asked the band to play another hymn. Henny came rushing over a bottle of water in her hand and gave it to Eryn “You ok Babs? She muttered “Nothing hurt but my pride” she chuckled. The registrar came over and spoke to the couple. Once Eryn had a few sips of the cold water, she assured everyone she was ok to continue.  
“Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like you all to stand as I pronounce Eryn and Taron to be Bride and Groom. You may kiss the bride” She declared, and the room erupted in applause as Taron softly took Eryn’s face in his hand and pressed his lips to hers. It was all she could do to stop going again as she felt nothing but pure love in the kiss and felt like her heart would beat right out of her chest.  
She gripped his arm as they walked down the aisle and out into the holding area, where the carriage remained. “You sure that you’re ok? Taron asked concerned “You bugger with your fancy words” she batted him playfully as he wrapped his arms around her and stared at her smiling. “I just got overwhelmed, I’m fine, promise” she told him. But before they could have time to think, they were scooted off to have photographs. Eryn didn’t need Taron to make her laugh this time, she found it impossible to remove the smile from her face as she and Taron posed up a storm.  
Thankfully, it was soon time to get back into the now rejigged clearing for the wedding breakfast, as everyone came through the arch and made their way to the seats. The band played a mixture of songs. Eryn sat carefully down as Taron helped her with her dress. He took his moment and kissed her neck quickly “I love your dress, you look like a goddess” he said his eyes sparkling intensely as Eryn blushed “ You’ve got me now you know, you don’t need to butter me up anymore Welsh Boi” she replied. But he looked at her in such a way that she knew he meant every word and wasn’t listening to her avoidance tactics “Today you are not allowed to see yourself as anything but perfect, utterly beautiful” he told her. “ok” she said softly. “I will look through your eyes for you today” she nodded. “You don’t look to bad yourself you know” she added She kissed him on the cheek, lingering a little.  
Soon the food was coming out and the party got going, Supping champagne and enjoying the first proper food Eryn had seen that day.  
When the speeches were done, and the day became evening. The bridal party disappeared back to their respective staging areas to change. Eryn grabbed Taron’s arm before they separated again “make sure you pack that bow and arrow” she winked “You know for Hawaii” she added, He laughed and nodded.  
Back at the house, Eryn was able to breathe and pulled Tina and Henny into a group hug. She was of course already fairly tipsy. But as were they all. Henny undid her gown and helped her into the evening version and her angel winged shoes. Mari and Rosie had adored their wings and being fairies, but when they pulled on the lighter white dresses and winged pumps that matched Eryn’s they seemed to gain another level of energy. Eryn too seemed to relax into the evening and began dancing with the girls as Henny tried to fix her corset. The house party seemed to be in full swing as the boys arrived “I thought the party was up the road?” Guy asked as he and Taron walked in, he joined in the little dance party with Eryn, Mari and Rosie. “So, shall we stay here then? He asked “OMG” Eryn squealed “I forgot about your surprise evening entertainment.  
“Oh yes” Tina joined in “Come on it’s been killing me trying to work it out” she grabbed Guy and dragged him toward the door. Taron cringed at his mam and Stepdad’s mildly drunken behaviour. But he bent down, and Mari clambered on his back, following them out the door as Rosie and Eryn decided to walk like ladies, they pretended to dance like ballerinas up the road, then galloping. Halfway Mari and Rosie swapped over, and Eryn twirled Mari and skipped until they reached the entrance. The girls ran inside to see everyone.  
Taron took Eryn’s hand and they walked down the archway tunnel together stopping at the end for their announcement. “Ladies and Gentlemen… Mr and Mrs Egerton” It felt surreal, as the room filled with sound and smiling faces. The alter was now replaced by a professional stage and sound system. A buffet and bar were open, and the tables moved back to make space for a dance floor. The music began and evening guests started to arrive. Eryn held onto Taron for dear life as numerous ‘celeb’ friends and colleagues, began to appear in front of them to congratulate the couple. Matthew and Claudia, Dexter and his partner, Then of course Richard and Jamie arrived, Colin and Mark and finally Eryn was amazed to see Hugh and Deborra. She hugged Deb, who smiled and whispered “I knew you two were going to do this one day” she winked, and Eryn laughed. “Can we get a drink now? Eryn asked Taron as finally it seemed everyone had arrived, and she could take a breath. “Actually, babe I need 5 minutes” Taron said looking around anxiously. Eryn saw Guy nod and give Taron a thumbs up from across the room” she shook her head “I’ll go on my own, then shall I? she quipped “No” he smiled returning his gaze to her. He slipped his hand around her waist and they walked over and got a drink each.  
It was the first time they had had a minute together “Happy? he asked her, his face a dreamy smile “It’s been alright” she teased. “oh, I see, it’s like that huh” he added “So, how about we have our first dance? He asked and almost as if by magic the lights lowered a voice boomed from the stereo “Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to you all, tonight we are all here for one reason, To celebrate Eryn and Taron” a screen flickered to life and Eryn gasped holding Taron’s hand as Tina and Henny appeared and led them to the dance floor. Taron walking first moving to the centre of the dancefloor and under the spotlight they stood, and music began to play Take That “Greatest Day. Images of the couple began to show them new-born then toddlers. The room “ahh’ed” and laughed along with images of Taron as Robin hood aged 4, Eryn as a clam shell aged 6, pictures of holidays and then school continued. Both Taron and then Eryn on stage and then images of Eryn as a Take That fan, pictures of her among crowds of girls at airports and concerts. Then instead of continuing to cover both, the focus remained on Eryn as a fan as the images aged along with them and finally ended with an image taken a few years ago.  
As the song segued into “Get ready for it” images of Taron in Kingsman and with Take That showed, Then Taron with Gary Barlow and images of him and Hugh singing ‘Thrill me’ from Eddie the Eagle the house lights dropped, Stopping suddenly the voice returned over the speaker “Ladies and Gentlemen, Please give your best applause for the bride and groom’s first dance” The room applauded as “Why I can’t I wake up with you? A less well known Take That track began.  
Eryn looked confused, this wasn’t the song the couple had agreed on, but Taron smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist, she returned the smile a little suspiciously, placing her arms around his neck. She could barely breathe from the emotion she was feeling, Taron of course knew this song meant everything to her and for him to have switched the song, threatened to overwhelm her. She looked into his eyes and the room, the world, everything disappeared as the music took over.  
It was like she was floating as she moved with him in time, just as tears began to threaten to fall. A light lit up the archway entrance and the vocals in the song changed. Eryn turned.  
Stood under a spotlight was lead vocalist Gary, singing live and walking toward her. Taron felt Eryn’s body shudder and loosen in his arms as she processed what she was seeing. Her legs almost going from under her, he held her firmly. He watched her face, she barely moved. Her eyelashes fluttering at pace as tears trickled unnoticed down the sides of her cheeks. As Gary approached the couple, he smiled directly at Eryn shaking hands with Taron and hugging him, He leant in and kissed Eryn on the cheek and hugged her. Then he walked onto the stage to complete the song, Eryn silently followed him with her eyes. Taron stood behind her, her back to him now. It was as if she was shining, he saw the beauty in her and began to feel his own tears seeing her happier than anything. Sheer bliss.  
Eryn dropped her gaze momentarily and turned to face Taron, Placing her arms around his neck again, she looked at him like she had never done before. Still quaking he held her firmly. She didn’t need to say anything, her gratitude and pure adoration for him was simply said by her face and her decision, in that moment. To turn to him and hold him in her gaze, when he could feel the power of her connection to Gary. As the song ended, she pressed her lips to Taron’s closing her eyes gently. The moment was indescribable, as they kissed it felt as though there was no possible way to feel more content, more exhilarated or more love.  
“As Gary congratulated the happy couple, Eryn barely heard a word. She was utterly lost in Taron and he in her. Bringing the rest of Take That on stage and inviting the crowd to join the bride and groom on the dancefloor, too bypassed them. As the group went into a set of Eryn’s favourite songs, specifically chosen of course by Taron, Tina and Guy approached the couple finally breaking the trance they had fallen into. Eryn throwing her arms around Tina who was also crying “That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, you two” she mumbled as she grabbed Taron and squeezed him, Eryn hugged Guy “ Thank you for helping him arrange this, I, I “ Eryn tried but was unable to speak. “He did, well didn’t he? Guy grinned. Eryn looked up at Taron, who was shaking a little “Yes, he did” she smiled, shaking off the tears.  
Eryn leant her head on Taron’s shoulder as they turned back to watch the band, he stood behind Eryn, his arms around her waist and his chin on her shoulder as the sang and danced along.  
She was in her element as Henny, appeared looking as dumbstruck as Eryn. Turning to her fellow fan, the two screamed and hugged each other, Making Taron fall back laughing hard. As he imagined the pair as teens running around the country and with posters covering their walls. It was great as Henny was a Robbie devotee, but Mark came a very close second. The girls giggled and chatted as Eryn pushed Henny closer to where Mark was singing, As Henny reddened and became as still and catatonic as Eryn had, laughing and loving her friends happiness as much as she had her own.  
She returned to Taron, “You have made both our dreams come true tonight, look at her” she beamed as they watched Henny in awe of her idol. “So, this was your big surprise” Eryn said looking at him, He grinned “I had the idea when you had that freak out over his number being in my phone” he admitted. “I love you so much Welsh Boi” she told him “I love you too Mrs Egerton” he grinned “I think I like that” she admitted. The band began their last number, When Taron took Eryn’s hand firmly and began to pull her to the edge of the stage, before she knew what he was doing he was walking up the steps and on to it. Gary smiled as someone thrust a microphone into Eryn’s hand. She looked at Taron and saw he too was holding one.  
Eryn’s breathing escalated at a rate of knots as panic took over, But Gary’s eyes met hers as he took her hand and walked her on to the stage. He smiled and kissed her cheek whispering “You’ll be fine” she blinked and looked at Taron. The music began to “Rule the World” as Taron began to sing the first verse. Eryn’s lip quivered, but as his voice travelled across the stage. The world and crowd disappeared. Eryn was back in the lounge with Taron, singing along to the track, just them. Gary quietly sang behind Eryn and intonated for her to sing. She opened her mouth and sang, she focussed on Taron and soon she was flying, she was tripping, she was gone on cloud 9.  
The band joined in at some point, but Eryn and Taron were oblivious, and they simply sang to each other. As the song ended and the room went utterly crazy. Gary hugged her and congratulated her on her vocals. Mark stepped forward and said thank you and introduced the next act as everyone moved off stage, as they pooled in a group off the back of the stage. Music played on the stage and a local band began.  
Eryn simply gripped Taron’s hand in a daze. “Hi” was all Eryn managed when she came face to face with Gary “I am not sure if I am dreaming right now” she murmured. “I imagine it’s all pretty surreal Eryn, But I am really so happy to meet you, When Taron told me about you and what he wanted to do, I couldn’t think of anything more wonderful, I mean I must admit I’m gutted I have been traded in for a younger model” he joked and Eryn chuckled “I guess I got fed up waiting” she quipped making Gary grin too, Soon the other band members joined the group and each gave Eryn and Taron a hug and chatted. “Mark” Taron gestured, “You and I have one more job,” Taron said looking at Eryn “oh yes” Mark replied “So, where is this Henny? He asked, making Eryn gasp.  
Following Mark and Taron, Howard, Gary and Eryn watched as Mark introduced himself to Henny. Stood next to Gary, Eryn shook her head inwardly unable to believe what this day had brung. She snuck a glance at him and swallowed hard. So many years she had loved and wanted the man she stood next to. But turning to see Taron watching Henny and Mark, she felt such satisfaction seeing the man she was going to spend her future with and how amazing he was not only with her but her best friend. Filled her heart with such pure joy. She walked over and hugged Henny, who was quieter than anyone had ever seen her.  
Soon the party was in full swing. The Take That boys stayed for a while before heading out and soon, it was time to say goodnight. Guy came over with a sleeping Mari on his shoulder, followed by Rosie who looked thoroughly exhausted. Tina and Eve giggled like schoolgirls, having enjoyed letting their hair down. “That Gary was a bit of a hottie wasn’t he Eve” she grinned “I wouldn’t say no to a bit of that” Tina added “Mam! Taron groaned at the giddy state of them. Then as the couple looked for Henny, they were told that she had apparently made a sly exit and that Bleddyn seemed to have disappeared about the same time. Eryn laughed “Best Man and Maid of honour, that’s brilliant” she laughed.  
Having said their goodbyes, they walked the length of the arch for the last time. Taron’s van was parked ready, covered in shaving foam and tin cans tied to the bumpers. He groaned but laughed as he helped Eryn get in with her dress. It was tradition after all. He ran around to the driver side, jumping in and smiling at Eryn, they headed off out of the gates.


	81. Chapter 81

Chapter 81  
As the van pulled out the camera flashes went off blinding Eryn and Taron, Thankfully security guided Taron safely out and onto the main road. After a short while Eryn realised, she had no idea where they were going. “Taron where are we sleeping tonight? Taron laughed “Well we never got round to making that decision so I think it was just assumed we would stay at home, but I had an idea” he said “More surprises Welsh Boi” she smiled. It was a short journey, and as they pulled along a long driveway and into a wooded area. After a fair way, they finally pulled up by a wooden shed. The sigh lightly lit read “Treehouse Escapes” and Eryn watched Taron as he climbed out of the Van and walked over to the shed. Looking around her, she couldn’t see anything but trees and dirt tracks leading in three directions.  
She had had a discussion with Taron, just recently about glamping and how she loved the idea of the tree house pods, she’d seen in a magazine. It amazed her that he clearly had made a mental note and come up with this. He returned shortly a piece of paper and key in his hand. “Ok, come on Tinkerbell” he said as he started the van and handed Eryn the piece of paper, which turned out to be a map, number 14 was circled and so she guided Taron. They had to navigate some pretty hairy places, the track being barely lit. But soon they came up to a field and saw the treehouse adorned with lights and looking like something from The Hobbit or Mid-summer nights dream.  
Eryn sat still, She wearing her heels and gown, completely impractically dressed for the place. She was thankful that Henny had come up with the idea of converse, she pulled the bag from the back and changed. Sighing dramatically at the relief to remove the stunning but not exactly comfortable wedding shoes. Taron chuckled lightly seeing the combination of rainbow gown and rainbow souled converse. She jumped out and hugged Taron, hanging her arms on his neck she kissed him. “You are on a roll, today aren’t you? She smiled “So, what are we waiting for? She asked grabbing his hand the pulled him running up to the treehouse and up the staircase.  
It was exactly how she imagined, the view spectacular, The sky a blanket of black velvet, littered with stunningly bright constellations, The treehouse was miles away from anyone or anything else. It was an impeccable retreat away from the press and the faultless romance of it all, made it ideal as a wedding night stay over location.  
As they stood on the deck, Taron wrapped his arms around her waist, Eryn turned to Taron “I cannot believe this day” she said looking out over the forest and listening to the soft breeze as it lightly blew her hair and chilled them. Seeing her shiver, Taron ran his hands up her arms, “Come on let’s see inside” he said as he unlocked the door. It was a beautiful little rustic place, a gorgeous seated area, that led to a bright and pretty double bedroom, with bath and view out over the fields and forest.  
Eryn dropped backward onto the bed “Ahhhhhh” she keened and closed her eyes. Her eyes closed she felt Taron kneel on the bed and hover over her, his lips connecting with the soft skin on her neck and shoulder blades, exposed by her gown. She felt the light sucking sensation and whimpered at his touch. Hearing her turned him on and his lips met hers gratified at last to do so, having wanting to kiss her so many times in this way throughout the day, but being prevented or having his kisses interrupted. Eryn lay back and indulged in his attention as their lips converged and she felt the familiar warmth and heat burning in her.  
“Are you going to go get the bag in before we get into all this? Eryn asked smiling. Taron groaned audibly “Really? he pouted “I’ll have you know I was having a moment there? He winked. But standing up he took her hands and pulled her to standing too. “Ok, How about I get the bags so you can get out of the dress” he offered. “aww I like my dress” it was now Eryn who pouted. “Ok, keep it on, I can work around it? Taron added as he made his way out to the van. Eryn laughed as she quickly removed the skirt section of her dress, revealing the bodice and thong she had underneath, along with suspenders and stockings.  
She wandered into the lounge area and began looking in the cupboards, she poured herself a glass of water. On the counter was a beautiful welcome hamper including champagne, strawberries and chocolates. Looking at the strawberries she got an idea stood against the counter. Hearing Taron return and in the bedroom. She called out to him to come into the kitchen/lounge area. “What’s up” he said stopping in his tracks as he took in the scene. Eryn had was stood leaning against the counter, seductively. “I need your help” she told him playfully. Taron could tell that Eryn was up to something and dressed as she now was, he knew it was likely to involve something mischievous. “What can I do? he said moving slowly toward her “Well you see I keep dropping things like this? She said dropping a strawberry onto the floor, bending over to highlight her perfectly round rear end, exposed by the lack of anything but a thin strip of fabric.  
Taron swallowed hard and moved forward as Eryn picked the strawberry up and placed it erotically into her mouth, biting it and swallowing the main section. As Taron reached forward to touch her, Eryn held out her hand and stopped him “It’s not just that, I can’t reach up here either?” she said having placed the chocolates on a high shelf, She had to stretch her body up and stand on tip toes, as she did so the corset became unable to move with her to cover her breasts and they became exposed. Eryn turned and bit her lip “It’s a real problem” she replied coyly.  
Taron felt his breathing heavy and already deeply aroused, by the temptation and being unable to get what he wanted. Moaned deeply as he watched her, it turned him on that she knew exactly what she was doing to him and that she was getting off on seeing him turned on too. She took a strawberry and pulled the leaves off it she placed it in her mouth and stepping to him she lant forward so he could take it with his teeth, He did exactly that, one hand slipping round her waist and pressing her to him as he bit the end off and swallowed it. She kissed him hard as she walked them both back against the counter, her tongue finding his she urged him to her and ran her hands up his back, her nails sinking into his skin as she lifted herself on to the countertop and opened her legs. Taron grabbed her backside and slid the thong down her legs, allowing him to see her wetness, and dropping his head he kissed the inside of her thighs, slowly and teasingly. His hands running up her legs, he took his time before reaching and running his tongue into her folds, finding her clit, he teased her. Her hands found his head and ran through his hair, her nails grazing through sending shivers down his spine. Eryn arched her back as his tongue dipping into her and pressed against her G-spot, Exhibiting groans and whimpers from her as he increased pressure. Her legs tightened around him as she began to move with him, Slipping his fingers inside one and then two, to replace his tongue made her gasp “Fuck” her hips rutting against him as she came. Taron was taken aback as liquid shot out as she growled his name.  
He moved up her body, reaching around the bodice he tried to removed it “How do I get this thing off you? He complained, fiddling with it. Eventually Eryn had to turn around so he could unclasp the row of hooks. Throwing the bodice across the room “That can fuck off” he cried flinging it. His hands grabbed her breasts, squeezing and caressing them. He rammed his lips into hers as she pulled at his hair, wrenching it back “Jesus Eryn, I need to be in you so fucking badly” he growled her legs pulling him into her, she crossed her feet behind him and felt his cock pressing against her. He took hold of it and pushed himself in her, As she bit her bottom lip, and whimpered.  
Twisting her nipples, he began to thrust at with firm determination. Pounding into her, she banged her head on the wall, stopping momentarily out of concern “Don’t fucking stop now” Eryn cried “Never mind the wall”. Taron was unsure, but returned to his previous pace, Eryn placed a hand behind her head as he continued to knock her head into the wall, with each thrust, Soon though it was clear it was putting him off. He pulled out and Eryn jumped down off the side, moving to the coach she bent over the back as he pressed into her from behind. Holding on to her hips, he was able now to gain more momentum and as she gripped the seating, she felt him deeper than ever coming hard again, she groaned.  
Pulling out once, more Eryn turned around and taking Taron by the hand walked him round to the chair and pushed him into it, dropping between his legs, She ran her hand down his cock and slipped it into her mouth. Sucking him hard and using her tongue expertly. It wasn’t long before she felt him twitch and she swallowed the warm liquid. Kissing his inner thighs, she climbed onto his lap and kissed him gently. His arms wrapped around her as he returned the kiss. She rested her head on his shoulder and gazed up at him, not able to believe the day’s events or that she was actually married to the man she was with. She smiled dreamily at him and he at her. “That was incredible” he breathed “you were just, wow. How are you so sexy and not even know it Riley” he smiled “Not Riley anymore Welsh Boi” she reminded him “Mrs Egerton” he returned. “I have to get used to that, Mrs Egerton is my Mam, It’s kind of weird right now calling you that” he added.  
Eryn shook her head cringing, “Eww yeah ok, well I need a new nickname then” she told him “How about goddess of mine” Taron asked making Eryn burst into laughter “Not pithy enough” she chuckled “Ok, hmmm I’ll have to think on it” he sighed happily. “Let’s go to bed, get snuggly” he offered, and Eryn got up, taking Taron’s hand they walked into the bedroom and climbed into the bed together, snuggling into her spot on his chest and running her fingers into his chest hair as usual. He played and twisted her hair, pulling the flowers and bobby pins out as he went and placing them on the side table.  
“I love you Mr Egerton” Eryn said sleepily, her eyes heavy and heart full, “I love you Mrs Egerton Jnr” he replied. Eryn burst into laughter “jnr? she asked “It’s the best I can manage right now, I am utterly shattered, today was insanely perfect, but exhausting” he admitted. Eryn looked up at him and their eyes met. “It was perfect, Taron you will never know what I feel in here today, I just can’t explain it” she said her eyes watering. Taron nodded “I see it baby, in your eyes, in your face and smile” he told her “ I just cannot believe that I went to all that trouble getting Gary Barlow to sing to you and you went and you chose to dance with me, looking at me instead?  
“I told you, Gary isn’t my number one man anymore” she grinned back. “It was a really special moment though I …” she shook her head “When I try and say it in my head, by brain refuses to believe it happened, let alone let me say it out loud” she laughed “What that you got to not only be serenaded by the one and only GB, The Captain, but you got to sing with him too” he beamed “You won’t believe it baby, But the best part was singing with you and ssh but if I had to choose, I’d listen to you sing all day long” she found herself blushing. Taron frowned at her, wondering if it was a joke. When he realised, she was telling the truth, he kissed her pressing his lips against her lingering for what felt like hours, he closed his eyes. He knew what Gary meant to Eryn and what it meant for her to say what she was. He felt giddy with the love she was giving him.  
As they ended the kiss and resumed their snuggled position, they sighed in unison, chuckling a little. Laying quietly together they were soon drifting off to sleep.  
Next morning the sun, woke the couple and they lay in each other arms quietly as they contemplated the journey they were now going to be doing. They were leaving the van behind and catching the train to Birmingham, before the flights that would eventually bring them to their Hawaiian resort. Eryn checked her phone and saw a number of texts from Henny. It seemed that she and Bleddyn had had a very successful evening that led to her spending the night and Eryn was dying to know more. Bleddyn had also text Taron and the couple shared each other’s gossip, loving the fact they had both sides.  
They ate breakfast and having checked in with everyone. Turned off their phones, they had warned all around them that this was their honeymoon, so no one was going to disturb them. Tina had the resort details for emergencies. But this two-week trip was them and them alone.  
Taron was a little bit concerned about catching the train, but they had already planned to take it from the next stop on from Aber, in case any journo’s were still hanging around. It being less obvious and of course most would have got on at Aber and be sat on the train. Guy, Tina and the girls came to the station to say goodbye and so Guy could drive the van back, while Tina took the girls in their car. Hugging everyone, they waved from the first-class section and settled in the end seats, away from everyone else. Soon the rhythm of the train and the exhaustion from the previous day, had Eryn fall asleep on Taron’s shoulder.  
Once the train got going the staff brought free food and drink around, they offered snacks and the daily papers. Interested to see if the wedding was already in, Taron chose a daily and two coffees for Eryn and he. He was glad to see they weren’t on the front page, but as he went to turn the page, he saw that they had, a small square at the bottom directed you to the full article inside. Taron flicked through stopping at the centre spread. There it was Rocketing Down the Aisle, It read. He continued stopping as he took in the words, he looked to Eryn. His face turning white “Rocketman Star Taron Egerton and newly pregnant wife Eryn” it clearly said below. Shaking his head “Bloody tabloids and their fake news” he mused. But picking up his phone he googled his name. The page filled with new stories all with the same hot new gossip, “Taron Egerton’s secret pregnancy news” read one and “Patter of tiny rocket boots for Welsh star” read another. Taron began to read some of articles. What were they all on about” he thought. Laughing he decided that someone had set them all up.  
He drank his coffee and lightly stroked Eryn’s arm so she could drink hers. She stretched and yawned. “Ooh yes lovely” she smiled seeing the coffee. “I need a wee first” she told Taron. He groaned as he got up to let her out. She kissed him on the cheek and headed to the toilet. Sitting back down, his foot caught in the strap of her bag, “Stupid thing” he muttered. In an attempt to free himself the bag opened and out cascaded all the contents on to the floor and seat. “Shit” he groaned and began to scoop things back in, when he stopped. Something in the mess caught his eye. He almost didn’t want to look at it but turned it over on the seat where it had landed. As he did, he sighed. It was right there staring back at him, ‘Pregnant’ the screen stated clear as day 2-3weeks.


	82. Chapter 82

Chapter 82  
Taron face the window as the world disappeared passed. Having pocketed the pregnancy test, he tried to work it all out. He left Eryn’s bag on her seat and when she returned, she saw he had moved over to the window and was closing his eyes. Assuming he was tired, She moved her bag off the chair and back onto the floor and sat, She sipped her coffee and leant against Taron’s arm, slipping her hand in his.  
As the train finally approached Birmingham, Eryn opened her eyes. Stretching she leant down and picked up her bag, standing she smiled at Taron. He looked worn out and when he didn’t return her smile, she assumed he was just concentrating on the travel arrangements. Taron took the two large suitcases and found a trolley, he heaved them on to it and then plonked his rucksack on top as Eryn chucked her handbag in the smaller tray at the top of the trolley.  
“You ok? She asked softly taking in how quiet he had become; she linked her arm around his. He nodded “Just tired” he said softly. “Well we can sleep properly on the plane” she told him.  
Eryn wasn’t sure but something was off about him, she dismissed it after all he had said he was ok, and he did look tired. She was pretty exhausted the days previous events catching up with her. She also found herself feeling nauseous and that dizziness faint feeling threatened her every so often. Once they had checked into the lounge, they found a spot in a corner and Taron went to get them food and drink. Eryn watched him as he walked away, she couldn’t wait to tell him her news, but had planned it all out perfectly for the flight.  
Taron walked up to the bar area and began chatting to the girls behind the counter. To Eryn’s astonishment she heard him laughing loudly and as she turned to look, she saw what she could only describe as him flirting with the lithe, blonde and beautifully tanned stewardesses. One obviously had recognised him. He seemed to be loving the attention and his arm was placed dangerously close to one particular ladies backside. She saw him grinning and fawning over them. More strange were the odd glances at her he gave, as if he wanted her to react to what he was doing.  
Eryn turned to her phone and responded to a message from Henny, brushing the weird interlude off. She chatted about Henny’s night with Bleddyn and what appeared to be a budding romance. She smiled, pleased for her friend. She tried to avoid thinking about the whole mess that might happen if Henny was pregnant now, and what Bled might think of it all. She really had to tell Taron as soon as they were settled on the flight. Then she must speak to Henny too.  
Taron returned and put an orange juice in front of Eryn. His demeanour changing from the charismatic charmer he had projected to the stewardesses. To a much more quiet and solemn one. Eryn sipped her drink and listened out for the flight to be called. As she did, she felt a wave of sickness. Getting up without a word, she headed to the toilet and thankfully got into a cubicle in time to see her breakfast return.  
Sweating and feeling dazed, she sat on the cold floor of the toilets, as she waited for each new round of vomiting. Feeling awful, she finally stopped being sick and managed to lean on the toilet sinks, splashing cold water onto her face, she looked at her reflection, she was very pale and a little green looking. But she gathered herself together, having left without explanation. She was worried Taron would be concerned.  
As she came out though, he was stood by the gate with their bags. “We need to go” he said. Turning toward the way onto the plane. Eryn tried to catch him up, but he was walking ever so slightly too fast. The first-class stewardess was very polite and directed the couple to their seats. As they found them, Taron threw his rucksack onto the window seat and said he was going to the loo. Eryn being cheeky, took advantage of his absence and snuck in stealing the window seat. She got herself comfortable and opened her bag, looking for the pregnancy test. Her idea was to surprise him with it once the lights went down. But as she rooted in the bag, she couldn’t find it.  
Before she could continue to search Taron returned, She waited to see his reaction to her seat theft. But was disappointed when he simply took out his phone and headphones, then put his bag in the compartment and sat in the aisle seat, “Baby are you sure that you’re ok? Eryn asked “Why shouldn’t I be? He asked evenly shaking his head and picking up his book. He tucked it down the side of his seat. “Taron you’ve hardly spoken to me since the train” she said. “Sorry” he said smiling slightly.  
Soon the aeroplane taxied down the runway, Eryn grabbed Taron’s hand although it was exciting, she wanted to feel his support. He squeezed her hand reassuringly. Once the plane levelled out and the seatbelt signs lit, they both unclipped theirs and the stewardess approached introducing herself as Janie, she was a young and thickly made up woman in her 30’s. She immediately recognised Taron and asked for a selfie and an autograph. While normally Taron wouldn’t indulge this type of thing, when he was on personal time. But he seemed to be loving every minute, grinning broadly and laughing at all the hideous jokes Janie came out with.  
Eryn watched on and wondered if she had married an imposter. The couple were offered champagne to celebrate their honeymoon “No Janie, thanks but Eryn can’t, can you babe? he said snidely. Causing Eryn to scowl “I can’t? she questioned “Well, I thought you were watching your calories and all that” he quipped.  
Eryn stared at Taron, the stewardess looked a little embarrassed and made a polite excuse to leave. As Taron sat back in his chair and pulled out his book as if he hadn’t said a word. Eryn looked out of the window, she thought about what Taron had said, it hurt. He knew her feelings about her looks and couldn’t understand how he thought that the comment was funny. “Come on Eryn it was just a joke” he said. “You’re being a prick Taron, I don’t know why but stop it, enough” Eryn warned him.  
She pulled the divider between the sections and reclined her seat; she was feeling sick again and dizzy. Her eyes closing, she couldn’t help but feel sad, this was not how she imagined this flight to go.  
She refused the meal when it was brought around and accepted a bottle of water. “Are you feeling sick, baby? Taron asked her simply. She nodded choosing to close her eyes again and not look at him. He seethed, trying to read his book, all he could think about was how mad he was. Eryn pulled her handbag onto her lap, she had decided he didn’t deserve the special treatment and looked inside for the pregnancy test, she was sure she put it in there. She became frantic, as she thought about where it could have gone.  
“Lost something? Taron asked Eryn looked at him and all the pieces fell into place. “No, just looking for some gum” she replied, her eyes narrowing. Knowing instinctively what all this shitty behaviour was about now. If Taron was going to ruin their honeymoon by playing games, then why not join in.  
The divider remained raised throughout the entire flight as both Eryn and Taron fell asleep. As he lay staring at the plastic slider, he felt sad. He couldn’t understand why she had done it, what was she thinking. It hurt that she had chosen not to take the test together. He pulled it from his pocket and under the sheet, looked at it. He had it in his head, how they would do it, she would bring the test to him and they’d wait for the result together. He read the words over and over.  
As the flight landed, the couple silently disembarked, they were met by a greeting party that laid lei’s or traditional flowers around their necks, they smiled and played along. As they were met by a limousine, they climbed in the back.  
Eryn’s eyes remained fixed on the view from the window as was Taron’s. Arriving at the resort, Eryn stepped out of the car and sighed. It was beautiful, but again nausea took over and she made a quick move toward the reception, following the signs to the bathroom she threw up before she could get to the sinks. Closing her eyes, she groaned. Thankfully, she had missed herself, but as she cleaned her face and hands she reddened with embarrassment. Emerging from the toilets, she saw Taron waiting with a room key. He looked glum and she walked over to him “Ready” he asked simply, and Eryn nodded, The hotel porter showed them to their suite overlooking the ocean. It was stunning and Taron tipped the porter, thanking him as he shut the door.  
Eryn walked out of the double door and stood looking out over Hawaii. She should be happier than anything in this moment, she had dreamed of visiting Maui and here he was, with her new husband and a baby on the way. Instead, she was sad and confused. She should have been stood with Taron’s arms around her, feeling his closeness and warmth. But as she turned around, he was gone. She was alone.  
Eryn unpacked quietly and showered, she got into her floaty new night dress, she bought especially. Sitting on the end of the huge bed, exhausted she had no idea where Taron was. She couldn’t believe he was behaving like he was. She felt angry, frustrated tears run down her cheeks, and hated that she felt so bad. This was meant to be something good. She didn’t understand it.  
Soon, she decided enough was enough and went to find him. When she did, he was sat at the edge of the pool, his legs in the water. He was staring out at the ocean. She walked up to him, “I know you know Taron” she said her lip quivering. But Taron didn’t respond. “What is this? Why are you doing this? I thought you’d be fucking happy, It’s not fair  
“fair” he turned “Are you kidding me? You are talking about fucking fair? You think it’s fair that I find out your fucking pregnant by reading it in the fucking newspapers” he spat. Eryn stepped back “Newspapers? She said confused “No you are going to pretend you didn’t tell them, are you? “or was it someone else? Exactly how many people knew before me? “Where on the fucking list was I even? I mean Henny I guess came before me and probably old Pete from the fucking fishmongers” he shouted. Eryn had never seen Taron so nasty and it triggered every defence mechanism. “You think I told the motherfucking press, Jesus Taron you are something else, why they bloody hell would I do that? “Who knows maybe this was your plan all along eh, the big old celebrity wedding, rich and famous” he yelled viciously. “Oh yeah, because that’s me that is, you clearly don’t fucking know me at all, if you could even think I would do that” she gave Taron a hurt filled glare.  
“You know what seems I don’t know you either, or maybe the mask is slipping” she added “ For your information, one other person know and that’s your Mam, because I needed to explain where I had gone yesterday morning” she told him “ Right , well there you go, Are you saying my Mam told the press are you? He shook his head, his face red with fury. “You know it’s interesting Taron, that your mam is above suspicion, but not me, says so much to me that” she told him.  
Suddenly, She felt the world closing in. The last thing she remembered was seeing Taron’s face full of hurt and anger, knowing it was directed at her killed her. When she opened her eyes, she was in bed, alone. Her phone was lit up with messages from everyone. She saw Henny had been calling and opened the voicemail to hear her message.  
“Eryn, I can’t believe this, I can’t talk to you right now. Please do not call me I can’t deal with it. How could you not tell me? After everything and with all that we are mean to be doing, you let me find out by reading a fucking paper. You and I are broken Eryn. By the way you’re not the only pregnant one, my test was positive”


	83. Chapter 83

It was late, the sun was in fact coming up on the horizon as Eryn sat hugging her knees staring blank faced into the ocean. She was hurt and angry, How could the two people she loved in the whole world not know her? after all the years of friendship. This felt like such a betrayal and Taron too. How could they gang up on her?  
Taron sat sipping his beer as he built up his courage to call his Mam. He had promised to check in and knew he’d never cover up the sound of his voice or how he was. As good an actor as he was, he knew his Mam would see through it all. “Hey Mam” he said evenly “Well that’s not the sound of someone enjoying their honeymoon” she replied “I know” he sighed “What’s happened? I thought I was going to be hearing some exciting news and a overjoyed son” she didn’t sound as sympathetic as Taron had hoped “Mam, I know you know already, you knew before me for gods sakes” he huffed “Taron, darling please tell me the reason for your tone, isn’t something to do with that? She warned.  
Taron’s silence gave her the answer “Taron David Egerton” she exclaimed “Are you telling me, after all that trouble, everything that you and Eryn have been through, after believing your chance to have your own baby was gone, all that stuff about wanting Eryn to be pregnant…” Taron cowered a little as he heard the rumblings of a proper telling off coming his way “Taron” she said quietly “Taron, Eryn is having your baby” she said simply “ and she didn’t bother to tell me she suspected, did the test on her own, didn’t bother to involve me, then tells you and some stupid journalist first, so I find out in the papers” he growled “Oh Taron” Tina sighed “ You are so sensitive about what some stupid London rag does, You really think it was her who tipped them off? if they were even tipped off, they could have taken a punt” Taron could see her head shaking.  
“Taron, She had to tell me, she was missing when we all got up and Henny was going crazy thinking, she had jilted you, I was driving around Aber in a frenzy looking for her” she told him “She ran off?” he said sounding hurt and shocked “Taron stop and let me finish” she warned him. “You never wait to get all the facts” she chided him “She didn’t run off, she went to get more pregnancy tests to back up the one, she stole out of Henny’s bag of stuff” Tina went on to explain how Eryn, not able to sleep and bored decided to play with the test and peed on it, not expecting what came up. She continued to tell him what Eryn had told her.  
“I just looked at the stick and was blindsided Tina” Eryn told her as they watched their footing on the gravel path. The hill was pretty steep in places and Tina began to wonder if Eryn in her condition ought to be walking it, but as it was downhill, and they were already ¾ down it felt safer to continue than turn around and climb up. “When I had bought these” she said, showing Tina the 4 sticks in her hand. All showed the same ‘pregnant’ and 1-2weeks. “I wanted to be somewhere that made me happy and alone to re-test, this seemed perfect as I couldn’t go to the house or back to yours. I wanted to call Taron, to take the test again” she said dropping her head “But what I thought if the first had been a fluke, he would be so gutted and I couldn’t do that to him, not today” she sighed. “so, I went in the café and I peed on each one, then I came and waited on the bench, watching the ocean.  
The little bridge is my favourite spot, I literally just read them, when you two came around the corner, I dropped one off the bridge, there were 5” she laughed a little. Tina smiled happily, “I don’t want you to think I was having cold feet Tina, I would never, I love Taron so much, I can’t explain it” she said as tears started to trickle from her eyes. The two women stopped, and Tina held Eryn “Eryn, I can’t believe it, this is so perfect” Tina smiled “So, I guess seeing as we caught you in the act of finding out yourself, that Taron is still in the dark? She asked “Yeah, I have an idea about that though, it will have to wait until the flight, because I want it to be just two of us” she explained.  
“Mam, why do I do this? He said quietly “Because you are like a bull, you see a red flag and off you go full pelt, then it turns out there was no red flag” she grumbled “What about the press? Mam if only you and Eryn knew, and I know you didn’t do it” he huffed again “How do you know I didn’t? Taron was perplexed, he couldn’t believe his ears “Mam? No, I can’t believe” he stuttered “I didn’t” she replied, and Taron felt his heart beating like crazy. “Mam” he groaned.  
“Taron, really, if it’s that impossible for me to have done it, then how the hell did you get it into your head Eryn could? Taron slumped in his chair; he knew she was completely right. What was he thinking? “Then how? He began but Tina stopped him “Firstly, how do you even know they knew? Since when did those red top rags ever write anything true? You of all people ought to know this Taron” she huffed. Tina had boycotted The Sun newspaper like some of the country and in even more in Liverpool, where Tina and Taron were born, after the diabolical articles when the Hillsborough disaster occurred. growing up Taron knew this and her dislike of the gutter press.  
“I did tell Guy, Taron” so maybe someone over-heard “But what does it matter? Taron you are going to be a father, why on earth are you not celebrating and looking after that wife and baby of yours? what do you think this stress is doing to them? Tina tried not to be too blunt “Taron, it’s early days and these are the most difficult ones, it’s so easy to…” she didn’t want to finish her sentence, knowing what Taron and Eryn had been through, when she miscarried, she knew Taron was going to understand where she was going with her comment anyway. She was correct, he coughed and cleared his throat, swallowing his tears and emotion with it.  
“What happened anyway? I thought her idea of how to tell you was very sweet” Tina said. Taron sounded uncomfortable, he knew he was in for more of his mother’s temper “I found the test in her bag” he admitted “and?” Tina asked, “And what?” he replied “What happened next? She asked exasperated she knew Taron was playing silly buggers, dancing around the truth to avoid been reprimanded “Taron” she warned “Ok, so maybe I was a bit of a prick, I might have ignored her and pretended to flirt with some fans” he muttered. The sound his mother made, was enough for him to squirm. He knew he had behaved badly, but at the time it had felt justified. Now though, it just appeared immature and his Mam was right, he was so focussed on stupid details. He hadn’t even thought about whether it was true, Eryn and he were going to have a baby, naturally, no surrogates or IVF interventions. “I’m going to go and talk to her” Taron sighed and after a little more of his Mam’s maternal love, he said goodbye.  
Leaning on the door frame, he looked out at Eryn on the beach. She looked as if she hadn’t moved since he went to call Tina. He picked up a blanket and walked over to her. She started, when she felt the blanket being wrapped around her shoulders and turned to see Taron. “You’ll get cold” he said simply and sat next to her though he too stared at the ocean “How are you feeling? He asked after a long period of silence. Eryn got up and began walking into the suite, once inside she dropped the blanket on the sofa and went into the bedroom. She got ready for bed and when she emerged from the bathroom and went into the bedroom again, Taron was waiting sat at the end of the bed.  
“Eryn, I get that you’re mad at me, but you” he began “I, I, I did what Taron? She shot at him. He scowled “Eryn you promised no more leaving me out, we should have done that test together” he continued beginning to feel his frustration returning. Eryn’s defences were well and truly up, having felt ganged up on by the two people she loved the most, her honeymoon ruined and the excitement and celebration she should have been having with Taron destroyed, she was also angry and hurt.  
“I didn’t even know I was going to do it, I certainly didn’t expect it to show, to show” she trailed off. Taron looked at his hands as Eryn got into the bed. Hugging her knees again she began to feel dizzy again, leaning over she reached for her glass of water and sipped some. As she did Taron turned to speak but stopped in horror. Eryn’s beautiful white nightgown was spotted with large dots of bright red blood, her underwear itself was visible and a large red patch was showing. “Eryn, Eryn I think your bleeding baby” Taron stuttered “Eryn looked at her dress and her hand flew to her mouth, climbing out of bed, she headed to the toilet followed by Taron. Eryn pulled off her underwear and sat on the toilet, wiping herself she whimpered as the tissue in her hand was bloodied.  
Eryn froze and looked at Taron, who went to the phone in the suite and called downstairs, he explained to the manager and he sent out for a doctor to come to the suite. Meanwhile, Eryn placed a sanitary towel in a clean pair of knickers and dressed in case she had to go to the hospital. The couple sat in the lounge area in silence. Both in their own worlds as the door knocked and Taron jumped up.  
The doctor took Eryn to the bedroom and examined her. Taron stood on the patio and smoked. All the anger and frustration felt petty now, what his mother had said about stress being bad for the baby and that this was a tricky time came back to him, so much could happen to risk the pregnancy, He felt awful for risking their babies life over something so pointless, he had some work to do, he knew. By not trusting in Eryn he would have done serious damage to her trust in him and he knew she must feel rejected.  
When the doctor came out, Taron threw the cig out and squashed it with his shoe. “Eryn was still in the bedroom and as Taron saw the doctor out, he told Taron to look after her. He shut the door and made a beeline for Eryn. He found her laid on her side. Propped up a bit on the pillows, she was crying. Taron knelt on the floor next to her, he looked like Draig, his eyes sad and apologetic, looking at Eryn and needing to know if hers were tears of relief or loss. Taron reached out to stroke her cheek. She turned away “Eryn, please” he pleaded she conceded and turned back “Well, apparently it’s all very normal, especially if you have done a lot of travelling, It’s called ‘spotting’ she told him.  
A small smile played on his lips “So, you’re still, we still” he stammered “I’m still pregnant, yes” she said softly. She smiled. He hadn’t noticed earlier but Eryn’s hand rested protectively on her stomach area and was gently stroking it. He reached his hand out and laid his on top of hers. Eryn closed her eyes, still so hurt by Taron’s actions, but the emotions that hit her seeing him do that were undeniable. It was just joy, They did it, she actually had a baby growing inside her, alive and well.  
Taron dropped his head and kissed her stomach below her hands. “Eryn I am so sorry” he sighed “Taron you know what, Sorry just isn’t going to cut it” she sighed “I don’t want to fight with you but, You never gave me a chance, not to tell you in the way I wanted to, you believed me capable of hurting you, hurting us without a second thought and even after you had time to process and realise, it took your Mam to point it out to you, for you to come around, what if she hadn’t done that Taron? Would you still be apologising to me now? She looked out of the window ahead of her “Taron you ruined things that can’t be fixed, You can’t give me this honeymoon back, my dream place arriving here is tainted by the memories, the excitement of sharing the news of our baby, gone, wrecked” she couldn’t look at him as her eyes were wet and she wiped them away angrily.  
“Eryn, what can I do? I know, you’re right. Apart from the bit about my Mam, Eryn I am too quick to judge and I know I fly off the handle. I don’t know why I do that? I guess I am insecure, I don’t know why I thought you would do that, I fucking know you wouldn’t. I am dumb” he shook his head and sat back on his backside; his legs stretched out in front of him. “Eryn I am genuinely sorry I did all that, you’re right. I can’t fix it. So, what now?  
Eryn finally looked at him “I guess we try and salvage what is left of the trip, but I can’t just switch off how I feel, I need some time” she told him. She hated seeing the hurt and sadness in his eyes. She didn’t want to dwell on the pain and mistrust. She too understood the pettiness to hold a grudge over his actions. But she also wasn’t going to dismiss her feelings, she had learnt that much.  
Taron got up and walking around, got into the other side of the bed, he moved to spoon with her, and she wiggled back a little into him, he was relieved that she did so. His hand again resting on hers on her stomach. Eryn turned over and tucked herself into his chest. He rested his head on hers and held her, closing his eyes. He let a small smile play on his lips as he began to let the joy sink through, He was going to be a father. Eryn felt his heartbeat increase and his breath quicken with the excitement. “What’s got you welsh boi? She asked and he smiled softly at her, stroking her hair “we did it” he said simply Eryn looked into his eyes, the little sparkle, the twinkle like moonlight on water always broke through her defences, he just has some magic that no one else owned. She let herself finally accept it, take it in and allow herself to feel something. She blinked back more tears and smiled back at him “We did, god Taron, we really actually did” barely able to finish what she was saying, before happy tears broke through.  
Taron wiped them with his hand and looked at her lovingly “I love you so much, I will do whatever it takes to repair this, I promise” he told her. “I love you too, I know you will, that’s why I love you baby but it’s why it happened that I think we need to work on” she conceded. He nodded and laying back, he gently moved her with him.  
“We best start thinking about names” he said. Eryn’s eyes were heavy, she was tired “Well if it’s not welsh it’s not on the list” she said sleepily. “Best get Mam to send us a book then” he chuckled “You sure about Welsh? There are some pretty dodgy ones” he laughed “This baby is going to be welshied up to it’s eyeballs just you wait and see, Now you can think up names me and this little, what’s the welsh for bug? She asked “Bug? He was confused “why Bug? “I don’t know, I was thinking It needs a non-gender specific name and ‘Bug’ seemed to stick in my head” she admitted “But Mari is my bug” Taron reminded her “Oh yeah, ok give me some other Welsh terms of endearment then” she yawned, her eyes staying closed “Cariad is love, or Caru, erm Annwyl is dear or dearest” Eryn screwed up her face “Dear, urgh no” she groaned. Taron chuckled so not “Cariad? Bach is small or Cyw that means chick or baby animal” he offered “No I quite like Cariad, but Cyw is good too, Bach makes me think of the composer” she laughed “How about sosej” he joked “ I assume that’s the same in English, as in tasty in a bap with ketchup” she replied, making him guffaw “well enaid means friend or spirit life” he offered “what about just bump? He asked “What’s that in welsh then? She asked “Bymp” he smiled “That’s dead cute, ok yes bymp it is, aww bymp you have a name” she said cooing and stroking her stomach.  
“You know what is cute? Taron asked as Eryn snuggled a little into him “You talking to bymp” he smiled Eryn rolled her eyes, but a smile was also clearly there. “Baby? Eryn said softly “mmm” Taron replied, he too beginning to fall asleep “Thank you for not letting us argue over this forever” she said softly “I know me too, never go to bed angry” he smiled, though they both had their eyes closed, Eryn could feel it, like a warm glow.  



	84. Chapter 84

Chapter 84  
It was late, the sun was in fact coming up on the horizon as Eryn sat hugging her knees staring blank faced into the ocean. She was hurt and angry, How could the two people she loved in the whole world not know her? after all the years of friendship. This felt like such a betrayal and Taron too. How could they gang up on her?  
Taron sat sipping his beer as he built up his courage to call his Mam. He had promised to check in and knew he’d never cover up the sound of his voice or how he was. As good an actor as he was, he knew his Mam would see through it all. “Hey Mam” he said evenly “Well that’s not the sound of someone enjoying their honeymoon” she replied “I know” he sighed “What’s happened? I thought I was going to be hearing some exciting news and a overjoyed son” she didn’t sound as sympathetic as Taron had hoped “Mam, I know you know already, you knew before me for gods sakes” he huffed “Taron, darling please tell me the reason for your tone, isn’t something to do with that? She warned.  
Taron’s silence gave her the answer “Taron David Egerton” she exclaimed “Are you telling me, after all that trouble, everything that you and Eryn have been through, after believing your chance to have your own baby was gone, all that stuff about wanting Eryn to be pregnant…” Taron cowered a little as he heard the rumblings of a proper telling off coming his way “Taron” she said quietly “Taron, Eryn is having your baby” she said simply “ and she didn’t bother to tell me she suspected, did the test on her own, didn’t bother to involve me, then tells you and some stupid journalist first, so I find out in the papers” he growled “Oh Taron” Tina sighed “ You are so sensitive about what some stupid London rag does, You really think it was her who tipped them off? if they were even tipped off, they could have taken a punt” Taron could see her head shaking.  
“Taron, She had to tell me, she was missing when we all got up and Henny was going crazy thinking, she had jilted you, I was driving around Aber in a frenzy looking for her” she told him “She ran off?” he said sounding hurt and shocked “Taron stop and let me finish” she warned him. “You never wait to get all the facts” she chided him “She didn’t run off, she went to get more pregnancy tests to back up the one, she stole out of Henny’s bag of stuff” Tina went on to explain how Eryn, not able to sleep and bored decided to play with the test and peed on it, not expecting what came up. She continued to tell him what Eryn had told her.  
“I just looked at the stick and was blindsided Tina” Eryn told her as they watched their footing on the gravel path. The hill was pretty steep in places and Tina began to wonder if Eryn in her condition ought to be walking it, but as it was downhill, and they were already ¾ down it felt safer to continue than turn around and climb up. “When I had bought these” she said, showing Tina the 4 sticks in her hand. All showed the same ‘pregnant’ and 1-2weeks. “I wanted to be somewhere that made me happy and alone to re-test, this seemed perfect as I couldn’t go to the house or back to yours. I wanted to call Taron, to take the test again” she said dropping her head “But what I thought if the first had been a fluke, he would be so gutted and I couldn’t do that to him, not today” she sighed. “so, I went in the café and I peed on each one, then I came and waited on the bench, watching the ocean.   
The little bridge is my favourite spot, I literally just read them, when you two came around the corner, I dropped one off the bridge, there were 5” she laughed a little. Tina smiled happily, “I don’t want you to think I was having cold feet Tina, I would never, I love Taron so much, I can’t explain it” she said as tears started to trickle from her eyes. The two women stopped, and Tina held Eryn “Eryn, I can’t believe it, this is so perfect” Tina smiled “So, I guess seeing as we caught you in the act of finding out yourself, that Taron is still in the dark? She asked “Yeah, I have an idea about that though, it will have to wait until the flight, because I want it to be just two of us” she explained.  
“Mam, why do I do this? He said quietly “Because you are like a bull, you see a red flag and off you go full pelt, then it turns out there was no red flag” she grumbled “What about the press? Mam if only you and Eryn knew, and I know you didn’t do it” he huffed again “How do you know I didn’t? Taron was perplexed, he couldn’t believe his ears “Mam? No, I can’t believe” he stuttered “I didn’t” she replied, and Taron felt his heart beating like crazy. “Mam” he groaned.  
“Taron, really, if it’s that impossible for me to have done it, then how the hell did you get it into your head Eryn could? Taron slumped in his chair; he knew she was completely right. What was he thinking? “Then how? He began but Tina stopped him “Firstly, how do you even know they knew? Since when did those red top rags ever write anything true? You of all people ought to know this Taron” she huffed. Tina had boycotted The Sun newspaper like some of the country and in even more in Liverpool, where Tina and Taron were born, after the diabolical articles when the Hillsborough disaster occurred. growing up Taron knew this and her dislike of the gutter press.  
“I did tell Guy, Taron” so maybe someone over-heard “But what does it matter? Taron you are going to be a father, why on earth are you not celebrating and looking after that wife and baby of yours? what do you think this stress is doing to them? Tina tried not to be too blunt “Taron, it’s early days and these are the most difficult ones, it’s so easy to…” she didn’t want to finish her sentence, knowing what Taron and Eryn had been through, when she miscarried, she knew Taron was going to understand where she was going with her comment anyway. She was correct, he coughed and cleared his throat, swallowing his tears and emotion with it.  
“What happened anyway? I thought her idea of how to tell you was very sweet” Tina said. Taron sounded uncomfortable, he knew he was in for more of his mother’s temper “I found the test in her bag” he admitted “and?” Tina asked, “And what?” he replied “What happened next? She asked exasperated she knew Taron was playing silly buggers, dancing around the truth to avoid been reprimanded “Taron” she warned “Ok, so maybe I was a bit of a prick, I might have ignored her and pretended to flirt with some fans” he muttered. The sound his mother made, was enough for him to squirm. He knew he had behaved badly, but at the time it had felt justified. Now though, it just appeared immature and his Mam was right, he was so focussed on stupid details. He hadn’t even thought about whether it was true, Eryn and he were going to have a baby, naturally, no surrogates or IVF interventions. “I’m going to go and talk to her” Taron sighed and after a little more of his Mam’s maternal love, he said goodbye.  
Leaning on the door frame, he looked out at Eryn on the beach. She looked as if she hadn’t moved since he went to call Tina. He picked up a blanket and walked over to her. She started, when she felt the blanket being wrapped around her shoulders and turned to see Taron. “You’ll get cold” he said simply and sat next to her though he too stared at the ocean “How are you feeling? He asked after a long period of silence. Eryn got up and began walking into the suite, once inside she dropped the blanket on the sofa and went into the bedroom. She got ready for bed and when she emerged from the bathroom and went into the bedroom again, Taron was waiting sat at the end of the bed.  
“Eryn, I get that you’re mad at me, but you” he began “I, I, I did what Taron? She shot at him. He scowled “Eryn you promised no more leaving me out, we should have done that test together” he continued beginning to feel his frustration returning. Eryn’s defences were well and truly up, having felt ganged up on by the two people she loved the most, her honeymoon ruined and the excitement and celebration she should have been having with Taron destroyed, she was also angry and hurt.  
“I didn’t even know I was going to do it, I certainly didn’t expect it to show, to show” she trailed off. Taron looked at his hands as Eryn got into the bed. Hugging her knees again she began to feel dizzy again, leaning over she reached for her glass of water and sipped some. As she did Taron turned to speak but stopped in horror. Eryn’s beautiful white nightgown was spotted with large dots of bright red blood, her underwear itself was visible and a large red patch was showing. “Eryn, Eryn I think your bleeding baby” Taron stuttered “Eryn looked at her dress and her hand flew to her mouth, climbing out of bed, she headed to the toilet followed by Taron. Eryn pulled off her underwear and sat on the toilet, wiping herself she whimpered as the tissue in her hand was bloodied.   
Eryn froze and looked at Taron, who went to the phone in the suite and called downstairs, he explained to the manager and he sent out for a doctor to come to the suite. Meanwhile, Eryn placed a sanitary towel in a clean pair of knickers and dressed in case she had to go to the hospital. The couple sat in the lounge area in silence. Both in their own worlds as the door knocked and Taron jumped up.   
The doctor took Eryn to the bedroom and examined her. Taron stood on the patio and smoked. All the anger and frustration felt petty now, what his mother had said about stress being bad for the baby and that this was a tricky time came back to him, so much could happen to risk the pregnancy, He felt awful for risking their babies life over something so pointless, he had some work to do, he knew. By not trusting in Eryn he would have done serious damage to her trust in him and he knew she must feel rejected.  
When the doctor came out, Taron threw the cig out and squashed it with his shoe. “Eryn was still in the bedroom and as Taron saw the doctor out, he told Taron to look after her. He shut the door and made a beeline for Eryn. He found her laid on her side. Propped up a bit on the pillows, she was crying. Taron knelt on the floor next to her, he looked like Draig, his eyes sad and apologetic, looking at Eryn and needing to know if hers were tears of relief or loss. Taron reached out to stroke her cheek. She turned away “Eryn, please” he pleaded she conceded and turned back “Well, apparently it’s all very normal, especially if you have done a lot of travelling, It’s called ‘spotting’ she told him.  
A small smile played on his lips “So, you’re still, we still” he stammered “I’m still pregnant, yes” she said softly. She smiled. He hadn’t noticed earlier but Eryn’s hand rested protectively on her stomach area and was gently stroking it. He reached his hand out and laid his on top of hers. Eryn closed her eyes, still so hurt by Taron’s actions, but the emotions that hit her seeing him do that were undeniable. It was just joy, They did it, she actually had a baby growing inside her, alive and well.   
Taron dropped his head and kissed her stomach below her hands. “Eryn I am so sorry” he sighed “Taron you know what, Sorry just isn’t going to cut it” she sighed “I don’t want to fight with you but, You never gave me a chance, not to tell you in the way I wanted to, you believed me capable of hurting you, hurting us without a second thought and even after you had time to process and realise, it took your Mam to point it out to you, for you to come around, what if she hadn’t done that Taron? Would you still be apologising to me now? She looked out of the window ahead of her “Taron you ruined things that can’t be fixed, You can’t give me this honeymoon back, my dream place arriving here is tainted by the memories, the excitement of sharing the news of our baby, gone, wrecked” she couldn’t look at him as her eyes were wet and she wiped them away angrily.  
“Eryn, what can I do? I know, you’re right. Apart from the bit about my Mam, Eryn I am too quick to judge and I know I fly off the handle. I don’t know why I do that? I guess I am insecure, I don’t know why I thought you would do that, I fucking know you wouldn’t. I am dumb” he shook his head and sat back on his backside; his legs stretched out in front of him. “Eryn I am genuinely sorry I did all that, you’re right. I can’t fix it. So, what now?  
Eryn finally looked at him “I guess we try and salvage what is left of the trip, but I can’t just switch off how I feel, I need some time” she told him. She hated seeing the hurt and sadness in his eyes. She didn’t want to dwell on the pain and mistrust. She too understood the pettiness to hold a grudge over his actions. But she also wasn’t going to dismiss her feelings, she had learnt that much.  
Taron got up and walking around, got into the other side of the bed, he moved to spoon with her, and she wiggled back a little into him, he was relieved that she did so. His hand again resting on hers on her stomach. Eryn turned over and tucked herself into his chest. He rested his head on hers and held her, closing his eyes. He let a small smile play on his lips as he began to let the joy sink through, He was going to be a father. Eryn felt his heartbeat increase and his breath quicken with the excitement. “What’s got you welsh boi? She asked and he smiled softly at her, stroking her hair “we did it” he said simply Eryn looked into his eyes, the little sparkle, the twinkle like moonlight on water always broke through her defences, he just has some magic that no one else owned. She let herself finally accept it, take it in and allow herself to feel something. She blinked back more tears and smiled back at him “We did, god Taron, we really actually did” barely able to finish what she was saying, before happy tears broke through.  
Taron wiped them with his hand and looked at her lovingly “I love you so much, I will do whatever it takes to repair this, I promise” he told her. “I love you too, I know you will, that’s why I love you baby but it’s why it happened that I think we need to work on” she conceded. He nodded and laying back, he gently moved her with him.   
“We best start thinking about names” he said. Eryn’s eyes were heavy, she was tired “Well if it’s not welsh it’s not on the list” she said sleepily. “Best get Mam to send us a book then” he chuckled “You sure about Welsh? There are some pretty dodgy ones” he laughed “This baby is going to be welshied up to it’s eyeballs just you wait and see, Now you can think up names me and this little, what’s the welsh for bug? She asked “Bug? He was confused “why Bug? “I don’t know, I was thinking It needs a non-gender specific name and ‘Bug’ seemed to stick in my head” she admitted “But Mari is my bug” Taron reminded her “Oh yeah, ok give me some other Welsh terms of endearment then” she yawned, her eyes staying closed “Cariad is love, or Caru, erm Annwyl is dear or dearest” Eryn screwed up her face “Dear, urgh no” she groaned. Taron chuckled so not “Cariad? Bach is small or Cyw that means chick or baby animal” he offered “No I quite like Cariad, but Cyw is good too, Bach makes me think of the composer” she laughed “How about sosej” he joked “ I assume that’s the same in English, as in tasty in a bap with ketchup” she replied, making him guffaw “well enaid means friend or spirit life” he offered “what about just bump? He asked “What’s that in welsh then? She asked “Bymp” he smiled “That’s dead cute, ok yes bymp it is, aww bymp you have a name” she said cooing and stroking her stomach.  
“You know what is cute? Taron asked as Eryn snuggled a little into him “You talking to bymp” he smiled Eryn rolled her eyes, but a smile was also clearly there. “Baby? Eryn said softly “mmm” Taron replied, he too beginning to fall asleep “Thank you for not letting us argue over this forever” she said softly “I know me too, never go to bed angry” he smiled, though they both had their eyes closed, Eryn could feel it, like a warm glow.


	85. Chapter 85

Chapter 65  
Eryn had no time to enjoy the sunrise the next morning, Taron found her leant against the toilet bowl, her eyes closed and face pale. He sat next to her and stroked her arm, waking her. He looked at her sympathetically as she groaned. “What can I do? he asked “Get me up, I think I’m done throwing up, but I’ve no more energy to move” she whined. Taron got up and gently helped her to her feet. Then without warning he scooped her up into his arms and carried her back to bed. She laid under the cool sheets, relaxed. She still had a little nausea. But not enough to make her think she would be sick again.  
Taron brought her some cool water and climbed up into bed next to her “I’m not much fun, am I? she groaned looking out at the beautiful Hawaiian sea. Taron ran his fingers through her hair, moving it back behind her ear and kissed her cheek. “You are the best fun right now, you are growing our baby, what’s more fun than that? He smiled “You” she said smiling and shaking her head lightly, regretting the movement immediately. “Do you want something to eat? Taron asked unsure, but Eryn raised an eyebrow and closed her eyes. “sleep” she grumbled. Taron chuckled and kissed her cheek again, “ok” he said and bent down kissing her belly “Give Mammy a break Bymp please” he said, making Eryn smile and ruffle his hair. He winked and left to find something to eat, seeing the bow and arrows a smile suddenly broke on his face as he knew what he could do while Eryn Slept.  
“Thwack, Thwack” Eryn opened her eyes hearing the repetitive sound outside the open window to the suite. She slowly sat and shook herself awake. She was glad to feel the nausea was all but gone. She pushed on her flip-flops and wandered out to see what the noise was and found Taron, gleefully hitting palm trees with his bow and arrow. Lowering them he turned and beamed as he saw Eryn. “Feeling better? he asked. Eryn was still in her nightwear. She nodded her head and went back inside, She took her nightclothes off and changed into shorts, a vest top and trainers.   
“Come on then Welsh Boi, my turn” she called over to him as she returned. “Oh, you think you can beat me Missus E, do you? “Missus E? she laughed “As in Miss E Elliot? She added and he shrugged “I will find a decent nickname eventually” he smiled. He handed her the bow and arrow and began to explain what to do, when she shot out the arrow from the bow expertly and turned to Taron smugly “Sorry what were you saying? He was wide eyed and his mouth open “Bloody hell, you sly dog” he scowled “You keep surprising me” he smiled.  
Eryn lowered the bow and looked sadder, “Actually T, we do need to talk, talking of surprises” she said as her heart began to increase its rate again. Taron looked concerned. “Ok, not sure I like the sound of this, but you haven’t eaten so let’s go get food and we can talk” he said. He took her hand and they walked inside. Ordering from the menu and waited for the butler service. Meanwhile they sat by the pool at the little picnic table, it was glorious, and Eryn was nervous about what she had to say. She sat opposite Taron and took his hands. She stared at them as she spoke, letting the words tumble out, unsure how he would react.  
“I got a text from Henny, babe she did a test. It was also positive” she stopped but couldn’t bring herself to look up. Taron though sat back in his chair, his hands leaving Eryn’s and running across his face and through his hair “Shit, how did I manage to forget about Henny? he groaned. He looked at Eryn who was clearly waiting for him to go for her “Babe? he said, and she looked up momentarily. He leant over and took her hands “I’m not mad or anything” he said. Seeing her relax and hearing her sigh, he knew that she had been preparing herself for him to be. “What have you said to her? He asked “Nothing, she apparently thinks I’m as capable of telling the press as you were, she er well let’s say she’s disowned me” she sighed.  
Taron looked thoughtful, “Well, she can’t do that, it’s still our baby” he cried. “I know, but I don’t have the energy to have another fight, especially with her right now” she groaned. Taron got up and walked around the table. He wrapped his arms around Eryn, resting his head on her shoulder. I know “Bloody Hell Eryn, two?? He smiled slightly “I know” she tried to smile, but the worry over what Henny was thinking and feeling was niggling below the surface. She stroked her belly gently and thoughts jumbled together. Taron felt her go into panic, almost before she did. He pressed harder against her “Eryn, it’s ok. It will all be good, I promise” he whispered and able to zone in on his voice, she managed to come out of it quicker than usual. Her head dropped though sadly as she felt that familiar sicky feeling and dashed to the toilet.   
“Taron” was all Henny said when she answered the phone, “I take it she told you” she snapped “Yes, Henny she did and that like me you jumped to the conclusion that she told the press and held out on you. Henny, I saw the paper before she told me too” he finished. Henny was uncharacteristically quiet “Henny? We didn’t exactly plan this, we still want both babies and we still plan on continuing with you exactly the same as we planned” he said “Well Taron, maybe I don’t want to do that, I mean you have what you wanted now don’t you? You don’t need me, and this baby will only ever be second best, I don’t think I want a child to come into the world under those circumstances, besides Bled and I want to make a proper go of things, a baby complicates things” she said arrogantly.  
Taron did his best to keep his anger in check, but he seethed “Henny, no child of mine, or Eryn’s would ever be second best and you know that, I know you do. You fucking think after the way Eryn grew up she would... and as for you and Bled, well that’s great, but you made a promise and signed contracts Henny” he knew he shouldn’t have said about the contracts, he was feeling protective of the baby and it sounded like Henny was talking about termination. “I think we need to talk properly once you both are back from Hawaii” she said hanging up. Taron punched the bed, putting the phone in his pocket.   
Eryn heard the thwack and twangs of the bow and arrows again, this time they were punctuated with shouts and angry growls. She knew the phone call had clearly not gone well and decided to let Taron take his anger out on the trees, she was laid on the sun lounger dozing and still feeling nauseous. Nothing was going to ruin this honeymoon anymore she decided. She would think about Henny’s baby, when they got back. Right now, all she could do was cope with the effects this one was having on her.  
Eryn didn’t wake again until the early hours of the morning. The warm sun was beautiful, but the nausea was beginning to be such a pain and threatened to wreck what was left of their honeymoon. She got up slowly and sat on the edge of the bed allowing the dizziness she had each time she lifted or raised her head to subside. She walked over to the dresser and pulled out her bikini. Feeling brave and for some reason caring less about her figure she pulled it on. It was white with diamante jewels on the backside of the bottoms reading Mrs Egerton. Henny had ordered them, she had a few items with either this or ‘Bride’ emblazoned on them, that Henny had bought in bulk.  
She set herself on one of the day beds, the visor covering her enough to allow her to enjoy the sun but not burn. She tentatively dialled Henny. “Take your time Ren, don’t worry I know I’m not priority anymore” Henny sniffed “Hen, please come on, I didn’t call because I was hoping that you would have thought about what you said and realised that I would never do that to you, Hen how long have we know one another? Eryn sighed “30 years” Henny mumbled “30 fucking years, Hen please let me at least explain how it went down” Eryn urged her friend and when Henny intonated that she was listening, Eryn explained the same as she had with Taron. That she hadn’t slept the morning of the wedding she saw the test and out of some random thought or desire, decided to try it out. She heard Henny’s reactions and the seemed to be getting more positive.  
But when she told Henny that she had told Tina, she heard Henny grumble “Hen, you fucking stormed off, how or when exactly was I meant to tell you, besides I told Tina because I needed her to know I hadn’t just run out on her son” Eryn felt she was talking to a brick wall as she heard huffs and puffs coming down the line. “Hen? Come on Taron should have been the first to know, I couldn’t tell you and then him, surely you understand that? “I suppose” Henny grumbled. “And as for the fucking press, as if I would talk to those motherfuckers” Eryn cried angrily. “Yeah alright, maybe that was out of character” Henny conceded.  
“So, what now. We are both up the duff. I meant what I said to Taron…” Eryn interrupted “You spoke to Taron, when? He didn’t say” Eryn looked toward him, sleeping still in the bed. Henny relayed the conversation she had had with Taron to Eryn. “Ok, well number one Hen, he has a point. As if we would ever treat the baby your carrying as second best, Jesus Hen. Do you even know me at all? Eryn replied frustrated and beginning to feel sick. “Shit! Hen wait a minute… Henny heard Eryn throwing up, the noise stimulating her own nausea. Both women simultaneously threw up. Returning finally to the phone call Henny chuckled lightly “Joyful this pregnancy Lark, isn’t it? She groaned “You too? Eryn asked empathetically. “Oh yes” she said resignedly.   
“Henny, please can we just move passed this? Please. We both need each other more than ever now and no one else knows what we are thinking and feeling” she told her, hearing Henny thinking she sighed. “I know that it complicates things with Bleddyn and you, which by the way I need to hear all about at some point, but Hen, this is me and we can do this together, I promise I am right by your side and I need you by mine” she urged. “Oh Babs, of course I will be there! She answered finally “when have I ever not, I’m sorry I flew off the handle, can I blame the hormones?” she laughed a little. “Hey, I am blaming them for everything, trust me” Eryn laughed. The girls continued their conversation and Henny filled Eryn in on the interesting events that led Bleddyn and Henny to each other. The call ended because both women were soon so tired from the constant sickness and general fatigue. They needed sleep.  
Eryn was glad to have cleared the air, She closed her eyes. Starting as she felt cold liquid on her shoulders. “You’ll burn dummy” Taron whispered “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you” his hands massaged the cool creaminess into her skin. It was welcome and feeling his fingers caressing her muscles, in the heat was certainly giving her ‘feels’ as she lay on her stomach, carefully. Though she still had no bump, it felt wrong to squash ‘Bymp’ under her body. Taron moved closer, allowing his hands to explore her back he untie the string around her neck. The strands falling onto the padded cushion beneath her. He then untied the strands around her body. Her breasts now loose spread out and pooled in front of her.  
The sensations were sizzling, and Eryn felt herself getting more and more aroused as he continued. Taron too was clearly feeling the heat as it was clear he was trying to ignore his semi, as he rearranged himself he snuck a kiss to her neck, then another and then pressing his lips into the soft skin at the nape of her neck, he pulled it into his mouth sucking it and releasing. Leaving a small reddish mark. Eryn turned to face him, holding her towel up to cover her bare breasts “Do you still need to mark me? I mean I have two bloody rings” she told him. “Is it my fault that you taste so fine? He asked his eyes showing their darker hue, one Eryn knew well, his desire was written all over him.   
She was glad to no longer be feeling sick and hoped the smell wasn’t lingering as she reached her hand up and pulled his face toward her so she could smash her lips into his. Feeling the pressure from his and the changing motions, that always delighted her. She lingered and drew out before separating and smiling seductively. “Should we take this inside? Taron whispered. But looking around there was no one for miles and Eryn shook her head, Taron looked confused “No need to move” she offered smiling. Taron took his own look around and felt a tingle of danger and excitement.   
“Really out in the open? He asked, “Are you sure?” “Taron, we are on honeymoon people expect us to be having sex, besides this is the first time I’ve not felt like hurling, so shut up and do me” she chuckled “Do you? Wow so romantic” he laughed. “Make love to me then” she said softer, laying her arms around his neck “Please” she said sweetly. Taron kissed her again as she let go of the towel that was covering her modesty. His hands moving to caress her boobs, massaging them and holding them tightly with the fullness of his hand as the fingers on his other hand played with her nipples. His head moving to her neck he trailed kisses and eventually his lips and tongue replaced his fingers and he lightly bit her nipples, squeezing the round, soft breasts in his hands. Eryn groaned and lay back on the mattress.  
It was as if she were a feast and Taron was devouring her. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to be completely present and feel the intensity and exhilaration of everything Taron was doing. His kisses soon trailed to the inside of her thighs and she gently opened her legs for him as his fingers slipped inside her bikini bottoms. She shut her legs on his hand momentarily teasing him. He looked up at her questioningly though seeing her smirk he simply pushed his fingers inside her making her gasp and as if he had found a door release button, her legs opened for him. His lips returned to the inside of her thighs and peck by peck he moved to her clit. Draping his tongue around the sensitive spot she groaned loudly as Taron expertly manoeuvred his fingers inside as his lips and tongue brought Eryn to climax. She arched her back and sighed heavily.   
Taron traversed her body and lay next to her, Stroking her cheek as they kissed each other varying the degree of pace and pressure. Enjoying each other and sharing adoring looks, smiles of knowing and feeling each other’s love.   
It was all going so well, until out of no where Eryn covered her mouth, she went to move, but it was too late. Vomit escaped around her hand and all over the day bed, Eryn and Taron. She shouted in horror and shame, running into the suite and to the bathroom.  
Taron jumped up automatically and dodged some of the splatter. But his clothes were clearly bound for the bin. He was pleased to see that mostly the day bed was ok as the towel and they had caught it mostly. He rolled up the towel and took it and his own sodden clothing heading inside, he found a bag and placed the towel in it, stripping off he placed all of the soiled clothing inside. He wandered into the bedroom and pulled on a pair of clean shorts, not bothering with underwear and found Eryn again resting her head on the toilet bowl. She was nude from the waist, up but covered in vomit. She looked fairly green.   
Taron turned on the shower and making sure the water wasn’t too cold, helped her up and under the stream. He filled her puff with shower gel and gently washed her, she smiled up at him, she knew he loved to do it and she loved to see his face as he took care of her. She rand her hands over his wet body, his shorts now wet through, she pulled them off him and he stood as she sat.   
Her hands trailed up to his thighs and slowly ran her hands around them. He crouched down and she pulled a face, glum. He kissed her gently “I know what’s on your mind, but it’s ok” he said as he stopped the water and stood her gently up, wrapping a towel around his waist and another around Eryn. He pulled her to him “You can always make it up to me when you’re feeling better” he told her. She tucked her head under his chin and closed her eyes. “This honeymoon is not going to plan, Welsh Boi. I know Cariad, I know” he replied as the wandered into the lounge and got comfortable on the beautiful and exquisitely soft sofa. She lay her head on his lap whilst they watched the television, Taron playing with her hair soothed her and Eryn lazily stroked her stomach, Taron’s hand on top of her own.


	86. Chapter 86

Chapter 87  
Taron found it pretty easy to get about and found most of what he wanted in the local market, His mam had given him a list of things that could help Eryn with her sickness and Taron was determined to be useful. He knew that Eryn felt bad about being boring, but he was more concerned with making her feel better, than seeing the sights. He’d not seen her as rough and eat so little as she was currently, and it really bothered him how little water she was consuming. So, anything that was put forward he was eager to try. As he was chatting to the locals, someone overheard him mention pregnancy sickness and before he knew it, a crowd of local women were putting all sorts of home remedies and items off the market. He would have no idea what to do with half of them once he got back, the explanation being in broken English at times and so fast paced he had no chance he’d remember.   
Taron tumbled in through the door, dropping half his packages as he did so. He had way more than he had expected. But was sure something must be helpful. He put the bags down in the kitchenette and saw Eryn sat with her feet in the pool. He wandered out to her and sat down, dropping his own into the cool water. “ooh that is good” he cooed “How are you feeling? He asked, kissing Eryn and leaning back on his hands to soak in the sun. “Better actually, I was just going to go for a dip, if you fancy it. She said sliding into the pool “No swimmers” he answered. Eryn looked around “No need” she said as she untied the strings around her neck and back. Allowing the bikini top to float on the water. Her bare breasts slightly hidden under the water line, had Taron totally turned on.  
He pulled off his t-shirt and shorts, dropping into the pool in his boxers, he removed them under the water and chucked them onto the deck, Eryn’s bikini bottoms followed shortly after. She backed herself up as Taron chased her, grabbing her legs and wrapping them around his waist, she wrapped her arms around his neck “Hmm I like it when you take charge” she breathed into his ear. “You do? But you are so good at it” he grinned “Still sometimes a girl just wants a strong man to take her” she bit her lip. “Is that right? He said, his face becoming strong and his eyes darkening with that familiar look of desire. He pressed her back against the pool side, palm leaves covering them in the corner. He reached behind her and gripped the side of the pool. Dropping his head to her neck he kissed her hard and pushed himself into her, causing her to gasp and her back to arch. She was about to call out as Taron covered her mouth with his hand and held her eye contact. As he moved himself in deeply and firmly, increasing his pace and using the pool to grip, his feel also on the side, the water began to slap against the sides as he sped up to an epic pace, pounding into her, She buried her head into Taron’s shoulder growling and shouting “Fuck” into his neck as she came hard, her teeth sank into the soft flesh of his shoulder and she shuddered in his arms, as he came shortly after.   
“Shit Eryn” he cried wincing as he caught his breath. Eryn ran her finger gently over his shoulder “Oh Taron, I’m so sorry… I didn’t” Eryn felt dreadful it was a deep bite and she certainly had bruised him. She felt guilty but Taron burst into laughter “Mark me why don’t you? How do I explain that in make-up” He pulled her closer, “I really am sorry baby” she pouted. He stroked her face “It’s ok, fair play I guess for all the marks I’ve left on you” he smiled “Yeah, but that’s not a hickey” she felt terrible “I can think of worse reactions to my lovemaking” he grinned. Eryn shook her head, “proud of it are you? She smiled back “Hell yeah, shows how good I am” he laughed “Baby, you have two people pregnant at one time, and you need more proof of being a stud” Eryn cocked her eyebrow “Hey, watch how loud you say that, people will think I actually, you know Henny and I” Taron shook his head “Your so cute” Eryn smiled “Not cute Cariad, not cute” he told her, shooting a fake warning glance at her.   
“Hot sexy beast” she offered “Much better” he grinned. Eryn shook her head “I’m glad you’re feeling better anyway” Taron told her as his hand rested on her stomach. “what made you feel better? He asked “No idea” she rested her head on Taron’s shoulder as they floated around allowing the water to drift them wherever it felt like it. “Well, I have plenty of recipes now, Mam gave me some” he told her “Oh god Taron are these a bunch of old wives tales? She grimaced at the idea of trying a bunch of weird remedies. “No these are proper legit, I promise. Maybe the local ones are a bit weird, but my Mam’s are top notch, she had it awful with Mari” he added looking proud of himself. “So that’s the errand you had to run? She asked “You are a very sweet Man, Mr Egerton. You didn’t have to do that” she replied kissing him and lingering her lips on his. “I felt useless just watching you suffer, I had to do something” he admitted stroking her cheek “So you have some bush tucker trial for me now do you? She laughed “Hey, I’d not thought of that” he chuckled.  
Eryn shivered a little, “Shall we go in? she asked “Yeah you first” he said as the couple realised, they hadn’t considered leaving the pool naked. Eryn took a chance and climbed out walked confidently to the lounger she picked up a towel and wrapped it around her, winking at Taron. She sat on the lounger and watched as he too climbed out showing his tan lines, his white backside making her chuckle as he wrapped the towel around his waist and joined her on the adjacent lounger. “What’s so funny? He asked  
“You are your wonderfully white Welsh Butt” she smiled he took off the towel and wiggled it at her.  
\-----  
The honeymoon had to end sometime and though Eryn managed to cope with the morning sickness, it sadly meant they were unable to explore as much as they had hoped. The flight back was ropey too, turbulence making many passengers sick. Eryn ended up simply laid on Taron’s lap in one position and chewing on ice cubes. As Taron stroked her hair and tried his best to distract her. They were so glad to be met at the airport by a driver and soon were back at the London pad. Eryn headed into the En suite and promptly christened the toilet bowl. The motion sickness from the car journey combining with all the other nausea. She stripped and crawled on all fours into bed. Sighing audibly as she felt the comfort of her own bed and bedding.   
Taron left the cases by the kitchen and took Eryn a glass of water. She was already drifting off to sleep as he entered. He crawled over to her and stroked her hair, running his fingers across her forehead. He wriggled down and kissed her stomach, feeling her hands on his head as he did so. He closed his eyes as her fingers massaged his scalp. He smiled softly then rested his head on her stomach. Soon both were asleep.  
The reality hit home nest morning. Eryn woke to see Taron had already got up, she dressed and picked up her phone. She had a bunch of emails and missed calls. She wandered into the kitchen and found her laptop. Seeing Taron’s animated silhouette in the frosted glass door to his office. She left him to it. Making herself a coffee, she found her old spot on the roof top and sighed sitting down and looking out over the London skyline. I was familiar and while she had always felt somewhat out of place when she had lived there. It now bizarrely felt more like home.   
She opened the laptop and made her way through them, working on the ones from her literary agent and publishers. She had taken an extended break for the wedding and now that was coming to an end people were eager to see something new from her. She had some ideas, but the erotica hadn’t done as well as her poetry had, and she wondered if it was the right path after all. She had a few offers to ghost write and a couple of celebrities had autobiographies they needed help with. Eryn thought about trying that, having only done fiction, I would be interesting to see if she could do non.   
She finally finished the emails and her coffee. She picked up the phone and began to trawl though the calls she needed to make. Firstly, to the GP to tell them she was pregnant and begin her ant-natal care. She would be sent a pregnancy pack out in the post with details of all the scans and midwife appointments. It was exciting and made things feel more real. She moved to the pool and sat on the edge, letting her legs drop into the pool. Her thoughts returning to the adventures she and Taron had had in the pool in Hawaii. She laughed as Henny answered the phone call “Hey Babs” she sounded awful “Oh Hen, you still sick? Eryn asked sadly “Actually yes, I’m in hospital babe, this baby sucked me dry, apparently I’m dehydrated” she groaned “Fuck Hen, why the hell didn’t you call, are you ok? Shall I come over? Eryn babbled panicked.  
“Oh God Ren, chill out. I’m fine, I’m on a drip and going home later tonight, it’s all very normal” she assured Eryn “Are you sure? She asked concerned for both Henny and Baby. “Honesty, I already feel so much better, they gave me an anti-sickness something too, it’s great stuff. I can actually keep water down” she laughed lightly “It’s a bugger this pregnancy lark isn’t it? Eryn chuckled rubbing her belly. “Oh, great fun, anyway, How was the honeymoon all rampant fucking and no sightseeing I hope” Eryn could hear Henny grin on the other end as Eryn blushed “Of course” Eryn replied. “Ha Eryn you are a devil in disguise” both women laughed. The chat continued until Eryn found her stomach grumbling and decided it was time to eat.  
She said goodbye and was about to walk downstairs when she met Taron on the staircase “Hello” he said “I wondered where you were, should have known you’d be in your writers spot” he said as they walked back to the lounge. “I was thinking food” she told him wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder, her chest pressed to his back. He held onto her hands “What do you fancy? Or is it a case of what Bymp fancies” he asked jovially. Turning around he bent down “So, little bymp, what do we fancy for lunch? Eryn laughed lightly loving how at ease Taron was with her non-existent bump. It was exactly as she imagined he would be, so attentive, even at such an early stage.   
She saw so much love in his eyes as he spoke and she found herself feeling emotional, knowing her baby would have a father, a real one. One who really cared and would be all that he or she would need. Taron saw her as she swallowed back the feelings, he pulled her into a hug “What’s up? he whispered “Just hormones” she tried, but Taron saw through her thin attempt to lie. “and the truth? He asked softly “I am so proud of you already” she smiled. He looked at her knowingly “I know I don’t need to tell you, how much it means to me to do everything in me to be the best father I can Eryn, We both understand how it feels to not have that, don’t we? He sad looking sadly at her. She nodded kissing his cheek “You are already so natural baby, it just fills my heart so much, but I can’t help but think about my own you know” she sighed “Me too babe, me too” Taron squeezed her lightly and closed his eyes.  
They stood for a short while, holding each other. “Food” Taron said suddenly “Come on let’s order in and have a cwtch, stuff can wait a bit” he smiled and led Eryn to the sofa.


	87. Chapter 87

Taron found it pretty easy to get about and found most of what he wanted in the local market, His mam had given him a list of things that could help Eryn with her sickness and Taron was determined to be useful. He knew that Eryn felt bad about being boring, but he was more concerned with making her feel better, than seeing the sights. He’d not seen her as rough and eat so little as she was currently, and it really bothered him how little water she was consuming. So, anything that was put forward he was eager to try. As he was chatting to the locals, someone overheard him mention pregnancy sickness and before he knew it, a crowd of local women were putting all sorts of home remedies and items off the market. He would have no idea what to do with half of them once he got back, the explanation being in broken English at times and so fast paced he had no chance he’d remember.   
Taron tumbled in through the door, dropping half his packages as he did so. He had way more than he had expected. But was sure something must be helpful. He put the bags down in the kitchenette and saw Eryn sat with her feet in the pool. He wandered out to her and sat down, dropping his own into the cool water. “ooh that is good” he cooed “How are you feeling? He asked, kissing Eryn and leaning back on his hands to soak in the sun. “Better actually, I was just going to go for a dip, if you fancy it. She said sliding into the pool “No swimmers” he answered. Eryn looked around “No need” she said as she untied the strings around her neck and back. Allowing the bikini top to float on the water. Her bare breasts slightly hidden under the water line, had Taron totally turned on.  
He pulled off his t-shirt and shorts, dropping into the pool in his boxers, he removed them under the water and chucked them onto the deck, Eryn’s bikini bottoms followed shortly after. She backed herself up as Taron chased her, grabbing her legs and wrapping them around his waist, she wrapped her arms around his neck “Hmm I like it when you take charge” she breathed into his ear. “You do? But you are so good at it” he grinned “Still sometimes a girl just wants a strong man to take her” she bit her lip. “Is that right? He said, his face becoming strong and his eyes darkening with that familiar look of desire. He pressed her back against the pool side, palm leaves covering them in the corner. He reached behind her and gripped the side of the pool. Dropping his head to her neck he kissed her hard and pushed himself into her, causing her to gasp and her back to arch. She was about to call out as Taron covered her mouth with his hand and held her eye contact. As he moved himself in deeply and firmly, increasing his pace and using the pool to grip, his feel also on the side, the water began to slap against the sides as he sped up to an epic pace, pounding into her, She buried her head into Taron’s shoulder growling and shouting “Fuck” into his neck as she came hard, her teeth sank into the soft flesh of his shoulder and she shuddered in his arms, as he came shortly after.   
“Shit Eryn” he cried wincing as he caught his breath. Eryn ran her finger gently over his shoulder “Oh Taron, I’m so sorry… I didn’t” Eryn felt dreadful it was a deep bite and she certainly had bruised him. She felt guilty but Taron burst into laughter “Mark me why don’t you? How do I explain that in make-up” He pulled her closer, “I really am sorry baby” she pouted. He stroked her face “It’s ok, fair play I guess for all the marks I’ve left on you” he smiled “Yeah, but that’s not a hickey” she felt terrible “I can think of worse reactions to my lovemaking” he grinned. Eryn shook her head, “proud of it are you? She smiled back “Hell yeah, shows how good I am” he laughed “Baby, you have two people pregnant at one time, and you need more proof of being a stud” Eryn cocked her eyebrow “Hey, watch how loud you say that, people will think I actually, you know Henny and I” Taron shook his head “Your so cute” Eryn smiled “Not cute Cariad, not cute” he told her, shooting a fake warning glance at her.   
“Hot sexy beast” she offered “Much better” he grinned. Eryn shook her head “I’m glad you’re feeling better anyway” Taron told her as his hand rested on her stomach. “what made you feel better? He asked “No idea” she rested her head on Taron’s shoulder as they floated around allowing the water to drift them wherever it felt like it. “Well, I have plenty of recipes now, Mam gave me some” he told her “Oh god Taron are these a bunch of old wives tales? She grimaced at the idea of trying a bunch of weird remedies. “No these are proper legit, I promise. Maybe the local ones are a bit weird, but my Mam’s are top notch, she had it awful with Mari” he added looking proud of himself. “So that’s the errand you had to run? She asked “You are a very sweet Man, Mr Egerton. You didn’t have to do that” she replied kissing him and lingering her lips on his. “I felt useless just watching you suffer, I had to do something” he admitted stroking her cheek “So you have some bush tucker trial for me now do you? She laughed “Hey, I’d not thought of that” he chuckled.  
Eryn shivered a little, “Shall we go in? she asked “Yeah you first” he said as the couple realised, they hadn’t considered leaving the pool naked. Eryn took a chance and climbed out walked confidently to the lounger she picked up a towel and wrapped it around her, winking at Taron. She sat on the lounger and watched as he too climbed out showing his tan lines, his white backside making her chuckle as he wrapped the towel around his waist and joined her on the adjacent lounger. “What’s so funny? He asked  
“You are your wonderfully white Welsh Butt” she smiled he took off the towel and wiggled it at her.  
\-----  
The honeymoon had to end sometime and though Eryn managed to cope with the morning sickness, it sadly meant they were unable to explore as much as they had hoped. The flight back was ropey too, turbulence making many passengers sick. Eryn ended up simply laid on Taron’s lap in one position and chewing on ice cubes. As Taron stroked her hair and tried his best to distract her. They were so glad to be met at the airport by a driver and soon were back at the London pad. Eryn headed into the En suite and promptly christened the toilet bowl. The motion sickness from the car journey combining with all the other nausea. She stripped and crawled on all fours into bed. Sighing audibly as she felt the comfort of her own bed and bedding.   
Taron left the cases by the kitchen and took Eryn a glass of water. She was already drifting off to sleep as he entered. He crawled over to her and stroked her hair, running his fingers across her forehead. He wriggled down and kissed her stomach, feeling her hands on his head as he did so. He closed his eyes as her fingers massaged his scalp. He smiled softly then rested his head on her stomach. Soon both were asleep.  
The reality hit home nest morning. Eryn woke to see Taron had already got up, she dressed and picked up her phone. She had a bunch of emails and missed calls. She wandered into the kitchen and found her laptop. Seeing Taron’s animated silhouette in the frosted glass door to his office. She left him to it. Making herself a coffee, she found her old spot on the roof top and sighed sitting down and looking out over the London skyline. I was familiar and while she had always felt somewhat out of place when she had lived there. It now bizarrely felt more like home.   
She opened the laptop and made her way through them, working on the ones from her literary agent and publishers. She had taken an extended break for the wedding and now that was coming to an end people were eager to see something new from her. She had some ideas, but the erotica hadn’t done as well as her poetry had, and she wondered if it was the right path after all. She had a few offers to ghost write and a couple of celebrities had autobiographies they needed help with. Eryn thought about trying that, having only done fiction, I would be interesting to see if she could do non.   
She finally finished the emails and her coffee. She picked up the phone and began to trawl though the calls she needed to make. Firstly, to the GP to tell them she was pregnant and begin her ant-natal care. She would be sent a pregnancy pack out in the post with details of all the scans and midwife appointments. It was exciting and made things feel more real. She moved to the pool and sat on the edge, letting her legs drop into the pool. Her thoughts returning to the adventures she and Taron had had in the pool in Hawaii. She laughed as Henny answered the phone call “Hey Babs” she sounded awful “Oh Hen, you still sick? Eryn asked sadly “Actually yes, I’m in hospital babe, this baby sucked me dry, apparently I’m dehydrated” she groaned “Fuck Hen, why the hell didn’t you call, are you ok? Shall I come over? Eryn babbled panicked.  
“Oh God Ren, chill out. I’m fine, I’m on a drip and going home later tonight, it’s all very normal” she assured Eryn “Are you sure? She asked concerned for both Henny and Baby. “Honesty, I already feel so much better, they gave me an anti-sickness something too, it’s great stuff. I can actually keep water down” she laughed lightly “It’s a bugger this pregnancy lark isn’t it? Eryn chuckled rubbing her belly. “Oh, great fun, anyway, How was the honeymoon all rampant fucking and no sightseeing I hope” Eryn could hear Henny grin on the other end as Eryn blushed “Of course” Eryn replied. “Ha Eryn you are a devil in disguise” both women laughed. The chat continued until Eryn found her stomach grumbling and decided it was time to eat.  
She said goodbye and was about to walk downstairs when she met Taron on the staircase “Hello” he said “I wondered where you were, should have known you’d be in your writers spot” he said as they walked back to the lounge. “I was thinking food” she told him wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder, her chest pressed to his back. He held onto her hands “What do you fancy? Or is it a case of what Bymp fancies” he asked jovially. Turning around he bent down “So, little bymp, what do we fancy for lunch? Eryn laughed lightly loving how at ease Taron was with her non-existent bump. It was exactly as she imagined he would be, so attentive, even at such an early stage.   
She saw so much love in his eyes as he spoke and she found herself feeling emotional, knowing her baby would have a father, a real one. One who really cared and would be all that he or she would need. Taron saw her as she swallowed back the feelings, he pulled her into a hug “What’s up? he whispered “Just hormones” she tried, but Taron saw through her thin attempt to lie. “and the truth? He asked softly “I am so proud of you already” she smiled. He looked at her knowingly “I know I don’t need to tell you, how much it means to me to do everything in me to be the best father I can Eryn, We both understand how it feels to not have that, don’t we? He sad looking sadly at her. She nodded kissing his cheek “You are already so natural baby, it just fills my heart so much, but I can’t help but think about my own you know” she sighed “Me too babe, me too” Taron squeezed her lightly and closed his eyes.  
They stood for a short while, holding each other. “Food” Taron said suddenly “Come on let’s order in and have a cwtch, stuff can wait a bit” he smiled and led Eryn to the sofa.


	88. Chapter 88

Chapter 88  
Sniffing it out Draig, looked like a critic checking his new surroundings out. Tina and Guy had brought the girl’s up as Taron had secured premiere tickets to the new big musical theatre show, one written and produced by Tim Minchin and Gary Barlow. It was a must see and they were all very excited. Taron was needed in London for the next 6 months, so they asked Tina to bring Draig to them when they came. He circled the lounge, sniffing out his new bed and pootled over to Taron, sitting and looking at him, Taron cocked an eyebrow “And the results are in Draig, What’s that? you approve Taron laughed “Taron, Draig can’t talk silly” Mari shook her head as Taron grabbed her waist and pulled her onto the floor, blowing raspberries on her stomach “I speak very good dogese I’ll have you know” he told her.   
While Guy checked out the roof garden views with Rosie, Tina and Eryn stood in the kitchen and waited for the kettle. “You feeling better? Tina asked Eryn. “Much, I still get a little sick when I eat, but it’s not too bad” Tina smiled knowingly. “And you are definitely starting to show” Tina smiled “You think so, I thought I just looked fat? She pouted “No, That is most certainly a baby belly” Tina laughed as she placed her hand on Eryn’s stomach. It was starting to look rounded and felt hard. She had chosen a floaty dress to keep it hidden. They didn’t want anyone catching any pictures and beating them to the news. Eryn was particularly anxious about waiting for the 12-week scan, no one knew but Henny and Tina. Guy obviously knew, but the girls had yet to be told even. She certainly had no plan to contact her family.  
Once sat in the lounge with their drinks, They chatted lightly, and the girls played with Draig. He was used to them having spent the last three weeks with them. He had definitely become a daddy’s boy though and his favourite thing appeared to be curling up and laying between Taron’s ankles his head laid on top of one of his feet. Taron loved it and encouraged him terribly. Eryn loved it too, even if she was a little jealous. She always liked to watch him with his sisters too, it was beautiful, having such an awful relationship with her own. She was glad that ‘bymp’ had the best Auntie’s, looking forward to seeing them all together. She spent very little time with Taron’s biological Dad’s children and similar with him too. But knew though the relationships were weaker and maybe less involved, they were still all family and it gave her a sense of relief that she could give her children what she had missed out on. She too knew Taron kept his feelings about his father to himself. She had never pressed for details and left it to him to bring it up. But as she watched him, she decided that it was worth having a go and getting him to open up. Bringing this baby into the world had her thinking so much around family, she was sure it must have been the same for him.  
Soon, it was time to get moving and the group, piled into separate cars. Draig following Taron dutifully looking confused and deserted as Taron, popped him in the puppy pen. “See you later buddy” he smiled and scratched his head.  
In the car Taron took Eryn’s hand in his and rested his other on her small bump, “So, bymp. We are going to the theatre today and when you come out, Mammy and me we will take you to this place lots and lots, sometimes I might even be on the stage, I am going to teach you all there is to know about it, but for now you just need to listen to the music and words and let Mammy not feel sick” he said kissing ‘bymp’ Eryn laughed stroking his face “What do you mean might? You’ll get back on stage in no time, you just need to tell Lindy to look out for something” Eryn told him. He nodded “I think I’m a bit scared to be honest” he admitted, and Eryn looked surprised  
“Of the stage or what? She asked “yeah, with film you have like a million takes to get it right, with theatre you don’t” he kissed her cheek and rested his head on her shoulder “Even more reason to do it then? She said “Face that fear” he sighed “yeah maybe” he closed his eyes, he was exhausted. He had been talking late into the night to American producers about his new film. He was glad to know that only 3 weeks were being shot in Holland, the rest was on the same old studio lots, he knew well.   
She stroked his face, “You need a sleep Welsh Boi” she sighed “yup” he snuggled into her “You can’t get too comfy we are nearly there” she told him. He pulled a face. “What you gonna be like with a baby keeping you up all night? She smiled “Fucked” he replied. The car drew to a halt and he opened his eyes, stretching. Eryn gave him a once over, making sure his hair wasn’t to ruffled or that he had any lipstick transfer and the driver opened the door, Taron stepping out first and the driver holding his hand out for Eryn, she nodded her thanks and stepped out, taking Taron’s hand. This was the first public appearance as husband and wife. They agreed to pictures, but no interviews. After all he was a guest and not cast.   
They walked at a reasonable pace down the carpet and Eryn now used to the flashes and noise walked confidently next Taron. He smiled at her seeing her relaxed demeanour it allowed him to relax too. He squeezed her hand and knowing they had a secret no one knew, gave them a kick. Whispering this to Taron he nodded, “Love it” he smiled. The couple met up with the rest of the family in the foyer and the excited girls nagged to sit next to Eryn. Taron pretended to be hurt and sulk. But they simply ignored him as Eryn offered one to sit each side with her in the middle, which the girls loved. Taron not so much but settled on being one seat away and next to his Mam.  
The show was fantastic and so much fun, Taron however struggled with the darkness and warmth not to fall asleep. So, instead of the dinner that they planned for after the matinee, Tina suggested brunch before they headed back to Aber instead and Taron gratefully and guiltily accepted.  
He was already asleep as Eryn completed her first set of sultry poetry. She decided to have another go at the sexier side of writing, though had thought maybe a few poems or short stories might work better. She had decided that few books covered sex in pregnancy and maybe she could exploit the niche. Sitting in her writers spot, she played with Draig as she typed and enjoyed the winter sunshine. She was wrapped up warm and cosy, it was mild for November and she found herself dreaming of fire side moments, snow and Christmas. She was also finding herself experiencing another interesting side effect of pregnancy, she was pretty much horny constantly.  
She finished up what she was doing and decided that she most definitely wanted to try out what she had just written. She wandered down the stairs and placed her laptop on the counter-top to charge, filling Draig’s bowls. He tootled in behind her and went straight to munching on his tea, As Eryn went into the bedroom and began digging in Taron’s wardrobe for what she wanted.  
Taron had been off out early that morning for meetings and a read through ready for the start of ‘Tetris’. By the time he came in the door, he was feeling pretty fed up. This side of things was always tiresome and had him eager to simply get going.  
He put his bag down and kicked off his shoes. Seeing the light off in the kitchen and on in the bedroom, he assumed Eryn was laying down, possibly feeling rough again. Draig instantly came running, wagging his tail and yapping at Taron’s ankle. He smiled and scooped up the pup, who battered Taron’s neck with laps of his little tongue. “Okay, Okay I get it you missed me” he laughed carrying Draig into the kitchen he placed him in the puppy pen, though Draig was not amused and jumped at the side, whining. Taron did his best to ignore him as he poured himself a drink. Suddenly he jumped out of his skin. Someone was in his office he could see the chair moving, he was sure.   
He took a deep breath in, as he walked over to the door. Opening it slowly a deep scowl on his face. He heard the music and his shoulders dropped. A smile appearing on his face as he turned the chair around his eyes widened. Eryn was wearing one of his suit jackets. It was much to big for her and almost drowned her, she had slung one of his snazzier ties around her neck and had one of his fedora hats on. Her hair was tucked up underneath and she had made herself up in such a way that her long dark eyelashes seemed to draw you to her eyes, her lips were scarlet red and there was a definite air of ‘Bonny and Clyde’ about the whole look.   
He sucked in his bottom lip as his eyes travelled down to her legs, it was clear that the jacket was all that she was wearing, and he moved toward her as soon as he realised. “Hi honey, how was your day? she asked him seductively. “Terrible” he said standing in front of her “Yours? “Productive” she replied nodding. “I like this, it suits you” he said looking at the hat. “Yeah? She asked “Mmm” he said moving toward her to kiss her, she shook her head and stood up. He looked a little confused until she turned him around and pushed him into the chair. Dropping to her knees, she pushed open his legs and moved herself between them, running her hands up his thighs. “You have been working so hard” she said emphasising the word ‘hard’ running her nails over the bulge in his trousers. “I think that you need some help to relax and wind down” She continued, unzipping his flies as she spoke. Slipping her hand inside his trousers, she pulled his cock free and bit her lip looking up at him seductively. She held him firmly and lent down, taking the head into her mouth she felt him fall back further into the chair, she sucked him lightly as he groaned. She left red lipstick marks on his skin.  
But she stopped suddenly and got up walking around the back of the chair, she ran her hands down his chest and unbuttoned his shirt, her hands running across his chest, her fingers in his chest hair turning her on. She felt herself tingling and it took all her patience not to simply grab him. She kissed his neck and jawline, his head reaching for her lips, she moved to the other side. Pulling the tie off her neck, she wrapped it across his chest around the chair back tying him to it. She walked back to the front and pulled off the hat, her hair cascading down causing Taron to exhale heavily as he struggled not to touch her.  
She moved between his legs again and slid his trousers and boxers to the floor. Placing more bright lip marks up his chest, she kissed his stomach and groaned erotically, sending Taron into torment, desperate “Damn baby, I can’t” He tried and Eryn looked delighted at the desire in his eyes, “What you gonna do? she asked fluttering her eyelashes at him.  
Pushing his arms out so that his biceps became taught, his face became firm and he focused on Eryn deeply as he tensed hard, snapping the tie and breaking his bondage. Fireworks ran through Eryn as he stalked toward her and pinned her against the wall, looking dangerously at her.   
He unbuttoned his jacket and slid if off her shoulders. As it hit the floor, he hit her with a deep, lustful kiss. His tongue finding hers and making her whimper as his fingers entered her, he pressed his chest against her. As he rubbed her clit, with his index finger, the rest inside her played her G-spot perfectly. She felt him take her arms and held them above her head as he moved from her lips, down to her breasts, giving both the same attention, one after the other. His lips sucking the soft skin and teeth teasing her nipples. She came hard as he smirked at her “Now who’s in charge? He looked down at her “You are baby” she groaned.   
He kissed her neck and lifting her leg he pushed himself into her gripping her thigh. He smiled cheekily as he dropped to her neck, thrusting hard into her, he kissed her neck as she grabbed his hips and pulled him into her. It wasn’t long before his legs gave in as he came hard and the two of them slumped to the floor, Eryn sliding down the wall. Panting, Taron rolled to the side and leant against the wall too. He laid his head on Eryn’s shoulder, “You minx” he smiled lazily “I swear I would love to spend a day in that head of yours” he chuckled “Oh Taron, you’d never survive” she laughed as she ran her hand over his cheek and along his jawline.   
“You look like you need to get to bed baby” she said looking concerned “ Well, I was already pretty shattered when I got in” he laughed lightly “Aww and now your truly knackered” she pouted a little “Come on” she said getting to her feet and taking Taron’s hands pulled him up from the floor. “You go get into bed and I will make something to eat” she told him. “Why don’t we both go to bed and order in? he offered Eryn smiled “Sounds good” she replied, and she led him to the bedroom.  
\------  
“Babe don’t forget two thirty, Paddington Hospital” Eryn called to Taron as he pulled his shoes on. He returned to the lounge and standing behind the sofa, he leaned over wrapping his arms around her shoulders “Like I would forget” he beamed kissing her cheek. Walking around the sofa he sat next to her and bent down to her belly “Hey bymp we finally get to see you today, don’t worry we all get camera shy at first, but daddy can teach you some tricks, ok? Now give Mammy a decent time today, Daddy’s orders” he said kissing her now more prominent bump. He stroked it gently “That’s a proper preggy belly now isn’t it? He smiled proudly. “Yeah I guess” Eryn replied unsure.  
Taron saw the anxiety in her eyes and knowing her sensitivities around her body image, he fixed her in his vision sternly “You are creating a human being sweetheart and you are even more beautiful, if that’s possible than ever” he smiled sweetly at her. She placed her hand on his cheek and nodded “If it were a ‘proper’ big bump I think I’d feel better, it just feels like I look bloated or fat” she frowned. Taron shook his head, “It’s only your mind lying to you again darling” he told her. “Taron you’re going to be late” Eryn tried to shrug these feelings off, but she was struggling with the changing shape of her body. “I can be late I want to make sure you’re ok first” he told her. She hugged him “Its just all a bit strange, I’m okay and very excited for this afternoon” she told him “Now go! She ordered. “Yes, Mam” he saluted.  
He put on his jacket and threw his bag over his head so that the strap crossed his body, putting his headphones around his neck “I will see you at maternity at 2pm” he grinned kissing her goodbye and headed off to work.   
Around about 11am, Eryn answered the door to a very grateful Henny. She had a bunch of shopping bags and decided to drop by. “Hey Babs, I needed a good old girlie chat with someone who understands” she groaned, dropping the bags by the sofa and plonking herself in it. “coffee? Eryn asked even though she knew the answer and put the kettle on “so what have you been buying? She asked as Henny took off her coat and got comfy “Well, actually that’s the other reason I am here” she grinned “How do you fancy a double baby shower?  



	89. Chapter 89

Chapter 89

The calls from Holland were notoriously difficult, the connection was terrible an Eryn was fed up. Three months seemed forever, she sat on the bathroom floor. The bag open between her legs as she fought back the tears and frustration. She needed him and he was so far away. She held the blade in her hand and turned it over and over. It had been so long, and this was meant to be it, her perfect, happy ever after. She looked at her bump, she no longer worried about looking fat, her bump round and prominent. She dropped the blade and kicked the paraphernalia across the bathroom floor, sobbing.

How could she be back here? This was not the plan, not how it was meant to be? She should be living the fairy tale. She finally calmed down and moved into the bedroom, the laptop open and on constant redial. She lay sideways on top of the made bed and stared into the abyss. The blackness and nothingness in her head. Her hand on her bump, she looked at the framed scan image on the bedside table. Remembering the day, it was taken.

“Mrs Egerton” the sonographer called, and Eryn grinned at Taron, gripping his had tightly as the walked into a room, like a normal doctors office, only dark. Eryn was directed to lay down and the sonographer, lifted her top and squirted cold blue gel onto her bare rounded stomach, pressing hard with the scanner, Eryn winced, Taron holding onto her hand and smiling reassuringly whilst they both tried to make out a familiar shape on the screen. It was impossible, until the sonographer outlined it for them.

Eryn couldn’t move her eyes from the screen, dropping her grip from Taron’s hand. She swallowed. “That is a baby, dear god woman that’s an actual human child, what the hell? Her head reacted explosively outside however was a picture of serenity. Floating out of the room, she saw Taron take a strip of paper and walked with him out to the Van. Not hearing a thing anyone said. She sat in the passenger seat, taking the strip of images from Taron. She stared through them. “Baby? Taron asked seeing her trancelike state. She turned and looked at Taron, her face pleading as she burst into tears and fell on to him “Oh sweetheart” he said lightly holding her tight to him. She slowly stopped crying and looking up smiled at him “Omg Taron, that was surreal” she looked at her bump and stroked it with her hand. He kissed her on the cheek and lingered against her. Resting his head against her temple “This is really happening” he smiled into her as she nodded.

She had felt petrified of telling Taron the emotion and swarming images that had already hit during the short time of the scan, He had flown out to Holland shortly after and now sat at home alone, nothing stopped them. Overwhelmed and desperate, she could only lay in bed and prey for sleep, to stop it all hitting her hard. Laid on the bed now, she her eyes glazed as image after imaged revolved around her.

She closed her eyes, hearing Taron’s soft voice in her ears. Draig pottered over to her and curled up next to the bump, as if to protect the new addition to his pack. Eryn turned and looked at the laptop, seeing movement she focussed “Eryn? Are you ok? Taron asked though he had he mobile out already, sending a txt off to his assistant Mara, to get him on the next flight. “Just tired is all” she mumbled “sorry baby, how are you? She tried to gather herself together, she couldn’t have him know just how low she was, it scared her to admit it. “You look so tired honey have you been sleeping? Taron asked her, It was a ridiculous question, he knew her too well to be misguided and knew this was not that sort of tiredness.

Once he was alone in the car, he coughed “Eryn, baby have you cut? He asked cutting through all the crap. Her eyes widened “Nearly” she managed to say slowly. He smiled a little “I’m so proud of you, I love you darling and I am coming, just hold on for me, please” he asked simply. His eyes burnt into hers as if invisible embers reached into her and held her, emitting the strength that she needed. She breathed deeply and it was as if she came forward from the place she had draw back to. “I will” she told him. “Good girl, it’s ok Eryn, I am here. I will stay on the phone all the time if need be” he told her. “Taron, I don’t …” Taron broke in “No guilt no shame. Remember” he told her, he was furiously tapping texts to Matthew, Lindy and his Mam. Eryn was still in London, so lastly, he tried Henny. Though he hardly wanted two stressed out pregnant women to deal with.

Taron talked to Eryn until he was sure she was sleeping, then ended the call. He couldn’t keep doing this, running back to the UK for Eryn in crisis. He really was getting looks of “Not again” and “How many more”. He was torn, Eryn was pregnant after all, she needed her husband around, didn’t all pregnant women, then there were the complications of having a surrogate also pregnant. He dropped his head into his hands, wondering if he was going to end up having to choose between family and career.

As he landed, he replied to the texts he had accumulated and rang his Mam, She was as always, the voice of calm and reason. She told him to get Eryn back home and that she and the family would of course take care of her there, so he could get back to work. He was immensely grateful and felt stronger, he had a plan. Opening the door to the flat, he was already concerned. The place was dark, all the curtains drawn. Draig didn’t come running straight to him either, he opened the bedroom door and was relieved to see Eryn in the same place he’d left her on the plane.

He went over and glanced at her arms, checking for wounds. But he saw none, she had been honest with him about not cutting and as he looked at her she looked so vulnerable. Draig was curled up by her bump and rested his head on it. “You looking after our little Bymp for me bud? He asked as he reached over, Draig growled a little, until he recognised Taron and began wildly wagging his tail and licking Taron’s hands as he tried to hold him “I missed you to boy, now come on” he said taking the pup and feeding him, then seeing to his bathroom duties. Taron Looked around and cleaned up, opening the curtains.

Once he had put Draig in the puppy pen, he went back into the bedroom and through to the bathroom, he saw the bag in the corner. He knew that she had discarded it all, but it was the fact that it was back at all that bothered him. He collected it up and threw it out in the outside bins.

When he returned, he heard movement and went into the bedroom. Eryn was waking and shame filled her face, before she buried it in the mattress “No” she cried “Taron” she wailed. He moved hurriedly and grabbed her “Eryn, what?” “You can’t be here, you are working, not again, I fuck” she stammered and stumbled unable to articulate. Taron held her tight, “Shut it all off Eryn enough is enough, You can’t stop me coming and you can’t stop being the reason, so enough ok, I will always come for you, I told you that, always” his voice staccato.

Eryn raged, punching the mattress. Anger at the injustice and powerlessness of it all. She punched the wall, Taron missing by seconds. Unable to stop her knuckles cracking against the brick and crunching painfully. “Eryn” he shouted and grabbed her “Stop, fucking Stop” he said holding her tight “Don’t you understand? she said “I detest my entire soul, my very existence, how can I be someone’s mother? She screamed, shaking violently. As Taron rocked her “No, I won’t let you, you are perfection, you are everything good Eryn, you don’t see it, but I do” his eyes were wide, bloodshot and begging. Tears washed his face and stained his shirt as he held her. “You are good baby, you are so good, Eryn” he cried holding her head to his chest. He refused to let her go as they cried together.

“I want to cut this out, this thing, this feeling, why won’t it go Taron” she sobbed “I don’t know, I don’t but we are never ever giving in Eryn, I promised you that much, I won’t let you” They dropped exhausted on to the pillows and held each other tightly for what seemed like hours, Taron resting his hand on Bymp, Eryn’s on top. When Taron felt something weird bubbling under his hand, he dismissed it and began to drift off. But there is was again and this time harder. Eryn looked at him “Is that? Taron asked incredulous Eryn’s lip quivered. “Bymp” she smiled sadly. Taron grinned excitedly and lay a kiss on Eryn’s stomach, in response a rippling feeling ran through her, she felt it and swallowed hard. “Omg Taron, Bymp is moving” he nodded proudly and moving up kissed her, his eyes telling her how he was feeling and how much he loved her. They lay for some time feeling Bymp’s little butterfly motions.

“I think I need to go away somewhere” Eryn quietly spoke “Away? Taron replied questioningly “A psychiatric unit might… Eryn began “No” he stopped her frowning he shook his head “I know that you’re scared, But No baby not that, that’s for…” he stopped “Crazy people” she added He pulled her close to him “You’re not crazy Eryn” he was firm.


	90. Chapter 90

Chapter 90  
Taron stared at the ceiling, his hands under his head. Eryn slept deeply, her head resting close to his neck, he could feel the light in and out of her breath on his skin. It comforted him, knowing her mind was hopefully at peace. He thought about what she had said, how she had been and how far she had come, it seemed like she had made huge strides. But some of what she said that night, reiterated that at the core of it all was still this idea that she was fighting her own self. He didn’t pretend to even begin to know what it felt like, or have any clue how to help, what to do? He wanted to remove all of the guilt she carried too. He understood this better and knew it was easy to tell someone not to feel guilty, but we aren’t always in control of those emotions that have the strongest holds on us.  
He had tried telling her that he had chosen to come back to her, he had made that choice because she needed him, and he loved her. Her response was that he had no choice and that he wouldn’t be human if he ignored her in her distress. It was all a tangled mess. He knew that the guilt fed this gremlin that ate at her and it was a spiral that needed breaking. But as he watched the moonlight and shadows on the paintwork, he couldn’t begin to think how to do it. He rolled on his side and stroked her bump. It was now poking out of Eryn’s nightshirt unable to be contained. He thought about Henny and her bump. He took his phone and sent Henny a text. As he did, he picked up the two scan pictures in one frame off the bedside.  
One week apart, there they were. His babies and already one was getting more of his attention than the other. It was then an idea came to him and he quickly asked Henny. Not expecting a response, he was surprised when he saw the phone light up.  
Taron pushed the cover back and quickly moved to the lounge “Hey Hen, I didn’t mean to wake you” he told her “Bloody heartburn, I’m not sleeping. Besides, I wanted to tell you Taron, when you text I felt something weird, I think it was ‘Nugget’ she laughed “So, your set on Nugget as your nickname then” Taron replied “That’s amazing Hen, oh god I feel so fucking awful” he groaned “T, You’re one man, you can’t be everywhere all the time and I think what you suggested is the best idea. I didn’t know she had gone down again; problem is she doesn’t fucking tell anyone does she? Henny moaned. Taron sighed “She worries Me Hen, One day am I going to find her…” He couldn’t bring himself to finish, but Henny didn’t need him to. “I know Taron, me too. There have been numerous periods when I thought I would get a police visit telling me that Phil or she” she sighed too.  
“How do you handle it? He asked genuinely hoping for advice “I remember how hard it is for a human to kill themselves, the human mind is powerful. I also remember that with every horrific fear I get being friends with her, I get the same uniquely incredible love” she smiled and so did Taron.   
“You can’t keeping running back to her though Taron, She needs to get herself out of these states, I know it sounds cruel and goes against your instincts” Henny was talking kindly, and Taron knew she was talking from experience. “Think of it this way, every time you swoop in and save her, you take away a chance for her to see how capable she is and build up pride in herself and her own ability” Taron thought about what Henny said.  
It made so much sense, He had never thought about it that way. “I’m not saying don’t be there for her, but we have to make her see her worth, if we mollycoddle her and do it all for her, she will continue to rely on others and base her self esteem on them. She’s probably guilt ridden now right? Henny said evenly. Taron confirmed and Henny sighed “See it’s because she doesn’t feel like she deserves help” Henny added. Taron started to understand better and as they talked her was glad to have Henny’s experience and understanding. “So, I can leave tomorrow afternoon about 1pm, be in Aber by 6ish. We can book somewhere for the following evening, Maybe the Glen or Medina? Or should we do it away from others? She asked “I was thinking Mam’s would maybe be more comfortable” Taron said, and Henny agreed   
“Henny?” Taron asked “How are you? I am sorry I haven’t asked, In fact I feel like shit, I missed your scan and then I’ve been so preoccupied” he rambled “Taron like I said, you’re only one man and you’re not my partner, you just worry about the three most important ones right now, I promise I will holler when I need anything” she laughed “I know, I just remember what you said about ‘Nugget’ being second best” he sighed heavily “Nug, is just fine T, I promise you and you are doing just fine, I talk enough for the both of us woah, there he goes” she gasped “This! he said “I’m missing this” he groaned. “Hey if you are that desperate to feel me up, I’m sure she will schedule a performance for you before you head off back to Holland, you aren’t missing anything, we aren’t going anywhere”  
Taron was temporarily sated and thanked Henny for chatting to him, he felt a lot better having done so. They both ended the call sleepily, Taron sat looking at the sky as the sun began to start lighting it up. Draig pootled into the lounge and jumped at the side of the sofa, it being too high to climb. Taron picked him up and set him on his stomach “Hello mate, you have the good life don’t you hey” he smiled as Draig looked at him as if he were listening to him. Taron ran his hand along his back and off the end of his wagging tail, as Draig moved with him. He moved up and licked Taron’s face, Taron in reply made his Chewbacca impression. Draig wasn’t sure about this new noise coming from his human. He froze and bending down growled slightly. Taron burst into laughter repeating the noise, Draig yapped at him, moving nervously toward Taron’s lips, he sniffed them tentatively. Taron opening his mouth he did it again, causing Draig to jump and roll off Taron onto the floor.  
Startled, Draig quickly righted himself and returned to his growling stance, clearly this was a dangerous thing and needed to be warned off. Though it was amusing him greatly, he was gutted when he saw the little pup fall off him and rolled himself off on the floor to join him. He slowly reached out his hand, Draig watching it intently, he stroked between his ears, with his index finger and smoothed his long, velvety ears. pressing slightly at the tips. Knowing Draig loved this and was usually putty in his hands when he did it. He saw the puppy relax a little and close his eyes as Taron repeated the motion, slipping his hand under Draig’s belly he picked him up and held him close to his chest as he took him up to the garden. A second pen had been set up for him up there, to keep the poop to a limited area and Taron gently put Draig in before seeing the sunrise.  
Just as he began to think about going in, Draig having done his business. He saw Eryn coming up the staircase. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and she sat crossed legged next to Taron on the wicker sofa. He turned placing one leg either side and hugged her tightly “You should be sleeping” he told her softly “Pot, Kettle Welsh Boi” She replied croakily. “Yeah I know, he said moving back and running his hands down the tops of her arms, warming his hands as much as her shoulders “What you doing up here? She asked “I was chatting to Henny, she had heartburn and couldn’t sleep, she was feeling flutters too” he smiled “Really? oh my god. She said excitedly, her smiled fading into a sad expression “It feels weird” she said “Because you are carrying one and not both? He asked she looked up at him “You really know me too well” She said turning around and leaning her back against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and rested his hands on her bump.  
“No I was thinking the same, like bymp was getting some kind of preferential treatment, I mean with you I can talk to him or her all the time and he/she is always with you, it’s going to feel weird that ‘Nug’ isn’t” he sighed “Nug? Is that what Hen is calling it?” Eryn asked grinning “Oh god” she groaned “What? Taron asked “We didn’t give her/him a nickname” she said sadly Taron thought for a few moments and stroked bymp. “Well it’s not too late” he said “That’s not the point, We didn’t think to” she closed her eyes. “I know” he sighed. We can’t change it though babe, we just have to do better, and I guess we need to remember he/she doesn’t know, we didn’t” he added “Taron are we terrible parents for not thinking about it? Eryn was earnest. “Eryn, we aren’t terrible anything” he told her firmly. The couple sat snuggling for a while “I wish I could help you babe” Taron said softly “I wish I could stop you feeling all this about yourself, I want you to believe me when I say its just not true” he said his head on her shoulder, he squeezed her above bymp. “I wish I could too” she told him “I know you do, I know” “Your fucking parents, I swear if I ever” he stopped, feeling the anger rising in her. How could anyone plant such a thing in the mind of their child? he would never understand it.  
“Shall we go to bed? He asked “Can’t too snuggly” Eryn said making Taron laugh. “Well, don’t think I’m carrying you? He chuckled “Why? Because I’m a big ole fatty now? She asked, “you are not fat, you are growing our baby” He replied. “I am not carrying you because I‘d be scared I would drop you” he admitted. He pressed gently on her back and pushed her to standing, as he too stood. He took her hand, and she pulled the blanket around her tighter. Leaning over the edge of the pen, Taron scooped up Draig and handed him to Eryn “Hello my baby” She smiled at the wagging Draig. Once in the kitchen they gave him some food and Taron put him in his bed. Before they went and settled snuggled up in bed. “You need to get back to Holland baby” Eryn told him as she lazily watched him stroking her bump and felt the flutters and squirmy movements in her stomach as the baby reacted to him. He was mesmerised and loved the interaction “I know, but I have a couple of things to tie up first” he told her.  
It was already lunchtime by the time they woke next day, Taron quickly showered and dressed. Packing the van up as Eryn made breakfast “We off somewhere? She asked when she saw what he was doing. “I thought you would be better off back in Aber, so I’m driving you back” he smiled. “So, your Mam can keep an eye on me you mean? She sighed “I see through you Welsh Boi” he wrapped his arms around you “You always do Cariad, always” he said looking into her eyes and kissing her sweetly “Is it a bad idea? He asked “No, it makes sense. But what about when you get back? She asked “We will think about that a bit nearer the time, right now I don’t want you to be alone” he said sadly “I’m ok, It’s just the hormones and the Mum stuff, you know” she said looking at her feet. He lifted her chin “I know and if I could be in two places at once, I’d be here with you when that stuff hits, Mam is a good alternative” he smiled “yes, she certainly is, but somethings she can’t do, can she? She said kissing him harder and running her hand into the nape of his neck, making him groan. “O… kay” he said “You are such a distraction Cariad” he said smirking and releasing himself. As she turned back to the pancake mix, she had been whisking.  
After their American style pancakes and some good coffee, They climbed into the van and Eryn snuggled into the passenger seat. Music playing and the November sun low in the sky, she soon drifted off. Waking when instinct alerted her to their arrival across the border. It was so strange, but she felt it each and every time now. She was ‘home’ it was something deep in her, a feeling strong and ancient she couldn’t describe. But she smiled at Taron, knowing he felt it too. Eryn gasped and held her bump as it became clear bymp had also felt something as Eryn felt the most definite hard kick yet, she looked at Taron shocked and amazed “What? Are you ok? Taron asked trying to keep the van steady on the valley roads. She beamed “Now that was a kick” she breathed “I think Bymp knows he/she’s home” she laughed “Taron looked out into the beautiful valleys and mountains around him and smiled.


	91. Chapter 91

Chapter 91  
Eryn felt lighter as they navigated the stunning scenery, the rivers meandering through the forests of pine. You could have been in the rocky mountains or the alps. She imagined taking the children on camping trips and showing them the rapids and waterfalls. Hiking the trails, with one on each of their backs. She smiled at Taron and thought about how much he would adore teaching them all he knew about living and exploring his home county.   
“What? He smiled “what’s that look for? He asked. She explained what she was thinking about and he looked out of the window musing for a short while. Grinning at her “We will have to do that Eryn, you me and our boys” he laughed “and what if they are girls or one of each” she asked “You better be sure these girls are going to be just as capable” she told him “with you as their Mam and the same genetics as my Mam and sisters, Don’t I know it” he laughed.   
Draig began to whine and Eryn undid her belt, climbing into the back, she opened the crate and took him out, returning to her seat, she buckled back up and settled him on top of her small bump. He rested his nose on it and grumbled slightly whenever the baby moved underneath him. It wasn’t long before they were pulling into the drive and Draig was desperate to get out recognising the house. Eryn opened her door and let him go.   
Taron stretched and looked over at Eryn, who was doing the same. He smiled seeing the bump protruding from her as she did so. He moved around the van and pulled her into a hug. She frowned “What’s this for? She asked him “Because you are blooming Cariad, You are so beautiful, I just needed to tell you how much I love you and that this pregnancy looks incredible on you” he spoke softly and genuinely, making Eryn swallow hard. “Baby are you trying to make me blub? Coz these hormones have been making it easy” she told him. He smiled a little “No tears” he shook his head.  
Draig returned to the door and began barking entry “Alright Sir, I’m coming” Taron called as he walked over and opened the front door. Eryn opened the camper and began taking out her case and other bits and bobs. Taron came quickly over, telling her off “Pregnant women do not empty the van, go on go get the kettle on” the ordered. But Eryn put her hands on her hips “Oi Welsh Boi, I am going to let it slide this time, but try and insinuate that us women ought to be in the kitchen whilst you menfolk get on with the heavy stuff again and I will deck you” she told him firmly.   
“You are also sexy when you’re angry feminist side comes out” he smirked. Eryn scowled and went in.  
Taron’s phone had been buzzing all evening and Eryn was intrigued “Spill Welsh Boi” she told him as they snuggled in bed. He tried to look innocent but failed. “It’s just Mam organising Sunday dinner tomorrow” he told her. “That’s a lot of texts for that? Eryn asked suspiciously “Yeah well I am getting others from Matthew and stuff about going back too, Lindy has flights for Tuesday. I said it would be ok” He looked at her waiting for her reaction. She nodded a little sadly “Stop it” he said typing out another text.   
She looked at him “Stop feeling guilty, You needed me, and I came, end of” he said plainly then put the phone down and pulled her closer. Looking at her properly. “You can’t feel bad every time I prioritise you over other things babe” he told her. “Even if you don’t feel it, You are worth so much to me, you are important to me.” He told her, stroking her cheek. “You are worth losing any amount of money or career for” he added as she sighed heavily. “It’s as simple as that” he kissed her lightly. “I feel so bad, You love acting so much, I would never forgive myself if I were the reason you couldn’t do it anymore” she told him.  
Taron was on edge the next morning, He wasn’t entirely sure that Eryn would appreciate the little meeting he and Henny had arranged, especially as she had no idea Henny was currently having breakfast with his mam down the road. He stood on the back doorstep watching Draig and waiting for him to finish his morning routine of circling the garden, sniffing every single tree then returning the same one he always used before toileting. Taron chewed on the Nicorette gum, he was using to try and stop smoking. It tasted like shit, but he was determined that he wasn’t going to have Bymp and Nugget exposed to his second-hand smoke.  
He called Draig in and the pup, dutifully ran over. Picking him up, he shut the door to the cold and put him into the Puppy pen, going back to emptying the dishwasher and the other domestic chores he hoped to relieve Eryn of for the day. Eryn herself was upstairs getting dressed and fed up with her clothes not fitting. “Taron” she shouted down the stairs, waiting at the top.   
Taron walked into the hallway and looked up, Eryn was pouting trousers were undone, her bump preventing the zip from moving anywhere. “Can we go shopping? I think I need to give in to maternity wear” she half smiled. Taron walked up the steps, standing one or two below, he slide his hands around the bump and kissed above Eryn’s navel. Then moved up and kissed Eryn on the lips “If I spend the day with you clothes shopping, then you have to do something for me? He told her. Eryn rolled her eyes “Oh yeah? She smirked, flashing him a knowing smile. “No, not that, god one track mind woman” he scolded cheekily. His face turned serious “Come to my Mam’s this evening and keep an open mind” he said cagily.   
Eryn looked at him “Why do I not like the sound of that? She asked him, noting how serious his face was now. “Just trust me. He urged pulling her into a hug, she rested her arms around his neck. “You know I trust you Welsh Boi” she said her eyes looking into his, trying to work out what he was thinking. “So, is that a yes? He asked “Honestly, now you have me worried, but if I get to buy new clothes, it’s a yes” she smiled lightly.   
Wandering around the shops, Taron wore his old favourite and sunglasses, just in case. It wasn’t normal for anyone in Aber to bother him, but it made him feel better. Eryn was initially worried about how she would feel about buying clothes that were bigger, her body hang ups coming into play. But somehow it was different knowing she had a reason for get bigger, that was not just based on gluttony and laziness. Not that she was either, only her gremlin told her that.  
As Taron, Filled up the van with the many bags and boxes of Eryn’s new wardrobe. She climbed in the front, she was starting to finally feel like a proper pregnant woman now and allowed herself to relax a little bit more. Though she was still intrigued about this visit to Tina and Guy, Had Taron not been so serious about it, she wouldn’t have worried. She knew he was preoccupied and hoped it was nothing to worry about.   
He was quiet on the drive over and this only added to her anxiety. As they pulled up at home, she told him to leave the things in the Van. Taking his hand, she suggested walking Draig down to the house to give him time out and so the girls could play with him. Taron had looked like he wanted to object but changed his mind. Eryn stopped at the gate, turning to him “Okay, what is going on Taron? You’re scaring me, you have barely said a word since we got in the van” she asked searching his face for clues.  
“I thought you said that you trusted me. He smiled lightly. She frowned, whilst walking through the gate. Rosie seeing them through the living room window, came running out. Ignoring the humans, she crouched down and fussed Draig. Coughing Taron looked expectantly at his sister “Hi Taron, Hi Eryn” her eyes widened as she took in the change in Eryn’s body shape. “MAM!!!! She shouted “Mam MAAAAAM” she continued as Taron pressed her into the house and shut the door   
“Rosie, I’m not deaf, what on earth is the matter? Tina huffed. But looking up from her daughter a beaming smile spread across her face as she to too took in Eryn. “Mam Taron’s having a baby” Rosie grinned “Well, I think it’s Eryn actually sweetheart” she told her while moving towards Eryn and hugging her. “Mam don’t start already” Taron groaned seeing his Mam’s face crumple, “But look at you? She cooed stroking Eryn’s bump.  
Eryn felt herself filled with pride, seeing Taron she knew he was feeling the same. His face was bright, and eyes sparkled with exhilaration, loving Rosie’s reaction and finally feeling Eryn enjoying showing off her bump.  
“Do you think we can move on from the hallway, guys” Taron chuckled, and they moved into the lounge. “Where is the bug? Mam” Taron asked looking for Mari, “She’s at Auntie’s, Guy has gone to get her, he won’t be long. But this one is going to bed now, aren’t you? Tina said looking at her daughter. “But Mam I want to know about the baby” Rosie whined. “You can stay until Mari gets back then and you go up to bed with her and your Da” she told her.  
Taron had already moved passed the group and gone into the kitchen to make the tea, while Eryn and Tina talked to Rosie about Bymp. He was still nervous about what was coming but pleased that she seemed to be relaxing into her pregnancy now.  
He took the tray through and put it on the coffee table, pulling Rosie onto his lap they chatted about school and caught up on what had been happening since they last saw each other, intermittently playing with Draig, who had become confused about where his loyalties lay and decided whomever had the treats would win his heart.  
Sipping her tea, Eryn closed her eyes. Feeling worn out from walking around the shops. She chatted to Tina about what she had bought. The door opened with the chattery voice of Mari, laughing and joking with her Dad. Seeing Eryn and Taron though she became over excited and ran over to hug her brother. Before anyone could say a word, Rosie sharply announced to Mari that “Taron was having a baby” making the group laugh again at her mistake, Mari’s eyes drew in as she looked at Eryn’s bump. She thought for a few moments “Is it a sister or a brother? She asked looking to around for her answer.   
“Neither dummy” Rosie answered sarcastically “Well what is it then? Mari retorted sticking her tongue out at her know-it-all sister “It’s a…” she turned to Eryn “What is it a girl or a boy? “We don’t know yet? We have another scan in a weeks’ time” she answered. Taron pulled up the scan images from his phone and showed them to the girls, though they nodded. He was unsure that they had any idea about what they were meant to see in the grainy, black and white images.   
As if Bymp was aware of the conversation topic, Eryn began to feel movements and winked at Taron. Gesturing to her tummy, he understood. “Hey Mari, Rosie come and feel Eryn’s tummy” he told them. They looked quizzically at each other, then fighting each other to get there first, bundled over to the sofa “Easy does it girls please” Tina scolded.   
Mari looked intrigued “What is that? she asked “It’s the baby Mari, you did it to Mammy” Rosie told her. “But what is it doing? Mari asked “She’s swimming silly” Rosie added.   
Taron looked at Eryn and Tina, shaking his head as he saw them tearing up over the sweetness of the conversation. He couldn’t help but feel similar but swallowed hard as he knew what was coming next. Guy coughed “Right girls” he said clapping his hands. They groaned in unison, Looking pleadingly at Eryn and Taron. “How about we take you both out for the day Saturday? I have to go back to work on the Monday, so we can spend the whole day together doing whatever you want” Taron crouched down at them. “Ok” they agreed, though clearly not happy. But seeing both parent’s stern faces and knowing they were not going to win this one, with school the next morning. They said good night to everyone.  
Mari kissed Eryn’s bump “See you later Baby” she said sadly and patted it gently. “Hey Mari” Taron said, bending down he whispered into her ear “Bymp? She asked loudly “Mari, I said it was a secret” Taron laughed incredulously. “Oh” she said looking guilty. “What’s Bymp? Rosie asked sightly put out at not being let into the secret “It’s what we decided to call the baby, until we know if it’s a girl or a boy, like a nickname” He told her.   
Rosie stroked Eryn’s bump absentmindedly, thinking. “I like it” she finally said. “Night, night, Bymp, don’t kick your Mammy like Mari did, she used to hurt her” Rosie said before kissing everyone and heading up. Mari scowled “I did not, did I Mammy? She complained as Tina helped Guy cajole the girls upstairs.  
Eryn looked at Taron as he moved next to her and held her hand, she shook her head. He smiled knowing exactly what she was feeling, her face said it all. It had been such a lovely evening; he was almost unsure whether to go ahead. But he decided it was far too important not too.  
He cleared his throat and turned to her, “Listen Eryn, You know that this is more than just time with my family” he said. She held his hand tighter. “You remember when I was up that night chatting to Henny, well we were talking about you and we thought, well I wanted, to do something” He continued, feeling Eryn tense stopped him. “Don’t worry, I just thought it would be an idea to get together and see what we could do? to help you baby” He said. It was then that Tina and Henny came down, leaving Guy to finish settling the girls.  
“What are you doing here? Eryn asked. Her eyes flitting from each person in the room, trying to understand what was going on. “Is this an intervention? She chuckled, but her face fell. “Sort of Babs” Henny said.   
She too had a visible bump and Taron moved up to let her sit next to Eryn. He felt his heart skip a beat when he saw her but felt his mam’s hand on his shoulder as his hand shook slightly, she held it firmly steadying him He smiled.   
Eryn burst into tears “Jesus” was all she could say, her head falling into her hands. Taron moved quickly and knelt next to her. His hands on hers, he spoke softly. “Eryn?” she took a deep breath.  
“Sorry” she replied, reaching out and resting her hand on Henny’s bump and looking at her friend “This is a bit nuts right now, I mean omg Henny look at you? Look at us?” she laughed lightly turning and looking down at Taron. “And you? What?  
Taron felt stupid, he hadn’t even thought about how they would feel seeing Henny. This was the first time they were seeing her pregnant with their baby, it was a momentous moment and he had just tried to have a family conference at the same time. He felt like an idiot, but he couldn’t stop now.   
Tina sat in the armchair, “Okay Eryn, You, Henny and Taron need time alone to deal with the whole babies thing. But the reason Taron asked us all here, is that we all have been thinking and feeling the same things, You have said it yourself, you have a hard time, you need support when things get rough, but you need the right kind of support Eryn” Tina looked at Taron. But Henny spoke “Babs you can’t keep feeling bad when you are low, its not your fault and I know you know all of what we are all saying on one level, but we are talking about dealing with that other shitty side that ignores everything and makes you do that bullshit” Henny said looking at her arms, Eryn pulled down her cardigan sleeves. Taron rested his hand on her knee and squeezed it. “I have no problem, Eryn being with you when you need me, but Henny made a good point when we talked, you need to get yourself out when these come along. You will feel stronger if you do and you won’t feel guilty and end up moving further down” Taron added.   
Eryn looked around at everyone, tears were pouring from her eyes “You all came here for me? She said through her tears as her lip quivered. Taron stood up and moved behind her, Henny hugged her from the side and Taron from behind, Tina got up too and hugged both Taron and Eryn on the opposite side to Henny.   
Once they had all stopped crying and hugging. Taron sat on the arm of the chair, his arm around Eryn, whilst Henny held her hand and Tina sat on the coffee table in front. “So, what now? Eryn asked, “Well for a start I’m moving in with you here in Aber, util we both pop, I have a project I can work on until the birth from home” She smiled “So you’re my babysitter? Eryn rolled her eyes “No, I am you fucking housemate woman; besides, I will need you as much as you need me with these feisty fuckers” She laughed rubbing her own bump.   
“And now you are back here, you can come down and see us anytime, you need a change of scenery” Tina added “Or a break from me? Henny grinned. Taron will leave our front door key and you can come day or night” Tina offered.  
“And what about you Welsh Boi? Eryn said smiling at Taron. “I will stop worrying about you and you can stop needing to call me home. Both babies will be together, get the same attention too” He said “I’ll be there on the phone unless I can be right here” looking at her to see if he could gauge her thoughts about it all.   
“I am so lucky, I don’t know what to say, Thank you” she said hugging Henny, then Tina. “And as for you” she said scowling at Taron, who grinned at her, overjoyed that things had gone so well. “Thank you” She said kissing him softly “Urgh, get a room” Henny groaned.   
“Well, Now that’s done with, come on ‘Welsh Boi’ get those mitts over here” Henny laughed “Tina he’s been dying to get his hands on me” She laughed, and Tina shook her head. Taron pretended to look scared but laughed as he carefully rested his hands on Henny’s bump for the first time. He took a deep breath as he took in the situation and that this here was his baby too, “Hey Nugget” he whispered. They alternated then, until everyone had felt each of the babies kicking. Eryn resting her hand on Henny and vice versa.   
“I tell you what Taron, I never saw this when I thought of my grandbabies” she laughed. As she handed Taron the tea towel. “Me, either Mam. Eryn and Henny chatted in the lounge, whilst Tina took the opportunity to catch her son alone. “and you? You are ok? She asked him. “It’s a lot Mam, I’m not stupid I know that. But yeah, I am. I mean I wasn’t. But something about tonight, tells me things are going to work themselves out” he told her, kissing her on the cheek. “Two babies Mam, Omg what am I going to do? he grinned. Tina looked at him “You’ll do just fine darling”


	92. Chapter 92

Chapter 92  
Leaving the house, Eryn pulled Taron away down toward the beach “Let’s not go back to the house yet” she urged “I am going to spend far too much time in that box as it is” she added. Taron smiled and placed his hand in hers. They walked in comfortable silence thought for a while.  
Reaching the steepest part of the hill, Taron held tight to Draig’s harness and turned his back to the beach. Holding both of Eryn’s hands he smiled as he led her down the slope. She rolled her eyes, but inside allowed the fuzzy feelings wash over her. She loved how he thought about the little things like that. Such a small thing, but it spoke to her heart so deeply.  
Once they again reached flat ground, Taron ran his arm around her waist. Letting Draig off his harness wasn’t yet and option and Aber beach was not ideal for beach walking. So, they contented themselves with the promenade. It was winter, few tourists or locals around. Meaning Taron felt able to shed his hat and glasses and walk freely. They approached a bench and Eryn tugged Taron to sit.  
Eryn wrapped her arms around Taron’s and rested her head on his upper arm. Closing her eyes she listened to the rumble of the waves as they hit the shoreline. The wind was strong today and the waves large and dramatic. “This was a good idea, Welsh Boi” Eryn sighed. He nodded “I can see, you’re so different down here” he smiled and kissed her head. “Oi save those head kisses for the children” she chided playfully. Mentioning children made Taron think and he looked again at Bymp, running his hand gently over and resting on it.  
“What was going through your head when you saw Hen? he asked staring at the waves as he spoke. Eryn too zoned out. “Exciting, definitely exciting, but weird. Like… that baby is also ours, mine” she told him “I’m sorry babe, I didn’t even think about all the stuff around seeing her when we talked about this thing tonight, I didn’t mean to throw so much at you, I mean it hit me like a ton of bricks, seeing her bump and I felt so stupid, like of course she has a bump, you have a bump and then guilt” he groaned, dropping his head back in exasperation.  
“This is just not going to go away though until they are born, we have to get over the fact that nugget is going to have a different start to things, one where there is an unavoidable distance between us and concentrate more on making sure that all ends once they are both here” as she said ‘both’ and here’ hit her more than she expected.  
“Taron” she said softly “Are you scared? She asked “fucking petrified” he admitted “Did seeing Henny absurdly hit you that we are going to have two, I mean two grown ups and one baby is doable right, but two feels…” she broke off Taron rested his head on top of Eryn’s “oh yes” he exhaled. “But Eryn, it’s good scary right? he asked.  
She laughed “all things considered babe, we went from thinking there would be no baby to two, so fuck yes. Damn when I look out at that ocean and think about the first time, I stepped off the train here to and sat here now, it’s just… god” she said. Taron slipped his arm out and held out his hands “You want to go make out on the pier, for old times? He asked helping her off the bench.  
She laughed “You know I never did get you to spill about what actually happened that night” she said “Ok I can be honest now; I don’t really remember myself” he admitted. Eryn swatted him “You’re kidding me” laughing, he fell back chuckling. “You bugger, all this time I thought you had something over me” she looked at him and shook her head. She crossed her arms and turned away pouting dramatically. Taron closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around her, but she turned her head away from him trying not to smile as he smirked. “I fell in love with you that night” he said the smile on his face meeting a wistful look in his eyes. Eryn rolled her eyes at him. Before settling into his gaze, “You did? She asked feeling the butterflies returning as if she were right back there. “Absolutely” he told her, she grazed her lips across his and he strengthened his hug and pushed his lips harder against hers “It wasn’t you who kissed me either? He told her, trying to hold back his giddiness, he grinned mischievously as open mouthed she looked at him and pretended to scowl.   
“You are in so much trouble Welsh Boi, You do know, that right? She warned, taking the harness from him, she turned and pretended to walk back toward the house, raising her chin to the sky in a melodramatic and playful attempt at mock annoyance and superiority. Taron watched her go for a while, laughing. “That’s fine, go on go ahead but hey who’s going to help you up the hill? He laughed. Eryn flipped the bird at him, nonchalantly. Increasing Taron’s laughter.  
He jogged up to join her, taking her hand and attempting to take the harness too. She squeezed his hand, but held tight to Draig, she actually liked holding his harness while he tottered along. As they continued the walk, Taron tried to break Eryn’s silence, but she simply zipped her lip and smiled or scowled at him.   
They reached the front door and began to take off their boots and coats, Draig making a beeline for his bowl, Taron filled it and flicked the kettle on. Eryn walked into the lounge and pulled the curtains, putting the lights on making it cosy. She turned the fire on and finding her blanket from the back of the armchair, she settled on the armchair. Taron brought the tea’s in and set them on the coffee table. He sat on the floor, between the coffee table and sofa next to where Eryn sat, Turning sideways he rested his head on the cushion.  
Knowing full well the right faces to pull to get his own way, Eryn soon broke. A large smile spreading across her face, she chuckled lightly “You are so cute, but I will get you back” she told him as he scowled at the word ‘cute’. She ran her hand through his hair, and he knelt up, sliding an arm under the cushion behind her and squeezing his arm between the back of the sofa and her side. He looked into her eyes smiling softly and kissing her gently “I’m not cute” he pouted.  
“Right, of course because the way you did that was the least cute thing ever” she replied sarcastically. “This is crap” he said realising that he was no longer able to fit along side Eryn on the sofa. Unable to snuggle properly. “Bymp, you stole my spot” he scolded, lifting Eryn’s top and resting his head next to Bymp. Eryn played gently with his hair, running her hands through it, it was much longer, as he was growing it ready for filming and she loved how it had begun to show the natural curl. She mused about whether bymp and nugget would have similar hair as Taron chatted away to bymp.   
“You know what you could do babe? Eryn said suddenly “I just thought... You could record voice messages for Nugget that Henny could play” she said excitedly. His grin tinged with pride and he kissed Eryn again “That is a great idea, I can do the same for this one while I’m away” he added.  
“I can’t believe I won’t be there in person for the scans, its so shit” he groaned, returning to stroking and looking at bymp. “I know, snapchat isn’t the same, but at least you aren’t missing one and making it to the other, so they will be equal” she tried to find a positive to give him, but wasn’t sure it had worked. As he sighed looking sad. He played with her top as he thought “So, you are sure you don’t want to wait to find out the gender? He smiled “Wait? me? Don’t you know me even at all? She chuckled.  
“What about like they say it giving you something to look forward to? He asked “Isn’t a baby being finally in your arms enough? She laughed. Taron conceded and nodded. “True” he said planting another peck on the soft skin of Bymp’s bump. Seconds after his lips left her body. A small protrusion appeared in almost the exact spot. Taron blinked and tried it again “Babe, did you feel that? He asked “You mean what felt like bymp poking me with a biro, erm yup” she replied wincing. “I saw it” he said looking from Eryn to Bymp and back again. “I mean really saw it like sticking right fucking out” he said shocked “Not surprised really, I felt it too” she replied.   
Taron was now on a mission to try out this new toy, he almost completely dismissed the fact that it caused Eryn some momentary discomfort. He was amazed as he saw the skin stretch and move. It was a little disappointing to see that it wasn’t always in response to him, he tried all sorts, kisses, moving his fingers and hands in a variety of different patterns and movements. He even tried humming and trying to make vibrations, Eryn creasing up as she was tickled and treated both internally and externally by the games.  
“Ok, Jesus Welsh Boi enough” she panted eventually, she tried not to ruin the moment by showing any annoyance, but she was somewhat irritated now, being treated like a guinea pig lost its novelty. Taron saw in her face that he had overdone it and apologised. “I forget that you have to deal with all of this stuff inside and it’s not always fun, is it like an alien is growing in your belly? He asked. Returning to sitting on the floor, turning toward her.  
Draig had settled in front of the fire but seeing Taron’s position made quick work of climbing onto his lap and curled up. Taron chuckled “Alright buddy, make yourself at home” he smiled. “He loves you more than me” Eryn pouted. “You getting jealous? He asked smiling cheekily. “I actually am I know it’s stupid, but it makes me think what if neither of these babies likes /loves you and not me? she tried to look like it wasn’t bothering her as much as it did, but Taron saw through it.   
“It’s not nuts, it’s bloody ludicrous. Bymp and nugget Love you already, unconditionally and entirely” he told her “I know it’s not a competition” she muttered “Eryn, Its okay to think about it, with the way you experienced your early life and the way its left you with issues around love, it would be amazing if you didn’t have mixed emotions, but trust me on this, as someone who knows” he told her “Are you the ‘Love Expert’ now? She asked raising her eyebrows and smirking “Don’t you know it Cariad” he said cocking his eyebrow “I am a heartthrob after all” he continued to pose, as Eryn laughed.  
Seeing Eryn keep yawning, He pulled her up “Bedtime I think” he said “Ok Mr Love Expert” She blew him a kiss, heading up the stairs, Taron put the fire out and took Draig to the garden. Filling the dishwasher as he waited for him, he mused about how well things had gone, and sighed deeply as he considered for himself, some of what was ahead for the couple. Smiling, excited for what he felt was the first time, about the new babies. He settled Draig and joined Eryn upstairs.   
When he got to the bedroom, she was sat up in bed with the laptop open, ordering the duplicates for the nursery. He changed and got ready for bed himself, having a quick shower. Knowing Eryn would probably end up distracted and he had a while to do so. He lathered up the soap and closed his eyes as he washed. His forehead furrowed as he tried to adjust his panicked thinking. He shook himself. “Eryn?” he called. He heard her move, walking across the bedroom and come in, she looked to him questioning. “Can you check something for me? I don’t know if I am freaking out for nothing” Eryn looked at Taron, he was clearly worried.   
He took her hand and placed it between his legs, looking at him she immediately knew what he was leading to and gently she felt his balls. She raised her head and nodded “There is a lump, definitely” she told him.


	93. Chapter 93

Chapter 93  
Taron looked at Eryn, fear filling his eyes. He rinsed himself off as Eryn tried to reassure him. It was obvious that her words were going over his head as she imagined his mind full of little gravestones showing his name. He climbed out of the shower and began to dry himself with the towel, rubbing his hair roughly.  
“Taron Stop” Eryn said finally. Lifting his shoulders, she stood him in front of her “Your mind is going crazy, but right now we have no information, for all we know it could be a cyst or something else benign” He closed his eyes momentarily “I know” he sighed. She pulled him into a hug. His towel falling to the floor. “oops” she chuckled trying to lighten the atmosphere. Raising an eyebrow, Taron shook his head.   
“Dirty, dirty girl” he smirked; Eryn could see though his heart wasn’t in it. She picked up the towel and walked out of the bathroom “You want it, come and get it” she smiled, and he laughed lightly. Following her to the bedroom, she got into the bed and pushed the towel down under the covers. Her facial expression teasing. He crawled over the bed toward her straddling her as best he could. Bymp making it more difficult. “Pretty much dry now anyway” he smirked at her.  
She could still see the anxiety in his eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead against his, she kissed him lightly “I love you Welsh Boi” she whispered to him, pulling him to her. He sighed heavily “Shit, Eryn” he breathed “I know” she replied and held him tightly.   
“I want to tell you to stop thinking about it, but that’s just not going to happen” Eryn sighed as she stroked through the wispy ends of Taron’s hair, teasing the strands of ginger out and smiling at them. It was really late, or extremely early depending on how you looked at it. But neither Taron nor Eryn could sleep. Eryn had hidden Taron’s phone and wouldn’t let him near any way to google. She knew he would only scare himself more.   
“I tell you what why don’t you tell me what you want for your funeral? Eryn groaned in frustration “Taron talk to me? she sighed. “Yeah, let’s do that, that’s a great fucking idea” he snapped. Closing her eyes Eryn felt awful, she hadn’t thought it through, and it came out much harsher than she meant. He sat up and away from her, hugging his knees. Eryn moved forward so she was next to him “I’m sorry, that was … I’m an idiot, I just don’t know what to say or do, I’m hopeless” she shook her head again and with her head down, looked at Taron through her eyelashes, nudging his knee with her bump. “Forgive me… please” she asked him softly.   
He laughed and smiled lightly, resting his head on the top of her arm “It’s ok” he said softly “My brain is fried too, so many what if’s. But I can’t turn it off” he added sadly.  
“Ok so distractions” Eryn said “Usual one’s out, for the time being” she raised her eyebrows and flashed Taron a cheeky smile, he smiled back but his heart really wasn’t in it. “What about baby names? She tried as she laid back uncomfortable in the position as Bymp began to squirm. “I did think of one I liked” Taron offered. Eryn pulled him back to his position on her breast, and resumed playing with his hair, “Okay go on then” she said when she finally got comfortable.   
Taron running his fingers over bymp “Serendipity is it’s a girl” he suggested “Seren is a welsh girls name already so when it’s shortened it still works, but … and don’t give me shit for this, but the word Serendipity also fits don’t you think. I mean it was serendipity that we met and that bymp is even here” he said touches of red coloured his cheeks as he spoke. Eryn looked at him as if she were going to cry, “Taron, I have to ask again, who are you? How it that you can do that? It’s so beautiful, perfect its literally like you reached into my heart or soul and took that out” she told him, swallowing the lump that had formed in throat. He turned his head, a little awkwardly but smiled sweetly up at her, she leant down as best she could and kissed him. “So, I guess that’s a yes to Serendipity” he laughed “That was easy, what about if it’s a boy? And we have to agree on another girl and boy’s name for Nug. I don’t have a perfect sentimental one for that and before you start Taron is a no” he looked up at her, a warning look in his eyes, but a smirk on his lips “I wasn’t going to say Taron, maybe Taran” she laughed “Oh funny” he groaned and she chuckled.  
“Go grab the book your Mam gave me on welsh names?” she told him “It doesn’t have to be Welsh, you are more patriotic than anyone I know who are from Wales, and the Welsh are seriously patriotic people” he said, stretching down and passing Eryn the baby name book from the shelf under her side table.  
“Ok, here we go, I highlighted some I liked before” she grinned “Oh god, go on then” he said moving back into place, her boob making a lovely pillow. “Gryffen? She asked Taron correcting her pronunciation “Not bad, but makes me think of an animal name” he replied “ The thing is so many of these are pronounced different to the spelling, so they look cool then you find out oh that’s just Ian or Owen, Anyway how about Aneurin as is the guy who created the NHS? Or Gawain like the round table knight? Eryn continued to read from the book, but neither would agree on one. “What about Dylan after Dylan Thomas or Cai? I had a teacher at the arts centre, called Cai. He was brilliant. Eryn ran the name around in her mind and smiled at Taron “I like both, Dylan definitely like the poetry link with that, So Dylan for Bymp or Nugg? She asked Stroking bymp he lay close, his lips hovering above he clearly said “Dylan” watching for a reaction, when they got nothing he tried “Cai? Bymp ever so slightly but definitely wriggled. Taron repeated this three more times and each time, coincidentally or not Bymp definitely moved more on ‘Cai’ The couple laughed and settled on Cai or Serendipity for Bymp and Dylan for Nugg.   
“Should we involved Henny in name choosing do you think? Or is that going to be insensitive, Taron asked? Eryn sighed “I don’t know” she mused “Am I selfish if I say it’s not her baby so she doesn’t get a say” she said wincing. Taron laughed “Honestly, I was thinking the same, and wondering if I was also being harsh” he added. “So, are we going with not involving her then? Eryn asked tentatively “Well, I think so, he said rolling on to his front so he could look at Eryn without cricking his neck. “We still need a girl’s name” he pondered out loud. Flicking through the book “I did like Wren? Eryn asked and Taron looked up surprised “It’s kind of like Seren and fits the serendipity thing too, she said, It’s welsh I think, I know I highlighted it in the book” he looked through and found it, “I do like the way it fits with Serendipity, Seren and I like the little bird imagery it’s giving me too, that’s cute” he grinned “my little bird” he raised his eyebrows waiting for Eryn’s agreement. She smiled brightly at him, her face emotional again, she nodded. Her hand protectively now always rested on her bump and she stroked Bymp gently.   
Taron crawled up and kissed her softly, face to face his smiled and kissed her again. Taking his time and resting his lips against hers as he tilted his head perfectly pressing more firmly and causing Eryn to whimper lightly. Something Taron loved to hear. He had told her sometime ago how much he loved it when this happened, now they both smiled inwardly whenever they both heard it. Occasionally they both would have to stop as they laughed together over it, momentarily before resuming the kiss.  
“Thank you” Taron breathed into her neck as he closed his eyes, resting. Eryn knew he meant for distracting her and she was pleased that if only for a short time, she had succeeded. There was little sleep to be had until they had more information about the lump. But at least now they had broken some of the tension since finding it. Taron although now back to thinking about it, was ultimately calmer and out of exhaustion finally fell asleep.  
The following morning as soon as he was awake, he made the call for a GP appointment and was able to get one that morning, which was something of a relief. It didn’t stop him chewing his Nicorette gum aggressively and wishing it were a cigarette in his mouth instead. Eryn did her best to distract him until his appointment. But it was no good.  
Arriving at the surgery, Taron wore his cap and sunglasses, he chewed on his gum and held Eryn’s hand. But could not seem to remain sat still. Eryn had to rub his back a couple of times, to bring down his anxiety as it rose. Finally, they were called in.


	94. Chapter 94

Chapter 94  
“You can see my bare arse in this thing” Taron moaned pacing the space next to the bed. It had been just a few days since the GP had suggested an ultrasound and the couple had been shocked to hear the waiting time was up to 2 weeks. It was a no brainer to go private, when he rang and found out he would be able to be seen that same day.  
Now he was readying for surgery, The ultrasound had given him the news that he did indeed have a sufficient indication of cancerous cells, but as a precaution it was usual to remove the effected area and biopsy it afterward. He was pacing the floor as Tina and Eryn did their best to keep him calm.   
Eryn had taken the initiative and called Tina and Guy round as soon as they got the ultrasound results and filled them in. Eryn always found the way that they bound together amazing, and as much as she tried, she still felt on the outside. She knew that this was her doing and kept it quiet. Even as she watched Tina and Guy hugging Taron.  
The anaesthetist arrived and finally Taron had to lay on the bed as he inserted the cannula into his hand. He was eerily quiet whilst Eryn tried to make jokes and lighten the atmosphere, they seemed to fall on deaf ears although the anaesthetist tried a half-hearted chuckle. It was then time to walk down to theatre. Only one person was allowed to go down with him, and Eryn was already to all Tina to do it when Taron looked at her and flashed her a frightened look. He hugged his mam and Guy again and Tina whispered into his ear. He gripped Eryn’s hand as she rubbed circles on the back of it. They walked normally down the corridor, in no rush to arrive .They reached the door and she kissed him “I will see you in no time” she smiled resolutely “This is the easy bit, just sleep that all you need to do” she told him and he smiled.  
But as soon as the door close, Eryn felt a rush of emotion and burst into tears, holding her bump a nurse appeared at her side and led her to a chair. “Sorry” she mumbled “I think I was holding it all in for him” she breathed as Bymp squirmed as if to empathise with her.   
Eryn caught her breath and calmed herself down. Thanking the nurse, she wandered back to Taron’s room. When she got there Guy was hugging Tina, who was also crying. When they saw each other Tina immediately moved to Eryn and pulled her into a hug too. Soon she felt Guy behind her joining in. She was taken aback when she realised that he too was sobbing.   
Once they had got themselves together, they headed out for a coffee. The surgery was going to be at least 2 hours and they knew that they would be spending a fair while sat in the room with Taron after. Though it was a luxurious room, it was still a hospital room.  
They sat staring into their mugs chatting about nothing when Eryn remembered a little project, she had brought with her. She pulled out a large envelope. She placed 3 smaller envelopes on to the table, she showed Tina what it was all about.  
Each of the envelopes was named Tina & Guy, Henny, and Taron. In each was a laminated scan picture back to back with another. One side was Bymp, one side Nugg. Both Eryn and Henny had been due to have their 20-week scan. Henny being Henny had managed to tweak the hospital appointments to coincide with each other. Neither allowed anyone to tell them the gender, but each scan picture had been placed in an envelope and they had requested that the sonographer put a blue or pink one in the envelope to denote the sex.  
Back at home, Eryn had done her best not to look and succeeded in now having a laminated scan image of both Bymp and Nug in each envelope a pink or blue post it attached to them. It was a complicated procedure and as Eryn explained, she was unsure that the process had not gone over Tina and Guys heads. But they got the gist of what she was trying to do. “I thought that we could open them together, it would give T something to focus on rather than the obvious” she offered as she played with the envelopes “I…” she stuttered “I’m not used to this, It’s usually him taking care of me” she stared at the pattern on the table. Tina taking her hand and setting the envelopes down “It’s a great idea and you’re not alone Eryn, we are all in this together ok, don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to us” she soothed.  
Eryn continued to stare “I’m not scared of him dying, I’m not even going there, That is not happening. It’s seeing him brought low, he’s my rock and I will be his, but I am scared to see him and not recognised him” she finished. “You kidding me” Guy said sitting back in his seat “I have seen you and I know Taron will tell you too, be such a strength and a rock to him, you maybe don’t know it. But you have nothing to be scared about and like Tina said we are here; you are not alone anymore Eryn” he smiled and added his hand to Tina’s.  
The group walked slowly back to Taron’s room. They sat and made small talk or chatted about the babies. When he was finally wheeled back in, he was barely awake and clearly wanted to just sleep. Once settled in bed, he crashed out. Tina and Guy decided they would leave him and Eryn to it, they were still working out how and what to tell the girl’s and didn’t want to leave it too long.  
Eryn say in the high back chair and watched Taron sleep, she stroked his forehead and let his fingers run into his hair, she had seen plenty of images of him when he had shaved it all off, but felt sad that he would possibly lose it. She thought about all the things she knew about cancer and rested her head on the bed next to him.   
She didn’t even realise that she had fallen asleep until she felt a hand on her head. “Hey” he said croakily. She sat up, Bymp complaining to her, not impressed by the position she’d been in for so long. She rubbed her belly and bymp calmed down. Taron chuckled “You have that down now” he remarked. She smiled “How are you feeling? She asked him standing up so she could reach down and kiss him gently.   
“Like I’ve been castrated” he replied trying to raise a laugh “Well that’s to be expected I suppose, are you in pain? She looked into his eyes knowing how stoic he liked to be “No, just groggy and a bit uncomfortable” he told her. He took her hand as she sat on the bed. He shifted over so she could lay next to him and she moved into place, resting her head on his shoulder. They chatted a little, but mostly just sat together, Taron playing with bymp for bit.   
The doctor came in sometime later to fill Taron in on how it had gone and what happened next. He was able to go home in the morning and ,would be sent a letter if he needed any more treatment once the biopsy was done. Eryn was amazed that for some all that they needed was to do the surgery and hoped that this would be the case for Taron too. They relaxed a bit more now, it was done with and having been given the details and stats around testicular cancers, they allowed themselves to be more positive about things.  
Eryn kissed his arm and closed her eyes once they had finished talking to the doctor “Told you it would be all ok” she smiled “Yeah but you’re not the one with plastic bollocks” he replied chuckling. Eryn burst into laughter. “Well you were the one who didn’t want an empty ball bag” she continued. “Well that would just be weird, it would be a waste” he smiled “A waste? What? Well you could keep your keys or your wallet in there? Both of them began getting the giggles and sound they were laughing hard, tears running down their faces.  
\------  
Eryn arrived back home, having finally been convinced that she couldn’t stay the night and was so happy when she found Henny was already there. She now had her own key. “Hey Babs” she said trying to hug her, their bumps getting in the way. Making them laugh. Draig was yapping in the kitchen, so they went through to where he was and Eryn picked him up fussing him and letting him out the back door.  
“How is he? She asked “Yeah he’s good” she mused “But Hen, That’s the easy bit isn’t it? It’s the headfuck that comes with it” she added “Yeah, well he has you and you know all about that kind of shit” she replied “Have you moved in alright? Eryn asked wanting something else to think about. “Yeah, but is it not pointless if Taron’ll be around now? She asked “Hen, I want you here anyway, Taron is all well and good, but you and I are literally going through the same shit. Does Nug bloody hurt when it moves around? Eryn asked “Ahhh fuck yes” Henny laughed.  
Handing Henny a cuppa, she brough Draig in and filled his bowl “Babs I would help you, but we are both in the same predicament” she said seeing her struggle to lay the bowl down. They then moved into the lounge “Hen? Shall we just get on out jammies and chill In one of our beds? Eryn said looking at the sofa and hard back armchairs. “Oh god yes please, I need to get this damn bra off” Henny groaned.  
Soon, both Henny and Eryn were stretched out on Henny’s bed chatting and sharing their pregnancy gripes, the TV running in the background. Eryn sighed “Omg Hen, this is like the first time they are spending any time together, do you think they know? Eryn asked. Henny looked at their bumps and then to Eryn “You really worry don’t you about this stuff? Henny asked “Oh Hen, I just don’t ever want them to feel either one is more loved, more important or less anything” she pouted, tears in her eyes. “Trust me Eryn, I know that nug is not mine, but I am giving her all the love and care you guys would if she were in there with Bymp, I know what I said when I was angry. I was wrong to have said that. You are not your Mam and Taron is not your Dad Ren not even fucking close, I know how much you already love both our babies and they do too” She said reaching over and taking Eryn’s hand she placed it on her bump and put hers on Eryn’s.


	95. Chapter 95

Chapter 95  
With Taron tucked up in bed, his scripts on one side of him and his laptop, phone and all the snacks and drinks he would need. Eryn and Henny decided to take Tina out and have a girlie morning. They had a coffee in the Cabin and caught up with Eve, before getting their nails done at the tan shop. Henny decided to go and explore the area and Tina headed home ready for the girls return from school. Today they were going to fill them in about Taron.  
Eryn slowly climbed the stairs and found Taron had fallen asleep. Draig curled up next to his head, They looked adorable nose to nose. Eryn quietly removed the items littering the bed and kissed both Taron and Draig on the head. She ran a bath and climbed into the bubbly warmth.  
Dropping his shoulders, she closes her eyes, these were her favourite times, when she was alone with Bymp, she would talk away. Explaining her thoughts and feelings, her dreams for the future. She let the warm water trickle over her bump and watched as rippled appeared in her skin. As time passed, she was feeling bymp getting bigger inside, taking up less room now, she could feel more definite movements and knew if it was an arm, leg or back pressing outward. Even more awkwardly she found Bymp developing a new and uncomfortable habit of stretching out, his/her feet in Eryn’s bladder whilst simultaneously pressing his/ her head into her rib cage and abdomen. It was very alarming and pretty painful. All Eryn could do was wait for bymp to choose to change position. But she was warm and comfy now, enjoying the relaxation.   
She lay and thought about what Henny had said about how far she had come and thought about all that had happened in the short time since she first came to Aber. That image from the newspaper that Phil had given them came into her mind. It almost seemed like it had happened to another woman. She tried not to allow her mind to wander to much to her own mother, but it was hard not too with becoming one herself.   
She couldn’t understand it, even now with Bymp in her she felt impulses and reactions she never had before to this small creature. It was instinctual and automatic, something very old and deeply inside her was definitely being awakened and she simply couldn’t understand how anyone let alone a mother could harm a child. She sighed heavily as she lamented her bad luck to have been born into the family she had been. “Still you little one and Nug, have it good, you lucked right out” she smiled.   
Eryn dried and dressed in a loose cotton nightie. Sitting on the side of the bed, Taron and Draig slept still. Though no longer nose to nose, instead Draig had curled up under Taron’s chin, his head poking out of the duvet. They looked very cute and Eryn couldn’t not take a picture. Forgetting about the flash, she cringed as it caused Taron to screw his eyes tighter shut and begin stirring. “What are you taking pictures of? Taron asked groggily. “Just the cutest couple I know” she whispered “sorry I woke you” she said manoeuvring herself to get comfy. He too moved himself, stiff from sleeping in the one position. He sucked in air through his teeth sharply as pain hit him, He hadn’t been following the doctors pain medication regime, now he was regretting it. Eryn got up and walking around the end of the bed handed him the glass of water, popping the painkillers into his hand, he threw them into his mouth and gulped down the water. Leaning back, he sighed. Screwing up his eyes in pain.   
Eryn climbed back in and placed a pillow between her legs as well as one under her bump. She had orders some pregnancy pillows but for now she had to make do. She had placed the tray table for the bed under the duvet for Taron, it created a space around his pelvis, so the movement of the duvet fabric didn’t rub. He was really impressed by her ingenuity and skill. Moving the pillows around him, they both finally found positions they were good with. “It now one of us needs the loo” Taron chuckled Eryn rested her head on his arm. “Oh god don’t, bymp keeps pressing on my bladder, I’m peeing so much” she grimaced. “We make a great pair right, now don’t we? Look at us” he laughed, wincing as the movement caught him. “eesh take it easy sweetheart” Eryn urged. Eryn and Taron sat in silence for a little while.  
“So, I looked up chemo” Taron suddenly admitted Eryn tutted and rolled her eyes “You can’t help yourself, can you? She chided. “It’s pointless because you (a) don’t know you will even need it and (b) get a bespoke chemo regime anyway if you do need it and you say I am impatient” she told him. “I know, but I wanted to see what to expect, it’s not good babe” he said his voice dropping. “Which is why we don’t google Welsh Boi” she replied. He nodded “I know cross that bridge when we get to it, but that would be great if my brain wasn’t over thinking it all anyway” he admitted “Ok so come on then, if it’s getting to you, talk to me about it all” she told him.  
“You know that unnecessary worries die as soon as they are shared” she repeated what they had learnt in their respective therapies, mimicking the therapist. Taron chuckled lightly trying not to cause himself pain again. He began to talk to Eryn “It’s such excellent timing, I should be supporting you and Henny not fucking having to fight for my own fucking health” he scowled “I know you want to take care of us babe, but look at us, Henny and me, we are doing great and if we need something we can lean on each other” she told him “Great so I’m not needed at all” he huffed “You know that’s not what I meant” Eryn said smarting from his comment “I was trying to tell you we will be ok, yes its shitty because you want to do it, but what we need is you alive and healthy, that is the most important thing Taron” she looked teary as she spoke and Taron knew he had been hard “I know, I’m sorry, It’s just when I thought we had got everything sorted out this happens, it’s frustrating” he exhaled heavily.   
“You know I’ve not heard you mention work in all of this” Eryn said “what about it? I mean I’m done for now aren’t I, I’m never coming back from this, I have to accept that I have had it all” he said dismissively but Eryn could feel the strength of how much pain there was behind his words and hugged his arm. “It is NOT fucking over Taron, no way. There is just a lot of other stuff getting in the way, maybe that’s telling you to step away for a while” she suggested “As painful as I know that is, I am telling you now your acting is just too incredible to ever not be in demand” She added kissing his arm.  
He exhaled again, moving his arm he placed in around her shoulders and she wriggled in laying her head on his chest “You really think? He said softly “It’s not all over” Eryn shook her head “I know I am biased, but I mean it, you are just too good and you want it too badly, besides Matt is never gonna not want to put you in his films” she smiled and Taron smiled too. “You’re right of course, talking about it has made me feel better, thank you cariad” he muttered “shut up with your thank you, I love you, it comes with it” she nudged him lightly with her chin.   
“fuck” Eryn cried out suddenly, making Taron jump and groan from the sudden pain “Shit sorry” Eryn groaned and explained Bymp’s new stretching out game as she stroked her bump and tried to get bymp to move, Taron could only look on and process what was happening, Eryn looked like she knew what she was doing but also like she was in pain. “Bymp, Don’t hurt your mam” he told her bump “Joining Eryn in trying to move it. Finally, after some time, bymp relaxed and Eryn panting sighed heavily as she recovered “That was fun” she commented sarcastically, Taron gave her a sympathetic look and ran his hand down her cheek, tucking her fringe behind her ear. “Well they don’t talk about that in the pregnancy books” he said kissing her lightly. “No, there is a lot they don’t fucking tell you” she groaned.

Next day, the call came in from Taron’s oncologist. The results were not good but not catastrophic either. He was officially diagnosed as having stage 1 Testicular cancer. It was caught early enough that although it was present in both testes, it had not spread further, Which was a relief. It was however looking like an aggressive type and therefore a course of chemotherapy was advised. This meant 6 weeks of infusions followed by a four-week break and testing to check on the progress of the treatment. A decision would be made then as to how to proceed. Taron was quiet throughout and Eryn spoke for him when the oncologist asked most questions, though he did speak up when needed to do so.   
“I better call Lindy and you should call your Mam” Eryn said as she slipped into her usual coping mechanism of organising and avoiding thinking. But when she saw Taron, his head in his hands sobbing like a baby. She lost it too. Sitting next to him he fell onto her and bawled his eyes out as she too cried for what felt like hours. Taking his hand, she led him upstairs and they lay in each other’s arms, silently listening to Taron’s Joanie Mitchell playlist and zoning out.  
It was then Eryn remembered the envelopes, she reached into her bag that was leaning against the bedside table and pulled it out. “I was meant to save this so we could all do it together but fuck it” she told him. He looked confused but took the envelope. His eyes were red and bloodshot from crying so, he put on his glasses and opened the envelope as Eryn explained it to him. He stopped “So, in this envelope there are two scan pictures each with a post it note denoting the babies sex” she nodded a smile played on his lips as he opened it and took the first laminated image out, stuck to it was a pink post it “A girl” he grinned excitedly then looked to see who’s scan it was “Henny’s” he swallowed “Omg Eryn Nug is a girl” he began to tear up again, only this time the tears were happy ones. Eryn’s breath caught in her throat as she felt overwhelmed, more tears covering her cheeks too, She wrapped her arms around Taron and squeezed hard “Baby, you’re cutting off my air” he chuckled. “Come on I want to know about bymp” he said and hurriedly she let go also excited, he pulled the second scan out and a flash of pink hit their eyes “TWO” Taron shouted “Oh my fucking god, More fucking girls” he laughed incredulously laughing. He looked at Eryn who was in a daze “Seren and Wren” she said softly, her face a picture of sentimental emotion. This time Taron pulled Eryn to him and kissed her, his eyes twinkled with pride and love as he looked into hers “wow, baby” was all he could say.  
Looking down. He lay his hand on Eryn’s bump, “Well there you go my little girl, now we know Seren” he beamed peppering her tummy with kisses. Tickling her and making her laugh, crying for him to stop.   
“Are you disappointed that neither is a boy? Eryn asked Taron thought for a minute and shook his head “There is always the future for that I suppose” Eryn added Taron again looked sad “Eryn did you forget what just happened? He asked “No, we literally have more babies on ice, don’t underestimate Welsh Boi” she smiled. He looked at her and decided to revel in the good news and not let those thoughts sit with him. He grinned at Eryn “This family has strong female swimmers, that’s for certain. I can see me needing a lot of trips out with the lads” he laughed.


	96. Chapter 96

Chapter 96  
Taron was on the mend pretty quickly and was able to carefully potter around the house. He was instantly fed up with staying put upstairs and with Guy switching out the lounge chairs for some decent recliners, The lounge became the centre of action in the house. Eryn taking up the other recliner and Henny the sofa, the trio would sit and read Taron’s scripts, each taking on a role and acting it out for him. Mostly, it worked well even if they ended up in hysterical giggles often, it made some of the appalling literature better. But I was an excellent distraction from the niggles and aches they all were feeling.  
But time marched on and tomorrow the announcement went out, that not only were their two babies on the way along with the complicated explanation of the situation, but it would also inform the world of Taron’s diagnosis and subsequent step away from the world. It coincided with day one of the dreaded chemo. So, today was a day of ignorant bliss.  
At 1o’clock though a knock was heard on the front door, each of three looking to the other to see who would end up having to move. Eryn threw a rock shape forward as she defeated Taron and Henny’s useless scissors. Taron was defeated in the final round by her rock as he went with a repeat of the snipping motion. He groaned and walked gingerly, putting it on a bit in an attempt to raise some sympathy. That was missed completely by Eryn and Henny. Opening the door Taron beamed “Deian” He breathed “Mate”. The friends hugged and Taron led Deian into the lounge. He said hello to the pregnant duo and Taron guided hi out to the kitchen away from the womenfolk to chat. “Actually mate, I wanted to invite you out tonight for a swift one, if you are feeling up to it” Deian said. His eyes glancing down to Taron’s crotch and back.  
Taron chuckled “Not up for a big one, but a pint sounds good” he nodded “You feeling hen pecked” Deian laughed “I’m literally surrounded by oestrogen man, even the babies are bloody female” he grimaced “yeah we have a lot to talk about mate, so that’s a deal then” he said getting back up, seeing Taron move to stand too he shook his head “ I know where the door is, I will come get you about 8pm yeah? He asked “Sounds fucking ace mate” he answered.  
He wandered into the lounge and filled the girls in on the plans, he took himself off for a shower and to change. Under the water he had he first opportunity to get a look and feel for the changes to his body. He was pleasantly surprised that it all felt almost as it had before. He was reassured by this. He was buoyed by the news and dressed smartly, feeling normal again and allowing the negative thoughts to subside.  
He kissed Eryn goodbye and pecked Henny on the cheek as he saw Deian arriving, he practically ran out of the door. He chatted away on the drive and soon they pulled up outside Rummers, the boys favourite drinking spot. Walking into the bar a rousing cheer went up and Taron swallowed hard as he saw all his mates together, every single man sported a freshly shaved head and each hugged Taron in turn. He couldn’t have been more emotional and shoved his tears deep inside, as he fell easily back into the banter and camaraderie of his tribe.  
Meanwhile at the house Eryn and Henny were bored and looking for mischief,   
“What about that one? Henny laughed showing Eryn the image on her phone. They had got chatting about sex as usual, in particular the difficulties of doing the dirty, with a massive bump in the way. “I know2 Eryn called from the kitchen, carrying through the mugs of coffee they wished were glasses of vino. “Do you remember position of the week? Eryn laughed “Omg in More magazine, we used to flick straight to it every time” Henny cackled “So, Karma sutra” Henny typed into google.  
The girls were soon in fits of giggles sharing the positions they found online and trying them out. Soon they were in a pile on the floor, laughing hard and hoping their bladders would hold out, “Ahh Babs” Henny sighed hugging Eryn “I’ve missed you, that bloke takes up all my playtime” she added wistfully. “Sorry Hen, but he’s got moves you ain’t” she giggled, her accent dropping back to her native tone.   
“True, but does it all still work? Henny asked Eryn looked at Henny and a seriousness fell over the conversation. “dunno yet, bit early to know” Henny’s face fell “Really, shit Eryn it was a joke, it’s just his balls they cut off though, right?” she moved herself back onto one of the recliners as Eryn did the same “Yeah, but the testosterone comes from there and I don’t know whether it means he can come you know? She mused Henny turned again to her phone “ Its not really clear to be honest, it just talks about sperm, but I assume there is not liquid either, that’s going to be weird for him, not bad for you though eh” she chuckled “no spit or swallow” she added Eryn groaned “Hen”  
As the night wore on the girls, moved upstairs and got comfy in Henny’s room. They were fast asleep when a very drunken Taron was escorted to his bed by Deian. “Mate tonight was lush” Taron mumbled as he tried to removed his trainers and winced. Finally, the show came off and flew across the room landing with a loud crash onto Eryn’s dressing table, send her make up all over. “ooops” Taron chuckled ssshing Deian loudly. The noise woke Eryn, who slipped out of bed and seeing Deian’s now bald head smiled, her focus turning to Taron. Now bald too. Deian apologised for the state Taron was in “My wife, my beautiful woman and baby” Taron crooned. Trying to walk her stumbled realising he still had one trainer on. He pulled it free and was about to get up when Eryn appeared in front of him and stopped him. He lay his head on her bump and closed his eyes.  
“You go Deian, I’ve got this” she told him smiling. “Did you all do that? She asked gesturing to his head “Yeah, well we wanted to show T that we were all here for him, y’know” he looked at floor “Eryn if he or you need anything just let us guys know yeah” he added before leaving her to it. Taron looked as though he had fallen asleep where he was, and Eryn ran her hand over his scalp. She wasn’t sure she liked this new look; it was a bit too real. But shook the thoughts from her mind and concentrated on getting Taron to bed.   
She removed his clothes and helped him into his support wear, the doctors had given him. “You are meant to wear these all the time Welsh boy” she chided him “Not sexy” he moaned “Oh and who needs to see your sexy undies? She asked playfully “Only you” he answered his eyes remaining closed and breath heavy. She smiled “You are always sexy baby, never mind what you’re wearing” she whispered. A wide smile rested on his cheeks as she settled down next to him under the covers.  
She took a chance and allowed her hand to travel down. With the lightest touch she slipped her hand under the support wear. Taron opened his eyes alarmed and looked at her anxiously. She kissed his lips gently and using the kiss to distract him, she let her fingers feather light glance across his dick, wrapping them around his shaft and resting in place. He looked directly into her eyes and nodded.  
He wrapped his own hand around Eryn’s hold her hand in place. She took his wrist and removed it “I won’t hurt you, trust me” she whispered into his ear. He closed his eyes and allowed Eryn’s hands and light finger touch to do their magic. He was scared he wouldn’t get hard, but he couldn’t help being scared he would, and it would hurt. But as he felt the usual tingles and sensations of pleasure as she let her hand run the length of him, barely applying pressure, but enough to encourage his erection to grow. He was soon hard and emitting groans as he came. The familiar rush of feelings were interrupted as he became aware of what was missing.  
Eryn’s hand was on his stomach now, she kissed his stomach and travelled up to his neck. “Talk to me baby? She said lightly “I know that must have been weird” she added. Smiling at her for knowing exactly what she was thinking, he sighed “It was amazing, as always. But yeah I guess I have to get used to not actually coming I guess” he mused “I know, it’s kind of weird for me too, it’s like the thing I reply on to know I got you to come isn’t there now” she told him. He ran his hand across her cheek and pulled her to him. Kissing her he breathed her in and rested his lips against hers “You got me” he chuckled “It’s just a lot cleaner now” he laughed. Eryn looked deeply into his eyes for signs that the jokes were hiding his pain and anxiety and visibly relaxed when she saw none.   
Closing their eyes, they disappeared into their own thoughts and soon were asleep.


	97. Chapter 97

Chapter 97  
A hangover was not what you want on the day you begin chemotherapy. Taron thought as he looked at himself in the mirror and brushed his teeth. His phone had already been going nuts as the announcement went out and the papers were full of his diagnosis and the baby news. It was clever of United to release both news at the same time, causing a confusion over what to print.  
Taron was glad he had opted for private treatment, it meant he could remain at home and have the chemo in his office away from anyone who wanted to bug him. The nurses arrived downstairs and he heard Eryn and Henny greet them, his mam offering them a cuppa of course. He ran his hand across his bald head and took a deep breath.   
He walked into the kitchen, greeting the nurses Joy and Kay. Eryn directed them to Taron’s office to set up and Taron followed getting his things organised. He would have to sit for 2 hours while the infusion was administered. He had his book and headphones, a bottle of water and some healthy snacks. He could of course call on the women who were already fussing around, but he wanted this first time to himself. To think and meditate over what was happening to his body. He sat in the chair ready as the chatter diminished with Kay shutting the door. The pair had already washed their hands and now sterilised them. Joy setting up the drip stand and infuser, fixing the chemotherapy into the syringe driver at the base. Taron watched fascinated. As Kay cleaned the Hickman line protruding from his chest. She attached the line and sat back completing the paperwork.  
“And that’s it Taron, you just have to sit and let the machine do the work for the next couple of hours. You can walk about if you wish, but better to sit quietly” said Kay. “How often do I have these? he asked, “We’ll come twice a week and do the same thing, check how you are doing and monitor any side effects” Kay replied. “Taron you most likely won’t feel much difference until the 2nd or third infusion, so be prepared, it can hit some people like a tonne of bricks” she warned him.  
“I have already gone over these with Eryn, it’s the injections for your testosterone, and we will monitor this too. So, tell us if you have any side effects and I mean any, don’t be worried to tell me if you can’t get an erection or your rampantly horny all the time, it can take a while to get the right level for you” she smiled and he nodded “it’s in the arse isn’t it? He asked and the women laughed “Yes, that’s why I ran through it with Eryn, I think she’ll be most likely delivering it. “Right, cuppa I think we will give you a bit of space to chill, give us a shout if you need us ok” Joy and Kay went to the kitchen to fill everyone in.   
Eryn slipped into the office. She had been put out when she realised it had all been done and no one had told her. But seeing him comfortable, made her feel better. She perched as best she could on the arm and kissed his cheek. Once alone she asked him how he felt “It’s just like a normal drip to be honest except it goes in here” he said pulling down the neck of his T-shirt” Eryn smiled and kissed him again “How about you? Are you good? He asked sensing her unrest. She looked at the driver and tubes and quickly wiped away the tears. “Hey” he said softly and standing up he held her. His grip tight around her “I’m okay” he said “I know, it’s just the bald head and the tubes and everything, you look like a cancer patient” she mumbled frustrated at herself she rubbed her eyes “Well I am” Taron replied “I know, it just feels real now” she added and Taron rocked her gently as he got Alexa to play their favourite playlist.   
Tina opened the door but taking in the scene shut it again. Taron closed his eyes as did Eryn and listening to the music, letting it wash over them, Eryn rested her head on his shoulder as they slow danced. When the track ended, Taron moved away and kissed her on the nose “Come on, no feeling sorry for us ok? He added “I tell you what give me an hour or so with my book and then, I know you are dying to look at prams and car seats and stuff so we can do that after yeah? He asked. She nodded and sighed “I love you welsh boi” she told him, “Come on softy” he replied and hugged her again “I love you too cariad and I am not going anywhere ok” he whispered “ok” she breathed.  
Seren gave him a sharp kick as if she were being squashed by the hug, it made the couple laugh “See Seren gets it Mammy, stop fretting” he said. Eryn was wearing a dungaree dress and rollneck top, meaning Taron couldn’t kiss her actually tummy, but settled on kissing what he could “Seren go keep Mammy busy for Daddy for an hour or so” he told her “Don’t say that she’ll be causing all sorts of mayhem” she told him. Just then there was a knock on the door.  
“Only me” called Tina, “Is it safe now, I didn’t want to interrupt, what was the sweetest thing” she smiled Eryn blushed a little and Taron groaned “oh mam” he went to sit “hang on young man, give your Mam a kiss and cuddle before you get comfy again” she told him. He obliged and felt her hold him tighter than normal, feeling that she needed this hug more than she wanted to let on” he kissed her cheek “I’m ok Mam” he told her “You women, I don’t know. I am ok I promise I would tell you if I wasn’t so go on leave me be” he pretended to sound grumpy. So, Tina took Eryn’s hand and went back to the lounge. Eryn was amazed when she walked in, the lounge was a mess of samples and catalogues Henny was sat in the middle of them with her laptop open. “Eve’s said the 28th April is fine” She told Tina.  
“someone want to explain” Eryn asked as she dropped into the recliner and pulled the handle to raise her swollen ankles. Tina found room on the sofa and put on her reading glasses. “Baby shower! Ren get with the programme” Henny laughed “Oh right yeah” she smiled.  
The morning went quickly, as they agreed and disagreed on what they wanted for the joint shower. But they finally had most things set and Eryn found she was looking forward to it “So girl’s tell me, have you started your birth classes and all that yet?” Tina asked “Not yet, I don’t even want to think about how this is coming out yet” Henny retorted “I signed us up for the NCT classes right at the beginning Hen don’t worry” Eryn laughed “ You bitch, no seriously all that huffing and puffing bollocks, poor old Taron what’s he gonna do bounce from one of us to the other” she laughed “Well Tina is my 2nd birth partner Hen, It would normally be you” she said sticking a post it not to the picture of the cake she liked “Henny, I can be yours too if you would like, I mean unless your own mam” she stopped not sure if like Eryn her mam was out of the picture.  
“ My mam died 18 years ago now Tina, but if you really would do that I would love it if you’d be my birth partner” she said softly, Tina got up and hugged Henny “ Darling I’m so sorry to hear that about your Mam, but it’s really been like I got you both when Taron met Eryn, like I got two extra daughters, I love it” she beamed. “Not sure Taron is loving the female domination of his world so much” Eryn mused “ He couldn’t wait to get out with the guys last night” she laughed “I’m not surprised though” said Tina “ I think Guy felt a bit like that when I had the girls, he’d disappear off with Taron for hikes and fishing, as if he needed ‘Man time’ she told them. “Done” Henny declared “all booked and ordered” she smiled.   
“Me too” Taron announced coming into the lounge. The nursing team had already left and Taron apart from looking a bit green, seemed upbeat. He walked round behind Eryn’s chair and placed his hands on her shoulders looking at what they were doing “What is all this? “Baby shower of course” Henny said sarcastically. “Cool looks good, I might take the dog out for a walk, while you do this” he offered “Er no you won’t, no strenuous walking Dr Greenall said for a week after” Eryn told him “It won’t be strenuous” he griped “With the hills and Draig pulling on the lead, I don’t think so matey” Tina added in. “Great, is this how it is now, you lot ganging up on me over every little thing” he snapped and walked out, heading upstairs. “You going after him then? asked Henny “No, he can have some time to cool down, but maybe we do need to give him some space” she replied “Henny why don’t you stay the night at mine? Tina offered, she had read between the lines and knew what Eryn was getting at.  
“Yeah sounds like a plan” Henny smiled “I’ll pack a bag” she added. “Thank you” Eryn looked at Henny and Tina. It had been a great morning and she felt like they had bonded amazingly. Now she needed to take care of her man. She walked up the staircase, they were becoming more of a struggle the bigger she got. As she reached the bedroom, she saw Taron laid on the bed scrolling through his phone, anger etched on his face as he read.  
She closed the door quietly leaving Henny and Tina to slip out the front door. She walked over to Taron and bopped him with her bump in the forehead. He dropped his head and sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean” he broke off “It’s all good” Eryn replied and bopped him again. He laughed “What is this? He asked kissing her bump as she moved it again toward him shrugging her shoulders. “Seren wanted to cheer her Daddy up I guess” she smiled “she did? He asked looking at Eryn, “Look at you making shit up for me? he laughed making Eryn laugh too. He ran his hands around her and pulled her to the bed. She lay down and he rested his head above her bump so he could stroke it. Unclipping her dungarees, she pulled them off and dropped them to the floor, along with her tights.   
She looked at Taron longingly and he instinctively moved to sit behind her on the edge of the bed pulling the roll neck off, he dropped it on the floor and unclipped her bra, her breasts dropping out. She stood and slid her knickers off as he pulled his t-shirt and jeans off. He stopped awkwardly and pulled back the cover, getting underneath still in his support strap. Eryn stood next to him as he took in her naked pregnant shape he grinned “You are so sexy” he breathed “I actually do feel it” she grinned “ahhhhhh so this is the key, you need to be pregnant to believe your hot” he nodded.   
She climbed into bed with him and he felt himself shrink from her, She saw it too and looked at him confused “I’m sorry babe, I just” he looked down unable to explain “Eryn I” he tried again. She put her finger on his lips. She rested her forehead against his “We don’t need to do anything; I just need to be close to you ok” she whispered. “Ok” he nodded. She pressed her lips against his and felt him return the kiss. Caressing his with hers she felt the tension leave him as he let her kiss his worries away for the time they were kissing. She directed his head to her chest and held him quietly for some time. He closed his eyes, feeling exhaustion hitting him and wondered if this was the chemo already or just his body reacting to everything happening to him. He rested his hand on Eryn’s bump and before he knew it he was asleep, Eryn too underestimating the energy Seren had taken out of her already that day, fell asleep too.  
“No, no noooooo” Taron turned the light on as quick as his stumbling fingers allowed, Eryn was holding his arm with a vice like grip, her fingernails cut his skin and he peeled her fingers off him as he tried to stop her thrashing around. He finally managed to get a grip on her head and held it firm. “Eryn” he said loud and strong. But she didn’t stop, her cries were anguished and he was stuck by how pained her expressions were.   
Taron was considering slapping her, to break her out of whatever this was, but he couldn’t bring himself to strike her. Not even if it was going to help the situation. Instead he held firm, surely, she would stop soon and he was right. Eventually he felt her drop into his hands, her eyes desperate. She placed her hands on his and closed her eyes whimpering. He let go and held her, allowing her head to settle into his neck as she cried. Tears running down his neck. He hummed to her as they gently rocked back and forth. “What the fuck was that? Taron asked into the air. Eryn had stopped crying and lay numbly against his neck, staring ahead. “Everyone was dead” she mumbled. “That was a nightmare? He said incredulous. “You didn’t wake up though, it was like you were in a trance” he added. “I can still see it all” she whispered “It’s not real though Eryn, it’s just your head” he told her “ It felt fucking real” she snapped, breaking away, “I felt your bodies, like I am now” she said stroking his hand “ I could feel the cling film wrapped… wrapped..” Eryn didn’t finish as she ran to the bathroom and began violently throwing up.   
Taron went to follow, when he saw something red on the bed and his stomach hit the floor as he realised there was blood on the white sheet where Eryn had been sitting. He jumped out of bed and found Eryn bent over the toilet bowl. He closed his eyes as he saw her nightie was also stained. Not a huge amount but it stood out harsh against the bright white fabric.  
He turned and walked back to the bedroom, he dressed quickly pulling on his shoes and grabbing his and Eryn’s coats, he laid them on the bed along with her shoes. “Come on” he said as she appeared in the bathroom doorway looking perplexed. “We are going to Bronglais, Now! He ordered.   
Eryn had never seen him like this and it scared her. She nodded and put her coat on as he passed her, her knickers and a clean set of joggers, she saw it. She knew now why he was behaving as he was and sped up. He grabbed the maternity notes and ran down the stairs.  
Throwing the notes on the dash, he entered the key into the ignition and rammed his foot onto the gas, stalling the van he punched the steering wheel. Taking a breath his face determined, he began again and succeeded in getting it going, he turned the wheel and pulled up to a screaming halt at the front door. Eryn climbed into the passenger seat “Taron calm down, don’t kill us on the way to the bloody hospital ok” she told him as she struggled with the belt. He leant over and helped her.  
“Stop it Taron” she groaned as he floored the gas and ignored her words about being careful. “Jesus fucking Christ” she yelled. Pulling up at the doors. She unplugged and grabbing her notes she scowled at Taron and slammed the door as she watched him speed off to park the van. She waddled into the maternity entrance and found a midwife about to go through to the labour unit. “Erm excuse me” she asked tentatively “Erm I don’t know what to do or where to go but I am 28weeks and I’m bleeding” She stuttered “ok, Well I am Margie, did you ring anyone or? Margie could see that Eryn was well and truly bewildered and instead of asking more questions directed her to the maternity triage. She was about to escort her when Taron appeared and seeing Eryn had support left her to it. She was sure she recognised Eryn’s husband from somewhere but didn’t push it as he seemed fit to burst with worry.  
Having explained to the member of staff behind the desk, Eryn and Taron were taken into a side room and Eryn asked to lay on the bed. Connected to a monitor she was told to wait for the midwife. Taron paced the room as Eryn watched the monitor. “Taron please stop pacing, your driving me crazy” Eryn huffed “Well maybe I should just leave” he snapped. “Go if you want to then, why are you getting on at me for? She shouted.  
He growled under his breath and crossing his arms stared out of the window. The midwife came in and smiling made small talk, then asked what had happened. Eryn explained about the nightmare and throwing up and how Taron had seen the blood. “That must have worried you Daddy” she said talking to Taron. Hearing himself being referred to as Daddy, hit him. He was trying to be strong in case the worst happened and being called daddy was painful.  
“Daddy, I think Mammy could do with a hand to hold” she suggested. Taron closed his eyes momentarily and realised how selfish he was being, he nodded and moving over to Eryn ran an arm around her and held her hand in his. The room filled then with a loud and steady thumping noise “Ok well this little lady has one stonkingly strong heartbeat chaps and I see nothing at all to worry me, It’s most likely that when you were thrashing around you disturbed the placenta and that’s what caused the bleeding. You might find you get this a little bit more now as baby has less room to move around” she said smiling.  
Taron dropped his face into Eryn’s neck as his body took in the information. “I’m sorry we wasted your time. Eryn told her “Not a waste of time, with your history and age Eryn I would rather you came in everyday a hundred times a day than we miss something, if ever you are worried just pop on down ok? She replied.   
The midwife unstrapped Eryn and left the couple to get organised alone. Taron held Eryn’s coat open for her and she reluctantly accepted, zipping up too needed a helper. As he rose the zip to her chin. He looked at her, his puppy dog eyes melting into her. “I’m sorry, I freaked out, I was a dick, I was a proper arsehole” he sighed “yes, you were and you put us all in danger, and you are forgiven, but I am still cross” she told him. “So, quit with the puppy eyes Welsh Boi” she frowned. “Yes Mam” he replied a flicker of naughtiness in his tone. “Come on Daddy” she smirked.


	98. Chapter 98

Chapter 98  
Taron slept in late the next morning and fully expected Eryn to do the same. But when he woke up he knew straight away she wasn’t in bed. He got up and dressed, then went to look for her. He didn’t have to walk far because she was sat in the nursery, a large holdall on the floor at her feet. She looked up as she saw him appear in the doorway. He ran his hands along the cot bar on both cots as he settled on the floor next to Eryn on the rocking chair. He rested his head on Eryn’s knee “What you doing? He mumbled sleepily, putting on a baby voice.  
“Thought I ought to pack the hospital bag, after last nights panic” she told him as she took the tiniest vest from a packet and placed one and then another in the bag. Taron took the vest out again and laid it against her bump. She watched his face as he thought. “Penny for them? She asked “Just getting my head around this being in one of these” he said stroking her bump. Eryn leant back in the chair and sighed. She put her hand on his “Times two” she said softly.  
Taron nodded raising an eyebrow agreeing. Eryn reached over and ran her hand over his head massaging his scalp. He hummed happily and closed his eyes “Yes” he breathed making her chuckle. “I miss your hair” she moaned. “It’ll grow back at some point” he told her “At least this way I don’t have to watch it fall out” he mused. Eryn moved the bag out of the way and with help from Taron she stood up groaning. “This is ridiculous now I am getting huge” she sighed “I’m glad too, it would have been sad to see you losing it” she bit her lip. Forgetting what it usually did to Taron, he took her wrist and gave her a knowing look. She turned around and pretended to be ignorant.   
She held his cheek and kissed him gently. “So, shall we go walk Draig? She asked cheekily as she kissed his neck. She stopped momentarily and looked at him, “Come to bed” she whispered in his ear. “Tired are we? He smirked following her into the bedroom, she sat at the end of the bed. Lifting off her top and bra. She reached out and pulled the waistband of his bottoms, drawing him to her. He lowered himself between her legs onto his knees. “And how do we get around this” he said as she leaned back on her hands, her bump was now very round and hard. Taron ran his hands around it and up her torso gently caressing her breasts, his head dropping between them, he kissed her lightly as he gently ran his fingers over her breasts, bigger now than ever, he was certainly enjoying the changes. “Not the only thing getting huge baby” he chuckled.  
Eryn’s hands delved beneath his bottoms and she expertly removed them along with the support wear without him realising. She smiled broadly as she enjoyed herself running her hands around his thighs and over his backside, she closed her eyes.   
But Taron seemed to stall, his head laying on her chest. She was aware he was shaking a little and felt his tears dribble down her chest. She held him to her “Let’s get in bed properly” she offered. He pulled himself up and moved himself into the bed laying on his arm next to Eryn as she jostled into position facing him, slipping her arm under his neck she moved him to her and he let her guide him back to her chest where he closed his eyes “Talk to me” she said softly and stroked his forehead.  
“I’m so scared” he told her, his voice wobbling as he spoke. she wanted to give him free rein to simply talk while she listened and knew if she spoke more it would guide him in a less natural direction than what he might need to go. Tears dripped down his cheeks as he spoke. “I don’t want to die, I know what you said but, I can’t not be here, I don’t want to leave you or Mam and Guy, the girls … I know that it’s not on the cards, but when they said cancer Eryn and I just” “I think everyone automatically goes there honey, its normal. Plus with all the responsibility coming our way it’s going to add to the pressure, but I won’t let you go” she told him scowling “It is simply forbidden” she added.  
She ran her hand up and held his cheek. “What else are you scared of? I know there is more” she asked he gave her a look that told her he knew she was reading his mind again. He exhaled and let out a embarrassed moan “I…I’ve not had a hard on since the op, god it sounds so stupid out loud. I just don’t know if I can, if we can and I want to … I really do” he shook his head.  
“Maybe we could try something different and see what happens? we have been here before and worked it out” she said as a thought jolted her train of thought. “You know what might help? She asked as she looked at Taron “the injections” she smiled. Taron had kept quiet when Eryn forgot to start giving them and she wasn’t impressed now she remembered. Getting out of bed she pulled one of the needles from the back, they were pre-filled so all she had to do was stick him with it in the buttock.  
“Oh god, ok” he groaned “Why didn’t you remind me? you know I have pregnancy brain, my minds like swiss cheese” she scolded him all he could do was shrug looking sheepish “Ok, I suppose I was trying to pretend it wasn’t all real” he admitted. “Needles aren’t my favourite thing” he admitted “It’s only once a day baby, just a little prick” she replied Taron chuckled as Eryn rolled her eyes knowing how his mind worked.  
She unsheathed the needle and he turned over. She was nervous, but taking a deep breath she pressed the sharp needle into the muscle and pressed the liquid through it. Taron sucked his breath through his teeth as he felt the cool sting of the liquid. She quickly pulled it out and dropped it in the yellow plastic bin she had been left by the nurses.  
She rubbed the area as instructed to ensure that the liquid dispersed. He turned over again and pouted “Ow” he grumbled. “sorry” Eryn grimaced “But it is for your own good” she kissed him and smiled proudly “Thank you” he breathed.   
“Now when this kicks in you better fuck my brains out, because I am really finding myself getting horny a helluva lot recently” she admitted. Taron was wide eyed as he moved back to look at her “really? he said shocked by her language as much as the revelation. “Yeah funny thing this pregnancy lark” she laughed.  
That afternoon, Taron was pleasantly surprised to open the door to two jovial male nurses, who introduced themselves as Gaeffin and Jack. They quickly shooed the women off to the lounge, where Tina was made to stay out of the way with Henny and Eryn. Much to their chagrin, they were certainly not used to being ordered around and even moreso by male nurses.  
Once they let their annoyance disappear, they had plenty to chat about what with parenting classes about to begin, the baby shower and all manner of other baby stuff. But while they chatted, Eryn was quieter than usual, thinking about what Taron had said that morning. She came to the conclusion that she needed to do more to show him she was capable of looking after herself, as much as she wanted Taron to know he was needed and she wanted to be able to be vulnerable with him. She wasn’t comfortable with him feeling like he couldn’t leave her alone. She couldn’t have him worrying about her when he needed to concentrate on himself.  
“Penny for them” Tina asked seeing Eryn was miles away she smiled “Oh god Tina if I started I’d never finish” she sighed Tina hugged her “You and Taron have so much going on, you can talk to me you if you need to, if you don’t want to burden Taron” she stroked her back and kissed the side of her head. “I’m so scared Tina” she mumbled “I know, me too” Tina replied knowing instinctively what she was referring to. “Henny stood and joined the hug “Don’t forget me” she whined “Never Henny, Never” Tina answered.  
Henny decided to put on a birth programme to change the subject and they sipped their coffee’s as they grimaced and laughed throughout the stories. Tina filling in the missing parts of what was being shown and providing a realistic view. They were busy bonding when Eryn heard loud retching and knew Taron was throwing up pretty violently. She jumped up as quickly as she could and headed to the office, followed by Tina. But was stopped by Jack.   
“Just give him a minute, he’s ok” he said Eryn looked put out, but listened to the nurse. Henny made herself scarce and went for a bath, not wanting to overwhelm Eryn and Taron. Tina led Eryn back to the lounge and they sat in silence, listening to the sounds coming from the office. Finally Tina had had enough, she asked Eryn to call her later if Taron couldn’t do so, to fill her in on how he was. She hugged Eryn and let herself out.   
Eryn perched on the stairs waiting and listening as Taron finally stopped being sick. Some time passed before Gaeffin and Jack appeared and said good bye to Taron, “He’s doing well, he wanted to sit for a while before going up to bed which I said is fine, but it might be worth getting a bed down here for him from now on” Jack suggested. Eryn thanked the men as they left. She stood and took it in, so far nothing major had made it hit her that Taron was as sick as he was, but this was like a stab in her heart, the idea that he needed a bed downstairs was painful. She didn’t want to think about it, but she couldn’t ignore it or pretend forever. For now she shook away the thoughts and peered into the office, unsure if Taron wanted to be alone.  
He was sat in the chair his head against the back cushion, he was pale and with his eyes closed he looked pained. He opened his eyes and saw the worry in Eryn’s “Hey come here” he croaked, his throat dry and sore from being sick. She moved slowly toward him and stood in front of him, he smiled as he held her bump in his hands and pressed his lips to it. “you can take that look off your face cariad, I’m ok. I feel shit. But that’s what we knew would happen right? He offered.   
“I know but it hurts seeing you in pain” she told him and dropped her head. “Take me to bed” he asked her pushing himself up of the chair and steadying himself. He was dizzy as well as nauseaous still, but slowly and with Eryn’s arm to hold, they got him upstairs and into bed. Eryn placing a bucket next to him, she went into the bathroom and rang Tina, she filled her in and told her Taron was sleeping she explained what the nurses had said and asked if Guy could help with the bed downstairs, Tina also seemed to have the same reaction to the idea as Eryn as she went quiet. Eryn was honest and told Tina how Taron was and realistically he was no worse than if he had a nasty stomach bug.  
But deep down she knew this was the beginning of things and only the tip of the iceburg.   
When she left the bathroom, he was throwing up again violently into the bucket, his stomach spasms were stronger than she imagined and she felt hopeless sat watching. She ran a flannel under the cold water in the bathroom and as he stopped and lay back she held it to him and patted his forehead and cheeks. He groaned in relief as the cold fabric soothed his warm skin.  
Eryn helped him to drink small sips of water to help his throat and keep him hydrated she had already bought a bunch of reusable straws and left them on the side table for him to drink his water. “Now I know what morning sickness feels like” He moaned as he nestled into Eryn, “Payback time huh” she replied. He managed a small smile and dozed in her arms.  
She stroked his forehead and hummed some of the songs he usually sang to her. Feeling maternal and deeply sad as she held him, she knew she was crying but ignored the tears as she fought against her emotions. Silently sobbing she did her best not to allow Taron to hear her. She knew she was being ridiculous to think he wouldn’t know and closing her eyes for a moment when she opened them, he was sat up in front of her and leant forward wiping her tears away. She couldn’t help the look of desperation and grabbed him, holding on to him for dear life as if she would lose him if she let go, she whimpered into his shoulder. She was soon aware that he was crying too, his body shaking under hers. He held her as tight as she held him, the sounds he made were unlike any she had ever heard him make. So raw and base that she wasn’t sure she could bare to hear him. But still she held him strong and felt him crumble and lose his strength against her. Still though she held him tight and moving him gently side to side, rocked him still whimpering like a small child until he fell asleep.  
Even then she continued until she too, exhausted finally let go and her head hit the pillow.  
The night was punctuated with bouts of Taron throwing up. The relief was short lived when soon it became clear that the irritation had simply moved along his digestive system and he found himself exhausted laying against the sink as he was hit was excruitiating stomach cramps and diahorrea. His dignity was being removed bit by bit and he hated that Eryn was having to deal with him in this state. His exhaustion caused him to fail to get to the bathroom on time, As Eryn appeared in the doorway, she saw he was once again in tears. This time hot angry tears as he tried to clean up, embarrassed and exhausted he stared at the floor.  
“Get out” He shouted “Eryn leave me alone for fucks sakes” he groaned. But Eryn walked over to him without a word, she pulled a pack of baby wipes from under the counter and began to silently help him. She ignored his angry snatching of the wipes as she handed them to him and when he pulled away or resisted her help. She pressed on and became firmer. If he pulled his arm out of her reach she grabbed it harder and held it still stronger. “You think I fucking care Taron, about your precious ego” she spat “I love you, you arse. I don’t care if you shit yourself, I don’t care about any of that crap, I am your wife and I am doing this so get fucking used to it, because I do not intend on stopping” she told him sternly.  
Despite scowling and sulking, Taron allowed her to finish and help him back to bed. The sun was already coming up and the birds were singing. So, once she had settled Taron, she went to see to Draig and make them a hot drink and toast. Unsure if Taron would keep anything in, she felt she had to try. As she stood at the backdoor watching Draig, a message came through on her phone She was surprised to see that it was from Taron.   
<<<< Soz >>>> was all it read.  
Eryn was leaning against the door frame , stretching her back when a pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders “How is he? Henny asked “I heard a LOT last night” she added kissing Eryn on the side of the head “You sounded proper bossy” she added. “Yeah, it was rough, but it’s just starting Hen, I needed him to see my strength” she added.  
Draig wandered in and over to his bowl as she shut the door, Henny handed her a mug of hot sweet Tea and filled Draig’s bowl for him. The women wandered into the lounge and sat in their recliners. “And how are you? Henny asked “Really? she added as Eryn closed her eyes, pulling the blanket she kept on the chair up over her. “Tired, scared, fucking angry, why cancer for fucks sake? Why now? She sighed “I don’t know Hen” she sipped her tea.  
Next thing she knew she was waking up in the recliner, her blanket now tucked right up to her chin and a pillow supporting her neck. She had no idea how long she had been asleep but a note on the coffee table from Henny read “Taken Draig out for a walk, spend some time with your man, love H xx” She smiled. Now alone, but for her bump, she closed her eyes and willed herself to find the strength she knew she was going to need.   
As she opened her eyes Taron came in, his hoodie pulled up and enourmous black circles under his eyes, He did his best to smile and curled himself up on his side on the sofa, he had dragged the duvet along behind him and managed to pull it on top of himself, his face just visible above it, his head covered by the hood of the jumper. “You should be in bed Welsh boi” Eryn told him half heartedly. “So should you” he retorted. “Too far away” she huffed making him chuckle as she mimicked him. “Am I forgiven? He croaked and Eryn blew him a kiss, he pretended to catch it and pulled it under the duvet holding it close to his heart. “I Love you, you dummy, of course you are” she added. “Put the telly on then” she groaned and stretched changing position as Taron pointed the remote control out from under the side of the duvet at the TV.


	99. Chapter 99

Chapter 99  
“Good Morning madam, Sir” said the flight attendant directing Eryn and Taron to their seats. Taron still looked unwell, pale and very thin. He hoped that no one had sneakily got any shots of him on the way through departures. He slowly sat down and removed his hat and sunglasses. Eryn handed him the bottle of water she had been insisting he sip from since they left the flat at god only knew what time that morning. It was a wet and windy day in London and this was so badly needed.  
Eryn sat excitedly in her seat, her giddiness shared by Bymp who wriggled and squirmed constantly, feeling her mother’s adrenalin rushing through to her. Taron was excited too, though sapped of energy he was ready to celebrate. This was not how he would love to do it; he wanted a full-on party with friends and family and plenty of good booze. But this was essential for the couple and probably the last time they would be just the two of them. Taron ran his fingers down Eryn’s arm making her turn to him quickly expecting him to need something. Instead as she leaned forward to hear better, he smartly kissed her. Making her chuckle into his lips as he let his lips sit against hers for a moment or two. His hand snaking it’s way down her arm and into her hand.   
Leaning back, they smiled at each other softly, “What was that for? She asked “You look so pretty today” he told her, making her stomach flip the way it used to in the early days. It surprised her feeling such a rush of exhilaration that she thought she was going to tear up. “Stop” she blushed. “Nope” he croaked “never gonna” he grinned.   
It killed Eryn to see him so quiet and fragile still. His movements were tentative and everything still seemed such an effort for him. She yearned for the old Taron, full of energy and able to run around with his crazy dancing and playful behaviour. But this was the start of getting him back. She thought replaying in her mind how they had got to be on a plane to the beautiful Costa Rica.   
The night had been probably one of the worst so far, neither Taron nor Eryn could sleep. Taron had begun to experience restless leg syndrome and with no energy whatsoever it drove him crazy, he became so frustrated that Guy had removed most of what had been in the study to protect it from his rages. So many of his treasured books had been ripped and thrown around in fury and frustration. Eryn’s trepidation about the office was replaced by almost constantly being within its four walls. When Taron did sleep, he would thrash and kick out.  
Unable to get comfortable herself and finding the need to pee every few minutes driving her crazy, she often flaked out in the office bed while he took up the whole upstairs one to himself. If Eryn wasn’t in bed she was in the bath, soothing her aching back and hips. She was never a comfortable temperature and was always taking her cardigans and jumpers on and off. It seemed that today’s visit from the oncologist had them both amped up so bad that they had ended up on a recliner each grumbling to themselves and feeling very hard done by.   
With help though from Tina and Guy, one taking each of the couple in hand they had managed to get ready for the visit and feel presentable and as comfortable as they could manage. When the news came that Taron could stop the Chemo programme early the room fell silent. It was Tina’s sobs that broke the tension as Guy held her and Taron gently rubbed her arm, being unable to move to do more. Tina moved to him and she held and rocked him for what felt like hours. The relief was obvious on everyone’s faces. But Tina out of everyone had been the calmest and least fretful of them all throughout. Seeing her this way meant Eryn and Guy were soon also crying and hugging. So, now here they were on their ‘Babymoon’ a gift from Tina and Guy to help the couple reconnect before Seren arrived.   
Taron had already closed his eyes and was dozing; the journey having taken a lot from him already. Eryn watched him smiling seeing a smile playing on his lips. She continued to hold his hand in hers as she leaned into his shoulder but maintaining her own weight so as not to press on his weakened muscles. He knew what she was doing and missed feeling the closeness. He tried to make up for these moments with those where she forgot and he could revel in it. But for now, he was happy to rest his eyes and look forward to a luxurious getaway.   
He started a little as he felt Eryn placing his headphones on and start his book on it. He loved to read from a real book but holding some of them was enough to make his arm ache, this way he still got to keep up on his reading, sort of. He found himself musing about the changes he had seen in Eryn already. He loved it, watching her ‘nesting’. Making their home ready for Seren, she was often now seen cleaning and tidying, re- packing and re-packing the hospital bag or crawling awkwardly on all fours to check out the risks and looking out for safety hazards.   
Not only that, she had begun to mother him. At first, he found himself affronted, but having chatted to his Mam about it, he now understood where it was coming from. Not as he thought as a reflection on him failing or in order to patronise, instead as a natural process of a woman becoming ready to become a mother. She was instinctively acting out on her maternal instincts and practicing them without knowing she did so. He now just smiled knowingly and accepted it, also of course thinking it particularly cute, if she did similar to what she had with the headphones.   
He also saw Henny moving into similar patterns, but with some difference. She was now completely obsessed with Mari and Rosie and became impromptu nanny to them, now taking them to and from school, dance classes and helping with homework. It was usual for Henny to drop in to see them on their way home from school each afternoon for a short while. It allowed the girls time with Eryn and Taron. Although he hated the initial visits, seeing the fear and confusion in their eyes. Before he knew it, he was taking inspiration from their resilience and childish wisdom.   
The girls soon adapted to the new ‘Taron’ and would make jokes and comments that adults would gasp at but were refreshing for Taron to hear. Eryn was also glad of their daily visits, seeing Taron perk up around the girls, really helped. She was bombarded with constant questions from Rosie who had taken on a all knew level of interest in the biological side of pregnancy and was never more happy than to sit with a cup of tea and chat to Eryn about what was happening with Seren. She saw so much of Taron in her enthusiasm for reading and learning and having her own interest in all things medical, was as interested as her companion. They would often trawl the internet and medical books to learn about how the placenta worked and what the purpose of the umbilical cord was. In fact, it had led to her controversial decision to have a home birth, something that was still bubbling under the surface, as Taron had been too weak to argue, not that he didn’t try and an impasse had developed.   
“I don’t want to be medicalised, I want to be where I comfortable, with all my family around me, where I can do what I want or feel the need to do without being embarrassed” she had told him. “You can do that, but in a maternity centre where there are people around who know what they are doing” he replied “What if something goes wrong? He had been amazed it was even a subject you would discuss. You have a baby you go to hospital surely that was a forgone conclusion. But Eryn was firm, “Taron listen, God I love you and I mean this literally in the best way, but you are not the one going to be doing this, it’s not your body, mind in this. Surely, I know what is best for me? she had tried not to sound like she was dismissing his importance, but she had begun to worry about hospitals and the memories they now had for her. She didn’t want to take him back to those things whilst he was so low already and kept it to herself, but she knew she wanted as much comfort as possible and that did not mean returning to those memories. Instead, they had allowed a phone call from Lindy to interrupt and the conversation had now been swiftly avoided if it came up.  
Eryn wriggled in her seat, adjusting her pillows. She had brought her entire collection on board with her, she had a curved one that wrapped around her waist to support her lower back, one between her legs to prevent her knees hurting. She had a longer thinner one down one side to lean against and a neck pillow for the flight. She had already set Taron up similarly and had to laugh at what they must look like and what others who saw them must have thought. She was beyond caring, comfort and sleep was everything now, Thankfully sleep came easily and she woke with less than half an hour left on the flight.  
Taron was already awake but had slept reasonably well too. He was eating, which made her glad, He had lost so much weight that he looked ill simply because the skin was hanging off him. Though he joked about finally being a decent weight, Eryn wasn’t happy, she knew Taron’s body bothered him and that he had press comment on it, unfairly. But she cared nothing for that, she wanted him healthy and happy. She saw that he had rested his hand on her bump now, it was so often his habit that she often felt strange when it wasn’t there. He was tapping his fingers lightly in time with whatever music he had on and she watched and began to try and guess the song. She chuckled and mouthed the title under breath. It was the song he sang most to Seren, Otis Readings “These arms of mine” and he sang it mainly because it seemed to lull her and calm the constant movements, which were painful at times. Eryn had come to think of it as Seren’s and Taron’s song.   
Taron stirred and grinned when he saw Eryn mouthing the title “How did you know? He asked and she nodded at his fingers still tapping out the tune. He looked at her impressed “Morse code? He laughed. Eryn leaned closer and rested her head on his arm, turning into him and kissing his upper arm a few times. Before nuzzling into him, she looked dreamily up at him “You ok? She asked. He looked down at her and nodded “Could do with stretching my legs, though we are nearly there” he said looking out over the most luscious green sights. Eryn followed his eyes and watched the rainforests passing beneath.   
When they had gone through the palaver of the airport, they had an uncomfortable jeep ride to the place they were staying. It was stunning, a beautiful an all wood tree house with the most incredible views and small infinity pool. Though neither could enjoy it properly initially, It wasn’t until they had finally unpacked and were taking in their accommodation that Eryn exhaled and felt calmer. She stood on the balcony and listened to the jungle all around. Taron had chosen to get a shower and wandered out behind her looking fresher than ever, wearing just his shorts he looked pale, but he no longer looked as if the world was on his shoulders.   
He ran his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. Breathing in, he nestled into his neck. “This is it baby, this is the start of it all getting better and normality returning” he sighed “Normal? She questioned “Are you sure we have ever had normal? She laughed “Ok the start of normal then? he replied “Baby won’t you get bored? She added “Not at all, Lets have some boring normal please, why won’t you love me if I’m boring? He asked. Turning around she brushed her bump against him. Taking his head in her hands “You will never be boring; Do you know that I still get butterflies in my stomach from you all the time? She asked blushing slightly “You do? he asked meekly, he had the same but was surprised to hear that she did too. “All the time” she grinned.  
His eyes flickered, taking every inch of her face in, smiling at each other lost in the twinkle in their eyes. Taking a stumbling breath, he moved in and kissed her, closing his eyes, she pressed her herself as close as she could manage, it was an awkward job face to face as they were and before they could enjoy each other properly, Eryn had to move uncomfortable. “Hold that thought while I get showered and changed” she told him. He nodded “Shall I get us some food? He asked “Yes please” she replied always hungry now. She stripped off and stepped under the cool shower, it felt amazing and for the first time in ages she felt the familiar tingles of her arousal sparking off. Thinking to how much he made her butterflies go crazy. She finished off and pulled on a soft cotton sundress. Leaving her hair wet to dry naturally. She found Taron laid out on one of the rocking chairs outside. He was sipping a lime green drink and feet stretched out on the foot stool.   
Eryn stopped for a second and took him in, if you didn’t look too closely you couldn’t see the signs of his illness. She knew why he had said what he had about this being the start. She beamed at her belly and felt her heart miss a beat excitedly. As she approached the other rocking chair, she saw that she had an identical beverage on the little side table, her waist pillow was already on the rocker ready for her. “You are so thoughtful Welsh Boi, thank you baby” she leant and kissed his head, “That reminds me, don’t forget sun cream on that” she told him. Even though it was attempting to grow back, his head was still almost bare still. She lowered her bum into the seat and huffed audibly, groaning with the strain of the weight. She swung her feet up and sighed. Taking a breather, she reached out and sipped her drink. It was wonderfully cool and sweet, lime and lemonade amongst other fruits were also coming through.  
“Ssh Eryn look! Taron called out. Following his gaze, she saw a sloth. It couldn’t have been more than a foot away and Eryn gasped. “Omg Taron, Omg get a picture. I can’t believe this, baby It’s a sloth” she cried. It had been a common joke between the pair, that the sloth was their ‘Spirit Animal’ and truly both adored the creatures and they were their favourite creature. This was one reason why they had chosen Costa Rica for the trip and had desperately hoped to see one. They expected this would happen in a sanctuary or something, never right at their back door. Sloths being cute to look at but very much a dangerous animal, meant they knew not to approach it.   
It didn’t stop the pair, going crazy over the encounter. Eryn was unable to get out of the rocking chair on her own and began to laugh as she cried for help, wanting to see the Sloth better. Taron burst into laughter seeing her stuck tickled his sense of humour and as much as he tried to pull her up, his laughing scuppered him. By the time they finally had her standing, the commotion had scared the animal away.   
Eryn was gutted, but still laughing she hugged Taron. “Damn you, you scared it off you fucker” she sighed “All that effort for nothing” she moaned. Taron continued to giggle “I’m sorry, you looked so funny” he pouted though struggled to stop laughing. “I’m glad you found it funny” she replied “Sorry” he said looking anything but. “Maybe it was worth it, it is good to be seeing you laugh and smile properly” she told him “Feels pretty good too” he grinned “ I’m sure Stanley will be back” he told her “ She frowned “Stanley, of course you named it already! She laughed. “Stanley the Sloth” he said proudly she shook her head as Seren pushed her foot forward and caused her to bend double “Jesus” he winced seeing the outline of the foot for himself, he wasn’t sure what to react to the weirdness of seeing an actual real foot through Eryn’s belly or seeing in her face just how much it hurt her.  
He instinctively moved to stop her falling and placed his hands on her shoulders, once she was able to right herself. He helped her back into the rocking chair and got her comfortable. She told him to sit himself as she saw the colour drain from him having over exerted. It reminded them that things were not back to normal quiet yet. “That was something else” he said incredulous “Are you ok? Jesus Seren what was that? He asked dumbstruck “I know right” she managed “It was like she tried to kick her way out! And nearly succeeded” she gasped “Are you sure you’re ok? what they hell did that feel like? I mean you just got kicked from the inside” he chuckled “It felt exactly like being kicked from the inside” she told him. She ran her hand across her stomach in long strokes, hoping against hope that Seren wouldn’t get the idea to do it again.   
Thankfully, the nights entertainment was over and soon food arrived and with the rest of the evening less exciting they enjoyed the sunset and beauty around them, chatting lightly.


	100. Chapter 100

Chapter 100  
The sounds of the jungle woke the couple early enough to see the sunrise. Laying staring out of the window Eryn stretched and felt an arm around her waist as Taron moved close to spoon with her.   
“Good morning” he breathed into her neck. She let her head drop a little and rubbed it against his.  
“You slept better” she mumbled   
“So good, I didn’t wake up even once, what about you” he said running his flat hand across her expansive tummy.   
“Did you let mammy sleep? He asked quietly. Eryn placed her hand on top of his   
“She did a little, just two trips to pee, which is a record I think” she smiled stroking Taron’s hand.  
They lay together not speaking, just enjoying the sounds and sights out of the windows. When Eryn grinned and sat up   
“Taron look Stanley” she was crazy excited as the little sloth climbed along the wood rail outside of their window looking in at them as if they were exhibits at a zoo. Taron wrapped his arms around her and leant his head on her shoulders as Eryn chatted to the sloth. Watching her excited face, he chuckled and kissed her shoulder.   
“Looks like we made a friend” he mused   
“Taron what do they eat, I can’t remember quick google it, what have we got? She said giddily.   
“Babe I think it eats what is in the jungle around us, I wouldn’t think we have anything it wants” he laughed   
“Aww but then why is he here? Maybe it needs something? She added   
“Or maybe this is his home and he’s thinking the same as you and wondering what we eat and what we are doing here? He said  
“And food certainly sounds good right now” he leant over to the menu and began scanning the breakfast list.   
“Oh! bye Stanley” Eryn pouted watching the creature retreat into the leafy surroundings.  
“He went” she said turning to Taron. He nodded sarcastically making her scowl back.  
“Well I would normally make a joke about you always thinking of your belly, but seeing as you need fattening up, I will let you off” Eryn said. Taron lifted his arm as Eryn tucked herself under and snuggled up onto his chest and closed her eyes.  
“I don’t want fattening up too much” he said as he picked up the phone and rang the kitchen to order some food, Eryn took the menu and made her choices.   
“Don’t even start me off on that one, you’re a bag of bones Welsh boy, I want my squishy bits back” she smirked.  
Putting down the phone, Taron moved further into Eryn and ran his hand around her, above her bump, lifting her pyjama top and stroked the skin under her breasts gently. She kissed his neck and let out a small, muted groan.  
“I see you are feeling much better” she said softly into his neck.   
“Not all the way better maybe, but…” he broke off as his fingers moved up and felt himself getting hard for the first time since his op. Eryn noticed too, covered his hand and encouraged his movements. He dipped his head and kissed her determinedly. Feelings of lust returning to him with the renewed energy. He knew he wasn’t going to be up to much but was enjoying the fact that he was able again to enjoy Eryn and she him. He was relieved to feel his anatomy returning to normal and found himself pushing further.  
He felt her hand on his stomach and flinched without meaning to, she stopped and rested her flat hand against his skin. As they continued to kiss passionately. He took her lead and he too placed a hand on hers and moved it slowly beneath his boxers. She moved her head a little away and stopped the kiss, looking into his eyes to ensure he was not doing it for her and really wanted to do what they were about to do. He looked at her with a look of desire in his eyes, she’d not seen for a while.  
“I don’t have to do anything; you know that there is no rush” she told him smiling a little. Saying nothing she wrapped her hand around his now hard erection and removed his, leaving hers in place. He moved forward again pressing his lips hard against hers, as the hand he had free moved back under her top. She let herself relax into him as she moved her hand slowly down his shaft, she was she had to admit conscious that it might be different and wanted to make sure that Taron knew that different didn’t mean worse in anyway. So made sure she acted as she always would, not deliberately avoiding any areas.   
She heard him groan against her lips as he came quickly. Without any ejaculate it was pretty confusing for her, she only really had his bodies reaction to her to know he had definitely come and he had to stop her from continuing. He had come so quickly too that she was unsure whether this felt good to him.   
She didn’t let him remove her hand entirely and instead ran her hand around his bum and across his thighs, exploring his body as if she had never done so before. As he felt the sensation of her movements, he dropped back from her lips and breathed heavily. She massaged her fingers into his tired muscles as she murmured and moaned against him as she felt the heat of her skin on his. Tingling like mad, she found herself shuddering and shaking suddenly. Taron opened his eyes and looked to her, tears were in her eyes, but she was smiling.   
He reached across and wiped her cheeks, a worried look on his face.   
“Sorry” she mouthed but Taron shook his head   
“What is it? He asked.   
“I guess I just missed this, missed you, I think it hit me at last that I could have lost you” she said her voice wobbling with emotion. Taron kissed her and rested his forehead on hers. They closed their eyes and sat in silence.  
“I told you, I am never going anyway Eryn, I promised you and I keep my promises” he told her.  
“This wasn’t something you could do anything about though Taron, I love you so fucking much, I don’t know what I would…” She broke off unable to say it out loud and dropped her head onto his chest. Taron soothed her. Rubbing her back and repeating that everything was going to be ok and it was all over now. She exhaled as she allowed herself to feel the relief wash over her, not realising just how much she had been holding in.   
The food arrived while they lay together and once Eryn had calmed down, they sat on the bed and ate together.   
“I’m sorry Taron, I didn’t mean to ruin the moment earlier” she mumbled.  
Taron squeezed her knee, shaking his head “You didn’t ruin anything cariad” he said leaning in and kissing her cheek.   
Once they finished eating, They showered and dressed making the most of the beach front location they ambled down and took a couple of free loungers. It was out of season and the resort was fairly empty, making it feel as though they had the place to themselves. Being maternal Eryn set the loungers up for them,with all they needed, clipping the towels to the loungers to stop them slipping and ensuring they had plenty of drinks and sun protection.   
Eryn was waddling back to use the toilet for the third time, when she had to stop as her bump suddenly hardened and a wave of crunching brain spread across it. She leant on the fence and caught her breath.   
“Bloody Braxton Hicks” she moaned. She saw a member of staff hurry over “Is everything ok Ma’am” she asked kindly, looking at the size of her bump she smiled  
“How long? She asked and Eryn held up 4 fingers.   
“Practice contractions” she told her, the women looked middle aged and from the look on her face had some experience of what Eryn was going through. She smiled warmly and nodded   
“Not too much longer” She told Eryn. Who was now feeling better and stood up straighter, she nodded a thank you and cursed her need to empty her bladder. The toilet was not that far from the beach but it was far enough in her condition.  
As she sat to relieve herself, she was again overtaken by the same hardening and crunching pain. As she groaned, she found herself urinating at the same time, but this was a lot of liquid considering she had not long been. She sat staring at the ground as the feeling again passed and swallowed hard. She shook her head   
“Oh Seren, baby please don’t do this to me” she stuttered to herself. But as she stood more liquid dribbled down her leg and the unmistakable signs continued. Laid in the bowl on top of the tissue paper was a disgusting lump of what looked like snot. Eryn screwed up her eyes   
“Damn it” Eryn cried as she saw it. Taking a massive breath, she steadied her nerves and knew she needed to get organised and stay calm. Reaching into her pocket for her phone she realised that in her haste she had forgotten it. So, unlocking the cubicle, she looked around for help, but no one was around.   
Turning back to the cubicle she reeled off a number of sheets of loo roll and placed them in her knickers to catch the flow of amniotic fluid. Then focussed herself on getting back to Taron, hopefully she’d see the woman or another member of staff along the way.   
Meanwhile, in Aber. Henny sat on the bathroom floor, This was the third crunching pain she had had that morning and she was already exhausted. She mused that Labour was gonna be deadly as she reached around and turned the water off. She managed to heave herself of the floor and into the water.  
“Fuck” she cried as she felt another crunch.   
“Give us a rest Wren, will ya, bet your sister doesn’t give your Mam such a hard time. Besides, you need to keep me onside so you have someone to back you up against your rents” she laughed before she was interrupted by a kick.   
“Tina” she shouted through the bathroom door.  
“I’m here what’s up Hen? Tina replied after some time  
“Erm, remind me, Braxton thingy’s are different from real ones how? She asked.  
“Hen, I’m coming in ok” Tina called back a worried tone clearly sounding in her voice.  
She found Henny sat upright in the bath, holding her bump and wincing.   
“Describe what your feeling to me Hen? Tina asked getting her phone and finding the timer setting.   
“Hurts like bloody murder, and the whole area goes hard” she explained “It’s done it like 4 or 5 times since I got in here, so over the last 45 minutes? I’d say” she looked at Tina. Tina tried her best not to look as concerned as she felt.   
“I don’t suppose you would know if your waters have gone? She asked Henny looked into the bath water.  
“I did kind of wet myself a bit ago in here, couldn’t hold it in. But that couldn’t be …” she broke off at the look on Tina’s face.   
“Fuck” Henny cried lounder this time as the crunching pain increased and seemed to include her back and hips now. Tina concentrated on the phone and called for Guy to get her a pen and paper. Meanwhile once the contraction had passed, Tina helped Henny out of the bath. Before she was fully dried and dressed, she had had two more contractions and Tina noted the timings on the notepad that Guy had got her. Tina was now on a call to the maternity unit and chatted to the triage midwife. Meanwhile Guy was trying to place a call to Costa Rica.  
Taron’s phone buzzed next to him, but on silent and with his head in his book, he was miles away. He stopped momentarily as he thought Eryn had been gone for longer than she maybe should have. He decided to finish the chapter before he went to look for her.   
Eryn had successfully made it to the edge of the beach, holding onto the palm tree. She bent over again, breathing as best she could through the ever-increasing pain, All she could do now when they hit was close her eyes and breathe deeply as the contraction moved through her. Once it passed, she began to move again. She tried to ignore the fact that she was making less and less ground as she went which meant the contractions were coming quicker as well as harder. She was determined that she would not be giving birth to this baby alone on a random Costa Rican beach.   
But as the next one hit, she lost control and the noise she made scared even her. It was so loud that Taron immediately looked up from his book, instinct told him is was Eryn’s voice. He jumped up from the lounger spotting her clutching the palm tree and ran as best he could on the sand to where she was.  
“Fuck Eryn what happened? He said taking in her demeanour.   
“Labour Taron, labour happened, well is happening I’m having this fucking baby, NOW!! She screamed at him as another contraction began. Taron panicked watching her in agony he floundered. Before finally getting his head together.   
“Right can you walk at all? He asked, she shook her head, her eyes were pleading and it broke his heart.   
“OK” he said and running back to the loungers, threw all of their things into a towel and bundled them onto one lounger. With all his strength which wasn’t as much as he would have liked, he dragged the lounger to Eryn. Dumping the bundle on the ground he helped Eryn to sit on the lounger.   
“Right, baby I will be right back, I need to get help” he told her. He had to pry Eryn’s hand off his wrist as she felt another contraction.   
“Stay please” she cried as her eyes screwed up tight. Taron reluctantly turned and ran.  
He was grateful that the path was paved, running on sand was not easy when in full health, but feeling as he did right now it had been torture. He was grateful for adrenalin. Reaching the reception, he babbled   
“Wife, beach, in labour, baby coming now! Help! As he caught his breath, the woman who had seen Eryn earlier nodded speaking to the manager she explained the situation and an ambulance was arranged. The woman was called Luanna it turned out and she patted Taron’s shoulder motioning for him to go back to Eryn as she followed.   
They finally reached Eryn, who could be heard long before they saw her. Taron looked to and from Luanna and Eryn. As Luanna moved Eryn onto all fours, rubbing her lower back. She then directed Taron to take over. He did his best to follow her instructions. Though he wasn’t sure how much this was helping.   
As he continued the woman disappeared, leaving Taron bemused  
“Taron, we haven’t got the baby bag or anything” Eryn whined   
“It’s ok, I know” he soothed   
“It seems our little lady decided she didn’t need it” he mused  
“Is this helping at all? He asked unsure  
“God yes, please don’t stop” she muttered as another contraction took hold, gripping the sides of the lounger, she could do nothing but scream blue murder as it felt like her body would explode into a million pieces the pressure was so great.  
As this one ended and she began to gain her breath back, tears poured from her eyes and she whimpered.   
“God baby, I’m so sorry. This is bullshit, what can I do? Taron asked moving round to where he could see her face, he used his t-shirt to wipe her face and she moved herself forward resting her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck.   
“Stay here, please, I’m so scared” she managed to sob through her exhausted cries.   
“I won’t go again, I needed help though honey” he told her. Now she leant on him, his hands rubbing up and down her sides, he could feel the power of the muscles baring down each time they rippled through her body. He was taken aback by it and understood better why she was making so much noise. It was disconcerting at first, he had never heard anything like this noise, least of all from Eryn. It was eery and appalling all at once.  
It felt like forever, when Luanna arrived followed by a group of what appeared to be local village women. The women chattered in their native tongue, surrounding the couple each women seemed to have a particular task, they laid a large mat on the sand, it looked to have been made with leaves woven together in an intricate pattern and Taron was mesmerised by it, they placed blanket on top and finally a number of sheets of newspaper.  
“We move” Luanna told Taron, who nodded.  
“Baby we need to move you on to the mat okay” Taron warned Eryn  
“No, I can’t leave me please” Eryn cried fearful of more pain if it were possible. Taron looked at the mat and Eryn, then to the women and knew he had no choice but to trust them.  
The group of women were not taking no for an answer, Between them they took hold of Eryn and together lifted her onto the mat. Ignoring her increased screaming and crying. Taron cringed feeling as though he was somehow betraying her by ignoring her requests.  
One of the ladies had a bowl of water and kneeling next to Eryn’s head she began to dab the cool water across Eryn’s forehead. Another took Taron’s hand and began to walk away with him, he protested. Planting his feet firmly and shaking his head.  
“Women time no men” the women told him. He was unsure what to do, but when he was handed the towel bundle, he decided he could go and check on the ambulance, he didn’t want to leave Eryn, but could see that she was more comfortable as she was not screaming quite as much and other than fighting a group of Costa Rican women he had little choice. The women wrapped the blanket around Eryn as a senior looking lady had two others open Eryn’s legs, before she could protest, she felt the women’s hand move up into her vagina. She was in such a dazed frenzy of pain and distress, that she decided this was nothing in comparison and concentrated on breathing steadily and getting through each contraction, though they were practically back to back now.   
Once she had concluded her examination, excited chatter broke out throughout the group.  
It was then that Eryn realised that Taron was missing and began screaming desperately for him, the lady who was mopping her brow tried to ‘ssh’ her. But this was something she was having nothing of and immediately began to try and move.   
Luanna came into view and nodded “Its ok, I get husband” she told her, “You breathe, be calm, baby head come” she added. Eryn’s eyes widened   
“God No, not yet, Taron!!!!  
“Why the hell isn’t he answering?” Tina yelled at Guy  
“How do I know; I mean what else can I do? I’ve left a million messages on his mobile, can’t get through to the resort, Lyndsay is ringing both at the same time and so am I on the home and mobile” Guy sighed.  
“Tina, they are never going to get a flight and travel all that way in time anyway, my sweet” he tried to reason with her.  
“Damn it Guy, I know that, but they are missing their baby’s birth for fucks sake, they need to at least be on the phone or something” she cried. It was unlike Tina to be quite so over wrought. But she was used to being able to do something, she had felt so helpless with Taron’s illness that it was still lingering in her emotions as the night played out. She hung up on Guy, leaving him feeling for everyone involved. Nothing ever panned out the way they wanted it and he too felt frustrated.  
“Fucking Hell Taron answer the bloody phone” he groaned.  
“Guy? Taron replied having answered without Guy realising  
“Taron thank god” he stopped hearing something in Taron’s voice, “you sound stressed are you alright? Guy asked distracted by what sounded like utter chaos in the background.  
“No, Eryn’s in labour Guy, it’s all fucked up. I need to go I’m sorry she needs me” he hung up before Guy was able to say another word.  
Guy sat and ran his hand though his hair and stared ahead.   
“Right” he said and dialled his wife’s number.  
Taron reached Eryn as the women carrying the weaved mat, with Eryn on appeared around the corner walked toward where he stood screaming at the manager about the ambulance. He heard Eryn screaming his name and turned toward her, making short work of the space between them, he grabbed her hand and she squeezed it tightly  
“I’m here, I’m here, what’s going on where are they taking you?  
He asked his eyes darting all around him, but his question was answered when he saw in front of him a flat bed truck. Carefully Eryn was lifted into the back and Taron climbed in beside her. She was barely conscious and Taron was terrified to see blood pour out from the bottom end of the bundle she was wrapped in, He was handed the wet cloth and bowl and nudged to keep dabbing Eryn with it. The older woman who had indiscreetly examined Eryn nodded and the vehicle moved off at a fast pace.   
Taron looked at Eryn, her face was pale, she looked ill and unable to focus, Taron could see she was semi-conscious and dabbed absentmindedly with the cloth, while he watched the woman. Suddenly she grabbed him and dropping the bowl allowed her to explain as best she could that Eryn needed to sit up. He nodded and gingerly stood, holding onto the cab of the truck. He stepped across her, sliding behind her with one leg either side, he was now able to place his arms under hers and pull up toward him, her back against his chest.   
“Push, push” the midwife called and Taron suddenly understood.   
“Eryn baby you need to push” he told her  
Eryn looked in no state to do anything but sleep, she was covered in sweat and whimpered in reply. But the midwife looked stern. Taron swallowed.  
“Eryn fucking push, I am not joking” he demanded,  
Eryn’s face suddenly turned white in shock and she crumbled, but she nodded pressing her feet into the metal grooves on the flat bed, she gripped Taron’s biceps and pushed with all she had, Taron was gobsmacked. The strength of her grip was intense, he winced under the pain of it. But watching her face set and determined he felt nothing but pride and adoration. As she screamed out each push.   
The midwife nodded approvingly, holding up one finger.  
“One more Eryn, Come on baby, You can do this” he told her.   
She pressed her chin to her chest and with another massive burst of unknown energy, she let out the loudest growl. Her back pushing against Taron so hard he felt himself hit the metal behind him.   
Falling back exhausted. Taron saw her. His little girl. As the midwife lifted her onto Eryn’s chest, she screamed an irritated cry at being dumped so unceremoniously. Taron burst into tears, shaking as he looked at her, she was so small.  
Instinctively Eryn pulled the blanket up around her and tucked her into her arms. Seren’s eyes were still closed and scrunched up, she nuzzled at Eryn’s skin, making open mouthed movements that made her look like a fish. She wriggled and managed to move somehow, within a second, she managed to line herself up and grasp Eryn’s nipple, suckling. Eryn gulped and looked at Taron overwhelmed.   
“Oh my god, oh my god she just, she” was all Eryn could manage. Taron nodded, unable to speak he simply stroked Seren’s arm with his finger gently and stared unblinking at the small bundle, now happily suckling.   
They had arrived at the hospital and staff began to rush about,   
“Mr Egerton? Someone in a white coat that Taron assumed was a doctor asked and he nodded. “We have been really rather confused; we had a call come in from England to say that your baby was being born” he told them. Taron and Eryn looked at each other confused.   
“Oh, I told Guy that you were in labour” he said “Ok, because we have had a lot of calls asking you to call England” he added “I’ll call once we are settled, Mam is probably going nuts” he laughed. Eryn was transferred to a hospital trolley along with Seren. Taron jumped from the truck and thanked the midwife as best he could. Before quickly catching up with Eryn.  
Eryn was soon settled onto the modern post-natal ward, in a single private room. She was meant to be sleeping but was unable to, instead she watched as Taron sat next to her, holding Seren and relayed the drama over in her head. She chuckled lightly watching the beaming adoration in Taron’s eyes.   
“Hey, you need to ring your mam. Eryn reminded him, He pouted as he passed the baby back to Eryn. Finding his phone, he sat next to Eryn and wrapped an arm around her.   
“First selfie time” he grinned, snapping a row of shots of the three of them. He looked at the missed calls and voicemails  
“Bloody Hell Eryn, they have had everyone calling, what on …” he broke off as his eyes read the text showing. He took a huge breath and looked at Eryn unsure how to tell her what he had read?  
“What Taron? What’s happened? That’s your how do I break the bad news face; You are scaring me? she told him  
“I think Henny gave birth? He told her


	101. Chapter 101

As she was contemplating getting out, Taron appeared in the doorway. He had used the other bathroom for his shower and was now looking fresher, clean clothes and a shave made him look healthier too. He was definitely looking more like himself she thought. He sat on the toilet and they chatted about the next few days, when Taron heard cries   
“oh shit, I need to set the baby monitor up” he groaned “I’ll get her first though, shall I bring her up? or do you want to come down? He asked.  
“Bring her up, I think I might crawl into bed and try to sleep after” she answered. He winked at her as he left and she pulled herself out. Drying herself off she looked at herself in the reflection,   
“one down one to come” she smiled


	102. Chapter 102

Chapter 102  
The adrenalin was now beginning to wear off, as Eryn became aware of just how little sleep she was going to get with Seren feeding every 2 hrs, she was amazingly good at time keeping so her parents knew when to expect her little nuzzling noises that soon became a cry that hurt your heart to hear.   
The day after arriving home, Tina rang to check up on everyone, knowing they were dying to see her and with Eryn’s agreement, Taron invited the family up the road to meet Seren.   
The house was awash with bits and pieces and Eryn began to get antsy about tidying it all up, when she suddenly burst into tears. Taron turned and melted when he saw her   
“Hey what’s all this? He asked as she gripped him tightly, he nudged her with his shoulder to get her to look at him.  
“Baby why are crying? He asked confused  
“I don’t even bloody know” she half-cried, half laughed. As she buried her head in his neck. He held her smiling and rocked her.  
“Bloody hormones” she grumbled into his neck; he nodded his understanding.   
“And probably exhaustion too, maybe I ought to put them all off coming so you can sleep? He suggested. But Eryn shook her head.  
“No, I want to see everyone, especially Hen” she told him,   
“I’ll just nap on the recliner until they get here, besides Seren’s down here in the crib anyway, so no point me going up” she added. Taron helped her get comfortable and before he had walked away, she was already sleeping. He gazed into the crib, it was his new favourite past time, just sitting or standing and gazing at his new daughter in adoration.   
Texting his Mam, he too slumped on a recliner and found himself drifting off. Finally, able to relax in their own home, felt amazing.   
They both managed a couple of hours, but were woken by the sound of the postman, dropping a pile of cards and packages through. Now awake Eryn stretched and yawned. She felt sore as and her breasts felt heavy. Seeing the breast pump in a pile of boxes she had an idea.  
“Taron, pass me the pump please? She asked groaning a little bit, from moving to quick. Taron pulled the box out from under the pile of baby items and began to read the instructions. He pulled two dome shaped items from the box and laid them on the floor next to him, then two USB chargers. Picking up one of the domes he found the socket and reached under the side table for the extension plugs.  
“Ooh that’s lucky, two spaces” he laughed. Plugging the two chargers in, with the domes attached. He looked up proudly.   
“Keep going, what’s next? Eryn asked, loving how excited Taron was to be putting together a new toy. She on the other hand was looking at it wondering what the hell it was going to do to her breasts. He pulled out two transparent, funnel shaped objects, and held them up to his chest, dancing from side to side and pretending they were a bra. He laughed again and threw them lightly to Eryn, who looked at them and began to feel even more concerned. Taron found the instruction booklet and began to read. Just as Seren began to stir.  
“No expressing for me then? Eryn groaned though secretly was pleased and moved to get up to pick Seren up, but Taron was having none of it. He was up and over to the crib in no time, just then his phone rang. He ignored the ringing and scooping Seren up, he tucked her into the crook of his elbow.  
“Hello, sweet pea did you have a lovely sleep? He cooed. She opened her eyes and yawned, stretching her arms out sideways and looked up at Taron.   
“You hungry baby girl? He asked pulling the changing mat out and laying it flat on the floor in front of him. He lay Seren on it and she cried, unhappy to be so openly exposed. Taron sat down with the mat between his legs and soothed her   
“I’m coming baby, I’m coming” he was ruffled by her cries, hating the sound of them. He un-poppered her sleepsuit and vest. Taking in the odour he pulled a face, making Eryn laugh.   
“Oh Seren, that’s not very ladylike” he smiled down at her as she kicked her tiny feet around. Opening the nappy, he gasped.   
“Holy hell” he moaned, He realised that he had forgotten the water and cotton. Eryn stopped him from getting up and climbed out of the recliner, She quickly wandered into the kitchen and filled a small bowl set aside with warm water and grabbed the bag of cotton from the side. Walking back into the lounge she set both beside Taron, smiling down at Seren, She sat next to him and watched as he played with her hands, watching as they gripped his thumb.   
“Do you know what Seren? Taron asked   
“You get to meet all your family today; Mammy and Daddy are going to need a lot of wine” he laughed as Eryn swatted him.   
He opened the nappy and expertly cleaned her, he had been scared to do so at first, at least until Eryn assured him that he wouldn’t hurt her little vagina. He was incredibly light and delicate as it was, so Eryn had no worries about him being heavy handed.  
Taron’s phone was ringing yet again, so Eryn slipped her hand into his jogger pocket and pulled it out. It was Tina, she had sent a text to say they were leaving, looking at the time she saw it had been sent 10 minutes earlier. Meaning they were about to be there.  
“Erm Taron, your family are going to be here earlier than we thought, as in like now” she told him. Running her hand through her hair, she felt dishevelled and rough still. But guessed she was presentable enough. She had wanted to put Seren in some kind of cute outfit but knew that she was about to be cuddled to death anyway, no one would notice.  
There was a knock at the door, as soon as Eryn finished speaking. Taron was fixing Seren’s poppers and told Eryn to just get herself comfy on the recliner before the madness began. She got up and moved, to the recliner as Taron handed Seren down to her, She latched her onto her breast and Taron helped her to attach a breast shell to the other side to collect anything that leaked.  
“Coming Mam” he shouted, startling Seren. It made her star fish out her eyes wide, she began to scream not only was she scared, she had been rudely removed from the breast and was not impressed.  
“Oh baby, I am so, so sorry. Daddy didn’t mean to scare you” Taron cried and stroked her head gently   
“Silly Daddy” Eryn cooed and re latched her.   
The door knocked again and Taron heard Tina’s key in the lock. He made his way to the front door and was about to open it as Tina made her way in. The door hitting Taron and Tina crashing into him.  
“Shit Mam” Taron moaned   
“Sorry darling, we assumed you were caught up” she smiled, pulling Taron in for a hug. The girls ducked under everyone and pushed through they ran into the lounge as the unmistakable sound of Henny roared over the top of everyone.  
“Come on some of us still have a massive weight to carry around, can we move in so I can grab a pew please? She moaned  
Tina finally let Taron go and they piled into the lounge. The girls were already next to Eryn and watching Seren as she fed. They were nervous looking but enthralled watching her little movements. Henny plonked onto the other recliner and huffed.  
“Well this is no fair, is it? How come you got to get this over and I’m still here, hefting this” she moaned pointing at her bump. Taron took the opportunity to get some time in with Wren and moved over to Henny, giving her a hug. He sat next to her and whispered in her ear, Henny nodded smiling and Taron began stroking her bump and spoke in hushed tones against it.  
Mari watched confused “Taron what are you doing? She asked  
“Talking to Wren, Mari” he smiled  
“So that she doesn’t get jealous” he added, Mari wandered over and gave Taron’s arm a hug.   
“You ok Bug? he asked, she snuggled into his jumper and seemed much more quiet than usual  
“You getting jealous too? He added, moving her from his arm, he pulled her into a hug. She nodded quietly  
“Aww Mari, you don’t need to be jealous, I am still your big brother and you’re still my bug” he told her, kissing the top of her head. He moved to a spot at Eryn’s feet and let Mari sit on his knee, his arm around her. Rosie not wanting to being left out took the other side and the pair of them chatted about Costa Rica and all that had happened.  
Meanwhile, Seren had finally finished her meal and Tina had been passed her granddaughter. She sat on the sofa next to Guy. The proud pair were beaming as they chatted and fawned over her. Eryn was exhausted and rested her head on the cushion. She turned to Henny who was also barely awake.   
“Not much longer Hen” she urged  
“I know, but I have the labour to deal with yet, you can fill me in on all those gory details” she grimaced.  
“I’m sorry we weren’t here” Eryn said  
“It wasn’t maybe the best idea to go away so close to the due date, I suppose sorry guys that was my idea” Tina added  
“But it all worked out ok, You didn’t miss anything and we have this little angel now, yes we do” she said stroking Seren’s nose with the tip of her index finger.   
“What about you Hen? You want a cuddle with Seren? Eryn asked, something was not quite right, she could feel it. She hoped that it was just the last days of pregnancy that was irritating Henny. For the most part it was not obvious at all, but as her best friend Eryn knew when something was bothering Henny. She had pretty much ignored Seren entirely and tutted or huffed whenever she was mentioned, which was most of the time.   
“Maybe later Ren” she answered.   
“Can I hold her? Mari asked, Taron looked at Eryn concern visible on his face. But Eryn smiled,  
“Of course, you can Auntie Mari” she smiled, Tina moved up on the sofa and Mari sat next to her, Taron showed her how to hold her arms and to protect her head. Then Tina placed Seren into her arms. Seren who before now had been fast asleep. Opened her bright blue eyes and looked into Mari’s as if she were taking her in.  
“Seren, I’m Mari, I’m your Auntie” she told her, bending a little she kissed Seren on the forehead and gave her an eskimo kiss.   
“She’s pretty and really soft” Mari smiled  
“she is, isn’t she? said Taron, he saw Rosie watching, she was bobbing on tip toes and biting the inside of her mouth.  
“Come on then Auntie Rosie’s turn” he said taking Rosie’s hand and pulling her to him. She looked really worried.   
“Don’t worry, I’ll help you ok?” he whispered. Tina was finishing taking reels of photo’s as Taron lifted Seren and the girls switched places, Rosie wriggled into place and held her hands the same way Mari had. Taron lowered Seren into her arms and placed his hand under Rosie’s, to reassure her.  
Rosie’s face broke into a beaming smile as Seren, blinked at her and reached a hand up into the air. Rosie looked at Taron, who put his thumb in Seren’s palm watching her close her minute fingers around it. He took it out and taking Rosie’s hand motioned for her to do the same. He watched as she did and grinned as he saw the look of pride on Rosie’s face.   
“Hi Seren, I’m Auntie Rosie, I am going to read you bedtime stories when you are bigger and you can come in our all girls tree house” she said quietly to her. Taron felt a lump in his throat and again that over-whelming love for all his family. Seeing Rosie was a little uncomfortable and stiff now, he took Seren and laid her in the crib in the corner.   
The rest of the afternoon went by in a flash, the family chatted and drank copious cups of tea. At 6pm though, it was obvious Henny, Eryn and Taron were flagging and needed to sleep. Tina, Guy and the girls said goodbye, hugging and kissing Eryn and Taron and planting small kisses on Seren. The girls giddy from the excitement skipped ahead of their parents, though Henny dropped back.   
“Sorry I’ve been a grump all day” she said hugging Eryn  
“I’ve just had enough now and I’m scared” she told her as she leant into Eryn’s neck.  
“Tell me it was a doddle? Please?” she asked her. Eryn stood back “Hen, I barely remember any of it, I promise you will be fine” Eryn lied, she saw no value in telling Henny the truth. That it was the worst pain and like hell on earth. She saw Henny breath out heavily.  
“Thank god, because my water broke like an hour ago, I’ve been contracting all afternoon” she bent a little as another contraction hit her.  
“Taron, TARON! Eryn screamed.


	103. Chapter 103

Chapter 103  
Following some moments of chaos, Guy and Tina with both girls running back up to the house and everyone pouring into one car or another. Taron and Eryn bringing up the rear having had to get Seren into their van and remember all they needed to bring with her. It was the most time they had ever taken just leaving the house.   
They arrived at Bronglais Hospital in a mess of noise that the midwives, experienced and calm were more than used to. Taron carrying Seren in the car seat, handed her to Tina to watch over while he and Eryn supported Henny.  
“Right now, all non-essential family members can go grab a coffee in the café and someone will no doubt text you” one midwife told the chattering group.  
“Ok, that’s us three” Henny groaned. The contractions had been coming in earnest in the car and now she was beginning to see what lies Eryn had been telling her.   
“OK, So you must be Daddy” the midwife smiled at Taron,   
“Yes” he said looking to Henny and Eryn to help explain the set up  
“I’m their surrogate, just the idiot who said she’d carry this little bugger and failed to recognise the labour part” Henny groaned, but tried to smile at Taron who was unsure if she was being funny or honest or both. The midwife led the three of them through the double doors onto the labour ward. Meanwhile Tina and Guy took the girls to get a drink, she watched Guy take the car seat and carry Seren carefully. She smiled remembering Mari and Rosie at that age and tried not to become overcome with memories. They stopped at the small coffee shop and found a table.   
“We need to make sure they have all they need this time” Tina said, pulling out a pad from her handbag and a pen. She wrote a list;  
“Well Henny will need her hospital bag, that’s is the car, oh the other car seat for bringing Wren home, oh god we have no milk for Seren? Tina said suddenly. Putting Guy into action as was usually the way, she began to explain the breast pump to him, then decided she had better just find it herself. They drank their drinks chatting excitedly about another baby coming. Then a test came in from Eryn;  
“Henny’s all good, on gas and air she is even more ‘herself’ see you in a minute we are coming to join you” it read and sure enough Taron and Eryn holding hands appeared around the corner, grinning from ear to ear.  
“So, panic over for now, she’s only 6cm so could be a long night, the midwives and Henny told us to go home and they would call when she was nearer. She’s going to try and sleep” said Eryn as they sat down. Taron tucking Mari under an arm, she was definitely feeling a little confused and worried about her relationship with Taron and he was more than happy to give her and Rosie the reassurance they needed. No longer the ‘babies’ of the family or the ones who had all the attention would be an adjustment for them, that had been overlooked a little. But Eryn knew only too well how easily these feelings of discontent could hurt and leave damage years on. She was already surreptitiously keeping an eye on them and was proud to see Taron had already picked up on it and as she knew he would reacted perfectly.  
Tina and Eryn chatted productively and made plans for getting the things Henny needed to her as well as making sure Tina and Guy had all they needed to watch over Seren. It wasn’t something that anyone had considered and they laughed at the fact that they had all assumed the two would come together. Eryn tugged Taron’s arm, we better make a move if I am going to express and feed little pixie here. She said smiling at Seren as she stirred.   
“Which appears to be pretty soon” she laughed as Seren yawned, stretched and began to mouth the side of her car seat belt. Taron was eager to grab her and Eryn had to chuckle at how excited he was to do anything and everything for her, he would have her attached to him constantly she thought if he could. She could see how hard he found it to let her go even to sleep. But Eryn unclipped her belt and lifted her up to her shoulder. Seren mouthed at it and began to gripe as she found nothing of use to her. Eryn meanwhile expertly unclipped her maternity bra and was glad to have her maternity tops to allow her to access her breasts without fully lifting her top up. She latched Seren on and felt the tug of her suckling, she slipped the breast shell into the other side. It was a shame she thought they weren’t designed so she could keep them in, but they really were comical once under clothing, protruding far from her chest in a bizarre shape, making that impossible.  
As Seren suckled it came to Eryn that soon she’d have two to feed and felt a wash of excitement and nerves hit her. She looked to Taron who was staring at Seren, as she fed. His expression a dreamy one, she caught his eye and he blushed at being caught out. He chuckled a little and mouthed  
“What? at her, she blew him a kiss and shook her head. Tina and Guy decided to make a move home, the time was getting on and the girls had school the next day. They hugged each other and Taron made sure to cuddle the girls extra hard. He made a mental note to take them out soon, to give them some attention without others around. Guy was given the task of bringing Henny’s hospital bag up to Eryn and Taron’s house so they could bring it with them when they came back up. Saying their goodbyes, each kissed Seren on her head as she fed, she looked up at each as if to acknowledge them, but not allowing it to distract her meal. Eryn swapped breasts and sighed. Taron passed her a bottle of water, knowing she needed to hydrate when she was feeding. She was nibbling on a fruit pack that she’d thrown into the changing bag.  
“Are you ready? Taron asked sounding anything but.  
“No, but then we were hardly ready for this one and look at us already, we are doing great” she said  
“You are doing incredible; you are so natural Eryn I am literally in awe” he wasn’t being overly kind either he had never seen Eryn look so naturally in control or comfortable as she did now. In everything she did, even her writing she always showed her lack of confidence and the damage done to her self-worth sometimes. But since Seren was born she not only glowed with pride and love for her daughter, but Taron felt a sense peace coming from her. It was amazing considering what had happened in Costa Rica, he thought that she wasn’t traumatised. But here she was commanding motherhood like a pro.  
Seren let go of Eryn and wriggling uncomfortably, Eryn passed her to Taron to wind and change. He changed her wet nappy easily feeling now he was an expert at it. Winding was another matter; he had been shown how but was still nervous. He sat her on the edge of his knee, his thumb and index finger holding her chin and palm supporting her tummy as with his other hand he patted her back and rubbed gentle circles alternating the two until she belched dramatically.   
“Well done, sweetheart that was a big one” he told her, making Eryn laugh  
“Takes after you there babe” she added, finishing re-dressing herself and putting everything away in the bag. While Taron wrapped Seren up and placed her carefully in the car seat, she grumbled and began to cry. Taron sang gently to her and rocked the seat, but she wasn’t impressed this time. He continued to try all the way to the van. But she was not to be consoled so easy, once he had fastened her into the seat of the van, he looked worried at Eryn. But Eryn was smiling  
“She’s a girl, she’s not always easily dealt with” she told him  
“I don’t like it, what’s wrong with her? he asked concern etched on his face. As he climbed into the driver seat.   
“Just start driving and she will settle” Eryn told him, she couldn’t explain it but somehow, she knew this was not a cry to worry over. She was loving the way she found her instinct working so strongly in her, she had always struggled with her judgements and didn’t necessarily trust her own choices, decisions etc. But something seemed to be coming through her, even without her asking for it, a peace and calm that told her what to do and what not to, what to worry over and what not to. She had to admit that so far motherhood was the best thing she had ever experienced.   
And as if by magic, once the van began to move, the white noise of the engine and the motion of the movement lulled baby Seren off to sleep. Eryn grinned arrogantly at Taron  
“See told you” she laughed  
But her laughter didn’t last long as the phone rang and Eryn saw the hospitals number displayed.  
“Hello, is that Mr Egerton? The midwife asked  
“Er its Mrs Egerton, Mr Egerton is driving” Eryn replied edgy  
“Ahh I am ringing about Helen McCrory, I’m to tell you to make your way back to the hospital. Not to rush, but Helen is now 9cm dilated and we think within the hour we will be pushing” she laughed down the line.  
“Ok Thank you we won’t be long” Eryn ended the call.  
“Erm detour to your Mam’s grab the stuff and straight back Henny’s 9cm, which means baby Wren is coming soon” she told him staring wildly at him, it hitting her that soon she would be a mother of two.  
Taron gawped, He swung the van around and headed toward the hospital.   
“Ring Mam, she will get the things we need, we are going straight back, I will not let us miss this” he said determination set on his face. Eryn tapped out the text and received one back immediately. Eryn had to tell Taron to calm down a couple of times, before they arrived. Once they had, Eryn took hold of Seren and her changing bag as Taron was leaning against the van, staring into the sky.   
“Come on space cadet” she said holding out her free hand.   
“Let’s meet baby Wren” she smiled at him and turning he shook himself and came back to reality. Taking the car seat for Eryn, they walked back into the labour ward.  
Henny’s midwife was called Dawn, she was very sweet and cooed over baby Seren. Henny had filled her in on the whole situation over the time she had been waiting and so Dawn wasn’t surprised to see Taron and Eryn already with a baby. Walking into the labour room, Henny looked shattered already. She was strapped to monitors and bouncing on a giant exercise ball, sucking on gas and air. She looked nothing like her usual put together self and Taron felt self-conscious as if he weren’t meant to be there or seeing her in this state. But Henny being her usual self soon had everyone laughing and the atmosphere became much lighter. Taron took a chair in the corner and watched over Seren until a short while later, he received a text to say Tina was outside. He took the chance to escape and Eryn kissed Seren goodbye before she went. She hadn’t had time to express yet and promised to do it once Taron came back in.   
Meeting Tina he burst into tears  
“Hey what is it? This is meant to be a happy event. Tina asked her son, hugging him, Seren in her car seat having been placed on the ground.  
“It’s just a lot Mam, I feel a bit awkward I mean Henny isn’t my wife and she’s all undressed and I don’t know, it’s just different if it were Eryn I…” he said  
“I know, It’s not going to be the same sweetheart, but it’s still your baby girl in there, I know you’re a daddy already but Wren needs you as much as Seren” she told him  
“I know that Mam” he snapped a little  
“Ok, Taron I wasn’t meaning anything in saying that all I meant was focus on that part of what’s going on and maybe stick close to Eryn, take her lead. It must be even stranger for her, knowing everything Henny is going through and for you guys, not herself” she added  
Taron thought for a moment, having moved out of the hug, he pulled his mam back in and squeezed her, she returned the pressure knowing he needed it.  
“It’s just nerves darling, go on get back in there, you don’t want to miss Wren” she urged, rubbing her hands down his arms.  
“Thanks Mam” he sighed  
“Oh, and Eryn said she’s not had time to express any milk, but Seren ought to be good for two hours now, I’ll get her going as soon as I get back in there, its all a bit nuts isn’t it” he chuckled  
“Yep, Babies caused havoc, I love you Taron and I know you can do this, so go on get” she chided him.   
“Ok Mam Love you too” he groaned playfully and kissed the side of her head, bending down he did the same with Seren.  
“Be good for Nain, little buglet while mammy and daddy get your little sister” he told her, standing back up he mused  
“Weird that Wren technically is Seren’s little sister” Tina nodded and gestured for him to go as she picked up the car seat and made sure Taron took the empty one and hospital bag she had brought.   
When he got back in the room, All was still as he left, though Eryn was now sat on the hardback chair he had been and Henny had her eyes closed concentrating. Eryn explained that they had given Henny a shot of pethidine to help her and that’s why she seemed a little more comfortable.  
“Well she’s not making the noises you were” he laughed, Taking the pump from the bag he handed the dome sections to Eryn to place in her bra. She did as instructed and once she pressed start, she felt them begin. They were almost silent which was great, but it was a weird sensation to have both breasts being pulled at simultaneously.   
“I feel like a cow” Eryn remarked, making Taron burst out laughing  
“I do, like I’m being milked at a dairy” she added laughing too.  
Taron sat next to her on the bed and opened the hospital bag, taking out the baby clothes and a nappy setting them in the bassinet ready, he also checked for anything Henny had brought for labouring. She’d packed drinks and snacks and when she saw them, she offered them to Eryn and Taron. Eryn took her up on the offer as she knew she had to eat and drink while breastfeeding, she guessed it was the same for expressing. Taron though held off; his appetite gone.  
With a lull in the excitement, Henny snoozed as Eryn and Taron chatted about nothing much. When she had finished expressing. Taron poured what she had into the bags that came with it and sealed them ready for Seren. He text Guy to say they were ready and received a thumbs up emoji.  
That done both Eryn and Taron could concentrate better and were glad because when the next contraction hit, Taron recognised the noise Henny made.  
“Holy FUCKKKKKKKKKKK what the hell Eryn!” she screamed as it came down some and she was able to talk. Eryn looked to Taron guiltily. As the contractions suddenly intensified. Taron hit the nurse call button and Dawn appeared.   
“Ok Hen, I heard that down the hall let’s take a look, shall we? She said jovially. Bending down she pushed her hand up Henny’s vagina, making Taron cringe and look away. Eryn squeezed her legs together remembering the experience not too long ago.   
“yup Hen, she’s a coming” she smiled  
“Let’s get you on all fours my love” she helped Henny off of the ball and Taron moved it out of the way as Henny moved onto the floor on all fours. A soft mat was under her and she found this change of position helped, though again came that awful scream. Eryn had to squeeze Taron’s hand each time  
“Did I do that? She whispered to him  
“Don’t you remember? He replied incredulous  
“Omg Yes and worse Eryn it was terrifying” he replied. Eryn saw the fear in his eyes as he replayed it in his mind. She stroked his cheek and kissed him.  
“I’m sorry baby” she whispered  
“Oi Lovebirds when you’re done, I am pushing your kid out over here” Henny yelled at the couple in between screams. Eryn and Taron moved nearer  
“Hen what can we do?” Eryn asked. Taron remembered from Costa Rica and moved to her lower back  
“Hen, I am just going to rub your back ok? He asked and received a nod. Her gown was already open and she wore nothing under it. He felt self-conscious but wanted to help so began the same massaging hand movements he had been shown by the village ladies.  
“OH yes” Henny groaned raising a round of laughter from the room. It sounding sexual.   
“Taron that is brilliant, damn it thank you” she continued, though still screamed like crazy when the contractions hit one after the other in almost constant succession.  
“Right lets start pushing Henny, please” the midwife told her, putting her gloves on and placing herself by Henny’s backside she moved her hands to hold open the area. Eryn moved to Henny’s head and began trying to encourage her verbally, even if she couldn’t answer Eryn could tell if she was helping or annoying Henny.  
Taron gave up on massaging when it became clear nothing would sooth her now and with and intense scream, they heard Dawn declare that the head was out, she called Eryn and Taron to see and with a bit of encouragement they stroked her head. Taron forgot all about Henny and was overcome by what he was seeing. He had been at the wrong end for Seren and saw nothing of her emerge, so this was special. Eryn of course had no idea what she had done, but now seeing Henny do it was in awe of herself if a little traumatised.   
“Right my love one more push and we are done” Dawn encouraged  
An enormous scream later and Wren was delivered into the world. Dawn had Taron and Eryn cut her cord together. Taron had been allowed to do it for Seren and it was something he treasured as a memory and something to tell the girls when they grew up. Wren unlike Seren was not impressed by the world and instantly screamed.  
Eryn felt the wetness before she understood what had happened and quickly sat in the chair and undid her top. The midwife cleaned Wren off and handed her to Eryn, Taron perched next to her and watched as Wren latched on. She was similar to Seren in so many ways, but slightly bigger and her eyes were more rounded like Eryn’s. It was weird and wonderful to see how alike they were despite everything being so different.  
“She’s amazing” Eryn purred, stroking her head.  
“I can’t believe I have you as well little Nug” The pair were transfixed on Wren. As Henny was helped to produce the placenta and tidy herself up, she was helped into bed. She avoided looking at Wren and Taron noticing turned and hugged her.  
“This must feel very strange but thank you Henny. I literally cannot tell you how grateful I am for you and for doing this for us” he told her squeezing her.  
“She is as much a part of you as she is us Hen, I get it is hard and you need to do what you need to do now, just tell us what that is ok? If you want us to take her out of here, we can, it’s totally up to you” he added  
Henny looked at Taron and nodded.  
“I just need a bit of time alone guys ok” she mumbled.  
“I get it Hen” Eryn said, she was sad as she felt Henny needed support, not even beginning to understand how this must feel for her. She handed Wren to the midwife who placed her in the bassinet and took her to be checked by the doctors and given the, all clear to be discharged. Taron following behind he left Eryn alone to talk with Henny.  
“Are you ok? She asked  
“I don’t know Eryn; I’m knackered and want sleep. I’m not feeling maternal though in case you’re worried, I wondered if I might you know. But I’m ok” She replied  
“Remember what we said, we still support you in this, whatever you need ok” Eryn told her friend, hugging her tightly.   
“You can see her or not see her however you want it Hen, Thank you so much, I cannot even begin” she said tears running down her cheeks  
“You lied you bitch” Henny laughed as she two cried as well   
“I had to I’d have scared you silly otherwise” she told her  
“True, But seriously Eryn I am glad I did this” she smiled, wiping her tears   
“Even if I have fucked up my vagina for life” she laughed and Eryn did too.  
“Now go on woman, go take care of your gorgeous little family, I am going to sleep for the next week” she sighed  
“I love you Hen” Eryn cried hugging Henny again, tighter than before.  
“I love you too Babs” Henny returned the hug.  
Shutting the door to the room, Eryn stood for a moment and let it sink in. She turned and saw Taron beaming as he carried the car seat with Wren all wrapped up in it.   
“All done, She can come straight home already” he grinned.  
“How is Henny? He asked as they walked slowly to the van. Eryn relayed the conversation and wrapping her arms around his hugged it. Once they reached the van and clipped Wren in, Eryn smiled   
“Taron look” she laughed, lifting Wren’s chin she pointed out a small brown dot.   
“She has your mole” she awed, Taron beamed and wrapping his arms around Eryn kissed her cheek.   
“That’s so cool, but she has your eyes” he said dreamily.   
Turning to face Taron, she kissed him gently. Resting her forehead against his.   
“I love you Taron Egerton” she said softly  
“I love you too Eryn Egerton” he replied   
“and I am the happiest man alive, the luckiest, happiest man alive” he sighed.


	104. Chapter 104

Chapter 104  
Taron sat on the floor, between his legs Seren and Wren lay together for the first time. It had been his idea to bath the two in a production line. Eryn sitting next to him with the bath between her legs, They felt in control at least for now. Two sets of nappies and clothes were ready to go and two bottles sat warming on the coffee table. Eryn had managed to express enough overnight to make these up. The idea being that Taron would be able to take on some of the feeding duties to allow Eryn a chance to sleep.   
It was now that Tina appeared, letting herself in.   
“Good morning” she called through, walking into the lounge she was impressed.  
“You guys look like you have it all under control, so what shall I do? have you guys eaten? She smiled, her eyes on Seren and Wren, she pulled faces at them, ignoring Taron and Eryn entirely.  
“Coffee” Eryn groaned   
“Coffee” Taron looked excitedly at Tina   
“Please Mam” he chuckled playing with Seren who was kicking her feet and trying to put Wren’s fist in her own mouth. Wren was unperturbed as she was already sucking her own. Tina moved into the kitchen quickly as Taron began to up dress Wren first, causing her to grizzle at him  
“I know Nug, it’s cold huh, but you get to have a lovely bath with Mammy in a minute” he smiled handing her carefully to Eryn. Who lowered her into the water. Wren began to cry shrilly, not liking being so exposed. Taron looked worried and Eryn tried to wash her quickly.  
“She just needs to get used to it, it’s all new” Tina assured them, kneeling down. She stroked Wren’s head gently as Eryn gently washed her.   
“Do you want me to show you how to do her hair? She asked kindly  
“please” said Eryn. Tina picked up the hooded towel Eryn had on her knee and lifting Wren from the water, laid her on it, wrapping her tightly in it. She tucked her feet under her arm and bent her head down to the bath, the towel tight around her chin, Tina then scooped the water and trickled it over Wren’s head, tilting her in such a way that the water ran off the back of her head. She rubbed her fingers lightly in her sprinkling of red hair and using the hood, dabbed it dry.  
“Done” Tina said returning Wren to lay crossways, her head in the crook of her arm, she rocked her gently.  
“That was terrifying Mam, I’m so scared I’d drop her” Taron told Tina.   
He was already undressing Seren and passed her to Eryn. Tina wandered around and lay Wren on the mat in front of Taron.   
You can do Seren, I will stand behind and I promise it’s not as scary as you think” she told him.   
“Hmmm” he mused, but pulling the nappy off the pile behind him, began to dress Wren. Eryn washed Seren, who adapted a little better to the bath than Wren but still gave out a strident cry. That ran through Taron.  
Eryn rubbed his arm reassuringly   
“Baby you are going to have to realise they are going to cry and that is alright, you don’t need to jump each time they do she said Handing Seren to him. She pulled herself on the recliner and lifted Wren to her lap and held her ready to feed. Meanwhile Tina showed Taron how to wash Seren’s head. He held her tight, his eyes focused as he carefully copied   
“Tina would you like to? She asked as she realised the bottles were ready. It took her no time to agree and So Eryn passed Wren over to her grandmother, before taking Seren from Taron to dress. He then began to tidy away the bath and other bits and pieces. Before plopping himself eagerly into the other recliner, the other bottle in his hand. Now dressed Eryn chucked at him as he too Seren gently and touched her lip to the teat, Seren looked quizzically at it for a moment, opening her mouth, Taron pressed it in, to which Seren responded by pushing her tongue against it and pushed it out again. He looked up confused and disappointed.  
“Keep trying, she’ll get it, Wren did that too” Tina told him. Eryn sat and watched feeling a little left out, her breasts responded and she groaned as she felt the wet patches on her top. She quickly grabbed the pump and began to express while she watched Tina and Taron, both gazing adoringly down at the girls, who now they had the idea were guzzling away.  
“This is when you ought to be sleeping Eryn” Tina urged Eryn seeing her eyes dropping a little,   
“Well both of you, once they are settled you two can go straight up, I will stay here and when they next need a feed I will have what your expressing to give them, you can both catch up a reasonable amount then” she told them. Neither Eryn nor Taron were going to argue. The first night with both girls had been hard going, Seren waking as soon as Wren had settled made it particularly difficult because it had meant both had to be almost all night. That was when Taron seeing Eryn exhausted and constantly feeding, decided it was time he got involved and helped feed too. He looked across at her now and saw her tiredness as much as Tina could. He felt great, he knew the lack of sleep would hit him hard soon, but for now the excitement of the everything was keeping him going. He watched as Seren drained the last of the bottle and lifted it out of her mouth. Her eyes too were heavy and he saw so much of Eryn in the drowsy little face she made. He lifted her and resting her on his knee began to wind her, his mother having Wren on her shoulder doing the same was greeted with a beautiful burp and a dribble of milk down her top.  
“Oh Mam, I think Wren left you a little present” Taron laughed as Seren added her own burp to the laughter and promptly threw up down Taron’s leg.   
“Oh Seren, My little buglet that was un-called for” he laughed Tina threw him a muslin and the baby wipes as she cleaned Wren’s chin with another muslin, she had a quick feel of Wren’s nappy and deciding it was good, moved over to the crib, laying Wren gently down and covering her with the blanket.   
She took Seren from Taron to allow him to clean up and placed her next to her sister. Taron had moved the divider, so the girls slept together.  
“Right both of you, bed” Tina ordered,   
“Taron you might feel better, but you need to remember that you are still recovering from chemotherapy, you need to rest. I decided and I don’t care if you two don’t like it, I’m going to come round every day during the week, while the girls are at school, to help out, then on Saturday and Sunday I will stay over-night, no arguments. It what I wish I had had when I had you and the girls, so I won’t take no for an answer” she smiled.  
Taron looked at her and fell into her arms  
“Mam” he said tenderly, Squeezing her, he felt her do the same  
“Go on then up” she scolded him, Eryn too hugged Tina. Before she too was directed to go to bed. Taron had begun to tidy up again but was stopped by Tina and he finally followed Eryn upstairs. The crawled into bed and each other’s arms. Eryn tucked herself into him tightly and purred dreamily into his neck as he held her lovingly. Her eyes closed she kissed his shoulder and neck. He wore a huge smile and looked down at Eryn adoringly.  
“I feel like I’m dreaming” he sighed kissing her forehead and moving down making them face to face. He kissed her smoothly, his smile breaking through as he caressed her lips with his, she tilted her head telling him to continue in every movement. She whimpered into him as they broke apart.   
“Taron, I have felt that way ever since we met” she chuckled. “It’s just how it is, wherever you go magic happens she told him. He rolled his eyes.   
“Look in that crib downstairs and tell me different” she replied to it. He looked into her eyes and stroked her cheek, “Darling, that’s not my doing, it’s yours” he told her.   
“Can’t be, Not that kind of perfection” she sighed happily  
“They are both really perfect, aren’t they? He shook tears from his eyes as Eryn rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes.  
“Completely and utterly perfect” she breathed. “Just” she said kissing the bridge of his nose  
“like” she said kissing the tip  
“you” she finished kissing his lips.  
He shook his head as guided her to lay back in the crook of his shoulder, Snuggling into each other.  
“Sleep Cariad, I have no energy to argue” he added, his eyes heavy, they were asleep in no time.  
When Taron did wake it was already dark and was amazed, he had not heard the girls and woke earlier. A warm light came from the nursery and from down the stairs. Eryn was still sleeping deeply and he took a moment to lay next to her and watch. He ran his fingers through her now long hair and twirled it between his fingers. He smiled lovingly at her.   
Then hearing the cries of both girls, threw on his slippers and dressing gown and wandered out on to the landing, He saw Tina sat on the rocking chair, she had each girl under an arm, reasting on the maternity pillow a bottle in each mouth, she proudly gazed at them as they drank. Taron leant on the doorframe. Tina looked up and seeing him grinned  
“Still got it” she said as he walked over and stood behind her  
“You are a lucky man Taron; you look after these girl’s as well as you have your sisters and they will be so happy darling” she said picking up on a little of his anxiety.  
“I will mam, and more. You know you always told us you loved us so much, I know why now. It’s like each time they do something I love them more, it’s crazy the smallest thing” he laughed  
“Exactly, there are simply no words are there? She mused as she handed Wren to him to help her wind them. He placed a muslin on his shoulder off the changing station next to them and leaning Wren against him, patted her back gently. Tina did the same with Seren.  
“This is the exciting and beautiful bit though Taron, you need to be prepared for when this honeymoon period ends, Eryn is going to need your support when the baby blues begin and of course when you go back to work and it’s just her” she warned him  
He looked at her serious. He hadn’t really thought about going back to work and now the idea of leaving Eryn, Wren and Seren was far and away something he couldn’t imagine doing. But he knew he would have to. He nodded his understanding to her.   
“How is Henny? He asked having avoided the question  
“She’s ok, she’s talking about returning to London on Friday, I think she wants to try and get back to normality, I think best to let her just do her thing for a while” Tina laid Seren in her crib and Taron laid Wren next to her, the two of them tip toed out of the nursery.   
“You should go home Mam, You have Mari and Rosie to look after, we are good now” he told her.   
“I’ve loved every minute, don’t worry. I will go, but I’ll be back tomorrow and you can ring me any time, you know that” she told him, hugging him again.  
“How is it possible? My little boy a Daddy, I am so proud of you sweetheart” she said holding him tight.  
“Mam don’t cry” he said, holding back his own. They separated and Tina kissed her son on the cheek.  
“I love you baby boy” she said smiling  
“I love you too Mam” he replied.  
Taron showered and dressed whilst the girl’s slept, meanwhile Eryn woke and was surprised to see how long she had slept. She felt a hundred times better for it and hearing the shower, ushed back th duvet and wandered into the bathroom. She stood watching Taron singing as he washed his head, the bristles now showed the start of his hair returning. He belted out the notes and Eryn had to put her hand over her mouth to stop herself laughing loudly. He turned and seeing her giggling, cocked an eyebrow at her, before gesturing with his finger for her to come.  
She slipped her nightie of over her head and walked into the shower, letting the water run over her, Taron took hold of her hips and pulled her toward him, running his hands around to her bum he pressed himself tightly against her instead of eagerly joining in she decided to play a game with him and letting her arms simply hang by her side she dared him with her eyes. He reached a hand to her face and hit her with his lips in a passionate kiss that sent electricity run through the two of them. His fingers scraping through her scalp he pulled her hair gently back, her head falling backward eyes closed she exhaled as she felt his cock pressing against her. He kissed and bit at her neck as he travelled down to her breasts. He stopped, kissing her chest he returned to her neck.  
Eryn looked down confused as to what had made him stop, she saw the milk dripping from her nipples and knew instantly. It was hardly a turn on. She lifted his head and kissed him hard, pushing him back against the wall, he stumbled a little, taken aback as she pinned him to the wall. Dropping to her knees, she held his cock firmly and licking the tip teased him, he groaned as she used her firm grip to run her hand up and down his shaft, while she took him into her mouth fully and sucked rhythmically, holding her head in his hands he came hard. Shuddering, his legs weakened. He slid down the wall and sat on the floor, grabbing her face again he smashed his lips into hers, his tongue catching hers and delving deeply into her mouth. His hand ran up her neck and held the back of her head.   
It was then they heard the crying, breaking the moment between them. Taron still holing Eryn’s face kissed her lighter.   
“I’ll go” he said, getting out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and smiled back at her as she stood, reaching for the shampoo.  
When Eryn had done with her shower she walked out of the bathroom and found Taron, Wren on one shoulder and Seren on the other, both were complaining hard and Taron was dancing gently with them as he sang, trying to calm them.  
“I have no bottle’s they need you babe” he told her exasperated. He looked so adorable both girls, gumming his neck between cries like hungry little guppies. Eryn sat on the bed and Taron gratefully passed on after the other to her, they latched easily and began to suckle happily. Taron got dressed and crawled onto the end of the bed.  
“So, Mrs Egerton, what brought that little shower action on? I thought you would be completely put off anything going near that area ever again after Seren’s massive head came through it” he chuckled  
“God I wasn’t thinking of that! You just looked so sexy, I wanted to show you how hot you still are” she said coyly.   
“So, I was right in thinking sex is well and truly off the menu? he asked  
“It’s pretty much a car crash down there Welsh Boi, I think you would have trouble finding any of the parts in the same place, so no. I love you and everything, but the idea of anything going near there is terrifying right now” she laughed  
“Sorry” she added, Taron stroked her knee.  
“That’s exactly what I thought, Anyway the books say to wait 6 weeks” he told her  
“You and your books” she laughed, he grinned resting his head on her knee, he watched dreamily as the girls   
Fed.   
“This is so cool” he mused “Your body is so clever”   
“It is pretty terrific right now I reckon” Eryn replied “Oh, baby tell me, what was that earlier, in the shower. You stopped when you saw my breastmilk was leaking? She asked and Taron dropped his head.  
“I don’t know it just felt weird, like you said they belong to the girls now not me” he rested his chin on her knee as she stroked his cheek.  
“They can be both you know, I was only joking when I said that” she reassured him. He kissed her knee and smiled.   
“For now, I think Its best we keep them just for these two, it’s just weird being turned on by what essentially is their food source” he laughed. Eryn had winded Seren and laid her on the bed next to Taron as she did the same with Wren. Taron made faces that Seren giggled to reaching her hands up to grab Taron’s nose, he tickled her with it, peppering her with kisses. When Eryn placed Wren next to her sister, he did the same with Wren. The girls moved together and once each had a hand in their mouth’s they began to settle into sleep again. Taron stroking their noses gently making them close their eyes.   
Eryn stretched and stroked Taron head as she watched him. The door clattered open suddenly the noise of two chattering girls and two small dogs followed. A sterner voice came through and told the girls to take the dogs outside.   
“And there’s our peace and quiet gone” Taron chuckled. Moving carefully, he picked both girls up and carried them to the nursery, where he set them down in their crib and covered them lightly. Shutting the door as quietly as possible.  
“Mam, where are the babies? They aren’t here? Are Taron and Eryn here? Mari shouted  
“Mari Evan’s will you keep your voice down, you do not need to holler like that, if they are here, they will be asleep and you will have woken them up, now is that fair? Tina scolded. Mari looked sheepish   
“Sorry Mam, I just wanted to see the babies” she whined. Rosie on the other hand was sat in the recliner, her nose in a book.   
“Rosie, go and put the kettle on please” Tina asked and received a grumpy reply.  
“What has gotten into you today? Tina sighed,   
“Mari, if you are quiet you can go and check Taron and Eryn’s bedroom to see if they are awake, but do not go near that nursery, do you understand me young lady? She was sterner than ever and Mari nodded. But before she could get up the stairs, Taron jumped out from the doorway and made her squeal.  
“Ha-ha got you bug” he laughed grabbing her around the middle and tickling her.  
“Stop Taron, get off, Taron!” Mari laughed  
“Nup, can’t look my hand it’s glued to yours I can’t get it off” he said dramatically, As Mari tried to prise his hand from hers.  
“Taron! It’s not glued” she said when she managed to get it off her hand, he put it on her leg, then her head.  
“Damn it Mari, it’s stuck again look” he cried each time.   
“Help me Mari”  
Meanwhile Eryn had come through and hugged Tina, chuckling at Taron and Mari, she looked over Rosie’s book, and kissed her cheek.  
“You okay Ro? Eryn asked quietly. Rosie nodded simply and Tina shot Eryn a look of exasperation.   
“Rosie? Taron called from the floor mid tussle “What’s bugging you? He asked crawling over, while Mari straightened herself out and Eryn gave her a hug   
“You want the little un’s don’t you Mari? Eryn asked smiling.   
“They are sleeping, but if you’re quiet you can go and peak in at them with your Mam” she offered. Mari squealed and looked at Tina.  
“You can’t squeal though” Tina told her but nodded and took her youngest to the nursery.  
Eryn went to make drinks leaving Taron and Rosie. He perched on the arm of the chair.  
“So Sweet pea, you gonna spill or do I have to play the raspberry moustache game on you? He asked her  
“What! Nothings wrong, leave me alone” she huffed. Taron made his way around to face her and bent down.  
“Rosie, sweetheart you look unhappy and I want to help that’s all, I know the babies and Eryn are keeping me busy, But I am still your big brother Ro, you can talk to me? I want you to” he looked at her earnestly.  
“Its just not fair” she griped  
“Just because they are small and stuff, they get everyone going gooey over them” she humped.  
“You mean Seren and Wren? He asked  
“Yes” she nodded. Taron saw it immediately and hugged Rosie tight.   
“Rosie, Rosie, Oh my god darling do you know when you were born, you had all this fuss made of you and I felt a bit like that, like well hello I’m still here. But sweet pea do you know what, I realised how special you were too because you were my first ever sister and I understand what an amazing gift you were to me, I could be your big brother forever and do all these wonderful things for you and with you and have so much fun. I know they are little now, but Ro just wait we are going to do so much all of us, and just because I’m enjoying them and loving them doesn’t mean that I stopped loving you, that won’t ever happen, it can’t because you wiggled right in here and you won’t ever leave because I won’t let you, ok” he said placing his hand on his heart as he spoke.   
Rosie began to cry and Taron cuddled her again, rocking her a little. “It’s ok Sweet pea, it’s ok” he soothed.   
“I was scared that you would have no time now to spend with us and stuff” Rosie admitted. Tina and Mari appeared in the doorway as she spoke and Mari’s eyes dropped to the floor.  
“Not you too Bug” Taron cried and opened his arms Mari ran into them and He held both Mari and Rosie tightly. “You silly pair, I love you both you know that” he told them and they nodded.  
“Oh girls, I’m sorry I didn’t even think” said Tina. As she took one at a time from Taron and also hugged them.   
“You know that love is something that just gets bigger don’t you” she told them. They nodded  
“But Taron gave Seren my nickname” she moaned quietly  
Taron scooped her up and placed her on his hip.  
“You are and always will be my bug” he told her. “Seren is my buglet, because do you why? Mari shook her head and Taron whispered in her ear.  
“Because she is your second in command general bug ad you need to train her in all the ways of the bug, can you do that?” he asked  
She looked at Taron and kissed his cheek whispering back “yes”   
“right, come one we have spent too much time in this house, lets bundle the babies up and go get pizza, my treat” Taron told them.  
“Yes! The girls cried, Mari jumping down from Taron.  
“Thank you darling” Tina said to Taron softly “I’ll have a proper chat to each of them later, but you do make me proud you know” she told him kissing his cheek.  
“Mam” he chuckled, wiping it playfully.


	105. Chapter 105

Chapter 105  
“Taron, it’s Mam, I need to speak to you now, so, I am on my way up, Call me please” Taron listened to the voicemail confused. Why would his mam need him to telephone if she were already coming over. He dialled her number anyway.  
“What’s up Mam? He asked.  
“Taron is Eryn near you, if so, go somewhere else and please sit down” she sniffed, sounding shaken and as if she had been crying, Taron now worried sat on the edge of the bed.  
“She’s downstairs dealing with Draig, Mam you’re scaring me”  
“Taron, I… “she began to cry  
“Taron it’s Dad” Guy had taken the phone and Taron could hear his mam sobbing in the background.  
“I am so sorry Taron, but we just got a call to say that Henny, she had an erm an accident. She died Taron; I am so sorry” he coughed. Taron’s hand flew to his mouth and he gasped.   
“What happened? He stuttered.  
“All we know is that she was driving back to London and her car went off the road near Machynlleth, she was killed instantly. Your mam wanted us to tell you both in person but, we were worried how Eryn is going to be. So, I suggested we let you know first, so that you have time before we tell Eryn, I hope that’s the right thing, son I don’t know” he sounded as shocked and distressed as Taron felt.  
“Ok Thanks, erm yeah. I will see you in a bit” he said ending the call. He called for Eryn.  
“What are you yelling for I just got the girls down? She asked crossly, but seeing Taron was white as a sheet, she sat next to him and took hold of his hand  
“What’s happened? Taron? She asked, the last time Taron looked like this was when the doctor had given him his diagnosis. He turned and pulled Eryn to him, holding her tight.   
“Henny has had an accident on her way to London, Darling she, she didn’t make it, she died baby” he stammered.  
He felt Eryn tense and freeze up. She didn’t say anything, but he could feel her heartbeat was racing. He moved back a little to look at her, she looked at him shaking her head as tears trailed her cheeks. She blinked furiously. Biting the inside of her cheek, she broke down. Taron pulled her back to him as she sobbed into his shoulder. He began to cry too. They heard the front door open.  
“That’ll be Mam and Guy, they were coming to tell us, but I wasn’t going to let you wait and hear it from them” he sniffed.   
“She can’t be gone Taron, she just can’t be, how can she? Eryn cried. Leaning against him now sideways. Guy and Tina appeared at the top of the stairs and knew straightaway that Eryn knew. Tina ran to her and Eryn to Tina hugging each other. Taron stood and he took Guy downstairs pretending to check on the girls, when really, they wanted to give Tina and Eryn space.  
Tina sat on the bed next to Eryn and held her hands, she told her everything the police had told her and that they weren’t treating it as anything other than surface water and the fact that Henny was unused to the precarious bends in the valley. She had apparently taken a corner too fast. Eryn and Tina hugged each other again and leant together.  
“How on earth I tell my girls I don’t know” she sighed  
“Oh Wren” Eryn gasped  
“Omg, she won’t ever get to meet her, oh my god, how I don’t, I can’t get my head around it. All that noise and energy, gone” she sobbed as Tina rubbed her back.   
“Eryn darling no one is going to let Wren not know who Henny was, we all loved her so much, it just won’t happen, but you’re right. God it’s crazy, I feels so much like she’s just in London” Tina agreed.  
Taron appeared at the top of the stairs with Seren,  
“Sorry sweetheart, we have no expressed left, Wren’s having the last with Guy downstairs” he said softly. Eryn nodded and took Seren. She smiled and wiped her tears away quickly as she began to feed her. Tina stroked her head gently, as they both looked at her adoringly.  
Tina got up and hugged Taron  
“How are you? she asked softly, Taron shrugged and Tina squeezed him.  
“Don’t try and fix it sweetheart, this one can’t be fixed, just go with it darling. Listen, I think we ought to leave you to it, I need to work out how to tell the girls, we just didn’t want to not see you and just tell you on the phone” she told him  
“It’s ok Mam” he said hugging her back, knowing she needed it too.  
“Eryn I’m going to leave you guys to it and see you tomorrow ok, Remember we love you both, so call us, anytime please” Tina squeezed Taron’s hand and then headed downstairs. Taron sat in her place and wrapped an arm around Eryn resting his head on her shoulder.   
“Why is it when something amazing happens, something devastating hits us right along with it? he gulped breaking down. Eryn reached around and held his cheek as he pressed himself into her shoulder. She lay Seren carefully on the bed and pulled him into a hug, holding him tight as he sobbed.   
As the tears subsided, he quickly scooped up Seren and held her to him, rubbing her back she let out a large burp, breaking the tension and making both Taron and Eryn laugh.   
“Henny wouldn’t want us to be maudlin, would she? Taron said  
“What would she say?   
“Come on Babs? What the fuck are you making all this fuss about, that’s what my spectacular fucking funeral is for” said Eryn pretending to be Henny”  
“Jesus Fucking Christ you lot, cheer up will ya? he laughed doing the same.  
“Come on let’s grab Wren and put these too in the nursery and have a drink on Hen” Eryn told him.   
“Sounds good” he replied. Kissing her softly.

The next day Taron woke at the sound of yet another cry, The girls had returned to their one on one off routine again and Eryn sat against the headboard practically asleep, the breast pump going and her chin on her chest. Taron got up groaning, they had brought a special crib for their bedroom, to save going back and forth to the nursery. It was next to Eryn and had a side that moved down to open the side against the bed. It was great for whoever was on that side, but otherwise you had to get up and walk around.  
Taron lift Wren out  
“Omg Nug, darling you reek.” He said,   
“Oh god erm Eryn? He asked not sure what to do. Wren was covered all the way up her back in bright yellow poo, it was all over the bedding too. But Eryn could barely open her eyes and Taron knew he was on his own. Then he had a brainwave.  
He took Wren into the bathroom, laying a thick towel down, he slowly and carefully pulled her soiled clothing off and dropped them in the bin, they were well passed saving. He turned the shower on and laying Wren on the towel, stripped off his own clothes. He checked the temperature and picked up Wren who was crying hysterically.   
“It’s okay sweetheart Daddy’s got you c’mon” he soothed and lifted her up, stepping under the warm shower, he took the shower head and gently cleaned away all the poo.  
“That’s better hey” he smiled as she calmed down, enjoying the water and smiling wide eyed at Taron, she kicked her legs under the water. Making Taron laugh, he let the water run over his tired body too and shook his wet hair, this made Wren smile   
“You like that? He asked grinning and did it again, Wren made a soft gurgling noise each time. Then promptly urinated down the pair of them.  
“Wren! You are giving me a hard time, aren’t you? he laughed, but took the baby soap and lathering it up washed every little part of Wren’s small body, then decided he liked the smell and used it to clean himself too. Once he had rinsed them both thoroughly, turning off the shower he stepped out and picked a clean towel off the shelf, he wrapped it around Wren and lay her gently in the sink as he quickly wrapped another around him and threw the dirty on into the laundry bin.  
Returning to the bedroom, he found Eryn feeding Seren, she looked at him confused but too exhausted to ask.  
“Explosive nappy, it was all I could think of doing” he laughed. Laying Wren carefully next to Eryn as he stripped the crib of it’s soiled bedding and cleaned it up. placing a fresh lot of linen on it, he sighed sitting at the end of the bed to catch his breath, he ran his hand through his hair.   
“Sorry Welsh Boi” Eryn muttered. He turned confused   
“I’m no use, am I? she added  
He looked at her incredulous, but knew it was either the exhaustion talking, her grief or baby blues or a combination. He lay Wren in the crib and sat back in the bed next to Eryn, he kissed her cheek.  
“You are a superstar cariad, you are doing so much better than I am” he chuckled. Seren was done, so Taron quickly changed her and lay her in the crib. Hoping now they had gone down together they might stay that way. He yawned and stretched, getting back into bed he saw Eryn crumble.   
“Baby come here” he told her and pulled her to him, laying down he held her as she cried into his chest.  
“You know this is just the exhaustion and hormones sweetheart, we need sleep” he soothed.  
“I know” she sighed  
“I can’t tell you why I’m even crying, I’m so tired and I keep forgetting about Henny, then I feel so guilty, I can’t I just…” she sobbed.  
“Ssh, You don’t need to explain anything, it’s ok. I’m right here and I’m going nowhere. Just let it all out” he told her and for once she did. It worried Taron just how long and how strong her crying became, but when he thought about all she had been through, with pregnancy and the way Seren was born, His diagnosis and treatment, then rushing home for Henny and Wren and now just when things were looking to settle down again, they lost Henny. He knew she was all the family Eryn had, he couldn’t imagine losing anyone like that and knew how much he hurt over Henny’s death, he tried to hold it in but overwhelmed himself and began to cry with her.  
It was mid-afternoon when Eryn woke, she assumed that she had cried herself to sleep, as the last thing she remembered was Taron crying with her, the pair holding each other tight. She turned and saw the girls were missing from the crib, so stretched and turned but saw Taron still asleep. She looked at the clock it was 3pm, she had slept for 9 hours.   
She shook Taron awake. He protested and grumbled covering his head with the pillow.   
“Taron move your big fat arse; I need to get up” she moaned.   
“I thought you liked my arse. Came his muffled voice.  
“Not when we’ve slept 9 hours and our babies are not in their crib, meaning your poor Mam has been looking after them all that time” she nagged  
“Shit, really? he appeared and saw Eryn looked fresher and had needed both the cry and sleep.   
“Don’t go just yet, come here first” he said reaching under the duvet he pulled her waist.   
“No time for that Welsh Boi” she told him  
“No Fair” he grumped and plopped his head face down on the pillow. Eryn moved closer and ran her nails down his bare back and under his boxers, squeezing his bum.  
“You do have a very nice arse though” She told him, kissing his cheek as he looked up at her grinning.  
“I knew it” he laughed  
“Come on Welsh Boi, up and at em those girlies are our responsibility and I’m never going to manage on my own if we let your Mam do it all” she told him. He sat up and walked over to the dresser, pulling out a pair of joggers and t-shirt, he threw Eryn her clothes, she always piled up ready the night before. They got dressed and headed downstairs.  
Taron smiled when he saw his Mam was sat in the kitchen with a cuppa, both girls asleep. She had tidied too and the place was immaculate  
“Hi Mam, What did you do? he said kissing her on the cheek.   
“You should have woken us” he added pouring himself a coffee and one for Eryn which he handed to her. They sat around the kitchen table together.  
“I let you sleep; you both need it and that’s what Nain’s are for” she told them. Then reaching onto the table she handed Eryn an envelope.  
“It’s the funeral invitation, We got one too” she said solemnly. Eryn handed it to Taron unopened.   
“Just tell me when and where, that’s all I need. I’ll need to go shopping; all my clothes are maternity” she sighed.  
“it’s the week after next, Friday sweetheart, 3pm. It’s in Berkshire somewhere” he added,   
“Yeah that’s where her parents live” she mused  
“Mam that includes you, I’ll get Lindsay to sort it all out, what about the children? Do we take them too?  
“Of course,” Eryn snapped  
“Sorry” she sighed and Taron squeezed her knee reassuringly.  
“I meant ours, Tina if Mari and Rosie would find it too difficult of course I’m not saying they have too” she stuttered.  
“They are going Eryn, Don’t worry. They need to say goodbye as much as anyone does”, she told her. She was glad that no one asked how Mari and Rosie had taken the news because she didn’t want to add to their worries. She had been amazed at how understanding they both had been and suspected that they didn’t really understand or know how to process it all. She hoped that the funeral would help.  
“Eryn, we can go together to buy something to wear if you want, the dress code is ‘Wild and Loud’ according to the invite, sounds like Henny doesn’t it” Tina laughed sadly.  
All three sat silent for a moment as they became lost in their own thoughts,  
“I am so proud of you two” Tina said suddenly, causing Taron and Eryn to look at her confused.  
“Look at you both, you have been through so much since you met. Look where you are now? She added. “I can remember how much Taron babbled on and on about you Eryn in the early days and how shy you were to begin with Eryn” Taron blushed and smiled at Eryn, she smiled back.  
“I think you two could weather just about anything, now don’t you? she chuckled.   
“Mam don’t say that, you’ll tempt fate” Taron groaned. But Eryn shook her head  
“No Welsh Boi, Your Mam’s right. You and me we can take on the world” she smiled. Moving to sit on his knee he wrapped an arm around her waist.  
“With you anything is possible Mrs Egerton”

THE END


	106. Christmas

“How much stuff does a baby need hey Wren?   
Eryn said as she prepared to disembark the plane. She was so grateful to the airline staff as she would never have managed it this far on her own. Guy had taken them to the airport and with a double buggy, two car seats an enormous suitcase and various other bags helped her to get at least through to the departure gate. She had wrestled the pair into their car seats on the plane and thankfully they fell asleep on the flight. But now she was glad that a kind member of staff had seen her struggling and was currently loading up a trolley whilst Eryn chased the girls around back reclaim and tried to get them into the double buggy.   
“Thank you so much” Eryn grimaced as she looked around for Seren, the errant toddler was about to climb on the belt and a kind older couple were doing their best to stop her  
“Thank you” she breathed as she put Seren on her hip, She began to cry and reach out for the belt as Eryn managed to plonk a dummy in her mouth. She realised ‘Mo -Mo’ her monkey was nowhere to be seen. Panic hit, that bloody monkey was the Bain of the young parent's lives, Seren was obsessed and carried it everywhere. Eryn was about to burst into tears when she spotted him revolving on the belt full of cases. She quickly ran back and grabbed him, before finally returning to Wren who was also screaming as she now, of course, wanted her ‘Doobie’ or dummy and her monkey “kepee” it was once that Eryn had said she’d never allowed herself to drop to the level of speaking like a baby. But had soon given that up out of exhaustion.  
Finally, with both girls strapped in the buggy, both sucking blissfully on their dummies and rubbing their monkey's backs against their cheeks. Eryn could make her way to arrivals. As she burst through the door, she saw Lyndsay and another young woman waiting. This was the arrivals lounge and thankfully no press had got in. Everyone wanted images of the twins these days and it was a nightmare. Eryn and Lyndsay hugged and Eryn thanked the bewildered airport staff member. Eryn introduced Lucie, she was going to be the girl's nanny while they were there and Eryn almost kissed her feet. She was so glad to have extra help. Tina had offered to come along, but Eryn couldn’t take her away from the girls, not at Christmas.  
She smiled as Lucie bent down and smiled at the girls, she chatted sweetly to them and then offered to take the buggy for Eryn. Lyndsay took the trolley and Eryn sighed for the first time all day.  
“So, has he been suspicious? She asked Lyndsay  
“No, I told him I would get him his new phone to him by the end of the day, he wasn’t sure why I needed the old one, but seemed to buy it” she chuckled  
“Thank you, I just didn’t know how to explain the noise of the airport or anything and couldn’t just ignore his calls, he’d get too wound up” Eryn shook her head.  
“Well, I have you all set up in his trailer, once we have dropped you and the girls, I will take you luggage to the Cabin” she smiled  
“He’s going to shit his pants” Eryn laughed.  
Once in the car both the girls and Eryn fell asleep and Lyndsay had to wake her when they arrived. Pulling through the gates, there were a large number of people around the entrances all dying to see what was going on. They made Eryn nervous and she looked at the girls as the cameras went crazy, waking them up. Seren grizzled and began to cry, Eryn quickly put her dummy back in and did the same with Wren before she began too.  
“They are alright really, mostly just locals wanting to see celebrities really. Few are Paps” Lyndsay tried to reassure Eryn. But they still made her nervous. It had been strange the first time someone had approached Taron when she was with him when it was just the two of them. But with the girls, it had made her extra cautious. Like Lyndsay said they hadn’t had anyone who wasn’t sweet and lovely and just excited about seeing Taron, her and the babies. She understood all of that, but she couldn’t help being overprotective.   
They pulled up outside a bunch of campervans and taking the girls out one at a time, Eryn took their hands and they toddled with her following Lyndsay to where Taron’s was.  
“Follow Lyndsay girls, can you find Daddy? Eryn called. The girls new Lyndsay well and were more than happy to follow her calling out  
“Da-Da”   
They followed Lyndsay up and, in the camper, looking for Taron each went a different direction.  
“Omg, what do you do when they do that? Lyndsay laughed.   
“Go for Seren, she’s the one most likely to be trouble first” Eryn laughed as she heard a crash and turned to see Seren had pulled the cover off the bed and knocked the lamp over. Lucie ran over and grabbed her. Lyndsay had set up a playpen in the main lounge area and Lucie dropped Seren into it and began to entertain her with a toy duck. Eryn had already grabbed Wren and popped her in too.  
“Right, I shall go and get your stuff organised at the cabin and don’t worry I got food for you all for lunch coming in, so just get settled and Taron should appear in about 20 minutes,” she said checking her watch.  
Eryn sighed again and smiled, she was excited to see Taron’s face. He had been away now for 3 weeks filming and wasn’t expecting to see anyone until he went home in another 4 days. This had been Eryn’s idea, to travel up to Scotland. Surprise Taron and spend some days before Christmas alone as a family, before the mega Egerton Christmas and new year in Aber happened. It is the girls first Christmas they would be in demand and this meant the four of them could make memories for just them.  
She watched as Lucie, prepared the girls food   
“Go rest for a few minutes,” Lucie said “I’ve got this” she smiled.  
Eryn yawned, she sat on the edge of the bed and suddenly felt exhausted.  
“Taron you really need to calm down, I mean it was not that bad,” Matthew told him as he huffed toward his trailer.  
“I just feel like I could have done better than that, I will sort my head out and be on it I promise after lunch” he groaned  
Opening the trailer, he stopped worried he looked at the door and back again. A pretty, young blond was in his trailer and he didn’t have a clue who she was. Just as he was about to ask who she was he heard a sound that melted his heart.  
“Da-da? Da- Da, Da – Da” Seren began squealing. Hearing her sister Wren joined in.  
“Omg, Omg” Taron cried rushing to the paly pen he scooped both girls up in one go and spun them around   
“My babies, omg what are you doing here, my sweetest little angels” he beamed, tears in his eyes. The girls giggled and smiled the same smiles back at him, kicking their legs excitedly as Taron smothered them in kisses.   
He smiled at Lucie  
“Sorry, it feels like forever since I saw them,” he said   
“I’m Lucie, I’m the nanny,” she said and he nodded “Pleased to meet you, I would shake your hand” he offered but with both girls taking a side each he had none left.  
“Erm, is my wife around somewhere? He asked and Lucie pointed to the bedroom. “I’ll be back after lunch” Lucie added and slipped out.  
Taron carried the girls through to the bedroom and Eryn lay on top of the covers; she was fast asleep. Taron stroked a loose hair from her face and bending down precariously he kissed her cheek. He let the girls down and they made a beeline for the toys in the other room.  
He laughed following them, Seren tried to climb in on her own and in her desperation tried to stand on Wren to get higher. Laughing Taron quickly grabbed Seren off her sister. And sat next to the pen, placing Seren on his tummy and Wren behind her. Laid on his back he bounced them as the giggled.   
I was then that Seren noticed something, leaning forward she grabbed at it. For his role, Taron had to have a thick moustache glued to his upper lip. It was this that Seren was not pleased with.   
“Ow” Taron cried lightly as she yanked at the firmly stuck hair  
“Ow Seren, poor Da da is going to cry now,” he said pulling a sad face, This apparently didn’t phase the tot as she made a stronger attempt, this time Taron nearly swore.   
“Damn Seren Ouch, that actually hurts baby,” he told her. Bored with the game Seren scooted off Taron and sat by his head. Playing with his hair instead.   
Turning to Wren, he was surprised to see her looking strangely at him, clearly, she too wasn’t impressed with the new look. Her face crumpled and she began to cry.   
“Oh, baby bug, it’s ok. It’s Daddy sweetheart” he said laughing lightly, she whimpered as Taron began to sing her favourite lullaby “Hush –a-by-mountain. She suddenly smiled as if she had suddenly seen him and fell forward hugging his neck “Da, Da, Da ,Da” she cooed.   
“And what’s going on in here then? A sleepy Eryn asked as she came in through from the bedroom.  
Beaming smiled was planted on Taron’s face as he lifted the girls into the playpen and turned to his wife. Wrapping his arms around her, he spun her to  
“Shit Taron, careful” she laughed   
As he stopped and let her feet touch the floor, he pressed his lips against hers. Kissing her with deep passion and love. God, he had missed this, he didn’t want to stop. His tongue slipping into her mouth, she felt his hard-on press into her and whispered into her ear.  
“Taron” Eryn exclaimed as she pressed him back  
“Not in front of the girls” she grinned  
He laughed, pouting   
“Sorry, It’s just been so long,” he said looking into her face with longing.   
“Well, why do you think we have Lucie” Eryn told him  
“Why do we have Lucie? And how is it you guys are here? I am confused. Delighted but confused” he smiled  
“That tickles” Eryn laughed stroking Taron’s moustache  
“urgh, none of you like my tash? He groaned playfully. 

Taron was so excited that Eryn and the girls were there, he barely ate the food Lyndsay had ordered. Eryn on the other hand had yet to eat that day and was more than happy to tuck in. While she did Taron helped the girls use the potty and then put on a pull -up each. He took Wren out to the double buggy, tipping the chairs back a little, he lay her in, giving her Kepee and her Doobee and then returned for Seren, she already had her mon-mon and was sucking her thumb. Taron and Eryn had tried to discourage the thumb sucking, Eryn worried the girls would be like her and end up sucking their thumbs in adulthood. She didn’t care much about it now, in herself and Taron actually loved it. But they both understood how bad for teeth it could be, so decided to use pacifiers instead, hoping they would be easier to remove later. Sadly, the girls were happy to do either and more often the thumb was easier and they would discard the dummy.  
Taron smiled when he saw her and decided he wasn’t going to stop her, he was so bad at sticking to rules, both girls had him utterly wrapped around their finger. He tucked them into their cosy toes and began to move the buggy back and forth to rock them to sleep while singing to them. Eryn leant on the doorframe and watched him. She had missed him badly, not only because it was hard on her to parent alone, but she missed these moments watching Taron with the girls, always made her fall that little bit further in love with him. He doted on them and was so protective it had all her hormones going crazy.  
He glanced over and noticed she was watching. He smiled and winked at her. She chuckled and walked down the steps. She moved behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder. She snuggled into him.  
“Missed you” she breathed. Moving in time with him.  
“I missed you too, I’m glad you’re here, I was starting to struggle,” he told her. Peeking into the buggy, he saw the girls were asleep, so stopped and turned around to face Eryn, he kissed her gently  
“Struggle how? She asked concerned  
“Just off my game, I was getting in my own head I think, it’s just I don’t know… he trailed off  
“You are Taron Egerton Rocketman, there is nothing you can’t do,” she told him, making him laugh.  
“It’s just been so long; I feel so out of sync at times that’s all” he sighed  
Eryn looked into his eyes  
“You berk,” She said  
He scowled  
“You are the best actor I have ever fucking seen Mr Egerton; you have a depth of character like no one else and are a complete chameleon,” she said stroking his moustache  
“You are nailing it; I know you are and I’ve not even seen any of it yet,” she told him  
“You get you to arse back on set and blow them all away, you just need to remember who you are” she added  
He smiled widely showing the dimples on his cheeks  
“Thank you, Your pep talks always do the trick,” he said pulling her closer.   
“How much time is left actually? He said cheekily raising his eyebrows.  
“What are you thinking about Mr Egerton? Eryn replied playfully. She could feel him again on her leg as his eyes drew her in. They were about to run into the camper when the end of lunch call rang out.  
“Shit! “Bugger” they both cried and burst into laughter.   
“Hold that thought? He asked her and kissed her hard on the lips.   
“Go kick-arse baby” she told him and he went back to set with a much springier step than he had left. Even Matthew noticed it.  
The afternoon was uneventful, the girls slept for a couple of hours and then happily played in the room for a few more.  
Soon though they became fed up of being cooped in and Eryn decided to take a wander around the set, she sat both on the floor and put on their walking shoes, they were always dressed the same and after their nap, Eryn had changed them out of their Babygro’s and into two pretty red velvet dungaree dresses, with linen blouses underneath, these had peter pan collars and under the dresses, they had white cable knit tights to ensure they were warm enough in the Scottish winter weather They wore woollen mittens and white woollen beret type hats Eryn put their coats on and reins over the top. Holding one rein in each hand they made their way carefully down the steps.   
As usual, each girl wanted to do different things, Wren stayed close to her mother and Seren wanted to explore. Both, however, had a lovely new game called ‘What’s that?’ in actual fact it sounded more like   
“Wha thar” which sounded adorable, the first few times. The problem was it was never a few times. It was all the time. So, as they walked around the set Eryn sighed as she answered the constant questions.  
“wha thar” said Seren  
“That’s the floor sweetheart” Eryn answered  
“Wha Thar?” Asked Wren   
“That’s the sky baby girl,” said Eryn  
This went on and on, soon Eryn for her own sanity began to miss a few out or tried to distract them with something. Soon they found themselves near where Taron was on set filming. Eryn was a bit worried about the noise the girls might make but was surprised when Matt Vaughn saw them and beckoned them over. Taron must have been elsewhere, Matt greeted her warmly and said hello to the girls, he was more than happy for them to have a wander and explained that Taron was nearly done anyway. He had just gone to change costume and then this was the last scene of the day. He suggested they all stayed and watched.  
Eryn sat the girls on the director's chair with Taron’s name on and gave them a video on her phone to watch to keep them busy. Soon, Taron appeared on the set and Eryn watched. The lighting obscured them from Taron being able to see them and Eryn realised in all the time they had been together. She’d never seen him on set. She was mesmerised as she watched him and was so caught up, she almost forgot to keep an eye on the girls. Thankfully, Lucie had silently appeared and smiled at her as she picked up Wren who was wriggling in her place, an unpleasant aroma wafted from her. Lucie and Eryn shared knowing looks and she disappeared with Wren to change her when she returned Wren was nibbling on a cracker and carrying her dolly. She wanted it seemed to sit again on the chair and so Lucie lifted her back up. Swapping and lifting Seren up to go and change too, just in case.  
Wren sat and fed her dolly her cracker and nibbled it when dolly had done. mushing the cracker into her fairly open lips. Eryn returned to watch Taron, she was impressed at how effortless he repeated the scene over and over in different ways until finally Matthew called   
“cut”  
As the room relaxed, a voice was heard over everything  
“Da -Da” Seren squealed, she had been allowed to walk by Lucie, she too had her dolly and a cracker, both were dropped to the floor and instantly ran. She was so quick that even Eryn missed her trying to grab her, but she was up on the set and focused on her Daddy, the room burst into laughter as Taron beamed bending down, she ran into his arms.   
“Ok, Guys that’s it for today, now everyone’s ovaries have exploded” he laughed   
Taron pulled faces as Seren again tried to remove his moustache. As he was done for the day, he wasn’t so fussed about keeping it looking decent and holding his skin taught loosened it for her, she pulled it free and stuck it on her lips proudly.  
“You like it do you miss Bymp? he laughed  
“That’s right it goes there, he added as she tried to stick it back on Taron’s face.  
Lifting her up as she continued to stick it to various places on Taron’s face. He carried her off the set and grinned when he saw Eryn and Wren waiting for him too  
“How long have you been here?” he said cringing  
“Long enough” Eryn replied  
Taron kissed Wren, who was still trying to fit wet cracker into dolly’s mouth. She grinned when she saw him  
“Wha tha” she asked  
“That’s Mama” he laughed and Wren smiled  
“Ma-Ma” she smiled  
“What did she say? Eryn cried; it was a slight sore spot but so far neither of the girls had said ‘Ma-Ma’ yet. Taron beamed and kissed Wren’s head   
“That’s is a beautiful girl that’s Mama” he looked to Eryn, whose eyes were full of tears, he wrapped his free arm around Eryn’s waist as she picked up Wren.  
“Ma-ma” Wren grinned. Taron knew how much this meant to Eryn, Wren having been carried by Henny, Eryn had always worried about her bonding and at this moment she couldn’t help thinking of Henny. Meanwhile, Seren was becoming frustrated as Taron’s tash had lost its stick from overuse, She wasn’t paying any attention to her sister.  
Taron and Eryn laughed as they watched her. Eryn snuggled Wren into her and kissed her neck, blowing raspberries. Taron kissed Eryn on the cheek.  
“Shall we make a move or are we staying the night? He asked. Eryn chuckled  
“Oh yes, this isn’t all we have got planned for you” She raised her eyebrows smiling at him.  
Sometime later, the family and Lucie were all packed into a camper with a driver and on the way to their accommodation for the next 2 weeks. Taron looked at his phone as it lit up with a message from Matthew  
“That’s you done mate, have a wonderful Christmas and enjoy that beautiful family of yours, I'm dead jealous xxx” it read. Taron looked at Eryn  
“Matt says I’m done filming? Is that your doing? He asked resting his hand on her knee. They were in the second row with Seren on Taron’s side in her car seat, in the front was Lucie with the driver and Wren. Both girls again fell asleep with the motion of the car. Eryn rested her head on Taron’s shoulder and closed her eyes. He stroked her cheek and pulled a blanket off the back seat over her as she drifted off to sleep.   
It was dark as they pulled up to a beautiful log cabin on the edge of a lake. Taron too had drifted off and he stretched his arms up as he gently woke Eryn. She smiled when she saw him, remembering.  
“Well, was all this your idea? He asked as Eryn nodded sleepily.  
“Very Nice,” he told her. The driver got out and helped to take in their bags, Lucie took her things into the annex of the building where she would be staying. This was a separate self-contained flat, that meant she could truly give the couple some privacy and alone time. Eryn and Taron carried their sleepy daughters into the cabin, which was already warm and cosy. They saw a stunning log fire already lit in the main room. Eryn nodded to a room to the left at the back and Taron headed toward it, inside was a small room with Two cots already set up. He lay Wren in one and pulled off her shoes, he managed to slip off her coat, hat and mittens, as well as her tights, then pulled the light blanket up. Eryn did the same with Seren and they tiptoed out, pulling the door ajar.  
Eryn was impressed to see a baby monitor already set up and smiled. It was exactly what she imagined, the perfect hallmark Christmas movie cabin. Lucie popped into the main house  
“I just wanted to check that nothing in your plans had changed and I was ok to leave you to it,” she asked  
“Yes, Lucie, Thank you so much. We will see you tomorrow” Eryn said  
“Nice to meet you, Lucie, I have no idea what is going on, in fact, you know more than me it appears, so night” Taron laughed as he went to find the kitchen and make a drink.  
When he returned Eryn was sprawled out on the long wide sofa, her shoes discarded and eyes closed, a blissful smile on her face. Taron put the two hot chocolates on the coffee table, then knelt over Eryn on the sofa. She didn’t flinch and ran her hands up the back of his legs and to his bum.   
“Hmmm” Taron slipped his arms under her back and around her shoulders, bend down he kissed her neck. She opened her eyes and looked into his eyes, they were catching the firelight and he looked so good. She sighed  
“I really have missed you,” she said softly  
“I’m here now” he replied and kissed her lips, she took his lips in hers and pressed harder, he wriggled on top of her as he hands began to wander all over her body. He had been craving her touch and missing their intimate moments. He didn’t want to rush this, he wanted to savour it, make it as romantic as the setting she had worked so hard to organise. The lay on the sofa kissing and reconnecting their bodies for some time.  
They sipped their hot chocolates and chatted. Soon it was late and Taron took Eryn’s hand and pulled her up, taking her by surprise he scooped her up into his arms.  
“What are you doing? She giggled  
“I am taking my beautiful wife to bed and I am going to make love to her over and over” he grinned  
She rested her head on his shoulder as he carried her to the bedroom.  
As is usual with life, reality bites and though Eryn and Taron spent a reasonable time enjoying each other, they had to eventually give in to exhaustion and Taron’s declaration was short-lived.   
3am hit and a screaming cacophony rose both Eryn and Taron from their sleep. But before Eryn could move, Taron got to his feet  
“My turn I think,” he said dozily   
Eryn was relieved, she had a decent routine with the twins, but god it felt great to let someone else get up.  
Taron peeped through the door and saw both girls stood in their cots, red-faced and screaming. It can’t have helped to have woken in a place they didn’t recognise and all alone.   
Taron pushed open the door and walked over to where Eryn had already laid out clean clothes and pull-ups for the girl. He was always amazed at how organised she was, he was a mess usually and was glad to she was because it made his life so much easier.  
“ Hey, my girls, what’s all the fuss? Hey! He soothed picking up Wren first, he kissed Seren on the head and gave her her dummy, she wasn’t having any of it however and the dummy simply fell back out of her open mouth.  
“Come on sweet pea, don’t be cross I will be right with you” he continued  
Wren was sniffling, but happier now she was in her father's arms sucking her thumb. He lay her on the changing table and quickly stripped off the vest and the clothes from yesterday, her nappy was wet only, but pretty sodden. He changed it over and slipped on the vest and sleepsuit. Letting her down to wander her finally picked up Seren, who insisted on howling the entire time she had waited. Taron had chosen Seren last strategically, he knew she would be noisier and fussier, but that was a better than whatever nonsense she would get up to if he had let her wander while he changed Wren.   
Finally, quiet she scowled at Taron  
“You cross at Daddy? He pouted as he repeated the same actions for Seren as he did Wren. She refused to smile but kicked her legs. She also had a way to teach him a lesson, as he pulled back the nappy, he screwed up his face.  
“Thank you miss bymp, did you save this one for Daddy ? he groaned. But he had by now changed the worst of nappies and this was just another. He finished off and as she sucked on the edge of his t-shirt that somehow, she had grabbed.  
Taron scooped up Wren who was on the floor, sucking her thumb and playing with Keepee and Mon-mon.  
“Uh uh, mon-mon” Seren squealed at her sister. Snatching him from her as Taron stood upright  
“Hey, hey, no snatching Seren,” he told her. Both girls looked at Taron, causing him to break into a smile.   
“oh god, come on you too,” he said knowing his discipline had gone by the wayside.  
He slipped into the bedroom, feeling a little guilty that he wasn’t able to save Eryn from waking at all. He put both girls on the bed. Knowing what they wanted they crawl over to their mam and pulled her PJ top-up. It was a well- established arrangement, one took a breast each and snuggled into the duvet as Eryn watched over them, stroking their heads as they suckled.  
Taron watched the three, looking cosy and happy. He wanders round behind Eryn and climbed in under the cover. He snuggled up to her wrapping an arm around the front he could stroke Seren’s head, while Eryn stroked Wren’s. Soon the foursome was fast asleep, nestled together under the duvet.  
When the morning sun hit, the girls were not slow to get going and soon Taron was startled by a loud bang and crying from Seren. Sitting up instantly alert to what was happening he saw Seren was surrounded by what had been laid out on his bedside table when he went to bed, she was no longer crying but whining as she tried to get his phone to work. Wren on the other hand was now sat on his pillow and pulling herself to standing using the fabric of his top, strangling him.  
“Oh man I have missed you two little scallywags, c’mon breakfast girlies” he called seeing Eryn turn and stretch. Smiling at him.  
“You stay there! He told her  
“But you did the 3am, that’s not fair” she mumbled  
“You have been doing it all for the last 4 weeks, I think I owe you a few,” he said kissing her gently. She wrapped her arms around his neck looking deeply into his eyes  
“Have kids you said, it’ll be great you said” he chuckled  
“Yep,” she replied dreamily, kissing him back.  
“Go on go back to sleep… Seren No” he shouted as she began pulling the contents of his case out on to the floor with Wren’s assistance.  
“Oi you, partners in crime is it now? He laughed and scooped both up  
“I’ll come to clean this lot later,” Taron told Eryn as he backed out of the bedroom door, one daughter under each arm.  
Thankfully, the place had a playroom, it had been one of the main reasons Eryn had gone for it. Taron spotted the toy slide and pushed open the doors. He was amazed, the door open half-way, like a stable door. This meant you didn’t need a stair gate and could simply pop the children over the lower portion of the door and they were self-contained. The room itself was like a mini soft play centre, with a small ball pit section at the end of a very short slide, everything was rubber covered. A number of tubs with different toys were along the wall and in one corner was a bunch of huge beanbag cushions and a shelf full of books. Most of the floor was flat and in another corner was a doll buggy and a wooden block walker.  
Taron climbed over the small door and let both girls down. Wren was unsure and pulled herself up by Taron’s PJ bottoms. He took her hand and led her over to the tubs of Toys. Taking out a number of blocks he sat with her as they built a tower, Taron knocked it over and Wren looked scared then burst into fits of giggles handing a block to Taron to re-build  
“Da -Da” she bossed him  
Meanwhile, Seren was more than happy, having thrown herself headfirst into the ball pit was now sat somewhat crooked as she tried to bite a red ball. Taron flitted his vision between the two of them and chuckled when he saw fearless Seren.   
“What are you doing over there missus? He chucked   
“Num,” she told him  
“Is it nummy? Taron asked   
“Num” she nodded  
Wren now a little braver decided her sister was having all the fun and crawled over to the ball pit. Pulling herself up on the side, she was unsure what to do nest, she wanted to get in but without the courage of her sister looked to Taron  
“Uh, Uh” she urged opening and shutting her small hands  
“in? he asked  
“in, in she repeated  
“Good girl” he cheered as he lifted her into the balls. She sat perfectly upright and looked at the balls, picking one up she looked again at Taron. Wren had always been the more tentative of the girls and would always wait for assurance from Taron, or Eryn before doing things. It niggled Eryn and she often worried her propensity for anxiety hadn’t been passed down.  
Taron threw a ball lightly and watching intently Wren copied   
“Oh? Taron said making her jump and giggle a little, Seren threw a ball at Taron  
“Oi miss” he replied playfully tossing one lightly back at her. Soon, the balls were flying all over. Seren didn’t take long to tire at this game and decided to head out and check out the rest of the room. Taron lifted Wren out and sat her back on the floor. She followed her sister. Comfortable that both were content to explore, he decided he could safely disappear and begin to organise breakfast. Hoping to surprise Eryn with breakfast in bed.  
Eryn stretched and yawned, it felt like forever since she had been able to wake on her own and not because a small child was screaming blue murder. She slipped into the shower and groaned gratefully as the warm water soothed her and refreshed her tired body. She grinned sheepishly as she thought about the previous night. Sex with Taron was always so much hotter when they had been apart, she was amazed that they hadn’t lost that spark and still excited each other as if it were the early days.   
She dried off and dressed in some comfortable joggers and a Christmassy jumper. She took a deep breath and readied herself for the chaos. But when she wandered into the main room, it was all quiet. She noticed Taron was sat on the large u-shaped sofa. The Tv was playing the Disney classic “Robin Hood” and as she got closer, she saw it.  
Taron was flanked by two toddlers, all three covered in a mixture of chocolate spread, cereal pieces and marshmallows. The coffee table was covered in the same mixture along with two beakers of brown liquid which Eryn assumed was hot chocolate and three empty coffee mugs. A single large plate sat in the middle, which appeared to have once contained the items now covering everything in sight. As Eryn moved closer, she couldn’t help but burst into laughter.   
Taron turned and simply looked at her   
“What? he smiled He was covered in small brown finger smudges; more chocolate sauce and a number of mini marshmallows were in his fringe spiking it up at odd angles. He had a cheerio stuck to his cheek and chocolate was rubbed across his lips. Seren and Wren were sat grinning and giggling at the screen in many similar states. Eryn shook her head and sat on the end of the sofa.  
“ma -ma” Wren called holding out two incredibly sticky, chocolate covers hands.  
“Taron,” Eryn said using the tone Taron new to be a warning tone.  
“Num – Num? asked Seren, holding out a marshmallow to her mam.  
“Ok, I will go and get clean clothes when I come back… well omg Taron Egerton those girls just have you so … eurgh” she huffed and headed into the girl's room. Shutting the door though she burst into laughter.   
Taron took in the scene around him  
“I’m in big trouble girls,” he told them.

When Eryn returned from the bedroom, the main room was empty, the coffee table was now clear, though needed a wipe. The kitchen was also clear of debris and the dishwasher going. Eryn smiled and chuckled a little, thinking about the happy trio sat in front of the TV. How could she complain about anything when they looked so happy, she thought. It was then that she wondered where they were, it was disturbingly quiet.   
Then she heard a squeak, she knew to be Wren. It was coming from the bathroom and Eryn headed over. Pushing the door opened. She saw Taron and the girls sat together in the large corner bath. Wren was squealing as she put bubbles on Taron’s head and he shook it like a puppy sending bubbles and water all over the girls. Sat in their bath seats for safety, the girls were having a great time.  
Taron turned and smiled  
“Ma ma” Wren giggled  
“Mama is here” he declared   
“Quick get Mammy” he chortled as the girls began grabbing handfuls of bubbles and tried to throw them in Eryn’s direction.  
She knelt next to the tub and pretending to object allowed the cheeky twins to put the bubbles on her head.  
“Oh no, no Seren you got me, Wren help? She laughed “ argh Daddy? She urged  
But Taron simply egged the girls on.  
“No! Seren suddenly stopped and began to rub off the bubbles  
“No, Mama cry,” she said pouting  
Eryn’s heart melted  
“mama is ok baby girl” she smiled and reassured her. Seren gave her a grin and kissed her mam.   
It was the sweetest little peck and Even Taron was overcome, Seren had always been somewhat protective of Eryn, never liking even if she pretended to cry in games.   
“So, am I out of the doghouse? Look they are all clean and I will finish off in there once they go down for their nap” he said looking smug. Eryn leant in and kissed him, grabbing a handful of bubbles behind his back. She dumped it on his head.  
“You’re forgiven,” she told him and ran out as he reacted to the bubbles now running down his face.   
“no mama” Seren declared and this time she reached out to Taron to help move the bubbles  
“Aww my sweet pea, you looking after da da” he smiled  
She nodded.  
Taron, appeared from the bathroom, with each of the girls wrapped in their hooded towels like tortilla wraps. A towel around his waist, he saw that Eryn had finished the cleaning for him and so wandered into the girl's room to get them dressed. He grabbed the girls clothes and decided to change them in the main room. He lay Wren on the sofa and gave Wren a small bowl of banana pieces to snack on while he did Wren. She was locked into the rest of the movie on the screen and Taron was reasonably sure he had no reason to worry about her wandering off and into bother. He blew raspberries on Wren's round tummy making her giggle, pulling faces as he pulled on her tights and buckled her shoes. Sitting her up he pulled down the sweet little dress Eryn had laid out.  
“Your mammy always chooses the prettiest dresses, Wren, doesn’t she? Who looks beautiful every day Ms Nug you are ready to rule the day baby” he grinned kissing Wren on each cheek and nuzzling her neck making her crease up in a fit of giggles.  
“Da, da, da” she chuckled.  
He put her down in front on the Tv on one of the beanbags next to Seren and handed her another of the snack pots, Eryn had already made up. He took Seren from her spot and she grizzled until she realised, she could remain locked into the screen.  
“What am I scotch mist? Madam” Taron asked playfully, but nothing could detach the little girl’s eyes from the screen. Taron chuckled as he dressed Seren in the same set of clothes as Wren. Despite the girls not being twins, Taron and Eryn couldn’t help but see them that way. They never ignored the reality that Henny was Wren’s surrogate or ‘tummy mama’ and Eryn made sure to talk about her as much as she felt able. It was always a raw moment when Eryn was unable to share all the changes in Wren as she met her milestones and when the girls first took their wobbly steps. Eryn felt such guilt she felt her heart would burst. She was glad Taron had been there and if 2020 had given them anything it was the time and closeness to support each other through the grief. The girl’s first Christmas though was always going to be particularly hard.  
He let Seren down next to her sister and went to get himself dressed. He wandered into the bedroom and found Eryn sat on the bed Wrapping gifts.  
“Anything for me in that lot? Taron grinned peering into the pile of toys and gift sets.  
“Oh yeah like I would bring yours here to wrap, you are a nightmare for looking for them. They are well-hidden babe” she chuckled  
“You know what the only thing I want for Christmas is? He said saucily and crawled across the bed, letting his towel fall off as he did so.  
“Taron! Eryn cried her eyes wide she tilted her head and laughed as he met her , kissing her neck. She ran her arms around his neck.   
“Who’s watching the girls? She breathed  
“ Robin Hood” Taron mumbled into her neck as he pulled at the skin with his teeth.   
“Taron, I am trying to wrap these… ugh” Eryn lost all thoughts as he took her cheek with his hand and ran his lips across hers, closing her eyes. She sighed dreamily. His lips caressing hers they moved minutely apart and smiled into each other’s eyes. Until a scream was heard and breaking apart both ran full pelt into the lounge. Taron grabbing his towel on the way he was wrapping it back around his waist as Lucie knocked on the door.   
Scanning the room, the parents saw the reason for the scream. Seren had a handful of her sister's hair in her hand and Wren was wrestling with her to get free. Seren had a mushed banana in her hand which appeared to have been Wren’s. Eryn was there in an instant and separated the pair.  
“Seren Egerton, That is not nice. That was Wren’s narna, you say sorry” Eryn scolded and demonstrating again how to say sorry. The girls knew baby signing and from an early age had learned to say sorry by placing a flat fist against their chest and making a circular movement. Seren scowled   
“no! she shouted  
“Seren, you need to say sorry. I will count to 3 or it’s a naughty step” Eryn was firm and putting Seren down in front of Wren who looked sad and sucked her thumb. But Seren was not having it, She shook her head   
“no” she stamped her foot.  
Taron meanwhile had opened the door for Lucie and embarrassed by his state of undress, ducked into the bedroom to get dressed. Lucie now stood next to Eryn, she bent down to Seren  
“Seren, I think you hurt your sister, I thought Seren had kind hands and feet, this makes me so sad” she added  
Eryn had by now counted to two, but the feisty toddler was unmoved.   
“Oh, dear Seren, it seems you will be spending some time on the naughty step,” Lucie said standing and wandering off. Lucie’s involvement was important, she had arrived to take the children for the rest of the day and over-night and need the girls to understand that she had the same boundaries as their mam and dad. It meant they would feel safer and feel less confused by changing caregiver.  
Finally, Eryn reached 3 and having designated a spot by the playroom door as the naughty spot. She walked her over, firmly holding her hand and sat her down.  
“Seren, this is our naughty spot while we are here and I am putting you here because you hurt your sister and didn’t say sorry,” Eryn told her clearly.  
Seren began to cry hot angry tears, kicking her feet wildly at her mam. But Eryn ignored her and simply got up and walked away, she greeted Lucie and apologised for her walking in on the incident.  
“Hey, that’s life with babies huh” Lucie laughed. Eryn also apologised for Taron answering the door in just a towel. To that Lucie simply blushed  
“Could have been worse! She chuckled and Eryn raised her eyebrows and pulled a face.  
“So, we are all set apart from these two need a feed, then they are all yours” Eryn spoke over Seren’s screaming cries of fury. At the age of one, she only had to sit for 30 seconds. But for a tot that age must have felt like forever.   
Eryn walked back over and knelt next to Seren as Lucie went over to say hello to Wren.   
“Seren I put you on the naughty step because you hurt Wren, are you going to say sorry now,” Eryn asked. Seren pouted and sniffed. Eryn pulled her into a cuddle and squeezed her  
“o ree” she mumbled, circling her hand on her chest. Eryn kissed her head  
“I think it’s Wren who needs that, you want to give her a cwtch sweetie,” Eryn asked and smiling again Seren ran wobbly to Wren and knocked her over as she tried to cuddle her sister. Falling back onto the beanbag, Wren pulled an unimpressed face at Seren, then giggled as Seren tried to kiss her.   
The adults laughing, Eryn made herself comfortable on the sofa, while Lucie got up and began to take the bits Eryn had packed for the girls for overnight.  
“I’ll give you some privacy to feed if you want to pop them round when you’re ready,” Lucie said  
“Thanks, Lucie, I will send Taron round, fully dressed I promise this time” Eryn assured her  
“Shame” Lucie laughed   
“Oh! Lucie you and I are so alike, we are going to have fun this week winding him up” Eryn laughed.  
“I heard my name, what are you up to? Taron asked after Lucie had left.   
“Nothing my love, nothing at all” Eryn smirked as Taron pulled s suspicious face.  
“You want these two? He asked seeing Eryn was unlatching her maternity bra and lifting her top.  
“Please,” she said evenly and Taron lifted Wren and put her on the sat next to Eryn, Wren seeing Eryn’s breast absent-mindedly latched herself on and snuggled onto her Mam’s lap. Seren Squawked as she was disturbed and sat on Eryn’s other but seeing her sister quickly followed suit. Laying a protective arm around the girls and lowering her top a little. She rested her head back and closed her eyes. The movie was nearly finished and Taron decided to make a hot drink and join in. He placed the two coffees on the table and sat between Eryn’s legs, his arm snaking around her leg he hugged it. This was now his favourite spot to sit. He was part of the action, which was cosy and resting his head on Eryn’s knee. He could watch the girls as they drifted off to sleep. It was the perfect bonding time and away he could feel close to both girls and Eryn. Eryn, in turn, stroked each of the heads in a range of her hand, including Taron. Like their father, the girls loved the feeling of a head massage and it wasn’t long before she felt the heavy pull on her breast and absence of the tugging sensation suckling had. This meant the baby was asleep.   
She tapped Taron gently and nodded at Wren, he smiled and gently lifted her onto his shoulder.   
“Put her in the buggy, they need to go to Lucie’s” Eryn whispered and Taron nodded. He gently lay Wren in the buggy; it was already in the laid-back position and he was able to wrap her blanket around her easily. He looked around the room spotting a monkey covered in chocolate spread face down on the floor, he retrieved it and realised this was not Wren’s, he’d initially found it irritating that they knew which of the identical monkeys was their own, but now he too recognised the slight differences and was able to work out which was which. He collected up Seren and lay her in the buggy too, tucking mon-mon under the blanket with her. He smiled when he saw Eryn walking over with Keepee, he took the soft toy and tucked it in too.  
For a moment they both stood and watched the girls sleep. Eryn sliding her arm around Taron’s waist. She rested her head on his upper arm and gazed adoringly at the pair. She had never felt so happy and content for so long and though she was enjoying it all, her heart would flicker with anxiety occasionally. Waiting for the person to appear and tell her it was all a dream and not real.  
She patted Taron on the bum  
“Go on then, sooner you drop them off, the sooner you can join me in the bedroom,” she said seductively.  
“Be right back” he winked and turning the buggy around walked quickly in the direction of the Annex.  
\--------------  
Smut*  
When Taron returned, the place was spotless. The fire was roaring and all the Christmas lights were on. It was looking extremely festive. On the kitchen counter was a present wrapped in festive paper. Next to it a large glass of red wine.  
Taron smiled and took a sip as he opened the paper. He laughed out loud as he saw what was inside. A male thong looked up at him, springing off of the waistband was a sprig of mistletoe. A tag attached read simply   
“Put it on and see me in the bedroom, big boy” Tarn laughed heartedly as he held the item of clothing up and gulped.   
Looking around, he made sure the door was locked and pulled the curtains. He couldn’t believe he was even doing what he was, as he undressed and pulled the thong on. he shook his head, this was not sexy. It was then he heard Christmas music begin playing in the bedroom and laughed again. He still had sock lines on his ankles, but walked confidently to the bedroom, standing in the doorway. He grinned as he saw Eryn wearing a red velvet bra and knicker set, trimmed with white fluff.  
She bit her lip sexily, and he made short work of getting to her. Crawling up her body he kissed her legs, running his hands over her soft skin. He trailed kisses up her body. Squeezing her hips as he rose the length of her. Eryn let her head drop back and the sensations took her over. Feeling each kiss long after he had moved on, she moved gently in time with the music as Taron reach her neck, he stopped looking into her eyes darkly, he smirked sexily. Eryn felt her heart beating fast. How was this man hers? Still hers? She mused as she took in each of his facial features, he hadn’t been gone all that long but she had missed him so much, she realised even more now he was in front of her.  
Seeing a little sadness in her eyes Taron kissed her cheek  
“You ok? he asked she didn’t answer in words, instead of taking his face in both hands, she pressed her lips against his, lingering and tilting her head to caress them deeply. She hummed lightly as she did so. He tasted so good and when she felt the tip of his tongue between her lips, she opened for him, deepening the kiss all the more. It was no time before she felt his hands in her hair and the whimper, she always let free escaped her lips. Causing him to smile against her lips and press harder against her. Reaching behind, he unclasped her bra top and through it to the floor. His hand returning to her back he held her and pressed her chest against his as he straddled her.  
His strong hands ran down her back, causing her to arch and groan, his lips pressing into her neck and over her shoulders. She loosely draped her arms around his neck as he continued down her stomach. She flinched as he reached her belly and hoped he wouldn’t let on that he’s seen. Instead, he kissed each of her stretch marks and using his chin wriggled at the top of her thong. Sliding them down her hips he pulled them off.   
The springing mistletoe on his own underwear was by now becoming annoying and sitting up he smirked  
“Are you planning on anything with these or can I get them off now? He asked. Eryn laughed and reaching down she pulled them off.   
“I just thought they were funny” she smiled as he returned to straddling her, his cock pressed against her, made her gasp a little. He grinned at this. But he wasn’t ready to go there just yet, instead, he slipped his hand between her legs running two fingers the length of her lips, he circled her clit with his middle finger, watching her reaction he felt his breathing speeding up, his heart beat fast and hard as she rocked her pelvis along with him, pressing herself against his hand, he placed the two fingers inside her finding her g spot, he began again making ever stronger circles, before beginning to make a ‘come here’ motion that made her groan loudly he kissed her stomach and pulled the skin into his mouth leaving small red marks as she shuddered an orgasm hitting her out of the blue.   
Taron beamed looking up from his line of love bites.  
“already? He looked amazed  
“Jesus Taron, my god” she breathed, her chest heaving. He slipped his fingers out and moved up to lay next to her, kicking the duvet down so they could get underneath. He pulled it back over them and reaching around her, he lay his hand against Eryn’s back and pulled her close, she raised her leg and rested it on Taron’s hip. He kissed her gently on the lips as his gripped her thigh, pushing himself against her groin. But not enough to enter her yet.  
She pressed her forehead against his, closing her eyes. Smiling dreamily as she ran her nails down his chest and pushed him onto his back. He looked up at her seductively, his eyes though we're full of love too. His eyelashes fluttered fast as his chest heaved. She gripped his thighs with her legs and tossing her hair behind her, took hold of his cock between her legs, sliding down in one motion she took his into her mouth and sucked hard, a couple of times, before changing to lightly lick the tip of his head, pumping slowly with her hand. He growled loudly and exhaled deeply  
“Oh Baby” he moaned as she repeated the pattern, increasing her suction she enjoyed the tension she felt his body going into as she pleasured him. He closed his eyes, his hand resting on Eryn’s head as she moved up and down rhythmically. He was far away when he felt himself getting close. With her killer instinct she stopped right at the very point he thought he was about to cum.   
“Jesus fuck Eryn” he groaned, but Eryn was sat upright now and simply smiled a knowing smile. She lifted herself slightly and pressed him into her, biting her lip as she felt him press against her hot spots. Taron took hold of her hips and squeezed them, moving her slightly side to side. She let him move her how he wanted to begin with but leaning back so she could ensure he was placed perfectly. Letting go, she bounced on his cock, holding on to her breasts as she did so, Taron watched his wife and was impressed as she moaned his name loudly. He had a hard time remembering when Eryn had allowed herself to let go with him quite this much and it only made her hotter. He came hard as she screamed his name her face a picture of erotic pleasure as she too came, still bucking on him as though she were riding a bull. He held her hips and found himself in the pleasure of watching her. As she slowed, she ran her hand down her body between her breasts and down her stomach, until she rested it on Taron’s stomach and her favourite place.  
She looked sublime and he couldn’t move transfixed by her beauty. She smiled taking in his trance  
“Taron? She laughed as she slid herself off him and onto the bed. His eyes followed and a beaming smile remained on his face, but he didn’t say a word. His mind blank.  
“Stop it Taron, what? she chuckled her face turning red. He leaned in and kissed her gently   
“Sorry” he mumbled shaking his head  
“You are just …. “ his words came out wobbly and he just shook his head again  
“Exquisite” he breathed “Phenomenal” he added, kissing her again. She nestled into him and nuzzled his neck.  
“You are pretty flawless yourself” she whispered back. Closing her eyes and allowing herself to melt into him as he stroked her back gently with one finger.   
“I love you Welsh Boi” she whispered softly as she drifted off to sleep. “I love you too cariad” he replied.


End file.
